attention at any cost

Joe Walsh Heroically Sues Ex-Wife Over Child Support Case

Ladies, we hear he's single, but you might want to steer clear of this one.Let us sum up teabagger barbie Joe Walsh’s congressional accomplishments to date, because it’s an easy one: nothing. Joe Walsh is mostly the “if serial deadbeat Christine O’Donnell were actually elected” alternate universe equivalent of someone who miraculously got a job in Congress for blathering shrill, hypocritical nonsense on Fox News all the time as though that was his sole job description. (Sarah Palin has a lock on that spot, sorry.) In his case, we say “hypocritical” because the only thing Joe super hates more than “fiscal irresponsibility” is paying child support for his own kids. The intelligent human that Joe Walsh is not would try to settle immediately and make this embarrassing scandal go away, but Joe has decided to go the “maximum dickhead” route by filing a motion to sanction his ex-wife for her trouble and force her to pay his legal bills.

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Six days after the Sun-Times reported that Rep. Joe Walsh allegedly owes more than $100,000 in child support for three of his children, the McHenry Republican filed a motion seeking sanctions against his ex-wife.

Walsh’s attorneys sought the sanctions against Laura Walsh because they said she had not complied with their request in February to provide them voluminous documentation of her employment and salary records at pharmaceuticals manufacturer Eli Lilly as well as bank statements, tax returns and expense reports.

At that time, Joe Walsh’s attorneys had scheduled an April interview with Laura Walsh and said they needed the extensive documentation to prepare for it.

Laura Walsh’s attorney, Jack Coladarci, called that request “harassment” and said the issue was why Joe Walsh was not paying $117,000 of back child support and interest. Laura Walsh had no corresponding obligation to pay Joe Walsh any support, and so the extensive requests for documents were inappropriate, Coladarci said.

Sorry, Laura Walsh. Joe Walsh harasses the rest of the country with his idiot ploys for attention, too. We feel you. [Sun-Times]

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    1. mrpuma2u

      THIS is why he was too busy to attend Obama's job speach in DC. OK makes sense now. What a complete bastard of a tool this guy is.

  1. SorosBot

    At least he's being consistent; most Republicans only financially screw over other people's kids, Joe even does it to his own.

  2. SmutBoffin

    Joe Walsh is his own fiscal and personal 9/11, and it was an inside job.

    Please disregard if that makes no sense.

  3. x111e7thst

    In the TeaTard paradise that Joe would like to bring about (Somalia) he could simply avail himself of a Second Amendment Remedy.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        Probably true. Back when I was listening to them, the entire music scene was canned-pop shitawful. Later I discovered Frank Zappa (thankyougod), and redeemed my soul.

    1. LettucePrey

      Well, I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens… I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you. Jerk off.

    2. __kth__

      Actually this Joe Walsh is becoming such an asshole legend that discussion threads about aging guitarist Joe Walsh are likely to contain references to teabagging and missed child support payments.

    3. Pristine_ODummy

      They're beautiful, majestic, graceful birds, and the symbol of Amerikkka.

      Why do you hate Amerikkka?

    1. AlterNewt

      "Mommy, why is Daddy suing you?"

      "Sweetheart, remember our little game we play? 'Secrets'?"

      "Uh huh."

      "That's not really your daddy."


      1. Pristine_ODummy

        And Biely should know, having stolen many a man's* soul and faith.

        *Wimmin and childrin also. Biely does not discriminate, for such a discriminating fellow.

  4. Callyson

    “He would rather hear from job creators as opposed to being used as a pawn by the president for a political speech,” Roth said. “He will meet with small business owners … He would love to come back to D.C. with four or five [job creation] ideas and present that to the president.”
    1. Child support enforcement officer
    2. Doctor, specializing in vasectomies
    3. Child counselor for cruelly rejected children
    4. Ghost writer for tell – all exposes by adult children about their upbringing
    5. Joe Walsh's replacement in Congress

    1. emmelemm

      Bam. Nicely done.

      G-d I hate this disgusting sack of shit. Where is the Republican "personal responsibility"? Your litle spermies made these sprog, now fucking support them already! Or – wait for it – they'll go on welfare! (OK, not if Mom works at Eli Lilly, but that's not the point.)

    2. yrbmegr

      Wow, did you skip the President's speech to come up with all that? Did you go to a tailgate party? Meet with small business owners (for drinks, coke, and hookers)?

