Did Prince Do 9/11?

by Ken Layne

According to the people speaking Elvish in this European television broadcast, shocking audio from a Prince concert in 1998 proves the Minneapolis badass knew years in advance that Osama bin Laden would “bomb” (hip hop for “use passenger jets as missiles”) the United States in 2001. Why won’t the Tea Party distance itself from Prince?

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 85 comments }

johnnymeatworth September 7, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Sign O' The Times….

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 1:45 pm

At least we didn't get "Purple Rained!"

V572 T-Blow September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Or golden showered.

LettucePrey September 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Or Diamond & Pearl-necklaced.

iburl September 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Or Chocolate Rained.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Actually, we did. It's called "trickle down".

GregComlish September 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

The day formerly known as September, 11th: Never Forget

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

The terror-artist formerly known as TAFKAP.

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Tonight I'm gonna party with a September tenth mindset.

SexySmurf September 7, 2011 at 1:47 pm

When Prince says, "I got to get ready for the bomb," I think he's referring to Graffiti Bridge.

SystemError September 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

I thought the Gap Band did "You Dropped the Bomb On Me."

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

They did. Watch the video. It features stock footage of WWII aircraft and men dancing in camos.

It will make you gay for 3 minutes.

Barb September 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Yes, he knew. He wanted to send in special forces military personnel, the Raspberry Berets to stop them.

Steverino247 September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

The kind you find in a second-hand store?

johnnymeatworth September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Nearly 3,000 Pop Lives were lost in the attacks….

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Will they die 4 U?

mayor_quimby September 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm

What you puttin' in yo nose?

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

No, Prince predicted that the party would be over, out of time when it became two thousand zero zero, at the end of nineteen ninety-nine. Jeez, doesn't anyone know the classics any more?

LettucePrey September 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Ken was dreaming when he wrote this, forgive him if it went astray.

gullywompr September 7, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Geez, you sound just like my mother. She's never satisfied.

SayItWithWookies September 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Hell, Arthur C. Clarke knew 30 years beforehand — the large, black rectangular monoliths inciting tool-use in proto-humans is exactly parallel to the WTC causing al-Qaida to attack it with airplanes. Dude's got some explaining to do.

CrankyLttlCamperette September 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Controversy!

edgydrifter September 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Raspberry Beret was a thinly-veiled critique of globalization and the concentration of wealth via currency-market manipulations. WAKE UP, AMERICA!!

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

So does this mean that Under the Cherry Moon is not actually about what I thought it was about?

revmatty September 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

To be fair, it made more sense than Graffiti Bridge. Plus: Wrecka Sto.

EatsBabyDingos September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Prince is from… [cue ominous music] Minnesota. And we know what else comes from. ..Minnesota.

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Well on one hand you've got
– Norm Coleman
– Michele Bachmann
– Marcus Bachmann
– Jesse Ventura
– TAFKA T-Paw

But on the other hand there's
– Al Franken
– Lizard People
– Garrison Keillor

Monsieur_Grumpe September 7, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Me!

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

"Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka."

Pat_Pending September 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Or Lake Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.

FlownOver September 7, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Steers? Or the other one?

weejee September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

And all the while his guitar gently weeped.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

THANKS!!! That was fantastic!

Callyson September 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I hope Darling Nikki got out OK…

V572 T-Blow September 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Sorry to see the Wonkette Content Farm succumb to the 9/11 nostalgia temptation.

Ken Layne September 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Yeah, we'll make *sure* not to note the ENTIRE COUNTRY GOING INSANE for the 9/11 anniversary. We *never* pay any attention to Americans going insane.

V572 T-Blow September 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Ha ha ha, so meta. Have you heard? CNBC said there’s a squirrel outside the window!

weejee September 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Are the Wonkette supersleuths digging in to find that the Saudi Princes were in on 9/11 all the way up to the agals that hold the keffiyehs on their amoral heads? Y'all aren't gonna let some W-bama redaction get in your way are ya?

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

I'm just glad the anniversary itself is on a Sunday; it'll be easier to ignore that way.

V572 T-Blow September 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm

I can't wait to see what gifts I get this year.

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm

How about a crying eagle on black velvet? We'll probably see a lot more of those; but won't get to hear what it sounds like when doves cry.

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm

or a commemorative coin?

mumbly_joe September 7, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Every year, I face the stronger and stronger urge to write on my facebook or twitter, "HAPPY 9/11, EVERYBODY!"

But, it ends up, one of my friends had an actual nervous breakdown over it, so doing so wouldn't go over too well with my friends and might be slightly less funny because of that. Slightly.

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm

mj,
♪ ♫ I know it's been said many times, in many ways…
Merry 9/11 to you.♪ ♫

Come here a minute September 7, 2011 at 2:08 pm

And no extra "God Bless America" during the baseball games. (Yes, they still do this every Sunday, instead of the hallowed hymn, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame".) As Tom Hanks said, "There's no praying in baseball, or something!"

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Oh yeah, they sang that at the last baseball game I attended (which is not something I do often) and I was confused and, as an atheist, somewhat offended. I made a point not to sing along.

