Perennial ratings black hole CNN is never one to miss out on “something that happened a few days ago,” so they will pull yet another GOP debate out of Wolf Blitzer’s anus, tonight, in Florida! Reliable source The Internet says that this debate will be a kind of “last chance” public stage for the indistinguishable humanoid mass of nuclear waste dump residue still spending campaign dollars losing to Rick “dildo in a fancy wig” Perry to continue arguing about doing so. That will pretty much be it, for this debate! UNLESS…. Unless unless unless… Mitt Romney has a crazy Hail Mary up his debate sleeve? Yes! It is the dreaded “Tim Pawlenty endorsement,” which Mitt Romney just got, today! Mittens, he is THAT TRICKY, hiring someone no one has ever heard of right before yet another pointless debate, to tell everyone that Rick Perry sucks. See you in hell, Rick Perry!
And for extra loser points, Mittens will make the losingest-by-the-standard-of-who-dropped-out-first former GOP presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty his national co-chair.
From TPM:
Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, who left the race for the Republican presidential nomination last month, has endorsed Mitt Romney and joined his campaign as a national co-chair.
On Fox and Friends this morning, where Pawlenty made the announcement, he defended Romney’s record on health care reform (which he had unsuccessfully attacked on the campaign trail) and joined in the dogpile on Rick Perry over his rhetoric about Social Security.
Haha, “dogpile.” That sort of sums it up. [TPM]
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Can't wait for tonight's debate. Is Herman Cain still banging that Chilean Model?
Apparently, they will all be pounding Perry tonight, though.
Does that mean they'll take turns on his anus? If so I can't wait to watch Michelle work the dildo….you know, like she does on Marcus.
Man, you girls are NASTY in the morning. I love it.
Sounds like Santorum will prevail, then.
Oh, yeah, Santorum will be all over these guys.
I protest this whole format. Shouldn't there be one less podium for these losers to fight over each week until there's only one left standing? Reality TV
faillibel!Luckily, a distant relative of mine passed away and visiting hours are tonight! Plus I don't have elitist cable on my TV.
You get all the breaks.
Maybe Mittens can haz prize for most money spent never getting the G.O.P. Pretzeldential Nomination?
~
Lifetime Achievement Award, if by "achievement" we mean "burning piles of cash".
If we adjusted for modern dollars wouldn't someone like Sen. Taft (tried something like 6 times) have to hold a slight edge?
<Mittens' Staffer> Mitt, you were just endorsed by T-Paw.
<Mittens> Who?
<Mittens' Staffer> Exactly.
More like:
<T-Paw> Mitt, I've decided to endorse you.
<Mitt> Do I know you?
<T-Paw> Mitt, I've decided to endorse you.
<Mitt> Thanks, now get back to that fence painting.
<T-Paw> Mitt, I've decided to endorse you.
<Mitt> Bitch, where's my coffee?
How does this affect Sarah Palin?
Can't say, but it's gotta be you-know-what kind of news for you-know-who! And by the way, Panamanian strongman and President-Alternative Juan McCain issued the following decree over the weekend: "No more wars in Hajji-stan," proving once again that even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Although at least on my quick scan of the story it looked like it was only because there was no more popular support for such adventures – not that it was just plain a bad idea.
And Yahweh knows wars should be popular! That was Dubya's approach anyway: all the righteous anger of a counter-jihad, no conscription so only the Poors have to go fight it, and tax cuts for everybody*!
__________________
*whose income derives principally from dividends and interest
Like all Americans, Sarah Palin has been cautioned to avoid driving or operating heavy machinery when Tim Pawlenty's name is mentioned.
Undeafeated!
Who?
The T-Paw momentum boost should propel Willard right into:
(1) oblivion?
(2) the White House?
(3) a footnote to history, like Goldwater VP candidate William "E" Miller?
(4) naming T-Paw his veep candidate (see (3) above for results)?
Or the infamous Admiral "Who am I-Why am I here" Stockdale of the Ross Perot Soiled Diaper candidacy
Since Glams (or whatever the name is) set the new Wonkette Standard of PMS Responses, allow me to climb up on my soapbox, assume the Mantle of High Moral Outrage, and assert:
Vice Admiral James Stockdale, who was awarded the Medal of Honor for his leadership as a POW during the Late Unpleasantness in Southeast Asia, is about as far from "infamous" as one can imagine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Stockdale
Like most Liberal Communist Pinko SKum, you mistake honesty, intellectual integrity, and . . . well . . . honor . . . as things to be treated with contempt.
In the future, please direct such comments to those who deserve them, e.g., your fellow Wonketteers — bravely fighting for freedom from their keyboards in their parents' basements.
Regards,
Neilist
Wonkette's Moral Outrage and Hormonal Overload Desk
P.s. Breaking News! Benazir Bhutto is STILL DEAD!