    3. Pristine_ODummy

      Thank you. I will tweet this to this godawful sack of shit, who should thank god every day that his testicles are nowhere near my legs, as he would be staggering bowlegged with his flattened balls otherwise. What a fucking prick. His own goddamned children!

    1. glamourdammerung

      Cheney "having a few beers" then shooting someone in the face actually offends me on a personal level as I have really low tolerance for morons mishandling guns.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        How about Mormons mishandling guns?

        That's the trouble with trying to sort out and rank GOP douchebaggery — there's just so much to choose from.

        1. glamourdammerung

          Mormons have to dress up like Native Americans prior to getting really dangerous with the guns.

        2. Pristine_ODummy

          Do your, um, quarters, ever get really crowded? I mean, what do you do when overcrowding happens? With all these candidates for one of your bashes, I mean, parties, I can't help but worry.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        John Yoo is definitely high on the GodawfulPrick list, but AFAIK, he's actually apparently a good husband and loving father. So, banality of evil a la Arendt.

        This fucking prick is willing to let HIS OWN CHILDREN go without. That takes a special level of awful.

    2. Nothingisamiss

      Doug Feith? And def. John Yoo. And Rummy. Fucking hate fucking Donald Rumsfeld.

      God, there really are a lot to hate. I had to winnow it down to just those.

    3. ShaveTheWhales

      Mmm, Inhofe, Gohmert, Steve King, Chambliss, Rumsfeld, Bolton, Wolfowitz, …..

      Not-That-Joe Walsh is certainly a douchebag, but the competition is pretty intense.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        As bad as all those pricks are, and some of them are truly awful, not one of them has done the dirty to his own children. Bolton may be a wife-harrassing prick, but AFAIK, he's never been in defiance of a child support order, and even that miserable swine, Inhofe, loves his grandchildren.

        Joe the Bagger is in a whole special category of evil.

    4. Not_So_Much

      Hmm, but the list of candidates is so long and distinguished — hard to pick just one.

      But yes, he's a supreme douchcanoe.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          That's not the issue, though. Yes, he's a prick, but he never denied his children food, shelter, or the lovingkindness of a parent, hard as it might be to envision that heartless old sacko'hate as anything "loving" or "kind." Both his daughters seem to love him dearly, and he certainly has always loved and supported them, and their children.

          To deny your own children the wherewithal to survive takes a special kind of heartlessness. No matter what your feelings about your ex-partner, your children are your very own flesh and blood, the carriers of your name, your history, and your genetic heritage. We're wired to love our own and hate all others. Yet this lowly swine let his kids go without $100K worth of what all kids need, while he lived the high life. He's remarried, with more kids and a new wife. I'm sure they're just props and he'll discard them when he's done.

      1. finallyhappy

        yeah, but they killed so many other people's kids. I hate reading the list of military killed each week- early 20's and younger.
        Not to minimize the older members of the military who die-they are someone's kids too..

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          But that's instinctive with human animals just as much as any other animal: we protect our own, we attack anyone else's. This prick can't even care for his OWN fucking children.

    5. Rotundo_

      I guess I don't find him that far outside the normal parameters of republican behavior patterns. I think he's kind of pedestrian when compared to others in the party. Compare and contrast to Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, John Boener, they all are cut from the same shitty cloth, have the same ethics and the same malevolent outlook. Most republicans are a little more tender to their children, but it sounds like Joe here decided to trade up and the wife and children aren't too happy about that so there is a back and forth pissing match going on. I just really would not like to be him looking back on his existence at some point in the future with a nasty terminal illness, watching the karma rolling in as a big fucking wave. Dying sucks, dying with the sure knowledge that no one will give a shit will be an interesting experience for him, I'm sure

  5. harry_palmer

    Child support laws are just more government regulation. Let those kids get their lunch money on the free market.

  6. Texan_Bulldog

    I surmise the reason he wants all of her documents & financial info is because he wants to pay the least amount possible. Father of the Fucking Year!

    1. FlownOver


      Around these parts it doesn't matter. Even if Mom has a half-mil line of credit at Tiffany's Dad is still expected to make his own contribution based on his own ability. It's the curious, non-Republican notion that both parents should make a reasonable contribution to their dependents' (get it, Joe? Dependents!) best interests.

      [We return you now to your regularly scheduled snark]

      1. Geminisunmars

        I love these Dads (and perhaps a small fraction of Moms too – just trying to be p.c. here) who would rather pay a lawyer than child support.

