Happy Labor Day weekend! Here is a fun “we just made this into a drinking game” Internet website from the Iowa Democratic Party that asks visitors to read a hilariously krazy quote and guess which nutbag GOP personality said it. It’s slightly harder than it looks! We’ll share some tips after the jump!
First of all, we are professionals, and even some of the “God hates homos” and “science was invented by Hitler” ones are hard to assign correctly because they are repeated so often and nearly verbatim between these outlandish weirdos that it is easy to mix them up. Don’t feel bad if you miss one. Take a shot! Take a shot if you get it right, too! Everyone wins.
Other tips:
- If it is an off-color joke about torturing brown people in island gulags, pick Mittens.
- If you have no idea, pick Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin, close your eyes, imagine the words “abusive cheerleader mom” and then whichever one hits your eye first after you open them is probably the correct answer.
- We will ruin this one for you, because it’s great: “George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom” is Rick Perry.
- Everything else is Christine O’Donnell.
Happy weekend! [GuessThatTeaPartier.com]
{ 290 comments }
Needz moar Santorum
Can we just pick "fox news talking point" for every single one?
All of them, Katie.
So many lunatic Republicans, so little time….
I'm already drunk. Should I play this? Let's see what happens…
OH GOD CALL AN AMBULANCE
You shouldn't have listened to the part about "have a shot if you guessed it right. If you guessed it wrong, have another shot."
Tom, I can name that Teabagger in three incoherent babbles.
Woot – I identified a Xtine OD quote first try! The image they produce to congratulate your correctly choosing her is priceless.
Sorry MoveOn.org — this Iowa Democratic-devised laugh-in needs my money more than you do.
I don't drink. Can I just gouge my eyes out?
Yes, but put some cocaine on them first. It will hurt less.
Sweet fancy Moses, that's a good idea, Sharkey!
Believe me, you will. Disirregardless.
Now how will you be able to aim your Molotov cocktails correctly if you gouge your eyes out? For shame young man.
The Party has that covered. They provide Seeing Red Eye Dogs to our auto-blinded comrades.
But dogs can't see color!
or look up.
Earl of Gloucester Libel!
Why should you be allowed to escape so easily when the rest of us have to go on suffering?
Doesn't seem fair, does it?
Use a chainsaw. That way, if you miss, you won't care.
Hell, no. I'm not playing this game. I'll end up saying crazy, whacky shit like them.
But I'll have a few drinks anyway. God bless and goodnight. See. I'm already saying shit I don't want to.
"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear. I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will. " 4/5/07, AP
Willard for the WIN!
#stuffrepublicanssay
#stupidshitrepublicanssay
I think if I wrote each quote on a little slip of paper, taped each slip to a dart and threw all the darts at teabaggers, I would win this game.
Could you dip them in a little poison, first? The darts, I mean.
No,no,no, darts are small, you might miss; dip the whole Teabagger in poison then throw unposioned darts at him/her.
You're not related to Biel_ze_Bubba, by any chance, are you?
*sigh*
At least I get to choose my friends.
the maker of this website need to lend his spine to Obama
The DNC needs to buy up a half-an-hour of primetime space and name this "Are You Smarter Than a Republican Presidential Candidate?"
But what would you use for the challenging part that a game needs to have in order to be interesting?
You could ask Mitt Romney questions like, "How much does milk cost?" and "How many weeks does unemployment compensation last and where do you get rent money when it runs out?"
What about "How many houses do you own?"
I still have a sticked I received from the DNC in 2008 that reads "Ask Me How Many Houses I Own" with the McCain/Palin logo on it. lol
Which teabagger had a three day pray-a-thon for rain and got fire and brimstone in return?
I'm not answering that. Its a trick question.
You could do what I do, and just always guess "Hitler." It has to be right some time, right?
All of them, Pristine.
Thanks, ntD!
Shit, even James Taylor has seen both fire and rain, and he lives up there in Taxachussetts…
All of them, Katie.
God's sending the rain to the swami in Louisiana. I can't explain it.
Which teabagger saw headless Mexicans in the desert from her house?
Bob Hope?
Well, that one sure as fuck ain't Hitler.
I'm guessing "Jan Brewer," amirite?
The Puma County Rethug who came up with the idea to raffle a Glock in Gabby Giffords' honor.
Rex Kramer?
Roland (the headless Thompson Gunner)?
T
What neat fun! Combine this with the drinking game I like to call "Life: aka, Shit Happens", and it's a darn good thing I'm not going camping with my boys this weekend.
It's all fun and games 'til mama falls into the campfire….
After that it's just fun.
So many humans … all sharing the same brain.
Well, most of 'em are hard of hearing, so when God asked them if they wanted any trains….
I don't think that shared thing constitutes a *brain,* necessarily. Just a random amalgamation of various cells.
I think the label on the jar says "Abbie Normal".
I get the feeling we have a, uh, similar taste in movies. Scary.
The problem with the Teatard hive mind is that no one is doing any housekeeping. This is an 8-bit architecture, with vast clusters of discarded pointers byte-ing the hive memory bad, real bad. It's kinda like collective Alzheimer's but both recent and olde memories get swapped and/or develop gaping holes. America's political history will be the richer for it. Unfortunately for those who have to live through it, perhaps richness is not the appropriate adjective.
Garbaj collecshun is soshulizms!!!!!1010101!!!
I love that, weejee. That's a win, right there.
Worse, the hamster who was its previous owner had a penchant for mercury cocktails.
It's all fun and games till some butt hurt teabagger shrieks that they were taken out of kontax and that they're being racist against fat angry white people and the Demrats collapse like a toilet paper wall against a flood.
Another tip: If you hear a string of words that technically go together, but sound as if they are put together by a computer spell checker, it's probably Sarah Palin.
