EDJUMUCASHUN  9:46 am August 31, 2011

Fearful 9/11 Coloring Book Helps Kids Learn How to Fear Muslims

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Hey, parents! We hear the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 is around the corner, and you should be asking yourselves an important question: are your small kids sufficiently freaked out yet?  If not, here is a terrible ominous children’s coloring book to explain to the youth that “they” will never forget 9/11, either. Creepy! Who are they? Did they do this? “Yes, ‘they’ know of whom they are. Given the chance, ‘they’ would do it again,” sayeth the coloring book. GAH! KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THEY. THEY WILL MURDER US ALL. Do we know who “they” is yet? Guess, children! Immigrants? Space lizards? Darth Vader? Hobbits? 

Haha, silly children. “They” are the Mooslims. That was an easy one! Here, color in some pictures of these Mooslims destroying America and freedom. How about a picture of Osama bin Laden in the second before he was shot? That’s a nice picture. Make sure to use the brown crayon for Osama and the peach color for the soldier!

Who doesn’t agree with children’s coloring book history lessons like, “some Muslim people believe the attacks were a conspiracy caused by Jews?” That’s an important one to include. Calm down, hippies. Fill in the picture of the Christian cross at ground zero, you’ll feel better. [ABC News]

 
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{ 218 comments }

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 9:49 am

Before, I was just scared of Mooslims. Now I'm also scared of coloring books.

Buckminster August 31, 2011 at 11:13 am

Not to mention crayons! Yummy, delicious crayons.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 11:48 am

I'm a bit scared of the shitheads who produce these horrors.

JustPixelz August 31, 2011 at 11:52 am

If history is any guide, the next generation will embrace what their parents most abhor. So it'll be Sharia Law and hijabs from coast-to-coast in 2055.

a_pink_poodle August 31, 2011 at 8:18 pm

I was scared of Muslims before it was cool!

GunToting[Redacted] August 31, 2011 at 9:50 am

I'd like to muster up some surprise about this, but that's not gonna happen at this point. Assholes.

Omophagist August 31, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Why don't you create your own, more accurate 9-11 and run up to Iraq war coloring book. Bush with an "Al-Qaeda Determined to Attack US" report on his desk while he gleefully plays with an old-timey cup-and-ball game. The CIA director saying that waterboarding is an illegal war crime and Dick Cheney responding "Pussy." Colin Powell saying there is no evidence that Iraq has WMD and Dick Cheney responding "Pussy." Justice Department advisers saying it's illegal to give out billions of dollars of no-bid contracts to Halliburton in Iraq and Dick Cheney responding "Pussy." Scooter Libby saying outing Valerie Plame as a CIA agent is illegal and Dick Cheney responding "Pussy." Harry Whittington begging not to be shot point blank in the face with birdshot and Dick Cheney responding "Pussy."

It practically writes itself!

Come here a minute August 31, 2011 at 9:51 am

I can't wait to help my toddler color the picture of the bomb in tower 7.

mumbly_joe August 31, 2011 at 9:52 am

TODDLERS DID 9/11

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 9:57 am

Stop making fun of Trig.

weejee August 31, 2011 at 10:02 am

And I thought it wuz the gheys!

trampndirtdown August 31, 2011 at 10:05 am

Now just stop it Trig is not gay

tcaalaw August 31, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Sarah wouldn't acknowledge him publicly if he was.

SpurningBeer August 31, 2011 at 10:08 am

We've got to Pray the They Away.

weejee August 31, 2011 at 10:38 am

Can't we use a super soaker?

Barb August 31, 2011 at 9:51 am

I got ripped off. I was missing several of the crayons:
Justice Thomas Only-Appears-to-Be Black
Cuervo Gold
Angry Aryan White
Varicose Violet

I want my money back!

Jeffer August 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

You forgot Divine Brown and Princess Di no-longer-royal-blue.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 10:02 am

"Princess Di no-longer-royal-blue."

Previously known as "King Edward VIII no-longer-royal-blue." Wallis Simpson FTW!!

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:01 am

(Bomb the) Browns
Anchor Babyblue
The President is a near, (coffee with creme).

genxr August 31, 2011 at 10:03 am

A color set like that should have Prussian Blue.

