grifter farm team

Five Brave Souls Attend Christine O’Donnell Book Signing In Florida

maybe try a spot with the community grifter's little league?Nimrod second-tier grifter Christine O’Donnell is trying desperately to sell her dumb book about how to knit homemade dildos Xtine’s Tea Party expertise, which ranks somewhere below the sequence of random numbers and letters in a license plate database for its contribution to policy. A crowd of four teabaggers showed up to her book signing in Naples, Florida to meet her, plus one guy who asked her to sign a copy of his devil worship handbook, which she refused to do. (Haha, we like this guy.) 2012 preseason grifter tryouts are coming to a close, and we don’t see her making the cut. Maybe it’s time to just go back to selling vibrators and sorcery manuals on Amazon, Christine?

From the Florida News-Press:

O’Donnell took the turnout of five people — members of the media outnumbered customers — at Barnes & Noble in stride.

“God bless you, Tom,” she told Tom Bruzzesi of Fort Myers, who said he’s launching his own presidential campaign.

“I like her,” Bruzzesi said. “She’s kind of a rogue like me.”

“Thank you for coming out today,” O’Donnell said to Louise Campo of Naples.

“She interests me. She’s very conservative,” Campo said.

O’Donnell, a Christian, then politely turned down a request from a young man who asked her to sign his book on demonology instead of a copy of her book.

Christine is supposedly also slated to perform at one of Sarah Palin’s Tea Party circle jerks in Iowa, but, uh, this guy on Twitter reports that organizers say that was all just a big mistake because even Sarah Palin fans somehow cannot tolerate this weirdo. Back to the minor leagues, amateur! [Florida News-Press]

Comments

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  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    I don't know, Kirsten.

    I'm guessing Xtine knows more about teabagging than she lets on.
    ~

    • genxr

      Still technically a virgin…

      • MichelesPantalones

        Not according to her neighbours who say she's been raising the roof ever since she met Puddin'Cup.

        • genxr

          Good lord, that's an image I didn't need. I hope he at least wears a pith helmet.

          • MichelesPantalones

            You don't lisp, by any chance, do you?

  • Jughead2130

    Who is she again?

    • iburl

      On Samantha's father's side of the family is her far-out, egocentric lookalike cousin Christine. Christine is the antithesis of Samantha, in most episodes sporting a beauty mark on her cheek, raven-black cropped hair, and mod mini-skirts. Ever mischievous, Christine often chases after Darrin and Larry Tate (calling the white-haired Tate "Cotton-Top"), just for sport. More progressive than typical witches or warlocks, who generally abhor mortals, Samantha's counter-culture cousin occasionally dates some (including characters played by Jack Cassidy and Peter Lawford). Despite her wild behavior and frequent co-plotting with Endora, Christine ultimately supports Samantha and Darrin, even though she finds them both a bit "square."

      • AJWjr.

        Cotton Top, or Cotton Mather?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Jack Cassidy had a guest gig on Bewitched?

  • memzilla

    What could be sadder than a Sarah Palin wannabe? A failed Sarah Palin wannabe.

    • MissusBarry

      Doesn't being a Sarah Palin wannabe, by its very nature, involve tons o' fail?

      • SorosBot

        It means one as a failure at life, for a start.

      • genxr

        "Failing to Fail. Memoir of a Palin Wannabe."

    • freakishlywrong

      I don't know about failed. All those campaign donations sure have been paying the rent.

      • memzilla

        Xtine's munniez are too small…. unlike Sarah "Continental Grift" Palin.

      • Negropolis

        Sarah grifts for luxeries. Christine is literally grifting to survive. That's failed grifiting in my book.

    • An_Outhouse

      Did she quit something yet?

      • GOPCrusher

        She quit being a witch.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    a young man who asked her to sign his book on demonology

    O.K. which one of you Wonketteers from America's wang was it?
    ~

    • genxr

      Nah, a wonketteer would have brought a book on hedge trimming.

      • Terry

        and a set of TruckNutz as a gift.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “She interests me. She’s very conservative, and a hairy bush is a real turn-on for me,” Campo said.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya
    • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

      As they say in Mexico, if there is grass on the campo, play ball…

    • Flat_Earther

      God gave her that big bush. I gather it speaks to you like Moses.

  • capnhuggyface

    nice picture Jim Anchower

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The resemblance is uncanny. Almost like it was on purpose.