    2. glamourdammerung

      Nope. It is to stall and I would guess that it is also to hope the case disappears. Since he lost his license twice due to not wanting to be picked up over nonpayment of child support, there is a pattern of behavior here.

      1. Texan_Bulldog

        Thanks to you & FlownOver. Having never been through a divorce (knock on wood), I just naturally assumed the worst. Oh wait! He's still a dick!

        1. HistoriCat

          Yeah – I don't recommend the experience. I suppose if you don't have minor children the whole thing might be bearable but there's a bunch of irritating crap involved. Notify the court if you move, notify the court if you change jobs, etc. And that's pretty much boiler plate stuff – I can't imagine how hellish it might get if the parents slug it out in court.

  7. Barb

    I hope his ex wife gets to extract his wallet through his testicles.
    If this man would dick over his own kids why would anyone trust him enough to vote for him?

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        ouch that hurts, Dad really did it for my own good (at least that's what he said as they were poundin' the nails in?)

      2. Pristine_ODummy

        Hmm … well, it ain't Hitler, fershure. The monorchid never produced an heir (no, the Boyz from Brazil don't count).


    1. Lascauxcaveman

      If this man would dick over his own kids

      To Joe Walsh's kids: If you don't know this already, it's not about you, try not to take it personal. He's still just mad at your mom.

      – Note from a basically nice guy whose wife manages to really piss him off, occasionally, but usually just swallows his rage because he's trying to be the grownup in the room.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        Given that he's not paying child support, I bet the prick doesn't bother to remember their birthdays or holidays, or pick them up for a ball game, or any of those other things.

        There's a huge difference between having a rotten bitch for a co-parent and having some deadbeat prick like this who doesn't even bother with his own spawn. Those kids will feel that hurt all their lives. He's treating them like used cumrags.

  8. Mort_Sinclair

    And this asshole hasn't been pressured by the Democrats either in office or the Illinois state committee to resign why?? Why don't they take some of their fucking money and buy some TV ad time exposing this asshole hypocrite for what he is?? Oh….right…..they're Democrats. Never mind.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Forget the Democrats. This dick is so embarrassing, you'd think his own party would be trying to bury him. Oh, sorry, I'm so old I thought people still remembered when political parties had reputations to uphold.

      1. Mort_Sinclair

        If you are a grrrl of the Asbury Jukes vintage, then we are of the same,i.e., old. What a sound they had! Remember when they were opening act for the E Street Band….

        1. Jukesgrrl

          What a sound they STILL have. Bars and small theaters all over the NE, multiple dates at BB King's in NYC each year, Europe every autumn (where US blues-rock is still adored). They record a new CD almost every year, usually at generous John Bongiovi's home studio, for sale on their Website. Check out for free downloads. (Yes, I shill and they don't even pay me.)

  9. Indiepalin

    Midnight man, you're greedy, Midnight Man you're lame
    Midnight man, be careful
    Midnight man – for Christ's sake change your name

  10. Streiffert

    Joe Walsh sings to his kids

    "Welcome to the nearest homeless shelter..
    I could find you here
    Any time of year
    There's plenty of room at the nearest homeless shelter
    It's a mean surprise
    I don't have any alibis…"

    1. Negropolis

      And, ain't nothin' 'bout it in the Bible, neither. What would Muscular Jesus do? He'd tell that bitch to kill a cow and get to makin' some bootstraps, I'll tell you what.

  11. edgydrifter

    He's just eliminating funding for the Department of Joe Walsh's Children. In this economic climate, it's the fiscally prudent thing to do.

  12. JoshuaNorton

    Wingnut "Family values" has never been about taking care of your kids, it's about hating gay people.


    1. HelmutNewton

      That, and only caring about human DNA while in the fetus stage. After it's born, they don't give a shit about it.

  13. BarackMyWorld

    $100,000? That's $33,333.33 per kid. How long's he not be paying child support? Since they were born?

    1. fuflans

      nine years. here's a particularly (and deliberately) damning quote from one of the local pieces on him:

      an e-mail from Laura Walsh: “For almost 2½ years now I have been very patient about money you owe me for your share of the children’s expenses because I thought you were not working. Even last summer when I was out of work for a few months, I scraped to pay for medical and education-related expenses on my own."

      what an ass.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        That is horrible. Mom out of work, kids' *medical* expenses, and no $$ from Dad?

