ATTENTION AT ANY COST  5:22 pm September 9, 2011

Joe Walsh Heroically Sues Ex-Wife Over Child Support Case

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Ladies, we hear he's single, but you might want to steer clear of this one.Let us sum up teabagger barbie Joe Walsh’s congressional accomplishments to date, because it’s an easy one: nothing. Joe Walsh is mostly the “if serial deadbeat Christine O’Donnell were actually elected” alternate universe equivalent of someone who miraculously got a job in Congress for blathering shrill, hypocritical nonsense on Fox News all the time as though that was his sole job description. (Sarah Palin has a lock on that spot, sorry.) In his case, we say “hypocritical” because the only thing Joe super hates more than “fiscal irresponsibility” is paying child support for his own kids. The intelligent human that Joe Walsh is not would try to settle immediately and make this embarrassing scandal go away, but Joe has decided to go the “maximum dickhead” route by filing a motion to sanction his ex-wife for her trouble and force her to pay his legal bills.

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Six days after the Sun-Times reported that Rep. Joe Walsh allegedly owes more than $100,000 in child support for three of his children, the McHenry Republican filed a motion seeking sanctions against his ex-wife.

Walsh’s attorneys sought the sanctions against Laura Walsh because they said she had not complied with their request in February to provide them voluminous documentation of her employment and salary records at pharmaceuticals manufacturer Eli Lilly as well as bank statements, tax returns and expense reports.

At that time, Joe Walsh’s attorneys had scheduled an April interview with Laura Walsh and said they needed the extensive documentation to prepare for it.

Laura Walsh’s attorney, Jack Coladarci, called that request “harassment” and said the issue was why Joe Walsh was not paying $117,000 of back child support and interest. Laura Walsh had no corresponding obligation to pay Joe Walsh any support, and so the extensive requests for documents were inappropriate, Coladarci said.

Sorry, Laura Walsh. Joe Walsh harasses the rest of the country with his idiot ploys for attention, too. We feel you. [Sun-Times]

 
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{ 247 comments }

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Walsh only supports fetuses, after that, they're on their own.

savethispatient September 9, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Ah, that's what personal responsibility means!

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Not to mention fiscal restraint.

WunkRocker September 9, 2011 at 6:35 pm

True, but his maserati does 185. I understand he is not able to drive it any more.

themcwow September 9, 2011 at 10:08 pm

You!!! Thanks for laffs.

mrpuma2u September 10, 2011 at 7:50 am

THIS is why he was too busy to attend Obama's job speach in DC. OK makes sense now. What a complete bastard of a tool this guy is.

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Needs more tort reform.

flamingpdog September 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Needz more turd reform.

SorosBot September 9, 2011 at 5:27 pm

At least he's being consistent; most Republicans only financially screw over other people's kids, Joe even does it to his own.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Git yer own danged bootstraps, son!

HistoriCat September 9, 2011 at 8:24 pm

He's the most Republicanest Republican of them all!

FlownOver September 9, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Is there an All-time Ultimate Shit-heel Award? If so, I move nominations cease and the secretary be directed to cast a unanimous ballot.

Doktor Zoom September 9, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Objection! There are too many richly deserving candidates!

SmutBoffin September 9, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Joe Walsh is his own fiscal and personal 9/11, and it was an inside job.

Please disregard if that makes no sense.

PsycWench September 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm

makes sense to me.

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Actually I think he's his kids' 9/11 and Joe's the one flying the plane.

mayor_quimby September 9, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Does it, to you?

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:36 am

You are so very bad in the very best of ways.

Please tell me that made sense.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Even if it didn't, I like it.

Would use again.

lulzmonger September 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

… & Laura Walsh is a victim of controlled demolition by lawyers.

x111e7thst September 9, 2011 at 5:33 pm

In the TeaTard paradise that Joe would like to bring about (Somalia) he could simply avail himself of a Second Amendment Remedy.

LesBontemps September 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm

I hate the fucking Eagles.

SorosBot September 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Their success proves that in 70s everyone was so high they couldn't tell good music from bad.

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Guilty as charged. I throw myself on the mercy of the court. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Probably true. Back when I was listening to them, the entire music scene was canned-pop shitawful. Later I discovered Frank Zappa (thankyougod), and redeemed my soul.

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:39 pm

As a Giants fan, I'm not too keen on them either.