    • PuckStopsHere

      It's been a long time since Jim's rapped at us, but I'm sure he's knee-deep in the hoopla…

  • subsum

    I'd hit that.

    • elviouslyqueer

      With a shovel, pickaxe, or 9-iron?

      • SexySmurf

        Weed Whacker?

      • DaRooster

        All of 'em, Katie!

      • PuckStopsHere

        How far are you from the green?

    • CapnFatback

      It appears that you already have.

    • MichelesPantalones

      I'm sure you would. Just remember to keep within the technical limits of "assault and battery."

    • Negropolis

      I wouldn't hit that bitch with a 10-point Rasumussen poll.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    O'Donnell:Palin::Herman's Hermits:Beatles

    • Arken

      McCain considers Palin to be more of a Yoko.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Why do you hate the Beatles?

  • metamarcisf

    I agree with her. Evolution is a myth. Why aren't people still evolving into witches?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Organizer 2: "We received emails from a lot of folks that were very disappointed that she would be speaking… we decided to not have her.

    MEOW. Jesus H., Palinistas. Catty jealous bitches much?

    • Sue4466

      So why doesn't this same email democracy rule make Sarah go away?

    • fuflans

      disappointed why? she'd declass a palin appearance?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The dis-invitation of Xtine by the Sarah camp is all about fundamental differences between the two in some very important national policy points.

      Sara suspects Xtine may be younger and prettier than her.

      • Terry

        Bristol suspects that Xtine may be prettier than her, too.

        • AJWjr.

          Face it: Brisket in a gorilla suit is prettier than without.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Grizzly see, Grizzly do.

  • DaRooster

    Tom Bruzzesi 2012… "Not As Bad As Most Repugnants!"

  • Come here a minute

    Joke's on you, lame stream media! There were massive crowds, all wearing invisibility cloaks.

    • fuflans

      well 'massive' is no doubt correct.

    • AJWjr.

      She cast a spell of invisibility on them!

    • Negropolis

      It's only a matter of time before Christine comes out with an Invisible Hand vibrator.

  • SorosBot

    What shocks me is that some publisher actually thought people would buy O'Donnel's book, long after her fifteen minutes have ended.

    • freakishlywrong

      They were counting on the bulk purchases from the "think tanks".

      • SorosBot

        True; she'll probably still make a profit, and then the wingnut sites will have ads giving away a free copy of the book for subscribing to whatever.

      • superdave

        It's wingnut welfare. That's how folks like Ann Coulter pay the bills.

    • MichelesPantalones

      You don't know how this works. First Regnery (or some other RWNJ imprint) gives the RWNJ a "contract." (This includes the paid ghostwriter, etc.) Then the imprint talks to all the RWNJ orgs out there. Each of these orgs then places an order for a certain number of "books." The publisher sells these to them at a deep discount, then writes off the ensuing loss on their taxes. The buyers "give" these books free or at a reduced rate with a membership fee, and write off any ensuing loss on *their* taxes. Win-win all around. Except, of course, for the taxpayers.

  • Weenus299

    Why waste a snied comment on that thing-with-the-randy-and-ready-snatch.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Someone should have brought a weedwhacker for her to sign.

  • SexySmurf

    "I'm not a rouge. I'm not popular. I'm not even really an author. I'm you. Seriously, if you wrote a book only four people would show up to the signing."

    • LesBontemps

      My only regret is that I have but one upfist to give for this comment.

  • Pragmatist2

    But it takes 13 to make a Coven!

    • DashboardBuddha

      She can put on weight

  • freakishlywrong

    She's not a witch, she's…(holy shit)..all four of them.

  • DaRooster

    Fewer than at Brist holes signing? Now that's pretty bad… tomorrow's headline-
    "Christine O'Donnell Reverts Back to Witchcraft"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      No, I doubt there will be any headline at all, tomorrow. Not about her.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Ha ha..how's that hand of the free market thingy going for you? Needs more eye of newt or toad stools…

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Knitted dildo cosies, on the other hand… you just might be onto something, Kirsten…

  • metamarcisf

    I wish I could be there. Word has it that Sarah Palin will speak about freedom.

    • freakishlywrong

      No one knows more about freeing the yokels from their money than our grifterbilly!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Eric Golub is slated for entertainment. Eric, the most talentless Jew in New York and Hollywood.