Sorry. To me, drinking is too serious a responsibility to be making a game out of it.
i deeply respect your way of thinking baldar.
Raising the bar, as it were.
Flagass, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about drinking?
Har! You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
Hey Fundies,
More "proof" for Creationism? (Oxymoronic?)
God is not an answer…it is merely a placeholder for more questions:
Like…who made God? What is God made of? Who created the laws God must adhere to?
Think just a little deeper…and let's talk later….when I am not so drunk from that game.
OC_Surf_Serf
Like…who made God?
God did.
//blink, blink
"What is God made of?"
God is made up of God particles.
//blink, blink
"Who created the laws God must adhere to?"
God did, of course!
//blink, blink
Q: Who made the watchmaker?
A: It's watchmakers all the way down.
Watchmakers are like lawyers.
You never know when you might need to create a new universe…
If God is the answer, what is the question?
Wow. I suck at that game.
I've never been so proud of myself.
Bottle in front of me, meet frontal lobotomy.
So many teatards, so little alcohol. I need to stock up.
If you have no idea, pick Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin
Easy peasy to tell which from which.
If it sounds like a rant of someone high on the fumes of hair spray and self-importance, pick Palin. (Although that could apply to Rick Perry.)
If they keep bringing up"gay" or "homosexual", no matter what the issue is, pick Bachmann. (Then again, that could be Perry too.)
$#*! My Teabagger Says–coming this fall on every network!
"Federal taxes last year when down for 98 percent of people, but when asked about this, only 12 percent of the Teabaggers thought this was the case. 88 percent of them had it wrong. And a spokesman for the Teabaggers said, 'We don’t want to just be taxed less. We want to be taxed less by a white guy." –Bill Maher
No need to let the regularly scheduled KKK rally go to waste…
I'm spending the long Labor Day weekend sick as a dog with a terrible cold. Instead of alcohol, all I have in front of me is a bottle of codeine cough syrup. A drinking game, you say? I think is going to lead to a very pleasant evening….
I see no downside to this!
Perhaps it's just small-number statistics, but the answer seems to be Bachmann about 80% of the time.
Even for large values of N, you'll find that Bachmann is responsible for 80% of all moronic teabagger statements. As for the other 20%, she just hadn't gotten around to those yet when one of the other GOPtards beat her to it.
Except of course for Palin's patented word salads. Technically, those don't count as actual statements, having no projection in normal subject/verb/object space.
#notIntendedAsAnActualStatement — I like it!
Actually, Palin's speech can be well-described by pseudorandomness:
Pseudorandom sequences typically exhibit statistical randomness while being generated by an entirely deterministic causal process. Such a process is easier to produce than a genuine random one, and has the benefit that it can be used again and again to produce exactly the same numbers [wiki]
except replace "causal process" with "set of Republican talking points" and "numbers" with "statements to Jake Tapper" and you've got Palinspeak.
There's much to be said for random sequences of numbers — perhaps this is also true of words, which explains Palin's continued popularity.
You used those numbers to play the lottery? You shouldn't have used the numbers!
Don't they all pretty much say the same things?
i think the game needs a ringer. maybe Nero.
They do have Snooki.
Mussolini? I mistake his quotes for Dick Cheney's all the time.
Cheney would bomb the trains … on time.
"It is humiliating to remain with our hands folded while others write history. It matters little who wins. To make a people great it is necessary to send them to battle even if you have to kick them in the pants. That is what I shall do."
–Benito Mussolini
"Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power."
–Benito Mussolini
That second quote should be heard more often. With attribution.—
They need to put this game on XBLA.
At least Jeopardy! gives some sort of clue, in the form of categories. This game has only one category — CRAZEEE
"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air. " – 6/28/07, Mitt Romney
I will give $1,000,000 to anyone who can translate this into non-retard for me.
(Don't worry where I'll get $1m. You'll get it, that's all you need to know.)
What a miserable fuckwad he is. I would SO love to tie him to the top of my car — with a buttplug in — and drive on the freewayz for an hour or so.
Add apple in mouth.
You're right, it'll help keep the screaming down to a muted whine.
Screaming? I expect you'll find him with tongue hanging out, ears flapping in the wind, and an idiotic grin on his face.
"I am a sociopath and like to abuse animals."
The thing is, it's not as if anyone secretly wormed the story out of his housekeeper, or PETA put eavesdropping devices all over his many mansions.
He fucking *bragged* to reporters about doing this horrible thing. He *volunteered* the information.
Typical liberal gotcha lamestream media.
True. If one of them had been worth their salt, they would have asked where the dog is now, what happened to it, and whether charges of animal cruelty had ever been filed. Miserable motherfucking Mormons, I'd like to kick the whole Romney family to a jelly.
"Fly, dog. Fly away, like your maker intended you to."
If that was the intent, it's not a very intelligent design.
I cry knowing that these will be the only people left after the zombie apocalypse.
I think these guys are the vanguard of the zombie apocalypse.
Touché, imissopus; touché.
"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air."
Hahaha, Mittens! He loves that fresh air so much he could shit.
P.S. Mittens says more crazy stuff than I thought.
P.P.S. They'll always be teabaggers, as far as I'm concerned.
~
That is a great game. My percentage of correct answers and BAL are neck-and-neck.
I hope Wonkette comes up with some Drinking Bingo (r) cards for the Republican Presidential "debate."
Even though the promise of drunken revelry is appealing, I think I'll pass on this sorry bunch of self-serving mediocrities.
In fact, I can almost agree with Cheney just this one time when he displays his contempt for them.
I'll drink to that.
Guess That Teabagger:
"The right to bare arms against the government."
a. Christine O'Donnell
b. Rick Perry
c. Sarah Palin
d. Michele Bachmann
e. Mitt Romney
f. America's most trusted journalist, the old rusted-out camper
~
Thanks for the camper memories!
I have no camper memories. (It's those damned wine coolers.)
Didn't Bristol say something like that in her book?
"This one time, at band camper…"
f.
I read a few of those quotes and now I must go inject heroin into my eyeballs to try and numb the pain.
on the website, the word "contribute" is under $arah Palin's name.
i spit my drink out and pissed myself
It wasn't Palin. She started to say it, but quit halfway through the thought.
In any case, I would be interested in seeing that evidence. Was there a timekeeper? Did God keep a diary as he went along? Did he create football and take Sunday off to watch it? Why didn't Noah squash the two Tea Partiers on the ark when he had the chance?
Frankly, the words “abusive cheerleader mom” don't conjure up the Cunted-Americans in or around the race so much as they do Little Ricky Perry: Nazi Pom-Pom Boy!
May I take this opportunity to point out that competitive cheerleading makes about as much sense as competitive Mozart-aria-singing, only without the potential benefit of producing enjoyable music?
How about clarifying it as "abusive stage mom"?
The clarity induced by heavy drinking propels me to ask: why aren't these nuts locked up in an asylum somewhere?
Teabaggers get drunk, too, right? Why don't they ever experience clarity?
They are – it's called the United States of America. Against our will, we're the people in the white coats trying to keep them from hurting themselves (and us).
Damn it, it's only 1 PM. I was really hoping I could wait until 2 to start drinking.
"Science was invented by Hitler"
Such a belief would help explain both their patriotically low grades and their hate for public education.
You know what else Hitler invented?
Summer camp?
Volkswagen?
The Beetles?
Long knives?
Nights?
Of the
ACORN?
Glenn Beck?
Mocktails?
For a Wonketteer, this game is just too, too easy.
I'm getting them right pretty consistently by going with money quote to Mittens, basic insanity quotes to Crazy Eyes, word salad to Grifter, and generic lame quote to Wiccabator. Perry is the only wild card as I don't pay too much attention to anything involving Texas.
My liver is not ready for that much alcohol.
OT: It looks like pRick's rain-repelling spell is still working. TS Lee has apparently turned north to flood Biloxi again. (Yay)
"Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch." (Ole Crazy Eyes 10/28/10)
Played a couple rounds of the game and I'm lit too. Different torch. Jim Beam.
I can see it, now. Lady Liberty with toga all ruffled and half falling off using the the one hand to light a giant blunt against her torch.
that same torch is often found in the company of pitchforks.
"Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch."
Big Gay Marcus Bachmann?
I know it's a cliche, but it looks like I picked the wrong summer to quit drinking.
Guess I'll just have to pound my head on the bricks instead.
And to think, I went ahead and followed your example!
and, tonight's magic number is: THIRTY FUCKIN' THREE (33!!)!!
Gimme an update mais non?
That's a lot of days. I bet you didn't think you had it in you. There were times back there when I was worried that you wouldn't make it another 33 minutes. But here you are! Good job.
I guess you didn't like my last update. So here's another one. THERE ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING DRUNK PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE. I got on my bike about an hour ago, very tersely made my goodbyes, and spent a pained hour in the rain trying not to think about where I'd rather be, at home, chillin by the 'puter. But the sounds of drunk shouting pissed me off too much, and so I rode around until my butt hurt and I lost circulation in my wrists, and came to the office. The fucking NYT from last Saturday still hasn't arrived in the mail, so I have no new crosswords to do. I'm bored and fidgety. I'd call you right now if I knew how… (oh, and I left my cell at home. oops.) I could use a sympathetic ear.
So very sorry to hear that mess. What is the source of the infestation? Gotta be familiy…or (fomerly?) close friends, no? Sincere apologies on my self-imposed radio blackout, I just can't do phone talks without getting stressed, sounding antsy/incoherent and generally bunging the whole thing up. But one thing I might have said is, do you not have your life-affirming daughter also in the house? If so, then daddy-nap her and find a quiet/secret room and make adventures you'll both remember for ever: try to escape the 'drunk' zombies by erecting castles of pillows and sheets; tell each other stories, true or embellished; find that tiddly-winks game you have hidden somewhere; tell her you never realized how silly and foolish you looked when you were drinking like them, and how glad you are that you and her have a whole new life together with all the silliness but none of the sickness. Don't run away if you can…find something to stay for.
Pulling a bit of your load for you right now, friend, same as you do for me. Take care…
Yes, and yes. "The Al-Anon", as the Guys in the Group call her, and my office mate, both of whom had nominally quit drinking, and some assorted others. They both have, shall we say, procedural reasons not to be drinking. It was extra dumb of them, on top of the boorishness of it.
Whereas I truly adore your suggestion, the little one was already sleeping, and to implement your plan would have violated the Prime Objective of Modern Parenting: Don't Wake a Sleeping Baby, and its corollary, Don't Move a Happy Baby. It was about the time that you wrote that I left the house. In the future, I will look for a way to incorporate your suggestion into and as a defense against The Madness.
As it was, I slept at the office. That created all sorts of problems at home today, as I was accused of being rude and insensitive towards the needs of the Drunks, who apparently have a dog-given right not to have to feel guilty about anything.
The officemate and I, once when we were not drunk, moved a futon out of the office and into the laboratory, by the solder and assembly area, where people often gather for coffee, as one step in our program to "make this place look more like a professional office and less like a college dormitory". The lab was completely unpopulated last night, and I fell asleep there amidst the gentle whirring of the roughing pumps and helium compressors and the myriad blue, green, and amber power-on and status indicators. It was actually quite nice.
My apologies — I wasn't trying to do the Hard Sell on the phone thing. I can often solve in a 3-minute phone call what would take 15 emails and 12 inherent crossed wires and misunderstandings to accomplish. But it's not for everyone; I understand.
I would have celebrated 2 months this past Thursday, if it hadn't been for that other Unfortunate Business. AA is a harsh mistress about when the clock gets reset. I'll get that coin back in a couple weeks. So you're still out in front. Curses!
You're doing great. Just hang on, believe it or not, the snark gets funnier.
Yeah, sorry, I arrived here drunk. Didn't even clicky. It's all the same shit anyway, like a Chatty Cathy Chorus.
'chatty cathy chorus' is just so fabulous for our repub list of shame and you deserve far more 'p' for it than you will get this far down the list.
Hint: It's mostly Perry (or so it seems).
Fact: I'm mostly inebriated 80% of the time.
I watch Fox News. I'm mostly inebriated 179% of the time.
Nah, I ain't playing. Fuck the baggers , fuck Republicunts. They can all eat a giant shit sandwich.
I feel like Vyvyan of the Young Ones against Footlights before he stomped on Lord Snot. " I'm completely bloody sick of this!"
I keep guessing Hitler.
Me too! That's a WIN, isn't it?
Love to play, but booze schmooze: I'm not wading into the memetic septic-tank of Teabagger philosophizin' under the influence of anything less than several liters of pineal gland extract with an ether chaser, & it just so happens I'm fresh out.
Uncle Duke?
Total WIN.
Oddly enough, I've found that injecting fermented brain bleach directly into your Boenher has the same effect.
Uh … we're friends and all, but I hope and pray that you will not give us any further details.
(legs tightly crossed)
Don't drink these days, but I'm reconsidering since hearing that Rick Perry had been invited to speak to the Bilderberg Group. I've always assumed that those running the World have above-averaged intelligence; if this is true we are all doomed fer sure. I'm average at best, intelligence-wise and I wouldn't listen to that mini jerkoff tell me my ass was on fire.
I'm seriously considering liquid pineal gland extract with an ether chaser, preferably piped directly into the shunt in my skull.*
* No, I don't have one YET.
Someday we all will.
You drive me to drink, ttommy. Here's the car keys.
I'm used to being the designated driver.
I figure they'll ask a few questions, quickly conclude that he's a moron, and do whatever they might be capable of doing to keep him out of the White House.
In that case, he should avoid grassy knolls.
I am betting they'll realize he's dumber than Dubya and more malleable and crooked and will start throwing money at him by the boatload. Stupid works in favor of the wealthy in the short run, and that is *all* the rich think of these days.
Truly. It worked for W, it'd damn sure work for any of these pansies. Except…wtf are they thinking? Obama seems to be doing their dirty work as well, so…
Excellent points. Depressing, but prolly right-on.
It seems as if they've lowered their standards. Everyone seems to get invited to the Bildeberg conference, these days, so I wouldn't worry too much about Perry. If even the conspiracy theories surrounding them are true, they are also about as good as Amway at bilking stupid people's money while inviting the legitimately intelligent into their inner circle. lol
Amway? That good at bilking, eh?
OT, but bringing up Amway, I remember when Son of Amway (Dick Devos) ran against Governor Granholm back in 2006. Despite the perpetual economic crisis, here, she beat his ass like a rented mule. Good times, good times. It's memories like those in these dark Republican times that I hold onto. lol
You must be older than I am: you recall Governor Granholm and think of political memories, I think of her and recall bootylicious mammaries!
Eh – I won't start worrying until the Trilateral Commission meets with him.
So many hoops to jump through, so little time…
Can't take anymore….off to Detox Mansion.
This game is a lot harder if you're already wasted, I'll bet. But I picked Michelle the Beast everyy time.
I can't get excited about the dumbness of these people. The only reason that bankers and businessmen pimp these idiots is because they want another four years of their butt-boy, Barack Obama, who has shoveled more money their way than any President in history. So they are funding opposition candidates so dumb that even the American people will notice it, hold their noses, and vote for Obama.
I don't think Obama is their preferred candidate. He lets them do about 2/3 of anything they want, while the Republicans will let them have 100% and extra tax subsidies to do it with.
Okay, that's just plain black helicopter crazy talk and PUMA conspiracy theorizing, right there. The money guys don't waste their money playing 11-dimensional chess like that and everyone knows it. I criticize the president with the best of them, but that's just silly.
I tried to imagine the one with the most under used vagina, but it was still super difficult!
OT. (snark off)
I have been trying to understand the Obama, EPA mess. (I can't accept that he's just given up.)
Over on TPM there is a lot of outrage, but also a theory about him trying to force a lawsuit at the EPA over this. His own appointee, Lisa Jackson, has called the current standards "legally indefensible."
There is also rumbling about a deal with the rat-bastards at the Chamber of Commerce.
Please weigh in, o wise Wonketters. Any of these strategies viable?
I'd like to go all Dick Cheney on the Chamber of Commerce (can we call them the Chamber of Congress, now that they bought it?) and bomb them back to the stone age. And when the smoke clears I will inform AARP that they're next if they don't straighten up.
As for the EPA, as far as I can tell, the entire Obama Administration is allergic to lawsuits, no matter how justified. The United States of America vs. Nobody. Does Eric Holder even go to the office?
In any case, friend, happy Labor Day — my favorite holiday since I owe my college education to the United Steelworkers and the IBEW is responsible for the biggest salary raise I ever got.
Not entirely allergic:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/02/business/us-is-…
My bet is that it is another in a series of strategic surrenders to the conservatives and their sponsors. If it wasn't for the fact that the alternatives are far worse than Barry I would consider them, but holy shit on a bagel, they are so far off into fascism land that I just can't pull that lever/color in that dot/etc. and allow myself to be a party to their ascension into power. I remember the soaring rhetoric and want to roll into a fetal ball and weep for a few weeks thinking about what could have been, but what the fuck. Sometimes you just have to prevent worse shit from happening.
I agree with this comment 100%, Rotundo. Seriously could fucking weep for what could've been, but I seem to have no alternative (there is no alternative, Nader voters!) and there would be seriously worse shit with any of the teabaglians.
I just skimmed through a thread at TPM that I presume is the one you were reading, and it's an interesting idea. I've been puzzling over this decision as well and think there must be something else behind it. At first I thought maybe it was to spare local and state governments the expense of having to enforce a new environmental regulation when so many of them are strapped for cash, but I haven't seen any commentary to support that idea.
So maybe Hopey is trying to do an end run around potential Republican meddling with the Clean Air Act or, Allah forbid, an outright suspension of the limit in the future by President Perry by tying it up with a public-advocacy lawsuit that Perry can't do anything about? Maybe. I also can't accept that he just gave up. But it's hella risky, considering the public battering he'll take from environmental groups and people who like breathing clean air – in other words, about 90% of the public.
But in those cases, who are people going to vote for: The republican candidate who has sworn some sort of redneck jihad against all governmental activity except military and "homeland security" or Barry? I'm not pleased about the prospect of four more years of Obama center right rule, but compared to the alternatives, any of them, what else are you going to do? In this situation I don't think Hillz or anyone else would have done any better, and Walnuts/Snowbilly would have really fucked things up. I remember Barry as being the alternative to voting for the lesser of two evils candidate (the first one in years) and once again I am back there again-voting for the lesser of two evils.
Oh, you're preaching to the choir with that argument, and I'm not really sure why I used the word "risky," other than it comes right on the heels of the whole kerfuffles over the Keystone pipeline and the scheduling of the speech to Congress, so it's one more excuse for piling on with the "Obama caves to everyone" meme that is perhaps biting into his approval rating.
In any case, there's a WaPo article here that might give a little more perspective. There is a comment from an executive at Tesoro at the bottom of page 2 that stood out in particular to me: http://tinyurl.com/3f2znpt
I got nothin.' Just been getting out into the real world of pleasant and fun family visits (my niece had a wonderful wedding yesterday) to clear my head of disappointment and humiliation.
Somebody is "nuts" and I'm not sure who. Either it's all of us with our heads stuck in the Chattering Web with its 3 poles of EmoFireKosBagging, ObotApoloKoolAid, and M/LSM-follow-the-narrative-of-Cave; or Obama and the White House, somehow oblivious to the rising tide of discontent and the soon-to-be-overwhelming narrative-of-Cave coming from all sides.
Either the Chattering Web has now passed the point where anything that doesn't fit the narrative-of-Cave doesn't get any notice at all, or the White House is is completely, politically tone deaf while expecting credit for doing the best job it can under shitty circumstances. What is Obama's overall record on the environment? Who gives a fuck? We're suing all of the major banks on account of the mortgage crisis? Does anyone care, when we're all having such a good time playing the Caveman Dozens? It's not pretty when you shoot yourself in the face in the smog of war.
Chet, I sympathize and wish I had more family events to attend to force me out into the real world. I think we're stuck with the narrative-of-Cave and have been for awhile. As I've argued, it's a great narrative for the media because they can all of 2012 through the usual sports metaphor: Obama's behind in the fourth quarter! Can he rally his team and quarterback them down the field to a victory? To support this contention, I would point to the whole smog regulation story the other day. All the headlines I saw were variations of "Obama Strikes Down Regulation in Big Victory for GOP/Big Business." Forget about any nuances like "it was not struck down but delayed by a year" or something of that nature. Plus the narrative-of-Cave allows people to be outraged, which is the easiest emotion to access and understand.
I don't know if the WH is tone deaf, or simply takes the cue from the president to always have an eye on the long game, to stick to an overall plan and not respond to every little provocation. The downside is that the VOTERS might respond to every little provocation in a way that is bad for Obama, i.e. see him as a guy who caves regularly while missing or not caring about the victories. On that note, I eagerly await Layne's post crediting the administration with suing the major banks over the mortgage crisis, as so many people had been openly rooting for since the inauguration, particularly on the left.
Jonathan Chait has a piece in the NYT that you may like: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/magazine/what-t…
"On that note, I eagerly await Layne's post crediting the administration with suing the major banks over the mortgage crisis, as so many people had been openly rooting for since the inauguration, particularly on the left."
I hope you are a certified Polynesian pearl diver, if you'll be holding your breath on that one.
I hate to be so cynical, but I doubt the suing of the banks will get coverage here unless it's to criticize the prosecution for not going far enough. I could be proven wrong, though. Hope springs eternal, and all that bullshit.
I saw that article too. Thanks for posting.
Well, here's a couple of nuances:
1. If I understand it correctly, the now-withdrawn ozone standard would have become fully effective in 2016, so there would be some time to get ready for it.
2. The delay will be more like four years — first we wait for the (possible) re-evaluation of the science in 2013, and then it will probably take two years to get to a proposed standard (it took longer this last time). And then, the implementation delay (five years?) It's extremely likely that the Bush 75 ppb will apply until about 2022 (actually, the current standard is really 85 ppb, because the EPA had told folks not to implement the Bush standard until everything was all resolved.
3. The EPA's estimates of health effects for the loose-end 70 ppb standard include 1500-4300 avoided premature deaths per year. I believe this is compared to the 75 ppb standard. Now, estimating premature death rates is a tricky business (as evidenced by the +/-50% range of the estimate), but unless you want to believe that the EPA is just making shit up, that's on the order of one Twin Towers worth of premature deaths per year, for the next eleven years. Admittedly, this is only 1 extra death per 100,000 US residents per year (but so was 9/11).
There is more to this than electoral politics. There are premature deaths and extra asthma attacks, and the fact that the EPA is required by law to reevaluate air quality standards every five years without regard to implementation cost. Obama is requiring his Administrator to violate the law. I have trouble seeing that as a good sign.
Here's an article that frames up the cycle of b.s. very well:
http://www.virtualdaze.com/2011/09/03/on-criticiz…
One factor to consider: the administration is under pressure from rust belt Dems who are up for re-election.
Given the low approval ratings Obama has, the Dems aren't counting on his coattails to help them in 2012. The administration has been operating from a compromised power position since the 2010 midterms. If you're the president, it becomes a lot harder to woo your scared Congressional Dems to vote for or support your agenda when they just saw a bunch of their compatriots take it in the neck for supporting you. And when the 2012 election is a year away, the last thing you want is a flank attack from your own side calling you a "job killer" in an effort to distance themselves from you to win their election.
It's a wingnut meme that Obama is the black Jimmy Carter, but there are parallels. Jimmy Carter faced a similar dynamic where he was pilloried by the right and left during a shitty economy. The primary challenge from Ted Kennedy was the left-wing Dems answer to their dissatisfaction at the time. Given that there are similar calls for a primary challenge to Obama by some on the left (Bernie Sanders, Matt Stoller, KOS diarists, etc), I'm sure that the pressure to shore up the center-right Dem wing is even greater.
ETA: I'm not arguing that electoral concerns justify this policy decision, but there's many plausible reasons this decision was made that don't involve some mysterious deal with the COC.
Isn't it about time for Ken's yearly Labor Day depressing, but stimulating, rant/post?
Maybe he's busy with all the Labor Day Sale Spectacular.
Ken's yearly Labor Day depressing, but stimulating, rant/post?
which differs from all his other posts how? I swear, some of the more recent Arbor Day posts have really pushed me over the edge.
I suppose, in some strange way, I actually have some interest in what the 9/11@10 Extravaganza will bring.
I imagine he's really happy shopping for furniture. He doesn't let on, but he's a sucker for a bargain, especially a furniture bargain!!
Haven't you heard? Labor Day's been permanently canceled and replaced by Corporation Day. When you picnic on barbecued hobo beans tomorrow, remember to toast AT&T, Bank of America, Wall Street, Repugnants, etc. for all their great work in destroying the working and middle class.
I think it's going to be 9/11 Day not Corporation Day. I see all the signs. Corporation Day is more of a winter holiday.
He's probably waiting until everyone is in that morose, weepy state of intoxication, when his post will have maximum impact.
Yes, it's sort of like reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas", only hopeless and stuff, The perfect ending for the last weekend of summer and launching into a new fresh work week (or fruitless search for work week, as the case may be). We all gather by the monitors in our various stages of undress and await the lyrical prose that will make us roll into a fetal ball and abandon all hope for the rest of the day. And in the morning… It's more of the same shit! YAY!!!11!!one!!!1! Yes, it is a warped and generally fucked up holiday tradition, but aren't they all in some sense?
Times are so bad, the Trilateral Commission is cutting back to the Bilateral Commission….
Equally grim for the Rothschilds, who due to rising food costs have downsized to the Rothsenfants.
Take my wife, please!
Bleagghh. I just turned thirty fucking nine today. Virgos Holla!
god I'm so lame.
Despite our focus on "youth culture", most young people are not really that happy.
And actually, The Older You Are, the Happier You Get,
For one thing, you learn not to sweat the small things in Life…
You're welcome!
I'm a couple years ahead of you, so let me just lay it out for you …
yes, it is all downhill from here. You will start to hurt in places despite doing only normal activities. You will see little kids walking around and realize they are actually college students. And for the sake of your sanity don't think about how many years of work to go until you are theoretically at retirement age. Sorry – reality is a harsh mistress.
PS – happy birthday.
Happy birthday! Virgo, here. Your Onion horoscope might cheer you up:
You will take the first hellish step down a dark path from which there can be no return when you agree to get updates on Carnival Cruise specials and discounts.
Dude/dudette/both: I recently turned thirty fucking nine for the 20th consecutive year. Wish I could give you some generally inspirational words. In my own case, it only got worse, and even descended into the pits of hellaciousness after hitting 39 for the first time, but then it got better, despite the Bush years there, and it ain't so bad now, personally, despite all the bitching and moaning I spew here per the rest of the world currently. (I haz chilluns, and I worry about their futures.) May your future life be full of upfists and may the bluebird of hopeyness (but not Hopeyness) rule.
i turned 33 yesterday. congratulations on living another year, sir. treat yourself to something nice–you never know when the end of the world will happen.
'Sir?' Do I look like Peppermint Patty? Happy BDay to you! Also.
..and thanks for everyone's sage words of wisdom!
I no longer feel upset about getting older. I've seen enough people die before they wanted to. For myself, I absolutely love, love getting older. Sure, your body starts crapping out, but you can take good care of yourself to mitigate that. The reduction in drama, the appreciation of life's little things, the perspective, the more nuanced emotions and sense of humor, all these things make it totally worth it in my book. So happy birthday!
"Terrorists have considered renting private planes and loading them with explosives.."
Wish I could afford to rent a private airplane, lucky ducky terrorists!
The 9/11 terrorists did everything on a shoestring budget, most got by for under $30K a year.
Hmmm…where dese Upper Class Terrorists getting all their monies?
G650's are people too.
I just don't understand how so many people can be such idiots, at least in America.
aren't they all interchangeable, just move the heads around…
O/T I'm glad to see that Jack Stuef has landed on his feet:
Comedian tells 'special needs' joke at Palin event
At long last, Eric Golub, we have a name to go with the face.
Goodness: *Is* Eric Golub our leetle troll friend? And he's a conservative comedian? It's kind of like Denis Miller, it sounds like it could work, but then it just doesn't for some reason. That could explain so very much about Spanky 2B
I doubt it as spanky is too busy making new accounts and stalking folks here currently. Besides, it would also imply that spanky had a job, which clearly is not the case.
Oh, I have no idea whether that's our stinky troll or not. I was just trying the Breitbunatic strategy of making up some shit and then letting him prove that it's not true. Let Spanky be the guy who stands accused of publicly ridiculing special needs children, unlike Jack, who was only ridiculing their mother.
I refuse to believe that there's any such animal as "conservative comedian", or at least not any viable animal.
Come to think of it, isn't Golub the name of the former AMEX CEO who wanted to eliminate the Dept of Education? Why, yes it was. Could these two be related? Eric Golub certainly sounds like the result of eliminating education.
I actually had to read that twice to understand what he meant. When he said, "leftist haters," I thought he meant that people who hate leftists are lacking intelligence. "Who invited this guy," I thought. As I continued to read it finally occurred to me he was using the term "leftist" as an adjective and he meant leftists who ARE haters. But I should have known: not only are conservatives rarely funny, also they often don't take advantage of the grammar and punctuation available to them for clarity. Can you imagine what Sarah would have had to say if the "comedian" had not been part of the Breitbart mafia? Twitter would have crashed.
IOKIYAR
I believe the word you're looking for is "satirical".
Breaking News! Chris Christie still may or may not run! see http://www.gurukalehuru.com
Hey, if a man can't blogwhore on a Sunday night, then the terrorists have won.
I kind of wish they would, now…
What have you done with Negropolis? Did the tearists win? Noooooo!!1!
Here's one from yesterday (just in case you thought there would be a shortage over the Labor Day Weekend):
“I want all of our GOP candidates to take the opportunity to kill corporate capitalism that is leading to this cronyism that is killing our economy.”
Guess which clown uttered that remarkable muddle?
I'm guessing Palin, but it could have been Bachmann or Romney. Not enough witchiness for O'Donnell.
Oh that is definitely Palin.
Meanwhile Allah shoots down pillars of fire upon Texas with mighty vengeance:
http://www.statesman.com/news/catastrophic-fires-…
Just heard pRick on the radio, still going with his pray for rain strategy. Haha, pRick–it's raining here in Alien Country, and you can't have it.
I think Perry is a total douche.
But I do feel a little bit sorry for Texans. Maybe they shouldn't have voted for him in the first place.
It's a perfect metaphor for the republican party, totally willing to burn down the country if it means damaging Obama's political future. Then
creditingblaming doG.Apparently pRick didn't hear Gawd's response at the prayer rally :
"Hey asshole, this is God. I'm still waiting for the apology for aiding and abetting the shit spills in my oceans and waterways. Anyways, it's a big ole FUCK NO. In fact, I hope you like my old testament payback. BTW, the name is Allah, bitch."
Pray harder, you Nazi dress-up bitch.
Sincerely,
Zeus
God is not exactly Blessing Texas, is he?
Praying for Rain, Getting Fire. I cannot think of a more fitting definition of "irony."
Gods work in ironic ways.
Great Post. Very Funny!
Happy Labor Day, Everybody!
I hope you're all enjoying an icy-cold Sapphire Martini (with TRIPLE olives).
Love,
proudgrampa
Ah, yes.
Now this Guessing Game takes me back to my childhood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FClGhto1vIg
But which one is Perry?
I'm so confused.
There's no square.
OT: Just wondering out loud – does anyone else have a scary case of the Breitards? I got a bunch of them following me all of a sudden. I'm not sure why. Jungle fever perhaps?
Same old clown, (some) new accounts.
It says a lot about how valid their stances are (and how great their life must be) when they best they can do is stalk folks here when not banned for trolling here for several hours a day.
It's pretty much 24 hours a day. It's starting to make me feel like they/it just wants to be loved. Is that so wrong?
So Ed Rollins just dumped Bachmann. Can we say that he suckered her along to help out who? He was probably feeding her all those dumb ass "mistakes" and she was too fucked up stupid to know plus she gets the money. So it's a win/win. I think. If you like the idea of Mittens tinkering with your Obamacare which he invented, also La Jolla, CA. In my opinion metaphorically speaking.
I upfisted you. Hope that helps.
*We're* still friends,Biely, amirite? Biely?
You're not planning on giving him a new face for the ride, are ya, Biely?
You're welcome to come on down, anytime.
That's not a very *friendly* thing to say, Biely. Or do you have a flameproof "watchtower"?
I don't know whether you're a fan, but there's a much better version on the album Peggy Suicide, the first of a trilogy of albums that included Jehovakill (That'll be the Deicide) and Autogeddon. If you were a late 70s New Wave buff like me, you'll be interested to note that he was a member of a band called The Crucial Three, which fractured to become Julian's The Teardrop Explodes and Echo and the Bunnymen. Both Teardrop and Echo released versions of Read It in Books
My taste in music is, as the keeds would say, Catholic. I've been reading about Julian and he sounds absolutely fascinating, so the next step is acquiring his music to see what the "there" is, there. So, thanks for introducing me to this cool new musical thrill.
"Catholic" as in "universal", or "Catholic" as in Dean Martin?
I'd say Peggy Suicide is a great place to start. It's fairly musically accessible and shows just enough of that Ken Layne-esque disdain for modern ridiculousness.
"universal," of course. <hic!>
That has been known to happen before. It usually goes back up by itself. At least you haven't acquired the dreaded red triangle yet.
If your p doesn't go up after that, there's no hope!
Very good, will do. Thanks again.
Not actually setting a date is as friendly as I can get. Take your time — I've got forever — and don't feel rushed. It's not like we've ever lacked a fourth for bridge.
So, basically, what you're saying is, I definitely have you to look foward to?
Is it because I often end sentences with a preposition? I mean, I was warned about *that.*
When the time comes for me to give him a ride, how he looks will be pretty low on his priority list. He's expecting a planet, and I'm thinking of Mercury.
