JERBS JERBS JERBS  8:45 pm September 8, 2011

Hot Video of Obama Making Fake Promises and GOP Talking Points

by Ken Layne

The deficit is ... fascinating.Did you miss Obama’s big speech about how America is the Number One country in terms of vitriol, idiocy, obesity and unemployment? Well you will want to savor it, the way an out-of-work man savors the Honor of a president diligently working to, uh, destroy health and environmental regulations while, uh, reducing the federal deficit.

Oh wait, is that not it? Happy 45th Birthday, Star Trek! And Happy Third or Fifth Term to Bush Junior or Clinton or both, we guess. LET’S REFORM WELFARE OR SOMETHING, fucking poors ….

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 107 comments }

Blendergoathead September 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm

No Teabaggers freaked out and shit themselves. Next.

memzilla September 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Well, at least Joe Wilson STFU'd for this Obama speech.

Maman September 8, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Is he out of the hospital?

DarwinianDemon September 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Perhaps he cut his vocal chords out like in that one episode of the Twilight Zone.

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Weren't most of the real assholes playing hooky? Or maybe they were watching football on their (not so) smart phones.

Texan_Bulldog September 8, 2011 at 8:27 pm

So THAT'S what Uhura & Spock's love child would have looked like!

I thought Barry rocked it tonight–but I've had a few adult beverages.

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I've only had infant beverages, and I still thought Barry rocked it.

So, is it true that Uhura and Spock were Barry's REAL parents, and he IS an alien after all, although from a different planet?

Nothingisamiss September 8, 2011 at 11:49 pm

He did rock it. Ken's pretty much right about everything, but Barry rocked it. Gawd….let's hope he keeps going. I loved it.

AznMom420 September 10, 2011 at 5:07 am

Visualize the name Uhura Obama, then journey there on my funkadelic mothership.

red_kira September 10, 2011 at 11:26 pm

He rocked it. It was good. Fingers crossed. (And how pathetic is THAT?)

x111e7thst September 8, 2011 at 8:28 pm

You LIE!11!1

Beetagger September 8, 2011 at 8:28 pm

I'd better learn how to build bridges… Jesus needs reliable transportation for the second coming.

BarackMyWorld September 8, 2011 at 8:29 pm

He's dead, Jim.

Come here a minute September 8, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Reminds me of President Clinton's health care speech. That one really fired me up.

HolyCow!! September 8, 2011 at 8:30 pm

I can only hear Kirk screaming, Kahn! Except, I think it's con in this case.

MOG2410 September 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Beeping and flashing.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm

I'd feel better if I hadn't watched Elliott Spitzer on Countdown. If he can't have any political fun, he doesn't want any of the rest to have any, either.

BarackMyWorld September 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Spitzer on Countdown? Wow…the fall continues…

fuflans September 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm

That boulder is too large. I could life a smaller one.

</nerd>

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Back in the '60s styrofoam was a godsend, not an environomental hazard. LOTS of styrofoam boulders on the original Star Trek.

Weenus299 September 9, 2011 at 9:47 am

And Shatnerian tinnitus resulting from stage explosions.

johnnyzhivago September 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I welcome our new Vulcan overlords.

ThundercatHo September 8, 2011 at 9:19 pm

That would be the best possible outcome. Is the prototype warp engine ready to go or do we need to wait for WWIII?

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 8:35 pm

I never noticed it before, but the Gorn does a real good John McCain imitation. HENGGH!!

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Now that you mention it …

johnnyzhivago September 8, 2011 at 8:35 pm

I'm more impressed with Romney's plan to build a "jobs machine".

Chichikovovich September 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Well, if the gubbment would just get the hell out of the way John Galt could build his perpetual motion machine. But no, Obummer and his Demonrats won't give up their so-called "Laws" of "Thermodynamics".

KenLayIsAlive September 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm

That sounds patentable.

El Pinche September 8, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Where's the powerpoint?

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:19 pm

dunno. With mMost Republican jobs machines you put good 'Murican jobs in the top and you get little Chinese, albeit very shiny, jobs outa the bottom.

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 10:59 pm

I don't think you heard him right. I think he meant "Job machine," as in the Bible. You know, something to make you suffer as you are reduced to a lifetime of poverty and scraping your sores with potsherds and that kinda stuff.

Sparky_McGruff September 9, 2011 at 8:20 am

Why am I so tempted to say "Hey, Mitt! I've got a jobs machine right here! In my pants!"

Trinket September 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm

I dunno, I liked it. Either the repubs will have to go along with it, and it will work, and Obama will look good by election time, or they'll vote against it, and the dems can yell "Repubs don't want you to have a job!" until election time.

KenLayIsAlive September 8, 2011 at 8:46 pm

He can do that, or he can do what he's always done, which is to set up some grand scheme, and then back peddle until all that remains is a feeble, worthless, right wing bill.

