Diaperman David Vitter sent this bizarre, victimized email to our inbox explaining to the negative four people who care that he will not be able to host a Saints football game in Louisiana because of Harry Reid being a horrible tool who forces him to do his job occasionally. David Vitter is so mad he will even get out his ALL CAPS and his street talkin’, because football. Ain’t no Washington fool gonna pen in David Vitter. You feel him, prez? Whatever, that’s whack, he still knows WHO DAT.Â
David Vitter don’t have time fo’ this nonsense, he gots to be back in his crib. Haha, “crib.” Okay, that one would sort of make sense. David Vitter, stop talking to everyone like they are your prostitutes. [David Vitter's Spam List]
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Imagine forcing a United States Senator to be present at a certain time and place in order to cast a vote.
Kenyan anti-colonialist mentality at its worst.
I mean just because they got 1 month off to fuck around on vacation. Mofo Reid wants him to spend all his time doing what he's paid for. Sheeeeeeit.
Beeotch!
I believe this is offending his delicate LA sensibilities.
'fighting for our future' means something different in LA i guess.
It does. It means "Diaper up and pass the Tabasco(tm)!"
Sounds like someone needs a diaper change.
Or a Huggie.
~
Over his face as that seems where most of the poop is coming out.
Probably had one scheduled for this evening and has been pounding spicy cajun food for days in anticipation. Now his timing, and sexxy fun good times, is all fucked up.
Vitter E-mail translated to baby-talk: Whaaaaaaaaaaaa, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whaaaaaaaaaaaaa,
Yep, poopypants, it's all a left-wing conspiracy to deprive you of a football-watching party. I'm sure you're the only poor soul who has to work when they'd rather be watching the game at home. The Congressional schedule is just brutal! I mean, you were only in session, what, two days this week? Perhaps we could tighten up the old budgetary belt by paying you fools an hourly rate.
Fly in Tuesday, meet Wednesday, fly out Thursday. Brutal! Luckily they all, probably even the locals, have reserved spots within easy walking distance of the terminals at IAD and DCA. You'll recognize them when you hump your bag in from Lot W.
I think Lot W is actually in my apartment complex.
Yes because football is more important than, you know, your job.
Well, in his defense the NFL does keep the black unemployment rate down a point or two.
And I have heard that the NFL and some coke will get hookers all fired up.
So, has Vittor actually ever done anything during his time in Congress? Honest question.
He's done some hookers.
Depends.
And this is why Nevada has no NFL team.
But we had the most awesomest XFL team!
I have an XML team.
What are you, some elitist with a jerb or something?
If only Obama had agreed to give his speech yesterday… lousy democrats, they hate sports!
Then they'd argue he was trying to distract from those Eight Men Out (Michele can count as a Black Sox) trying to field questions one expects in a debate for us to judge whether they should occupy the White House. Does EVERY question to GOP candidates count as a "gotcha."
So is "Saint's Game Party" what they call a diaper-wearing-hooker-fest where you literally get away with murdering the people who expose you and somehow still remain a Senator, these days?
WHO SHAT.
So now what's he supposed to do with that case of Pampers?
"Dem biyotches in the DC gon' wish dey nevah fucked DIS up!"
Sounds like a lot of money to spend to go see your team get slapped around.
Does Wonkette have a new super-secret intern named "Piyush" or is that what Vitter calls everyone he doesn't know?
It's 'Bobby' Jindal's real name. What could he and Vitter be plotting at this party?
Oh well, looks like his wife will have to have the party on her own. Just as long as she has chips who cares if there is no dipshit there?
Wife? No, he's mad that he already paid the escort service.
"Pens in those who would have skipped speech, like me."
If only Harry Reid would put you in a pen, like those folks that violated Dubya's "free speech zones". And I ain't talkin' about no playpen for diaper babies, mo'fo'!
"Pen" must be jive for "Depends™".
Sucks to be someone who HAS a job, right Vitter? And to have to cancel your party to listen to the President talk about maybe trying to get some fucking jobs for the rest of Americans who probably care a bit more about whether they'll be able to continue feeding their kids and living indoors than whether the Saints go to the SuperBowl.
I love this SO MUCH, Sue. Now with your permission, I'm going to copy it verbatim and post it on every. single. newspaper. website. in Louisiana.
Glad to help. Go'head. Every time I think about this dick whining, I get a whole new level of pissed off. And what really pisses me off is that so many fucking people think the GOP is on the side of "jus' folks" cause they fall for that bullshit Sarah Palin shtick.
That ain't jive, that's scat.
This isn't going to get nearly the upfisting it deserves. Well done.
I saw what you did there, genius.
Cat scat…
Patsy!
I'm speechless. Maybe the cleverest thing I've read for months.
[And really, literally speechless. Because the moderators aren't approving anything I post, probably including this exercise in futility.]
Egad, this dude is still in office & yet Weiner had to go because he … what did he do again? I vaguely remember it wasn't illegal and no bodily contact was ever made and no one went to jail….totally slips my mind. Good thing Vitter is a Republican.
Dat be family values, yo.
I THINK that that is how Vitter might put it.
Senator Vitter sure is lucky that missing a football game is his biggest problem. A lot of people in the country are worried about unemployment or flooding, but I guess Louisiana is doing fine.
Why isn't PoopyPants² in prison, where he belongs?
WHY?
² AKA Dave the Shitter
~
They would never have convicted him. You know, "If it's covered in shit, you gotta acquit."
aka ShittyVitty, on the NOLA blogs.
Thank goodness I was wearing my CubicleHuggiez™. That post made me shit my pants.
Huggies or Pampers, David?
Harry Reid is a "Dirty Birds" fan? What does that mean? And should Vitter ever talk about "Dirty" anything? Makes me think of diapers.
I don't see why Harry would be a falcons fan, I think he is going to the hated rival well instead of accusing him of loving the queer 49ers.
It's his party and he'll cry if he wants to.
And drop his pacifier. And scream and throw a tantrum and get his head stuck in the bars of his crib.
And poop his didies.
Sounds to me like Dave is a bad sulky boy who needs a spanking.
No, he'd enjoy that way too much.
I would blame the NFL. They shouldn't be scheduling games on school nights.
Hey dis ya boi David, fightin' for our future an shit, yo.
Haven't these lazy tools been off on vacation for like, a month? How about we make your Senate seat a casualty of "Washington partisanship"? Worthless fucker.
I thought the Republicans were all about putting the lazy and shiftless to work.
Except when its a republican actually asked to show up to his job.
Fix'd!
Thanked and also upfisted.
Nit: should add ^^ not-white not-rich ^^ between "lazy" and "and."
Does anyone here speak Jive?
Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don' wan' no help, chump don' git no help. Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow….
HO DAT?!?
I'll be there… his wife asked me to come… and again.
Meh, it pays well and she is always very thankful…
She's probably just happy you clean up after yourself.
"Saints game party at home." Vitter uses the phrase twice–is it code for something?
"Sai
ntsgame party at homeo."Sai, gae party homo?
fixed?
Dammit, he had some whores lined up… Oh well, another BJ in the office.
One thing you wouldn't want to do at one of Vitter's luxury box parties at the Superdome is get between him and the herd of lobbyists angling to get close enough to suck his cock.
David Vitter can suck my big, black dick.
Oh how I wish that were true, in any way, shape or form.
Hey!! Loan out your own equipment!
Oh, Lizzie! If you could arrange the victim, place, and time, I could arrange handcuffs, a ballgag, and a big black strap-on for you.
We could sell the film for MILLIONS!
Dave's not here, man.
Not after hearing that, anywho.
I don't even know what "my Who Dat resolve" means, or references, or anything. It's gibberish to me.
Which means David Vitter is hipper than I am. Sigh.
Means he's a Saints fan, my nigga. Keepin' it real. And so forth.
Back in my day, you whippersnappers, when Wilbur Marshall was playing for Florida, the defense had a cheer, it went "who dat, who dat, who dat say Gator D can't jam." I presume there is some Saints variant.
I think it come from years, decades of losing… when they finally started to win ('cuz of Drew Brees primarily)… they wondered… "Who Dat?"
I believe it comes from the saying "Who dat dere dat say dey can beat dem Saints?"
Which, if you think about it, explains very little.
You lie! Wilber Marshall was conceived in the mind of Mike Ditka, and born in Soldier Field on a bright September Sunday morn!
Maybe they should tell him there will be an execution and free snacks provided. Apparently, wingnuts will show up in droves for that kind of shit.
Someone needs a spanking…and wasn't Harry Reid a boxer at one point? I'll pay to see the Reid – Vitter match, stat…
Reid was a boxer, Vitter is a panty.
I love Harry Reid for doing this, just saw that vile bastard, Joe Not an Eagle Walsh blathering on about how Hopey has diminshed the Presidency.
No chance of punching him in the nuts, dear girl?
Strangely enough, when I see Vitter write "pens in" I can't help but read it as "penis". Must be subliminal.
Ah, yeah, that was my thought too.
Whoops, did I say party? I meant Town Hall meeting. Yesiree, a Town Hall meeting in my Skybox.
Bring your $15…
NFL openers and the Super Bowl should be national federal holidays.
with no mail delivery
Yes, because I'm sure all the people who live in refrigerator boxes want to enjoy the game on their 60-inch flat screens in peace.
You mad, bro?
Jelly.
What the hell is WHO DAT resolve? Is it somthing you clean your upholstery with?
David Vitter cant tell you if his life Depends on it. He just hears the po' and brown folk say it and makes him seem as though he's a regular Joe. Y'know, "street".
I think the guy who feigned mental illness to get special needs caregivers to change his diapers as a way to get off is hotter than Vitter. And more Senatorial.
Government nerd question — is this his official email or his campaign email?
Well DAT what you get for not inviting Harry to your parta's.
Bet Diaperman was looking forward to the Cialis commercials.