        With greasy hands smelling of hot dogs, he pawed at Todd, whimpering for acceptance.

        “Mr. Palin, I am a conservative comedian and I actually tell pro-Palin jokes in my speeches. May I quickly tell you one.”

        He gave permission, so I served up my best.

        “I like Sarah Palin, but I can’t stand her position on traditional marriage. I think it’s awful. What I mean by that is I can’t stand the fact that she is married to somebody who is not me.”

        He laughed, and out of nowhere she turned around. She liked the joke. She gave me a hug and I asked if I may take a picture with her.
        http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborho

        • Gleem_McShineys

          Dear Penthouse Washington Times

          I'd always thought these letters were fakes, but then one day, it happened to me.

        • MichelesPantalones

          ZOMG, that pathetic little sleaze is wetting his pants in public for her. This is almost worse than Rich Lowry's "starbursts."

          Also, Scarah's looking awfully thick-necked in that picture, with her popping tendons and wrinkles.

  • FannyBurney

    Next stop on the autograph tour: The Dollar Tree.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Hey! Some folks are lucky just to be gettin' a Dollar Store!..

      as the article quotes the store owner at the end (probably was stated without a trace of irony): "I don't know anybody who doesn't want to go to a dollar store."

      • elviouslyqueer

        "On this side of the town, it's the hub of the shopping," she said.

        This here is so so very sad. Bless Hixson's heart.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I unironically heart the dollar store. I go through a shitload of small items at my hotel, which I'd rather be replacing at $1 apiece than some arbitrary grocery store price. When I took over this place, it was all stocked with pretty quality stuff, which I noticed took no time at all disappearing.

        Wineglasses, waterglasses, plates, bowls, corkscrews, kitchen knives and utensils. All stuff that gets lost/stolen/broken on a continual basis in the innkeeping biz.

        Oh, and bleach pens for the laundry department. Those things work great.

        I heart the dollar store. Ikea too, also.

    • PuckStopsHere

      Betcha they go three or four for a dollar.

      • MichelesPantalones

        The Palins? Surely not!

    • jus_wonderin

      Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at Dollar Palace because it is convenient and casual.

      "I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something," she said…..

      • MichelesPantalones

        Sweet Christ on a crutch! Has she seen this?

        Warning: Links to PeopleofWalMart. Not safe for humans.

  • Trannysurprise

    You know you're a loser when even the tea baggers think you're a loser.

    I mean, they will love any nutbag sack of clown vomit as long as it hates the poors and browns as much as they do.

  • HelmutNewton

    “I like her,” Bruzzesi said. “She’s kind of a rogue like me.”

    "Plus", he added, "I'm an avid gardener. My favorite hobby is trimming bushes".

    • Arken

      Going to a book signing in a Barnes & Noble is as rogueish as you can get!

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      rogue |rōg|
      noun
      1 a dishonest or unprincipled man : you are a rogue and an embezzler.
      2 [usu. as adj. ] an elephant or other large wild animal driven away or living apart from the herd and having savage or destructive tendencies : a rogue elephant.
      • a person or thing that behaves in an aberrant, faulty, or unpredictable way : he hacked into data and ran rogue programs.
      • an inferior or defective specimen among many satisfactory ones, esp. a seedling or plant deviating from the standard variety.

      • SorosBot

        3 A member of the X-Men with the power to drain the life from everything she touches.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Like watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks on acid. Except for the fun hallucinations.

  • Wilcoxyz

    That's so bush league.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "She's kind of a rogue like me" – the lost last line of that Pussycat Dolls' song.

    • DahBoner

      She's not a witch, she's a rogue, just like you are….

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Still more people than a Marlins Game, but still.

  • Barb

    “I like her,” Bruzzesi said. “She’s kind of a rogue like me.”
    I saw your picture, Bruzzesi. You're more "Rogaine" than "rogue"

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me!

  • prommie

    I've got something for her to sign. She may have to stroke it a bit to make room for her full name. . . .

    • FakaktaSouth

      If she can write, I AM NOT A WITCH, LOVE CHRISTINE O'DONNELL, I will give you my number…I am just glad there were no prom night dumpster babies floating down the flooded streets this weekend. I did keep checking to see if there might be a naked dude with PROMMIE written on his chest a la the Oscar man, but this time I would know the secret…Alas, I will simply be happy you did not drown in a bar basement. Okay, carry on.

