SYSTEM FAIL  11:37 am September 1, 2011

Michele Bachmann’s Analysis: Obama Hopes No One Watches Jobs Speech

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

sorry, no valid updates available at this time.The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue with net result computation that Barack Obama only wanted to schedule his originally-planned September 7 jobs speech at the same time as the California GOP debate so that no one would pay any attention to it. “Either a) he wants to distract the American people so they don’t watch him, or b) he doesn’t want the American people to hear what the next president of the United States is going to say,” Bachmann told a sparsely assembled gathering of nimrods in Iowa. See what she did there? In a normal “either/or” construction, the speaker is usually obligated to present two competing alternatives, but Michele’s analysis is so sound she figured she’d offer the same theory twice. “Either he doesn’t want anyone to watch, or he doesn’t want anyone to pay attention!”  

Good analysis, System Error Sister! The President will start scheduling all his major addresses under whatever mad GOP clown hump is airing on cable news from now on every third day and while America finally slips into an irreversible anusburger-induced coma. Maybe then Barack Obama’s real socialist army takeover can begin.

From CNN:

“Does this show maybe a little insecurity on the part of the president?” Bachmann asked.

The candidate spoke at the Des Moines stop on the Tea Party Express’ fifth national tour. The rally’s sparse attendance was unusual for a tea party rally – especially one attended by a presidential candidate as popular with activists as Bachmann.

Though there was no firm way to count the exact number in the audience, it was certainly not in the thousands or hundreds – and very likely was under 100.

Oh well, there are always 100 or so people who never tire of watching frozen computer screens, for fun. [CNN]

 

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{ 158 comments }

nounverb911 September 1, 2011 at 11:38 am

Bachmannn must actually believe her own hype.

ManchuCandidate September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

Of course, otherwise she'd have something called shame.

Terry September 1, 2011 at 11:52 am

God and Marcus have told her what to say, so why shouldn't she believe it?

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

You know, when you talk about Bachmann as if she were a normal person, with normal mental processes, I think you miss the whole point of the work of art that is Michele Bachmann. Her brow is smooth because it has never been furrowed by thought. I imagine she functions like a little obsessive-compulsive automaton, with a constant background chatter in her head listing all the tasks for the day and then running down the subtasks, permutations of tasks, persons tasked with performing said tasks, etc., until periodically some unrelated words pop out of her mouth.

I can't believe I once thought she had more between her ears than Palin.

Barb September 1, 2011 at 11:40 am

“Does this show maybe a little insecurity on the part of the president?”
Yes, remember when he went running from the Oval office bathroom screaming that he was being "held against his will" when someone asked him a question, Michele. Oh, and how he won't let anyone photograph him in casual clothes?

Michele, are you afraid that someone will take a photo of you in jeans and the caption will read, "Do These Jeans Make My Ass Look Crazy?" Honey, it's not the jeans.

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 11:58 am

It's cargo pants. According to Ryan Lizza in the New Yorker Miche1e in cargo pants is more than the American public can bear.

Barb September 1, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I'd like to see a cargo run her ass over. Pffttttt, Karma doesn't work on Thursdays, I am safe.

OneDollarJuana September 1, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Personally, I like a crazy ass.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:32 pm

As in "that's some crazy ass shit you said during the debate". Or "that was some crazy ass shit you said about Iraq and 9/11". Or "that was some crazy ass shit you said about lowering taxes will increase revenue."

Fare la Volpe September 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm

And I'm quite a fan of DAT ASS.

zhubajie September 2, 2011 at 9:04 am

Maybe she has no ass to reveal!

BaldarTFlagass September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

She's like an ambulatory Blue Screen of Death her damn self.

LiveToServeYa September 1, 2011 at 11:48 am

A veritable wandering Null Exception, indeed.

freakishlywrong September 1, 2011 at 11:52 am

She is the ME of Operating System politicos, (remember THAT piece of shit, nerds)?

OneDollarJuana September 1, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I liked rebooting several times a day. Gave me time to read.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Oh pleez gawd. Why did you have to bring that up? I had BURIED those memories!

