TIME TRAVEL  6:58 pm August 30, 2011

Ancient Evidence of Rick Perry’s Brief Humanity Surfaces In Old Letter

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

photo of rick perry post-transformation into secessionist teabagger asshole.Newsflash, we guess: Rick Perry miraculously sounds like a sentient human in a secret communique he typed to Hillary Clinton (!) at some point 18 years ago before the demons of compassion lost the battle for his soul. Perry wrote the letter as Texas Agricultural Commissioner to praise Clinton for her attempt at the time to begin reforming health care and requested Clinton consider rural Texas and its struggles to maintain medical access for its agricultural workers. “Rural populations have a high proportion of uninsured people, rising health care costs, and often experience lack of services,” Perry wrote to her with a voice showing concern for others so alien to the toxic sludge-flavored acid trip known as the Rick Perry Experience that we had to wonder: is it real? Apparently, since Rick Perry’s campaign immediately responded by defending him with a more familiar line: he had no clue what was really going on.

The full text of the letter can be seen here. One notable passage:

As the Agriculture Commissioner for the State of Texas, I have a strong interest in the problem of health care delivery to rural areas. Over 50 hospitals have closed in rural Texas since the mid-eighties. Most rural communities have problems with access to adequate health care due to shortage of physicians, clinics and hospitals within a safe driving distance.

And here is Rick Perry’s campaign today, from the DC:

“You need to read the letter,” top Perry political strategist Dave Carney told The Daily Caller. “He praised her efforts in trying to tackle the issue and urged her not to overlook rural Americans. The letter was at the onset of her efforts before she proposed anything. No one could have imagined the horrible monstrosity she cooked up, in fact not to be outdone until ObamaCare years later.”

Yes, good they avoided that horrible monstrosity from that very dark chapter of Rick Perry’s brief stint as a recognizable human and Texas Agricultural Commissioner. And then Texas went on to have the highest rate of uninsured Americans in the entire country under Governor Rick Perry, everyone was happy, the end. [The DC]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 186 comments }

nounverb911 August 30, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I was for health care for the poors before I was against it?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 30, 2011 at 11:17 pm

"I was for health care for the poors before I sold out to big business and became a true Republican."

Terry August 31, 2011 at 9:02 am

"I was for health care for the poors before I realized that the crazy people who might vote for me or give me money are against it."

BarackMyWorld August 30, 2011 at 7:03 pm

+10 TeaTard Points for turning this into an attack on Obama, but -100 Rational Points for being ridiculous.

bagofmice August 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm

So we're even then?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Everybody knows ONE TeaTurd point=100 Rational Points anyway.

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Wait, but what's that worth in Whore Diamonds? Can you even exchange one for the other?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Wow, you can get diamonds for this shit?

Nobody ever offered me diamonds before.

Lascauxcaveman August 30, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Hard to believe Rick Perry was ever anything as useful as an Agricultural Commissioner. Much less one that actually felt concern for actual agricultural workers. (Mexicans? Really?!)

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Don't get too carried away. You only get benefits if you're on the books.

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:08 pm

He has experience in animal husbandry.

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 10:40 pm

So, that's what the kids are calling sheep-fucking, these days? I guess this is the Christian way of doing it; you have to make a proper spouse of them.

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 11:03 pm

I was just making reference to Perry's academic activities at Texas A&M. The Huffington Post claims to have obtained the governor's college transcript. Apparently he was on academic probation until he decided to run for student government (I guess God called him then, too). Henceforth he improved somewhat, but overall his grades remained worse than the ones W. earned at Yale. HP's Jason Cherkis writes, “Perry also did poorly in classes within his animal science major. In fall semester 1970, he received a D in veterinary anatomy, a F in a second course on organic chemistry and a C in animal breeding. He did get an A in world military systems and “Improv. of Learning” — his only two As while at A&M.” Perhaps that A in World Military Systems would impress Darth Cheney.—

Negropolis August 31, 2011 at 2:22 am

Yeah, I knew. I was trying to make a joke.

nounverb911 August 30, 2011 at 7:04 pm

"due to shortage of physicians, clinics and hospitals within a safe driving distance"
No place in Texas is a safe driving distance away.

