ENERGY IN THE NEWS  2:52 pm September 12, 2011

French Nuclear Waste Dump Explodes, Kenyan Oil Pipeline Explodes

by Ken Layne

Catch of the Day: Thyroid Cancer.How is the world of energy going, today? Not so well! In the non-German, still-nuke-having European land of France, a nuclear waste dump in Marcoule exploded. At least one person is dead and several are injured and of course there is “no danger” until, like every recent nuclear disaster, the entire province is pronounced off limits to humanity for the next 10,000 years. (The Fox News-esque British deadpan comedy blog Daily Mail marks the explosion with the headline, “Marcoule explosion: Is the tide of anti-nuclear irrationality on the turn?”) And in Barack Obama’s socialist “Aloha State” of Kenya, a gigantic oil pipeline exploded in a heavily populated slum of Nairobi, killing at least a hundred.

East Coast earthquakes, Manhattan hurricanes, tens of millions of American households without electricity, what else can we expect along with the constant West Coast radioactive rain from the still-spewing Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster ? How about stinkbugs! There is a new plague of stinkbugs, in America, and you will not be spared:

The reviled brown marmorated stinkbug has made its nasty presence known throughout the Mid-Atlantic, eating fruit and vegetable crops and invading homes. But there’s been one good thing about the pest. It’s created jobs.

Gah, never mind! Welcome, stinkbugs! Stinkbugs is Obama’s jobs plan! (This is an ironic/incorrect use of “is.” Check reddit or something for an explanation, or Comic-Con.) [Al Jazeera/Treehugger/Daily Mail]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 131 comments }

tihond September 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Rick Perry prayed this would happen.

nounverb911 September 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Has it rained in Texas yet?

tihond September 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Perry was misunderstood, he really prayed that campaign donors would "make it rain" on his campaign, and it worked!

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Then Perry steals the election and makes it rain on us…

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Then that should have kept it from happenin'!

Crank_Tango September 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Nothing a little deregulation and tax-cutting wouldn't, um, fix.

OzoneTom September 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

"killing at least a hundred" what?

Pristine_ODummy September 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Yeah, that was a source of mystification to me too, also.

Chet Kincaid September 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Really?

Ken Layne September 12, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I guess AP style is "100," is that what you're wondering about? http://allafrica.com/stories/201109122217.html

Steverino247 September 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm

"Elephants?" was what my mother always said in those situations.

Guppy06 September 12, 2011 at 6:52 pm

We blowed out a cylinder-head. Killed a nigger.

Barb September 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm

I don't think we should rush to judgement on this one until Michele Bachmann tells what what God means to say by these disasters.

Not_So_Much September 12, 2011 at 4:13 pm

She seems like she would know a thing or two about stinkbugs.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Given what Kenya's been doing on the gay rights front, you'd think that Teabagger Jeebus would be smiling down upon them. Can't wait for the Xtard take on this one.

MOG2410 September 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm

hmm, marmorated for your pleasure.

Radiotherapy® September 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm

9/12….Never forget!

PrimlyStable September 12, 2011 at 6:55 pm

9/12 is Kenya's 9/11.

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:08 pm

September 12th is people too, my friend…

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Not "stinkbugs." Job creators!

poncho_pilot September 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm

tax cuts for stinkbugs, ASAP!!!

elviouslyqueer September 12, 2011 at 2:57 pm

The reviled brown marmorated stinkbug has made its nasty presence known throughout the Mid-Atlantic, eating fruit and vegetable crops and invading homes. But there’s been one good thing about the pest. It’s created jobs.

The only difference between the brown marmorated stinkbug and Michele Bachmann is that the stinkbug actually created some jobs.

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

No, I have never heard of stinkbugs mating with closeted gay males.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Nor do they say stupid things on national TV.

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I missed the story about how the wind turbine broke loose and decapitated 100s of people in Norway.

DaRooster September 12, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Wind power is DANGEROUS!

gullywompr September 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Dangerous? Pfft! What a blowhard…

GregComlish September 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Worse: socialist wind turbans converting wind energy into pure sharia

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:09 pm

# WINNING

Negropolis September 13, 2011 at 12:09 am

Oh boy. That was good. That was real good.

emmelemm September 12, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Maybe a bird or two…

finallyhappy September 12, 2011 at 2:58 pm

We've had stinkbugs here in MD for a year- so what is new???

nounverb911 September 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Didn't Spiro T. Agnew invent them?

gullywompr September 12, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Nattering nay-bugs of stinkitivity.

DashboardBuddha September 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Nice!

