Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Burn the WITCH!

    • DahBoner

      Well, no wonder! This twit is from "Christine OD".

      Guess she musta got ahold of some bad stuff….

    • poncho_pilot

      rarely is the question asked, "is our witches burning?"

      • flamingpdog

        Wish I could upthumb this more than once.

        • poncho_pilot

          thanks! i've been saving that one for a bit.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    It's in ancient Sumerian! RUN!!!

    • emmelemm

      Gozar the Gozerian is coming!

    • SayItWithWookies

      It can't be — I heard Christine doesn't practice Cuneiform.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I think we really pissed her off this time; she's summoning Cthulhu.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Please – even Cthulhu won't touch her level of craziness.

    • johnedens

      I knew some Sumerians in Houston – great parties!

  • Respitetini

    Oh, wait. I see. Play it backwards and it's the first 140 characters of "Paranoid"

  • SorosBot


    • flamingpdog

      & A.

      • Radiotherapy┬«


        • tribbzthesquidz


          • tribbzthesquidz


    • Negropolis


  • DaRooster

    Looks pretty Middle Easterny…

  • DaRooster

    "What does this key do? Oh, neato… how about this one… kewl beans… this one…?"

  • prommie

    I got something she could use her tongue on. . . . .

  • inapewetrust

    oh, so THAT'S what's going on in her head all the time

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just a momentary slip of her tinfoil hat, and all these instructions from space start pouring ouf of the alien chip inside her head.

      I'm sure she's fine now, and back to making no sense whatsoever.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    They were her reboot instructions from Planet Flakey-O.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Craven mind and hairy lips
    Dollar signs on her finger tips
    Shrieking long into the night
    She’s a dumbass loser on an endless grift
    Wooo hooo witchy woman, see how
    Much she lies
    Woo hoo witchy woman she gone
    Done and ass texted herself

    • Thurman Munster IV

      I fucking hate the Eagles

      /s/ The Dude

  • jjdaddyo

    Relax, it's just one of her 43 cats has gotten hold of her iPhone…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      LOL, that's where all the campaign funds went: cat food, cat litter and an iPhone, which she bought at the full retail price.

    • comrad_darkness

      They aren't cats, they're familiars.

  • nappyduggs

    Holy Johnny 5, that is one hell of a short circuit, looks like!

  • OkieDokieDog

    Darn, where does one get a crazy bitch decoder ring?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It is the most sense she has ever made.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If she had used such sensible language during her campaign, she might've won.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I don't know. Some of that looks like it could be Russian. Could it be that she has been a commie sleeper all along, and that Putin has finally put her into action?

    • SorosBot

      Even worse, there's some upside-down question marks and exclamation points in there, as used in Spanish. Could she be a sekrit illegal Mexican?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Now, you know we don't care about the Commies! Say it looks like some kind of secret Mooslim speech, and you got something.

    • mumbly_joe

      Y'know, I floated this theory a while back, last year, here and here.

      Point being, it's pretty clear that, yes, the main point of Twitter is to be a numbers station for commie spies and O'Donnell is one there I said it.

  • BornInATrailer

    That is what happens when you drop your Magic Wand on your iPhone.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      She normally drops her magic wand on her bush.

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Hitachi not compatible with Apple. No app for that. Plus, if Christine could orgasm, we wouldn't be talking about any of this.

  • not that Dewey

    I am not an invalid ASCII code. I am you.

  • BornInATrailer

    A reading from the Necroneocon!

  • nappyduggs

    Honestly, what does it mean? ChristineOD is like a human crop circle.

  • Mumbletypeg

    Watch her accuse Twitter of sexual discrimination in 3…2..

  • OneYieldRegular

    Big deal. Linda Blair said the exact same thing in "The Exorcist."

    • MichelesPantalones

      Yes, but she was more comprehensible.

    • flamingpdog

      "Your mother suck Kochs in HELL!"

    • AJWjr.

      But at least she wasn't running for the Senate.

    • Geminisunmars

      Needz moar pea soup.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Twitter Libel!

  • Darklady

    I dunno. That's the most sense she's made in a long time, IMO.

