hates his life

Questioning Rick Santorum Is “Bigotry,” According To Rick Santorum

Whiny rodent Rick Santorum has faced a lot of prejudice lately, especially since gay people are out doing jihad to him, every single day. And even the non-gay people are ganging up on him now. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE BIGOTS, screams Rick Santorum.

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum defended his position on gay marriage Tuesday while speaking to students at Pennsylvania State University, and slammed CNN’s Piers Morgan for questioning him as a “bigot” in a pre-taped interview that aired Wednesday night.

“I had Piers Morgan call me a bigot, because I believe what the Catholic Church teaches with respect to homosexuality,” Santorum said, heatedly. “So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches.”

In the interview, Morgan pressed the former Pennsylvania senator on his moral beliefs about gay rights, an issue he’s repeatedly spoken about on the campaign trail.

Santorum said he subscribes to the Catholic Church’s teachings, which deem homosexuality a sin.

Morgan argued that people have a difficult time coming out because “of the level of bigotry that’s out there against them.”

“And I have to say that your views you’ve espoused on this issue are bordering on bigotry, aren’t they?” Morgan asked, adding that society has evolved in how it views homosexuality.

Santorum countered that the Church’s position is founded on more than 2,000 years of history. To adapt those beliefs based on the changing ways of society, he said, would be immoral.

Santorum then lobbed a charge of bigotry back at Morgan.

“Trying to redefine something that is seen as wrong – from the standpoint of a church – and saying a church is bigoted because it holds that opinion that is biblically based, I think that is, in itself, an act of bigotry,” Santorum said.

Today, we are all bigots. [CNN]

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Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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160 comments

  1. CarnyTrash

    Santorum then added, "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Nanny-nanny, goo-goo. Stick your head in doo-doo."

  2. Barb

    Rick, you aren't running for the President of the Catholic Church, ya know.
    Church <——————————————–>State
    Let's keep it that way.

  3. ttommyunger

    No doubt then Little Ricky must also support slavery, divorce by proclamation, legalized prostitution and polygamy, since they are all accepted Biblical practices.

    1. Barb

      Oh TTommy, if you could "divorce by proclamation" My monogram would read like a freaking eye chart.*

      *not you Jeffer, I love you.

      1. ttommyunger

        “I divorce you!” “I divorce you!” “I divorce you!” A lot handier, quicker and tons cheaper than today's system, no?

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Or, if you're Muslim, "Talaq, talaq, talaq." You can just text it to the current wife, or whatever.

          Although I believe Malaysian women are trying to pass a law against that.

        1. DashboardBuddha

          Nah…most shellfish are equal opportunity scavengers. You're average crab wouldn't turn up his nose at the freshly rotting corpse of such a man on the sea floor. They're open-minded that way.

          1. ttommyunger

            Well, at least you made my day with that pleasant word-picture of Little Ricky sleeping with the fishes.

          2. Pristine_ODummy

            My younger brother told me that (due to the Mosaic dietary laws) crab are abundant in Karachi because the local people, being mostly Muslim, don't eat them. So he, and several of his friends who were in that city made the most of the opportunity eating as much crab as they could probably stuff in their faces.

            Then they found out that corpses are pretty routinely dumped in the surrounding waterways.

        2. Pristine_ODummy

          Given their respective ranks on the evolutionary chain, they probably wouldn't be seen dead with him. Although they wouldn't … yeah, what DashboardBuddha said.

    2. ShaveTheWhales

      And any minute he's gonna give all his worldly goods to the poor and become a holy beggar. (as opposed to the assholey bugger he is now).

    3. Pristine_ODummy

      Not to mention the Mosaic dietary laws. No more lobster or shrimp for YOU, Xtians!

      Yay, more lobster and shrimp for ME!

      1. ttommyunger

        Not to pick nits, but it is teh Jooze than have the problem with shellfish. Christians were liberated from such watery bigotry by the New Testament. I'm betting Lobster is a staple for Little Ricky, regardless.

        1. Pristine_ODummy

          Well, it wasn't Jesus who ever said anything about Hating On Teh Gheys — that comes from the OLD Testament. So if Li'l Ricky wants to go all OT on us, he'd better live by every fucking jot and tittle of it. No shellfish, no mixed fibers in his clothing, and regular sacrifices of burnt animals.

          Yay lobster and shrimp for me.

          1. ttommyunger

            You've got that shit right. Can't have a “Buffet” in that regard. Pick OT or NT, motherfucker, there is no such thing as an OT Christian; the name for that is Hypocrite.

          2. Pristine_ODummy

            Thank you. I might not have read every translation of the Bible, but I do know the difference between OT and NT. ;)

          3. ttommyunger

            MF was directed at Ricky, you knew that, right? Buffet (originally descriptive of Catholics) refers to those who pick the parts of the Bible they like and ignore the bits they don't.

          4. Pristine_ODummy

            I knew that, ttommy. Even though you're CRUEL, you're never mean. :)

            Reading a little of the Mormon scriptures right now. And I thought the Cat'licks were bad!

  4. nounverb911

    "Santorum said he subscribes to the Catholic Church’s teachings, which deem homosexuality a sin."
    Except for the pedophile priests.

  5. OkieDokieDog

    I've decided this Santorum guy is a masochist. I wonder what happened between him and his mommy or what the heck is going on with him and the wife.

    And why hasn't Piers been deported? Someone check his papers.

    1. baconzgood

      Can everyone do me and everyone else in PA a small favor? Even though he's not, can we say he's from Alabama from now on?

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Yes, it's called Home. Mommy teaches them so they'll grow up to be just like Daddy. And what do you want to bet he pays his wife a couple of bucks so he can justify deducting half his house on his taxes.

          1. Pristine_ODummy

            I thought he was having them educated at some fancy Catholic school in VA and submitted the bills for their education to PA to pay, which caused a, what can we possibly call it, foofaraw?

            But the other wouldn't surprise me either. He's a scamming,lying, hypocritical, BrooksBrothers thug.

          2. Jukesgrrl

            As a former constituent of the Rickster, I have all the deets on the foofaraw. During his rein of terror on PA, the senator bought a $750K home in Leesburg, VA, large enough for his home-schooled brood. The Santorums had as their “legal” residence, however, a pile in Penn Hills, a suburb of Pittsburgh, that they rented, making it seemingly impossible for them to live there.Because Karen Santorum was home-schooling, she got her legally required official curricula from the Pennsylvania Charter Cyber School in Midland, PA. To cover the $38,000-per-child-per-year cost of these computer-generated lessons (which come with human-teacher support) the school district the student LIVES IN (remember that key phrase) is required by PA law to pay PA Cyber 80%. And given the number of kids the Santorums have, the bill was a tidy sum, born annually by the tax payers who live in the Penn Hills School District. At some point the Democrats on the school board had had enough. The plot thickened weekly. The Dems threatened to sue. The GOP claimed the Santorum tenants were related to him, so he was allowed to live in the Penn Hills house when he felt like it. The Dems remembered that Rick was also taking a special tax deduction on the PA house allowed to RESIDENTS. Rick said his PA driver's license was enough to make him a resident. Virginia said, “Don't look at us!” Everybody was supposed to forget that Rick won his first important election claiming that the Congressman in the job was a “carpetbagger” and didn't live in his district. Rick put his kids in an obnoxious TV commercial defending his position. The school board demanded a minimum $100,000 reimbursement.The resolution was equally absurd. Penn Hills ended up accepting $55,000 from the Pennsylvania Department of Education that amazingly took responsibility for Rick's behavior, saying they hadn't been clear in their requirements. Rick skated. The children make jelly in their spare time. Leesburg is still home. The entire family is still utterly creepy. End of story.—

          3. Pristine_ODummy

            My god. That is FAScinating. What a lying sack of shit he is. No wonder he's at 1% or less in the polls.

            Thank you very much for the juicy details.