LettucePrey September 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Well, I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens… I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you. Jerk off.

stew1 September 10, 2011 at 7:58 am

Their music went well with the California wife-swapping/freebase scene. Ya had to be there.

__kth__ September 10, 2011 at 10:39 am

Actually this Joe Walsh is becoming such an asshole legend that discussion threads about aging guitarist Joe Walsh are likely to contain references to teabagging and missed child support payments.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:33 pm

They're beautiful, majestic, graceful birds, and the symbol of Amerikkka.

Why do you hate Amerikkka?

Radiotherapy® September 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm

"Mommy, why is Daddy suing you?"

savethispatient September 9, 2011 at 6:12 pm

"Never mind, just eat your vegetables, otherwise you'll turn out like your father".

GunToting[Redacted] September 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

"Because daddy's a dick, honey."

Nostrildamus September 9, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Well, Honey, sometimes, when two people hate each other very, very much …

rickmaci September 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Now THAT would be one hella copy in an ad for a Dem opponent.

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:38 am

Joe's opponent's 2012 campaign slogan, right ther.

AlterNewt September 10, 2011 at 7:57 pm

"Mommy, why is Daddy suing you?"

"Sweetheart, remember our little game we play? 'Secrets'?"

"Uh huh."

"That's not really your daddy."

"Yaaaay!"

EatsBabyDingos September 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm

So he's on a fishing expedition. What kind of bait do you use to catch a douchbag?

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Santorum?

hollywooddood September 9, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Massengill?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Cash never fails. Never.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm

And Biely should know, having stolen many a man's* soul and faith.

*Wimmin and childrin also. Biely does not discriminate, for such a discriminating fellow.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 10, 2011 at 7:38 pm

To Rick Perry's probable dismay, ixnay on the idskay.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm

A Prince, I tellya.

Rarian Rakista September 11, 2011 at 7:09 am

Jello Shots.

Callyson September 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm

“He would rather hear from job creators as opposed to being used as a pawn by the president for a political speech,” Roth said. “He will meet with small business owners … He would love to come back to D.C. with four or five [job creation] ideas and present that to the president.”
Jobs:
1. Child support enforcement officer
2. Doctor, specializing in vasectomies
3. Child counselor for cruelly rejected children
4. Ghost writer for tell – all exposes by adult children about their upbringing
5. Joe Walsh's replacement in Congress

emmelemm September 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Bam. Nicely done.

G-d I hate this disgusting sack of shit. Where is the Republican "personal responsibility"? Your litle spermies made these sprog, now fucking support them already! Or – wait for it – they'll go on welfare! (OK, not if Mom works at Eli Lilly, but that's not the point.)

yrbmegr September 9, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Wow, did you skip the President's speech to come up with all that? Did you go to a tailgate party? Meet with small business owners (for drinks, coke, and hookers)?

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Thank you. I will tweet this to this godawful sack of shit, who should thank god every day that his testicles are nowhere near my legs, as he would be staggering bowlegged with his flattened balls otherwise. What a fucking prick. His own goddamned children!

Limeylizzie September 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

For some reason I despise this man more than almost any other Republican, excepting Bush/Cheney.

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Even Spiro T. Agnew?

FlownOver September 9, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Even.

RadioEnron9/11 September 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

And here I thought he was just another teabagger.

hollywooddood September 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Even Karl Rove?

Limeylizzie September 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

He's in a different league, the sub-human.

FlownOver September 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

[Swallows hard]

Even.

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm

i don't know. i think that, then i hear cantor say something and want to self immolate.

Tommmcattt September 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Cantor screams "Hate Fuck" to me for some reason.

I know, I know. But still…

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Oh, do it, Tommm, you know you want to. *

*sell tickets. Wonkeratti will buy.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Cheney "having a few beers" then shooting someone in the face actually offends me on a personal level as I have really low tolerance for morons mishandling guns.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2011 at 6:14 pm

How about Mormons mishandling guns?

That's the trouble with trying to sort out and rank GOP douchebaggery — there's just so much to choose from.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Mormons have to dress up like Native Americans prior to getting really dangerous with the guns.

FlownOver September 9, 2011 at 11:54 pm

ISWYDT

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Do your, um, quarters, ever get really crowded? I mean, what do you do when overcrowding happens? With all these candidates for one of your bashes, I mean, parties, I can't help but worry.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Space is not a problem. We have an outhouse the size of Texas.

starfanglednut September 9, 2011 at 6:22 pm

For me, it's John Yoo.