      • prommie

        Depending on the font size, it could work. . . .

        I intend to drown sitting right at the bar, not in some basement.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Well ya know what they say, it's not the size of your font, but the slant of your italics…
          Honestly, I didn't even know bars HAD basements til I saw some poor owner in Jersey open the door to his, which was under at least 12 feet of what looked like a decade's worth of sludge and sewage. Really gross, but informative. Thanks weather channel!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Four people. That's pretty pathetic. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

  • prommie

    Kirsten, you nimble wielder of Time-speak, your descriptive honorifics shine.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    a book on demonology. The Bible?

  • Radiotherapy®

    I'm not a washed up, has been.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Never were.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        Couldn't Was

    • MichelesPantalones

      Can't haz.

    • DahBoner

      "I'm not a washed up, has been."

      I'm a rogue, just like you are…

  • Mahousu

    It's brunette discrimination, I'm telling you.

    Christine does perform a useful public service, though, in refuting all those smart brunette stereotypes.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Q: What do you call it when a blonde changes her hair color to brunette?

      A: Artificial Intelligence

  • LesBontemps

    Nimrod second-tier grifter

    I prefer "Lonely Bluehen masturbation witch."

  • baconzgood

    I find this difficult to masterbate to.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      That simply means you are not trying hard enough. C'mon, we have standards here, don't drag us down merely because you lack initiative.

    • DahBoner

      I'm having an organism that shows an undesirable variation from a standard…

    • Nostrildamus

      "Masturbation" isn't the same without U.

  • MinAgain

    Seven more people, and she'll have a coven.

    • DahBoner

      " She'll have a coven."

      How many teacups will her coven hold?

  • Oblios_Cap

    She's way too stupid, even for Deleware. She'd probably have a lot more success if she were to relocate to Texas, Oklahoma, or maybe Arizona.

    • yyyaz

      She isn't even a second-stringer here in the Grand Canyon state. See, e.g., Sedona, Colorado City, Mesa, Yuma, Kingman, etc.

    • jus_wonderin

      Here in Texas we have a opening for a brush/bush clearer.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Surely, there was still room left even on her ample welcome mat for a sixth guest.

  • fuflans

    and somehow the musings of 'louise campo of naples' are considered news.

    • AJWjr.

      I've seen that name in comments at NYTimes.

  • MrFizzy

    I saw a youtube vid of O'Donnell dipping her tail into an inkwell to sign the books.

  • baconzgood
  • mavenmaven

    If she was invited to speak at a Wonkette convention there would be an excellent turnout.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Yes. Because the Wonkerati are horrible, horrible people who would delight and enjoy to torment this hapless bitch.

  • SayItWithWookies

    There are few things sadder than a failed masturbator.

    • proudgrampa

      My grandchildren are too young to manage sharp fish hooks.

      So when I take them fishing, I am the one who ends up baiting their lines.

      So, that makes me, (wait for it): The Master Baiter!!!

      I know. I'm sorry.

      • MissusBarry

        I wish Al's Bait & Porn back home had a web site.

  • FannyBurney

    You know, if she'd included a free pair of hedge-trimmers with the book, there might have been a better turn-out.

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    Tonight her lone fan will meet her in Lone Tree, CO:
    8/30/11 7:00 PM
    Barnes & Noble
    South Willow Street
    Lone Tree, CO.
    Please go and take pictures!

    • flamingpdog

      Dude, is this for reals?? I am SO there tonight!

  • Eve8Apples

    She could have at least quadrupled the crowd size by offerering lap dances instead of signatures.

  • krazyvladimir

    Here's a new game, go to http://www.bruzzesiforpres.com/ and see how many misspellings you can find in the first minute…… how was no one paying attention to this guy before ?????? I was thinking of voting for Palin/Bachman ticket in the republican primary, but it looks like it will be this guy and O'Donnell

    • CapnFatback

      I, Thomas James Bruzzesi, was born on May 4, 1964 to Joseph and Dorothy Bruzzesi, the youngest of 3 children with the oldest being Joseph and Tami Ann Bruzzesi.

      HIS ELDEST SIBLING IS SIAMESE TWINS!!!!1!

      • krazyvladimir

        I actually like it how he worries about our "boarders" …….. and he is right….. if only we were getting good rent income from them……

      • krazyvladimir

        Jokes aside, you will not find any misspellings on his events calendar.