        That is fucking criminal. Kids die from failure to provide medical care. He was willing to put his own children's lives at risk? Off with his head.

    2. Pristine_ODummy

      Works out to about $4k per kid per year, which, if you've ever had to pay for kids, is really not very much at all. Hell, it would barely cover the basic essentials.

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      I hate to say it, but he's better looking. Van Susteren looks like a bulldog that ate the cat's poop out of the litterbox, and didn't like it.

  14. Goonemeritus

    As a corollary to the Ron Paul’s assertion that best way to help the poor out of poverty is to stop all assistance this brave Congressman is trying to help his children. If they develop a strong work ethic as toddlers they will be better prepared for latter life. I’m sure an honest day’s work selling match sticks or sorting rock from coal wouldn’t harm any child.

  15. ifthethunderdontgetya

    CF: I’ve read that you were a moderate, pro-choice Republican who became conservative because you saw an opening for a conservative.

    JW: In 1996 when I ran [for Congress] against [liberal Democrat] Sid Yates, I was a pro-choice Republican. And if you are a pro-choice Republican, you are called moderate, no matter where you stand on any other issue. I have always been very libertarian and very limited government. So on the fiscal side, there’s never been a change. On the social stuff, look when I ran in ’96 and ‘98 I was a huge gun guy. [Walsh ran unsuccessfully in 1998 against Democrat Jeffrey Schoenberg for a seat in the Illinois House of Representatives.] I’ve always been hardcore to the right. The only difference was that in ‘96 and ‘98 I was pro-choice on abortion.

    CF: What happened to change your mind?

    JW: About five, six, seven years of long arduous thought, prayer, research. In about 2003, I became pro-life without exception. I’ve never looked back. Rape, incest and health of the mother.

    Conclusion: Amoral, opportunistic douchebag.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "I have always been very libertarian and very limited government."

      Except where women's rights to their own bodies are concerned … then it's all government, all the time.

      With apologies to all bags used for actual douching, WHAT A DOUCHEBAG.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        Biely, help an old fart out. Tell me what you've got planned for this worthless blivet, because I am simmering with rage right now. Only contemplation of a horrible future for this miserable pigturd will calm me.

  16. fuflans

    man those (five) kids: mother's a pharmaceutical company employee, dad's a loud mouthed toolbagger who doesn't believe in social safety nets because they're not in the constitution.

    there's some serious therapy waiting in their wings.

  17. johnnyzhivago

    That legislation search site is fantastic – I'm definitely going to run for Congress and start pushing for every stupid ass thing I ever wanted – or people will pay me to push for:

    "The National Freedom Space Elevator Act of 2011"

    "The American Wildlife Nametag Act"

    "The Paint Every Traffic Line Green for St. Patricks Day Act"

    "The National Free French Wines for Congressmen Act"

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        An epicure, dining at Crewe
        Found quite a large mouse in the stew
        Said the waiter, "Don't shout
        And wave it about
        Or the rest will be wanting one too!"

        Where's MY Free Jetpack, dammit?

  18. mavenmaven

    Its in the constitution, in Real Merka women and colored folks are chattel and need to be taught their place, that's why he wants to take back Merka .

  19. fuflans

    also this tool was married TWICE?!?! WTF?

    that smile alone should be enough to make you run screaming.

  20. HelmutNewton

    Why should he just *give* money to his kids? Those ungrateful brats should earn that cash! Put 'em to work in a factory or harvesting crops! And tell 'em to stop bothering their old man! He's too busy sucking Koch and trying to destroy our economy!

  21. BlueStateLibel

    No snark, but why isn't this guy in jail? In Jersey the cops regularly round up these deadbeats and throw 'em in jail. I don't know if it's always fair, because we all know how easy it is for the average joe to get a job these days. But last I checked, congress critters like shit-heel Walsh are making over $200 grand.

    1. finallyhappy

      not like they have to run one of those stings- these guys show up for free football tickets/parties- and they can arrest them easily. It isn't like this guy is hiding

    2. Jukesgrrl

      The judge my mom worked for in Pennsylvania used to send these guys to the lock-up in handcuffs straight from the hearing if they had jobs and just weren't paying. 75% of the time is was their mothers who showed up to pay the bill and spring them from the slammer. As long as the arrears are brought up to date and the fees are paid, the court doesn't care if it's grandma's money. They had lots of serial offenders.