LesPaultard August 31, 2011 at 10:06 am

Boehner-Orange

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:50 am

Boehner- Orange just drips right off the page.

SpurningBeer August 31, 2011 at 10:09 am

Burnt Umbrage

Terry August 31, 2011 at 10:10 am

Hover-round Red

FlownOver August 31, 2011 at 11:28 am

Barrywater Gold

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 11:39 am

U3O8 yellow.

Or is that for the next coloring book in the series, "Freeing Iraq"?

JustPixelz August 31, 2011 at 11:56 am

Sky Brown (after Repubicans repeal clean air laws)
Battleaxe Gray (in honor of future VPOTUS Bachmann's roots)
People's Glorious Red (when China collects their IOUs)

jodyleek August 31, 2011 at 9:52 am

Be diligent with your blue crayons, kids! You'll need those for the water boarding pages.

iburl August 31, 2011 at 10:25 am

And you'll need plenty of red for the Iraq sequel.

mumbly_joe August 31, 2011 at 9:52 am

You know who else would do it again, given the chance?

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

Steely Dan?

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:52 am

go back Jack…

BarackMyWorld August 31, 2011 at 9:56 am

Jill Sobule?

trampndirtdown August 31, 2011 at 9:56 am

Jackson Browne?

EatsBabyDingos August 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

OJ?

weejee August 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

Cheney the Dick?

metamarcisf August 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

Me and my girlfriend, as soon as I get off work.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:02 am

Toni Tenille?

AlterNewt August 31, 2011 at 10:03 am

Mickey Rooney?

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 10:06 am

Christine O'Donnell?

not that Dewey August 31, 2011 at 10:17 am

The Beach Boys?

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:19 am

Weird Al?

mrblifil August 31, 2011 at 10:31 am

Loreena Bobbitt?

gurukalehuru August 31, 2011 at 10:58 am

Macauley Caulkin?

teebob2000 August 31, 2011 at 11:20 am

Hitler?

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Debbie? In Dallas?

LowProfileinGA August 31, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Newt?

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby, with a soundtrack by Curtis Mayfield?

tcaalaw August 31, 2011 at 3:22 pm

How was I unaware of that movie until this instant in my life?

tcaalaw August 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Britney Spears?

justkillmenow August 31, 2011 at 9:53 am

I thought "they" = Republicans.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 31, 2011 at 9:53 am

Never forget that Bush and Cheney ignored warnings about bin Laden, and then used 9-11 as an excuse to lie us into a war on Iraq for corporate profits
~

SpurningBeer August 31, 2011 at 10:10 am

Right. Show me where it says that in the coloring book.

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

Oh, you're just askin' for a water-boarding.

SorosBot August 31, 2011 at 10:31 am

And that, when informed of the attacks, bush stared blankly for a while, then resumed reading a children's book, boarded Air Force One and bravely turned his tail and fled; he bravely ran away…

MichelesPantalones August 31, 2011 at 12:05 pm

YOU LIE!!!

Bush was just trying to project an aura of calm … blankfaced terror.

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 11:12 am

Mommy, what color are profiteering war criminals?

LesBontemps August 31, 2011 at 11:16 am

All of them, Katie.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 9:54 am

Does Binney & Smith make a "Muslim Brown" crayola?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 11:50 am

Just color them dead, Timmy.

Omophagist August 31, 2011 at 12:20 pm

No, but I think they make the "Cowardly Pussy Yellow" that Dick Cheney recommended for Colin Powell in his new book.

prommie August 31, 2011 at 12:41 pm

No, but the "mullato" crayon is close enough.

MissusBarry August 31, 2011 at 9:54 am

Maybe we wonketeers can publish a scary coloring book full of rethuglicans.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 9:56 am

Coloring everything white gets boring pretty quickly.

Oblios_Cap August 31, 2011 at 10:06 am

And there is no color for "asshole".

arihaya August 31, 2011 at 10:18 am

Christine O'Donnel coloring book ?

JustPixelz August 31, 2011 at 11:58 am

Will Benjamin's Ayn Rand in the 21st Century illustrated story do the trick?

trampndirtdown August 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

Reminds me of the placemats at Little Black Sambo's good times.

Tundra Grifter August 31, 2011 at 11:06 am

TDD: Did Sambo's serve Indian food? Dot, not feather.

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 11:57 am

Quite Denny's-ish… from what I remember.

James Michael Curley August 31, 2011 at 12:07 pm

In NJ they became Dennys.

Nothingisamiss August 31, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Great pancakes.

SorosBot August 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

None of the children will ever forget 9/11, because it was ten years ago, before they were born, so none of them ever remembered it in the first place; it'll be like the JFK assassination, the moon landings or Watergate to nearly middle-aged people like me, old history their parents talk about remembering.

BarackMyWorld August 31, 2011 at 10:08 am

I'd imagine our "Where were you on 9/11?" stories will get old fast when everyone gives the same "parked in front of the TV" answer.

Barb August 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

True story, Soros. I was in Tennessee on 9-9-01. As I was leaving, I was telling my friend from high school that we are the lucky generation. I am 48, (soon to change) and I don't remember the JFK, Viet Nam, etc. Then I got on my plane to go home. I ate my words 48 hours later.

CrankyLttlCamperette August 31, 2011 at 9:56 am

…and the peach color for the soldier

Yeah, now that they don't call that color "flesh" anymore…

weejee August 31, 2011 at 10:40 am

Cranky, isn't peach a bit festive? Oh yeah, RIP DADT.

Pennywhistler August 31, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Yeah, but we flesh-people know why it's in the box!

Maman August 31, 2011 at 9:56 am

Oh good, I was concerned my girls might concentrate on mathematics or science.. and THAT will never do.

trampndirtdown August 31, 2011 at 10:08 am

Science is elitist socializms

Buckminster August 31, 2011 at 11:16 am

Heavens no! Please teach them subservience and total disregard for the history of the United States! That's the true American way.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 9:57 am

Make sure you tell the kiddies when they're done colorin' that tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations will protect their freedumz from the Moslims.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 9:57 am

Is "they" the new "those people"?

not that Dewey August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

There goes the neighborhood.

smashaduck August 31, 2011 at 9:57 am

Oh, it's okay. This actually wasn't meant for kids. The GOP just needed to give lil' Ricky something to do on the bus.

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2011 at 11:32 am

Anything to keep him from his insufferably smarmy preaching. I've never heard such shit from a presidential candidate before, but this dude really thinks he's Solomon or some shit. If Rick were elected president, he'd be a more sanctimonious Dubya, if that can be imagined.

ManchuCandidate August 31, 2011 at 9:57 am

Fuck coloring within the lines on this coloring book.

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:23 am

That would make for better 'splosions!

weejee August 31, 2011 at 9:58 am

I'll hold off giving this 'til Xmas when singing Jingo Bells is appropriate.

EatsBabyDingos August 31, 2011 at 9:59 am

"They" are the Lizard Space Hobos, and they are named Dave.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:25 am

are they the Daves he knows? http://youtu.be/_LrlMoIzSjw

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Dave's not here, man.

metamarcisf August 31, 2011 at 9:59 am

I don't know about you, but I get scared when I board a plane and see someone dressed in Juan Williams garb.

arihaya August 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

and i will get scared whenever I go to federal building and see blonde man that looks like Anders Breivik or Timothy McVeigth

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:57 am

But those aren't the "they" we are talking about.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:06 pm

No, those are "extremist" Christians. Many Christians think the Jews did it.

baconzgood August 31, 2011 at 9:59 am

“some Muslim people believe the attacks were a conspiracy caused by Jews?”

Some tea-party people too.

SorosBot August 31, 2011 at 10:01 am

Sh! Ignore the fact that the majority of 9/11 truthers are Alex Jones-following antisemitic right-wingers who are also birthers; according to the media and non-truther wingnuts they're all liberal hippies.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:30 am

some of them are liberal hippies, though. i know at least 4 of them, personally. one of them also believes the moon landing was a hoax so take that for it's worth.