    • SorosBot

      I like how the text automatically shifts between his autobiography, "our government today" comment, "leadership" comment, and blog, making it tricky to finish reading any of them.

      • Troglodeity

        I like how the guy talks about O'Donnell like, if she plays her cards right, he just might give her a shot to be his V.P. candidate.

      • MichelesPantalones

        It doesn't help that his eyes look like a cross between Michele's and serial killer Ted Bundy's.

    • AlaskaGrrl

      He has a problem with understanding the concept of paragraphs too. At least he stayed away from cap locks.

    • Redhead

      It will be this guy and O'Donnell after Palin quits the original Palin/O'Donnell ticket halfway through the campaign.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      He promises to reform the Fedral tax code. That's nice, but some Federal tax reform would be more helpful.

    • http://www.deathwishcreeps.com/about/ Comrade Wingtard

      My God that is classic!

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      I noticed that he was refused by the military because of his "cerebral shunt." WTF is a cerebral shunt and do other Republican candidates have them as well?

  • metamarcisf

    Although O'Donnell's Iowa gig has been canceled, she has been snapped up as the Keynote Speaker at a California gathering of Carpet Munchers of America (CMA).

    • genxr

      It's shag week! The 70s are back, baby!

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    Those guys only showed up for some fresh fapping material for their brains.

  • thefrontpage

    At O'Donnell's appearance in Halloweentown, Indiana, the other night, attendance was a little better. Among the local celebrities who showed up to socialize and get O'Donnell's autograph were Aleister Crowley, Damian Thorn, Norm Bates, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, William Peter Blatty, Alice Cooper, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, a local camp owner who only goes by the name of "Jason," and a 12-year-old girl who only gave her name as "Megan."

    • Angry_Marmot

      That makes my head spin.

  • hollywooddood

    Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, that's not enough to pay the rent. Shit, Christine!

  • DaRooster

    Man, that picture looks waaayy too much like my ex… and now there is spit all over my monitor… stoopid Christine!

  • ttommyunger

    I might show up with a Magic Marker and ask her to sign my palm. That's the only way I could fap to her.

    • MichelesPantalones

      You promised you'd make her sign your dick. Or maybe that was Bristle Palin?

      • ttommyunger

        Four letters, begins with “S”, but not sign.

        • MichelesPantalones

          Slut.

          No, no, I mean *you're* a slut. But you knew that.

          • ttommyunger

            Guilty, yo Honah!

  • fuflans

    this is off topic but is anyone else wondering when all the coverage of fema running out of money will include 'gov't programs that baggers won't fund'?

    • MichelesPantalones

      Can't we finish bashing Christine before we have to think about serious stuff and all?

  • fawkdifiknow

    It may have only been five people, but it was 100% of the literate members of the Teabag Revolution. Yea, Xtine!

  • Guppy06

    “She’s kind of a rogue like me.”

    And that's her failure: everyone knows that "rogue" is a cheap knock-off of the "Maverick" brand.

  • Troglodeity

    Wouldn't you just love to be the reporter assigned to that Breaking News Event? Carefully transcribing such earthshaking quotes as: "Thank you for coming out today."

  • proudgrampa

    I'm surprised. O'Donnell seems like such a nice person on the TV, especially in those White House press conferences and whew, she's got nice legs and… What? Oh… Never mind.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    “I like her,” Bruzzesi said. “She’s kind of a rogue like me.”

    Birds of a feather…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Yeah but the awesome part? All five got to fuck her.

  • MissTaken

    WOW! 5 people showed up to her signing? That's 8 more than I expected.

  • Redhead

    "O’Donnell, a Christian, then politely turned down a request from a young man who asked her to sign his book on demonology instead of a copy of her book."

    So… four lesbian witches out to cast spells on O'Donnell with their lesbianness… and one Wonketteer?

  • MissTaken

    Just how many Hello Kitty vibrators does it take to make one's eyes do that?

    • genxr

      It does look like she bought all of the items Amazon recommended for her.

  • SilverTsunami

    To vote for Xtine, text 666. the phone lines will be open for at least two more hours.

  • genxr

    If we ask her a question about her book, will she please go away?

  • OneYieldRegular

    I'd think I'd feel a bit slighted by this reporter were I one of the only two people at the signing who didn't get mentioned in the article.