V572 T-Blow September 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

How did the people sitting around you respond:

(1) "Say, I noticed you failed to join in the collective singing a Broadway show tune that has become our ex officio national anthem. Is it because you don't think the Almighty has chosen to bless one national unit above another? Or perhaps you are a bit skeptical about the entire idea of a supreme being. I'd like to hear more about your views in any case."

(2) "Get the fuck outahere, you hippie fag pinko peace creep!"

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Yeah, I fucking hate that. If it were America the Beautiful, it wouldn't be so bad. It also comes at the time right before beer sales end, so it's doubly bad.

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I was sick of this quasi-naustalgia fest 3 weeks ago. Can you imagine the moments of silence and "where were you?" bombardment that is yet to come?

WhatTheHolyHeck September 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I am likely to commit violence if exposed to yet more self-indulgent navel-gazing from some file clerk in Nebraska who recounts the deep personal suffering she endured while watching the towers fall on the office conference room television.

Crank_Tango September 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I will nevar forgit…I was sleeping the morning away, about to go down to mexico to buy more pills, when I heard the news. I had to skip the pills cuz the border got closed, and go out and get drunk instead.
Some asshole in the bar was babbling about how we deserved it, and I sat there contemplating breaking my pint glass and stabbing him in the neck with it.
That night, a DJ refused my request to play "killing an arab." must not have been a Cure fan.
Needless to say, I was in rehab three months to the day after 9/11.

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Camus, after all, was French.

Mumbletypeg September 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm

9/11 nostalgia? I'm drowning in Prince nostalgia here, it seems.

Grief_Lessons September 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

How could the Tea Party distance themselves from Prince?

WhatTheHolyHeck September 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I hear you can get pretty far in a little red Corvette.

Chet Kincaid September 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Prince was taken away in custody while trying to board a United Airlines jet in Minneapolis. A security scan found a lion in his pocket, reportedly "ready to roar."

Mumbletypeg September 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Poor lion — it just wanted to be taken to "the place where your horses run free."

MiniMencken September 7, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Well, that evidence is Gouda enough for me!

FakaktaSouth September 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Just like the fucking teabagging Rethugs – ignore this but take "Lets Go Crazy" to the nth degree forever.

"He said how'd you like to waste some time?
And I could not resist when I saw little Rick-y grind…"

SexySmurf September 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

The Batdance was reason enough to send him to Gitmo.

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Okay, yes. But you have to send Morris Day first, just because.

Doktor Zoom September 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

He already did the Time.

RadioEnron9/11 September 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Hey, Prince was a pretty good prognosticator. Didn't he call the Y2K disaster too?

powersuit September 7, 2011 at 2:08 pm

It's Prince code, ordering them to "punch a higher floor".

But the real question is, where were Wendy and Lisa?

MLHencken September 7, 2011 at 2:43 pm

The same place the NPG got sent to, I'm guessing.

bumfug September 7, 2011 at 2:09 pm

That little Corvette was red with the blood of innocents!

Mumbletypeg September 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm

But if it was "Saturday night".. I guess that makes it all right?

Guppy06 September 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

And this intelligence slipped by because who the fuck speaks Dutch!?

KeepFnThatChicken September 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I love this story.

…but not like I love my guitar.

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I am baking a twin towers cake and crashing a toy 737 into it. Too soon?

Crank_Tango September 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Prince also predicted the partying I would be doing in 1999. Thanks a lot, Bilderberg group!

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Thanks a lot, Wonkette, I had forgotten about this wormy little grease-ball until today.

Sue4466 September 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that conversation wouldn't make anymore sense if I did speak whatever language they're using.

revmatty September 7, 2011 at 2:46 pm

This is my favorite Wonkette thread ever.

johnnyzhivago September 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Get it right!!! The Terrorist Formerly Known as Prince

ApplesauceRobot September 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Morris Day was an inside job.

4TheTurnstiles September 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm

LMLYP?

Poindexter718 September 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Little known fact: Prince's secretary's name was Osama and OBL's secretary's name was ❦.

iburl September 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

This only proves that Dick Cheney sleeps with Prince and talks in his sleep. Yawn!

HempDogbane September 7, 2011 at 9:08 pm

The bomb you buy at the secondhand store.

tcaalaw September 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

I blame Was (Not Was) based on their song "I Blew Up The United States"! (I'm actually surprised this one doesn't get mentioned more in conspiracy theories. It even has lines about blowing up the Statue of Liberty.)

anakinnotdick September 7, 2011 at 11:53 pm

Sorry, what happened at the 9-11? Did they run out of Slushees?

prommie September 8, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Well, if you had said "Saudi Prince," that would be a nother thing entirely. But them Saudis are in the Oil Bidness just like W and Dicky, so they got the biggest pass ever in the history of ther world.

TheMeatmaker September 9, 2011 at 12:51 am

Osama was just getting Prince back for Under the Cherry Moon. Talk about a bomb.

SorosBot September 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I don't think anyone noticed, so I didn't have to deal with any crap.

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