America is still recovering from that disgusting Hurricane Irene that came to town last weekend, which means that hurricane victims around the East Coast are still without electricity and, as a result, access to basic necessities, like Internet porn! This is the case in Vermont, “where flooding has cut off a dozen towns from the rest of the state and left thousands without access to electricity.” So why can’t Vermont just send in some helicopters and get these people hooked back up to their Netflix and diabetes medications? OH, INTERESTING, it is because all of Vermont’s helicopters are in Iraq, where America is engaged in a war of some sort. We can now probably blame Hurricane Irene devastation on the terrorists, so Obama wins, The End!
A bunch of helicopters from Illinois had to come in and save Vermont from having all its Ben & Jerry’s ice cream float away in Irene’s sewage, because all six Vermont Guard Black Hawk helicopters are in Iraq.
Eight helicopters on loan from the Illinois National Guard were expected to arrive Tuesday night in Vermont to help the Vermont National Guard deliver food, medicine, water and other supplies to 13 Vermont towns cut off from the rest of the state in the aftermath of Tropical Storm Irene.
The outside helicopter support is needed because all six of the Vermont Guard’s Black Hawk helicopters are still in Iraq, where they and 55 Vermont soldiers are wrapping up a yearlong hospital transport mission, said Lt. Lloyd Goodrow, spokesman for the Vermont Guard.
“We’d be in a very different scenario if they were here,” Goodrow said, referring to the Vermont Guard’s Black Hawk helicopters now in Iraq. Goodrow said the Guard has both a federal and a state mission and, thanks to the help from Illinois and New Hampshire, expects to be able to perform both functions.
So the helicopters couldn’t get to Vermont because of Iraq, which means that Iraq indirectly caused Hurricane Irene, prompting helicopters from Barack Obama’s home state (besides Kenya, of course) to come in and save the day. Where is Glenn Beck and his chalkboard of conspiracies when he is needed most? Good luck Vermont, and blame it on the troops. [ThinkProgress/Burlington Free Press]