Sue4466 September 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm

You win.

Pristine_ODummy September 12, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Ha!

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2011 at 2:58 pm

We could always use offshore wind power — well, except that it would spoil the view from the Tea Room at the Bridgeport Yacht Club. But in theory, and if there were some way to use wind turbines to despoil a poor neighborhood, we could.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Don't forget natives don't like them obstructing their morning salutations to the sun.

Crank_Tango September 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

giant hamster-wheels for the poor? It would fulfill the teabaggers' flintstonesque fantasies of a return to better days, also.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Nothingisamiss September 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm

The problem with that it, they wouldn't actually HURT the poor, and profits would be taken to wind turbine companies from oil companies. You see why it's impossible.

MLHencken September 12, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I hope you're not thinking Bridgeport, "The armpit of Connecticut".

weejee September 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Nuclear reactors explode, and pipelines explode. You can't explain that.

But, but that means I'm out of a jerb.

SorosBot September 12, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Time passes, entropy increases; you can't explain that.

weejee September 12, 2011 at 3:27 pm

And that -S makes the anarchists happy. At the other end of the spectrum, the extremely dense Teatards, like neutron stars, have a heavy ration of strange quarks, and that helps to explain their unexplainable positions.

poncho_pilot September 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm

true! sometimes you expect them to spin something a certain way but they spin it the opposite way. sometimes they are supposed to be in one location but they are not. allegedly there are supposed to be millions of them at their rallies but no one has been able to observe them.

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2011 at 11:06 pm

You never know for sure whether the cat is dead or not!

freakishlywrong September 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Kill Baby Kill!

KeepFnThatChicken September 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I get all my cheap energy from China, so fuck all these expensive exploding places.

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

"There had been a leak in the fuel pipline earlier, and people were going to collect the fuel that was coming out," said Joseph Mwego, a resident.

Oh great — Kenya used to be one of the better-off African states. Now it looks like they're adopting their economic plans from Nigeria, where this kinda shit happens all too frequently.

crybabyboehner September 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Stinkbug Smoosher = Job Killer.

WunkRocker September 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Thank Jebus we still have good old safe coal mining.

Spurning Beer September 12, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Safe and clean.

gullywompr September 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Any US Americans hurt? No? Then meh.

Pristine_ODummy September 12, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Any ^^ white ^^ US Americans hurt? No? Then meh.

FIFY. NNTT.

MaxNeanderthal September 12, 2011 at 5:39 pm

"Small earthquake in Chile, not many dead". :- Claude Cockburn's entry for "most boring headline".
By the way, that Daily Heil headline counts as rational and balanced for them….

johnnyzhivago September 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm

When Texans start stealing from ruptured pipelines, it will be big news here.

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:13 pm

When Texans start stealing from ruptured raptured pipelines, it will be big news here.

//fixed

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Don't San Diego's poop covered beaches.

Electricity, what is it good for?

DashboardBuddha September 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Absolutely nothin' HUH! Good GOD!

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Say it again!

And thanks to your quick reply DBB, I can't edit to say "Don't forget San Deigo's poop covered beaches."

Oh the humanity!

DashboardBuddha September 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Sorry…I'm at work and I have to make my comments in a lightening fast manner or else I would be distracted by…work.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 12, 2011 at 3:29 pm

No worries… I'm at work so I have to make lightning fast comments so nobody looks over my shoulder and sees Courtney deep throating a cucumber. Would be awkward.

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:15 pm

"Don't forget San Deigo's poop covered beaches."

Did you happen to see any old Triumph motorcycle parts laying around there?

AJWjr. September 12, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Electricity's good for stealin'.

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:16 pm

"I steal my electricity from the Sun"

Now every bagger is gonna want them there so-lar panels, so's they can steal some electricity, too….

Trannysurprise September 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

"gigantic oil pipeline exploded in a heavily populated slum of Nairobi"

Is this the "brownout" they were talking about in Ohio?

DaRooster September 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Are stinkbugs brown?

Man, I hates me some stinkbugs!

emmelemm September 12, 2011 at 3:14 pm

And do they stink?

gullywompr September 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Sacre' boom!

Lascauxcaveman September 12, 2011 at 4:17 pm

This wine tastes funny.

gullywompr September 12, 2011 at 6:41 pm

And why are the blue spots in this bleu cheese glowing in the dark?

Come here a minute September 12, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Do not worry. The US will soon be adopting the environmentally friendly energy policy of burning the poors.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Soylent Green, yaddi yadda ya.