He's gotta get back to Louisiana…those hookers aren't going to kill themselves…
Proof of party over country.
From the man who invented potty over cuntry.
WTF?
Harry Reid is a party pooper.
Ah, no, that would be ShittyVitty.
You have to understand, an NFL game is the one time that Sen. Vitter gets to see black people, other than when he orders one up from his madam.
That Vitter – he's so whack!
Guess when he doesn't get Pampered enough he starts to sound Vitter.
He just needs some Huggies.
Is Piyush a new jam band?
I wish someone would jam Piyush "Bobby" Jindal into a band. Of steel.
Douchebag is douche-y.
Pass the Douche-y on the left hand side…
Nice thing about being a diaper fetishist: the bon temps can roulez around in your pants for quite some time before funtime starts and "Nanny" gets to say WHO DAT!
or WHO SCAT!?
No. You're just making it too easy.
Oh, all right.
Or, WHO SHAT?
Honestly Senator — go ahead and stay the fuck home.
Harry Reid once again attacking small business. This under-publicized "NFL" is trying to get a little media exposure to push their unknown product to the American public and Obama and the Democrats are trying to keep them down.
And Vitter deserves to be pampered…. and powdered and put down for a nap.
But only after his little bottom has been spanked to a bright crimson.
Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say dey gonna change my pampers?
This should come as no surprise – Vitter got his start in politics at a very young age, campaigning against the assignment of homework on nights when "very special episodes" of Saved by the Bell were scheduled.
Shorter diaperman: it's all about me-me-me-me-me.
Instead of Harry Reid, you might want to look at the NFL, for scheduling a game on a Thursday for some reason; football is supposed to be on a Sunday, and then you'd have no problem.
Yeah, god forbid you fucking be obliged to go to fucking work instead of a fucking football party, you fucking baby. The rest of us (the ones who are lucky, at least) have to fucking show up to work too, you know.
Fuck you.
Sincerely,
The American people.
Vitter will be too busy creating (sex worker) jobs to attend.
Is this the same Vitter who used to call the DC Madam during senate votes? I guess voting just isn't fun anymore.
He's coming off a month-long vacation, right? He's back for 2 days, and now he wants MORE time off? To watch a fucking football game? Love to see him try that shit if he was working in the real world…"Sorry, boss, I can't make that meeting because I scheduled a football party for that day."
Wanna see what a Saints watching party looks like at Vitter's place?
Seriously.
http://www.bestofneworleans.com/blogofneworleans/...
wow, that's almost sad to look at. I can't help but giggle.
Wow. Coke AND Diet Coke. Dat's off da hook!
I still can't figure out why Vitter is pretending to be a Saints fan, when he lives in fucking Metairie, for God's sake. I mean, the only reason why Metairie even exists is because whites needed a place to live after all the filthy blacks took over NOLA.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/7/2...
FTMFW!!
If his duty is just too heavy a load for him to carry, then it's time for a change.
That Piyush guy must be the top. They can't both be bottoms can they?
OT but Tamron Hall is so hot today, she has amazing shoes on.
I always rose early back when she was doing the local morning show in Chicago.
I bet you did, that woman is so gorgeous, she has amazing skin and eyes. Just beautiful in a really aesthetic way, I could look at her all day long.
God, he looks so fat in that photo. Was Vitter always that fat, or is his head just expanding because he's holding in his feces until he can get with a hooker again?
Plyush?
Tell me more.
Who's ready for some
jobs legislationfootball?!!I call bullshit!
Piyush? Never!
Very entertaining, though.
Good one, Harry! (For once.)
Creating Jobs!! Someone has to cater this white bread, diaper-fest! Oh and take out the trash also… too.
"Who Dat" is some kind of New Orleans/Saints Fan code, and besides, white folks and cajuns from Louisiana sound vaguely "urban" anyway, which is why God tried to destroy the general area.
I cringe when I hear my younger lily-white sister from Napa say it, too. And she used to be such a genteel 9ers fan…
Not a serious football fan, but now….
Go Packers!
Next Vitter thought: "And what if the Texas wildfires spread to Louisiana?!?!?! That would be a huge tragedy because the smoke might interfere with the receivers' ability to see the football. Note to self — call Ricky Perry and ask him how to stop those fires."
Damn, I used to like the Saints. Now the thought of cheering for them makes me feel skeevy.
Who dat say 'who dat' when I say 'who dat'?
Oh. Vitter. Think he means 'who shat?'
i cannot believe this senatorial boil is still on the ass of congress.
Wish I had Fridays off like PoopyPants thinks he does.
Go ahead, whoremonger, skip the vote. Please? I'll be here in NOLA in the black and gold and I would rather have your moronic voice here than in Washington where you can do more damage.
David says he's sorry, but doing his job was not part of the deal. Hookers, diapers and football … putting America back to work.
I'm sorry, but I have quite a few people in and from Louisiana; there are no deep thinkers in that group; thus, continued representation by the David Vitter type. That's just the way it rolls.
I wish. Just a geek with geeky friends.
I mean, I did have a job, oncet.
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