Papa_Uniform September 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm

I'm with you.

Radiotherapy® September 10, 2011 at 4:26 am

It's all legal Mr. Cheney.
Also, FUCK YOO.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:44 pm

John Yoo is definitely high on the GodawfulPrick list, but AFAIK, he's actually apparently a good husband and loving father. So, banality of evil a la Arendt.

This fucking prick is willing to let HIS OWN CHILDREN go without. That takes a special level of awful.

Nothingisamiss September 9, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Doug Feith? And def. John Yoo. And Rummy. Fucking hate fucking Donald Rumsfeld.

God, there really are a lot to hate. I had to winnow it down to just those.

Limeylizzie September 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Doug Feith is a total cunt, no doubt there.

ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Mmm, Inhofe, Gohmert, Steve King, Chambliss, Rumsfeld, Bolton, Wolfowitz, …..

Not-That-Joe Walsh is certainly a douchebag, but the competition is pretty intense.

HistoriCat September 9, 2011 at 8:29 pm

The difference is that for Walsh (insert ominous music) it's personal.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm

As bad as all those pricks are, and some of them are truly awful, not one of them has done the dirty to his own children. Bolton may be a wife-harrassing prick, but AFAIK, he's never been in defiance of a child support order, and even that miserable swine, Inhofe, loves his grandchildren.

Joe the Bagger is in a whole special category of evil.

Not_So_Much September 9, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Hmm, but the list of candidates is so long and distinguished — hard to pick just one.

But yes, he's a supreme douchcanoe.

Limeylizzie September 9, 2011 at 6:42 pm

I put them in two camps, the stupid and hateful and then the just downright evil.

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 6:51 pm

To be fair, Bush and Cheney took care of their kids.

Limeylizzie September 9, 2011 at 7:14 pm

You call that vile Liz Cheney a success?

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I thought of that right after I submitted…

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

That's not the issue, though. Yes, he's a prick, but he never denied his children food, shelter, or the lovingkindness of a parent, hard as it might be to envision that heartless old sacko'hate as anything "loving" or "kind." Both his daughters seem to love him dearly, and he certainly has always loved and supported them, and their children.

To deny your own children the wherewithal to survive takes a special kind of heartlessness. No matter what your feelings about your ex-partner, your children are your very own flesh and blood, the carriers of your name, your history, and your genetic heritage. We're wired to love our own and hate all others. Yet this lowly swine let his kids go without $100K worth of what all kids need, while he lived the high life. He's remarried, with more kids and a new wife. I'm sure they're just props and he'll discard them when he's done.

102415 September 11, 2011 at 1:28 am

Joe Walsh, worse than Dick Cheney.

finallyhappy September 9, 2011 at 7:17 pm

yeah, but they killed so many other people's kids. I hate reading the list of military killed each week- early 20's and younger.
Not to minimize the older members of the military who die-they are someone's kids too..

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm

But that's instinctive with human animals just as much as any other animal: we protect our own, we attack anyone else's. This prick can't even care for his OWN fucking children.

gurukalehuru September 10, 2011 at 3:42 am

Well, if you rule out the alcoholism

Rotundo_ September 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I guess I don't find him that far outside the normal parameters of republican behavior patterns. I think he's kind of pedestrian when compared to others in the party. Compare and contrast to Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, John Boener, they all are cut from the same shitty cloth, have the same ethics and the same malevolent outlook. Most republicans are a little more tender to their children, but it sounds like Joe here decided to trade up and the wife and children aren't too happy about that so there is a back and forth pissing match going on. I just really would not like to be him looking back on his existence at some point in the future with a nasty terminal illness, watching the karma rolling in as a big fucking wave. Dying sucks, dying with the sure knowledge that no one will give a shit will be an interesting experience for him, I'm sure

102415 September 11, 2011 at 1:31 am

Rudy Giuliani.

Sue4466 September 9, 2011 at 5:38 pm

What a dick.

arihaya September 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm

and typical Republicans too: he didn't care what was spawned by his dick

harry_palmer September 9, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Child support laws are just more government regulation. Let those kids get their lunch money on the free market.

CrunchyKnee September 9, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Jesus didn't pay no god-damned child s'port!!!111!!!!

Dashboard_Jesus September 10, 2011 at 1:01 am

hey now, I payed with BLOOD!