  • HelmutNewton

    English translation: "Double, double toil and trouble! Fire burn, and caldron bubble! Those who are dumb enough to follow my Tweets, buy my book or I'll eat your feets!"

  • HistoriCat

    Makes as much sense as anything Michele Bachman says.

  • DrunkenPalmetto

    I buried Palin…I buried Palin

  • Mumbletypeg

    to be fair… tweep apnea medication has been known to have bizarre side effects such as tweeptalking..

    * I'm compelled to refer to it as tweeping = tweet + 'cheep'.. something about XO'D's expression makes me think of a young chicklet

  • FlownOver

    Jeez, doncha have a Rosetta stone?

    The translation is:

    When I look out my window,
    Many sights to see.
    And when I look in my window,
    So many different people to be
    That it's strange, so strange.
    You've got to pick up every stitch…

    • Dudleydidwrong

      She's in season?

      • not that Dewey

        Oh, no.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I'll take this to mean she finally got laid.

    • BarryOPotter

      I'll take this to mean she finally got laid.

      Or that she's got her fingers on the pulse…

  • flamingpdog

    That's a direct quote from one of Sarah Palin's testimonies at her church in Wasilla. Plagiarism can now be added to Xine's rap sheet!

  • weejee

    Was ist mit dem umlats Xtine? And lotsa phi, Φ. Fee, phi, fo, fum??? Or is it the mathsciences like angles, or fugacity, or potential. Naaa on that for sure.

    My guess it's what Xtine gets for texting while having a special moment with her phone in vibrate mode.

  • Mahousu

    Her Twitter account is Christine OD. Was this prophetic?

  • flamingpdog

    She twittered not too long ago that she was at Channel 9News studios in Denver. Mebbe this twitter is her allergic reaction to the lamestream media.

  • V572 T-Blow

    Well I scanned the image into Acrobat and OCRed it so could read it. It said it had detected Filipino (really!) and gave this "English" translation:

    fGQ YKN KIK I. …

    Happy to help!

    • emmelemm

      Gibberish in, gibberish out.

      • mumbly_joe

        So, an excerpt of Xtine's book, in other words?

    • SheriffRoscoe

      I gotta get me one of those translator thingies.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I asked my Filipino friends if I could join them at the Filipino Culture Night at the community center but they wouldn't let me tag alog.

      • flamingpdog

        Been saving that one up for just the right moment?

      • V572 T-Blow

        Haw! Haw!

      • Doktor Zoom

        With knowledge like that, you'd never Luzon "Jeopardy."

  • flamingpdog

    CrankTango does foreign language translation. Where are you when we need you, dude?

  • Maman

    Quick! Does anyone speak Idiot?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I used to, and then I left the Republican party.

    • flamingpdog

      "Excuse me stewardess, but I speak Idiot."

      • Maman

        OMFG that was exactly what I was thinking of….

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Hmmm, how does she like her coffee?

  • Pragmatist2

    It is Witches Code and it is about masturbation.

    • sunmusing

      Maybe if'n she twiddled a little twixt her legs…………… we get a little less of an unseemly discharge.

  • Schmannnity

    Butt twitter

  • mavenmaven

    Its an ancient spell used to attract media attention, and look! It worked!

  • Dudleydidwrong

    After a really careful look I think that she tweeted her pharmacy that she was out of KY lube. The last line clearly reads:

    "KY is empty and the friction is too hot. Please send new supply immediately."

  • MinAgain

    I believe that's actually Klingon, but her accent is terrible.

  • ArmoredLibunatic

    Has she gone grimdark?

    • mumbly_joe

      Upfisted for Homestuck. Being on a month-long hiatus, Wonkete is down to my only internet addiction at the moment. There's a couple of fans other floating around here, too (NEEEEERDS!!!)

  • SheriffRoscoe

    The link doesn't seem to work anymore. And I'm damned to hell for having tried it.

  • Steverino247

    I am the Walrus!

  • DahBoner

    Is that a Twitter in your pocket or is all of your communication equally incomprehensible???

  • BarackMyWorld

    Twitter followers are just rude for expecting actual words in her posts. That's not what she agreed to tweet about.