"make we watch Loose Change, will you? why i oughta…"

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 11:56 am

It's getting to the point where we need an Illustratred Guide to American Nutjobs.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 12:02 pm

(i've always thought being an illustrator would be a cool job. but i mostly wanted to draw insects and plants. i can't draw human feet…)

i think you're on to something. this should happen.

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Makes me (not) nostalgic for the old days in the '80s on "The McLaughlin Group," when Robert Novak and Pat Buchanan were all-but-saying, "we're making a big mistake throwing in with the Jews instead of the Arabs."

Pennywhistler August 31, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Waddya mean "all but saying"? They SAID it – out loud and often.

Heil Demjanjuk!

baconzgood August 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

I don't see a problem with this coloring book. My kids learned to read using the coloring book version of Helter-Skelter.

BarackMyWorld August 31, 2011 at 10:30 am

They colored "The White Album"?

bureaucrap August 31, 2011 at 10:01 am

It doesn't matter who "They" are, so long as you hate and fear them. Beginning immediately, save the first two minutes of your lunch hour for the "Two minute hate". Now appearing on telescreens near you.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 11:58 am

Not to mention observing two minutes of hate at all ballgames.

Fare la Volpe August 31, 2011 at 10:02 am

Well thank God this coloring book protects kids from vicious Islamic Muslims. Much worse than just those regular old Muslim Muslims.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 10:05 am

I hear some of those Muslims are Extremely Islamic.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:33 am

they are the Pinnacle…the Zenith…the Mountain Dew of Islam. very intense with their mountain bikes and skateboards and paintball guns.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:07 pm

They kneel and face Mecca… TO THE EXTREME!!!!!

SpurningBeer August 31, 2011 at 10:12 am

They're much worse than the Presbyterian Muslims.

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:21 am

And Pastafarian Muslims are just really, really confused.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:08 pm

The noodly appendage is, indeed, halal. Unless you're a member of the meatball and sausage sect. Splitters.

kissawookiee August 31, 2011 at 10:03 am

Hmmm, it appears that my copy is missing the page showing Condi clutching that "Bin Laden Determined to Strike Within US" presidential daily briefing thing. What am I supposed to do with this burnt sienna/sickly white swirl crayon now?

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:18 am

Take it shoe shopping.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Maybe if it had been in coloring book form, Dubya would have paid attention to it.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Needz moar pet goats.

EatsBabyDingos August 31, 2011 at 10:04 am

I'm sure the Fox Gnus crews will have talking points thusly: "9-11, 9-11, 9-11, 9-11, Obama is a racist, 9-11, 9-11, 9-11, Dick Cheney's heroic new book, 9-11, 9-11, 9-11. EIEIO! [rinse, blather, repeat.]"

MissusBarry August 31, 2011 at 10:05 am

It's really great that this country has turned patriotism into a synonym for hateful.

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm

It's the rare country that doesn't. Patriotism is just tribalism under another banner.

baconzgood August 31, 2011 at 10:05 am

This is pretty tasteless….You know Baconz and my mentality and for ME to say it's tasteless….Sheeeeete…color me impressed.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:05 am

Aren't wingnuts (I'm looking at YOU, Malkin), always setting their hair on fire over the Kenyan usurper indoctrinating the children? These assholes engage in more projection than the Cannes film festival.

BarackMyWorld August 31, 2011 at 10:14 am

*see also Obama is racist and Big Government.

Chillwaver August 31, 2011 at 10:06 am

Better than the Mein Kempf Coloring Book.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 10:18 am

The Liberation of Nanking by The Emperor's Glorious Army!!

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:19 am

Actually, sorta the same.

Redhead August 31, 2011 at 10:07 am

"The intent of the book is to educate"
Doesn't it have to have facts to do that? Oh, right, I forgot, not if Texas approves…

"How about a picture of Osama bin Laden in the second before he was shot? "
Texas approves of pictures of old guys jerking off to porn?

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:36 am

"/How about a picture of Osama bin Laden in the second before he was shot?'
Texas approves of pictures of old guys jerking off to porn?"

who's jerking off? OBL or the old guys looking at the coloring book page where OBL gets shot?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm

"Texas approves of pictures of old guys jerking off to porn?"