Texan_Bulldog September 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I surmise the reason he wants all of her documents & financial info is because he wants to pay the least amount possible. Father of the Fucking Year!

FlownOver September 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

[Snark-free]

Around these parts it doesn't matter. Even if Mom has a half-mil line of credit at Tiffany's Dad is still expected to make his own contribution based on his own ability. It's the curious, non-Republican notion that both parents should make a reasonable contribution to their dependents' (get it, Joe? Dependents!) best interests.

[We return you now to your regularly scheduled snark]

Geminisunmars September 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I love these Dads (and perhaps a small fraction of Moms too – just trying to be p.c. here) who would rather pay a lawyer than child support.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Nope. It is to stall and I would guess that it is also to hope the case disappears. Since he lost his license twice due to not wanting to be picked up over nonpayment of child support, there is a pattern of behavior here.

Texan_Bulldog September 9, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Thanks to you & FlownOver. Having never been through a divorce (knock on wood), I just naturally assumed the worst. Oh wait! He's still a dick!

HistoriCat September 9, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Yeah – I don't recommend the experience. I suppose if you don't have minor children the whole thing might be bearable but there's a bunch of irritating crap involved. Notify the court if you move, notify the court if you change jobs, etc. And that's pretty much boiler plate stuff – I can't imagine how hellish it might get if the parents slug it out in court.

Texan_Bulldog September 9, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Wow…it's like you're a felon. Sorry about your experience.

Barb September 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I hope his ex wife gets to extract his wallet through his testicles.
If this man would dick over his own kids why would anyone trust him enough to vote for him?

RadioEnron9/11 September 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm

You know who else tortured his only begotten son?

arihaya September 9, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Abraham?

Mumbletypeg September 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Whoever fathered that poor, poor boy named Sue

imissopus September 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm

And then come up and cut off a piece of his ear.

starfanglednut September 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Why are you picking onVan Gogh?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2011 at 6:19 pm
ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 6:31 pm

FTW. Gotta be the worst dad evah.

starfanglednut September 9, 2011 at 6:23 pm

WIN!

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:41 am

Barry Bond's dad?

Dashboard_Jesus September 10, 2011 at 1:03 am

ouch that hurts, Dad really did it for my own good (at least that's what he said as they were poundin' the nails in?)

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Hmm … well, it ain't Hitler, fershure. The monorchid never produced an heir (no, the Boyz from Brazil don't count).

Yahweh?

Lascauxcaveman September 9, 2011 at 6:48 pm

If this man would dick over his own kids

To Joe Walsh's kids: If you don't know this already, it's not about you, try not to take it personal. He's still just mad at your mom.

- Note from a basically nice guy whose wife manages to really piss him off, occasionally, but usually just swallows his rage because he's trying to be the grownup in the room.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Given that he's not paying child support, I bet the prick doesn't bother to remember their birthdays or holidays, or pick them up for a ball game, or any of those other things.

There's a huge difference between having a rotten bitch for a co-parent and having some deadbeat prick like this who doesn't even bother with his own spawn. Those kids will feel that hurt all their lives. He's treating them like used cumrags.

12X34X June 22, 2012 at 10:13 am

Seconded!

hollywooddood September 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Just fucking support your kids, shitbag.

Mort_Sinclair September 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

And this asshole hasn't been pressured by the Democrats either in office or the Illinois state committee to resign why?? Why don't they take some of their fucking money and buy some TV ad time exposing this asshole hypocrite for what he is?? Oh….right…..they're Democrats. Never mind.

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Forget the Democrats. This dick is so embarrassing, you'd think his own party would be trying to bury him. Oh, sorry, I'm so old I thought people still remembered when political parties had reputations to uphold.

Mort_Sinclair September 9, 2011 at 7:35 pm

If you are a grrrl of the Asbury Jukes vintage, then we are of the same,i.e., old. What a sound they had! Remember when they were opening act for the E Street Band….

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

What a sound they STILL have. Bars and small theaters all over the NE, multiple dates at BB King's in NYC each year, Europe every autumn (where US blues-rock is still adored). They record a new CD almost every year, usually at generous John Bongiovi's home studio, for sale on their Website. Check out http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ for free downloads. (Yes, I shill and they don't even pay me.)

RadioEnron9/11 September 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Wasn't there a movie about this called the The Parent Crap?

nounverb911 September 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Barb September 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Yuck.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Needs MOAR Lorena Bobbit ACTION!

mannacler September 9, 2011 at 5:43 pm

No snark today. Some things are just too easy.

