THAT'S LIKE 20 DINNERS AT OLIVE GARDEN  2:14 pm September 7, 2011

Obama Preparing ‘Jobs Plan’ To Give $961.04 To Each American

by Ken Layne

Ha ha, you won't really get 980 dollars at all.According to somebody who telephoned CNN, Barack Obama’s jobs plan will involve somehow spending $300 billion because of tax cuts, and then people will have jobs again. No really this is what the article says. That’s $961.04 for every man, woman, transgender and child in America! Happy days are here again! Nine-hundred-and-sixty-one dollars! Enough for rent this month, plus some rice-a-roni!

CNN reports:

President Barack Obama is preparing to roll out a roughly $300 billion plan to strengthen the shaky economy and stimulate new job growth, according to Democratic sources. The plan would be paid for partly by closing corporate loopholes and raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans in the future, a Democrat familiar with the plan told CNN.

The president is expected to unveil his plan — focused partly on new infrastructure spending and targeted tax cuts — during an address Thursday evening to a joint session of Congress.

Sources added that by tomorrow night, in anticipation of Republican opposition, Obama will have reduced his “jobs plan” to nothing but a $300 billion tax cut for the richest hundred people in America. [CNN]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 152 comments }

WunkRocker September 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Gimme gimme Gimme, I need some more. Gimme gimme gimme, don't ask what for.

johnnymeatworth September 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

I gotta be on time
Just to collect my reward
I gotta stand in line
Makes me feel so fucking bored

Buzzer sounds, gotta move
Feet move, legs move, hands move, brain moves….
Real slow

Crank_Tango September 7, 2011 at 2:41 pm

you know i'm gonna go out, get something for my head
if i keep on doing this, I'm gonna end up dead

WunkRocker September 7, 2011 at 3:16 pm

haha, sing it boys, do it again…

Barb September 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Lordy, we're having biscuits with dinner tonight! Thanks Barry!

Oblios_Cap September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

you can have chicken, but it'll have to be the 2-piece dark meat basket.

MrFizzy September 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Too late Barry! We're already fucked because we don't do anything well besides produce porn, we have a government that would have to improve to be merely bad, and China has a billion people who are willing to work for practically nothing. Oh, and half the country takes people like Michele Bachmann seriously. Seriously.

Ken Layne September 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

As Tom Scocca says in his very good new book about Beijing, China has one-point-THREE billion, which means the rounding error is as big as our entire population.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:40 pm

It's down to 9% for BatShitKrayKrayMann now.

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 3:41 pm

On the contrary, we don't make good porn any more, as nobody in the US has the physique for it.

MrFizzy September 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

LOL. I heard there are two people in Portland who aren't too obese to be photographed nude, though this is unconfirmed.

WhatTheHolyHeck September 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

$300B to stimulate this economy? That's awesome. I always jump start my car with a watch battery.

BeWoot September 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

FTW. Upfist supreme.

Thurman Munster IV September 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

ditto

Dexter Linwood September 8, 2011 at 2:28 am

Not only is it "only" $300 billion, but only $50 billion is actually infrastructure. You know, like the last stimulus. This guy continues to self-sabotage himself and us.

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

And there's no way the Republican Congress will pass it, both because they don't want the rich to pay taxes and they want unemployment to remain high until November 2012, so it's all just politics.

Ducksworthy September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Crap. I wish Barry would go really big, bring back the WPA for example, nationalize the damn banks, and then bash the do nothing congress over the head with it until 11/2012.

Crank_Tango September 7, 2011 at 2:46 pm

God at this point all he really needs to do is come up with a plan like that, let them stonewall it, and then bend them over said stone wall. ahhahahaha I must be dreaming, that'll never happen.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I want them to bring back the CCC so I can get paid for going camping.

Lascauxcaveman September 7, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Fresh air! Exercise! Grizzly bears!

Dexter Linwood September 8, 2011 at 2:29 am

My grandpa was with the CCC. It's actually something I didn't learn until last year since my grandma doesn't talk about him much.