Who are you and what are you doing here?
One wonders what Stockdale's opinion of McCain was.
Waitaminute… I thought Stockdale was Dana Carvey's running mate?
The man was honorable and forthright. The moment was, however, infamous in the annals of political gaffes.
It's pretty sad that Miller is now best know as some lady on radio's father.
Um, I'm pretty sure that would be the "Momen-Tim" boost.
The other day upon the stair…
And he damn well won't be there tomorrow, either.
T-Paw wants the VP slot, which would be appropriate since he is, technically, a bucket of warm spit.
He may want it, but I can't believe Romney would pick him for it. Mitt will want somebody more dynamic and base-appealing for the VP slot.
Sorry Mitt, but the GOP also wants somebody more dynamic and base-appealing… for the Presidential slot.
Naw, if Romney gets the nom, he needs to go to the center as fast as he can to win the general. Scary thing is, on the surface, he's nearly sane and human enough to do that, if things continue to go badly for Barry O.
Ugh, FLORIDA.
This crowd will give a standing ovation to the death penalty champion of the Western World.
Yeah, if their ass fat hadn't permanently melded to the leather seats of their Hoverounds.
The bland leading the bland.
The bland leading the bland, fighting unsuccessfully against the insane.
||:⊃] Ugg like.
… We all shall fall into the Kitsch.
An endorsement from "human cardboard cutout" Tim Pawlenty? This thing is OVER.
So is an endorsement from a guy nobody ever heard of, or cares about, really worth much?
Well, the media loved T-Paw, so it's probably worth at least 50 cents' worth of extra news coverage for Mitt.
Wow, adding the Timentum to the Mittmentum will make an unstoppable juggernaut of beige blandness!
Sounds like a no-mentous occasion to me.
Here in Connecticcut there ain't no "mentum" 'cept Joe-Mentum! It's even part of the weather forecast on WFSB EyeWitness News Channel 3. http://www.wfsb.com/story/14905578/technical-disc...
An endorsment from Tim Pawlenty is like getting traded to the L.A. Clippers.
Blake Griffin's ACL seconds that remark (as does Elgin Baylor's career, and Danny Rice's kneecaps).
An endorsement from Tim Pawlenty is like getting a "World's Best Mom" mug from one of the Palin children.
With Pawlenty's influence behind Mittens, Perry should start getting fitted for his "Mission Accomplished" flightsuit.
Is T-Paw gonna shoot sparks out of his butt as a warm up act at Mittens' campaign speeches about how corporations are better than people?
I hope so. I'd really like to see that.
Line's drawn in the sand! Let the clash of the titular family-values and
fiscalfickle conservatards begin!!Line's drawn in the sand! Let the clash of the titular family-values and
fiscalficklefecal conservatards begin!!T-Paw and Mittens "Making a bridge to the future."
Marcus Bachmann approves your metaphor, for SEXY FREEDOM.
T-Paw and Mittens "Making a
bridge toshit pile of the future.fixed
There are a couple rusty gusset plates on Mittens' bridge, too !
"…that will soon find a new home at the bottom of the Mississippi."
What is the difference between Generalissimo Francisco Franco and Mitt's campaign?
Nothing-they are both still dead.
Chevy, is that you?
What, Franco is dead? oh, you didn't mean shows up in everything James.
I finally got that. Hobgoblin upfist.
Yes, this is Chevy Chase, but I prefer my nickname, "Bethesda."
I'll see you over at Kenwood for some prime rib and bourbon.
The amount of people who have asked me if Chevy Chase is named AFTER THE ACTOR continues to blow my mind.
And Ron Paul stayed flat.
yawn
/ stretches and goes to fix another cup of joe.
We have one of those Kuereg machines in our office.
I bet it makes much better coffee than the Tuareg machine in our office, which keeps trying to organize camel caravans to go raid the candy machine down the hall.
You have a machine that makes Volkswagons?? Awesome!
Ahhh Keurig. I'd have to drive my Hummer to Starbuck's with the A/C on full-blast both ways to find a more expensive way to hurt the environment for a cup of coffee. But it tastes good so I chalk it up to "inconvenient truth". (Shrug … sip .. sigh … sip.)
It's not as bad as burning tires for heat like I do.
You might think so, but in the right setting those are very efficient and can be made semi-environmentally friendly (massive heat, scrubbers and some chemistry I can't understand). Some professors in Oklahoma actually came up with the idea a while back, and they've built a few plants around the country.
No snark, just random trivia tangent from my years defending the IP rights of medium to huge corporate vampires.
That reminds me of what somebody said about Harley-Davidsons: "The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower"
I do not ride a motorcycle and have no dog in the fight–just liked the phrase.