Steverino247 September 12, 2011 at 4:26 pm

No, we're diverting the poor from food to energy, just like we're doing with corn…

Spurning Beer September 12, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Excellent! Now there is one more option to add to the "all of the above" energy policy Sarah has been telling us we need for years: safe, clean-burning poor people. They're America's home-grown energy solution.

PubOption September 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm

The fat ones will probably produce more smoke than the dirtiest coal.

AJWjr. September 12, 2011 at 6:04 pm

If you let them dry on the tin roof before burning, they provide a lot more BTU's than trying to burn them fresh, you know, just like cowpies.

An_Outhouse September 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm

We could burn Canadians instead of their crappy 'tar sand' oil.

slithytoves September 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm

what else can we expect along with the constant West Coast radioactive rain from the still-spewing Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster?

Holy crap! I now have an explanation for the Republican slate of presidential candidates!

edgydrifter September 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Amateurs. We're actively and permanently contaminating our own aquifer with benzene and other fracking agents right this very minute–you don't see us jumping up and down in front of the cameras. C'mon, foreigners, act like you've been to the big game before.

Don't make us go all Deepwater Horizon again. We'll do it if we must, just so you remember we're still #1.

SorosBot September 12, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Sure, we could repair our old, decaying infrastructure, but that would require spending money, so we can't 'cause that's bad for some reason.

WunkRocker September 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Put that decaying infrastructure on your @#%#$^#$ing Streetcar to HELL.

fuflans September 12, 2011 at 8:34 pm

yeah we are so fucked.

all of us.

SheriffRoscoe September 12, 2011 at 3:14 pm

what else can we expect…

Planet Nibiru will be here in a few weeks to rip the Earth to shreds, Ken. Nobody can see it but they know it's up there, menacaing us, threatening to cull the herd.

ShaveTheWhales September 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Good grief. That site is, shall we say, amazing.

bumfug September 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm

We have the equivalent of an exploding nuclear waste dump here in America every time there's a republican debate.

mavenmaven September 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

The reviled brown marmorated stinkbug has made its nasty presence known during the most recent GOP debate, demanding more time and distracting attention away from the two leading Texas and Utah stinkbugs.

LiveToServeYa September 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Dude, radiation is only a weak carcinogen. In conclusion, radiation: good for the gonads, good for the testicles. Try our radioactive teabagging process! A millirem of prevention is worth a sievert of cure.

AJWjr. September 12, 2011 at 6:14 pm

My gauge is calibrated in roentgens.

Poindexter718 September 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

What say we send the stinkbugs to, I don't know, Tampa, Fla., and have Wolf Blitzer ask them topical questions on teevee?
I'm thinking that could be quite droll.

baconzgood September 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Fucking clients screwing up my snark time!!!! I was going to snark way up top but because of these assholes my snark is more bottom than Marcus Bachmann. What's the point of snarking now (sniffle), no one reads and upfists a snark this low.

Mumbletypeg September 12, 2011 at 3:27 pm

*sigh*

You know who else experienced frustration combatting those job-related interruptions that threatened his place near the top of the heap?

baconzgood September 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Tony Hayward?
Kenneth Lay?
Tom Delay?

SorosBot September 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm

President Skroob?

WunkRocker September 12, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Tits McGee?

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I, too suffered from snarkus interruptus as hordes of smelly citizens came into the office to get child support calculated for their loathsome offspring.

I better get back to work.

Nothingisamiss September 12, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Snark is best fresh, it's true. Your intern couldn't keep clients…entertained…during afternoon snark fest?

baconzgood September 12, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I was thinking that but HR frowns upon making her take off her top and jump rope. Sheesh, "This was standard office procedure in the '50s" I told them.

Mumbletypeg September 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

How about stinkbugs! There is a new plague of stinkbugs, in America

How about that. Stinkbugs are the new bedbugs.

This is good news all over, for folks still researching obscure ideas for a Halloween-costume next month.

DemonicRage September 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Hahahah. The very first posting brings Rick Perry into play. The whole world could explode today in one big nuclear confrontation, and as Wonkette readers' eyelids curled up into human bacon, all that the Wonkette reader would think to himself or her self would be, "What stupid thing did Rick Perry say TODAY?"

BTWBFDIMHO September 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm

If a stinkbug creates jobs, maybe it's just another nickname for the Koch brothers.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Blinky NEVER gets old.

Goonemeritus September 12, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I think the next Biblical plague will be a Ted Nugent world tour if God is sticking to his normal set list.

prommie September 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm

He has already sent upon us the plague of an Alice Cooper tour. It was foretold this would be the forerunner of the apocalyptic Nugent tour.