  • proudgrampa

    Not that I particularly feel sorry for her, but that really has to be the epitome (nadir?) of mortification. I'll bet I could get more than 5 people together for a signing of my monograph, "How to be a Good Wonketteer."

    Coming to a Barnes and Noble near you!

  • metamarcisf

    Headline of the day (Breitbart):

    "Disgraced ‘Wonkette’ Busted Putting Racist Words in Bachmann’s Mouth"

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Hahaha! Breitbart! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • genxr

      Wait– Who put what in Marcus' mouth???

      • elviouslyqueer

        Is this like a MadLib? *joy*

        I'll go with "Andy Breitbart" and "rancid raccoon poop."

    • MichelesPantalones

      Andrew NotSoBrightBart has no room to talk about anyone else's being "busted" or a "disgrace."

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Next Christine will have her collection of stuffed animals gathered around her during public appearances. So sad.

  • flamingpdog

    Don't buy books by schnooks!

  • http://www.wonkette.com sunmusing

    How can you NOT tea bag a face like that.

    • DahBoner

      That's a triple bagger, just to make sure…

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Christine still has that magic something.

  • Beowoof

    Hard to imagine that 5 people who can read would actually buy her book. Is she even getting Joe the Dumber numbers?

  • http://www.deathwishcreeps.com/about/ Comrade Wingtard

    Bruzzesi's "autobiography" before his handlers revised it:

    Say bruh, I was born inFortLee 1964 and my parents was Joseph and Dorothy. My brothers are Joseph and Tami Ann. When I was 5 my daddy bought me a camaro and that was a huge mistake. I got into a accident in the driveway and then they put all these pipes and shit inside my head. They also took grafts from my ass area and grafted them to my head. Shit was serious, bra. I was legally dead for like 5 minutes then I woke up. When I was in high school I wanted to join the Mareens but they would take cuz of the pipe sitcking out of my fuckin neck. I married my friend Gina and I got into construction and we had a son but then got divorced almost exactly one year later and I still got this fuckin thing stickin out my fuckin neck.

  • MiniMencken

    I have a copy of Thomas Wolfe's "You Can't Go Home Again" that I got signed by New Journalism giant Tom Wolfe. Unlike Xtine, Tom has a sense of humor.

  • owhatever

    Ann Coulter have started the book with .. "I am not a fucking witch, you liberal Obama asskissers. I'm worse. Much, much worse. I'm a demon, and I'm going to rip your eyes out and grill them with some tarragon and chives, just like I did with the missing Clinton child."

    That would sell.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "Thank you for coming out today." Ms. Campos, who had never publicly identified her lesbianism, was shocked. "I only wanted to put my tongue in her ear."

  • widget2011

    C_NT, all that's missing is you, (Christ)ine.

  • comrad_darkness

    Oh please tell me she took a HUGE advance. Please?

  • comrad_darkness

    I know what she needs: fake glasses like Sarah Palin wears.

    • DahBoner

      These glasses make me look….smart!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "These are the new leads. These are the Teabagger leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers."

    • http://www.deathwishcreeps.com/about/ Comrade Wingtard

      You talk that shit to me? ON MY VOLUME? FUCK YOU!

  • http://www.deathwishcreeps.com/about/ Comrade Wingtard

    Everyone should watch the Christine O'Donnel / Tommy Bruzzesi interview here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

    You can see they're already 20% off, and she even hired a Pinkerton/Wackenhut guy to watch over this mess …

  • http://robcypher.blogspot.com robcypher

    Maybe she could marry Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow if this "politics" thing doesn't work out for her too much longer. They have a lot of stuff in common, and they could even lose their virginity to each other after the wedding!

  • Warpde

    Can't believe she would discourage that fifth vote for "President O’Donnell".

  • Nostrildamus

    2012: Watch for Olympians Christine and Sarah competing the the snatch and jerk,

  • Negropolis

    O’Donnell, a Christian

    She's about as much of a Christian as I am an editor at the Washington Times. I love how they are able to mention nearly every one of her handful of guests by name.

    Christine, you're no Sarah Palin, that's for damned sure. And, in a very twisted way, that's kind of a good thing, though, you have plenty of other unique and special faults of your own to make-up for your lack of grifiting skills.

  • MichelesPantalones

    If they did, there *would* be crowds showing up.