Indiepalin September 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Midnight man, you're greedy, Midnight Man you're lame
Midnight man, be careful
Midnight man – for Christ's sake change your name

cheetojeebus September 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm

just looking at his picture my fuckingidiotdouchedar is screaming

EatsBabyDingos September 9, 2011 at 5:50 pm

"Bailiff, whack his pee pee"

Streiffert September 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Joe Walsh sings to his kids

"Welcome to the nearest homeless shelter..
I could find you here
Any time of year
There's plenty of room at the nearest homeless shelter
It's a mean surprise
I don't have any alibis…"

johnnyzhivago September 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Don't say nothing in the Constitution about no child support!

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:44 am

And, ain't nothin' 'bout it in the Bible, neither. What would Muscular Jesus do? He'd tell that bitch to kill a cow and get to makin' some bootstraps, I'll tell you what.

Mumbletypeg September 9, 2011 at 5:52 pm

This is good news for Michele Bachmann Overdrive, who were last seen brainstorming ideas for a fresher-faced drama queen to inspire their next name.

edgydrifter September 9, 2011 at 5:52 pm

He's just eliminating funding for the Department of Joe Walsh's Children. In this economic climate, it's the fiscally prudent thing to do.

JoshuaNorton September 9, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Wingnut "Family values" has never been about taking care of your kids, it's about hating gay people.

Duh!

HelmutNewton September 9, 2011 at 6:13 pm

That, and only caring about human DNA while in the fetus stage. After it's born, they don't give a shit about it.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:08 pm

And this doucheprick is the best possible illustration thereof.

yrbmegr September 9, 2011 at 6:59 pm

And don't forget telling everybody else to be responsible, so you can just not.

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 5:56 pm

$100,000? That's $33,333.33 per kid. How long's he not be paying child support? Since they were born?

ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm

My impression is that it's pretty much since the divorce, which was some years ago.

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 7:18 pm

nine years. here's a particularly (and deliberately) damning quote from one of the local pieces on him:

an e-mail from Laura Walsh: “For almost 2½ years now I have been very patient about money you owe me for your share of the children’s expenses because I thought you were not working. Even last summer when I was out of work for a few months, I scraped to pay for medical and education-related expenses on my own."

what an ass.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:10 pm

That is horrible. Mom out of work, kids' *medical* expenses, and no $$ from Dad?

That is fucking criminal. Kids die from failure to provide medical care. He was willing to put his own children's lives at risk? Off with his head.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Works out to about $4k per kid per year, which, if you've ever had to pay for kids, is really not very much at all. Hell, it would barely cover the basic essentials.

flamingpdog September 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Do us a favor, Joe Walsh, and ♪ just turn your shitty head and walk away. ♪

arihaya September 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm

shorter Joe Walsh: "are there no prison? are there no workhouse?"

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 5:58 pm
RadioEnron9/11 September 9, 2011 at 6:45 pm

The dickface subject of this post couldn't agree more.

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:37 pm

But apparently he doesn't think they need fathers.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 5:59 pm

What a scumbag.

johnnyzhivago September 9, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Surprised he didn't get in on this landmark legislation:

H.R. 849: Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act

NorthStarSpanx September 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Co-sponsor was right.there.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I think he'd be more enthusiastic about the Dimbulb Freedom of Choice Act.

johnnyzhivago September 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm

With the GOP Job Machine there should be no problem finding work for his kids…

MrFizzy September 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I think this guy is actually Greta van Susteren.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I hate to say it, but he's better looking. Van Susteren looks like a bulldog that ate the cat's poop out of the litterbox, and didn't like it.

Goonemeritus September 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm

As a corollary to the Ron Paul’s assertion that best way to help the poor out of poverty is to stop all assistance this brave Congressman is trying to help his children. If they develop a strong work ethic as toddlers they will be better prepared for latter life. I’m sure an honest day’s work selling match sticks or sorting rock from coal wouldn’t harm any child.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 9, 2011 at 6:06 pm

CF: I’ve read that you were a moderate, pro-choice Republican who became conservative because you saw an opening for a conservative.

