NEVER FORGET  2:27 pm September 6, 2011

Texas High School Catches Al Jazeera Terrorist Asking People About 9/11

by Ken Layne

Don't mess with Texas.Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school district bureaucrats in the Texan town of Booker threw a Brazilian journalist out of a high school football game, because he works for Al Jazeera. And they caught him just before he planted bombs beneath the bleachers asked some people about the 10-year anniversary of 9/11.

Gabriel Elizondo was attempting to do some “ask the regular folks” drive-across-Texas journalism. But when he gave the school lady his business card and she saw he worked for Al Jazeera, she ran for the school superintendent. And he told Elizondo to get lost, quick, because of what Elizondo’s people had done. (Brazilians did 9/11!)

He then said something I could not entirely make out, because his voice sort of quivered from a combination of being obviously furious and nervous at the same time.

But I am pretty sure he said:

“I think it was damn rotten what they did.”

“I am sorry, what who did?” I say, not sure exactly if he was calling me rotten, the terrorists rotten, Al Jazeera rotten, or all of the above.

“The people that did this to us,” he says back to me with a smirk, still glaring uncomfortably straight at my eyes.

“Well, I think it was bad too,” I say. “Well, do you think, sir, we can film a bit of the game and talk to some people here about just that?”

“No. You can’t film, you can’t take pictures, or interview people.”

Isn’t this a scene from Borat? Probably. Anyway, it serves this Brazilian smart-aleck right, making white people uncomfortable in Texas. Imagine the existential guilt that weighs heavily upon the middle-aged Texan male of today, knowing that the entire Saudi Arabian oil industry that gave birth to Osama bin Laden and most of the named 9/11 hijackers was actually created by Texans, when America ran out of oil 50 years ago! Imagine that! [Al Jazeera via Yahoo News]

 
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{ 183 comments }

littlebigdaddy September 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Ay-rabs is trying to steal our freedumbs and football! How many is a Brazilian anyways?

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

None, if the wax lady told me the truth.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Et tu, Fare?

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Hey, I gotta do some maintenance too. I am fast approaching 24, which qualifies me for a senior citizen's discount in twink circles.

Or maybe I totally misinterpreted that and TMI'd all over your face.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Oh, now I'm fascinated, please, more.

You can never have too many twinks TMI'ing all over your face, especially if you're a depraved, ancient, hentai, porn-loving perv.

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 3:25 pm

So you are a professional swimmer? Don't worry, Michael Phelps is 26, so you've got a few years left!

Or did I miss something?

BarryOPotter September 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

How many is a Brazilian anyways?

'Bout a Donna…

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I say the same thing to Fox Newsies.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 6, 2011 at 6:44 pm

FlV, you're famous over at slate: slatest.slate.com/.

MLHencken September 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Never mind Al Jazeera, they allow Brazilians in Texas?

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Texans call 'em "Southern Mexicans."

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

And Argentinians in North Carolina. Just ask Mark "King David" Sanford, ex-gov.

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm

How that mopey-faced sack ever pulled a hot South American babe confuses and angers me.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm

And she's muy caliente, too. Life is not fair, my friend.

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Plus, his ex-wife is stuck raising five or seven mopey-faced boys who look exactly like Sanford.

OneDollarJuana September 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Only at the beach or poolside.

hagajim September 6, 2011 at 3:43 pm

As long as they aren't "Bro"zilians….you know them Texans can't tolerate hairless balls…

Fred_Wertham_Jr September 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

So Texas did 9/11? Makes sense to me.

bumfug September 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Yeah, why not? They killed Kennedy.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Or so the Germans would have us believe.

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I thought that, after all, it was you and me.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Heh.

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

But I for one love what the Brazilians have done for us; I've seen some of the 70s porn, and all that hair is just icky.

Chillwaver September 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Al Jizzera.

RadioEnron9/11 September 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Yeah, get on over to the nearest landing strip and get out of Bush cuntry stranger!11!

Fred_Wertham_Jr September 6, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Damn kids. Makes me glad we used up all the fucking.

DaSandman September 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Does anything ever happen in Texas that is not offensive, vile, stupid or depraved?

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Not since Molly Ivins died, no.

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I miss Ann Richards, too.

