TAXES TAXES TAXES RONALD REAGAN  2:35 pm September 8, 2011

The Entire Republican Debate In 45 Seconds of Video

by Ken Layne


Did they miss anything? Thanks to whoever suffered through two hours of GOP debate video to find the only word and the only name that matters. [BuzzFeed via @stevesilberman]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 117 comments }

DaSandman September 8, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Like a post apocalyptic puppet show put on by a group of terminal meth addicts…

littlebigdaddy September 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Who wants to tax a guy who's been dead for ten years?

Lucidamente1 September 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Death tax, baby!

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 9:50 pm

If it's Reagan, I'd love to.

Come to think of it, tax all the rich dead fux. Maybe then their useless brats will have to *work* for a living, and develop some appreciation of how much life sux for the rest of us most days.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 8, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Yes!

But I predicted this.

(Obviously, Republican Jesus is Reagan.)
~

Doktor Zoom September 8, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Did that really need to be so long?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 8, 2011 at 4:55 pm

That's 45 seconds of my life that I'll never get back.

ProgressiveInga September 8, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Needs moar "ten minutes to Wapner". Definitely.

Lucidamente1 September 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Well, all of them did go full retard.

SorosBot September 8, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I'm confused; do they want to cut taxes, or do they want to emulate Reagan and raise them?

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:00 pm

If I have this right, they want to raise Reagan's taxes.

Negropolis September 9, 2011 at 12:18 am

Yes.

HobbesEvilTwin September 8, 2011 at 2:45 pm

they FORGOT 9/11 !!!!!

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 2:52 pm

They want YOU to forget the two Republican presidents since Reagan.

Dr_Zoidberg September 8, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Exactly!!! I often wonder at the lack of mention that Bush and Shrub get from the GOPers.

GregComlish September 8, 2011 at 5:41 pm

That was preordained the microsecond Obama caught Bin Laden

Negropolis September 9, 2011 at 12:18 am

And Poland, the bastards!

kissawookiee September 8, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Not a single noun or verb connected to 9/11?

Dr_Zoidberg September 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

What a bunch of losers.

Negropolis September 9, 2011 at 12:19 am

9/11 is so 2001…until September 11th every year since.

LabRodent September 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Obama, Socialist, Reagan, God, Terrorist, Not-Black, Rich, Not-Gay, (see I just summed it up for those folks that did not watch)

justkillmenow September 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I was in class last night, thank Gods, and didn't have to watch this cluster. The big questions for me: Was Nancy there? If so, was she able to stay awake and upright? Did her red suit match or clash with the stage? These are the things that really matter.

freakishlywrong September 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

She was. But I think they've stuffed her and just drag out and prop her up at these things.

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 3:14 pm

The Ron and Nancy memories video was the only part of the clusterfuck last night that I just had to mute, for the sake of my poor brain. And my intestinal tract.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I'm glad I didn't wake up until that shit was done.

Walkinwiddaking September 8, 2011 at 6:22 pm
baconzgood September 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

You know GOP….Reagan really wasn't a very good president.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 8, 2011 at 2:50 pm

By current GOP standars, he was a liberal Socialist. Probably a Muslim, also.

102415 September 8, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Even as a zombie he was a fucking genius compared to these ass wipes.

anniegetyerfun September 8, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I long for someone in politics to come out and say this outloud. Just be, all, "Reagan was a disaster of a leader, and anyone who thinks otherwise has a selective imagination. Bill Clinton was a MUCH better Republicn president than Reagan was, hands-down."

MOG2410 September 8, 2011 at 3:21 pm

He was a GOD and don't you forget it. Or at least that's what these guys seem to think.

genxr September 8, 2011 at 3:39 pm

He gave good speeches. With a teleprompter.

slithytoves September 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Thanks for the summary – I had about forty bazillion better things to do last night and I wasn't drinking.

freakishlywrong September 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I don't think my sound on my pc is working. All I hear is and endless loop of Yakkity Sax .

Maman September 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

They forgot to include the "I created more jobs" hunks.

johnnyzhivago September 8, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Here's my full employment / deficit elimination plan: close all schools in the US and implement forced home schooling. This would take a huge number of people out of the workforce – thus jobs for anyone who wants one. We'll actually be ASKING Mexicans to come here.