JW: In 1996 when I ran [for Congress] against [liberal Democrat] Sid Yates, I was a pro-choice Republican. And if you are a pro-choice Republican, you are called moderate, no matter where you stand on any other issue. I have always been very libertarian and very limited government. So on the fiscal side, there’s never been a change. On the social stuff, look when I ran in ’96 and ‘98 I was a huge gun guy. [Walsh ran unsuccessfully in 1998 against Democrat Jeffrey Schoenberg for a seat in the Illinois House of Representatives.] I’ve always been hardcore to the right. The only difference was that in ‘96 and ‘98 I was pro-choice on abortion.

CF: What happened to change your mind?

JW: About five, six, seven years of long arduous thought, prayer, research. In about 2003, I became pro-life without exception. I’ve never looked back. Rape, incest and health of the mother.

Conclusion: Amoral, opportunistic douchebag.
~

johnnyzhivago September 9, 2011 at 6:11 pm

He may have a huge gun, but an interview with the press is hardly the right time to start boasting about the size of your dick.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 10, 2011 at 1:58 am

"I have always been very libertarian and very limited government."

Except where women's rights to their own bodies are concerned … then it's all government, all the time.

With apologies to all bags used for actual douching, WHAT A DOUCHEBAG.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Biely, help an old fart out. Tell me what you've got planned for this worthless blivet, because I am simmering with rage right now. Only contemplation of a horrible future for this miserable pigturd will calm me.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 10, 2011 at 7:35 pm

I did call him a douchebag — and I choose my words wisely.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 8:33 pm

I feel better already. You're a Prince.

HistoriCat September 10, 2011 at 7:58 am

Translation – I used to be pro-choice but it was hurting my political career.

metamarcisf September 9, 2011 at 6:08 pm

This guy is lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

Chet Kincaid September 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Dan Rather, is that you?

Nostrildamus September 9, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I think it was Jed Clampett.

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:50 am

Dr. Phil?

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 6:09 pm

man those (five) kids: mother's a pharmaceutical company employee, dad's a loud mouthed toolbagger who doesn't believe in social safety nets because they're not in the constitution.

there's some serious therapy waiting in their wings.

Chet Kincaid September 9, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Or a very arch Showtime series.

yrbmegr September 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Or just homicide.

flamingpdog September 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Hopefully in their right, uhhh, no, correct wings.

johnnyzhivago September 9, 2011 at 6:09 pm

That legislation search site is fantastic – I'm definitely going to run for Congress and start pushing for every stupid ass thing I ever wanted – or people will pay me to push for:

"The National Freedom Space Elevator Act of 2011"

"The American Wildlife Nametag Act"

"The Paint Every Traffic Line Green for St. Patricks Day Act"

"The National Free French Wines for Congressmen Act"

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Sign me up to support the "Free Jetpack for Jukesgrrl" legislation.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:18 pm

An epicure, dining at Crewe
Found quite a large mouse in the stew
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about
Or the rest will be wanting one too!"

Where's MY Free Jetpack, dammit?

Quayle2012_KNOT September 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

"The Emergency Duct Tape Sarah Palin's Gaping Maw Act."

mavenmaven September 9, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Its in the constitution, in Real Merka women and colored folks are chattel and need to be taught their place, that's why he wants to take back Merka .

starfanglednut September 9, 2011 at 6:28 pm

And don't forget the children; they're chattel too.

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 6:12 pm

also this tool was married TWICE?!?! WTF?

that smile alone should be enough to make you run screaming.

AlterNewt September 9, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Has this guy ever been interviewed by David Gregory?

Because that would be a disturbing sight.

pisstoff September 9, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Why not sue your kids for all the food you gave 'em while your at it dickhead.

HelmutNewton September 9, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Why should he just *give* money to his kids? Those ungrateful brats should earn that cash! Put 'em to work in a factory or harvesting crops! And tell 'em to stop bothering their old man! He's too busy sucking Koch and trying to destroy our economy!

ManchuCandidate September 9, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Won't someone tell Joe to think of the children?

BlueStateLibel September 9, 2011 at 6:22 pm

No snark, but why isn't this guy in jail? In Jersey the cops regularly round up these deadbeats and throw 'em in jail. I don't know if it's always fair, because we all know how easy it is for the average joe to get a job these days. But last I checked, congress critters like shit-heel Walsh are making over $200 grand.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Why do you think he did not get a driver's license renewal on at least two occasions?

finallyhappy September 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm

not like they have to run one of those stings- these guys show up for free football tickets/parties- and they can arrest them easily. It isn't like this guy is hiding

Jukesgrrl September 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm

The judge my mom worked for in Pennsylvania used to send these guys to the lock-up in handcuffs straight from the hearing if they had jobs and just weren't paying. 75% of the time is was their mothers who showed up to pay the bill and spring them from the slammer. As long as the arrears are brought up to date and the fees are paid, the court doesn't care if it's grandma's money. They had lots of serial offenders.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:20 pm

If you owe child support and lose your job, you can always go to court and get the order modified.