That'll be in the "Great Republican Politicians of the 21st Century" coloring book.

Oblios_Cap August 31, 2011 at 10:07 am

It's just another grim reminder of the White Man's Burden.

I imagine a lot of folks would be estatic if we would only rest our tired shoulders for a while.

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 10:07 am

Wait. What color are Jews again?

baconzgood August 31, 2011 at 10:38 am

They have red horns.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:36 am

yellow stars.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Blue stars, purple horseshoes– wait, that's the Irish. Okay, we'll take the Jews and Muslims, but no Irish!

DahBoner August 31, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Dirty?

arihaya August 31, 2011 at 10:15 am

they should just stick to that Jesus-riding-on-a-Raptor coloring book

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

Is there a page of Little George on vacation for a month before 9/11, clearing brush in Crawford and ignoring intelligence memos?

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:25 am

I really want to color a picture of Shrub sitting in that classroom, gape-mouthed.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:33 am

What color is frozen and crapping pants with fear? Puce?

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:39 am

Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, that was good.

DerrickWildcat August 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

Just drink your 9/11 Wine and STFU!
http://blog.timesunion.com/dowdondrinks/files/201

Sharkey August 31, 2011 at 11:23 am

Alcohol makes me forget things.

John Birf Society August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

Wow, this went right over my head. Could they dumb it down a bit for me?

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 10:39 am

Yes. Brown people bad, white people good.

John Birf Society August 31, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Hold on. Nope. Still don't get it.

Dr_Zoidberg August 31, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Off to the re-education camps with you!!

SorosBot August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

Oh I’ve learned to hate Muslims
All through my whole life
If another war starts
It’s them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side

(That's nearly half a century old, and yet changing just one word makes it as applicable today as when it came out).

bureaucrap August 31, 2011 at 10:41 am

what was the original word? Trucknutz?

SorosBot August 31, 2011 at 10:56 am

Russians.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 11:44 am

Oh, I’ve learned to love Russians
white, black, and blind.
or bulldogs from C. O.
i really don't mind.
as long as there's vodka
i never will hide,
but if another war starts
i'll be wretching outside.

fuflans August 31, 2011 at 10:22 am

yeah coloring in george fucking bush and a bunch of buildings is going to be a big hit with the five year old set.

coloring book fail.

prommie August 31, 2011 at 10:23 am

I'm remembering the Maine, and the Alamo, and Pearl Harbor. Fucking spaniards, mexicans, and japs.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2011 at 10:34 am

That's fucking spics and wetbacks prommie, but I get yer point.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2011 at 10:35 am

All I can remember is the 5th of November. And the Titans.

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Do you remember? The 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasing the clouds away.

DahBoner August 31, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I am trying to forget August 31, 2011….

Swampgas_Man August 31, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Try to remember
That time in September
When grass was green, and teabags were yellow . . . .

gurukalehuru August 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

The Maine, modern forensic evidence has proven, did indeed explode due to an overheated boiler. Fuck Bill McKinley and William Randolph Hearst. Never forget.

FlownOver August 31, 2011 at 11:39 am

Longtemps, je me suis couché de bonne heure.

prommie August 31, 2011 at 12:48 pm

54-40 or fight.

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:25 am

I hope there are ample pictures of water-boarding… I LOVE blue!

arihaya August 31, 2011 at 12:23 pm

and i love GREEENN !!

did Bin laden got weed?

not that Dewey August 31, 2011 at 10:26 am

Does the 9/11 coloring book show Pinochet torturing and murdering his own citizens with the help of Kissinger?

Tundra Grifter August 31, 2011 at 11:09 am

Or the CIA (Kermit Roosevelt) overthrowing the government of Iran in the early 1950's.

Mad Men with guns.

jus_wonderin August 31, 2011 at 10:28 am

Cool! This will make a great stocking stuffer for my 9/11 Day celebration. Regretably, I think I put my tree up to early, but it is hot down here in Texas so that might be the reason it is browning.

Did find a way this year to keep the cat out of the tree. Pigeon spikes do the trick.