Radiotherapy® August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

They used to measure driving distance in Texas by six packs. six packs. Ergo,

Mumbletypeg August 30, 2011 at 8:39 pm

What a brilliant find. *deep bow*

Lucidamente1 August 30, 2011 at 7:05 pm

The late Murray Kempton used to divide politicians into "fake fakes" and "genuine fakes," the latter generally winning elections. Rick Perry has taken genuine fakery to a new level.

The speed of his reply makes me wonder: who is Perry's Karl Rove?

Rotundo_ August 30, 2011 at 7:14 pm

I've been wondering the same thing: Someone is pulling this crackers' strings and whoever it is, is golden. I woulda thought that being the chair for Gore 1988 in Tejas would have marked the death knell for him, but he just keeps going. I know that Rover was just one of hundreds of sneaky little shits in college repubs but whoever this one is, they must be pretty good to keep Goodhair from imploding yet. Color me impressed and depressed.

V572 T-Blow August 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

You'll be sorry you asked: just heard on NPR that Douglas Feith, the "the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth" by one account, and profoundly unself-aware arrogant prick Donald Rumsfeld are briefing the candidate on military and foreign affairs.

Lucidamente1 August 30, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Oy vey. But this makes me think he's also going after Ron Paul voters:
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rick-perry-warns

V572 T-Blow August 30, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Wolfowitz and Perle are probably available at a substantial discount from the hourly rates of their glory days (Mar 20-23, 2003). Look out, Iran!

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Sweet fucking Christ.

Nothingisamiss August 30, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Holy shit. I've been wondering the same thing, and now that we have a little answer I'm gobsmacked. I assumed (silly me) that he was just the newest shiny object. What's interesting is that the Bushies and Rove hate him by all accounts…..What is the shithead Rumsfield doing with this? And speaking of these unspeakable people…haven't they fucked us up enough? Why can't evil retire? ('Cause I'll ne ver be able to.)

Dudleydidwrong August 30, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Feith will do anything once any Reich Wing Pavlov rings the bell–he has no scruples and less intelligence. Rumsfeld probably signed up as a "famous name" and gets some money for the effort; the taxes on his St. Michaels (MD) property are due.

Both are "Jolly Punching Clowns" who keep popping up until someone sticks a pin and deflates them.

Rotundo_ August 30, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Feith and Rummy don't surprise me on defense and foreign policy, both are big on deathstar like weapon systems that don't work and sending troops off to "conflicts" without the proper equipment. But whoever is pulling his strings in a more meta sense, messaging etc. I still do not know, and so far, Ricky is shooting his mouth off with relatively little damage on the GOP side of things. Everybody knows he is dumber than a bag of hammers, but the realization hasn't hit home with the Republicans yet. When most of the old crew GOP comes out and just says that he is an idiot, and yet he pulls the numbers he does, it has to be magic. Whether it is the magic of GOP stupidity or ginned up poll numbers it still is magic. Hopefully it is just the reaction of the party to a crowd of candidates that are all idiots and once they find that the white knight from Tejas is one too the horse('s ass) race will begin in earnest.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 30, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Being stupid is a plus where the teatard/Xtards are concerned. Get used to it.

Preferred Customer August 30, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I heard that, too. The word "unbelievable" is used to often about things that aren't religion, but it is completely appropriate here. How anyone could listen to those guys is beyond comprehension. Hell, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't listen to Rumsfeld if he told me NOT to drink sulfuric acid.

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Not JUST Feith. Rumsfeld, as well.

fuflans August 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm

i heard this too. it was confirmation that there's more there there than b/t rick perry's ears.

also: why he terrifies me.

Dashboard_Jesus August 31, 2011 at 12:05 am

oh fuck, I hadn't thought of that evil fuck Feith in years, the asshole was one of the BIGGEST chickenshit chickenhawk scumbags who pushed the hell that is STILL the O.I.L. (Operation Iraq Liberation, natch) I wish Tommy Franks woulda just had one of his Rangers or Seals or whatever take this fucker out rather than subject the world to any more of his stupidity, just one well-trained US military sniper coulda ended the miserable stain on the earth that is Doug Feith (ask me what I REALLY think of the asshole!)

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Probably Karl Rove.

fuflans August 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm

i don't think so. the gossip circuits have it that rove HATES perry and has for a long time.

which could explain rumsfeld supporting him (do i remember correctly that rove was a 'bush creature' and always at odds with bush senior creatures rumsfeld, cheney?

or i could just be drunk. again.

