Did we somehow forget to post a collection of comical photographs/photoshops of Rick Perry performing fellatio on a corn dog, for America? Well now is the time, so gather Grandma and the neighbors around the ‘puter and get ready to meet your Next President, the Last President of the Late Great (?) United States of America, Handsome Boy Modeling School graduate Rick Perry!
Whistlin’ dixie with the dixie cup filled. With the barbecue sauce and the dental floss chill.
He could suck the chrome off a pair of, uh, chrome truck nutz.
Manipulator of crowds, you’re a dream twister.
You’re going to Sodom and Gomorrah.
But what do you care? Ain’t nobody there would want to marry your sister.
Thanks to everybody who keeps sending these to us! Thanks, really! Now we have them all!
{ 124 comments }
Christ, Rick, you're only supposed to bite it, not suck it all down and tickle the balls. Must be a habit for him.
He looks so…so…natural doing that.
Almost as if he's been doing it … forever.
He sure likes those Koch's.
I am going to hang these up… might help me lose that last 10 pounds.
Marcus throws support behind Perry in 3…2…
HA! I said "behind!"
'Tain't just support, but hey.
HA! I said "Taint!"
Rick looks like he knows how to Pound a Perry
Into a Dingleperry.
I will never, ever eat a hot dog or sausage again…
I'm worried Santorum is gonna feel a litle left out.
Emphasis on little.
That comment is so totally bigoted against him.
There will always be a little something left behind for Santorum to clean up.
Wouldn't want to be the janitor cleaning up after the debate for any amount of money in the world….
He can always bring his Santorum Peach Jelly to the party.
Extra whipped cream.
Whip it! Whip it till it's frothy.
Ungh ungh!
Photoshop this into yesterday's Nancy Grace photo and you have the end of fucking civilization on your hands.
But would it be inappropriate to call the critters boobs "Pound Puppies?"
More like six-pound puppies.
MC Esher just appeared to spin in his grave but it was an illusion.
btw should i sterilize this spork before i dig my eyes out?
With pure cocaine. It'll cut the pain, too.
Rick's a horn dog for porn dogs.
Ever notice how all the interracial porn dogs are golden brown?
Everybody knows brown corn dogs are much bigger.
Well, even the brown ones are pink on the inside…
He's not a groupie — he's a band date.
And no sex with the band members! Just blowjobs.
This is just practice for what he's going to do to Ronald Reagan's mummified and inflated member at tonight's debate.
Tain't nothing.
Perry got his start swallowing swords down at the Texas A & M freakshow….
ha. what happens in the Corps of Cadets dorms stays in the Corps of Cadets dorms.
and A&M does burn an enormous "makeshift phallus" every year.
i'm sure they have that drinkin' while buildin' and engineerin' thing straightened out by now.
T'aint what you do; it's the taint that you're doing.
I'll skip the photos of the banana eating contest.
When he is Leader of The Free World, he will send thunderbolts out of his fingertips to singe the eyelashes of whoever had the gall to post these devil worshipper's fapping material.
That boy could give Kortney some lessons. Sumbitch!
Ya know how somethings just look at home in someones mouth. Hellooooo Ricky.
Oh, how I hope tonight is a true Perry pounding — this country may deserve another "Dubya", but I don't want to see it!
Make it rain, Rick!
Looks like that's not his first corn dog, if you know what I mean.
Where's that one .gif with Michele and Rick that swirls around and around? That shit is scary.
Holy crap that top image of Rick and Michele is the most disturbing faux-porn picture I've seen in my entire life. Excuse me while I bleach my brain.
You know where that dawg was before they put in their mouths, right?
I know, right? The expression on Michele's face… Save me!
Oh… fucking gross!
I bet Ricky likes his corn dogs all the way down to the tater tots.
God, what terrible technique. Everyone knows the tip is the best part. And the most sensitive – if you don't approach it just right, you get hot (dog) liquid squirting all over.
Okay, I'll shut up now before even I start questioning my sexuality.
Better be mayo. If you get mustard or ketchup squirting, you're doing it wrong.
What, no socialist firemen corndogs?
To paraphrase Freud:
"Sometimes a corndog is just a corndog"
This time is not one of them.
Congrats, Rick, on mastering the whole "less teeth, more gums" rule of knobslobbing.
I know a gal, she works on The Hill.
She won't do it but her rival will,
When he boogie,
He do the Corn Dog boogie.
Well now boogie Guvner Ricky,
Boogie woogie all night long.
Blow your top blow your top blow your top.
It's corndogs all the way down.
Watch it, Rick! I told you–NO TEETH!
After that display, I can see why Zeus is raining hellfire upon Texas.
Ahhhhhh yes, this is my Wonkette.
Ouroboros forever! Ken Layne is my hero. Thanks for the alt text.
Ken Layne just saved my life.
It really is a dog eat dog world.
It really is a dog eat dog world
It really is a dick eat dick world. /fixed
For Tea Party Freedumb!!
You know who else could swallow a foot long?
Marcus Bachmann?
Larry Craig, with a really wide stance?
Jared from Subway?
Eva Braun?
Linda Lovelace?
Debbie, of Dallas?
Kortney?
All of the Palins, regardless of gender?
My wife?
Win!
Liberace?
Nancy Reagan had quite the reputation!
Oh God, I am terrified that: a) Rick Perry WILL be our next President and b) I will lose the desire to ever perform oral sex again.
Just wait for Michele to be caught munching a fish taco.
Just avoid that one food item, Lizzie: Wedding Cake.
As in “Don't get married”?…too late, but it hasn't lessened my oral proclivities one iota.
Screw Sara Benincasa* – your are now my goddess, Limeylizzie!
*although that's not a bad idea, either.
You are a rare catch. Goodonya!
Wait, that's not mustard on his face. …
I'd rather see him doing squats on a fire hydrant.
As Freud would have said sometimes a corndog is just a corndog. I will say however I don’t think you would have caught Adlai Stevenson eating one on camera.
If he expects to get the vegan vote, he's going to have to do that to a cucumber.
Kortney 2012!
That bitch with the shades (his "wife"?!) looks like she's taking frekin' notes this guy is so good.
Practice makes perfect!
Sarah Palin only eats corndogs with a knife and a fork in classy New York City restaurants, like Papaya King…
Wow. And with that, you made me miss NYC where I haven't lived in 15 years.
you can't see it in the pics, but the corndogs give him a snooki-bump.
Needs more Rick Perry deep-throating corn dogs. (I can never be satisfied)
Just ughhh….why don't these dumb asses ever eat a damn onion ring or hamburger?
Adam wishes he were that hung.
Long Corn Dong
Rick and Michele sharing Dong Dog chores gives me a sexy feeling I never got from Hillary and Barack sharing chocolate donuts. What gives?
Sweet zombie Jesus, that's going to give me nightmares.
Check out the whirling one (link in Mapmonger's comment)!
Ken, ya done good. This article is almost as cruel, tasteless and crude as some of the shit coming from the Koch Think-Tanks (Otherwise known as Septic Tanks). Keep up the bad work. My motto is: if they come with fists, use clubs. Clubs use knives. Knives, use guns. Lets get down in the gutter with them and make them squeal and cry like the little girls they are.
u make little girls squeal and cry? I thought it was just me…
Great minds do run together.
I 8 1 2
Ana Marie Cox could do it. Alex Pareene could do it. Even Riley Waggaman could do it. But Ken Layne – a burned out blog editor who draws all life-forms in his vicinity into a deep well of despair – cannot stop making posts on Wonkette. If you're still posting many months after you've announced you've quit, you either weren't ready, or you're morally weak. Jack Stuef knew what to do when he looked in the mirror and found himself morally lacking.
Jack Stuef, we barely knew him. Can I make a Trig comment here????
"MISSLE KRUSHER DONGLE."
–J. Stuef, retard
It'd be Palinesque to quit now.
"Ana Marie Cox could do it"'
We are talking about assfucking, right?
You, sir, have won the Internet.
I hear Huffington Post has a couple thousand openings for commenters.
WIN
HuffPo is the WalMart of the liberal blogosphere.
Now that's art!
The corndogging just gets better if it spins: http://remainingeye.com/post/9031106510
I thought they took art classes out of the schools. Guess the kidz are learning to be artists on their own.
OT, but I thought you should all know that I just read an affadavit in a child custody case in which one party states that they disagree with the other parent's decision to have the child given medication for "assburgers."
Then again, maybe that isn't OT at all.
What are they prescribing for that these days? Fries?
Thanks, now I have to go rinse my eyes out with Clorax.
I doubt he's that good at it in real life.
The trick is to do a Google image search for "GOP Corndog"
That's some fine googlin'.
Hey is this the Rick Perry Dick Sucking Ha Ha Ha Museum? Where can I get a seat? Oh, thanks! Yep….yep…yep..he's sure doing a number on those "corn dogs". Hmmm. Strangely I feel aroused. Uh oh. Ahem. Which way to the "Bachmann's Husband Pray The Gay Away Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle Arboretum"?
Probably not a good time to ask if Ricky ever read Mark Leyner's "Tooth Imprints on a Corndog."
both of my grandmas are dead and – after seeing this perry pictogram – i am not sorry.
Isn't the big question why, in the picture above the creation of man, is Hitler standing beside Gov. Perry?
Are you trying to seduce us, Mr. Perry?
Adam had pretty good hair, too.
someone needs to make the first pic bigger…and have a gif of marcus Rising in the back…looking all hot and bothered then disappearing again only to reappear doing the same thing over and over and over again…
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