  • johnnyzhivago

    OT – but the Zhivago Bunker/Compound just returned to "the Grid" – after 3 days without power here in Western Uflarkistan (I mean New Jersey). Three days of kids (off from school) screaming for cable TV and Internet access (their smartphones not enough to provide entertainment). Your faithful commenter faithfully manned the generator, just like they did in Baghdad. We saved lots on our electric bill this month – offset by $20 a day in gasoline to power the generator.

    Mrs. Zhivago on a business trip, youngest off to reeducation at a neighbors house (that has power), the oldest and I shall be sitting down to one more meal of hot dogs and hobo beans, as we rehearse for the future post apocalypic world that is coming soon!!!!

    Dignity Indeed!!!!

  • MissTaken

    First, who the fuck are these 100+ people who retweeted this?

    Second, I like the … at the end. It really sums up the tweet nicely.

    • mumbly_joe

      Wait, I've seen this movie before. If you get this tweet, then in seven days Christine O'Donnell's pudenda comes out of the computer screen and you die, unless you retweet it to someone else, first. It adds that extra touch of personal horror to the story, you see.

      • MissTaken

        I fisted your pudenda

        • mumbly_joe


        • James Michael Curley

          This is what is great about Wonkette. At my advanced age, only here do I learn new legitimate words for female parts. And I have owned several females over the years but their pudenda never needed changing.

          • Bonzos_Bed_Time

            Really, owned? I just rent mine.

          • James Michael Curley

            I tried leasing but it was high maintenance, the finance fees were outrageous and they really soak you if you return them with high mileage.

        • sunmusing

          Maybe Christine could use a little fisting of her pudenda. It could shut her up……….or not.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Would you like a cup of glossolalia to accompany your eschatology and wash down that soteriology?

  • Crank_Tango

    I'd still hit that.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      With a broom?

    • Negropolis

      With what?

  • Tundra Grifter

    I don't think The Lord of the Rings was supposed to be taken seriously.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Wow…just wow. Too bad I'm out of Pud of Newt or I'd give that demonic recipe a spin.

  • Guppy06

    She came.

  • Serolf_Divad

    According to my secret decoder ring it says: "Actually, guys, I am a witch."

  • raygotaway

    Is she the key master?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Hard-drive failure?

  • Come here a minute

    Oh thanks, Wonkett, now we're all cursed.

  • Nothingisamiss

    We are out of muffins.

  • Beowoof

    I see she has been watching the current season of True Blood and she thinks its a documentary.

  • poncho_pilot

    do it.

  • SwanSwanH

    What else floats in water?

    • littlebigdaddy

      very small stones

  • DerrickWildcat

    She might be in trouble!

  • comrad_darkness

    It's Parseltongue!

  • mush2


  • ShaveTheWhales

    I believe this require a one-time Maxi-pad for decoding.

  • MiniMencken

    !lleH ni skcoc skcus rehtom ruoY.

  • Negropolis

    It's a spell! We've been bewitched! Quick, what's the counterspell?

    I know that Delawarean's have an accent, but this is straight up, authentic Delmarvan Gibberish.

  • gurukalehuru

    That first character is obviously a butthole.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      A cleft butthole, to be precise.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    She was just capturing the collective gurgle of the American voter as the implications of the available candidates for 2012 have sunk in….

  • Jeffer

    That's what happens when you try to type using only one hand.

  • Redhead

    "Speaking in tongues" is not a legitimate excuse for being an incomprehensible idiot.

  • user-of-owls

    An accent aigu here, a tilde there…no harm done. But you start throwing down with the umlauts, baby, and someone gonna bleed bad.

  • Sharkey

    Oh no, somebody has put her in the Animus! She's becoming an Assassin Witch!

  • SilverTsunami

    Christine, I've told you, never do this incantation during a new moon. When will you learn?

  • danny6114

    O'Dumbbell is using an ancient curse on Palin for getting her booted from the Iowa shindig, or, she's praying to the witch gods for better book sales.

  • Barrelhse

    I digitized it and played it back as audio. It's a fart.
    (a dripper, btw).

  • ttommyunger

    Not to admit their ignorance, flummoxed Teabaggers retweeted en mass.