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Oh, that's interesting. Why on Earth would Karl not love his old boss's equally dim doppelganger, I wonder?

fuflans August 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm

here's wiki on the subject. i think it hits high points i've heard elsewhere:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feud_between_Karl_Ro

MissTaken August 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Ah, a shiny-new Republican Perry was already showing the GOP tendency to support stuff that benefits their local jurisdictions and saying 'fuck off' to the rest of America.

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:14 pm

If only the blue states would do that…

Tengu August 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

As governor, Perry's plan to execute the poor and handicapped proved more cost effective.

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 7:15 pm

An ounce of prevention is worth….

rocktonsam August 30, 2011 at 8:58 pm

that was just to keep the Palin's out of Texas.

mavenmaven August 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Nothing like some appropriate campaign support from powerful rich people to open his eyes to a new understanding of the situation.

nounverb911 August 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

And Molly Ivins is just laughing her tush off in heaven.

Nothingisamiss August 30, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Or maybe hurricane Irene was Molly crying?

BarackMyWorld August 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm

And I bet Jim Hightower lost his shit when he read this.

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I'm sure his 10-gallon spontaneously combusted.

Dashboard_Jesus August 31, 2011 at 12:38 am

gawd how I miss Ms. Molly, she was NOT afraid to call out these "all hat no cattle" fake cowboys like Bush and Guv 'Goodhair' Perry (I believe Molly nailed that name on Perry's fake ass when he was Lt Guv, an even MORE useless job in TexASS than Guv!)

MissusBarry August 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm

He was obviously suggesting to HC that she pray about the uninsured rural poorz and let the invisible hand lay itself on them to heal them. Obviously. And that, only for the whites.

BlueStateLibel August 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Oh, they all had hearts at one point, even my mother-in-law.

Rotundo_ August 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Yes, but they usually turn black and wither like Big Swingin' Dick Cheneys' heart has. I think they only have hearts in the sentimental sense when it comes to their own young, and then it ends at the edge of their food bowl so to speak.

Maman August 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Dick Cheney doesn't have a heart. Literally.

Nothingisamiss August 30, 2011 at 8:16 pm

And yet he lives, thanks to government healthcare.

HistoriCat August 30, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Damn – the teabaggers were right.

imissopus August 30, 2011 at 7:09 pm

RINO!!

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 7:14 pm

"No one could have imagined the horrible monstrosity she cooked up"

Rick Perry is a Hillary Souffle?

SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN OFF THE OVEN AND RUN!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 30, 2011 at 11:24 pm

How about we turn ON the oven, with no flame, and run?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 30, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Isn't it strange how Conservatism, much like Syphilis, causes a rotting of the brain so that logical, reasonable position that you held only a decade before suddenly must be denied like the Apostle Peter before the cock crows. If Romney, Perry, Pawlenty, etc. etc. actually ran on what they govern like, versus what the 'baggers want to hear, they might have a chance to do something good for this country. Unfortunately, the Conservative movement in this country has long since divorced itself from rationality, and forces all Republicans to repudiate themselves and anything intelligent they might have said.

This is, of course, the Palinization of the Conservatism. What used to be a movement of ideas is now a movement of grifters looking out for what is best for them and for those that bankroll them.

MissTaken August 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm

I think of it as a movement of bowels

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Many more upfists are needed for this.

Beowoof August 30, 2011 at 8:41 pm

A bad stomach virus spreading across America.

Doktor Zoom August 30, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I wonder what the doctors injected into Perry's eyes.

genxr August 30, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Shortage of doctors in rural areas? Sounds like the free market at work. If those poor rural farmers want doctors, they can offer a higher salary than, say, Houston oil billionaires and investment bankers.

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm

If these por rurals praid moar, they wouldn't get sick!!!!!!!!1!!1

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 30, 2011 at 7:16 pm

You know who else was force to renounce everything s/he believed in in order to gain more power?

MissTaken August 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Obama?

imissopus August 30, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Anakin Skywalker?

GunToting[Redacted] August 30, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Obama?

V572 T-Blow August 30, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Except Barry didn't get any more power. What's that expression that comes to mind, something about crippled waterfowl?

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm

You know… if November '10 through January '11 are indication, the surest way to get Barry to do something left of center is to vote him out.

We'd have single-payer by Christmas.

RedneckMuslin August 30, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Jesus?

genxr August 30, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Obama Skywalker?

weejee August 30, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Martha Stewart?

Radiotherapy® August 30, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Copernicus?

Chet Kincaid August 30, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Hillary Clinton?

mumbly_joe August 30, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Obama Clinton?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:03 pm

That's easy. Gautama Buddha.

Wait, no. That can't be right.

Hitler?

Nothingisamiss August 30, 2011 at 8:17 pm

+++

Dashboard_Jesus August 31, 2011 at 1:23 am

WIN!

BlueStateLibel August 30, 2011 at 8:14 pm

That weasel in accounting?

flamingpdog August 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm
ShaveTheWhales August 31, 2011 at 12:59 am

Jesus. You remember Reddy Kilowatt?

Dashboard_Jesus August 31, 2011 at 1:32 am

why yes I do, he was my first and favorite corporate cartoon spokesman (spokestoon?) as a kid, and 'ol Reddy probably paved the way in making me a docile, easily manipulated puppet for the right-wing phony fundies that came along later to shove the 'free market' philosophy up the butts of my *followers*…hey kids LUV cartoons right?! (I hear Ronnie Raygun was Reddy's BFF!) http://www.addictinginfo.org/2011/01/10/republica

V572 T-Blow August 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

Power to The People!

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Diego Forlán?

mumbly_joe August 30, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Aang?

Preferred Customer August 30, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Martin Luther?

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Bill Clinton?

HelmutNewton August 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm

All of them, Katie. (Politicians, that is.)

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 10:47 pm

The Knights Templar?

Peter the Disciple?

trampndirtdown August 30, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Dale the middle manager?

ShaveTheWhales August 31, 2011 at 1:00 am

Saruman? Yes, I know, NEEERRDD.

Goonemeritus August 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Reads a little like Rick had fallen prey to Hillary’s powerful sexual aura and compelling child bearing hips.

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 7:22 pm

It was the headband….

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:03 pm

And sturdy, serviceable cankles.

nappyduggs August 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm

And she's got bigger plums than most of the dudes he secretly lusts after; so it's like the Trifecta.

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:23 pm

And the way she took down those Bosnian snipers.

flamingpdog August 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

A polished, considerate, logical letter written to Hillary from Rick Perry.

Who REALLY wrote this?

Nothingisamiss August 30, 2011 at 8:18 pm

My first thought. And did the person who wrote it tell him about it?

COMPASSION LIBEL!

edgydrifter August 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

He wrote "I have a strong interest in the problem of health care delivery to rural areas," but it's pronounced "Heh! Compassion's for sissies. Now watch me kick this orphan–shazam!"
Texan is a hard language.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 8:01 pm

So why a letter to the First Lady, instead of involving the local health care providers (hospitals, doctors, clinics)? He doesn't believe in markets' abilities to allocate resources? The Invisible Hand-Sanitizer? Eh?

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:17 pm

When he's in state government he thinks the Feds should pay for everything. When he's running for president, nothing is the Feds' responsibility. He's just demonstrating his suitability for public office.

RedneckMuslin August 30, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Oh hell, he's killed a lot of puppies since his Demoncrat days. He's okay now.

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Those puppy squashing videos are a big money maker, y'all!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 30, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Squashing doesn't sound very Texan to me.
I thought he used them in place of clay pigeons.

Mahousu August 30, 2011 at 7:21 pm

You know, back in 1993, George W. Bush could speak in complete, coherent sentences, too. Perhaps in 1994 rogue U.S. Public Health scientists decided to conduct experiments on random Texas politicians?

snoopyfan2010 August 30, 2011 at 8:44 pm

That's what happens when you start to lie.

Rotundo_ August 30, 2011 at 8:55 pm

My doG, you might be on to something-They were infected with…………………………………………………………IGNORANCE! RUN! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!11!!!1!

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 30, 2011 at 11:29 pm

"back in 1993, George W. Bush could speak in complete, coherent sentences"

I'll believe it when I see it on YouTube.

JackObin August 30, 2011 at 7:21 pm

And now I guess he wants to send them to Doctor Jesus. I hear he has a terrible manger-side manner.

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 7:27 pm

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures.

Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

Pastor Mike walked up to Jimmy and said, "Well, Jimmy, where did you get the little infant?"

