Townhall Proves Dumb Presidents Make America Great

Here is an interesting observation from the people of Townhall: Rick Perry might not be very smart, at all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he will be a bad president. In fact, it probably means that he is the next Reagan, except BETTER! After all, George Washington didn’t go to college, and he invented the Constitution, so really, “The Dumber the Better,” should be America’s official slogan.

The recent attacks on the intelligence of Texas Governor Rick Perry included the charge that he was dumb and, more bitingly, was like George W. Bush only without the brains. The release of his college transcripts seemed to confirm these accusations. In fact, Frank James, writing on NPR.org, warned, “if you ever enter politics, you may one day think about running for president. And if you do decide to run, your college grades could become an issue, especially if they’re mediocre.”

Of our first seven presidents, George Washington was also only one of two without a college degree. Did this disqualify him from being one of our greatest leaders, commonly ranked first or second among all presidents? And the man who often takes the top spot on the list ahead of Washington had the least formal education of any of our presidents.

I’m speaking, of course, of Abraham Lincoln, who had roughly one year of formal learning, being otherwise self-taught and working his way through William Blackstone’s famous text in order to become a lawyer. So, our finest president had the least schoolroom education.

In sum: 1) You can be well-educated and not “smart”; 2) You can be “smart” and not well educated; 3) You can be lacking in formal education and still be a great leader; 4) You can be well-educated and “smart” but that doesn’t guarantee strong ethics or morality; 5) You can be well-educated and “smart” and not be a good leader.

So, the question we should ask is not, “Is this candidate smart (or dumb)?”, but rather, “Would he (or she) make a good president?” In fact, ask yourself this question: “What are the top five qualities I most value in a president?”

Your answers will be enlightening.

Now for those enlightening answers!

“Can ANYONE show us any proof of the claims that Barrack Hussein is as smart as he insinuates and his believers insist? Not that I know of, he’s never released any of his school records, we’re all just supposed to believe that the left’s messiah is the smartest guy in the room although it seems that he can barely find the room.” – Larry

“‘Must a President Be Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?’ Well, judging from Obama’s performance, obviously not. You do not even have to be a natural born American citizen to be president. All you have to have is the backing of the Bilderberg group.” – Louie

Larry and Louie are probably your next two presidents, at this rate! [Townhall]

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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  1. Barb

    "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? … That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008
    I like my Presidents a little smarter than this and oddly enough, I find Bush smarter than Perry.

  2. AlterNewt

    "I’m speaking, of course, of Abraham Lincoln, who had roughly one year of formal learning"

    Yes. But Lincoln wasn't an asshole.

    1. V572 T-Blow

      Plus: go read his Second Inaugural or the Gettysburg Address, and see if you don't think he was smarter than (Reagan + Bush + Perry) x 3,000,000.

      1. Radiotherapy®

        To say nothing of the fact that Abe was book smart and a practicing attorney. I also don't think anybody in the GOP clown parade would have been opposed to the Mexican-American War. Or exhibited compassion and magnanimity to even a fraction of what Abe did.

        1. V572 T-Blow

          Garry Wills' Lincoln at Gettysburg is an amazing book, delves deep into the classical and biblical sources of the Address and demonstrates that Lincoln was anything but an idiot savant.

          Remember the Barry that used to inspire us with his words? What happened to that guy?

          1. Nothingisamiss

            Twinkies have a shelf life of, like, 20 years. They're what I stock in our Glenn Beck "When the browns come" shelter next to the guns.

          2. Pristine_ODummy

            I really like this shelter idea. Is there a "brown people" version? Who's coming for us and our twinkies?

          3. Nothingisamiss

            Oh, Pristine…..EVERYONE is coming for the twinkies of the browns, poors and olds (as long as the olds are poor and sick.) We don't need shelters because we don't deserve them. Our current shelter is the dog house outside, but when it rained I noticed a leak.

            The twinkies were still fresh, though!

          4. Pristine_ODummy

            Suddenly, I feel so much more vulnerable.

            Although I take some consolation in knowing that at least the twinkies were fresh.

            We don't have a dog house at La Casa de Los Gatos. Can we bundle up in yours? We'll bring our own twinkies.

          5. Radiotherapy®

            Gore Vidal's Lincoln was a favorite of mine. I'm not a big fiction reader, but it came highly recommended and I thoroughly enjoyed the content.
            And since we are a here, I cringe when these simpletons use the "Abe was a Republican" and "civil rights legislation was passed despite the Southern Democrats" memes. Such superficial, cursory views of American history and the complexity of our politics are the reason Townhall drivel like this even exist.

        2. Pristine_ODummy

          That's the thing they overlook. It wasn't his book-larnin' or lack thereof that was the key issue in deciding the value of his Presidency. It was his compassion and magnanimity.

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            Well, you polydactyls have had it all your way for TOO DAMN LONG!!! The toes are too damned many! ELEBENTY!!

        3. AJWjr.

          I'm not trying to compare myself favorably to Abe here, but I am tall and thin(ish), wear a beard and I played him in my 5th grade play. I did it because the girl they cast as Mary Todd was the 1961 5th grade equivelant of hawt.

  3. V572 T-Blow

    What is this hateful Town Hall thing, and why have you led us to it? It's Friday night, fer Jeebus sake. We're trying to drink ourselves into a stupor as peacefully as possible. And was that article written by "Heckuva job, Brownie" Michael Brown? Not hard to see why he'd be an advocate for stupidity.

    1. flamingpdog

      FYI: On this day in 2005, "President George W. Bush told Michael Brown, head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, 'Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job' during a tour of Hurricane Katrina damage in Alabama."

      Happy Anniversary!

      1. not that Dewey

        But I didn't get you anything! [checks pockets]. Just sit tight on that roof; I'll be back in a few weeks with something REALLY special.

      2. Pristine_ODummy

        Thanks, pdog. I hereby leave you the noose which I will use later to hang myself, and my remaining cans of HoboBeans<sup>tm</sup>.

    2. flamingpdog

      Hmm, I just now went to the article and saw the picture of Michael Brown, and that's not heckuva job Brownie Michael Brown, unless he was attacked by a face-ripping chimp and had a new face put on. So there's at least two Republitard dildoes named Michael Brown. Go figure!

  4. nounverb911

    "George Washington was also only one of two without a college degree. "
    George the Shrub made up for that by getting two degrees and he had problems reading "My Pet Goat" in a single sitting.

    1. V572 T-Blow

      People who go to Yale and Harvard are much smarter than those of us who did not. You can tell it's true in Bush's case because he was smart enough to be born to rich parents.

  5. nounverb911

    "Rick Perry might not be very smart….. In fact, it probably means that he is the next Reagan, except BETTER!"
    Perry has Alzheimer's already?

    1. JustPixelz

      Even Reagan couldn't be the next Reagan in today's Repubican Party. While governor of California, he sign a law that effectively legalized abortion, long before Roe v Wade. Then there were his tax increases while POTUS. His association with well-known liberals like Tip O'Neil and Rock Hudson.

      Reagan was in the military during WWII, but billeted to Hollywood to make training and propaganda films — the kind of record that would be laughed at if he were a Demoncrat. Also, he was a Demoncrat until 1962 when he switched. "I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The party left me." Note to RR: The party has come back to you.

  6. loki_monster

    Jesus these fuckers and Obama's grades!! You gotta be a top-flight brain to be the editor-in-chief of any law review, let alone Ye Olde Harvard Law Review. For fuck's sake!

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      Considering that not a single one of these questioners has the intellectual wherewithal to make it INTO Harvard Law, it's gotta be the colour of his skin + his politics that makes them so incredibly fucking RUDE. How DARE they question someone who is as far above them as birds are above fish? How fucking DARE THEY?

      1. the_problem_child

        Only one of them is making me any money. But the others were fun & made me a human who can do not bad in a lit crit conversation.

    1. flamingpdog

      I have four diplomas – junior high, high, undergrad, and grad school. The sad thing about the junior high diploma is that they gave one out at the school I went to because too many of the kids, that was the only diploma they were ever going to get.

        1. AJWjr.

          Counting kindergarden and jr. high, I have 5 if you count the 2 from the for-profit trade techs…
          What I mean is, I hated school and did anything I could to avoid it. Like Paul Simon said,
          "When I think back
          On all the crap I learned in high school
          It's a wonder
          I can think at all
          And though my lack of education
          Hasn't hurt me none
          I can read the writing on the wall"

          1. comrad_darkness

            Boy, that article's comments make Townhall's comments look educated. Wow. People should learn to keep their personal demons to themselves instead of throwing black and white evidence of them up on a random internet thread.

            Boy, people have some scary issues with sex, apparently. Thereby proving programs that approach sexuality healthfully are desperately needed.

    2. Grief_Lessons

      I have four degrees, and this morning I slathered my son with sunscreen only to discover, on leavng the house, that it was pouring rain. So that thing about book learnin' being no protection against stupidity probably has some validity.

      1. the_problem_child

        Yeah, I 'screened up too this morning. And it was cloudy all afternoon. Better safe than sorry.

    1. zhubajie

      In W's case he also got his frat closed and nearly went to prison for branding new frat brothers with a red-hot coat hanger! (I always wondered if perhaps he branded his cabinet members and other advisers, too.)

    2. dr_giraud

      Or, as Randy Newman sang, "Good ole boys from LSU/went in dumb, come out dumb, too."

      Rick Perry went to Texas A&M, which I believe is somewhat less academically rigorous than LSU.

  7. ifthethunderdontgetya

    You don't have to be smart to be president.

    As has been amply demonstrated these last three decades, you just have to be willing to put on your kneepads and suck off America's plutocrats, while shitting on the other 99% of the country.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    So wait — this guy's point is that just because Dubya was a moron and also turned out to be the worst president in American history that we shouldn't judge too hastily the next moron who comes along?

    I guess that would make sense if being president of the United States wasn't often described as the world's hardest job. Maybe I'm missing something here, but the more difficult the job is, the more closely you vet the person for the right training, temperament, managerial and leadership skills, etc. etc. And the faster you'd just want to toss out the resume of someone who's an unqualified moron. Because unlike, say, a person's horoscope or blood type, there's probably a causal relationship between being a moron and doing a sucky job as president.

    But go on, TownHall — be the folks to take the side of putting a moron in a position of immense responsibility. And the next time you get on a plane, I hope you see a chimpanzee in the pilot's seat and breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that you're giving lesser-qualified primates a shot at responsibility.

    1. flamingpdog

      And these are the same folks that scream that it's soshulist AFFIRMATIVE ACTION if you give a "lesser-qualified" person a shot at responsibility in school or a job.

      But then Rick Perry isn't a niggra or a Messican.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        The soft bigotry of low expectations is a horrible oppressor of the poor and minorities; the rich, however, require it.

  9. user-of-owls

    There is no country that I am aware of, rick or poor, First World or Third, anywhere in the world in which a self-proclaimed 'intellectual' would attempt to make the case for affirmative action at the presidential level on the basis of rank stupidity.

    Do they routinely elect venal, corrupt authoritarian demagogues? Oh yes, yes they do. But to sign the praises of ignorance as a desirable presidential trait, this is simply humiliating. Maybe we are exceptional after all.

    1. zhubajie

      I remember Roman Hruska saying that mediocre people needed representation, too. Now I only wish our pols were mediocre, instead of piss-poor to unbelievable!

  10. Guppy06

    Where's the long form college transcript?

    And really, I don't care if my politicians are smart or dumb. It's whether or not they're cynical, evil bastards beholden to moneyed interests that really concerns me. In that respect, Perry's smart enough to get his party's base to think that he's just like them.

  11. not that Dewey

    In honor of Special Education Week, Rick Perry would like to announce his candidacy for president.

    And by the way, Brownie, there's a difference between "self-educated" and "got below-average grades in or failed the very subjects where he's claiming expertise". "Self-educated" implies "educated", moron.

      1. not that Dewey

        In other words, the worst possible kind of dumbass. Unfortunately, the "journalists" are not debating how dangerous and corrupt he is, only how "likeable" or "electable" he is. Mass murder and wholesale subversion-for-profit of the democratic system apparently do not make someone "unelectable".

        In fact, they don't even want to talk about how dumb he is. It would be uncivil.

  12. snoopyfan2010

    Option 6: You can be stupid, obtain a paid for degree, be morally corrupt AND be a poor leader. That's our Rick Perry. Gig'em.

  13. Negropolis

    Okay, let's get something straight; there is dumb and then there is Texas politician dumb. I like to know that my president applied him or herself to something, anything (outside of simply winning an election) at all, really. Perry fails that test.

    Even more to the point, a candidate that displays intellectual curiosity at the very least is a must for me. People who display a pride in their ignorance need not apply. Being the most intellectually sharp guy in the room isn't the end all be all, but I'll be hell if I give my vote to somehow who purposefully eschews knowledge. Perry is neither smart, nor wise.


    1. Radiotherapy®

      What's interesting 'bout Perry and the GOP 100% hate, "hope he fails," "in over his head," teleprompter theme is we are not hearing the "community organizer, "never worked in the private sector" dreck recently. Because from what I can tell, our favorite dress-up like Adolph, cheerleader never worked in the precious private sector. He's listed on the wiki as a "farmer." And, natürlich, our favorite socialism sector "military officer." So one of their favorite little poignant selling points, "small business fuck," doesn't sell.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Rick's popularity apparently took all the other candidates by surprise, but I'm sure they'll be getting on his case any minute now — this is the party, remember, that proclaimed Dubya a war hero while calling John Kerry and Al Gore cowards and traitors.

    2. SayItWithWookies

      Perry also has no basis for judging what's a good idea and what's a bad idea except for his own feelings about them, just like Dubya. He believes in science when it suits him and the other 95% of the time he relies on prayer to figure out what to do, in much the same way that Dubya relied on his gut.

      Perry also seems to think he's right all the time and that his decisions should serve as an edifying example to others, just like Dubya. He gave this interview recently on Pat Robertson's CBN network in which he basically took credit for Texas being in the great shape it's allegedly in — he sounded like a complacent, self-satisfied schmuck who had a ten-second answer for every problem. However you define smart, it can't be a good idea to have your own subjective perception be the final arbiter of whether you're right or not. Some objective standard is necessary.

      1. Radiotherapy®

        Wooks, forgive me for going back a few weeks and recycling a comment of mine, but, one factor in making a point is repetition, a short excerpt from a distant Radio signal:
        the Male Cheerleader Gubner was on C-Span..One minute was all I needed. I never had heard him speak before. But Mark Twain has…. A cross between Chimpy, Joel Osteen, Toad Palin, the Clown Roundtable in Iowa, and my recurring evil-guy nightmare.
        Al Gore blew it. With the best economy in our lifetime. He couldn't beat the Rove Community Theater Group.
        Now, Barry with every positive trait he has, quite formidable really, is saddled with an economy they created. And Perry, Bachmann and Bolton seem, to the Mencken underestimates at least, even credible.

        Now, compound it with the fact he isn't a Bush son, never did the "owned a business" crap, or, as V has pointed out, any jobs he "created" in Texas were only as a result of stimulus or the military-industrial-socialist complex. He is a phony of Holden Caulfield proportions.

  14. mavenmaven

    Along with Larry and Louie, how about Moe and Curly as Republican candidates? That's a debate I'd enjoy watching.

  15. BarackMyWorld

    Mitt Romney has both a J.D. and an M.B.A. from Harvard, and Rick Perry has a Bachelor's in Animal Science from Texas A&M.

    I'm fairly sure BOTH would make pretty horrible presidents.

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      Actually, I'd venture to say that Mitt Romney would be the better of the two, if only because he's intelligent. Rick DinglePerry is an idiot of the highest order.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Well, yeah. But is there a single Republican left who is anything BUT a pandering venal spite-filled spittle-flecked lying sack o'pus whoremonger anymore?

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            Huntsman looks a lot nicer than he actually is. His money comes from his billionaire businessman father, owner of Huntsman Chemical Corp. Daddykins is a known and shameless polluter. (Google "Huntsman Chemical Odessa, TX" for details.) Jon, as Governor of Utah, believed that polluters should be *self*-regulating. No nasty government intrusion into their profit-making schemes. Punishment for such polluters tended to be a slap on the wrist (small fine + admonishment). He's also ANTI-choice and ANTI-equality (for the LGBTQ population). Add to that his open and spirited embrace and defense of the Ryan Plan (before most of the other Repugs) and his insistence that Medicare be ENDED (not reformed), and you have a far-right candidate who only looks good because the rest of the pack are such howling loonies.

            I actually thought enough of Huntsman to research him, and I'm deeply disappointed by what I've found. I was hoping he might be the guy in 2016, but if he is, USAmerica as we have hitherto known it is pretty much over.

  16. johnnyzhivago

    If Obama released his grades these idiots would be all over him accusing him of showing off, or cheating, or bribing his professors, or using the Chicago mob to threaten them or hacking into Harvard's grade computer or something. They can never be satisfied so just fuck them.

    1. HobbesEvilTwin

      The beer just pours down their bony chins onto their rib cages – it's just not that pretty of a sight seeing them try to drink.

    2. gurukalehuru

      I'm guessing old George was more of a brandy or champagne sort of fellow. Lincoln may have been a beer guy, but I'll bet he sampled some Kentucky sour mash in his day, too. Yeah, I'd have a drink with either one of them.

    3. glamourdammerung

      George Washington and Abe Lincoln were great presidents – but – would you really want to have a beer with either of them?

      Not really. Lincoln is probably pretty ripe by now assuming anything is left.

  17. iburl

    "All you have to have is the backing of the Bilderberg group"
    Yes, and Gov Goodhair has that, moreso than Obama.
    Perry off to secret forum in Turkey
    He'll speak about federalism at elite global conference
    Christy Hoppe / The Dallas Morning News | May 31, 2007

    AUSTIN – Gov. Rick Perry is flying to Istanbul, Turkey, today to speak at the super-secret Bilderberg Conference, a meeting of about 130 international leaders in business, media and politics.

  18. Extemporanus


    OMG you guys, don't be gay LOL! You should, like, totally rock the vote for them!

    I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to vote because some people out there in our great nation of ours don't have cable, and I believe that our teevee, like, such as, New Hampshire, and the Iowa, everywhere, like, such as, and I believe that they should, our teevee over here in the U.S., should help the U.S., or should help New Hampshire, it should help the Iowa and the Florida counties watch the super awesome Lennie & Charlie political reality show Of Mice and All the President's Men Keeping Up with the Kardashians' 16 & Pregnant Bachelorette Top Chef Real Housewives of Jersey Shore Project Runway Celebrity Rehab Real World Big Brother Survivor Gennifer Flowers for Algernon (formerly titled Sarah Palin's Alaska), premiering everywhere this Fall on, like, such as, TLC, and the Bravo, like, such as, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children!

    Also, too…Get A BRAIN! MORANS ;)

  19. SudsMcKenzie

    "Townhall Proves Dumb Presidents Make America Great"

    From what I've seen, most Townhall's just prove America is dumb.

  20. mumbly_joe

    "George Washington was also only one of two without a college degree

    Err, actuallyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Presidents_o

    There's Washington, Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Taylor, Filmore, Lincoln (noted in that very article, even, sheesh), Andrew Johnson, Cleveland, and Truman, who's well known for being the only 20th century case. All in all, a couple of really great presidents, a bunch who are regarded by history as fairly mediocre, and a couple more who, quite frankly, deserve every bit of their awful reputations.

    But, actually getting a simple fact like presidential educations right, or even right enough to be consistent with other things you say in very the article you're writing, would require someone to have a degree in American history, or else access to Wikipedia.

    Is this Michael Brown's way of saying he's running for president?

    1. fishcarp

      Err, actually Joe, I think you just mumbled through the first part of the sentence…it states:

      "Of our first SEVEN presidents, George Washington was also only one of two without a college degree."

      Uh…oops? Might be best to actually READ the text before heading over to Wikipedia to try to make the author look stupid and instead looking so yourself. In fact, maybe bypass Wikipedia all together and, I don't know, get a college education.

    2. fishcarp

      Err, actually Joe, I think you just mumbled through the first part of the sentence…it states:

      "Of our first SEVEN presidents, George Washington was also only one of two without a college degree." Which is indeed accurate based on the link you provided.

      But, actually getting a simple fact like presidential educations right by, I don't know, actually READING the article would require you (and apparently the 13 people who like your statement, an the other user who responded, and the 5 people who like his statement…in other words 20 people in total looking at this post) to have the ability to read AND comprehend sentence structure, regardless of education or Wikipedia.