College would be replaced by watching enough hours of educational television (history majors: History Channel; economics: Fox Business News; engineers: The Science Channel)

genxr September 8, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Political Science majors can watch Ow My Balls.

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm

American Political Science majors can watch Cartoon Network.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Sociology majors would watch Trinity Broadcasting.

AJWjr. September 8, 2011 at 7:08 pm

SCIENCE IS ONLY A THEORY!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I'm just surprised how often the phrase "Praise be to Allah, and to Mohammad his prophet" came up.

DerrickWildcat September 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm

This is a good song.

Chillwaver September 8, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Needs moar autotune.

PhilippePetain September 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Oooooh, not a bad idea…

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Could be Rebecca Black's next hit.

SayItWithWookies September 8, 2011 at 2:52 pm

This almost makes them look reasonable.

RadioEnron9/11 September 8, 2011 at 2:53 pm

999, Ponzi scheme, "We left the magnet on."
Oh, and the rousing cheer for the Executioner.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I caught the show too late to get the 999 code. Happily for me.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 8, 2011 at 2:54 pm

If there was a debate with a member of the Republican Party, and they were forbidden from using the words "taxes" or "Ronald Reagan," would there be a sound?

Pragmatist2 September 8, 2011 at 2:55 pm

9/11

Sharkey September 8, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Fart noises.

Pragmatist2 September 8, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I was moved almost to tears – but I vomited instead.

Chichikovovich September 8, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Pretty good summary, but it's missing something…. what could it be…
I know! "Execution".

Monsieur_Grumpe September 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Next time:
Tax, tax, Reagan, taxcut, jobs and tax tax, tax.
Yes there is a difference.

102415 September 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I thought the most important word was nitrous oxide and the only name I heard was Ponzi.

Tommmcattt September 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Way too long, Ken. If it came in under a millisecond I might be tempted to click on it.

ManchuCandidate September 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I've gotten more entertainment watching the monkey house at the San Diego zoo as the conversation wasn't always about feces throwing and who's got the bigger penis.

AlterNewt September 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Would watch again.

Chichikovovich September 8, 2011 at 2:59 pm

OK, this is ridiculous. I've been trying to post for a week now, and not one of over a dozen submissions has been approved. And nothing controversial or trollish. What do I need to do?
Trucknutz! needz moar buttsechs!
OK, how about now?

Goonemeritus September 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

That was good but I wish they would have paid more homage to Reagan and brought up the issue of taxes.

YouBetcha September 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I had a taxgasm. But not until Bachmann. She's the one who put me over the edge.

SmutBoffin September 8, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Ronald who? Oh, yeah. That dude whose ape-frottage was filmed and released as Ronnie's Monkey Takedown aka Bedtime for Bonzo.

nappyduggs September 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Needs more Alex P. Keaton.

genxr September 8, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Especially the episode where he took amphetamines.

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm

And the episode where Rush Limpballs made fun of him.

PhilippePetain September 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

TAX ZOMBIE REAGAN DO IT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS TAX HIM

tihond September 8, 2011 at 3:41 pm

That's what I got from the video too. "TAX REAGAN!"

petehammer September 8, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Rentboy, rentboy, rentboy, muslim socialist, muslim socialist, rentboy, rentboy, rentboy, muslim socialist.

Muslim socialist! Rentboy, rentboy.

(Note: Bachmann did not ask for a rentboy, as this is the duty of the husband… or so she has been told).

Sharkey September 8, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Hitler!

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Set it to muzak and it could be yet another hit for Rebecca Black.

HistoriCat September 8, 2011 at 3:07 pm

The man has been dead for years – stop taxing Ronald Reagan! On the plus side, that should make a great ring-tone.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 8, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Wait, was this part of the drinking game???

lowaltflier September 8, 2011 at 3:11 pm

You forgot Obamacare.

Geminisunmars September 8, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Perry is my guy. He is burning down the Taxes. (that is how you spell it, isn't it?)

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Homescholed much?

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Read my lips – no more Texas!

Sharkey September 8, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Santorum.

Santorum, Santorum, Santorum.