Jimmy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

With a sheepish smile, Jimmy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it."

flamingpdog August 30, 2011 at 8:33 pm

And even hard-bitten Joe Friday was too touched to slap handcuffs on little Jimmy and throw him in the back of the squad car.

Beowoof August 30, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Conservative police officer, just like this guy http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/public-fornic

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm

The power of antibiotics compels you!

rocktonsam August 30, 2011 at 7:22 pm

W. Perry has the gift of blowing smoke up his own ass.

brilliant

weejee August 30, 2011 at 7:41 pm

The human hookah with hoses going in (coming out) of both ends?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Beowoof August 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

And I thought he had plugged it so nicely with his own head.

MinAgain August 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm

As Agriculture Commissioner, he was probably getting a better quality of weed.

weejee August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Peyote

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:18 pm

With a tequila chaser.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Agriculture Commissioner? In Texas? Ken, would you write me a good recommendation? Or, should I ask Benincasa Sara-Lou?

arihaya August 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm

well someone have to had a soul sometime in his past to trade it with the devil

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm

I think he just *sold* it to the devil, dear. Money was good enough for a trade.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 8:11 pm

The Devil Used to Read Pravda. No, wait.

flamingpdog August 30, 2011 at 8:35 pm

So, are you saying that Dick Cheney collects Texas governor souls?

HistoriCat August 30, 2011 at 9:06 pm

That would explain so much.

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm

That explains how he got the hair, but what about the political power?

arihaya August 30, 2011 at 9:30 pm

in mortgage, to be paid by American people's souls once he's in White House

AlaskaGrrl August 30, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I'm sure that after eight years a s governor of Texas, rural Texas is a model of rural health care and that has open and equitable access for the poorest of citizens.

Just kidding. Perry was a nominal Democrat at the time, but he's been a life long self-serving, ego centric, hypocritical, bag of hot air.

weejee August 30, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Is it time for the A&M bonfire? Can we make Goodhair somemoarz?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm

"Hot air"? I was told he was a bag of shit.

anniegetyerfun August 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I read it as "hot hair". Works either way.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I'm gonna disagree with you on that one, just because "hot" can mean "lights a fire in my pantalones." And the last thing on earth I want is a fire in my pantalones when I'm looking at that disgusting blivet.

He looks like the pervy family friend/relative that, when he comes to visit, you send all the kids on sleepovers to their friends' houses, just, you know, to keep them safe, and what-all.

Warpde August 30, 2011 at 7:33 pm

OK, were getting to the point where Rickie's handlers are going to have to tell him to…….

"Just shut the fuck up Rick. No, we mean it. So just stand there, look good and keep your fucking yap closed.
Your making Bachmann look like a god damned rocket scientist for Christ's sake"

deanbooth August 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm

At some point, poor people became those people.

genxr August 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

And then poor people became we the people.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:08 pm

No, "we, the people" became "poor people."

chascates August 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Now Texans complain it's the influx of the brownz that cause rural hospitals to close. They want them for cheap labor but prefer they and their dependents vanish from view.

Of course blaming the brownz is now as natural and 'Merikan as screaming about the deficit rather than the lack of jobs or the lambasting the mainstream media rather than hate radio and Faux News.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Natural? Perry is not an expert on the nature vs. nurture debate.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Yeah, but then they kick out all the browns, and there's millions of dollars worth of produce rotting in the fields. Lose-lose.

Comrade Wingtard August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

It was probably residual farts left behind on the office chair by Jim Hightower that caused his thoughts to go astray … then he realized he isn't worth even one of Hightower's farts and promptly became a weirdo macho death obsessed Xtian creep.

Lucidamente1 August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

It's all the Boy Scouts' fault: http://gawker.com/5835949/rick-perry-will-save-th

Serolf_Divad August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Nobody at the time, least of all Rick Perry, could possibly have imagined that Hillary Clinton would have proposed a health care system overhaul that diverged one iota from the Tea Party favored approach of: "end all subsidies and regulations and let those who can afford it pay for it themselves."

genxr August 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Now if that doesn't bring more doctors to poor rural areas, I don't know what will!

mumbly_joe August 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

And when he said he wanted someone to "help address the challenge of rural health care delivery," he meant in ways that didn't involve subsidies, regulations, direct government incentives, or any sort of interference in the working of the status quo free market at all.

