Latest Scott Walker Fundraiser: Ask Rich Ladies To Give Him Their Purses

Villain prince Scott Walker has grown tired of the crumbling governor's mansion the state of Wisconsin gave him as a fortress against the pitchfork mobs of voters that usually hunt him down wherever he goes, so he needs cash to insulate the walls from the noises of the commoners. And what do aristocrats do when they need money to fix up their castles? They throw a wine and croquet luncheon, of course, during which Scott Walker's wife will mug the assembled crowd of rich ladies who attend these sorts of things and auction off their expensive handbags back to one another for the highest price. How clever! The rich ladies love these sorts of games. All of them except one, who heard about this weird scheme in her invitation from the first lady and forwarded it to the media, because it is weird.

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel has the mind-numbing details:  

The first lady said in her email accompanying the invitation that she hopes the event generates enough "resources to help us restore the Residence to its intended historic charm, beauty, and value."

"I am inviting fellow leading ladies like yourself to please join me in donating a purse filled with some of your favorite things. The purses will then be raffled off at the event," Tonette Walker added. "For example, I'll be donating a Tignanello bag filled with some of my can't-live-without items like my favorite shade of Bobbi Brown lipstick and an Aveda hand cream that I can't get enough of."

One recipient of an invitation was put off by the talk of designer handbags and croquet matches during this time of austere budgets and program cuts.

"I thought you might like to see where our first lady's efforts are going," said the source, who asked that her name not be used. "In the year of reducing programs like the school milk program for poor kids, I'm supposed to fill a purse with 'necessities' and donate to restore a mansion."

Annie Nolan, assistant to the first lady, offered a different take on the event.

The Walkers are upgrading the mansion, Nolan emphasized, without dipping into state coffers.

Scott Walker will not have any of that poor slob money touching his state-owned mansion! And this way, none of that rich-people money will have to go touch any of the poors. It can just make Scott Walker's house nicer. Everyone wins. [ Journal-Sentinel Online ]