I'm not being a downer and saying he will do that, but I am saying:

Which is it going to be, Mr. President? We're watching really closely.

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Hence my new avatar.

io9k9s September 9, 2011 at 1:45 am

Well I'll be a downer, becasuse it's all tied up in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded and the pitch count at 0-3. Mr. President, on the mound, has been shrugging off his catcher, Congressional Dems, all night – so even if he doesn't tip his pitch (like he has been doing since Day Fucking One) – Dems is pulling a Crash Davis just to say I told you so – and really who can blame them. We are screwed.

red_kira September 10, 2011 at 11:28 pm

fingerscrossedfingerscrossedfingerscrossedfingerscrossed……

finallyhappy September 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm

wow, Obama turned Boner brown- browner than the Prez!

OC_Surf_Serf September 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm

I dunno if its my cheapo monitor or the tasty weed but Biden, Barry, and Boehner sure had the hues of some Neapolitan ice cream…

voodooeconomics September 8, 2011 at 9:00 pm

it was the weed

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Were you seeing them in, like, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry? Because that's just the weed talking.

BlueStateLibel September 8, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Hm, Kirk kind of runs like a girl, doesn't he? Not anymore though I suppose.

finallyhappy September 8, 2011 at 9:49 pm

He is really fat now- and an asshole- but I understand from people who knew him and know him- he always was

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 11:01 pm

These days, he can barely waddle.

Mort_Sinclair September 8, 2011 at 8:51 pm

This country could use a little Jim Kirk right about now.

Texan_Bulldog September 8, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Khan!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sorry, kind of a Star Trek geek–but only the original; could care less about the new generations, etc.)

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Hey, me too.

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:21 pm

This country could use a LOT more Uhura! Hubba hubba!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 8, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I think Michelle is a more than adequate replacement.

MinAgain September 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

I'd vote Kirk/Spock in 2012.

Chillwaver September 8, 2011 at 8:57 pm

New name for Teabaggers: Trekkkies.

ThundercatHo September 8, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Sorry Chill, but Star Trek is way to cerebral for those shitbags. Hell, the Beverly Hillbillies probably makes them all go blasting holes in their backyards. Why do you think Jethro is the new GOP frontrunner?

Texan_Bulldog September 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Agreed. Those assholes cannot have Star Trek. Give them Kate Plus 8 or some shit.

starfanglednut September 9, 2011 at 1:16 pm

KKKate Plus ?

Chillwaver September 8, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Oh, crap…I guess you've got a point. Besides, come to think of it, my old man is a fan as well. There has to be at least a shitty si-fy channel show we can name them after…

Biel_ze_Bubba September 8, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Even the shittiest Sci-Fi is way too cerebral. Unless you want to assign them the role of a particularly boorish species, like Morlocks.

MinAgain September 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

"You are not of the body. Landru! Landru!"

MinAgain. Star Trek geek since 1971.

jus_wonderin September 9, 2011 at 11:57 am

"Risk! Risk is our business! That's what the starship is all about! That's…why…we're…a..board..her!"

Since '71 here as well.

Sharkey September 8, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Hello people? Master Thespian? Yall don't get the joke?

BklynIlluminati September 8, 2011 at 8:59 pm

If the R's balk on this he should hammer them every they on every network every press release, just keep repeating the mantra of see they don't want to help just be obstructionists they want the ship to go down. Beat that shit like a drum

Nothingisamiss September 8, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Please, Obama, please. For godsakes!!!

SayItWithWookies September 8, 2011 at 9:03 pm

I'm not watching that video if it's just a human fighting against a slow, brain-damaged but disproportionately strong venomous freak in a lizard suit.

I might watch the Star Trek video, though.

FlownOver September 8, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Barry ♥s jerbs! Who knew?

Negropolis September 8, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Klassy, Ken. You know, shitting all over Kirsten's liveblog like that.

Limeylizzie September 8, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Ken is a secret Firedoglake fan.

smitallica September 8, 2011 at 9:27 pm

If he's not a stereotypical Angry Black Man® by now, he truly is Spock. Cuz these teabag motherfuckers make me want to punch everything I see.

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 11:03 pm

No matter how angry you might be, if you're not white, you learn to keep that shit to yourself right soon, unless you *wanna* get your ass beat and thrown in the local hoosegow … repeatedly.

ThundercatHo September 8, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Is this like one of those terrorist how-to videos on how to make gunpowder? I don't know how appropriate it is to show this on the 9/11 anniversary. Next thing you know TSA is gonna be checking us for hollow logs, rocks and colored powders.

MiniMencken September 8, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Well, I guess I voted for the Republican Presdential candidate in 2008, after all.

Texan_Bulldog September 8, 2011 at 9:34 pm

I think you're looking for the party down the hall–dailykos.com. Give the dude a break!