He also meant that she should do this while getting rid of the programs that pay doctors for treating people who are poor and old.

Mumbletypeg August 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Agriculture Commissioners Gone Rogue. I do believe this news out-kinks the entry of Kinky Friedman into the seat race some years ago.
Let's hope for Texas's sake these are just one-hit wonders. I'd pay to see them all play garage-band style during their retirement years at some Thunderbird Lounge, but I'd sell my soul to see these clowns get their due first.

James Michael Curley August 30, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Kinky Friedman's entry as a Democratic candidate for Governor in 2006 got 12% of the vote. More than enough to deminish Chris Bell's likeihood to beat a very unpopular Perry. Friedman's candidacy was promoted by Don Imus, incessantly, on his morning show broadcast all accross the country in the pre "nappy headed ho"' days.

Mumbletypeg August 30, 2011 at 9:36 pm

That is the kind of background info I wish I'd had before posting my comment. I knew (not being from TX) I didn't have the full familiars at hand; just gleaned a few articles, knowing Friedman's name mostly from my early bookselling days, and bemused at the easy sell-ability of a colorful persona on a voting public. When Kinky mentions in a recent Daily Beast interview that he'd observed Perry fill in for the ZZ Top drummer at some venue, I recognized my ultimate wish-fulfilment fantasy at seeing all the batshit-weirdo's — now populating the political landscape — instead in some kind of Rock Bottom Remainders showcase rather than angling for high offices to the detriment of the whole country.

KeepFnThatChicken August 30, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Unsurprised cynical reader is unsurprised.

CapeClod August 30, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Perry has since realized that praying for the health of the rural poor is more cost effective that providing health care services.

Warpde August 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

And has the same response.
How dat rain comin Rickie?
What you say?
Went to the East Coast and missed Texas?
Again?
Well, even God has his bad day's.

owhatever August 30, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Everyone makes a mistake now and then. For example, take Rick Perry's mother.

smokefilleddoommate August 30, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Damn, I can't believe '93 was eighteen fucking years ago.
Anyhoo, ol' Rick had to network somehow, right? Politics–it's not what you believe in, it's the people you know, amirite? Ouch, these stupid cheap 'thong' sandals are hurting my feet..

Radiotherapy® August 30, 2011 at 7:48 pm

C'mon, all ye olde teabaggers, we forgave him for dressing up like two-bit corporal , surely you can forgive him for even caring about poor farmers.

a_pink_poodle August 30, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Well, in Texas they say
That Perry's big heart shrank three sizes that day

Troglodeity August 31, 2011 at 1:51 am

Y'know, the fucker does kinda look like the Jim Carrey grinch…

Callyson August 30, 2011 at 7:53 pm

"It all depends on what your definition of health care is"

widget2011 August 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm

And then the worms ate into his brain?

smokefilleddoommate August 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Worms crawl in, worms crawl out..
No one really knows how it happens.

Pragmatist2 August 30, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Rick Perry used to be Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann used to be Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin used to be Fred Thompson
Fred Thompson used to be Rudy Giuliani

But the truth is "no savior's going to rise from these streets…."

Preferred Customer August 30, 2011 at 8:57 pm

I read that as "no savior's going to rise from these seas…"

You underestimate the power of Cthulu.

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Because they don't like the "I'm no hero, that's understood" part.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Perry: "Have you heard about our new program Doctors Without Borders in Texas? Well, think about it, they've just closed all the Borders stores in the state. Shame."

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Trying to sell books in Texas would be like trying to sell bacon in Israel.

BTWBFDIMHO August 30, 2011 at 10:27 pm

What you say about TX may be true.
Laredo, a town of a quarter-million people, lost its last bookstore last year. Next place to buy a book from Laredo: 150 miles away… http://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/afte
But Borders is closing all the stores at a national level…They can't compete with Amazon…
Next one on the out-of-business list may be Barnes and Noble, and then we would have to drive to Mexico to buy a book…What? No, not a joke, Benincasa….

GregComlish August 30, 2011 at 8:23 pm

I don't understand why so many people are inferring that Rick Perry of yesteryear was somehow decent while the current Rick Perry is a vile teabagging panderer. More likely, Rick Perry is and has always been a ambitious cynic doing absolutely everything he needs to do to get ahead. Back when he was in Texas Agriculture Dept. he functioned as a competent technocrat because that's what was required to get ahead. Now he's got to run for President in the Republican primary which means he has to compete with Michele Bachman for teabagger bonafides. He never gave a shit about rural health care, he doesn't give a shit about Jesus, and he only loves capitalist fundamentalism insofar-as it helps him enrich himself and his cohorts.

