'Fuck you.' 'No, fuck YOU.'With former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice now publicly complaining about Dick Cheney’s “cheap shots” in his bullshit book about how he is the Number One Hitler of All History and everybody else can suck it, both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not not even having the professional courtesy of a hyena.

“I don’t appreciate the attack on my integrity that that implies,” Rice told Reuters about one of the bullshit things in Cheney’s book. While experts say Rice already lacks any integrity at all, White House insiders always thought she was not quite as bad as Cheney, because come on.

Colin Powell said on Sunday that Cheney’s complaints were “cheap shots.” Cheney snarled back through a spokesman that if he had his way, black people would still be slaves, and that people should quit fucking challenging him because he can still have everyone killed, if he wants. [Reuters]

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  • Extemporanus

    George Bush doesn't care about Dick Cheney not caring about black people.

  • justkillmenow

    Is there a crazy middle eastern dictator with a porn notebook of Cheney photos? I don't think so! Condi should win this one by a Ferragamo.

    • Giveusabob

      Muammar has not been caught yet. No telling what photographic abominations he keeps in his iPhone, on his purple-robed person.

    • flamingpdog

      Is that you, Sparkle Pony?

  • memzilla
    • Pragmatist2

      Not a lot of Mein Kampf jokes any more. The folks in the Tea Party will appreciate the nostalgia.

  • Pragmatist2

    Let me just say this – when you choose to work with an asshole don't act surprised that he shits on you.

    • V572 T-Blow

      …and the scorpion always stings the frog

    • Also, he's a Dick, so he'll fuck you every chance he gets.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.

      • Geminisunmars

        Lie down with fleas, get up bitten.

        • Negropolis

          Lie down with Cheneys, and get a faceful of buckshot.

    • baconzgood

      Man. That's what everyone sais about me at the office. You don't happen to work on the 48th floor do you?

      • Pragmatist2


        • baconzgood

          Carl? Is that you? Sorry. Seriously, I'm REALLY SORRY. I had NO idea that that was your lunch bag I put the crickets in….I was trying to get back at Liam for his whole "Nixon got a bad rap" speech, and he's the only one I know that has that stupid turquoise fanny pack cooler. I'm soooooo sorry 'cause your cool!

          (this comment is 100% snark free-Honestly if you are Carl I am sorry)

    • Toomush_Infer

      "You knew I was a snake when you met me…."

      • sati_demise


    • sati_demise

      and the snake always bites you

  • Grief_Lessons

    Dick Cheney will not rest until he can sleep on a mile-high pile of corpses. Only then will he slip into sweet dreams, of even greater carnage and murder.

    • dr_giraud

      That's what's so puzzling. Why hasn't Cheney returned to the comforts of his eternal pit of fire and despair? Clearly he misses it.

    • Like the Princess and the Pea, he'd wake up in the middle of the night grumbling, "I feel a smile."

  • hagajim

    So as we all already knew, Cheney is a DICK!

  • Barb

    I love that Dick sat down with Fox news to discuss his book. Cheney talking to Fox news is like Mrs Butterworth talking to the Pancake Channel.

    • Grief_Lessons

      Is it wrong that I fap to the pancake channel late at night?

      • Barb

        Go ahead, beat your dick like it owes you money.

        • Grief_Lessons

          In a way it does.

        • MichelesPantalones

          I never heard that before. I love it and I'm stealing it, OK?

    • V572 T-Blow

      The Dickster's doing a full media blitz and would be on Colbert if the latter weren't on vacation. Think I saw him on the Weather Channel the other day. O'Donnell's doing an epic, mulitpart takedown every night, interviewing other witnesses to the same events to disprove the Cheeneey version.

      • qwerty42

        O'Donnell? The witch? or not-witch or something?

        • V572 T-Blow

          Lawrence, MSNBC 5 PM Pacific, if you can bear it.

      • SorosBot

        I don't know if he'd go on Colbert; Cheney's never given an interview to anyone that wasn't a sympathetic right-win hack as far as I can recall.

        • V572 T-Blow

          We know he’ll do anything for money and/or power, and did do MTP while still in office, if that counts as a less-friendly environment. Granted, Colbert isn’t serious enough for a Great Man like Cheney.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            MTP counts as a brain-dead environment.