    3. zhubajie

      Washington was apprenticed to a surveyor as a teen and was involved in surveying the Shenandoah Valley. How do you compare 18th or 19th century education with what we have today, anyway?

  21. Goonemeritus

    You know there is a piece of this article that is on point. The question “What are the top five qualities I most value in a president” is valid and it serves to remind me why I voted for Obama and why I will again. For me those qualities are relatively constant what changes are the challenges. In fact one gage of any leader’s success is whether he has changed those priorities and can he adapt to the new ones. In 2008 my biggest priority was to turn around our disastrous foreign policy and regain the respect of the world. My second was to address healthcare and my third was to get out of Iraq. All in all he has done well on all my priorities (admittedly it’s a work in progress). As to qualities he has proven that he not only possesses the ones that I value but at times he is actually frustratingly consistent in their application.

  22. mumbly_joe

    You know, some would argue that in order to become a practicing (and rather accomplished) attorney in good standing despite having only one year of formal education is actually itself a sign of staggering intellect.

    And also that level of formal education (especially when comparing individuals from widely disparate time periods), while often used as a proxy for intelligence, is likely less informative with regards to an individual's comprehension of, say, economic issues, or knowledge of our nation's history as it relates to our civic institutions, than an individual's grades in those particular subjects.

    However, I do recognize that pointing this out at all ends up playing right into the "librul elites condescending to us real murkins" ressentiment hoowey that has basically defined the Republican party since before I was born, so rather than using this last paragraph to speculate as to how difficult it might be to get an A at Texas A&M, I'm just going to point out that Rick Perry is also a psychopathic mass-murderer, and just generally a lunatic, who said it would be treasonous for the chairman of the Fed to conduct monetary policy between now and november, and those are perfectly fine reasons not to want Rick Perry to be president, educational attainment notwithstanding.

    1. weejee

      Mumbly you've pointed out an important dichotomy; the American left's embrace of the noble savage (current timez e.g., the working stiff) and disdain for intellectual inferiority. Part of it perhaps pushes the certification madness that abounds. Back in the day you did not need a degree to become a licensed profession engineer (PE), you just needed to pass the engineer-in-training and PE exams. A fellah I worked with who's now retired had both a PE in civil and a structural license and no degree. Given the mathematics, physics, chemistry, mechanics, economics, etc. included in those tests, it needs no gloss that this fellow with no degree but PE & SE licenses was incredibly smart. Today, in most states, you not only need the degree but it has to be in engineering from a school that has Accreditation Board for Engineering and Technology certification. I guess this avoids the problem with an Oral Bill Roberts' JD, but jeesh this is now certification at the third power. So weejee & Associates, and our PEs are fully certifiable by the Soviet of Warshington. Meanwhile, there are gaping holes in the building code thanks to the lobbying efforts of manufacturers and contractors. A differing, but perhaps important, dichotomy.

      / sound of collapsing building in the distance

      sorry, tl;dr

  23. x111e7thst

    There are actually two separate questions: Should the Amerikkkan Peepuhl elect someone just like themselves or someone better? And will they?

  24. Hurricane Ali

    This would all be funny except for the fact that the speaker is equating intelligence with higher education. Sure, Lincoln had a rudimentary education to begin with, but he sat down and taught himself without the benefit of the nascent legal profession to install him in a school for thousands of dollars per year to learn the same. How can you equate Perry, who apparently slept his way through Texas A&M, with Lincoln, who beat down many obstacles to obtain a legal education, as being even on the same plane of existence?

    And…I see MumblyJoe has already ranted about this and more eloquently, I might add. Well, I'll leave it stand in any case as I need the pee points.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Some of the comments on Townhall are typical re†arded teabagger rants, but some are unintentionally hilarious: "My problem with Perry is that he is a typical big-government Republican who thinks government is the answer to every question."

      Other winners: morons who think Obama got into Harvard Law with lousy grades, or a "foreign scholarship", or that Perry could teach himself law (just like Lincoln) if he wanted to.

      1. Hurricane Ali

        haha, you say that, now, Mr. or Ms. "84p" but wait until you're close to a cool century like me and there are no more troll-fisters around to inflate your pees artificially!

  25. poncho_pilot

    Townhall comments…makes my brain hurt. if La Monte Young wrote Gregorian chants it would still be more tolerable than that one-note chorus/negative feedback loop.

  26. poncho_pilot

    For a corpse, Reagan sure gets a lot of invisible hand jobs. Maybe in the future they'll make a new president out of the DNA of famous and dead leaders like Serpentor in G.I. Joe. If so, it wouldn't be hard to find Reagan's genetic material: just swab Michael Brown's palm.

  27. DahBoner

    Also, in addition to:

    6) You can be not well-educated and not “smart” with bad ethics or morality and not be a good leader.

    In other words, a Republican….

  28. ttommyunger

    I have known so many degreed morons and so many wise persons without degrees; I am completely unimpressed by either condition. What impresses me is wisdom and good judgement in action. Everything else is fluff and luck.

  29. Come here a minute

    Yeah, these are about the same:

    GEORGE W. BUSH: Thank you all. I, uh, I want you all to know –

    INDIVIDUAL: Louder!

    GEORGE W. BUSH: It can't go any louder.

    CROWD: (laughter)

    GEORGE W. BUSH: I want you all to know, that America today – America today is on bended knee in prayer for the people whose lives were lost here, for the workers who work here, for the families who mourn.

    CROWD MEMBER: Go get 'em George.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: This nation stands with the good people of New York City and New Jersey and Connecticut as we mourn the lives of thousands of our citizens.

    CROWD MEMBER: We can't hear you!

    GEORGE W. BUSH: I can hear you!

    CROWD: (laughter; cheers; whistles)

    GEORGE W. BUSH: I can hear you, the rest of the world hears you, and the people…

    CROWD: (cheers interrupt)

    GEORGE W. BUSH: …and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon.

    CROWD: (cheers; chants: USA! USA! USA!)

    GEORGE W. BUSH: The nation – the nation sends its love and compassion –

    CROWD MEMBER: God Bless America!

    GEORGE W. BUSH: …to everyone who is here. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for making the nation proud. And may God Bless America!

    CROWD: (cheers; chants: USA! USA! USA!)

    – George W. Bush, September 2011

    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

    – Abraham Lincoln, November 1863

    1. Dexter Linwood

      INDIVIDUAL: Louder!

      GEORGE W. BUSH: It can't go any louder.

      CROWD: (laughter)

      That's Dubya in a nutshell. That's 8 years wrapped up into a single excerpt.

  30. BarackMyWorld

    Your answers will be enlightening.

    Either that's sarcasm or someone's in for a world of disappointment.

  31. Walkinwiddaking

    When a majority of the Republican presidential candidates seem to be embracing ignorance as a virtue and there are a sizable number of Americans willing to gobble that vapid shit up, it's time to be afraid.

  32. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Larry and Louie are probably your next two presidents, at this rate!"

    Larry and Moe seem pretty qualified, compared to the GOPtards they've trotted out so far.

  33. fuflans

    'louie' i'm really curious: how is obama's performance like a 5th grader?

    no, seriously, explain this to me.

    explain anything to me.

    right, i didn't think so.

  34. Comrade Wingtard

    I'll let candidate Tommy Bruzzesi speak here:
    "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence; talent will not.
    Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent; genius will not.
    Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb; education alone will not.
    The world is full of educated derelicts.
    Persistence and determination are omnipotent."

    Makes sense? I thought so!

    1. comrad_darkness

      If you persistently deregulate, even after the repeal of glass steagall and the banning of regulation on derivatives has crashed all the banks and let them take off with trillions in bailout money then persistence makes you a tool of the oligarchy, not a tool of the people's will.

      If you are determined to cut taxes on the wealthy when 40% of the nation's children are surviving on food stamps then you aren't omnipotent or a leader of the people, you are just an asshole.

  35. zhubajie

    Probably it's a bad thing if your country is run by people who are dumb as dog-shit, no matter how much time they've wasted goofing off, while pretending to get an education.

  36. Buckminster

    I knew kids like this in high school. Put down what you don't understand. Put down the smart kids because you aren't smart–therefore, smart kids are "geeks" and "losers" and dumb jocks rule the school.

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