Goonemeritus August 30, 2011 at 8:33 pm

So out of the present three top polling Republican candidates two have similar problems. It appears both Mitt and Rick have proven that in the privacy of their own mind they think their present party dogma is crap. I won’t bother giving you examples from Mitt’s past they are well documented. And I know many will say one paragraph shouldn’t define Rick but let’s break it down.
First he seems to suggest that American healthcare is not preeminent in all things. We have been led to believe this is presently the case so either healthcare delivery has improved in the last 18 years or he is off script. Secondly by writing this letter he is implicitly suggesting that Government can be part of the solution. And lastly talking about Hillary much less writing to her without using sarcasm pejoratives or demeaning language of any kind is unforgivable in all Republican circles.
Enjoy the Bachmann campaign Teatards.

Guppy06 August 30, 2011 at 9:29 pm

"It appears both Mitt and Rick have proven that in the privacy of their own mind they think their present party dogma is crap."

And the third doesn't have a mind.

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Rick may be slightly closer to Romney than he is too Bachmann, but not by enough that he's his own, distinct type of evil. Romney told an audience during a debate with Ted Kennedy that he was better on abortion rights and gay rights issues than Ted. Rick may be cynical, but he'd never have been caught dead saying that shit, not even if he'd have lived in Massachusetts. Ricky may not be a true believer, but he's definitely a believer. Romney would death panel his ailing wife if he thought it'd make him president.

El Pinche August 30, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Uh oh , a love letter to Hill thanking her for the socialism? Might as well have a gay sex video.

bflrtsplk August 30, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Something's fishy here. Must be a different Rick Perry.

rocktonsam August 30, 2011 at 9:00 pm

The difference between Bush jr and Perry is Jr never said anything in the past he would ever have to deny.

Doktor Zoom August 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm

#NotIntendedToBeACompassionateStatement

BornInATrailer August 30, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Tarded Texan says what?

DerrickWildcat August 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm

“You need to read the letter, and put it into a Rick Perry context"
Yes he wrote the letter but it was for the purpose of getting money from the Government under the guise of it going to people who actually needed it. Only 10% of the money would have actually ended up in the hands of the poor. The other 90% was going to Al Qaeda to fund their war on Saddam Hussein.

Rick Perry 2012!

iburl August 30, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Rick Perry Blows (with the winds of opportunism)

Beowoof August 30, 2011 at 11:32 pm

The fellas at his favorite clubs say he blows everyone.
http://austin.gaycities.com/bars/

elburritodeluxe August 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Rick used to be so into those dusky farmhands…

carlgt1 August 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm

the "horrible monstrosity" of poor rural Texans having access to health care! Jesus must be furious with Rick!

Jukesgrrl August 30, 2011 at 10:24 pm

That explains the water going to the wrong place.

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 10:28 pm

50 closed hopsitals in rural Texas over the 80's, right? That just sounds like the invisible hand of the market at work, to me, right? If the peasants don't live long enough to tan enough cowhide to make their own bootstraps by which to pull themselves up, it ain't my problem.

Perry is some whore. Some whore, indeed. He's not a Romney-sized whore, but he's certainly a Texas-sized whore.

Troglodeity August 31, 2011 at 1:54 am

So… Social Security is "monstrous" and ObamaCare is a "monstrosity"? I guess Gingrich has a patent on "grotesque."

MiniMencken August 31, 2011 at 2:10 am

Wait till his hunky carpenter boyfriend that he kept, that everyone in Austin politics knew about, surfaces. It'll be oh-so-good!

Pete in Williamsburg August 31, 2011 at 6:23 am

That spin excuse makes total sense: Like all activist young Republicans during the 90s, Perry was shocked, just shcoked to learn that Hilary Clinton to come up with a health care reform plan he didn't like.

delaney_blom August 31, 2011 at 11:02 am

Nice signature.

Does he sign bills into Texas law as just "Rick"?

ttommyunger September 1, 2011 at 7:03 am

A flip-flopping Politician? Who knew?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: