BOTH OF THEM  4:09 pm September 1, 2011

All the Black People In G.W. Bush’s Administration Angry At Dick Cheney

by Ken Layne

'Fuck you.' 'No, fuck YOU.'With former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice now publicly complaining about Dick Cheney’s “cheap shots” in his bullshit book about how he is the Number One Hitler of All History and everybody else can suck it, both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not not even having the professional courtesy of a hyena.

“I don’t appreciate the attack on my integrity that that implies,” Rice told Reuters about one of the bullshit things in Cheney’s book. While experts say Rice already lacks any integrity at all, White House insiders always thought she was not quite as bad as Cheney, because come on.

Colin Powell said on Sunday that Cheney’s complaints were “cheap shots.” Cheney snarled back through a spokesman that if he had his way, black people would still be slaves, and that people should quit fucking challenging him because he can still have everyone killed, if he wants. [Reuters]

 

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{ 148 comments }

Extemporanus September 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm

George Bush doesn't care about Dick Cheney not caring about black people.

justkillmenow September 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Is there a crazy middle eastern dictator with a porn notebook of Cheney photos? I don't think so! Condi should win this one by a Ferragamo.

Giveusabob September 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Muammar has not been caught yet. No telling what photographic abominations he keeps in his iPhone, on his purple-robed person.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Is that you, Sparkle Pony?

memzilla September 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I suppose the German version of Emperor Cheney's tome is titled "My Struggle."

Pragmatist2 September 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Not a lot of Mein Kampf jokes any more. The folks in the Tea Party will appreciate the nostalgia.

Pragmatist2 September 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Let me just say this – when you choose to work with an asshole don't act surprised that he shits on you.

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

…and the scorpion always stings the frog

smokefilleddoommate September 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Also, he's a Dick, so he'll fuck you every chance he gets.

WhatTheHeck September 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.

Geminisunmars September 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Lie down with fleas, get up bitten.

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:18 am

Lie down with Cheneys, and get a faceful of buckshot.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Man. That's what everyone sais about me at the office. You don't happen to work on the 48th floor do you?

Pragmatist2 September 1, 2011 at 5:05 pm

49th

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Carl? Is that you? Sorry. Seriously, I'm REALLY SORRY. I had NO idea that that was your lunch bag I put the crickets in….I was trying to get back at Liam for his whole "Nixon got a bad rap" speech, and he's the only one I know that has that stupid turquoise fanny pack cooler. I'm soooooo sorry 'cause your cool!

(this comment is 100% snark free-Honestly if you are Carl I am sorry)

Toomush_Infer September 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

"You knew I was a snake when you met me…."

sati_demise September 1, 2011 at 8:37 pm

jinks

sati_demise September 1, 2011 at 8:37 pm

and the snake always bites you

Grief_Lessons September 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Dick Cheney will not rest until he can sleep on a mile-high pile of corpses. Only then will he slip into sweet dreams, of even greater carnage and murder.

dr_giraud September 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm

That's what's so puzzling. Why hasn't Cheney returned to the comforts of his eternal pit of fire and despair? Clearly he misses it.

deanbooth September 1, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Like the Princess and the Pea, he'd wake up in the middle of the night grumbling, "I feel a smile."

hagajim September 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

So as we all already knew, Cheney is a DICK!

Barb September 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I love that Dick sat down with Fox news to discuss his book. Cheney talking to Fox news is like Mrs Butterworth talking to the Pancake Channel.

Grief_Lessons September 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Is it wrong that I fap to the pancake channel late at night?

Barb September 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Go ahead, beat your dick like it owes you money.

Grief_Lessons September 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm

In a way it does.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I never heard that before. I love it and I'm stealing it, OK?

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm

The Dickster's doing a full media blitz and would be on Colbert if the latter weren't on vacation. Think I saw him on the Weather Channel the other day. O'Donnell's doing an epic, mulitpart takedown every night, interviewing other witnesses to the same events to disprove the Cheeneey version.

qwerty42 September 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm

O'Donnell? The witch? or not-witch or something?

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Lawrence, MSNBC 5 PM Pacific, if you can bear it.

SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I don't know if he'd go on Colbert; Cheney's never given an interview to anyone that wasn't a sympathetic right-win hack as far as I can recall.

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm

We know he’ll do anything for money and/or power, and did do MTP while still in office, if that counts as a less-friendly environment. Granted, Colbert isn’t serious enough for a Great Man like Cheney.

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 7:33 pm

MTP counts as a brain-dead environment.