Serious question: Are they that bad? I was attracted by the flavor, but also the convenience and the lower waste of coffee. (I would make a pot in the office and invariably most of it would go to waste) I was wondering about the plastic container, but our town said the used cups are ok to throw in the recycle bin. If they're really horrible, I will consider other options (it's not my machine so I have no skin in the game on that account).
I never heard the plastic was recyclable anywhere, so hooray for your town. In my Connecticut town — where you can get a cup o' joe with or without joe-mentum — they go right to the landfill. There's also a bunch of cardboard in the packaging. But the coffee and hot water don't go to waste — that's good. I compound my inconvenient truth by ordering K-cups on line so they're delivered in larger cardboard boxes after being Fed Ex'ed to me. Fed Ex'ed — not my decision. The invisible hand of the market says each of those plastic, cardboard, airshipped K-cups is worth 56c.
yawn
/ stretches and goes to fix another Sapphire martini (triple olives, because it's breakfast time) /
The only thing needed now is Newt's endorsement to complete the eternal triad.
It might not be sex, drugs and rock n roll, but still.
sleeping, milk, and Kenny G?
Bland white man from some state somewhere endorses bland white man with lots of money and majek undies from some state where he used to be kinda liberal leaning but now he leans conservative. What shifted in his majek pantaloons? Who knows? Ugh. Maybe Santorum. Probably. Whatever.
I won't be watching. I'll wait for the Taiwanese version.
Today we are all Taiwanese animators.
Exactly. Taiwanese 3D Model Mitt Romney/ Taiwanese 3D Model Tim Pawlenty 2012 !! Much more vibrant and full of life compared to the real thing!
Mitt Headroom for President! Now that's a candidate worth paying attention to.
Mitt was born in Detroit, as his daddy, also a failed preznidenchal candidate, was a big-shot at Rambler. Candidate George Romney came back from a fact-finding tour to Vietnam so overwhelmed by the military's PR machine that he claimed he'd been "brainwashed." This ugly reference to another failed imperialist adventure in Asia terminated his candidacy.
Ha ha, if anybody knows anything about brainwashing, it's Mormons.
Yep. His daddy was another politician buried for telling the truth. The GOP had just started it's slow descent around then, too.
This is exciting newzzzzzzzzzzzz…..
Another debate tonight? This is just five days after the last one; it looks like we're headed towards nightly primary debates. If you're liveblogging them all, Kirsten, we hope your sanity and liver can take it!
I understand that Michele Blockhead intends to "get heard" this time around. I think that means twisting the crazy knob up to 11.
I understand Marcus Bachmann intends to "get hard," so someone better get Rick and Mitt some splatter shields.
Apparently there was a similar spate of debates among the Dems last time around, only because there were no screeching TP freaks to cater to none of the networks cared until the primaries started.
I really don't get this election cycle and why it seems everyone is supposed to be paying such rapt attention 6 months before any primary votes are cast – maybe because the GOP clown show is such a car wreck?
What, do you expect the media to go do some actual reporting when they've got a horse race they can relentlessly cover instead?
Not arguing with your general point, but since Time marches on and all, it is now fewer than five months until the Ioway caucuses.
It may only be 5 months to a primary if Arizona jumps up, and accordig to some soruces Iowa might in December if Florida screws the calander all to hell but it is still 5 months and 2 days until the firs primary (NH, Feb. 14) – if it matters to my rhetorical point.
CNN is still trying to out Fox Faux News. They didn't learn from Michael 'Savage' Weiner so now they're catering to the ball lickers.
They took 9/11 off, to masturbate.
Expect them to be walking funny as they walk on stage.
Who wouldn't want to be endorsed by Tim Pawlenty?
Any bridge construction company…
Wait, who endorsed Mitt Romney?
Mattel did.
No, who's on first.
Mittens campaign staff is screaming…
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What in hell does "Reply/span>" mean?
It means: "The terrorists have won."
Apparently we have regained control. Phew!
U.S. Out of Replistan!!!
They won the moment Dubya said "let's spend a trillion dollars to invade Iraq so te world wil hate us and Iran can have a free hand". That is an exact quote from my upcoming tell-all memoir "Wrong About Everything: The Bush Presidency (GAH!)"
It means "Somewhere, a few lines of JavaScript are misbehaving."
T-Paw's endorsed Mittens? How exciting is THAT!?
It would take a month for Juan Valdez and his little burro to harvest enough coffee to keep me awake for the excitement.
joined in the dog-poo on Rick Perry…
It's going to be Mitt. The jokes will write themselves. The Breitshits will tie themselves in knots.
Its got to be as bad for one's image as being named "next big thing" by the Huffington Post.
so now the healthcare reform will be called Obamnewlentycare ?
Breaking News: T-Paw also endorses oxygen:
"I hear it is really good for you."
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO Now we're going to lose O2.
And when there's a third oxygen atom, it's that much better!
Ozone producers are people too, my friend.
Fair warning, T-Paw: the last Romney dogpile was the byproduct of a twelve-hour drive from Boston to Ontario on top of the Romney family station wagon.
I imagine it went like this:
(kkkkissss)
"I knew it was you Fredo. You broke my heart."
joined his campaign as a national co-chair.
Co-chair means the fattest contributors sit on you half the time.
Sometimes a paper towel is a napkin.
O/T, but apparently Krugman has the wingnuts in a frenzy for telling the truth about the 9/11 "commemorations".
I saw that. I say "Goooooood." Fuck em.
I'm sure wonkette will post about this and I will repeat myself on that post. But I find it funny that these same whining conservatives were the same ones who supported blocking legislation to aid to 9/11 survivors and first responders, all in the name of "smaller government." They can fuck themselves with a pineapple.
And how many of them live in New York City?
Exactly.
El Pinche:
Yet the Republicans (and, sadly, some Democrats) in the House and Senate rushed to the trough to bring home money for their districts under the guise of national defense. Costing the lives of American service personnel. Read "Mr. Smith is Dead."
And the airlines were bailed out with the huge payments to the families of 9/11 victims. When before in our history have we done something like this? Did the Republicans object to this "big government" move?
His brief item on how 9/11 was hijacked.
P.K. disabling comments was guaranteed to get them foaming at the mouth. Wingnutz is wingnutz — they can't handle the truth. Fuck 'em, exactly.
This is the sort of "Head Exploding" commentary I can appreciate.
Plus Krugman has that cut little smug grin on his face that you just know works Teatards into ultimate Santorum-y frothiness.
Romney is pulling out all the stops in going for the bland vote.
They need some sort of beige flag.
"On Fox and
FriendsOthers That Hate the Poors and the Browns this morning…""dogpile," eh? What, was TPM afraid that nobody would get a "yiffpile" reference, or their readers would be offended by the infinitely more accurate "shitpile"? PUSSIES.
i can just barely see my elbow from here.
How many more of the GOP/TeaTard love ins is CNN going to broadcast? They do provide some entertainment. But really, the GOP had a debate last week. I don't know what we'll learn that's new in just a 5 day period.
At least Rick can spend a couple of days hanging out with Brother Jeb in Florida. It keeps him out of Texas.
Hasn't God put out those fires yet?
Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, who left the race for the Republican presidential nomination last month, has endorsed Mitt Romney and joined his campaign as a national co-chair.
Hero to zero, just like that!
/Hercules musical number
T-Paw endorsed Mitters? Jeez, he really does hate him.
I don't think Mitten's cam-pain can handle this sandbagging.
I can't wait to see how fast Mitt tosses Timmah overboard once he realizes the only way he's getting near the WH (other than on the tour) is by being Perry's VP/sanity beard. Assuming Perry will listen to his handlers about such matters instead of naming Larry the Cable Guy his running mate.
Really. Who gives a fast fist fuck?
Future first lady Marcus Bachmann?
My Ouija Board says Ronald Reagan endorses Mitt also. Or it told me to listen to my dog, Sam
No, that was Captain Howdy calling for Regan.
This is Palwnenty's biggest endorsement since he backed McCain
T-Paw's not ga-ga for Hee Haw?
Romney/Ambien 2012!!!!!
Boy, this is a real "game changer," emphasis on "gay."
GOP debate goes in, dogpile comes out. Who can explain it?
Headline:
MITT ROMNEY GETS ENDORSEMENT FROM TIM "KISS OF DEATH" PAWLENTY
On a cool, humid day, the dogpile is steamin' fresh.
I am surprised Pawlenty had time to formulate the endorsement as he was busied this weekend seeing Contagion fifteen times & pleasuring himself to the triage & riot scenes in Minnesota. Small government breeding tragedy is T-Paw's kind of Woebegone.
Polenta: that crappy cornmeal custardy stuff that high end restaurants will put under a small piece of expensive seafood, if they're trying to make a skyscraper of main course elements. Pawlenty: same crappy low-grade food element.
If Pawlenty knew what was good for him he would have endorsed his fellow Minnesotan, the raging unstable Michele Bachmann. Now she's going to corner him at the next Republican cocktail party and then chop off his balls and shove them down his throat.
The bland leading the bland.
Now, if T-Paw had endorsed Obama, THAT would've been …
Never mind. Still uninteresting.
I ran for president, and all I got was this Mittens in 2012 t-shirt to go with my hockey jersey.
Obamneycare indeed.
If Tim Pawlenty crashed in a forest, and nobody was around, would he make a sound? Or would anybody give a damn?
Tning tricks for Mitt, eh? Bless his stupid little heart.
Well, apparently our town doesn't know plastic from shit. Keurig's website says the cups can't be recycled. sad face.
However, that being said, there is a reusable attachment one can buy where regular coffee can be used.
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