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 12:52 pm

i was reading this posting and my computer crashed and went into a vicious reboot / shut down spiral.

this is a true story and i blame sheley.

GunToting[Redacted] September 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm

What about Microsoft Bob? Does anyone remember that POS?

Ducksworthy September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

Actually I think Obammers made the right decision here. Hopefully all of Amurikkka will get to watch the vicious poo flinging contest in murderous old white Simi Valley.

capnhuggyface September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

either she's crazy or she's insane

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Or — and I'm only playing devil's advocate* — she's normal and everyone else is crazy (or insane).
_________________________
* advocating for actual devil. Do not attempt.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Biely's gonna be really happy with you. I think.

Porter Melmoth September 1, 2011 at 1:07 pm

She may even be breaking new ground: InterUnSane (TM)

Lascauxcaveman September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

"System Error Sister" would be a good name for an all-girl electro-funk band.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

They could open for Los Amigos Invisibles. That would be an awsom concert.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Or as we say in my world: "0×80004005 and the NuTones".

Fare la Volpe September 1, 2011 at 12:45 pm

They could go on tour with Tongue-Punching Fart-Boxes.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Better would be a band dedicated to Disco/BeeGees versions of Guns & Roses tunes, fronted by a Marcus Bachmann imitator.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

If it has anything at all to do with Bachmann, I'd prefer "Stabbin' and a-Stabbin' and a-Stabbin'."

nounverb911 September 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

Don't the people of Iowa have better things to do like harvest baseball player infested corn fields instead of listening to this drone?

Steverino247 September 1, 2011 at 12:34 pm

If you fuck up, they will come.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Drone? Couldn't we just strap her to one of those jet backpacks they promised us back in the ol' daze, stuff an M-80 in her mouth and up her ass, and send her off to take out the 911th Al Qaeda #2? Win for everyone!

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Why d'you think so few turned up?

zhubajie September 2, 2011 at 9:05 am

Of course! That's why most of them weren't there!

ManchuCandidate September 1, 2011 at 11:42 am

Shelly you silly projector you.

Clancy_Pants September 1, 2011 at 11:42 am
SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Eeeeew, that hag? No way.

ProudLibunatic September 1, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Ahhh…
Thanks for that!
Now I can start my day on a high note!

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I have learned so much today.

metamarcisf September 1, 2011 at 11:43 am

Reading that statement of hers again, it's easy to understand why Bachmann suffers from chronic migraines.

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 11:47 am

This "statement" also challenged general principles of syntax: "The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue with net result computation that Barack Obama only wanted to schedule his originally-planned September 7 jobs speech at the same time as the California GOP debate so that no one would pay any attention to it."

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:38 pm

You liberals and your sin taxes.

Barb September 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

Chronic migraines? See what happens when you don't get a little porn into your life now and then?

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:39 pm

A little porn!?! So that's what I'm doing wrong.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Remember, she has to listen to her voice all day. I'd have migraines if I had to do that.

Pragmatist2 September 1, 2011 at 11:44 am

She missed the point, when you take out the Republican debate audience you can use multiple syllable words

GuanoFaucet September 1, 2011 at 11:44 am

False dichotomy is false.

LesBontemps September 1, 2011 at 11:44 am

What, because the entire teevee-watching public is going to be so riveted to the GOP's shouty Gong Show re-make?

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I get the feeling most people will rely on YouTube for the haha snippets.

CapnFatback September 1, 2011 at 11:44 am

I believe she was implying with choice B that Obama was trying to redirect possible viewers of the Republican candidate debate to his speech: ergo the "next president of the United States" line.

She's clearly talking about Newt Gingrich.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

Now might be a good time to dial the Meds back a bit, Michele.

jodyleek September 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I thought it was a bad idea for schizophrenics to go off their drugs? If anything, we should encourage her to take more to either mitigate her symptoms or for the lulz.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Whichever fucks her up the quickest.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm

You're cruel. I like that in a person.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm

What's not to like?

nounverb911 September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

Needs more shoots-paw!

DaRooster September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

WOW!! Maybe 100… you guys ROCK!
Can we officially say that the Tea Party is over yet?

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 12:53 pm

not as long as cantor's in charge of the house.

HedonismBot September 1, 2011 at 12:55 pm

No, they're just all attending rallies for/stalking their new hero – Rick "I used to be a liberal but now I'm a born-again cowboy neocon" Perry. These people have the attention span of a gnat.

Oblios_Cap September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue .

You're being way too kind to Sister System Error describing it that way.

MildMidwesterner September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

I keep the blinds shut when I don't want people to watch.

bureaucrap September 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

I disagree that she is making the same statement twice. However inarticulately stated, she is saying either a) BO wants no-one to watch him; or b) BO wants no-one to watch the other guys. There's probably no overlap in the potential audience for either, in any case. Teatards want their a**-licking candidates; libtards want to see BO keep hope alive (by proposing a jobs program will be substantial, real, and adequate) but expect that BO is going to stink (by proposing a jobs "program" that is symbolic, merely rhetorical, inadequate, and/or counterproductive).

BTWBFDIMHO September 1, 2011 at 11:59 am

You're right, which makes her statement even stupider. BO would want exactly the opposite of a) and b).

Jughead2130 September 1, 2011 at 11:46 am

Either everyone is tired of her or no one wants to listen to her anymore

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Or it wasn't hoveround accessible and there were no free corn dogs.

johnnyzhivago September 1, 2011 at 11:46 am

Haven't these politicians heard of TIVO or the YouTube???

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:41 pm

They haven't even heard of videotape. They say dumbass things and figure no one will ever know.

Chillwaver September 1, 2011 at 11:47 am

“Does this show maybe a little insecurity on the part of the president?”

Oh, Michele…somebody married to a closeted homosexual should never speak about insecurity.

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I'm sure in his world his affinity for sucking cock and having penises rammed up his ass in no way makes him a "homosexual".

deanbooth September 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

President Romney can appoint her head of Homeland Insecurity.

zhubajie September 2, 2011 at 9:07 am

Do you think she knows?

donner_froh September 1, 2011 at 11:48 am

The real problem with Obama's speech isn't the timing is that he has no inflation/deficit/Keynsian short term levers to pull to create jobs after the debt ceiling debacle. He could skip the speech and have it posted at whitehouse.gov for all the good it will do.

Regarding Shelly, "are you stupid or are you really stupid" works for me.

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 12:58 pm

and certainly can't get a short term stimulus – the one all respected economists are calling for – out of this rock bottom congress.

edgydrifter September 1, 2011 at 11:48 am

I used to think it was my imagination, but I'm growing increasingly convinced that I can actually see the cartoon head-injury stars and twittering birds orbiting her head when she speaks.

mavenmaven September 1, 2011 at 11:48 am

Unfortunately he played this is a way that allows people to say this. We can only hope that he's got something up his sleeve that will dramatically change the way things are currently looking.

John Birf Society September 1, 2011 at 11:49 am

Her logic is rooted in string theory. Take a single string vibrating in 11-dimensional space. Twist this string into a ball. Then bat this ball like a kitten. Questions?

Oblios_Cap September 1, 2011 at 12:32 pm

"logic", eh?

nounverb911 September 1, 2011 at 11:49 am

Her programming is stuck in an infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop infinite loop ….

weejee September 1, 2011 at 11:53 am

♪♫ Do wah ditty do loop ♫♪

CapnFatback September 1, 2011 at 11:49 am

“Either a) he wants to distract the American people so they don’t watch him

Quick, someone check Yogi Berra's closet for a Michele Bachmann costume.

prommie September 1, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Only 100 people showed up at the rally? I guess noone goes to tea party rallies anymore, because they are too crowded.

LiveToServeYa September 1, 2011 at 11:49 am

Thank you, Insane Eye for the Black Guy.

DaRooster September 1, 2011 at 11:49 am

Yep, Obama is insecure…so insecure in fact that he thought he wanted to be the First Black President of the United States! And he is… now STFU!

Lascauxcaveman September 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Yeah, he's a bigshot now. He was even on Jeopardy last night.