Toomush_Infer September 8, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I just met a douche named…?

CrunchyKnee September 8, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Place a 120 BPM track behind that and you'd have the worse techo tune ever.

tihond September 8, 2011 at 3:54 pm

"Tax Reagan" could be the "James Brown is dead" of the teens.

Come here a minute September 8, 2011 at 3:21 pm

They've solved the deficit "crisis"!! Just rename taxes to "Reagans", and the wingers will want to pay MORE. Grover Norquist will be crushed!

genxr September 8, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Grover Norquist will be "Reaganed"

KeepFnThatChicken September 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm

What? No "T"?

KeepFnThatChicken September 8, 2011 at 3:24 pm

badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

elviouslyqueer September 8, 2011 at 3:54 pm

wet spot, wet spot, flour, flour, wet spot, zombie, SCARY BLACK MAN, flour, wet spot, gay buttsecks, GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH SHUT UP SHUT UP, wet spot, wet spot.

jus_wonderin September 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Spoon!!!!

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Did having eight participants make this qualify as a mass debate?

GunToting[Redacted] September 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I see what you did there.

Warpde September 8, 2011 at 3:30 pm

"Thanks to whoever suffered through two hours of GOP debate. "
Please send donations to the American Mental Health Association in lue of flowers.

WhatTheHeck September 8, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Way more annoying than that song: “I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…”

OneDollarJuana September 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm

I don't know. That song is mighty irritating.

jus_wonderin September 8, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Ain't no sunshine, when she's gone.

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Ain't no sunshine where she's* going.

*Marcus

Toomush_Infer September 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm

And she's always gone…

SheriffRoscoe September 8, 2011 at 3:35 pm

It's a drinking game, for those who prefer to chug alcohol.

GunToting[Redacted] September 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Or for those who prefer cerebral edema.

DustBowlBlues September 8, 2011 at 4:34 pm

If people had been playing a drinking game seriously, they'd die of alcohol poisoning. Just canonize the fucking zombie and get over, Repubtards.

weejee September 8, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Why are they all pleading "tax us"?

JoshuaNorton September 8, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Oh Lordy. Most of those dipwads qualify for handicapped parking.

zappadoo76 September 8, 2011 at 3:57 pm

This is the big news: Ron Paul Debate: Rick Perry Physically Grabs Him, Points at His Face. This happened during a commercial break. The link has a pic.

gurukalehuru September 8, 2011 at 4:09 pm

OMG – Rick Perry combines the worst traits of George Bush and Lyndon Johnson

fuflans September 8, 2011 at 4:14 pm

blowhard.

Steverino247 September 8, 2011 at 4:16 pm

With a Vengeance?

elviouslyqueer September 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Hey, how'd you know that was Rick Perry's nickname, bestowed on him by all the fine male prostitutes working Congress Avenue in Austin?

Sharkey September 8, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Blingee contest anyone?

zappadoo76 September 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm

That's Ron Paul's bodyguard on the left, with his hand on the lectern.

flamingpdog September 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Aw, he's just checking Ron Paul's pulse rate and asking him how many fingers he sees. As crazy as Ron was last night, I'd check to see if he'd been drinking, too. Also.

Toomush_Infer September 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm

PHOTO CAP: "From now on, you 'sit' when I tell you to 'sit'….."

fuflans September 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

where are the jobs?

jus_wonderin September 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I didn't watch. Did they all ladle on heaping helpings of FEAR?? Because they ain't real Conservatives unless they can scare us.

lochnessmonster September 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Gingrich is with Reagan? Why don't they just resurrect him already?

Fare la Volpe September 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

According to Newt, the "Ronald Reagan Technique" is a single hooked finger. Interpret as you will.

Porter Melmoth September 8, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Inarguable proof that Ronald Reagan = Taxes.

MinAgain September 8, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Huntsman got a whole two sentences?!? Someone has a crush.

Pristine_ODummy September 8, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Well, at least we've established that these dumbfux don't want to tax Ronald Reagan.

For this I gave up scraping out my navel lint?

Negropolis September 9, 2011 at 12:25 am

Needz more "Social Security is a monstrous lie." and "Obama is an abject liar."

ttommyunger September 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Tax libel!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: