A truthful xplanation but you know what? Eye got another conspiracy

Did Prince Do 9/11?

According to the people speaking Elvish in this European television broadcast, shocking audio from a Prince concert in 1998 proves the Minneapolis badass knew years in advance that Osama bin Laden would “bomb” (hip hop for “use passenger jets as missiles”) the United States in 2001. Why won’t the Tea Party distance itself from Prince?

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

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  • johnnymeatworth

    Sign O' The Times….

  • RadioEnron9/11

    At least we didn't get "Purple Rained!"

    • V572 T-Blow

      Or golden showered.

      • LettucePrey

        Or Diamond & Pearl-necklaced.

        • iburl

          Or Chocolate Rained.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Actually, we did. It's called "trickle down".

  • GregComlish

    The day formerly known as September, 11th: Never Forget

    • RadioEnron9/11

      The terror-artist formerly known as TAFKAP.

  • Come here a minute

    Tonight I'm gonna party with a September tenth mindset.

  • SexySmurf

    When Prince says, "I got to get ready for the bomb," I think he's referring to Graffiti Bridge.

  • SystemError

    I thought the Gap Band did "You Dropped the Bomb On Me."

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      They did. Watch the video. It features stock footage of WWII aircraft and men dancing in camos.

      It will make you gay for 3 minutes.

  • Barb

    Yes, he knew. He wanted to send in special forces military personnel, the Raspberry Berets to stop them.

    • Steverino247

      The kind you find in a second-hand store?

    • johnnymeatworth

      Nearly 3,000 Pop Lives were lost in the attacks….

    • SorosBot

      Will they die 4 U?

    • mayor_quimby

      What you puttin' in yo nose?

  • SorosBot

    No, Prince predicted that the party would be over, out of time when it became two thousand zero zero, at the end of nineteen ninety-nine. Jeez, doesn't anyone know the classics any more?

    • LettucePrey

      Ken was dreaming when he wrote this, forgive him if it went astray.

    • gullywompr

      Geez, you sound just like my mother. She's never satisfied.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hell, Arthur C. Clarke knew 30 years beforehand — the large, black rectangular monoliths inciting tool-use in proto-humans is exactly parallel to the WTC causing al-Qaida to attack it with airplanes. Dude's got some explaining to do.

  • CrankyLttlCamperette

    Controversy!

  • edgydrifter

    Raspberry Beret was a thinly-veiled critique of globalization and the concentration of wealth via currency-market manipulations. WAKE UP, AMERICA!!

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      So does this mean that Under the Cherry Moon is not actually about what I thought it was about?

      • revmatty

        To be fair, it made more sense than Graffiti Bridge. Plus: Wrecka Sto.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Prince is from… [cue ominous music] Minnesota. And we know what else comes from. ..Minnesota.

    • Come here a minute

      Well on one hand you've got
      – Norm Coleman
      – Michele Bachmann
      – Marcus Bachmann
      – Jesse Ventura
      – TAFKA T-Paw

      But on the other hand there's
      – Al Franken
      – Lizard People
      – Garrison Keillor

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Me!

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka."

      • Pat_Pending

        Or Lake Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Steers? Or the other one?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    And all the while his guitar gently weeped.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      THANKS!!! That was fantastic!

  • Callyson

    I hope Darling Nikki got out OK…

  • V572 T-Blow

    Sorry to see the Wonkette Content Farm succumb to the 9/11 nostalgia temptation.

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      Yeah, we'll make *sure* not to note the ENTIRE COUNTRY GOING INSANE for the 9/11 anniversary. We *never* pay any attention to Americans going insane.

      • V572 T-Blow

        Ha ha ha, so meta. Have you heard? CNBC said there’s a squirrel outside the window!

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Are the Wonkette supersleuths digging in to find that the Saudi Princes were in on 9/11 all the way up to the agals that hold the keffiyehs on their amoral heads? Y'all aren't gonna let some W-bama redaction get in your way are ya?

    • SorosBot

      I'm just glad the anniversary itself is on a Sunday; it'll be easier to ignore that way.

      • V572 T-Blow

        I can't wait to see what gifts I get this year.

        • SorosBot

          How about a crying eagle on black velvet? We'll probably see a lot more of those; but won't get to hear what it sounds like when doves cry.

          • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

            or a commemorative coin?

        • mumbly_joe

          Every year, I face the stronger and stronger urge to write on my facebook or twitter, "HAPPY 9/11, EVERYBODY!"

          But, it ends up, one of my friends had an actual nervous breakdown over it, so doing so wouldn't go over too well with my friends and might be slightly less funny because of that. Slightly.

          • RadioEnron9/11

            mj,
            ♪ ♫ I know it's been said many times, in many ways…
            Merry 9/11 to you.♪ ♫

      • Come here a minute

        And no extra "God Bless America" during the baseball games. (Yes, they still do this every Sunday, instead of the hallowed hymn, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame".) As Tom Hanks said, "There's no praying in baseball, or something!"