JustPixelz September 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm

They call it "The One Star State" for a reason.

littlebigdaddy September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Yeah, it's the US America's own Motel 6.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

"We'll leave the gurney out for you."

RadioEnron9/11 September 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Austin City Limits?

iburl September 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Palin is not from Texas.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2011 at 6:04 pm

There's always Willie Nelson — a strong argument for permitting the state to exist.

bumfug September 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

"Al Qaeda, Al Jazeera, they're all the same in my book! Now git outta my town, terryist!"

JustPixelz September 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Not to mention "Al Franken", "Al Gore" and "Al Bania". But they loves them the "Al Ammo" and "Al Yukoneet".

Tundra Grifter September 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Doesn't look good for Al Fresco, either.

LesBontemps September 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

But Al Cohol is always popular.

genxr September 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Especially in the dry counties!

Tundra Grifter September 6, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Next time I sign a Michele Bachmann petition, it's going to be "Al E. Cat."

Or, to really freak 'em out, "Ali Kat."

Dexter Linwood September 7, 2011 at 4:01 am

You know, Al Paso isn't all that bad

Not_So_Much September 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Al Bundy — whatevs.

FlownOver September 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Al Jardine is on the bubble.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Journalizin' while brown?

Not in Texass, Mister Elizondo (IF that is your real name!!!1!).
~

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Plus, you know, that name. It just screams "illegal alien," or whatever.

smashaduck September 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm

To be fair, searching for "regular folks" in Texas is somewhat suspicious behavior.

SudsMcKenzie September 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm

What did he expect from the regular folks of Booker, a laurel and hearty handshake?

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Only if he's near.

donner_froh September 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Of course the guy is an Ay-rab terrorist. Even in Texas they know that the only people from Brazil are supermodels and soccer players.

Fawkdifiknow September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

And, that Brazilian would have got the Bernanke treatment if he had told those meatheads that he was there to convert their star football player into a soccer player.

kissawookiee September 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

“No. You can’t film, you can’t take pictures, or interview people.”

And somehow forbidding said filming, interviewing, and picturing resulted in the Texans looking a Brazilian times worse than they would have if the filming had been allowed to go forward. Can't explain it.

comrad_darkness September 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

It's like he doesn't know what's in the constitution that he pretends to hump every night.

GregComlish September 7, 2011 at 3:32 am

I respectfully disagree. Texas would have fucked it up even more if the interviews had proceeded.

GuyClinch September 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Friday Night Slights

WinterOuthouse September 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm

The most horrible things happen in Texas

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm

James Byrd agrees. :-(

comrad_darkness September 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm

So, that's a real Texas welcome. Glad they raised the speed limit, then the Texans can sever your head sooner. That's what they there call Humanitarian.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I'm so proud of this country right now.

Let's all sing the Star Spangled Pledge of the Constitution together, as white American Jesus taught us.

USA! USA! USA!
~

peaceocrap September 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm

You're not allowed to ask people questions here. Where do you think you are, someplace where the freedom of the press is guaranteed right in our founding document?

comrad_darkness September 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm

You know the Super is a right winger because he peed his pants when faced with one of Them. Or a Brazilian journalist. Whichever. The only rational reaction to anything confusing, utter terror!

Redhead September 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm

The only rational reaction to anything brown, utter terror!

Fixed.

donner_froh September 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm

It didn't have anything to do with 9/11–the Brazilian guy wasn't showing the proper respect for the one true religion in Texas–high school footballs.

x111e7thst September 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

They should have shot that Brazilian, just like the Brits did.

Barrelhse September 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Fuck Texas.
Right, God?

comrad_darkness September 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

If "fuck"=="burn it to the ground", sure

OneDollarJuana September 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Looks like he's working on it.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 6, 2011 at 3:07 pm

A hurricane in the NE is God's warning to Obummer to lower taxes for the Koch bros. Fire and drought disaster in Texas is a librul conspiracy and needz moar prayin'

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Actually, I think Biel_ze_Bubba is in charge of that project.

Although God, apparently, gave permission. So, yeah. Fuck Texas.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Merely a consultant.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Sometimes, Biely, you make me sweat.

littlebigdaddy September 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Ironically, a lot of that "free gay porn" they're always downloading in the Bible Belt is Brazilian.

comrad_darkness September 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm

And these are the ignorant fuckwads in charge of Texas education. Congratulations Texas.