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

But that wouldn't be bipartisan, and we can't have that.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm

The problem is that the Congresscritters have to agree. Never try to negotiate with a crazy person holding hostages, because they don't CARE if the hostage dies, and YOU DO. That's the difference. Barry DOESN'T WANT to blow up the economy. The Repigs do.

twaingirl September 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Dead on. As much as Barry makes me angry, he always goes with these decisions because they are, ultimatly, about helping certain groups of people. He wouldn't let the Rethugs take down the entire gov't because it would hurt people. Or at least he plays it that way. However, with the way things have been going lately, I pulled out my West Wing DVDs and began reliving of the joys of the Bartlet presidency.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I lived through the joyous days of the Reagan Presduncenutzi, with businesses closing everywhere and my little city turning into a poverty-stricken blight. Things were a thousand times worse then, and I remember those days quite clearly. Barry isn't doing what I want him to do, but he's SO much better than Reagan, Bush I, Bush II, and even better than Clinton (I still lerve Bill, but NAFTA was a great big Fist O'Bizness right up the ass, no lube; and the EndWelfare shit really hurt poor people A LOT; but we all forget about that because Bill's so good at gladhanding).

I wish people would do something about their memories. They seem to reset to zero every fucking week.

Dexter Linwood September 8, 2011 at 2:31 am

The problem is that the Congresscritters have to agree.

Which is exactly why you propose the most ridiculously grand/impressive plan that you can and force them to deny you and the American people. Then you can bargain it down. You don't negotiate by giving in before the negotiations start. Good god, this is negotiating 101.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Dear Republicans in Congress,
I write to advise, from long ago with the clarity only true hindsight can provide, that there is a tipping point; a point at which all those hideous, bothersome little people swollen and swell up from their hunger and do something. In my case, the something was not pleasant. Ruined a dress and a well coiffed wig.
Marie

commandermonkey September 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Until November 2012?

I always thought the GOP strategy was to increase unemployment and eliminate unemployment assistance because our corporate overloads want a populace starved and willing to work for next to nothing.

I am pretty sure in chess this would be called endgame. If the GOP, and every other major politician who relies on corporate benevolence to survive, is going for broke(i.e. your broke, I'm broke, the entire country is broke and willing to enter into indentured servitude to survive) then why even pretend to raise employment after an election?

Ducksworthy September 12, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Perhaps. But Marie couldn't say "Let them eat $1 McDoubles."

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Barry, you know we'll just blow it all on anusburgers and cool ranch doritos and big gulps.

emmelemm September 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I know I would.

tihond September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

That's what he's hoping for. He also plans on raising taxes on anusburgers, doritos and big gulps.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Wow, Cool Ranch Doritos. Fuck, I love those things. Haven't had them in years, but I even remember the weird, New Mexico-themed commercial that ushered them into the American consumer's mind in the 1980s.

Found it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foylA9FIfXM

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2011 at 3:23 pm

And new batteries for the Hoveround.

chicken_thief September 7, 2011 at 3:44 pm

And weed. Need. more. weed.

Ducksworthy September 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Better skip the RiceaRoni. Get used to eating just rice. We becoming China West. Or is it East?

BeWoot September 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

East. It's East China, Northern Mexico. Albania's Satellite.

caitifty September 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

America – the place where heading east gets you to the West, and heading west gets you to the East.

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Was the person who called CNN yellin' on the phone? 'Cause then it was probably a teabagger.

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Her hologramophone was broken.

chicken_thief September 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm

HEH?!!!

fuflans September 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

how do you yell in allcaps?

MittsHairHelmet September 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm

The richest 100 people in America can't get $300 billion in tax cuts because they barely pay any taxes already. It would be more like a subsidy.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm

$961.04 – How much is that in American money?

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

It ain't worth nothin' unless it's in gold.

KeepFnThatChicken September 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

so… half an ounce, then?

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm

About 1500 cans of hobo beans.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Two candy bars and a coke.

Oh, I thought you asked what Father Murphy gives for anal sex. Sorry.

Oblios_Cap September 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm

The plan would be paid for partly by closing corporate loopholes and raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans in the future

In the future = Never in this sentence.

In the future? Why not do it retroactively?

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Constitution.

GunToting[Redacted] September 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm

The law will read "The tax increases will go into effect 2 years from today*"

* – "Today" being the day that you read this sentence.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

The person who called CNN – were they an inside source, or just some random person who doesn't know how to use Twitter?

edgydrifter September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Well, that would pretty much cover what I still owe on last year's state taxes and my wife's speeding ticket, so…. hooray jobs?

Ducksworthy September 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Also a special War Tax on millionaires would be welcomed by the peon class (those upon whom the trickle down will happen.)

tihond September 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

So it's true what they say about Black Presidents. Their stimulus packages ARE bigger.

Lascauxcaveman September 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm

It's Twoo! It's Twooo!

(I wish)

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm

You know what they say. Once you've had urban — I mean, Black.

BeWoot September 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm

You know, in Arizona you have to take a 16-hour course to be qualified to stand around a construction site in an orange vest waving a flag at passing cars. Still, I'm all for the infrastructure spending even if they won't hire old undereducated guys like me.

Barry Barry Rah Rah Rah!

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

It's even worse when you hand them a resume and they tell you you're "overqualified" for the job. After three or four of those, you just don't bother looking anymore.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

"raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans in the future"

This assumes a future in which the Rethuglicans have been thrown out on their asses.

Ducksworthy September 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Now that's a future I could live in.

jus_wonderin September 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The future is now. Uh, no, now. Wait, now. It's now. No, it is now. Dammit!!!

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

We long for that day.

El Pinche September 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

At least we have our Jenner and Kardashian commodities. We can hold out at 5th place in the world until 2012…when we will all die. At least we'll all be together!

Ducksworthy September 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Actually, given that our life expectancy is around 47th. in the world waiting around until we all die might be a relatively minor inconvenience.

El Pinche September 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I think I'll get a head start this weekend with some jager bombs and fireball whiskey.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Oh, excellent idea. (rummages around in liquor cabinet)

El Pinche September 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm

This last weekend I discovered Fireball; it is baaaaad. I sailed to Fireball Island, and it is a dangerous place.

Not_So_Much September 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

$961.04? If I spend it all on hookers and blow, will the Kochs let me into their tax cut club?

Lascauxcaveman September 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Probably not, but it's worth a try. Win-win scenario. there.

chicken_thief September 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm

If you blow Kochs, then you'd money left for hookers! But waiting in line behind, Scott, Perry, Walker, etc would be a buzz kill.

SayItWithWookies September 7, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Whatever he says, the bill's got too many pages in it.

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 2:46 pm

The teabag freshmen won't vote for it unless they can copy it down in crayon on the blank end page of their pocket constitutions.

Goonemeritus September 7, 2011 at 2:31 pm

He will lay it out in a passionate reasoned way, after all who can argue that our infrastructure doesn’t need investment. He will explain how the country will pay for it and economists will all agree that it may not fix the problem but it will help. Yet everyone at his speech including him knows it will not happen. How depressing it’s like sharing a life boat with an insomniac psychopath with cannibalistic tendencies

Nothingisamiss September 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"Life of PI" is the new metaphor for my country?

twaingirl September 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Boehner is orange like a tiger. Coincidence….?

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Barry,
Please donate mine to GE or one of those other great American institutions that take such good care of my country. I know they will hire people and it will trickle down upon all of us… at least that is what Jesus Reagan told me.
Thanks,
DR

James Michael Curley September 7, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Since I've been living under the stadium at the high school football field, the only thing that trickles down is yellowish and smells.

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Oh, that's (probably) Mountain Dew…

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Yes, I'm sure. Preprocessed through someone else's kidneys.

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm

That's not even enough for an eight ball. How am I supposed to get excited about that?

Tommmcattt September 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

$900 covers your rent? Where do you live, Detroit?

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Out here that'll get you a cardboard refrigerator box out by the dump.

flamingpdog September 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Just a Ken Layne brain fart – he left out the word "boy" after "rent".

Dexter Linwood September 8, 2011 at 2:34 am

Hell, $900 in Michigan gets you some pretty nice digs, these days. I mean, we're talking about multiple bedrooms, not those closests that pass for "rooms" on the coasts.

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Wow, a stimulus program. Ingenious!

flamingpdog September 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm

A late-night triple feature of "Insatiable", "Debbie Does Dallas", and "The Opening of Misty Beethoven". Now that's a stimulus program I could go for.

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 10:53 pm

How does any man watch porn longer than six or seven minutes at a time? It is a mystery to me.

KeepFnThatChicken September 7, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Wow, Ken. I've seen you in dark moods, but "Obama will have reduced his 'jobs plan' to nothing but a $300 billion tax cut for the richest hundred people in America" is so sad, I may start crying.

…and agreeing with you.

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Can I get it in Yen?

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Yen? Heck, for $900 Japan will let you be Prime Minster of the Week.

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I'm sure I'm getting enough fallout from here thanks.

johnnyzhivago September 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

That's like 12 billion sets of Trucknuts!

genxr September 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

all ur trucknutz r made in china

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I just pictured some of the shit they make for our rich people(?) to sell to the 'Merican public and they just crack up when the plans come around from factory to factory… especially in the dildo factories.

SmutBoffin September 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Meanwhile, in Bizarro America, Hussein Obamar takes $960 from each American, spends it on Sharia, and creates jobs, somehow. Jessie Whisperin reports.

Allmighty_Manos September 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

"President Barack Obama is preparing to roll out a roughly $300 billion plan to strengthen the shaky economy and stimulate new job growth, according to Democratic sources. The plan would be paid for partly by closing corporate loopholes and raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans in the future, a Democrat familiar with the plan told CNN"

Yeah, that's going to happen. Obama might as well ask the GOP to chip in a case of Yuengling and a bag of cheetos for tommorow's NFL opener if we playing a game of let's pretend.

Wonderthing September 7, 2011 at 2:43 pm

I want a half ounce of gold.

DaRooster September 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

How about a quarter pound of green?

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

It's gotta be good bud, though.

johnnyzhivago September 7, 2011 at 2:43 pm

This is enough to get my pet projects, the transcontinental monorail and the space elevator off the ground.

genxr September 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I'd like to see more funding for the electric unicycle and perpetual motion pogo stick.

DahBoner September 7, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Don't forget about exploding jetpacks!

flamingpdog September 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm

And the perpetual motion, electric exploding escalator up to the top of Mount Rushmore!

crybabyboehner September 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Why would I even WANT a job when I'm gettin' 961 smackeroos?

Sue4466 September 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Why is he even bothering to go on with the talk? Mitchell and the rest of the GOP told him way back on January 21, 2009, that there was no way his jobs plan would work.

genxr September 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Is this going to be another stillborn proposal? I'd like to see Obama propose a new G.I. Bill. Everyone who was deployed in The War On Terror[tm] gets a full ride college scholarship, with extra bonuses for studying engineering and sustainable energy. Throw in an equal amount of infrastructure spending, so the chickenhawks can get construction jobs. I would really like to see Republicans oppose that.

Nothingisamiss September 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

This will be reported on Fox, and repeated endlessly as "Taxing and spending in the most craven way possible. Obama cynically tries to use our county's heroes to make political gains." Chyron under the pictures "Troops mean nothing to Obama but political football?"

CNN will follow with "Is this a cynical ploy to use our troops to shore up a failing presidency? We'll discuss this with our political panel, including Erick Erickson of Redstate.com"

genxr September 7, 2011 at 2:59 pm

nao i haz a sad

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

We Support Our Troops Defense Contractors!

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:19 pm

They're opposing health care for 9/11 responders. You really think they're gonna bat an eye at this bullshit?

Slim_Pickins September 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

The GOP plan is to divide the money equally among the 300 richest people in the US for "job creation."

Monsieur_Grumpe September 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Well, at least he 's not suggesting we all pray for jobs.

DahBoner September 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

He always sneaks that shit in at the end of the speech….

Mumbletypeg September 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Needs more second-hand designer purses, with secret toy surprises stuffed inside. All for the sake of us poorz, we like to be humored, us poorz do.

jus_wonderin September 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Is there a drinking game for everytime a Rethug stands up and yells "You lie!"?

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

It'll be like the Catholic schools of old that I've heard about, where Boehner Cantor will have a special little clicker that directs the rest of the House Republicans when to applaud, when to jeer, and when to stand up and yell "You lie!" in unison.

Polythene_Pam September 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

What a great idea! If I had $966, I would totally create a job!
Hmmm… What could I pay someone $18.50 a week to do for me?
I know! They could get my kids' dinner & make sure they get their homework done, while dad & I go out to panhandle!

Lascauxcaveman September 7, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Two words: Guatemalan Nanny.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Bear in mind that you'll be getting the kids' allotments, too. So, that's, like, what? $3600 or more, man. Enough for at least TWO crates of hobo beans.

Redhead September 7, 2011 at 2:57 pm

That buys an awful lot of hobo beans and cardboard boxes.

imissopus September 7, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Barack Obama’s jobs plan will involve somehow spending $300 billion because of tax cuts, and then people will have jobs again. No really this is what the article says.

Haha, no it really doesn't, but you do seem to have read the entire article this time, so Progress!

Ugh, this does not sound like a good plan, but since Congress won't pass anything anyway I guess it's back to pounding my head against the table in hopes of knocking myself into unconsciousness for the next few years.

flamingpdog September 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

"… I still believe both parties can work together to solve our problems," the president said in a Labor Day speech in Detroit.

Well, Barry, Michele has the hand-wavy thing down a lot better than you do, but you definitely are getting closer on the delusional thinking part there, pardner.

bigdupa September 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

$961.04…. OR 9 /(6+1+4= 11) 9/11! Hey Eric, if you can't put 9/11 in everyone's fanny pack, the terrorists win.