This shitheel has already lost in court, and is continuing to break the law. He's a scofflaw and should be jailed IMMEDIATELY, no ifs ands or buts.

SmutBoffin September 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm
ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Oh, Jesus……

Geminisunmars September 9, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Oh, Christ. Oh, Chris……

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 6:46 pm

…oh Santa!

ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 7:14 pm

What'r you, dyslexic?

mavenmaven September 9, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Wow, do you know anything about the artist? This is beyond classic!
And then, there's this http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilyrides/486689397

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm

world trade center jesus wasn't so helpful was he*?

* with apologies to ken layne.

SmutBoffin September 10, 2011 at 12:40 am

Huh, there's more.

mavenmaven September 12, 2011 at 8:21 am

OMG, most amazing bio ever:
Fran Lagana-Brooks is a self-taught artist who now shares her talents and sensitivity with art students of all ages. In recent years she has received numerous awards including "First Place" and "Best of Show"… A print is scheduled to be displayed in the George Bush Presidential Library at Texas A&M University.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm

This is amazing – it's like Jesus has two giant, offset rectangular boners.

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 7:19 pm

this is just fantastic. i need to buy this.

weejee September 9, 2011 at 8:10 pm

For $50???

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2011 at 9:28 pm

I'm partial to Santa and his hobo friend, talking to the angel in church.

Hang that one up, and challenge your friends to find the symbolism in it. (My reading: Santa is out of hobo beans, and the Angel of Legumes has come to answer their prayers.)

flamingpdog September 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

I guess you got to be one of the oldz to remember this one, one I'm sure would cause the teatards to explode their skulls.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I'm an Oldz, and I now hate you with a flaming passion, because either I did not remember that one, or I had successfully expunged the memory, and you have now caused a burning in my brain as this horrible, horrible piece reimplants itself.

With a passion.

I_Am_Katydid September 9, 2011 at 8:22 pm

That's just sad.

BlueStateLibel September 9, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Have to wash my eyes out with Clorax now, thx.

glamourdammerung September 9, 2011 at 6:26 pm

I still want to know how this is President Obama's fault.

Geminisunmars September 9, 2011 at 6:40 pm

If you just don't see it, there is no point in trying to explain it to you.

bflrtsplk September 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Well, Obama is you know uh … OK let's not go there.

finallyhappy September 9, 2011 at 7:25 pm

just say it- Obama is black- so it is his fault

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Near?

ShaveTheWhales September 9, 2011 at 7:15 pm

It's the reflectivity/absorbtivity ratio, doncha know?

weejee September 9, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Black body radiation, too, also.

donner_froh September 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

He had gotten a pass from paying child support for three years because he was barely employed.Then he loaned $35000 to his congressional campaign, a matter of public record.

Stupid and craven–a winning combination.

arcadesproject September 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Oh that Joe Walsh. He duh man. Not.

Guppy06 September 9, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Family values: check!
Sacredness of marriage: check!
Fiscal responsibility: check!

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found our 2012 nominee!

Thedongsofwar September 9, 2011 at 6:41 pm

A free market solution to being responsible for your children!

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 9, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Are all Republicans either divorced or beards?

yrbmegr September 9, 2011 at 7:03 pm

No, just evil.

PuckStopsHere September 10, 2011 at 12:46 am

Uh, yes?

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:29 pm

How did you know?