          4. Jukesgrrl

            You're very welcome. I never tire of bringing attention to the shit-smell coming from that quarter. He is vile in so many ways.

    1. Pristine_ODummy

      I'd love to see Li'l Ricky on a dog. A pit bull. A LARGE ANGRY PIT BULL who would be biting Li'l Ricky to death as people stood around watching, but doing nothing.

      Cop: "Why didn't you intervene?"
      Person1: "Well, he seemed to be having a good time …"
      Person2: "Besides, have you ever heard him go on about man-on-dog sex?"

  6. __kth__

    The Other Rick, what with 2% of the teanuts at his beck and call, will have to say something a lot crazier (not merely whiny and hysterical like this shit) to ping my give-a-fuck-ometer.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Hey Rick — bigotry, unlike homosexuality, is a choice, not some biological difference you were born with. Remember when the anti-gay-rights crowd used to say that was an important distinction? And they said it's okay to discriminate against people who are doing something as a choice because they could just change and be "normal?"

    Well welcome to voluntary second-class citizenship, you bigoted fuck. Your drinking fountain is right over there by the bigots-only door.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      "Santorum bigotry" anagrams to "Musty or aborting"

      (Or, if Rick wants to be like Sarah, he could try "Aborting My Tours")

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I like "A Porno Stick Rumor" just to mix it up… it sounds like the first chapter in my autobiography.

        And now I want a porno stick. It sounds delicious, like something at the Iowa fair…

  8. Guppy06

    “So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches.”

    Glad we were able to clear that one up for you!

    Homosexuality is as much a sin as uppity women and slave revolts.

  9. Crank_Tango

    Rick may not know it, but the best word that applies to him is really "faggotry," whatever that means.

  10. elviouslyqueer

    Dear Rick:

    Just so we're clear. I loathe you because you're a candy-assed, smarmy, religio-fanatical, so-far-back-in-the-closet-you-can-see-Narnia asshole. This doesn't make me a bigot so much as it makes me an enlightened homosexual who sees you for what you really are. Which is an asshole.

    Just thought I'd spell it out for you, in case you missed the distinction. You're welcome, yet again.

    EQ

    1. user-of-owls

      Amigo, you should really start appending Esquire to your signature. That way, when you finally get that big time modeling gig, all of your fans here can say,

      "ooh, oooh! Did you hear? EQ, Esq. is in GQ!"

    2. mourningnmerica

      Thank you, E. Mostly, this guy is just desperate to be noticed. Narcissistically desperate. Of all the Republican candidates, I would most like to see him glittered. Plus, at every campaign stop, it would be great if he were showered with dildos. Like to the point where he would have to duck and cover every time he began to speak. Dildos like the frogs in "Magnolia". I know this would be expensive, but I would gladly contribute.

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        Perhaps if they were small, foam-rubber replicas of penii? Cheaply manufactured. We could distribute them to anyone brave enough to go see Santorum.

    3. anniegetyerfun

      I actually can't even get past his horrible, horrible face to consider what he thinks. See face, hate person. Does that make me a bigot? Probably. Against horrible-faced people.

  11. mavenmaven

    Now human sacrifice, that's been going on for more than six thousand years, so to adapt those beliefs based on the changing ways of society, he said, would be totally effing immoral, amirite?

  12. bumfug

    Rick's behind the Catholic Church's view of things because they have 2000 years of history and everyone knows gays just started being gay in maybe 1880, about the time that Oscar Wilde first took it up the butt.

  13. mumbly_joe

    I wasn't sure about this, so I did a google search, and I found out:

    big·ot noun ˈbi-gəta person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

    So in conclusion: Yes, Santorum is a bigot, and NO, reaching the considered conclusion that Santorum espouses bigotry is not, itself, a form of bigotry. Because, by definition, it's not prejudiced. It's a conclusion reached by engaging and discussing the topic and considering the preponderance of the evidence in record to date.