        • Barb

          I miss Colbert. Luckily, my donation to his Super Pac was announced on the scroll at the bottom of the TV screen on the last show he did before vacation.

          • AnAmericanInTO

            Oh Congrats, Barb!

            I thank you for your service and, perhaps, having some small involvement with the mockery of Rick PArry.

          • AJWjr.

            He and Stewart return tonight. Must be a contractual thing, I'd have stayed out until Tuesday.

  • NewtsChicknNeck

    Dick Cheney doesn't care about black people. no, really.

    He doesn't give a teaspoon of a shit. and besides, his darkness is post-racial.

  • genxr

    You know who else wrote a self-serving memoir that took cheap shots at minorities?

    • SorosBot

      Julius Caesar?

      • charlesdegoal

        James Joyce?

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Miles Davis?

    • Jerri

      Brigette Bardot?

    • MozakiBlocks

      Sarah Palin?


      Dominique Strauss-Kahn?

    • Martin Luther?

    • flamingpdog

      Louis Farrakhan?

    • ShaveTheWhales


      all of them, Katie?

    • tcaalaw

      Sophia Loren?

  • SorosBot

    This makes me miss Princess Sparkle Pony.

    • MissTaken

      me too.

    • flamingpdog

      What? Did Peteykins die in the last couple of days?

  • nounverb911

    There were black people in the Bush administration?


      Someone had to serve the tea with cookies.

    • Geminisunmars


      • flamingpdog


    • ShaveTheWhales


    • Negropolis

      Yes, nominally.

  • baconzgood

    I'm still wondering how he got out of blasting someone in the face with buckshot while 3 sheets to the wind.

    • Grief_Lessons

      He receives special consideration: had he not been shooting a guy in the face he actually would have been doing something else more dangerous and hurtful. It's a reprive for the human race when he's only attempting to murder one person at a time.

      • baconzgood

        It didn't surprise me though. I knew he couldn't go two terms without peppering someone in the face with lead at least once.

    • flamingpdog

      What happens on the Armstrong Ranch stays on the Armstrong Ranch.

    • AznMom420

      He only shot that justice with bird not buck shot. It's not like he as a complete disregard for the law, god.

  • slithytoves

    My alt text for Cheney in that picture is "Hmm, fried kittens for dinner would hit the spot."

    Keep your claws off Mr. Happy you pigfucker!

    • flamingpdog

      After 6 (or is it 93?) heart attacks, he has to lay off the fried foods. Microwaving them is faster, easier, and more enjoyable for him, anyways.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Maybe Rick Perry will make DICK the head of his VP candidate search cmte.

  • baconzgood



    (Man-O-man did his parents have forsight)

    • flamingpdog

      They didn't have the foresight to have the last name of Johnson.

  • chascates

    Have a heart, Dick!

  • bumfug

    When Condoleeza Rice dies, her tombstone should read "She Wasn't Quite As Bad As Dick Cheney". Then we can all go piss on her grave.

    • ttommyunger

      Not me. When I got out of the Army I swore I'd never wait in line again.

      • ShaveTheWhales


    • sezme

      Ok, as long as we can poop on Cheney. If it's even technically possible for him to die, that is.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Good grief, that linked pic of Condi looks like Cheney sucked out her soul. Makes the whole "casting aspersions" thing look positively limp by comparison.

    • flamingpdog

      Looks like she's in need of some human blood.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Is it me, but does anyone else find it weird that the man who was a "heartbeat away from the presidency", didn't have a heart?

    • Geminisunmars

      Neither did the presidency.

  • charlesdegoal

    OK, but Alphonso Jackson is still to be heard from.

  • SexySmurf

    I don’t appreciate the attack on my integrity that that implies.

    An excerpt from Condi's upcoming memoir, Tyler Perry's Diary of a Slightly Peeved Black Women.

    • But she doesn't say she actually has integrity. Only that she doesn't appreciate the attack.

      I was hoping shed'd say something more like, "He said he was leaving her! I did everything he asked. I wanted kids, you know. But I waited. I waited. Goddamn him. Goddamn him to Hell."

      • Negropolis

        It is a rather strange grouping of words, huh? "that that implies.", indeed.

    • AJWjr.

