Gay hooker parties used to be the best reason for skipping a Democratic presidential address. What happened to those days?Isn’t Twitter just the best? Thank Allah for Twitter, teabagger Rep. Paul Broun will not have to sit through Barack Obama’s filthy jobs speech in front of Congress. Instead, Broun will be obligated to keep his tradition of hiding in his wicked Washington opium cave during Obama’s important addresses so that he can bark mangled opinions — about what, the horrors of employment? — from his Twitter account during the speech like some feverish Taliban warlord with a fear of irrelevance and an Internet connection. Don’t worry so much, Paul Broun, no one was assuming you or anyone else in the Tea Party were going to be listening that whole time, anyway.

From The Ticket:

“Dr. Broun will not be attending President Obama’s joint address, but he looks forward to hearing the president’s proposal for job creation,” Broun spokeswoman Meredith Griffanti told The Ticket. “Dr. Broun will instead watch the speech from his office where he will host a live town hall via Twitter to interact with his constituents.”

Broun remained in his office during Obama’s State of the Union address in January, providing his own commentary on the social networking website throughout the speech.

“Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism,” one of Broun’s tweets read.

We take it all back. Paul Broun should be required by LAW to skip every important presidential speech because this is the BEST POLITICAL COMMENTARY EVAR. [The Ticket]

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  • comrad_darkness

    “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism,”

    Obama has taken Broun's speech to heart and will not be sending any aid to Texas for the wildfires.

    • DahBoner


  • DaRooster

    Dude… your name is spelled urong… can't wait to read your tueets.

    • genxr

      It is usually spelled "Braun" but you can call him Eva.

      • DaRooster

        (I thought… but with my hanged over I saw BroWn the first couple of times… so I went with that)

      • chicken_thief

        Brilliant minds…. my first thought was "is this fucker the evil spawn of Adolf and Eva?"

    • OneDollarJuana

      Uhat a cwnt.

  • bumfug

    I hope Broun keeps his webcam off so his constituents can't see him furiously masturbating every time Obama mentions jobless people.

    • DahBoner

      Food Stamp Chicks are kinda hot!

      • chicken_thief

        Gimme a Welfare Queen any day – I loves me some ridin' in a Cadillac!

    • ttommyunger

      This sexless turd hasn't had a boner in ten years. Why do you think they're all so fucking pissed all the time?

      • bumfug

        That sleazy piece of dogshit was my congressman until I got back out of Georgia. He's a doctor so I figure he's got access to meds that'll give him enough of a semi to beat his rancid meat.

        • ttommyunger

          Viagra can heal the sick, not raise the dead.

        • DaRooster

          Reminds me of Yellow Bastard from Sin City….

  • How else is he going to be able to watch gay porn at work?

    • LesPaultard

      host a live town hall via Twitter to interact with his constituents

      Sounds like gay porn to me.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I do not wish to be on the receiving end of any of these Broun Notes.

    • DahBoner

      Respect the roll!

  • Come here a minute

    Ah, this is why there will be no formal Republican response — it will be a simultaneous response in a flood of 140-character non sequiturs.

    • Jukesgrrl

      They don't even need 140 characters to say, "I'm against it." They don't need to listen either.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    But where will Joe "You lie!" Wilson be? These guys are repulsive and racist. Can you imagine if any Democratic pols skipped W's speeches/address?

  • Fox n Fiends

    “Dr. Broun will instead watch the speech from his taxpayer-funded office where he will fabricate a live town hall via socialist-minded Twitter to throw poop with his astroturf paymasters.”

  • Oh, ok, I get it. This is going to be like MST3K for him, except instead of funny cultural references it is going to be all:

    "Where are the jerbs?"

    "I don't care for black people being president."

    "Where's my rascal scooter?"

    • Barb

      "Live to not serve"

    • FNMA

      "I wanna decide who lives and who dies!"
      — Crow T. Robot.

    • Callyson

      "If we don't increase taxes on the poors, they'll just keep making more of them!"
      "If the unemployed really wanted to work, they'd sign up with the DC Madam. Getting tired of seeing the same rent boys every week."
      "I need a nap."

  • DahBoner

    "You believe in socialism,” one of Broun’s tweets read."'

    These are the people who complained for years about $30 an hour union guys, "making too much money".

    But not a peep from them about CEO's making $300,000 an hour….

  • Nothingisamiss

    I like that he's referred to as "Dr." even though he never finished residency or practiced as an M.D. It's kinda like "Governor" Palin.

    • DahBoner

      "Doctor Quitter"?

      Oh yeah, he's been known to quit during the middle of operations, just mumbling, Fuck this messed up shit, I got a tee time!

    • OneDollarJuana

      From his biography on his congressional website: "Dr. Broun enjoys the freedom of practicing medicine without bureaucratic encumbrances". WTF? Does this mean he practices medicine without a license? Or did he start some kind of "board" out of his family that certified him to practice "medicine", a la Rand Paul?

      • SorosBot

        Come on, wouldn't you live to have a doctor operate on you without bureaucratic encumbrances? They could charge much less if they didn't have to worry about things like sterilization or having the proper training or being sober while they cut you open.

      • DahBoner

        "Dr. Broun enjoys the freedom of practicing medicine without bureaucratic encumbrances"

        He's one of the few doctors who give protological exams in the back of his Econoline van, with waterbed and shag carpeting on the side panels.

        Half price specials after closing time…

      • Callyson

        Maybe it means he stayed out of those liberal universities and got his medical education from an online course. Something he heard about from Frightfart or some wingnut website…

    • fuflans

      the new republican party: doctors who can't practice medicine, plumbers who can't plumb, lawyers from russia who sell real estate and a man who prays for rain and sets his whole state on fire.

  • James Michael Curley

    Broun, which is high german for tedious idiot, got a note from his mother; "Please move Paulie to a room where there aren't all those dark people."

  • loulouroo

    So anonymous twatters sniping from afar is the most dignified stance we can expect from our Republican overlords? Can they then please just make heroin legal for us to ease our misery?

  • Redhead

    Why does this man not have a smart phone with a Twitter app? (Never mind – not sure I want to encourage his twatting on the go.)

    Oh, and Broun – FYI, when you say, “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism,” you really mean, "Mr. Perry-who-I-hope-will-become-president-after-the-candidate's-forum-gang-bang, you don't believe in the Constitution, you believe in socialism."

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Actually I think “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism,” translates to "You are a niggrah that I don't want to even pretend to respect."

    • Really. The rest of 'em will be tweeting from their seats in the House, why can't this douche?

    • Sue4466

      because the word "smart" gets no where near this guy. not even by phone.

  • Goonemeritus

    All the credibility of Ashton Kutcher combined with the political acumen of Benito Mussolini sounds like a national treasure to me.

    OT Can I humbly suggest the frequent visiting of fellow Wonkette posters Intense Debate profiles so that Breitbart visages may be cleansed.

    • SexySmurf

      Please don't visit mine. I like being reminded of how pathetic Down Fisty is.

      • SorosBot

        All, like, five or six of him. Um, what does he think the purpose of all those accounts is?

  • DaRooster

    He will obviously be too busy working out during the speech.

    Have another corn-dog Dick-Weed.

  • bflrtsplk

    What can Broun do for you?

    • Callyson

      Given how often UPS has screwed up deliveries and then tried to blame anyone and everyone else, my reply would be "Act like a typical Republican."

  • elviouslyqueer

    Broun remained in his office during Obama’s State of the Union address in January, providing his own commentary on the social networking website throughout the speech.

    Say what y'all will, but this kind of blatant disrespect for the POTUS really chaps my hindquarters. In a perfect world, Barry would call up Rep. Broun, tell him to 1) get his ass over to the joint session, 2) sit his ass down and 3) STFU. Elsewise, Broun can kiss any money going to his congressional district goodbye.

    • Or a member of the Republican House leadership would call him and say that we may disagree with the policies, but this is still the president and we will all be there to respectfully listen and give him due consideration. Unfortunately, we live in a world where Boehner and Cantor are the leaders of the Republican caucus.

      • SorosBot

        I can't believe that the current crop of GOP leaders make me nostalgic for Bob Dole.

        • Just a couple of weeks ago a very liberal friend and I were talking about how we both became politically aware as teenagers in the late 80s and can't believe that, as much of an asshole as we thought Reagan was, we're actually nostalgic for the Republican Party of that era.

      • Sue4466

        Hold on. Wait one minute. You're sounding like a reasonable adult. No call for any of that. This the GOP we're talking about.

        Seriously, though, if we had leadership that respected governance or had a shred of common decency–or basic manners for that matter–we wouldn't be as fucked as we presently are.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Oh, I'm the first to admit that Barry has sent me down the despairing path quite a few times, but this kind of Congressional incivility is totally beyond the fucking pale. Fortunately, I'm in good company in thinking that most Congressvolk, regardless of party, have become nothing more than a collection of angry, spoiled three-year-olds who all need a collective spanking before being sent to their room without any dinner.

          • Sue4466

            Do you think it's possible for them to start acting like adults now? I've lost faith that we can get back to some time where these people can work together. I remember telling a friend years ago that the GOP needed to marginalize its crazies. At the time I was talking about Oliver North. If you really start to think too hard about this stuff, it is depressing as hell.

    • Sue4466

      It really is infuriating. If the Dems pulled this shit when Bush was president–or during the Perry presidency–the outrage from the right and concern for the "office of the president" would be deafening. But. Black guy. So, it's all fair game. Call him a liar during the SOTU. Refuse to schedule a speech. Don't show up at his speeches before Congress. Then feign shock when someone suggests it's racism.

  • about what, the horrors of employment?

    Seriously. If I'm employed, that will totally cut into my "bitching about unemployment" time. Then what will I do with my days?

  • "You Lie" is just not going to be same when Twittered.

  • SexySmurf

    Not childish enough. He needs to stick his fingers in his ears and go "nanananana I can't hear you; I have my anti-socialism force field up!"

  • MiniMencken

    Is this the inventor of the "Broun Derby" I keep hearing about at the local ghey bar?

  • Barrelhse

    You know what else is Broun?
    (hint: 50 million flies can't be wrong)

  • crybabyboehner

    This is the guy who laughed when some old fart talked about shooting Obama. Stay classy, Paul!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Rep. Broun will be staying in his office, where he's got someone who can translate his inchoate paranoid ramblings into 140-character driblets and where he's got an extra pair of big boy pants just in case.

    Oh, one more thing — the Constitution isn't incompatible with socialism, Mr. Broun. Reading is not a faith-based activity, dumbass.

  • So this has been done before, and already Broun's sitting another session out again?

    Republicans like these are so predictable, they've become their own worst imitation brand.

  • Here in Georgia, we like our politicians the way Waffle House likes its coffee. Weak and bitter.☕

  • Imagine a Demoncrat staying in his or her office to tweet instead of attending one of Dubya's "terrorists will kill you" fap-fests in joint session. IOKIYAR.

  • SorosBot

    “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism,”

    Um, even ignoring the fact that Obama's centrist policies are nowhere near socialism, that's kind of a non sequitor since one could easily support both the Constitution and socialism.

    • RadioEnron9/11

      Damn, SB, this is the most frustrating part of our whole disjointed political discussion. Between the military, SS, and medicare/medicaid at least 70% of the whole federal budget is socialism, plain and simple. Further, there is nothing in that great liberal document, the Constitution, that says anything about free markets or capitalism. Backward, fallacious and simpleton statements such as the quitter doctor's encapsulate the whole problem.

  • x111e7thst

    Looks to me like Dr. Rep. Paul Broun is more likely to be hiking the Appalachian Trail with his Dominican pool boy.

  • KBJ will you be running a live tweeting of Rep. Dr. Broun's pwnhall twatting?

  • Socialism for the rich, the free market for everyone else.

    Don't both of our parties back this?

  • YouBetcha


  • They loves to call Obama a socialist. Where did that come from? Oh yeah, an off-hand remark to Joe the Plumber (GAH!) about "spreading the wealth around" so Joe's customers would have money to spend on plumbing. Yet when Michele Bachmann says something stupid … or Sarah Palin™ says something stupid … or Mitt Romney says something stupid … it's always just a slip-up after a long day, or taken out of context, or a "gotcha" question. Is it that hard to separate the wheat from the chaff in 24×7 video coverage?

    • glamourdammerung

      The part that gets me about the whining about that comment to not-Joe the non-plumber was that if there is a static amount of wealth that is never going up, then "trickle down economics" is complete nonsense. But then, when has conservatism been about any sort of logical consistency, or even logic at this point?

  • Any old excuse for a hand party.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Bet he wears a broun shirt.

  • cuzcorrelation

    At least his excuse is better than Diaperman David Vitters'.

    Good thing you gave into these Kochsuckers, Barry. A+!

  • Selfish_T

    Georgia's 10th Congressional District, the setting of such hits as "Deliverance".

  • fletc3her

    Maybe Rep. Broun would attend if he could be assured he wasn't going to have to shake hands or share a water fountain with the president.

  • glamourdammerung

    Twitter really needs to kill his account, just for how fast the teabagger retards would scream about how the state would need to intervene in the matters of a private corporation.

  • glamourdammerung

    Close, but off by one hole.

    • DahBoner


  • kingcocrazy

    Thought the headline said "titty bars." Guess I'm a little distracted. Hell, I'd have a sex change, get some DD implants and WORK in a titty bar before I would watch that collection of halfwits, has-beens and never-weres debate.

  • DahBoner

    "Federal Reserve: Economy still 'subdued'"

    Republicans don't want the economy to get uppitity before the next election…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Heck of a job, Brounie. And John Boehner just idly stands there, like he has nothing to do with this, like it's somehow not his job to get these spiteful children into their seats to participate, as they were elected to do, in the world's greatest deliberative body, rather than throw tantrums like spoiled brats. Heck of a job, Orangie.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    I forget, when did people start hiring spokespeople to make press conferences about forgoing public events to hide indoors and snipe away via their computers instead?


  • ttommyunger

    Little known fact: Congressman Helmet Hair also likes his office because he can take off his helmet there.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Henceforth, Jukesgrrl would like to be referred to as Dr. Jukesgrrl and pledges she will be commenting without bureaucratic encumbrances. Freedum!

  • The words appear in in brain and are pooped out his mouth…CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!

    Well okay, they used to prescribe medicines for it, but now personality disorders are part of a viable political career.

  • Callyson

    Good article, Kirsten, but I have to say it's the lawyers' ad with the guy in bandages and holding a hammer that really makes this story great…

  • rocktonsam

    this asshole won't have to wear pants while in his office twating all alone with his pants off also

  • Come here a minute

    Aren't twitter bars the places where GOPers go to "pound Perry" before driving home drunk with one of the "dancers".

  • Dexter Linwood

    Not much snark; Broun is one of the most vile in a body composed of every vile people. I don't at all feel guilty for believing him to be a secret Klansman.

  • Dexter Linwood

    So, anyone want to guess how many times "nigger" is tweeted during Mr. Broun's Twitter townhall?

    Hey, anyone want to crash this townhall and ask all kind of inappropriate Wonkette-based questions?

  • 7spiderrico

    Whatever happened to Candidate Obama? He was once Kennedy-esque (before Arnold married into them). He was cool, good-looking, and had a wife with Jackie-O stature and the cutest kids ever dreamed up by Central Casting. Nowadays, President Obama is so busy kowtowing to the GOP that he forgot what night he wanted to go before Congress to speak to America. Candidate Obama almost certainly would have told Speaker Boehner that he's sorry that the GOP and tea partiers can't attend the session. No hard feelings. But, regardless, the President of the United States will be speaking in the House Chamber Sept. 7. Please understand that for the cameras, we can't have empty seats. So unemployed people from across the country will be grateful for a chance to sit so close to the president, and perhaps ask a question or two.

  • Terry

    How about he be required to skip every vote, in addition to every speech?

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