        • SorosBot

          Oh yeah, they sang that at the last baseball game I attended (which is not something I do often) and I was confused and, as an atheist, somewhat offended. I made a point not to sing along.

          • V572 T-Blow

            How did the people sitting around you respond:

            (1) "Say, I noticed you failed to join in the collective singing a Broadway show tune that has become our ex officio national anthem. Is it because you don't think the Almighty has chosen to bless one national unit above another? Or perhaps you are a bit skeptical about the entire idea of a supreme being. I'd like to hear more about your views in any case."

            (2) "Get the fuck outahere, you hippie fag pinko peace creep!"

          • SorosBot

            I don't think anyone noticed, so I didn't have to deal with any crap.

        • littlebigdaddy

          Yeah, I fucking hate that. If it were America the Beautiful, it wouldn't be so bad. It also comes at the time right before beer sales end, so it's doubly bad.

    • RadioEnron9/11

      I was sick of this quasi-naustalgia fest 3 weeks ago. Can you imagine the moments of silence and "where were you?" bombardment that is yet to come?

      • WhatTheHolyHeck

        I am likely to commit violence if exposed to yet more self-indulgent navel-gazing from some file clerk in Nebraska who recounts the deep personal suffering she endured while watching the towers fall on the office conference room television.

      • Crank_Tango

        I will nevar forgit…I was sleeping the morning away, about to go down to mexico to buy more pills, when I heard the news. I had to skip the pills cuz the border got closed, and go out and get drunk instead.
        Some asshole in the bar was babbling about how we deserved it, and I sat there contemplating breaking my pint glass and stabbing him in the neck with it.
        That night, a DJ refused my request to play "killing an arab." must not have been a Cure fan.
        Needless to say, I was in rehab three months to the day after 9/11.

        • RadioEnron9/11

          Camus, after all, was French.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      9/11 nostalgia? I'm drowning in Prince nostalgia here, it seems.

  • Grief_Lessons

    How could the Tea Party distance themselves from Prince?

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      I hear you can get pretty far in a little red Corvette.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Prince was taken away in custody while trying to board a United Airlines jet in Minneapolis. A security scan found a lion in his pocket, reportedly "ready to roar."

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Poor lion — it just wanted to be taken to "the place where your horses run free."

  • MiniMencken

    Well, that evidence is Gouda enough for me!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Just like the fucking teabagging Rethugs – ignore this but take "Lets Go Crazy" to the nth degree forever.

    "He said how'd you like to waste some time?
    And I could not resist when I saw little Rick-y grind…"

  • SexySmurf

    The Batdance was reason enough to send him to Gitmo.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      Okay, yes. But you have to send Morris Day first, just because.

      • Doktor Zoom

        He already did the Time.

  • RadioEnron9/11

    Hey, Prince was a pretty good prognosticator. Didn't he call the Y2K disaster too?

  • powersuit

    It's Prince code, ordering them to "punch a higher floor".

    But the real question is, where were Wendy and Lisa?

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      The same place the NPG got sent to, I'm guessing.

  • bumfug

    That little Corvette was red with the blood of innocents!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      But if it was "Saturday night".. I guess that makes it all right?

  • Guppy06

    And this intelligence slipped by because who the fuck speaks Dutch!?

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I love this story.

    …but not like I love my guitar.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I am baking a twin towers cake and crashing a toy 737 into it. Too soon?

  • Crank_Tango

    Prince also predicted the partying I would be doing in 1999. Thanks a lot, Bilderberg group!

  • ttommyunger

    Thanks a lot, Wonkette, I had forgotten about this wormy little grease-ball until today.

  • Sue4466

    I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that conversation wouldn't make anymore sense if I did speak whatever language they're using.

  • revmatty

    This is my favorite Wonkette thread ever.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Get it right!!! The Terrorist Formerly Known as Prince

  • ApplesauceRobot

    Morris Day was an inside job.

  • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

    LMLYP?

  • Poindexter718

    Little known fact: Prince's secretary's name was Osama and OBL's secretary's name was ❦.

  • iburl

    This only proves that Dick Cheney sleeps with Prince and talks in his sleep. Yawn!

  • HempDogbane

    The bomb you buy at the secondhand store.

  • tcaalaw

    I blame Was (Not Was) based on their song "I Blew Up The United States"! (I'm actually surprised this one doesn't get mentioned more in conspiracy theories. It even has lines about blowing up the Statue of Liberty.)

  • anakinnotdick

    Sorry, what happened at the 9-11? Did they run out of Slushees?

  • prommie

    Well, if you had said "Saudi Prince," that would be a nother thing entirely. But them Saudis are in the Oil Bidness just like W and Dicky, so they got the biggest pass ever in the history of ther world.

  • TheMeatmaker

    Osama was just getting Prince back for Under the Cherry Moon. Talk about a bomb.