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Well, it does depend on who you ask…. according to Herman Cain, a REAL black 'Murkan, Hussein ain't quite black enough.

WhatTheHeck September 1, 2011 at 11:50 am

Michele wil never win the GOP nomination and neither will she.

BTWBFDIMHO September 1, 2011 at 11:50 am

Is Obama provoking the crazies? I hope.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I suspect he's beaming scramble-rays straight at her brain. Unfortunately, she can't wear her tinfoil hat in public.

Crank_Tango September 1, 2011 at 11:50 am

So Bachmann is just German for "blue screen of death"? I am not sure that's right, but it so is.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

"blue screech of death"

/corrected

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 11:50 am

Michele Bachmann’s analysis. For some reason when I read that it feels like a set up for a joke.

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Marcus always gets all weak kneed before one can finish that third word.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Or a Woody Allen standup routine.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 11:52 am

Either I'm going to snark or I'm going to say somthing sarcastically funny.

freakishlywrong September 1, 2011 at 11:55 am

And then she jumped on the back of the Jesus dinosaur and galloped away to help the founders fight slavery.

Come here a minute September 1, 2011 at 11:56 am

Michele can't be bothered with too deep of an analysis of the president's motives, she is too busy dereferencing a self-referential pointer.

Troglodeity September 1, 2011 at 11:56 am

Does this show maybe a little cunning on the President's side, and idiocy on Boehner/Cantor's/Bachmann's? They could have moved the debate back by an hour so that (1) there'd be a presidential joint session lead-in to the debate and (2) all of the Republican candidates could hammer on what Obama just said and have the last word. Instead: (1) Obama's speech will be just before the opening NFL games – guaranteeing a larger audience, and (2) Obama will have the last word and be able to counter all the lame Republican ideas. Nicely played by the President.

V572 T-Blow September 1, 2011 at 11:59 am

Ah, the 3-D chess, long game analysis. Compare with the previous post, where there was much bleating about Obama's latest "failure." Very good! This was of course overlooked by MSM, which likes to focus on who "wins the day." They don't give a shit about jobs either, as they have them.

baconzgood September 1, 2011 at 12:00 pm

And all he had to do is look spineless.

DaRooster September 1, 2011 at 12:09 pm

And too bad… but he is getting good at it. Please no more giving in to them… they don't deserve it.

Guppy06 September 1, 2011 at 11:57 am

"what the next president of the United States is going to say"

"Derp?"

smitallica September 1, 2011 at 11:59 am

The only way to guarantee no one will watch the speech is to schedule it opposite a telecast of Michele being repeatedly clubbed with one of Marcus's rubber cocks, with the balls as the business end.

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Awh, thank you for the heart warming mental image of the loving couple, hand in hand, out shopping for love toys suitable for satisfying both of them – love, even for crazy 60-sumpins, is a beautiful thing!

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I would be willing to wield this instrument on TV.

freakishlywrong September 1, 2011 at 11:59 am

He chose someone from Harvard with a Ph.D., and someone who works in the Treasury Department and the Department of Labor and now is teaching at Princeton,” Bachmann said. “There is no private-sector experience in their background. They have not created wealth. They have not run a business.

Gasp! What a loser! And this from an asshat politico who's collected a gubbmint paycheck her entire career.

SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Uh, yeah; business executives are the absolutely last people you want in a position with government power. I'd pick the homeless guy who usually begs on the corner near my office before any CEO.

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 1:00 pm

she would have us pick what? the guy who started a balloon delivery service? or that fat gal that invented the freedom tray?

that should go well shelley.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Perhaps Dyson should be on her campaign team. He could vacuum her inefficient brain out of her ear and replace it with one that works properly.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I thought you said "Tyson" for a minute. I was having visions of her with just the one ear.

BTWBFDIMHO September 1, 2011 at 1:18 pm

There is no private-sector experience in their background.

Harvard and Princenton are part of the private sector.
And the government here is not about creating wealth. If you want to create wealth from the presidency, go to the Soviet Union, if you can find it!