    It says so in the dictionary. Which, I mean, is no Bible, but since dictionaries have existed in some form or another for 4,400 years, that means that by Santorum's own standards, it's an even more reliable source than the Bible is. Right?

    1. chicken_thief

      There you go again, Joe! Gettin' all factual and logical and doin' yer elitist thinking. Sacrifice a lamb, say two Our Fathers and two Hail Marys and make a good Act of Contrition. And never furgit – them homos suck cock and have buttsecks!!!

      Wait….. why do we hate them again?!

      1. DahBoner

        "Wait….. why do we hate them again?!"

        Because when we see two dudes walking down the street holding hands, that means there are two more women out there to shoot us down!

  14. Chichikovovich

    I wonder if Rick has ever been out with the family for a weekend camping trip. Make a bonfire, roast some marshmallows…. 'Cause the Bible is quite clear on the consequences of gathering sticks on a Sunday.

  15. BarackMyWorld

    "I believe what the Catholic Church teaches with respect to homosexuality"

    Someone explain to Rick he's not just running for president of the Catholic Americans.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Oh, but he is — I think Rick believes he's John the Baptist if not Jesus himself, and his public scourging will be his gift to his followers forever. Wow, I need to sober up.

    2. baconzgood

      If you move some of the words out he believes that the Catholic Church respects homosexuality. I'm just sayin, it's a start.

    3. FakaktaSouth

      It's also real weird how people here down here in the dirty-dirty South (the place that's gonna actually vote for these folks) STILL hate the Kennedy legacy 'cause of the Catholic thing, but here this guy thinks it makes him Jesus-y. They are trying to wrassle with things they don't know from in Pennsylvania. They may call the rural parts of that state "Alabama" cause they are dumb and have guns, but it ain't.

  16. Negropolis

    “So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches.”

    Guess what Rick? That's entirely possible. The Old Testament is rife with God teaching, no, commanding bigotry as a virtue. You see that heathen village over there, Israelities? Yeah, that one. Burn it to the ground and kill every fucking living thing in it. Oh, except that prostitute, because she said she believed in me.

    I love how many religious folks seem to think that the passage of time in and of its self is some kind of legitimate authority. That somehow an idea or belief is good and true simply by virute of having existed many years.

    1. gizdal

      yes, with the passing of time, even freaky "religions" such as mormonsim and scientology will be seen as Official,Accepted Traditional religious superstition/insanity.

      age along gives them respectability. strange but true.

    2. DahBoner

      But the Bible also teaches you to kill anyone who works on a Saturday.

      THAT PART OF THE BIBLE ISN'T TRUE, BUT THE ENTIRE BIBLE IS TRUE!

    1. DahBoner

      Not at all!

      Darwin's theories perfectly explain that sometimes there are stagnant "evolutionary backwaters" where evolution doesn't happen or even goes in reverse.

      WELCOME TO TEXAS SON!!!

  17. Redhead

    Trying to "redefine" something that Santorum insists is in the bible even though it actually isn't and is just an excuse for him to be butthurt over what Dan Savage did to his name is bigotry? Hmmmm.

    1. chicken_thief

      Dan Savage is my hero! I love that Ricky just digs himself deeper and deeper with every stupid utterance that escapes his lips. Fuck with the bull, Santorum, and sometimes you get the horns. So FUCK YOU!!!

      Kudos, Dan! Who's next on your list and how can I help?

      1. Pristine_ODummy

        He's planning to redefine "Rick," which will get Santorum back for his *continuing* bigotry, but should also make DinglePerry less than happy.

      2. Redhead

        I saw something the other day (quite possibly in a comment on here) that was a video of Savage describing how he wants to now redefine Ricky's first name… and what he wants to redefine it to…

  18. johnnyzhivago

    If you just woke up from a coma, you would have to wonder what the fuck parallel universe you've been transported to when Piers Morgan has a show on CNN and he's talking to Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum.