SudsMcKenzie September 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Dumb as a Texas school book.

DaRooster September 6, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Kinda liberal with that "education" me thinks.

Eve8Apples September 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm

"And he told Elizondo to get lost, quick, because of what Elizondo’s people had done. (Brazilians did 9/11!)"

It's a crying shame that a Texas school superintendent could not correctly identify the location of Brazil on a world map. Miss South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton shares her thoughts on the subject:

“I personally believe, that U.S. Americans,
are unable to do so,
because uh,
some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps.
and uh…
I believe that our education like such as in South Africa,
and the Iraq,
everywhere like such as…
and, I believe they should uh,
our education over here,
in the U.S. should help the U.S.
or should help South Africa,
and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future,
for us.”

littlebigdaddy September 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Sounds like S.P.

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Nice to know some things never change. Swap out "Gabriel Elizondo," "Al Jazeera," and "Texas" for "Robert Frank," "The Americans," and "Arkansas," and you get:

http://www.petapixel.com/2011/03/07/photographer-

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Can we not bomb Brazil? I was kind of hoping to take a trip there some day.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

We could, but wouldn't that cause problems with your planned trip? Or do you like visiting war zones?

Besides, Brazil has a bunch of money right now, and might bomb us back, or sabotage our steaks, or something.

BTWBFDIMHO September 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I wish my car runs on caipirinha, so we can invade Brazil.

neiltheblaze September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

I'll bet that journalist guy didn't have his papers or anything.

HelmutNewton September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Is that a picture of Elizondo?!? Someone should have told him to wait to eat the cute white children until AFTER he finished the interview.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

You talk about Comrade Hector as if he had nothing but time. Comrade Hector is a busy man! He has to eat on the run!

And boy did he have to run.

BarackMyWorld September 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

We should send Flavor Flav to ask people what they think about 9-11.

JustPixelz September 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I can appreciate their apprehension. That whole 9/11 thing happened in the United States of America. Texans try not to get too involved in foreign affairs.

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

And then they commenced to lynchin' an Al Gebra teacher.

Mort_Sinclair September 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm

And Texas then commenced amassing Rangers on the Al Abama border (I know…I know).

Dexter Linwood September 7, 2011 at 4:04 am

They called in strike brigades from Christian Caliphate (I know, I know) of Al Aska.

comrad_darkness September 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm

OMG. Sarah Palin is Head of the Al Aska Martyr's Brigade. *happy dance*

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Well it was invented by Arab Muslims.

DerrickWildcat September 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Fuckin' gotcha questions.

elviouslyqueer September 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I would not have changed my mind about allowing you to just drop by and interview people and film our students. We did not have prior notice and we certainly did not have time to verify who you were. Also, I would have asked you not to do those things at a public event, on public property and at a public school function. If you had done these, then the FERPA rights for our students would very well have been violated, especially for the students whose parents have signed papers not allowing the pictures of their children on the web.

FERPA? Really? Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see how anything Mr. Elizondo was doing has anything remotely to do with FERPA.

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

This is Texas, so I'm sure there's never any media coverage of their high school football games normally.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm

One of the kids might have mentioned that he was in 2nd grade in 2001, which would have been an incredible breach of privacy.

Guppy06 September 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm

First time ever a Texan gave a damn about federal law.

SorosBot September 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Since the story is on Yahoo news, I'm betting there's some horrifically offensive comments on the first page. Now to check…

And yep!

"Its freaking al jazzer!!!!! They host taliban battleplans on their servers come on!!!!!!!! Lucky he hasnt gotten shot yet"

"Gabriel Elizondo, a Brazil-based correspondent for Al Jazeera…..is very jealous of America's success as leader of the free world and wants to start trouble….DEPORT THIS SCUMBAG RIGHT NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!"

"lets see
you have no spin but your own
or al yaziras spin
as they says in texas
if it looks like shit
and smells like shit
then dont step in it
shitttt!"

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Jezus. That place really is populated by the worst yahoos.

fuflans September 6, 2011 at 3:24 pm

and of course, brazil is actually doing quite well right now thank you. weathered the global meltdown far better that good ole us america.

and prettier.

Chillwaver September 6, 2011 at 3:35 pm

It's the trolls that are still running windows 95 and have yahoo.com set as their home page. Here's another one:

"Who the fuck cares what a "reporter" from al jazeera says, writes or thinks? Look at the footage al jazeera showcased on 9/11, then tell me they don't have a spin. Fuck a camel jockey."

KenLayIsAlive September 6, 2011 at 6:55 pm

"is very jealous of America's success as leader of the free world".

Oh puh-leaze.

nappyduggs September 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Ewww weee. That new Texas Chamber of Commerce campaign is comin' on like gangbusters;

Texas: Becoming Less Impressive Than You Ever Imagined Anyplace Could Possibly Be."

Buckminster September 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Texas: Come for the catastrophic forest fires, stay for the bigotry and the ignorance.

prommie September 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Shit, this must mean he missed the running of the jews, during half-time.

Tundra Grifter September 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Speaking of Brazilians, time to re-visit the best Wonkette photo EVER!
http://wonkette.com/244937/brazilian-protest-gals

Bonzos_Bed_Time September 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
It’s length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan.
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan industry best in the world.
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course Turkmenistan’s

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown.
Come grasp the might phenis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!

slithytoves September 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I call bullshit. Like Texas gives a fuck what happens in the Northeast. They've made that clear enough.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Dude wanted to get to know the "real" Texas, and here t'was. Like it? (Disclaimer: I have very very very cool family in Ft Worth, so obligatory not everybody sucks, etc – says the gal from AL, derp)

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Al Derp is one of the least effective terrorist groups. Every single one of their plots has been foiled.

baconzgood September 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"FUCK TEX-ASS!!! LET GOD SORT IT OUT"

-Bacon "a proud Yankee" Zgood-

ArmoredLibunatic September 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

The comments on the Yahoo posting where I saw this first stirred that old feeling again. The one of bottomless darkness and dimensionless despair for The Great U.S. of A.

This is why we can't have nice things, America! /drinkatwork

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

I'm not even at work, and I want a drink.

OneYieldRegular September 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The Alamo – never forget.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Wait, isn't that some kinda Ay-rab word, like Al Qaeda or Al Gore or Al Gebra?

Dexter Linwood September 7, 2011 at 4:08 am

I always forget to fill back up the tank.

MissusBarry September 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Brown person Brazilian, brown person Ay-rab. Po-ta-to, po-tah-to.

Tundra Grifter September 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Iceburg, Ginsberg – What's the difference?

LiveToServeYa September 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm

..and then they hauled him away and gave him a bikini wax, which was the only thing they knew about his country of origin, before running him out of town.

Redhead September 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm

“Well, do you think, sir, we can film a bit of the game and talk to some people here about just that?”

And that's your mistake. You shouldn't have asked; you should have simply informed him that, as a journalist working for a legitimate news organization, you had every right to film, interview and report anything happening in a public place.

And, just because I'm an ass, I probably would have added, "And yes, GWB, they DO have blacks in Brazil too, but because Brazil's on a totally different continent than Afghanistan, they actually had nothing to do with 9/11."

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm

It is nice to know that some place in America has held on to the feeling that swept this country immediately after 9/11…., Irrational Xenophobia, Racism and Paranoia combined with with an inability to distinguish one brown person from another.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I have it on good authority that we all look alike.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

And won't the superintendent feel foolish when the bugs send an asteroid into South America giving us an excuse for our next glorious war?

fletc3her September 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Now if everyone would just start reacting the exact same way when FOX reporters show up the world would be a better place.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm

So, like, this is on Al-Jazeera's site now, where the whole world can read it?

Can Texas please secede now? And if not, can we just, like kick the whole state out? We'll keep Austin …

DaRooster September 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm

"By the way… I am Brazilian… and this ain't football."

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Texans like their football with more head trauma.

DaRooster September 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

And man hugs…

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Looks more like man-ass-pats to me, but WTF do I know?

El Pinche September 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I believe Bill Hicks referred to places like that as "pockets of humanity."

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I'm thinkin' Bill had spelling issues. He musta meant "pusbags of humanity."

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm

"Taking pictures at Texas high school football games is unlawful? Since fucking when?"

Boom. And that's how you push back, Brazilian guy.