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2011 at 12:21 pm

BROWN TREE = MUSLIN TREE BURN IT BURN IT.

DashboardBuddha August 31, 2011 at 10:28 am

I hate this publisher with the heat of a 1000 suns.

weejee August 31, 2011 at 10:33 am

Think karma, Dash, lots and lots a karma.

DahBoner August 31, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Maybe a suicide bomber will accidentally crash into their offices.

Ha! That would be ironic….

trampndirtdown August 31, 2011 at 10:34 am

This could spawn a whole new generation of Blutarskis "Was it over when the Iranians bombed the 7-11 hell no!"

Chillwaver August 31, 2011 at 10:35 am

"Wayne Bell, publisher of Really Big Coloring Books, Inc., in St. Louis, says that the book is a memorial tribute. "It is an informational piece to help educate children on events on 9/11," Bell said. He added that it is "a simplistic, honest tool."

Wayne is a simplistic, dishonest tool.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Not simple, but simplistic. He speaks more truth than he knows.

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2011 at 12:22 pm

He is, as the good people at Big Hollywood called me yesterday, "disingenious."

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 2:05 pm

They misunderestimate you!

EatsBabyDingos August 31, 2011 at 10:35 am

There's a 16 month old I know who likes to "paint" on the walls when her diaper is poopy. I'm going to blow up the Bush page, and paste it on the wall next to her crib. When she's done crying from looking at the Bush drawing, I'll give her three jars of bean burrito baby food and a half bottle of prune juice. In a few hours, I'm thinking the Mona Lisa of George Bush pictures, in bas relief. Epic.

Rotundo_ August 31, 2011 at 7:18 pm

It would almost be redundant, but it would capture the essence of Dubya in a way no other medium ever could. Be sure to leave it in his presnidentshul liberry in a quiet corner near the ventilation ducts.

scionkirk August 31, 2011 at 10:37 am

I'm sure Hitler is in South America somewhere slapping himself saying 'DAMN IT! anti-semitic coloring books, why didn't I think of that!?'

Mahousu August 31, 2011 at 11:57 am

He did, actually. (Warning: links are to what you think they are.)

Biel_ze_Bubba August 31, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Beat me by 60 seconds. Damn.

x111e7thst August 31, 2011 at 10:45 am

Is They Ghey?

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 10:46 am

Do they have pictures of-
A. The bin Ladens watching the attacks with Bush Sr.?
B. Them being allowed to leave the country, even though there was no flying allowed?
C. W reading to kids from an upside down book?
D. Republicans taking healthcare away from first responders?
E. Bush being a complete failure at catching bin Laden?
F. etc…?
No? Hmm… so it really doesn't tell the whole story then… OK.

BlueStateLibel August 31, 2011 at 10:56 am

No snark, but what is the point of just endlessly hating these people? Did we hate the Germans and Japanese after World War II?

DaRooster August 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

I'm sure once we completely demoralize and destroy the people and lands of Afghanistan and Iraq (and where ever else we decide) we will rebuild them in our image… and they will be bigger and stronger then ever before.

Tundra Grifter August 31, 2011 at 11:31 am

I don't think I'm going to live long enough to drive an automobile designed and built in Afghanistan.

Polythene_Pam August 31, 2011 at 10:59 am

I have yet to meet a child who actually enjoys coloring in a coloring book, anyway.

Oh, some teens do, in a cutesy nostalgia throwback kind of way. But, no actual child gets excited about coloring in pictures in a book anymore.

gurukalehuru August 31, 2011 at 11:08 am

While I would agree with you that they are generally overrated, I know one 4 year old for sure who loves them.

mumbly_joe August 31, 2011 at 11:11 am

It's actually a fun sort of party to throw, with booze, amongst geeky hipster types, for the aforementioned nostalgia throwback reasons. It can actually be really fun to drunkenly give Hello Kitty a makeover as Rorshach from Watchmen because of something that came up in conversation two minutes ago.

GhostBuggy August 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

Ha ha, holy shit, there's a picture of W wondering what the fuck to do for 10 minutes while the country was being attacked! They actually put it in there! Was there enough room to also include a reporter asking him about bin Laden, and Bush responding with "Watch this swing"?

user-of-owls August 31, 2011 at 11:07 am

This post is no help at all. I mean who do I color in with my Indian Red crayon?