Barb September 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I miss Colbert. Luckily, my donation to his Super Pac was announced on the scroll at the bottom of the TV screen on the last show he did before vacation.

AnAmericanInTO September 1, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Oh Congrats, Barb!

I thank you for your service and, perhaps, having some small involvement with the mockery of Rick PArry.

AJWjr. September 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm

He and Stewart return tonight. Must be a contractual thing, I'd have stayed out until Tuesday.

NewtsChicknNeck September 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Dick Cheney doesn't care about black people. no, really.

He doesn't give a teaspoon of a shit. and besides, his darkness is post-racial.

genxr September 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

You know who else wrote a self-serving memoir that took cheap shots at minorities?

SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Julius Caesar?

charlesdegoal September 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm

James Joyce?

tribbzthesquidz September 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Miles Davis?

Jerri September 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Brigette Bardot?

MozakiBlocks September 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Sarah Palin?

BTWBFDIMHO September 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Dominique Strauss-Kahn?

weejee September 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Martin Luther?

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Louis Farrakhan?

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Ahem,

all of them, Katie?

tcaalaw September 2, 2011 at 10:26 am

Sophia Loren?

SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

This makes me miss Princess Sparkle Pony.

MissTaken September 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm

me too.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm

What? Did Peteykins die in the last couple of days?

nounverb911 September 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

There were black people in the Bush administration?

BTWBFDIMHO September 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Someone had to serve the tea with cookies.

Geminisunmars September 1, 2011 at 5:44 pm

BPINO

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:41 pm

ALBINO

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Theoretically.

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:20 am

Yes, nominally.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I'm still wondering how he got out of blasting someone in the face with buckshot while 3 sheets to the wind.

Grief_Lessons September 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

He receives special consideration: had he not been shooting a guy in the face he actually would have been doing something else more dangerous and hurtful. It's a reprive for the human race when he's only attempting to murder one person at a time.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

It didn't surprise me though. I knew he couldn't go two terms without peppering someone in the face with lead at least once.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:44 pm

What happens on the Armstrong Ranch stays on the Armstrong Ranch.

AznMom420 September 2, 2011 at 5:45 pm

He only shot that justice with bird not buck shot. It's not like he as a complete disregard for the law, god.

slithytoves September 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

My alt text for Cheney in that picture is "Hmm, fried kittens for dinner would hit the spot."

Keep your claws off Mr. Happy you pigfucker!

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:46 pm

After 6 (or is it 93?) heart attacks, he has to lay off the fried foods. Microwaving them is faster, easier, and more enjoyable for him, anyways.

PuckStopsHere September 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Maybe Rick Perry will make DICK the head of his VP candidate search cmte.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Tee-Hee

"DICK"

(Man-O-man did his parents have forsight)

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:47 pm

They didn't have the foresight to have the last name of Johnson.

chascates September 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Have a heart, Dick!

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Better yet, have a Chicken Heart, Dick!

bumfug September 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

When Condoleeza Rice dies, her tombstone should read "She Wasn't Quite As Bad As Dick Cheney". Then we can all go piss on her grave.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Not me. When I got out of the Army I swore I'd never wait in line again.

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Win

sezme September 1, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Ok, as long as we can poop on Cheney. If it's even technically possible for him to die, that is.

elviouslyqueer September 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Good grief, that linked pic of Condi looks like Cheney sucked out her soul. Makes the whole "casting aspersions" thing look positively limp by comparison.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Looks like she's in need of some human blood.

DashboardBuddha September 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Is it me, but does anyone else find it weird that the man who was a "heartbeat away from the presidency", didn't have a heart?

Geminisunmars September 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Neither did the presidency.

charlesdegoal September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

OK, but Alphonso Jackson is still to be heard from.

SexySmurf September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

I don’t appreciate the attack on my integrity that that implies.

An excerpt from Condi's upcoming memoir, Tyler Perry's Diary of a Slightly Peeved Black Women.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 6:20 pm

But she doesn't say she actually has integrity. Only that she doesn't appreciate the attack.

I was hoping shed'd say something more like, "He said he was leaving her! I did everything he asked. I wanted kids, you know. But I waited. I waited. Goddamn him. Goddamn him to Hell."

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

It is a rather strange grouping of words, huh? "that that implies.", indeed.

AJWjr. September 1, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Back in '04, she disparaged Barbara Boxer for "impugning" her credibility and integrity, so she apparently was under the impression she had integrity back then as well.

OkieDokieDog September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Code Pink is wanting people to move Dick's book to other sections of the bookstores. Like fiction, crime, composting, in the rest rooms trash cans, whatever.

Oh – I bet Condi will do that now since she's been dissed.

mumbly_joe September 1, 2011 at 5:11 pm

The problem is, most book stores call their crime sections "True Crime", and Cheney's book is pointedly lacking in the former.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Fantasy and science fiction would be more like.

Crank_Tango September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

All both of them?

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

All the both of them, Katie.

Goonemeritus September 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm

In the evil Olympics Rice and Powel couldn’t even hold Cheney’s jock strap (I just threw up in my mouth a little).

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Cheney's Editor: Listen Dick we're going to change some of the wording in the chapters about Rice and Powell.

Cheney: GRRRRAAAAHHHHHHH BRAINS!!! Why?

Cheney's Editor: Well…you refer to them as Nigger 1 and Nigger 2.

(Please don't beat Baconz good. I like black people and have black friends-I really do- I'm just snarking)

ManchuCandidate September 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

It's pretty much a given that the only person that Dick "Dick" Cheney won't be a dick to is himself.

edgydrifter September 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm

I guess ol' Dick figures his vampire robo-heart really will keep him going forever, because the way he's burning bridges they won't ever find six pallbearers for this asshole's casket.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 6:58 pm

T-Paw only destroyed onefreakin' bridge, and no likes him, eithzzzzzzzzz.

Indiepalin September 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I can understand TWO of the black people (sic) in the Bush administration hating Cheney's guts, heck, the law of averages. But ALL of them??!! This points to a deeper problem entirely.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 6:14 pm

To be fair, Ron Christie still loves Cheney's guts.

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:25 am

I think you misspoke. Ron Christie still loves Cheney's nuts.

BlueStateLibel September 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Dick Cheney does not care about people, period. He would eat your heart in a second no matter if you were green, orange or purple (though he perfers the glowing pink of newborn infants).

MissTaken September 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Dick's just pissed that Condi would only bang Bush

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:26 am

Yes, I hear that bush is the only thing Condi likes to bang…maybe in another time, dick.

Rotundo_ September 1, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Goodness, if Dick annoys very many more people, my vision of a perpetual urinal for his grave will come to pass. They're going to have to bury him in gravel and ice it down a couple times a day to keep the odor down like they do in really skanky restrooms. Except the monument will be in granite or marble celebrating a vice president of the United States of America instead of a little scawl saying "This is a teepee for you to peepee, not a wigwam to beat your tomtom.

MissTaken September 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

PLEASE tell me that's what public men's restrooms really say.

not that Dewey September 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

No, mostly they say "Trust Ted Weeks" or "Don't Ever Antagonize The Horn"

Sue4466 September 1, 2011 at 4:37 pm

"While experts say Rice already lacks any integrity at all, White House insiders always thought she was not quite as bad as Cheney, because come on."

This line made my day. Excellent subtle snark. Bless you.

Limeylizzie September 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm

When will the vile Lizzus Dickus of the Cheney Dynasty come out and snarl….

Guppy06 September 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm

But did he get any of the black people knocked up?

Radiotherapy® September 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Number One Hitler of All History

I knew Joe Stalin, and you Mr. Cheney are no Joe Stalin.

The variant of this comment, obvsly, is: You know who else was the Number One Hitler of All History?

mumbly_joe September 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm

According to wikipedia, Alois Hitler?

genxr September 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Jimmy Carter?

mumbly_joe September 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Variant of this reply, obviously, is Craig Ferguson?

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm

One-year old Hitler?

LiveToServeYa September 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Let this be only the beginning of the Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth of the officials of the Bush administration. Let there be a Pox upon their house. Let Woe engulf them. Woe and strife and bickering and, in the end, defeat. And constipation. And electile dysfunction.

smashedinhat September 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Dick Cheney is the human equivalent of the honey badger. Except the honey badger is, you know, alive.

genxr September 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm

and the honey badger makes a positive contribution to the ecosystem.

weejee September 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm

All this valor and swagger from a fricking war wimp draft dodger?

Toomush_Infer September 1, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Yeah, that part always floors me – all through the Great Debacle I kept thinking, this smarmy little asshole couldn't last five minutes in any bar I've spent time in…

ibwilliamsi September 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I don't think you have to be black to be pissed at Cheney for saying that you sat tearfully next to him and admitted you were wrong – when you didn't and you weren't – just saying that about ANY woman is insufferable.

FWIW, Condi was a worthless pawn and nothing more. She laid down with dogs and she got fleas. Boo 'fing hoo.