Native_of_SL_UT September 1, 2011 at 1:33 pm

That's where the confusion starts with Republicans. They get into government to increase their personal wealth, so that's what they think the government is for.

GuanoFaucet September 1, 2011 at 11:59 am

I see Bachmann already started prepping for the logical fallacy special olympics to be held next Wednesday.

Indiepalin September 1, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Making fun of our Jewish Sisters is no way to get to heaven, people.

freakishlywrong September 1, 2011 at 12:05 pm

You know what's going to be fun? Watching ole crazy mouth there have to skulk back in to congress when she inevitably loses this thing. The shunning and awkward cold shoulders will be delish.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm

She can't. She gave up her seat, she's not running for re-election. So this is it, for her.

hagajim September 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I think Obama wanted to make that speech then so he could announce that we start drilling for oil in the Everglades – now!

Wonderthing September 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

If all the idiots in the USA vote for her she wins in a landslide. Let's all stay home and not vote. We'll show them. We'll spend the next four years wandering through the crumbling ruins of our former country, begging for food and putting band-aids on compound fractures, pregnant and barefoot, carrying a worn copy of the Bible to the "Pray The Smart Away" mandatory reframing farms.

SorosBot September 1, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Yeah, the original scheduling Obama didn't want anyone to hear his speech, because everyone in America tunes in to every single one of the countless GOP primary debates and stays riveted to them, it's not just hardcore political junkies and people like us who like to mock the crazies that watch.

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 1:01 pm

just ask those 90 some odd people who showed up to hear michele speak.

KenLayIsAlive September 1, 2011 at 12:08 pm

I, for one, am glad Obama moved the date. I don't want it to cut into our Repuke debate live blog, which, if it is anything like the last one, will be fucking epic.

mumbly_joe September 1, 2011 at 12:08 pm

If Obama trying to bigfoot the debate is because he doesn't want anyone to watch his speech, then in that case, what's the significance of the GOP debate on September 7th being broadcast on MSNBC, hmmmm????

WHAT IS THE GOP TRYING TO HIDE FROM THE MERKIN PEOPLE

donner_froh September 1, 2011 at 12:11 pm

The best way to ask Shelly a question about herself is the time honored and always appropriate "or what" usage.

"Are you an asshole or what?'
"Is your husband gay or what?"

Etc.

DoktorThompson September 1, 2011 at 12:14 pm

10 PRINT "SAY SOMETHING CRAZY"
20 GOTO 10
RUN

genxr September 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm

She's got an 8 bit brain trying to make it in a 64 bit world.

Moonbat September 1, 2011 at 12:18 pm

So, wait, he asked for a Joint Session of Congress so nobody'd pay attention to what he'd say? Timing issues aside, if he really didn't want people to listen to what he had to say, couldn't he just hold a press conference? Or deliver the speech in East Nowhere, Kentucky? Or, you know, not give a speech?

I swear I have paperweights with more on the ball than Sister System Error. Sheesh.

chicken_thief September 1, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Or tag along with her and give the speech to the <100 that she was able to draw?

Native_of_SL_UT September 1, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Or do another interview with Bill O'Reilly?

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:58 pm

She pisses even BillO off.

Trannysurprise September 1, 2011 at 12:19 pm

"Though there was no firm way to count the exact number in the audience…"

WTF, was this reporter some type of mutant with no fingers?

BaldarTFlagass September 1, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Lost them in a combine harvester accident.

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 2:50 pm
MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 3:59 pm

How could you?

flamingpdog September 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I'm one sick puppy.

Dr_Zoidberg September 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Yeah, it was a sparsely attended rally, because a new Country Kitchen Buffet had just opened down the street.

BaldarTFlagass September 1, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I first read that as Kourtney Kitchen Buffet. Don't know why.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I have a suspicion.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system…"

I love you, KBJ.

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I'm startin' to develop a bit of a crush on her my own self.

littlebigdaddy September 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Wait until the wingnuts figure out that having this before the first NFL game of the season is a way better time slot, and come up with some specious, racially-tinged theory about it. Like, Obama is black and so are most NFL players, so that gives him an unfair advantage, like the blacks are always getting….I think I have just written Pat Buchanan's next column.

mereoblivion September 1, 2011 at 12:30 pm

"See what she did there?"
I think I see what Gawd A'mighty did there, when Gawd A'mighty made Michele.

Not_So_Much September 1, 2011 at 12:34 pm

The sad fact is that her extreme stoopid is playing so well with not just Teabaggers, but a big chunk of the normal(?) gop voters. It's like she and Perry are in a dipshit death match to see who can say the most demonstrably false and stupid thing, but still get rousing applause for it.

HelmutNewton September 1, 2011 at 12:39 pm

"The rally’s sparse attendance was unusual for a tea party rally…"

Flying Spaghetti Monster, I hate the MSM! There hasn't been a well-attended teabagger rally since the 2010 election! Teabaggers have always been corporate sock-puppets, yet the media still treats them as if they are a genuine "grassroots" movement. (bangs head against wall)

proudgrampa September 1, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Please, do not take FSM's name in vain, goddammit!

genxr September 1, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Great googley noodley!

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 1:07 pm

exactly. i have been bitching about this ONE ALL IMPORTANT fact since santelli threw his temper tantrum and spawned an obese scooter driven snitfit masquerading as a political party.

the republicans, the country, the congress, the global economy all are terrified of a phantom movement behind which lie two obscenely rich koch brothers.

ick i've just pissed myself off AGAIN.

Chet Kincaid September 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Couldn't we settle this by having the Koch Brothers square off vs. Soros and Buffett, all of them using their vast wealth to create superior death robots to launch against the other side?

MichelesPantalones September 1, 2011 at 4:04 pm

They're blatantly lying. There is no Tea Party, yet they keep referring to this batshit insane woman (and several of the other candidates) as "tea party darlings." The "darlings" have "rallies" of 30-100 people, and these are covered mindlessly, with not a single question regarding the framing, or even questioning the huge drop in numbers. No analysis at all. Polls over the past 1.5 years have shown the teabaggers' favourability dropping like a stone, while their unfavourables are climbing sky-high.

Yet, our "liberal media" could be buggered to report on the huge numbers of people that turn out at anti-war rallies or labour union rallies or to protest the tar sands or any of that stuff. They'd rather cover 35 people who are willing to listen to Michele Bachmann talking crazy shit.

gurukalehuru September 1, 2011 at 12:44 pm

The candidate spoke at the Des Moines stop on the Tea Party Express’ fifth national tour. The rally’s sparse attendance was unusual for a tea party rally – back up there a doggone second, KBJ, it said their FIFTH national tour.
Iowans enjoy meeting a presidential candidate once or twice, but it starts to wear thin after a while.

JustPixelz September 1, 2011 at 12:44 pm

At least we know jobs, jobs, jobs is MB's #1 priority. When Congress is back in session, she will be there Day One to introduce her own jobs bill.

genxr September 1, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Obviously you posted this story because you don't want us to read it.

owhatever September 1, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I worry that Michele is not paying enough sexytime attention to her husband, Marcus.

DaRooster September 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Would you?

Porter Melmoth September 1, 2011 at 1:21 pm

MeeShill, you see, is merely a shill for 'me', meaning herself – she thinks. Poor thing, she's a mere shill for Marcus' self-loathing. Both are perfect shills for the dark Christianist sharia lords behind them, who prostitute their shills via their dark arts. The result: Mr & Mrs Bachmann = Mr & Mrs Anti-Christ.

Hold on a minute, I think I'm channeling someone named Herr Friedrich Nietzsche. Oops, lost the signal…

fuflans September 1, 2011 at 1:25 pm

i hope i get over my cold by the 7th so i can drink myself silly.

genxr September 1, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Get well soon. Playing the crazey eyes debate drinking game with niquil isn't good for anyone.

DaRooster September 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Drambuie!!
Good for both…

elviouslyqueer September 1, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Cunning stunt is cunning.

glamourdammerung September 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Too bad that no one is going to be willing to sign off on involuntary commitment so that Bachmann could get the mental health assistance she so desperately needs.

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