It's an invitation, not a summons.
Just don't split any more infinitives. God really hates that.
I'd like to express some sympathy for Mittens, but regrettably, don't seem to have any left. Must've used it up on Seamus the Irish setter.
I must say, it's very thoughtful of you to accommodate his religious leanings in that fashion.
A planet + 40 virgins if he mixes and matches his religions right. No guarantee that the virgins don't all look like Chris Farley though.
(mops brow) So I can expect, maybe, something nice and cooling by way of refreshment?
Believe me, Bielushka, I try.
round table?
Pizza?
I think even the pearl divers of Polynesia would say "Please, we're not that good."
Just don't drive me any further around the bend, friend.
Oh no, I'm with you. I meant that whole "eagerly await" line sarcastically.
I conducted further research for 4 more years before I believed the empirical data in front of me. 22 years behind me, now. The seed's planted, it'll take root eventually. Congratulating a drunk for not drinking is about as appropriate as congratulating a child for not burning their hand on a hot stove, but I'll do it anyway: Salud! to you both.
OK, at least not intentionally.
But first the child has to recognize that it IS a hot stove. Owls and I have just discovered the word "OUCH".
22 years is very impressive, from this novice's point of view. I'm starting to be able to visualize it. Fortunately my meetings are largely populated with veterans like yourself who take a genuine interest in seeing the novices reach the higher ranks.
I grok that "further research" thing. I think I idled at "step 0" for quite a few years before I realized that it wasn't getting any better, and money was leaving my bank account faster than it was coming in.
It's because you're a shameless slut, ttommy.
Disappointing that the book isn't from Random House.
How's the new job? Has it broken your spirit yet?
Salud from here as well. Getting a wee bit sick of "god, I bet you feel SO much better now!" back slaps. Honestly, no. No miraculous transformation into SUPER SOBER MAN! I'm just a guy who does his best to get through another day without having a drink, that's all. Am I happy that I did this, that my wife moved back in, that I can see (very vaguely) a possible path to a happier and more peaceful future? Yes, yes to all of them. But shedding 35 odd years of accumulated associations and habits linked to the booze has left me, at least, in a sort of ennui. Still, it's good to know we're not walking alone and that maybe I can still offer some back to Dew when he's got shit floating about. Bear in mind, too, that this is all my own. Have not and almost certainly will not get into AA or a like group. There's no such thing as a 'typical' drunk and there's no such thing as 'a' cure.I just did what I though would work best for me. Just like you guys did as well. Different trails, same destination. Abrazos, amigos!
You are an excellent judge of character, my friend.
…the fact that the EPA is required by law to reevaluate air quality standards every five years without regard to implementation cost. Obama is requiring his Administrator to violate the law.
I don't know about that last part because I'm not familiar with the law, and this decision does not affect the EPA's requirement to re-evaluate the standard in 2013, which would be five years after the last evaluation. There's no "possible" about it. In any case…
The deadline of implementing the 85 ppb standard in some places has been 2021 practically since this regulation first came out of the Clinton administration in '97 and was immediately delayed for four years by lawsuits. So some of the worst cities and counties wouldn't necessarily be anywhere near getting into compliance with even the old standard for another ten years even if the Obama administration had enforced the 75 ppb standard the minute they came into office.
If Lisa Jackson is no longer the EPA administrator in 2013 because we've elected a Republican, then we can assume her replacement will be someone who won't implement a new standard at all, and may even think 75 ppb is too strict, and any local government or business that is not yet in compliance will get let off the hook anyway. Hence the lawsuit theory: if an environmental group sues and wins, a judge can order even a GOP administration to implement the stricter standard. Jackson herself called the 2008 standard "legally indefensible." If she's right, then even President Perry's administration would have trouble trying to defend such a lawsuit. So if the theory is correct, then this decision is a hedge against the possibility of Obama losing the 2012 election, IF some group or other steps up and sues. Which someone probably will, since the Bushies got sued in '08 when they originally set the 75 ppb standard, which is why Lisa Jackson wanted to reconsider it in the first place instead of trying to defend it in court.
Of course, if they did try to enforce an even stricter standard – say 70 ppb, business groups would probably sue and tie it up in court until after Obama's second term, or until the Roberts court takes up the case and probably decides against the administration anyway. See how much fun this is?
So maybe the lawsuit theory above is correct, or maybe the Obama administration looked at all the EPA regulations it's trying to enforce and decided to concentrate resources fighting for some that can get implemented with less of a fight from the business community (see the standards for vehicle fuel-efficiency put in place earlier this year, which will also in the long term cut down on ground ozone plus particulate pollution, which is in some ways even more damaging to human health than smog.) I don't know for sure about that, because I just don't know all the ins and outs. But it seems to me this is yet another move in a regulatory chess game that has already been going on at least since the Clean Air Act was signed in 1990, and will probably go on long into the future. Meanwhile, at least some states will get impatient and clean some of their problems up on their own, without waiting for federal guidance, as California has done.
EDIT: I'm not saying it's a good sign, nor a bad sign. It's simply one more move that has a much wider context beyond ZOMG NOBAMER CAVED TO REPUBS AGAIN WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR HIS RE-ELECTION, which is about the extent of the media analysis, which is about as deep into the weeds on anything as most voters will then get.
Greetings, Bird. I haven't been around lately, and I see you haven't either. I hope that's a benign coincidence. I wanted to put aside the notion that there may be any sort of resentment. I hope you don't feel that I was pushing any kind of "one true remedy" bullshit on you, because I certainly didn't intend to, and I don't believe that anyway. Only when you appeared to be soliciting specific advice did I recommend what had been working for me. I never meant to imply otherwise — it's not my style to give unsolicited or dogmatic advice. My advice is rarely any good, anyway. Sorry, dude.
Let us know how it's going. We still care.
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