Steverino247 September 12, 2011 at 4:52 pm

No way. Alice Cooper rocks!

LiveToServeYa September 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm

What's not mentioned is that stinkbugs are a component of Mexican and Vietnamese cuisine. How shall we handle this crisis? Why, with a knife and fork! Mmmm, smelly mana from heaven.

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Needz moar pho.

An_Outhouse September 12, 2011 at 3:33 pm

The Guardian says that the dead guy was carbonized. When I go, I want to be carmelized.

subsum September 12, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Hey, radiation, as long as it comes from a privately-owned reactor, is good for you (I doubt that's the case in France… those commie, cheese-eating surrender monkeys,) it keeps you warm and enlightens you with the glow of Ayn Rand's wisdom.

Oil, no matter where it comes from, is good for you. If you disagree then the terrorists win. Drill, baby! Drill…!

Allmighty_Manos September 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm

If only the government would get off industry's back, there would be less of a chance of anyone finding out about this.

mereoblivion September 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Protect our stinkbug before it's too late!

SorosBot September 12, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I like the Daily Mail wingnut's assertion that opposing nuclear power after two major disasters at nuclear power plants "irrational". Um, no, that's totally rational; irrational would be using a single incident of coordinated terrorist attacks to use planes as missiles to turn to paranoia and completely reorder society, blatantly violating the Constitution in creating a Gulag where brown people are held and tortured under questionable allegations of terrorism, starting two unending wars only one of which is even tangentially related to the attacks, creating an illegal domestic surveillance system to spy on everyone in the country, and forcing extreme and stupid security practices at airports (and only airports) to make it look like you're preventing hijackings. That would be irrational.

subsum September 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm

We don't do shit like that. That's not who are.

prommie September 12, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Jeebus Criminy! That fucking Daily Mail is filled with more blatant, ludicrous lies and propaganda than anything I have ever seen, truly, it is worse than Fox News. This statement stood out: "In a real way, Fukushima shows the innate robustness and safety of nuclear power." He just keeps saying over and over again, "nuclear power is totally safe and radiation is absoluely harmless." And Chernobyl wasn't so bad, its just liberal hysteria that made such a big deal of it.

MaxNeanderthal September 12, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Rule 1, Never, ever, click on a link to a Daily Hate-Mail article
Rule 2, See rule 1
Rule 3, Lather, rinse, etc. etc.

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2011 at 3:50 pm

I await the stories of exploding wind turbines and solar arrays.

Irrelevant Personal Anecdote–in high school, a classmate gave a speech arguing for solar power, closing with the observation that "the big oil and coal companies will oppose solar power, because you can't put a meter on the sun."

"Well, yeah, of course not. It would MELT!" said a bright girl in the class.

To make matters worse, I jumped in with "No, it could work if they put the meter on at night…"

…to which she triumphantly retorted,'Yeah, but then in the morning, it would still melt!"

prommie September 13, 2011 at 9:41 am

The snark was strong in the young Dr. Zoom.

genxr September 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm

NUKE THE STINKBUGS!

WhatTheHeck September 12, 2011 at 4:05 pm

So Michele Bachmann’s campaign imploding is the opposite to all the worldwide explosions?

zhubajie September 12, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Where do you think the stinkbugs are coming from?

WunkRocker September 12, 2011 at 4:19 pm

funny_amazing_interesting_weird_stuff_Stink-bugs_20090716130324357.jpg (400×304) http://bit.ly/pFddU1

Beetagger September 12, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Declare the stinkbugs to be endangered and then the republithugs will eradicate them… for sport.

owhatever September 12, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Neither was bigger than the Cincinnati streetcar disaster.

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:06 pm

That was one big, gay pileup!!!

DahBoner September 12, 2011 at 7:06 pm

But did they bow and say "We are very sorry", like the Japanesesters did?

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Cincinnati Brownout, baby!

Negropolis September 13, 2011 at 12:07 am

No, Ken. Stinkbugs sound like the GOP's jobs plan.

But, I'm sure somehow this proves that Obama is morally weak. Now, let's do a post on how the Obama administration was responsible for the purging of the Knights Templar or the extiction of the dinosaurs.

ttommyunger September 13, 2011 at 11:49 am

"Nuclear Fission is a very expensive way to boil water."- Albert Einstein. But all he knew was that sciency stuff, right?

DashboardBuddha September 12, 2011 at 3:37 pm

One of the cool things about my job as an insurance agent is the program we use to generate premiums (comparative rater). It takes a few minutes to sort through our companies and there's not much else I can do while I'm waiting.

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