What the fuck did Manmohan Singh have to do with any of this 9-11 argle-bargle?

Tundra Grifter August 31, 2011 at 11:10 am

First they came for our crayons, and I said nothing.

succalina August 31, 2011 at 11:17 am

How did I know the publisher would be Southern before even hearing him open his pie hole? How did I know his name would be Wayne?

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Ten to one he's not a licensed plumber.

traceyswans August 31, 2011 at 11:22 am

I'm most troubled by the grammatical construction "‘they’ know of whom they are". I don't want America's children exposed to such filth.

amalgamated_inc August 31, 2011 at 11:26 am

"Yes, 'they' know of whom they are."

They know of whom they are?! GODDAMMIT, STOP SPEEKIN' FANCY MESSICAN.

El Pinche August 31, 2011 at 11:30 am

My kids love the muslin kids. They're the ones with the cool custom surround sound giant screen teevees and PS3s, and swimming pool because their daddies work for IBM and Dell. The homeschooled conservative xian kids are lame and boring.

BTWBFDIMHO August 31, 2011 at 11:57 am

Never forget 9/11! Forget Oklahoma City!

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Leaving aside the Muslim-baiting, why in the hell would anyone want to make coloring books for kids of real-life, tragic events? How about a "Catching The Killer Clown" Gacy coloring book? Or "Eric & Dylan Do Columbine?" Arrest this dumbass publisher for child abuse.

genxr August 31, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Do you think Michele Bachman would autograph my John Wayne Gacy coloring book?

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 12:18 pm

The page with Osama getting smoked is kinda funny though. In a Robert Smigel kind of way.

Trannysurprise August 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm

This reminds me of the cheerful Pearl Harbor coloring book where you needed a whole box of yellow crayons to get through it. Now we just need some brown – lots of brown crayons.

thefrontpage August 31, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Did Bill O'Reilly and his wife write this coloring book?

Mahousu August 31, 2011 at 12:41 pm

No, but they did tear it in half before coloring it. In separate houses, as far away from each other as possible.

hollywooddood August 31, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Mrs. O'Reilly was too busy boinking her boyfriend.

MinAgain August 31, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Crappy cover design. It looks like 19/11, which, as we all know, is when the Mayans predicted that the Earth would collapse like a deflated balloon.

owhatever August 31, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Did I miss something? Is there a danger that the kids in this country are in danger of forgetting about 9/11? I know my generation forgot all about Pearl Harbor by 1951.

The publisher is out to make a buck from the conservative fools who can't read a whole book with words.

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Have you seen the kids in this country? They've already forgotten who won what on the VMAs.

Native_of_SL_UT August 31, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I'm going to make my own coloring books with the antics of John Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, Jared Loughner, Jim Jones, David Koresh, Timothy McViegh and others. It will be Awesome and teach kids lots of cool stuff.

proudgrampa August 31, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Sorry, no snark on this one. I want my grandchildren to have this ambience:

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

I know. I'm sorry.

FlownOver August 31, 2011 at 8:48 pm

After reading that, they can have my Ambiens too. The Snooze is overpowering.

Negropolis September 1, 2011 at 1:47 am

“some Muslim people believe the attacks were a conspiracy caused by Jews?”

And, apparently, so do a helluva lot of so-called Christians.

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 6:53 am

When will publishers learn to just put turds between the covers.? Skips the middle-man and saves a helluva lot of trees.

Fare la Volpe August 31, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I can't draw human feet

Neither can Rob Liefeld, but that never stopped him.

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm

thanks. now i'll be flashing back to this horrific image all day:
http://progressiveboink.com/b/images/rob/bill1.jp

Chet Kincaid August 31, 2011 at 1:56 pm

This is why I'm glad I got out of comics in 1982.

Fare la Volpe August 31, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"You're not my daddy… You're not my daddy…"

baconzgood August 31, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Ohhhhhhh! I have this marked as "forbidden".

poncho_pilot August 31, 2011 at 12:55 pm

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