satan is real

‘Dancing With the Stars’ Releases Chilling Image of Satan (Nancy Grace)

On the 31st floor, a gold-plated door, won't keep out the Lord's burning rain ....Monstrous trash-cable crime-porn death-beast Nancy Grace is joining the noxious reality-celeb ritual gyration glitter program Dancing With the Stars. This is Living Proof that Satan is real and amongst us, today. Americans watch THIRTY-SIX HOURS OF TEEVEE per week, every week, on their slow Rascal-assisted journey to the Medicare Crematorium, so it’s very likely that almost every American will at least see a “promo” for this wretched shit circus. Would you like to see a large, horrifying press photograph of Nancy Grace on Dancing With the Stars? We guarantee it will almost make you forget the painful image of a tiny Hollywood dancer man struggling to hoist Teen Mom star Bristol Palin closer to the klieg lights, so that she might burn like some slob Icarus in the global warming Midnight Sun of trailer park apocalypse.

Anyway, here you go! Enjoy the night terrors during your last months on Earth:

Down we go, Down we go, Down we go, The Devil and me! Down we go, down down down! Hell fire and flames, Down we go, Down we go!The real problem, of course, is that some jobless illiterate teens will see a transsexual on this same show (and how would anyone tell?) and then the jobless illiterate teens will become transsexuals, too. And this will matter in some important way, because it will be immense diabetic transsexuals crashing Hoverounds outside the SONIC drive-thru instead of the “reg’lr kind.” [Via Cajun Boy]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Kill it!!! Kill it with fire!!!

    • DahBoner

      I wouldn't get any open flames any where near that….

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Can't we just use ten-foot poles with sharp stickers on the ends?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Never mind the fire … the moment she's spotted in Texas from an airplane, she's done for.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Er … pour quois?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          She'll be chased across the fields by "pork choppers" — and I can't see her getting far in those heels.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            Holy gee, Biely, that's downright cruel. I love it.

        • Dexter Linwood

          Feral hogs, my dear. Feral hogs.

          • Pristine_ODummy

            Thank you, Dexter. She certainly looks the part.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Zaftig.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Except, it's to the nth power.

  • Tengu

    BANG… and now I'm gay.

    • DaRooster

      Fuckin A…

    • Fare la Volpe

      Meetings are on Tuesdays at the Backdoor Inn. Clothing optional.

    • Not_So_Much

      Right? My junk is so far up inside my chest cavity that I'm having trouble breathing…

      • Crank_Tango

        oh see I just thought it was a dude in a dress, so problems there. I mean shit, she looks like a linebacker with implants, amirite?

        • Not_So_Much

          Alex Karras, but with more facial and back hair.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Me too. But then I looked at Kortney (again!) and I am cured.

    • jjdaddyo

      Oh sure, just because you have a TG person on the show, now you have to let tranny hookers on, too?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I just gave up the whole "bisexual" end of the LGBTQ spectrum.

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    I will bet $1,000,000,000 that those cankles were photoshopped out.

    • Not_So_Much

      Whoops, I should read *all* the posts before I tromp all over one.

      But seriously, wouldn't they be less elephantine if they did?

      • FidoMcCokefiend

        Just imagine what they looked like to start with, if this is what they stopped at?

      • Fare la Volpe

        It's Photoshop, not the Hands of God.

        • Not_So_Much

          Fair point. Probably only Leatherface could take them down any further — and I honestly don't like his chances against her.

        • FrenchTwist40

          Although it almost looks like they took all of the flesh that had been Photoshopped off of the assorted actresses, tween singers and adolescent models, and glued it randomly to her body. Like it might be Buffalo Bill's Chunky Girlsuit.

  • neiltheblaze

    Well, you know, she *could* use the exercise.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I pity her partner.

  • Pragmatist2

    The only image I want to see of Nancy Grace has a caption which reads:"Exploiter of other peoples misery found dead at Caribbean bondage club."

    • Dexter Linwood

      ROTFLMAO!

  • DahBoner

    Yeah, instead of a coat check room, it looks like Dancing With The Stars needs a junk check room for the dude-chicks…

  • Barrelhse

    Nancy, maybe, but Grace? Now you've made me laugh.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Nancy will win DWTS by rage bullying the other contestants until they kill themselves.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      At least until Chaz sits on her.

  • FNMA

    Jesus fuck.
    That's all.

  • genxr

    Dancing with Cows

  • chascates

    And if you see a two-headed Martian on national teevee you might think "hey, that's acceptable. I'll just become a two-headed Martian. Thanks liberal media for helping me change."

  • Not_So_Much

    Holy fuckballs. If someone is going to go that far with Photoshop, they should at least have the courtesy to reduce her powerful, galumphing cankles to a circumference less than, say, your average pork roast.

    • jodyleek

      And you just know she was wearing several pieces of supportive undergarments to reign in all that. When she removed them (ugh – don't think about it!) it must have been like that episode of Gilligan's Island, when the homemade glue that they used to repair the hull of the SS Minnow let loose.

  • HelmutNewton

    The horror……the horror……

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    She's pretty hot!

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah! I've been known to enjoy the oversized saddle on occasion.

    • LesBontemps

      Has she been soaked with kerosene and set ablaze?

    • arihaya

      hot as in Texas forest fire ?

  • DaRooster

    "Is that an Oompa Loompa Mommy?"
    "No… it is just a mean, spiteful bitch… eat your pudding."

  • Fare la Volpe

    That push-up's not pushing up enough.

    • DaRooster

      But I think it "pulled around" quite a bit.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Needs more titanium.

    • Dexter Linwood

      Gravity is a powerful and unforgiving mistress.

  • Mahousu

    Occult revival? A little late for Christine O'Donnell, sorry.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Hey! Watch what you're … wut? Oh. Never mind.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I think that's the ballerina lady that was Natalie Portman's stunt double. The lady that really did all the dancing.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Buxom !

    • DaRooster

      Buck some?

      • Swampgas_Man

        She should buck off.

    • not that Dewey

      I was thinking "manxome".

  • Steverino247

    I knew she had no shame, but did I need to see photographic evidence? Uh, no.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Why'd they photoshop Nancy Grace's head onto Ahnold "The Sperminator" Blackhead's body?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      It's the only thing they could find massive enough to hold up that skull.

      Well, and dinosaurs, but those are, like, in museums already, and stuff.

  • edgydrifter

    At some point she'll have to drop that "hips going left, shoulders going right" pose and listen to the gasps of horror as her waist magically disappears.

  • Redhead

    Damn, not that she was hot to start with, but she looks like she ATE Bristol. Lady packed on a few (hundred) pounds.

    (PS – Ken, this post was awesomesauce and makes me wish you posted more!)

    • Dexter Linwood

      She didn't gain weight; like most tv hosts, she's just shot better for her own show. You know, seated, and from the chest up.

  • HistoriCat

    I find that picture difficult impossible to masturbate to.

    • DaRooster

      Turn around the monitor.

    • prommie

      I may never masturbate again.

      • DahBoner

        I'm saving it all for the Bristol reruns….

    • Pristine_ODummy

      You need to find you a smaller pussy than Nance.

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      A true devotee to the art can masturbate to ANYTHING.

      • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

        Including The View?

        • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

          Once you learn to harness you inner-porn, even the view is beatable. Truly, the sound of one hand fapping.

          • Dexter Linwood

            Even The Talk? How about Murder She Wrote?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Id rather watch Judge Judy work the pole.

    • BornInATrailer

      And I'd rather work my pole watching Judge Judy.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Sir – Sir!! Did I say you could touch yourself?! A DOLLAR? Don't jizz on my leg and tell me it's raining!"

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Sweet CHRIST, Suds! Now I'm feeling *really* squirmish.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    They have a different definition of, "Star" than I do.

    • poorgradstudent

      Seriously. The show just needs to called Dancing With The "Stars".

    • SorosBot

      Hey, I've actually heard of six of the "stars" for this year, which is more than usual for that show. Granted, most of them haven't been relevant since the 90s, but still…

    • Swampgas_Man

      She's in the public eye, like a sharp stick.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Dancing with the Steers.

    • ThankYouJeebus

      Only 2 things from Georgia are steers and shrieking dome-headed harpies.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Contest over. We have a winner!

  • superdave

    Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

    • jus_wonderin

      That won me.

    • MozakiBlocks

      Slow golf clap…

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    I'm waiting for the DWTS Also-Rans sub-series where she's paired with Tom Delay. Will she tango or indict him? Tune in to see!

  • Troglodeity

    AUUUGHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!

  • mookwrthwilson

    Booze and Hotpants!!!

  • Tundra Grifter

    I'd like to see a photo of the head that originally went with that body.

    Meanwhile, does anyone else remember the account of a hotel one-night stand with Nancy Grace that appeared here a year or two ago?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      You shouldn'ta reminded us, Tundra. Not with that photo before our eyes, anyway.

  • edgydrifter

    Given her bulldog tenacity (and jawline), one the DWTS dancers must be her prime-target suspect in Jon Benet's murder.

    • Dexter Linwood

      What? Is Natalee Holloway chopped liver? Jon Benet is so 1990's.

  • LiveToServeYa

    At long last, have we left no sense of decency?

  • LesBontemps

    RIP, American popular culture.

    • Fare la Volpe

      How can you kill that which never lived?

      • LesBontemps

        Well, I grew up with Lenny Bernstein and Nelson Riddle on the teevee, Top 40 on the AM, "free-form" on the FM, Andy Warhol on the walls, Ken Kesey on the bookshelf and Abbie Hoffman in the streets. So it's not like there were never signs of life. But I'm pretty sure that picture above — and all it represents — is the end.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    I think we now know where all the missing white women went. Straight to her thighs! She a big, hungry, big hungry girl, is what I'm saying.

  • prommie

    I would not hit that, not on a bet,
    I would not hit that, don't you fret.
    I would not hit that on a train
    I would not hit that in the state of Maine.
    I would not hit that in the hall,
    there isn't enough alcohol.
    I would not hit that on a dare,
    I wouldn't even want to see her bare.
    I wouldn't hit it in the dark
    I wouldn't hit it in the park.
    I wouldn't hit it from behind,
    view, I think, would be most unkind.
    I wouldn't hit it with a hammer,
    I'd rather spend life in the slammer.
    Not even with a ten-foot Lousiville slugger
    would I touch that odious, nasty mugger.

    • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

      Win!!

      (You know you'd hit it…with a 2 x 4.)

      • prommie

        An 11-foot 2×4. Man, she should call herself "Lady Beluga."

    • proudgrampa

      For the freakin' win!

      Really, prommie, you should get your own blog. Your talents need to be enjoyed by a much larger audience.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Absolute upfists for this, prommie.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I don't watch DWTS. Have they ever had any of the couples dance to the 80s one-hit wondersong, "Waiting for a Star to Fall"?

    Maybe they should consider that now.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    The Detroit Lions should draft her. Imagine her as the other DT with Ndamukong Suh.
    The Lions would be a QB killing machine!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Who's going to be her partner – Caveman Tumak? She looks like she's about to be plucked off by a pterodactyl.

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      That's one strong motherfucking pterodactyl.

      • BornInATrailer

        She has a club like Captain Caveman. But when the top opens up, a blood sugar tester pops out.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    ….so that she might burn like some slob Icarus in the global warming Midnight Sun of trailer park apocalypse.

    This is why I could never quit you, Wonkette.
    ~

    • SudsMcKenzie

      He had me at "Monstrous trash-cable crime-porn death-beast".

    • Nothingisamiss

      It's a thing of beauty, it is.

  • x111e7thst

    And this Nancy person is not an immense diabetic transsexual?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Well, I'd probably agree with the "immense" part, and the "diabetic" just seems to follow, but most transsexuals are hella HOT (Ru-Paul?), and this heah just seems to be a mighty hogbeast.

  • MissusBarry

    Perhaps I know longer understand the meaning of the word "star"…aside for the celestail bodies (ok, Nancy might reach that kind of diameter), but the colloquial term referring to celebrity. I know I live in a pop culture vacuum, but I just don't think she (or most of the other people on that shit show) measures up to the definition. She can't be above, like, a U-lister in celebrity rankings.

  • proudgrampa

    Well, not exactly casabas. Watermelons!

  • BornInATrailer

    And I thought hearing about Sinead needing it regularly in the butt and having a date with a banana would be the worst piece of entertainment news I got this month.

    • prommie

      That was weird, Sinead complaining that she hasn't taken a delivery in the "tradesman's entrance" in too long.

      • BornInATrailer

        If I had known she burned for a little rusty sheriff's badge action (not you Roscoe) back when she was tearing up pope pics on SNL, yeah, nice, awesome. I like that.

        Now, just not doing much for me. It would be like learning the same info about Carrie Fisher now instead of around when Jedi came out.

  • widestanceshakedown

    How in the name of everything good in this world did someone climb atop that and commence begettin'?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Barbie designed by Shamoo.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    What she doesn't know is that her dance partner will be…Joran van der Sloot!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      FT Ultimate W!

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      You are an upfisting magnet.

    • not that Dewey

      Where are those "missing white women" stories when you need one?

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Suddenly, I feel for the little psychopath.

  • __kth__

    If she gets low scores, she'll roll her eyes like she does when some hippie says we shouldn't execute people unless we're pretty sure they're guilty.

    But it's good that she is who people think of when they think of prosecutors, because nearly all of them are just like her.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Born to shimmy.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    If you tried to dance with a star it would burn you because they are like 10,000 degrees or something.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I want to hug that poor photographer and say "It's okay, man. You did your best."

  • Goonemeritus

    I whish to God they would bring back “The Love Boat”. Back when that show was on the air you only had one show to avoid if you wanted to spare yourself the pain of watching B-list celebrities debasing themselves for one more pathetic grasp at relevance.

  • prommie

    Finally, the perfect wife for Governor Avoirdupois, Chris Christie (who, conicidentally, I saw at lunch today, lumbering into a Ewing eatery next door to the 7-11 where I was buying scratch-off lottery tickets. The place is famous for its 2-pound hamburgers; I assume he would order them by the sack).

    • LesBontemps

      Quick! Get yourself out beyond the event horizon before you're sucked into that gaping maw!

      • prommie

        You could actually see the distortion of the space-time continuum caused by his gravity well.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Their gonna need a bigger helicopter.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        A Sikorsky Troop-transport.

    • mereoblivion

      So one of those scratch-offs paid big coin, right? I mean, as compensation for enduring such a sight?

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Guys can we go easy on Nancy Grace. I'm having a rare moment of pity here.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I had a flash of that when I started the "don't pick on the fat kid" thought. But then I remembered what a horrible, soulless, hideous sack of flabby shit Nancy Grace is, and the feeling went away.

    • proudgrampa

      It's OK, Roscoe. She really is a horrible person.

    • Dexter Linwood

      My rare moment of pity for her will come when she has a rare moment of pity…so, I guess that means fucking never.

    • tcaalaw

      I'll save my sympathy for the Devil, thank you.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Dear Lord, did you have to post that photo right after lunch?

  • kateinmt

    One good tango dip and she'll smother herself.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      And land her partner in traction for 6 months.

      • Pristine_ODummy

        Damn, Chet, you're in FINE form today, man. I cannot upfist you enough.

    • genxr

      When I see her, I don't think "tango dip" I think "tangy dipping sauce"

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    That dress is very slimming.

  • Guppy06

    Wait, I thought…

    Oh, right! It's her house that has the legs of a chicken!

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      One upfist from Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky

  • nappyduggs

    I have a widescreen teevee, but there won't be any room left in the margins.

  • Guppy06

    Obligatory comic.

    Scroll to the bottom.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      S*P totally rox! BUT — that Nancy Grace is from decades ago. You can actually see her waist and her chubby little arms.

  • prommie

    Well, the image is certainly jarring, but on the plus side, we all have a sure cure for premature ejcaulation now, I am certain the memory of this photo will work better than baseball stats or anything else.

    • mereoblivion

      If the memory doesn't prevent us from even starting down that road, if you know what I mean.

  • LesBontemps

    I understand that she'll be booked for SeaWorld next.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    It is a bit odd to read about what is happening on TeeVee since we haven't had a television for eight years. Missing all those reality shows, sitcoms, cop shows, hospital shows or (particularly) shouting head news shows might slow my descent into gibbering senility–but probably not.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Relax. I got rid of mine about 20 years ago. Thank deity for Google, which explains pop cultuah references for me. And also for Netflix in case any of that teevee shit was actually worth watching. (Dexter. Yes.)

  • elviouslyqueer

    And lo, a million drag queens just shrieked "Hallelujah" in unison, for verily was their Halloween costume made.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Tap it WHERE?!

    • Dexter Linwood

      On the shoulder. That's the only kind of tapping you'll be doing with her.

    • Tundra Grifter

      First, roll in flour.

  • BombyMcGee

    dudenaw

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Evander Holyfield is on Dancing With The Stars again?

    • prommie

      More like Leon Spinks.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        I know right? I thought it was George Foreman until I looked a little closer.

  • capnhuggyface

    hoochie mama!!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    I hope her partner is someone like Lou Ferrigno. She doesn't look like she's light on her feet. Light in the head maybe, feet no.

  • BornInATrailer

    Mr. Egg Man needs to come and haul this bitch away in a wheelbarrow. Like right now.

  • mookwrthwilson

    Honestly, if it weren't for the unfortunate jawline and hairstyle, she don't look too bad for an over 50 year old woman…

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    So Lou Ferrigno has opted for a different kind of transformation?

  • LetUsBray

    Does her face ever not have that terrifying, predatory leer?

  • http://www.wonkette.com sunmusing

    A real hernia producer that one is. In more ways than one.

    So says Yoda the wise.

  • BlueStateLibel

    It's nice to see Dick Cheney back on the front cover of Time though.

  • Eve8Apples

    Audrey Hepburn = Star
    Robert Redford = Star
    Angelina Jolie = Star
    Cary Grant = Star

    Nancy Grace = Steer

    • mereoblivion

      Bum Steer

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Roll her in flower to find the wet spot if you want to tap that.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I don't believe there is that much flour in the whole world.

  • mereoblivion

    It's only fitting that the epitome of Grace is a Nancy.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      Well, yes, but not this one.

  • timbo71351

    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
    Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.

    • proudgrampa

      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
      Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.

    • Dexter Linwood

      You've won the future.

  • prommie

    She has the shape and the curves of a fucking beer keg. Jesus Fuck indeed. And that insane angry leering wild-eyed and enormous head atop the beer keg, this woman, I cannot help but marvel, this is the most repellant woman I have ever seen. Not the fattest, not the ugliest, no, just sear-your-eyeballs, pucker-your-ass, shrivel-your-dick, dry-heave inducing horrid, beastly, scarifying, horrible. She's just horrible.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      I may occasionally snark about teh fat, but some big fat women are utterly luscious.

      This one is a hosebeast. There is nothing luscious or inviting about her. More like dick-shriveling horror, as you so aptly point out.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Pick a side, Pristine! Is it broad-shouldered, smoothly-waxed pro swimmer dudes, or BBWs? I haz a gender-confused.

        • Pristine_ODummy

          The nice thing about being bi is, you're guaranteed a date on Saturday night. :)

          I haz a gender-confused also. It's pretty fun, if you just go with it.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            I will pray for you. Just shittin' ya. Enjoy!

          • Pristine_ODummy

            Pray that I get a little more, before I have to shuffle off this mortal coil. I want to die knowing I got all the hot sex I possibly could on this earth!

            Thanks, I am.

  • jus_wonderin

    Ironically, on my local NPR affiliate, Think is doing an hour on M Vick's pitbulls and how some were rehabilitated to not be fighters.

    Nancy reminds me of a pitbull.

  • SorosBot

    NSFW, NSFW!

  • poorgradstudent

    I'll only watch if she's accompanied by back-up dancers who are white 10-year old girls made out to look like zombie murder victims.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Urban Dictionary:

    In case you need a photo illustration for the definition of FUPA, look no further.

    You're welcome.

  • tyler8

    All hot straight guys: take a gander at this and welcome to our side.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Tits or GTFO! (I just threw up a little in my mouth).

  • HistoriCat

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    • fuflans

      i was 12 minutes to late.

      cheers!

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    Obviously Nancy is using some new space-age spanx prototype.

    • Pristine_ODummy

      God help us all if the thing ever pops.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I don't have a problem with her…from the neck down.

  • fuflans

    this is not a star.

    this is a whole galaxy.

  • Nostrildamus

    Needs moar gorilla suit.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    I think DWTS should invite Casey Anthony too, you know, just to mess with Nancy.

    • timbo71351

      I'm hoping either Casey Anthony is a special guest judge, or someone has to drop out and she's brought in as a last minute replacement. I want to see Nancy Grace's skull explode.

      • LesBontemps

        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.
        Please make Casey Anthony a judge. Please make Casey Anthony a judge.

  • SoBeach

    Eh. I'd hit it.

  • Slim_Pickins

    I didn't even know they had a heavyweight division on DWTS.

    "The winner and still champion, …Nannnnncy….GGGGGGrace!"

  • Mort_Sinclair

    I didn't see that coming. I really didn't. Layne, you're cruel.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Now that just ain't right.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    If her and Chaz get into the same elevator, they'd better be hoping to go down.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    On the plus side, no interstellar aliens will attack us once they get the Nancy Grace broadcasts beamed to them in Alpha Centauri or whatever. It's too hideous, even for Ballchinians

  • prommie

    She looks like Jay Leno in drag.

  • BornInATrailer

    The most disturbing aspect of this is that she's actually wearing a one-piece swimsuit. That's aaaalllll carpet. And no, they do not match the drapes in quantity, length or color. Only in cut.

  • Limeylizzie

    On behalf of the Women of Wonkette I would like to gift the men ,who may have been traumatized by her saggy breasts, some nice , really big tits from the one and only June Wilkinson, who coincidentally hails from the same town as I do. Clearly NSFW.

    http://www.bigbreastarchive.com/alphabetical/june

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The Windmill was operating in 1957? I should have been more reverent.

    • DaRooster

      Thanks Lizzie…

      • Limeylizzie

        No problem, I love her, she made a whole career based on those magnificent orbs, much as I have done , here on the Wonkette.

    • ttommyunger

      What gorgeous…..eyes.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    One, ummm….full figured gal.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    The first song she and the bodybuilder who has to hurl her around should dance to should be "Shasta Beast" by the Eagles Of Death Metal. "Stop huffin' and a'puffin' like a Shasta beast," indeed.

  • lulzmonger

    RUN UNSEE.EXE

  • Dexter Linwood

    Nancy not-so-full-of Grace.

    BTW, I have no qualms about making light (heavy?) of Nancy's physical mass. If we can make fun of Rush for being a fat, evil fuck, we can make fun of Nancy Graceless for the very same reasons.

  • Dexter Linwood

    I hope they hoist her into that dress properly. Because one mistaken wardrobe malfunction could take out the entire front row.

  • James Michael Curley

    Isn't that picture from the episode when Betty comes home to surprise Barney as a blonde and finds him doing it dino style with Fred?

  • ttommyunger

    I don't watch that drek, but the missus wouldn't miss one gawdawful episode. Alls I can say is, she better wear her granny panties; otherwise if she falls they'll have to slide her over a manhole to get her on her feet again.

  • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

    Good god. That's what holds up that screeching hate-filled goblin face?