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 9:43 pm

I listened to Kos, and he sounded like he was saying the same old thing about not asking for enough in the first place, yada, yada. He missed the political challenge in the speech.

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Sam Seder just had a couple of excerpts from FDR and Huey Long speeches. I heard the "challenge" in O's speech, but those guys in the past challenged, challenged again, then drove it home with a 2×4 just to make sure you were paying attention. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we are fast approaching the day when any subtlety is useless, and speaking strongly with a very big stick is the only appropriate approach.

twaingirl September 8, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Left is right
right is left
war is peace (forever)

Callyson September 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Oh, and regarding Senator Diapers' complaint about missing his Saints party? Green Bay is up 21 – 7 in the 2nd quarter. Never mind that I'm from Pittsburgh: tonight, we are all Packers fans…

BarackMyWorld September 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm

PRIORITIES!

RavenRant September 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Aren't the Packers run as a coop? Socializms!

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Diaperman is probably more interested in the Saints' potty than his Saints' party anyhow.

twaingirl September 8, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Man, Biden looks so serious. Probably on focusing on keeping his mouth shut.

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Bet he keeps thinking about how he's the poorest man in the Senate.

politics_nerd September 8, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I havent seen the speech, nor did I watch the Nos debate yesterday. That having been said, how about these fuckin Packers!?

TanzbodenKoenig September 8, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Damn poors; GET A JERB

Spurning Beer September 8, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Are thee Vulcan, or are thee human?

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Art thou …

BarackMyWorld September 9, 2011 at 12:18 am

You're going to go and make me look up the original episode he's quoting, aren't you?

Pristine_ODummy September 9, 2011 at 12:39 am

Just being difficult. It's my core competency.

Spurning Beer September 9, 2011 at 8:30 am

from the captioning log:

It is said …
thy Vulcan blood is thin.
Are thee Vulcan …
or are thee human?

Prissy, I assume your core competency here is in Elizabethan English or some such, not Vulcan or its rendering into TV English, which seems to be more like Quaker plain speaking than the KJB.

Or are you saying that being difficult is your core competency? If so, I grieve with thee. (T'Pao, Amok Time)

┼čenol balaban September 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

hi god post admin :)

┼čenol balaban
http://sahinnparadisegelenekselramazancoskusu.net

KenLayIsAlive September 10, 2011 at 3:52 am

I don't know what kind of crazy virus I just got, but it was worth it.

proudgrampa September 8, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Dilithium crystals, Mr. President. We need more dilithium crystals.

owhatever September 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm

The Republicans will respond "fat chance," and my President will cave because we got no power down here, Captain.

Warpde September 8, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here.

Doktor Zoom September 8, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Captain Oh-BAHHHH-Mah…sssurrender now…I will be quick…and merssssiful!

Mitch McGornal

Soylent Green September 9, 2011 at 1:46 am

i always thought he looked, acted, and sounded like ST Voyager's Tuvok. indeed.

jus_wonderin September 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Sometimes, I wish he was Borg.

Hmmm. Sounds Swedish.

mavenmaven September 9, 2011 at 1:52 am

Tomorrow Palin or Perry will say some stupid reactionary thing and this will all be forgotten by the commentators and pundits.

KenLayIsAlive September 10, 2011 at 3:51 am

Worse yet, it looks like some phoney terror attack is what pushed it off. No wonder Obama wanted to do the speech earlier. Oh, but he got bullied into moving it. Derp.

powersuit September 9, 2011 at 9:00 am

That's a nice wetsuit Gorn is wearing. Maybe I can borrow it for my next race.

When the prez was entering the chamber before the speech, I kept hoping he would turn around and lay a roundhouse on Eric Cantor's face. That would have been sweet!

Nopantsmcgee September 9, 2011 at 9:39 am

He didn't ask for compromise! He really didn't! I'm so happy !

Chet Kincaid September 9, 2011 at 9:55 am

Hey Trekkies, are the really stupid episodes still Canon?

jus_wonderin September 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I believe in the new timeline "All that you knew is gone."

- Guardian of Forever, after McCoy changes the timeline

MinAgain September 9, 2011 at 11:44 am

Live long and prosper, Wonkette!

LiveToServeYa September 10, 2011 at 8:26 am

'Perspire', you mean.

ttommyunger September 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Don't know about Star Trek, but I feel like I've been living in the Twilight Zone for the last ten years.

Pristine_ODummy September 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

Being difficult, of course, Spurning.

It's such a delight watching the nerds whip out this … dialogue, though. It's been ages since I've actually watched the series.

jus_wonderin September 9, 2011 at 12:05 pm

"My friend is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears. They're actually easy to explain."

Pristine_ODummy September 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

We could start one, if it's not too difficult.

Spurning Beer September 9, 2011 at 8:18 pm

T'Pao is one of the most wonderful characters in all of fiction, I feel.

Talk nerdy to me, Pristine.

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