      Back in '04, she disparaged Barbara Boxer for "impugning" her credibility and integrity, so she apparently was under the impression she had integrity back then as well.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Code Pink is wanting people to move Dick's book to other sections of the bookstores. Like fiction, crime, composting, in the rest rooms trash cans, whatever.

    Oh – I bet Condi will do that now since she's been dissed.

    • mumbly_joe

      The problem is, most book stores call their crime sections "True Crime", and Cheney's book is pointedly lacking in the former.

    • flamingpdog

      Fantasy and science fiction would be more like.

  • Crank_Tango

    All both of them?

    • Negropolis

      All the both of them, Katie.

  • Goonemeritus

    In the evil Olympics Rice and Powel couldn’t even hold Cheney’s jock strap (I just threw up in my mouth a little).

  • baconzgood

    Cheney's Editor: Listen Dick we're going to change some of the wording in the chapters about Rice and Powell.


    Cheney's Editor: Well…you refer to them as Nigger 1 and Nigger 2.

    (Please don't beat Baconz good. I like black people and have black friends-I really do- I'm just snarking)

  • It's pretty much a given that the only person that Dick "Dick" Cheney won't be a dick to is himself.

  • edgydrifter

    I guess ol' Dick figures his vampire robo-heart really will keep him going forever, because the way he's burning bridges they won't ever find six pallbearers for this asshole's casket.

    • flamingpdog

      T-Paw only destroyed onefreakin' bridge, and no likes him, eithzzzzzzzzz.

  • Indiepalin

    I can understand TWO of the black people (sic) in the Bush administration hating Cheney's guts, heck, the law of averages. But ALL of them??!! This points to a deeper problem entirely.

    • To be fair, Ron Christie still loves Cheney's guts.

      • Negropolis

        I think you misspoke. Ron Christie still loves Cheney's nuts.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Dick Cheney does not care about people, period. He would eat your heart in a second no matter if you were green, orange or purple (though he perfers the glowing pink of newborn infants).

  • MissTaken

    Dick's just pissed that Condi would only bang Bush

    • Negropolis

      Yes, I hear that bush is the only thing Condi likes to bang…maybe in another time, dick.

  • Rotundo_

    Goodness, if Dick annoys very many more people, my vision of a perpetual urinal for his grave will come to pass. They're going to have to bury him in gravel and ice it down a couple times a day to keep the odor down like they do in really skanky restrooms. Except the monument will be in granite or marble celebrating a vice president of the United States of America instead of a little scawl saying "This is a teepee for you to peepee, not a wigwam to beat your tomtom.

    • MissTaken

      PLEASE tell me that's what public men's restrooms really say.

      • not that Dewey

        No, mostly they say "Trust Ted Weeks" or "Don't Ever Antagonize The Horn"

  • Sue4466

    "While experts say Rice already lacks any integrity at all, White House insiders always thought she was not quite as bad as Cheney, because come on."

    This line made my day. Excellent subtle snark. Bless you.

  • Limeylizzie

    When will the vile Lizzus Dickus of the Cheney Dynasty come out and snarl….

  • Guppy06

    But did he get any of the black people knocked up?

  • Radiotherapy®

    Number One Hitler of All History

    I knew Joe Stalin, and you Mr. Cheney are no Joe Stalin.

    The variant of this comment, obvsly, is: You know who else was the Number One Hitler of All History?

    • mumbly_joe

      According to wikipedia, Alois Hitler?

    • genxr

      Jimmy Carter?

    • mumbly_joe

      Variant of this reply, obviously, is Craig Ferguson?

    • flamingpdog

      One-year old Hitler?

  • LiveToServeYa

    Let this be only the beginning of the Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth of the officials of the Bush administration. Let there be a Pox upon their house. Let Woe engulf them. Woe and strife and bickering and, in the end, defeat. And constipation. And electile dysfunction.

  • smashedinhat

    Dick Cheney is the human equivalent of the honey badger. Except the honey badger is, you know, alive.

    • genxr

      and the honey badger makes a positive contribution to the ecosystem.

  • All this valor and swagger from a fricking war wimp draft dodger?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Yeah, that part always floors me – all through the Great Debacle I kept thinking, this smarmy little asshole couldn't last five minutes in any bar I've spent time in…

  • ibwilliamsi

    I don't think you have to be black to be pissed at Cheney for saying that you sat tearfully next to him and admitted you were wrong – when you didn't and you weren't – just saying that about ANY woman is insufferable.