  19. Goonemeritus

    So Rick’s plan to pull his campaign out of utter irrelevance is to play the victim card. First off I think you are looking at some copyright issues with Sarah. Secondly this year only Republicans that still have that new Republican smell are getting any attention. I think it may be time to load up the family truckster and point it towards home.

  20. FakaktaSouth

    "Bigotry" is stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own (like not being Catholic, so – there ya go Rick, this is you). And see? I am not this. I don't need anyone to believe what I believe. I need for fucktards who like to marginalize others through ignorance, fear and hatred for absolutely nothing but their own political benefit to evolve on out of existence. Totally different.

  21. baconzgood

    "Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically you can't even go to the bathroom"

    -Rev. Lovejoy-

    1. mumbly_joe

      Even though it's the Simpsons, this is actually intended as a factual statement. It's in Leviticus 15- you can't sit anywhere a menstruating woman has, which rules out public women's bathrooms and unisex bathrooms, pretty much entirely.

  22. chicken_thief

    Savage so thoroughly owns this bitch that every time he opens his mouth, regardless of what words he uses, it just sounds to me like squeals of agony from another savage anal raping. Yet somehow, I don't feel one bit sorry for the ….. prick? asshole? piece of shit?

      1. DahBoner

        But is it homo to eat pork rinds at the World's Longest Yard Sale in August on Highway 127 between Kentucky and Alabama?

        Because I heard homos like antiques….

  23. BornInATrailer

    “So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches.”

    Lemme take a stab at this with a carefully crafted and complete response.

    Yes.

  24. BTWBFDIMHO

    Wikipedia about bigot:
    The predominant usage in modern English refers to persons hostile to those of differing sex, race, ethnicity, religion or spirituality, nationality, inter-regional prejudice, gender and sexual orientation…

    Yes, Rick, you are a bigot.

  25. comrad_darkness

    "So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches."

    Bingo. And so were the bastards who banned interracial marriage citing the exact same "bible".

  26. poorgradstudent

    To be fair, I really am bigoted myself. Not against Catholics, mind, but against self-righteous assholes.

  27. GOPCrusher

    It's Labor Day weekend, the official end of summer! Is santorum on the lips of all young Republiklans?

  28. hagajim

    “I had Piers Morgan call me a bigot, because I believe what the Catholic Church teaches with respect to homosexuality.”

    I guess this means that Ricky likes to bugger little boys….isn't that what the Catholic Church teaches?

  29. archikvetch

    But he does love the sinner, just not the sin, right? So he's not just a bigot, he's an asshole. Pious, but still an asshole. And The Sermon on the Mount promises that "…and the pious shall dwell in the Santorum…"

  30. KeepFnThatChicken

    Mr. Santorum,

    Like it or not, this country doesn't base its code of conduct on "sinfulness." As with other former churchgoers, we know where you are, and we even understand why you're there.

    But to lead us, you must leave that bullshit behind. You're not permitted to lead us as our President, with a junk-ass whiny attitude like that.

    Regards,
    us

    P.S. Also, dinosaur.

  31. KeepFnThatChicken

    Also, Rick, if you think this is bigotry, you might ask a homosexual how they feel about that.

  32. occams8ball

    “I had Piers Morgan call me a bigot, because I believe what the Catholic Church teaches with respect to homosexuality,” Santorum said, heatedly. “So now I’m a bigot because I believe what the Bible teaches.”

    Ricky, you really should record yourself and listen to what you say.

    (later that day)

    "nothing wrong with that."
    click
    "nothing wrong with that"
    click etc.

  33. Midway117

    Didn't JFK try to tamp down the anti-papist contingent by assuring people that he would do what was good for America, not just the Catholic Church? And now, this. I got 2,000 years of history right HERE, buddy.

  34. antispandex

    I'm with him. So, when will we bringing back stoning? I haven't been to a good stoning in…heck, EVER!

  35. lunaursus

    This is the guy, who nearly every week, comes out with some outlandish declaration…….only to keep his name out there. If he didn't do what I call Ass Talking, for attention, NOBODY would remember him.

Comments are closed.