MiniMencken September 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Stupid is as stupid does…

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Hell, they tried openin' one of them there Brazilian steakhouses in Texas, but the customers kept shootin' at the gauchos with the swords-full-of-meat!

iburl September 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Buddy Holly

Nostrildamus September 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm

It's easy to think this was just a lone nitwit that confused "Al Jazeera" with "Al Qaeda", but Rumsfeld made a point of condemning Al Jazeera in the same breath as Al Qaeda to demonize the organization at every press conference from 2002-2004. This incident is a direct, desired result of his action plan.

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Rummy also bombed their bureau offices at every opportunity, no snark, no shit.

Pat_Pending September 6, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Al Jazeera, Al Qaeda, Al Franken, Al Gore, Al Davis, Al Michaels, Al Yankovic, Al Pacino, Al Roker, Al Sharpton, Al Lewis, Al Fresco, Al Batross, Al Dente…

THIS IS TEXAS. THROW 'EM ALL OUT.

DaRooster September 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I'm all for getting rid of Al Imony…

gurukalehuru September 6, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Al Abama, Algebra and Al iens. What about the reporter himself, Gabriel Al-Isondo

Estproph September 6, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Texas: It's like a whole other mental disorder

__kth__ September 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Pretty sure he lost the school secretary at 'Elizondo'.

Terry September 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Yes, obviously, the Moooslims are casing high school football games in West bumf#@k, Texas. It's the next obvious place to hit.

weejee September 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Terry, is it because there is a prickly pear shortage in Mecca?

weejee September 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Portuguese is not the same thing as Spanish, and Brazilian Portuguese is stranger still. But since the the superintendent is clearly a Kochsucker cockroach…

♪♫ La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar
porque no tiene, porque le falta
marihuana pa' fumar ♫♪

DaRooster September 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"Texas is facing a few challenges right now —…"

Most of them Mental…

gurukalehuru September 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

It's not just Texas. High School principals everywhere are jerks.

DashboardBuddha September 6, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Word. The only way a teacher can move from the classroom to the main office is by having every shred of decency surgically removed. (I've had some bad experiences – ymmv)

prommie September 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm

But, but, but, they all have Ed.D.s, gosh, golly, doesn't an Ed.D. mean anything?

OneYieldRegular September 6, 2011 at 3:28 pm

This will be a *wonderful* lesson for the students that they can take into their adult lives.

fuflans September 6, 2011 at 3:29 pm

i have al jazeera bookmarked. i like to conspicuously display it when wingtard friends visit.

oh wait, no that never happens. i don't have any of those friends.

DailyGrumbles September 6, 2011 at 3:29 pm

NEW YORK CITY??? Get a DOPE!!!

Wonderthing September 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm

From the Al Jazeera story's comments page:

"Gee, I wonder how well we are accepted Bible in hand in a Muslim country like Saudi Arabia ? "

Kuz that guy, that moolsum was carrying a copy of koran and tried to shove it up the superintendent's butt. that's what i heard anyway later when i was drunk and trying to get drunker….

genxr September 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I suppose it would be useless to point out that Al Jazeera rails against the tyranny of the Saudi ruling family, and Saudi Arabia has been trying to silence them for years.

No, you dumb hick, Al Jazeera isn't welcome in Saudi Arabia either.

Dexter Linwood September 7, 2011 at 4:12 am

That's the crazy thing. Al Jazeera is far less religiously bent than say FOX; in fact, the entire point of Al Jazeera is to start a tradition of free press in the Arabic-speaking world, but if its Arabic it must be Muslim, right?

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:38 pm

That's the kind of comment that, when you read it, your brain stops functioning for a few moments and you hang suspended in time as it splutters and stutters and then finally, a spark catches and you think, "Holy fuck, did I really read that? Better not look. It'll break my brain again."

genxr September 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Post this story on redstate and everyone there will wonder why the school officials were so kind to him, and then start a mass rabid anti-mooslem circle jerk. They don't confuse Al Jazeera and Al Qaeda, they deliberately conflate the two.

fuflans September 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

so reading between the lines here, it seems that texas is like an advanced breed of orcs that were spawned out of mud.

i'm good with that.

ArmoredLibunatic September 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I'd sooner hang out with the orcs, either LotR or WH40K varieties. These dunces are all of the WAAAGH!!! and none of the humor.

