It's you or him.Raccoons — “Nature’s Night Bear” — have long lived in proximity to humans and the garbage cans that are the primary symbol of human habitation. But the masked beasts have suddenly decided to kill everyone instead of just eating pizza crusts and tipping over Weber grills. This is happening now in Sacramento, and will soon be happening everywhere humans hide.

The Sacramento Bee reports on this new 9/11:

Another raccoon attack in urban Sacramento on Tuesday night has seriously injured a dog and startled a neighborhood. The third attack in two weeks, it suggests a fundamental change in the city’s relationship with its wild inhabitants.

The raccoon incidents come amid numerous skunk encounters in the city that have left dogs and people desperate for a bath.

A bath? Have these skunks no shame?! [Sacto Bee]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleMichele Bachmann Must Now Pray To Sewage Monster For Relevance
Next articleJoe Walsh Heroically Sues Ex-Wife Over Child Support Case