    3. Pristine_ODummy

      If you owe child support and lose your job, you can always go to court and get the order modified.

      This shitheel has already lost in court, and is continuing to break the law. He's a scofflaw and should be jailed IMMEDIATELY, no ifs ands or buts.

        1. mavenmaven

          OMG, most amazing bio ever:
          Fran Lagana-Brooks is a self-taught artist who now shares her talents and sensitivity with art students of all ages. In recent years she has received numerous awards including "First Place" and "Best of Show"… A print is scheduled to be displayed in the George Bush Presidential Library at Texas A&M University.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I'm partial to Santa and his hobo friend, talking to the angel in church.

        Hang that one up, and challenge your friends to find the symbolism in it. (My reading: Santa is out of hobo beans, and the Angel of Legumes has come to answer their prayers.)

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        I'm an Oldz, and I now hate you with a flaming passion, because either I did not remember that one, or I had successfully expunged the memory, and you have now caused a burning in my brain as this horrible, horrible piece reimplants itself.

        With a passion.

  22. donner_froh

    He had gotten a pass from paying child support for three years because he was barely employed.Then he loaned $35000 to his congressional campaign, a matter of public record.

    Stupid and craven–a winning combination.

  23. Guppy06

    Family values: check!
    Sacredness of marriage: check!
    Fiscal responsibility: check!

    Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found our 2012 nominee!

  24. magginkat

    What the hell does her income have to do with what that bird brain owes? I found "Wanted" poster templates on the internet and did a wanted poster of that tea bagging dead beat dad…. at present it's on Facebook but I think I am going to print it on post cards and start mailing them to him. It's not very good but a little remake will touch it up just right. Anyone and everyone please feel free to join me in this venture.

  25. fuflans

    i would like to believe that some or most of these tools will be tossed out in 2012.

    i am drinking of course, but i would still like to believe this.

  26. emmelemm

    I really hope this isn't the last post of the week, because I don't want to keep seeing this guy's smug, ridiculous, self-satisfied face all weekend.

      1. weejee

        The answer to that is likely in the last verse of the other Joe's tune.

        ♪♫ They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
        I keep on goin' guess I'll never know why
        Life's been good to me so far ♫♪

  27. Papa_Uniform

    Joe's kids are only his kids when he is married to their mom. After the divorce they belong to the mom and are no longer his responsibility. HIS kids are the ones he has with his current wife. Didn't you guys get the teabag memo?

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      Um … beg to differ on the "enormous turgid" part. More like a thin, wizened, shrunken, shriveled, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

  28. DianeKoch

    Cook County Court Records Online: Docket #: 2002D230912
    The documents demonstrate that he is doing everything he can not to take care of his children.

  29. GinnehRED57

    I went over there last night and was turned away at the door. Lady at the door said "Rep Walsh runs NOOOMerous town halls and welcomes everyone! Everyone! Republicans, Independents… others…"

    She could not bring herself to say the D word, so I said "I'm a Democrat."
    "Those too!", she said brightly.

    As I didn't think I'd argue successfully that my micro-business on Second Life's Marketplace was "reality based" enough for her to qualify for admittance to the Dicky Spouse Club, and there was a cop out front, I left. As I did, there were no less than 5 media trucks in the lot of the Prairie Arts Center, plus at least one radio guy doing a live remote in a back hallway.

    Walsh really loves the attention he gets! He even backed a bill, finally, for something! Israel or the Baby Jesus, I forget which. Or both.

  30. Negropolis

    The media should formally refer to him as "Dead-beat Dad Joe Walsh". Fuck this "Rep." shit. They can't get rid of his buck-toothed ass' district fast enough.

  31. Negropolis

    Needz moar male prostitute action.

    You guys need to get off this man's back. He's a job creator and retainer. Won't you think of the lawyers? Won't anyone think of the lawyers?! Everybody is somebody's child after all, right?

  32. lulzmonger

    So THAT's what it looks like when you slap a suit & tie on a turd.

    Sigh … if only there was a way to e-mail pernicious anemia.

  33. tessiee

    A modest request to the assembled multitudes of Wonkette:
    Can someone please come up with a short, snappy, memorable nickname for this guy — e.g., "the silver-haired douchebag" or "crusty fecal matter clinging to a single asshair" — so that I don't have to keep confusing him with the only acceptable ex-member of the Eagles?
    Thank you in advance for your consideration.

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