BTWBFDIMHO September 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

- "Mr. Principal, I'm here to distribute some Al-Zheimer's brochures."
- "Mrs. González, call 911 right now!"

pinkocommi September 6, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Terrorists inspire fear and anger. The reporter Elizondo inspired fear and anger in the Texan school superintendent. Ergo, the reporter Elizondo is a terrorist.

That, my dear friends, is Texan logic and singlehandedly explains why we have so many fucking Teatards in Texas and beyond.

hagajim September 6, 2011 at 3:44 pm

So why was some dude who had his balls and ass waxed asking questions about 9/11 anyway?

el_donaldo September 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm

During the invasion of Iraq, coalition forces were directed to fire on Al Jazeera journalists attempting to cover the invasion. So technically they are the enemy.

Buckminster September 6, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Oh, and if they weren't involved in the bombing of the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, where did Al Qaida get those brazillians of dollars?

Guppy06 September 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm

This is the kind of learned and informed school administration you get when you spend 125% of your education budget on football.

Though I guess even that is a necessary evil, or their entire student body would end up home-schooled.

Guppy06 September 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm

I roll down my window. “Excuse me, where is the local high school?” I ask a woman at a stop sign.

Y'know, maybe he was just a little skeevy?

BklynIlluminati September 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I always knew Gisele Bundchen was shady no one ever listens around here!

mavenmaven September 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm

It was the furners that done 9/11, that's all.

zhubajie September 6, 2011 at 6:19 pm

They had cognitive dissonance: A Latino reporter for Al-Jazeera!

KenLayIsAlive September 6, 2011 at 7:07 pm

If they could tell the difference between brown people, I'd say you might be on to something.

I recall as an Italian in West Texas PE class that I couldn't be on the "white people" baseball team because I was Mexican, and I couldn't be on the "Mexican" baseball team because I was white. They were soon to discover I shouldn't be on either team because I "suck at baseball".

zhubajie September 6, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Isn't Al-Jazeera funded by the monarch of Qatar? One of our allies? I believe the Persian Gulf Fleet is based out of Qatar.

AlaskaGrrl September 6, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Getting turned down by the superintendent was really a good thing. A whole crowd of Texas "educated" white folk hopped up on All 'Merican Football, sounds like a lynch mob waiting for a brown person to happen by.

rickmaci September 6, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Wonder if the supe like sukkar in his arabica blend qahwa? Maybe he just drinks good old all American Tea or Kool-aid.

a_pink_poodle September 6, 2011 at 11:32 pm

It's obvious now; we need to free the crap out of Brazil!

Dexter Linwood September 7, 2011 at 3:56 am

Anyway, it serves this Brazilian smart-aleck right, making white people uncomfortable in Texas.

"Making white people uncomfortable in Texas" is a capitol offense, down there, I hear.

Welcome to America, Mr. Elizondo. Everything's bigger in Texas, even the xenophobia.

Dr_pangloss September 7, 2011 at 5:41 am

I'm surprised the Texas superintendant didn't call him an "illigal" and tell him to "git Out".

ttommyunger September 7, 2011 at 1:43 pm

As a Georgia resident I record Al Jazeera English daily (LinkTV on DirecTV, Ch. 375) and get its twitter feed. I frequently retweet and post their articles on facebook. I'm pretty sure I'm under official scrutiny, but the locals here couldn't find a bale of hay in a telephone booth, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:26 pm

A passel of 'em anyway. Can't feel too sorry for multimillionaire ex-wifey, though. She's got herself a hot boyfriend now, and the kids are pretty grown. Meanwhile, Sanford's career is totes down the tubes, but his protege Nikki (I'm WHITE, honest!) Haley can probly sneak him in the back door in her cronyish way.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:28 pm

He's lucky they didn't send him to Libya.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I'll be right over with my cat carrier, toots.

Chet Kincaid September 6, 2011 at 3:40 pm

OMG, Sanford was tappin' Nikki too?! The Appalachian Trail is code for the Sikh Chute?!

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Daddy!!

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Game, set, MATCH.

Pristine_ODummy September 6, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Is there anybody in South Carolina who ain't tapping Nikki? That gal's just about trawlin' the streets dragging men into her SUV and climbing them for a quick schtup.

Teh rumour is that he *was* doing her, though, since she's the only aide who ever got herself a first class airline seat (with da Guv) on any of his travels. Oh, yeah, and she's a Methodist, now, not a Sikh, or so she says.

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