Wilcoxyz September 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Sure Cheney's a dick, but lighten up, Condi. After eight years of endorsing that shit sandwich, you can take another bite.

TimWasTim September 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm

This kind of criticism really gets Cheney's pulse racing.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Finally, some good news!

undeservingpoor September 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm

As the only black person in the Jefferson Administration, shouldn't Sally Hemings have a say about all this brouhaha?

O/T, but looks like Brandon McInerney may walk.
Or maybe it ain't O/T, maybe there's some connection between Dick Cheney and a kid who murders a gay 14-year-old in cold blood and gets off scot free.

stopthemovie September 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Condi can't take any more Dick.

mrblifil September 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Ooh Dick must be inconsolable, having his reputation lowered in the eyes of a person of color.

AlterNewt September 1, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Although symbolically it wouldn't make a lot of sense to glitter-bomb Cheney, it still seems like it ought to be done.

KenLayIsAlive September 1, 2011 at 6:41 pm

I assume by "glitter" you mean "pipe".

lulzmonger September 1, 2011 at 11:05 pm

If the "glitter" is white phosphorus, it makes perfect sense.
Extra bonus points if the delivery team is made up entirely of Kurds.

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:29 am

If by glitter you mean car, yes, Cheney needs to be "glitter"-bombed.

AlterNewt September 2, 2011 at 9:04 am

I am advised that all of the above actions would be illegal, and therefore categorically deny suggesting any of them.

donner_froh September 1, 2011 at 6:33 pm

both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not not even having the professional courtesy of a hyena.

I disagree with Rice and Powell. Cheney does have the professional courtesy (and, if the rumors are true, the table manners) of a hyena.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Oh wow! Dissed by these two. How humiliating! Powell's been tossing the Massa's salad ever since he headed up damage control for the Mai Lai Massacre. Rice? Face it, only she and Laura would ever fuck Dubya and Laura had to get drunk both times.

KenLayIsAlive September 1, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Hearing this bunch make noise about their "integrity" being maligned is truly amusing.

It's like a nudist complaining that no one appreciates their fashion sense.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Is this that book everybody is mad about, where a white author dares to imagine and fictionalize the experiences of the negro servant characters?

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Nobody took the low-hanging fruit?

"All the blacks in W's Administration? What does Barry say in the book?"

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Now that's snark.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Nice to see you! Thought you were pissed or something.

ShaveTheWhales September 1, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Ah, some pissed, but pissed doesn't have to mean irrational.

Tundra Grifter September 1, 2011 at 7:06 pm

"Both" Black people? You forgot about the Black vote that elected George Bush – Justice Clarence Thomas.

widget2011 September 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Plz die already, before anorther idiot has you do a search for GOOper VP candidate, Mr. Objectivity. America can't take another 4 years of Dick.

owhatever September 1, 2011 at 8:04 pm

But George W. says he still likes Dick.

sati_demise September 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm

alt text win.

Zombie Dick!

Condolezbian!

the tale of a shoe model and a sadist

Come here a minute September 1, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Now you admit Cheney is an asshole? Were were you ten years ago? Oh yeah, National "Security" Advisor. You should have resigned on 9/12.

comrad_darkness September 1, 2011 at 9:54 pm

The Tracksuit Princess and the Pale Undead.

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:32 am

Wow, J.K. Rowling is really branching out, these days.

lulzmonger September 1, 2011 at 11:10 pm

In a better world, these two would have long since occupied adjacent gurneys, then had their bodies buried at a crossroad, their severed heads stuffed with garlic.

That is all.

widget2011 September 2, 2011 at 6:25 am

In al alternative universe, they would be really great guys!

Negropolis September 2, 2011 at 2:15 am

I wish I could feel sorry for Rice, but there is no honor among fear and war mongers.

Yes, all two of them put their then decent-to-good names and reputations on the line to help bring about one of the most pointless wars in American history. You'll probably never be forgiven for that, and especially if you don't ever genuinely apologize for your parts in it. And "I was only following orders" will not suffice. You all let us down; you all let us down in a very big way.

carlgt1 September 2, 2011 at 9:33 am

so when Repugs throw you under the bus, they make sure it's the back of the bus?

SaintRond September 2, 2011 at 10:21 am

That cunt.

Peace… God bless…

Porter Melmoth September 2, 2011 at 2:37 pm

There was only about 1.5 black people in that there administration, so it's really not that big a deal.

DahBoner September 2, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Cheney's real name is "Richard", but his friends call him a Dick…

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