    FWIW, Condi was a worthless pawn and nothing more. She laid down with dogs and she got fleas. Boo 'fing hoo.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Sure Cheney's a dick, but lighten up, Condi. After eight years of endorsing that shit sandwich, you can take another bite.

  • TimWasTim

    This kind of criticism really gets Cheney's pulse racing.

    • flamingpdog

      Finally, some good news!

  • undeservingpoor

    As the only black person in the Jefferson Administration, shouldn't Sally Hemings have a say about all this brouhaha?

    O/T, but looks like Brandon McInerney may walk.
    Or maybe it ain't O/T, maybe there's some connection between Dick Cheney and a kid who murders a gay 14-year-old in cold blood and gets off scot free.

  • stopthemovie

    Condi can't take any more Dick.

  • Ooh Dick must be inconsolable, having his reputation lowered in the eyes of a person of color.

  • AlterNewt

    Although symbolically it wouldn't make a lot of sense to glitter-bomb Cheney, it still seems like it ought to be done.

    • I assume by "glitter" you mean "pipe".

    • lulzmonger

      If the "glitter" is white phosphorus, it makes perfect sense.
      Extra bonus points if the delivery team is made up entirely of Kurds.

    • Negropolis

      If by glitter you mean car, yes, Cheney needs to be "glitter"-bombed.

      • AlterNewt

        I am advised that all of the above actions would be illegal, and therefore categorically deny suggesting any of them.

  • both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not not even having the professional courtesy of a hyena.

    I disagree with Rice and Powell. Cheney does have the professional courtesy (and, if the rumors are true, the table manners) of a hyena.

  • ttommyunger

    Oh wow! Dissed by these two. How humiliating! Powell's been tossing the Massa's salad ever since he headed up damage control for the Mai Lai Massacre. Rice? Face it, only she and Laura would ever fuck Dubya and Laura had to get drunk both times.

  • Hearing this bunch make noise about their "integrity" being maligned is truly amusing.

    It's like a nudist complaining that no one appreciates their fashion sense.

  • Is this that book everybody is mad about, where a white author dares to imagine and fictionalize the experiences of the negro servant characters?

  • Nobody took the low-hanging fruit?

    "All the blacks in W's Administration? What does Barry say in the book?"

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Now that's snark.

      • Nice to see you! Thought you were pissed or something.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Ah, some pissed, but pissed doesn't have to mean irrational.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Both" Black people? You forgot about the Black vote that elected George Bush – Justice Clarence Thomas.

  • widget2011

    Plz die already, before anorther idiot has you do a search for GOOper VP candidate, Mr. Objectivity. America can't take another 4 years of Dick.

  • owhatever

    But George W. says he still likes Dick.

  • sati_demise

    alt text win.

    Zombie Dick!


    the tale of a shoe model and a sadist

  • Come here a minute

    Now you admit Cheney is an asshole? Were were you ten years ago? Oh yeah, National "Security" Advisor. You should have resigned on 9/12.

  • comrad_darkness

    The Tracksuit Princess and the Pale Undead.

    • Negropolis

      Wow, J.K. Rowling is really branching out, these days.

  • lulzmonger

    In a better world, these two would have long since occupied adjacent gurneys, then had their bodies buried at a crossroad, their severed heads stuffed with garlic.

    That is all.

    • widget2011

      In al alternative universe, they would be really great guys!

  • Negropolis

    I wish I could feel sorry for Rice, but there is no honor among fear and war mongers.

    Yes, all two of them put their then decent-to-good names and reputations on the line to help bring about one of the most pointless wars in American history. You'll probably never be forgiven for that, and especially if you don't ever genuinely apologize for your parts in it. And "I was only following orders" will not suffice. You all let us down; you all let us down in a very big way.

  • carlgt1

    so when Repugs throw you under the bus, they make sure it's the back of the bus?

  • SaintRond

    That cunt.

    Peace… God bless…

  • There was only about 1.5 black people in that there administration, so it's really not that big a deal.

  • DahBoner

    Cheney's real name is "Richard", but his friends call him a Dick…

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