Add to Flipboard Magazine.

READY AIM FIRE. No, wait.Texas, Texas, burning down, where o where can the federal government be found? Rick “just secede already” Perry is all bent out of shape because, God, these idiots, the feds are too busy with their red tape to help Rick Perry do war on the enormous wildfires trying to swallow the entire state back into the earth. Perry requested federal assistance and giant fire-killing drones from Fort Hood that have yet to arrive, although we are not sure when he asked for it because he didn’t say, maybe a few hours ago? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. Stupid government red war tape! Keep that middle finger raised high, Rick Perry. God and the Texas state legislature that is busy cutting the firefighters’ budget by $34 million in the midst of the crisis, they will still get their high-fives.

From the Austin-American Statesman:

Three days after fires started to burn in Central Texas, Gov. Rick Perry today expressed frustration that federal firefighting support, including equipment from Fort Hood, has yet to make its way to the firefighters.

Perry said the firefighters could use heavy equipment such as bulldozers to clear fire breaks.

“It’s more difficult than it should be,”he said. “When you have people hurting, when lives are in danger, I don’t care who owns the asset.”

The Obama administration, which has already approved seven federal grants for the disaster, did not say, “you are a horrible whiny biyotch, Rick Perry,” for some reason. [Austin-American Statesman]

Previous articleObama Administration Invents Reason To Keep Troops In Iraq Forever
Next articleOh, Apparently There Is A Video Game About Murdering Tea Party Zombies