Beowoof September 9, 2011 at 7:16 pm

This is a teabagger snake that needs to be stomped on. Tread on him.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm

With both feet. In hobnailed boots. Extra points for slicing off that hideous head with a shovel.

magginkat September 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm

What the hell does her income have to do with what that bird brain owes? I found "Wanted" poster templates on the internet and did a wanted poster of that tea bagging dead beat dad…. at present it's on Facebook but I think I am going to print it on post cards and start mailing them to him. It's not very good but a little remake will touch it up just right. Anyone and everyone please feel free to join me in this venture.
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150268

fuflans September 9, 2011 at 7:31 pm

i would like to believe that some or most of these tools will be tossed out in 2012.

i am drinking of course, but i would still like to believe this.

buffalogal September 9, 2011 at 10:19 pm

… let's drink to that.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I did and now I'm fuckin' hungover as all get out.

emmelemm September 9, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I really hope this isn't the last post of the week, because I don't want to keep seeing this guy's smug, ridiculous, self-satisfied face all weekend.

finallyhappy September 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I sent in a tip about a guy smuggling cocaine in clams at Dulles-I'm not betting on seeing it

flamingpdog September 9, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Prolly depends on how fiscally responsible Ken is feeling this weekend.

weejee September 9, 2011 at 8:15 pm

The answer to that is likely in the last verse of the other Joe's tune.

♪♫ They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
I keep on goin' guess I'll never know why
Life's been good to me so far ♫♪

Papa_Uniform September 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Joe's kids are only his kids when he is married to their mom. After the divorce they belong to the mom and are no longer his responsibility. HIS kids are the ones he has with his current wife. Didn't you guys get the teabag memo?

Tommmcattt September 9, 2011 at 8:51 pm

This man is an enormous, turgid, aubergine cawk.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Um … beg to differ on the "enormous turgid" part. More like a thin, wizened, shrunken, shriveled, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

ttommyunger September 9, 2011 at 8:54 pm

It is written all over his idiotic face: "Hey, I give a really good blowjob!"

DianeKoch September 9, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Cook County Court Records Online: Docket #: 2002D230912
The documents demonstrate that he is doing everything he can not to take care of his children.

fitley September 9, 2011 at 10:00 pm

LOO HOO HOO HOO SEEERRRRR. LOSER

GinnehRED57 September 9, 2011 at 10:18 pm

I went over there last night and was turned away at the door. Lady at the door said "Rep Walsh runs NOOOMerous town halls and welcomes everyone! Everyone! Republicans, Independents… others…"

She could not bring herself to say the D word, so I said "I'm a Democrat."
"Those too!", she said brightly.

As I didn't think I'd argue successfully that my micro-business on Second Life's Marketplace was "reality based" enough for her to qualify for admittance to the Dicky Spouse Club, and there was a cop out front, I left. As I did, there were no less than 5 media trucks in the lot of the Prairie Arts Center, plus at least one radio guy doing a live remote in a back hallway.

Walsh really loves the attention he gets! He even backed a bill, finally, for something! Israel or the Baby Jesus, I forget which. Or both.

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:23 am

The media should formally refer to him as "Dead-beat Dad Joe Walsh". Fuck this "Rep." shit. They can't get rid of his buck-toothed ass' district fast enough.

Negropolis September 10, 2011 at 12:35 am

Needz moar male prostitute action.

You guys need to get off this man's back. He's a job creator and retainer. Won't you think of the lawyers? Won't anyone think of the lawyers?! Everybody is somebody's child after all, right?

unclejeems September 10, 2011 at 1:27 am

Tommmcat's right. He does look like an eggplant.

LowProfileinGA September 10, 2011 at 9:30 am

"Show me where in the Constitution it mentions Child Support," Joe Walsh did not say.

Quayle2012_KNOT September 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

TeaZombie Joe Walsh Must Experience Negative Patient Care Outcome!

Quayle2012_KNOT September 10, 2011 at 10:36 am

Anyone notice you've never seen Joe Walsh and David Duke in the same room? Curious, innit?

lulzmonger September 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

So THAT's what it looks like when you slap a suit & tie on a turd.

Sigh … if only there was a way to e-mail pernicious anemia.

BZ1 September 10, 2011 at 2:25 pm

…he's been married twice? who in their right mind would.. oh, forget it…

horsedreamer_1 September 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Larry Clark treated his Kids better than this.

tihond September 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm

+1 Natural One

tessiee September 10, 2011 at 10:47 pm

A modest request to the assembled multitudes of Wonkette:
Can someone please come up with a short, snappy, memorable nickname for this guy — e.g., "the silver-haired douchebag" or "crusty fecal matter clinging to a single asshair" — so that I don't have to keep confusing him with the only acceptable ex-member of the Eagles?
Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Quayle2012_KNOT September 10, 2011 at 10:34 am

Joe is so low, whales shit on his head.

Pristine_ODummy September 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Without intending to.

horsedreamer_1 September 10, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Mountain Meadows is about heritage, not hate.

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