YouBetcha September 7, 2011 at 3:26 pm

That won't even buy you three hours with me, and I'm not dropping my rates. I don't care how bad the economy gets.

DahBoner September 7, 2011 at 3:41 pm

"That won't even buy you three hours with me, and I'm not dropping my rates. "'

No, but it will buy a ticket to Shanghai or Bangkok, where tons of free sex is available, because foreigners are willing to do what Americans American Women With Too High Expectations cannot will not…

YouBetcha September 8, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Who said anything about sex? I'm a lawyer. But I can understand why there might be some confusion.

YouBetcha September 8, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Also, Tijuana is much closer.

subsum September 7, 2011 at 3:34 pm

$961.04 surely pays for a few nice blowjobs or a lot of handjobs (I don't know what the going rate is these days). That would be a good jobs program.

DahBoner September 7, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Private Ideas on How to Create Jobs

"Ahead of Obama's jobs-focused speech to a join session of Congress on Thursday, the Wall Street Journal talked to four groups of people, including CEOs and entrepreneurs, to get their takes on spurring job creation…"

Hey America!

How are those CEOs and entrepreneurs creating jobs working out for ya?

//snort, snort

fuflans September 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

and i wonder what they proposed.

//snort, snort

WhatTheHeck September 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I suggest everyone take their stimulus monies and invest it in the Stock Market.
What could go wrong?

mumbly_joe September 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Problem is, even if you do the non-hilarious version of the same math:

The "official" number unemployed is ~14 million, if you assume that the idea to get out of the recession is to reduce unemployment to ~2-3 % (and 80% cut, basically), that means 300 billion becomes… 26k jobs for all! Hope you love living just barely above the poverty line, forever, peons!

But, it gets better: the "unofficial" unemployment number is considered closer to 22-30 million, or 15-20% of the workforce. Soooo… now, 300 billion is actually between 23k and 18k per jobless person. I hope you enjoy being at or below the poverty line, because that's all we got. Not that the political will exists for a jobs plan this "ambitious", that is. We need to worry about debt and inflation, after all!

PubOption September 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Poorly-paying jobs, exactly what the republicans want to create, but they'll still find a way to complain about it.

fuflans September 7, 2011 at 7:57 pm

speaking as an unemployed person, i know debt and inflation are all i really worry about.

Smitros September 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I have a daytime job, I'm doin' alright, so somebody can have my $961.04.

Just don't spend it on vodka in plastic flasks. That's tacky

GunToting[Redacted] September 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I just have an old guitar I can pawn…

Smitros September 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

That's the spirit!

red_kira September 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Not enough for MY rent. We live in Seattle. Wheeeeee!

Jukesgrrl September 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm

It's enough for my mortgage payment. And given how many unemployed relatives are living in my house, we're now good for more than another year. Thanks, Barry!

Naked_Bunny September 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Will I have to share my cut with my cats?

starfanglednut September 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Layne post about Obie? BRB. I'll get the gin and razor blades

Weenus299 September 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Make it a lottery. 300 Americans get to be the country's next billionaires.

BarackMyWorld September 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm

NOBAMA STOLED MY IDEA!!!!!11

fuflans September 7, 2011 at 7:58 pm

jessica yellin is on the phone. and not a hologram.

a metaphor for america today.

a_pink_poodle September 7, 2011 at 8:56 pm

"The plan would be paid for partly by closing corporate loopholes and raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans in the future"

And that's why it won't get passed.

genxr September 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

How about climatology? That'd make some Republican heads explode, having a combat veteran explain greenhouse gases to them.

I even have a plan to get it passed: Force every millionaire to go to the local VA hospital and explain to disabled veterans why they don't want a 2% tax increase, and do this every day until the bill becomes law.

elviouslyqueer September 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

All of them, Katie.

Sue4466 September 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

My question was more rhetorical snark.

twaingirl September 7, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I was in 3rd grade when NAFTA passed. I remember they had us watch on TV because it was such a momentous occasion. Then you grow up and realize who it was momentous *for*. My only real political memories are of the Lewinsky scandal, which made no sense to me, and Dubya. And being arrested for protesting the Iraq War cuz this is America!

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Aha, a Youngz! Nice to meet you.

I protested the bombing of Serbia, but managed not to get my aged ass arrested. Too gimpy to protest the Iraq war. Too gimpy and too overworked. But kudos to you for protesting it.

Pristine_ODummy September 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Save me a little, and I'll save you a pour of some wonderful brandy I bought recently.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: