Drooling pill addict Michele Bachmann continues to blurt clownish things so that YouTube will have more joke clips. What now?
Oh just something super funny about Hurricane Irene, and God, and how God punishes America and kills 40 innocent Americans with His Storm because Michele Bachmann needs a “topical angle” for her usual campaign speech about the poor stealing a few dollars that the billionaires dropped somewhere. [YouTube/Chicago Tribune]
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As Chillwaver pointed out in the earlier post, what does Miche1e think was the message of Katrina?
not to mention the texas heat wave.
Well it can't be that God hates the gay, because the French Quarter survived Katrina almost totally unscathed.
I'm pretty sure most wingnut-americans are convinced that it's because The Gays. Or, alternatively, because the Catholics. I always thought it was weird that you see all these wingnuts protesting in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras, and it's never about the drunkenness or the debauchery or the boobies, but rather, that Mardi Gras celebrations are a Catholic festival full of Catholics, who are the devil.
(PROTIP, wingnuts: Most people boozing and flashing boobies and hooking up during Mardi Gras? Not actually Catholic. Even the ones who are, are, shall we say, not especially observant.)
Splitters!
Thanks for pointing that out. Catholics are only useful to these people when they want an ally in the abortion debate.
That you can fulfill your Compassionate Conservative creds by "surveying" a disaster area at 40,000 feet with crocodile tears in your eyes?
I didn't notice any tears.
It must be your youth or sweetness of nature that actually leads you to believe that dim twat ever thinks.
George Bush doesn't care about black people?
God likes wet white people?
All these idiot candidates, god sends a message, yet no one listens and they will still nominate a retard.
i don't know where shelley is, but i look forward to our lizzie bitch slapping the shit out of her.
As a gay, I think I can speak for us all when I say SHUT THE FUCK UP! Hurricanes are ours. If we stop getting blamed for those, where will it end? All we'll have left is our jihads of witty mockery and google bombing stupid fucking bigoted senators from PA.
And earthquakes are because of ladies with their boobies hanging out.
Err, not that our stateside fundies are exactly the same as the theocratic zealots in the Islamic Republic of Iran, of course. After all, those guys are brown, and call their god some other name (that translates into English as "God"). So, totally different.
There's our glitter. We will always have that.
Princess Sparkle Pony, is that YOU?
Hell, I don't hear no straight people asking you not to speak for them either.
What about your barbarian hordes attacking Marcus Bachmann's "clinic"? Won't you still have those?
What about the hot, sweaty monkey sex? From what I hear, you've got that going for you, which is nice ;)
funny…i thought God was telling us he wanted Michele Bachmann as a human sacrifice. stop sharpening that ritual disemboweling knife, Steve. maybe next time.
He tells *me* that all the damn time. I quit listening to him because I found out he was canoodling with Michele and Rick DinglePerry behind my back.
But notice, the Earthquake and Hurricane were unleashed upon the country only after Perry announced his entry into the presidential race thing.Are you listening Michele?
I heard that Michele Bachmann likes white poop
Wouldn't that make her batshit crazy?
Now you've guano too far.
Night of the–Ick!–guano?
Really. Some people just have no sense of when to stop flogging a meme that is already over-dung.
Yes, all of them, Katie.
This meme is the shit!
Shitler?
It's poopies! Soylent Green is made of POOPIES!!!!
(This post, like Soylent Green, contains 98% recycled content)
Nah, when Marcus gets frustrated he drinks and goes on a paint-eating binge.
Eating lead paint chips would explain a lot about Michele and Marcus.
Jim Newell, always handy with a good poop joke.
Poop jokes are Wonkette nunchucks.
White rock
Newell! And Layne! And poop jokes!!
This is just Wonkette Classic, this here.
God is not a spiteful Republican.
(and She certainly would have better aim)
I love how the same party that claims to have such a lock on God is also the party of the most meanspirited fucks ever.
Too bad the video cut out before the punchline, when she added, "it's funny 'cause it's true."
I was sure the punchline is "It's funny because some of the people killed were nee-grahs!"
That's definitely more her style.
Maybe an act of god will make her realize she's married to a gay man.
or an act of Todd. or Rod.
I think Marcus would enjoy Todd or Rod more than Michelle.
I think Marcus has spent plenty of quality time with Todd's rod.
Or perhaps Richard, frequent dinner guest and friend-of-
Marcus-the family who always brings flowers and compliments her on her hair.An act against God more like.
last time i checked michele you were in washington too.
maybe god wanted to wipe out the baggers. i know i do.
…and she reminded Floridians about being responsible for W?
Jesus, this bitch is so stupid. She's saying anything that comes to her empty head while her husband is gargling semen.
Hey, don't diss the noble work that Marcus does. He literally sucks the gay right out of these confused young men.
No deaths in DC, six in North Carolina, seven in New Jersey.
WHY AREN'T NORTH CAROLINA AND NEW JERSEY GETTING GOD'S MESSAGE AND STOPPING WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING TO BRING DOWN HIS WRATH??????
chris christie inhaled several meat tornadoes on his own, fwiw
Is it my imagination, or is that fat fuck gaining 50 lbs. a day?, It's kind of like the chicken heart that ate New York City.If "Mike" from Mike & Molly dies of a massive heart attack, Christy is a shoe in.
God hates Carolina BBQ and Jersey Shore.
Correction: God hates Duke and Jersey Shore. I don't think God can get that worked up about Carolina BBQ.
It's my understanding that it is not kosher to put cole slaw on top of pulled pork within a sandwich. I think Jah would have a strong opinion about that, Mr. McGruff.
I'm sorry, I'm not an expert on Kosher Pork. I just know that Duke sucks, which is why the hurricanes head for NC.
Extra hush-puppies and plenty of PBR are an offset
I pointed this out before: much of the damage (flooding) in NJ is in the suburbs, which are mostly white and Republican. They're also the people who voted in Chris Christie. It appears on the other hand, godless Greenwich Village in the city was unharmed; although I suppose the nightlife was particularly poor Saturday night.
But enough of stupid facts, if you told this to Bachmann she'd understand it as about as well as my gold fish.
My new pet, Darth Betta (Dark Lord of the Fisssh), is a far more ethical creature than Michele Bachmann.
Cuter, too. And far more pleasant to be in a room with.
I hope you memorialized Flushy properly, by using his name as your online banking password.
Because that would entail getting rid of Chris Chrispy and Nikki Haley.
God clearly hates states beginning with the letter "N", but even God can't be bothered to visit North Dakota, so it gets a pass.
And he confused Vermont and New Hampshire–I do that all the time and Nevada and New Mexico, uh? New York something happened there too, I think?
White peoples sure are chuckling at that funny One L Michele. Can't wait until she comes to a comedy club near me. Or better yet – gets an HBO special!
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Apparently God is not a fan of cheesesteaks. Fuck You, God.
Crap, I made cheesteaks for dinner and now I have to suffer the wrath of God. *sigh*
Whiz wit? God really hates those for some damn reason.
You know you could take TUMS® for that, right?
Cheesesteak: The Wrath of God is my favorite Herzog film.
That reminds me of my favorite meditation on the grotesque madness of it all.
Dubya libel!
I once had a bagger tell me on a message board that the Raft of God was going to come down on me for my pro-choice views. Maybe that term is appropriate for hurricane weather.
Hasa Diga Eebowai!
Lo, then did the Lord's wrath wax mightily once more and He did smite them with a plague of Bachmanns…
Bachmanns and Palins and Perrys, oh my!
Is God's message: "I'm going to randomly wreak havoc on you all" or "It's stupid to build houses 50 feet from the shoreline and in flood plains next to rivers that flood like clockwork every year." What a puzzler.
Here I am. Talk to me with a Hurricane.
Everyday I thank Gawd I'm an atheist. But you know what I mean, no?
It would be cool if the Flying Spaghetti Monster decided to hit One L and Goodhair with lightning bolts on the same day.
And also one more bolt for Intense Debate. Too.
~
Needz moar flaming meatballs and scalding marinara from heaven.
In that case, what is God trying to tell Washington by inflicting Michele Bachman on it?
That God has a sick sense of humor.
And when I die, I expect to find him laughing…
That's a blesphemous rumor!!1!
Thank you both for joining me on my 80s flashback.
Everything counts in large amounts.
I've told my family that they are to play that song at my funeral.
are you trying to start blasphemous rumors?
I'll bet God is actually Dr. Demento.
Sometimes, god speaks to his people through an ass or donkey. Whichever bays the loudest.
Beagles and hounds bay, donkeys and asses bray- I know my animals but unlike republicans, I don't know them in the biblica sense.
Thank goodness for that!
Yes Michele, you are weirder than Lady Gaga. But LG has a talent.
Her?
LOL! Without even having heard about the rumor that's been out since gaga has, my mom asked me after seeing the MTV VMA's if Gaga was born a male. lol
And a meat dress, too!
Minnesota, you'd think by now they'd get the message. A bridge collapse…a tornado…(not to mention numerous snow storms)…are you listening? The decent people of Minnesota have done everything they can–now it's time for an act of God…
So can we please get it, by getting Shelly out of government once and for all?
A tornado in Bachmannn's district is a sign from God that Marcus is gay.
That was just Marcus sucking a mean cock.
So for God, death & hurricanes are a sign to cut federal spending?
This means that either God is Eric Cantor or that God is as big a prick as Eric Cantor.
Rick Perry prays for rain, God sends fire, never a miscommunication.
That teabagger Michele is a laff riot.
Thou shalt not think.
Hilarious!
*rimshot*
Shave and a haircut, two bits.
No, that's Marcus.
Hey, Michele, one phrase, four syllables: I35.
God was trying to tell the numbfuck Republicans in Minnesota that they should spend a few nickels on the roads and schools, even if it means that the Target CEO has to settle for last year's model of gulfstream jet.
Notice this didn't happen when the Democrats were in charge of Congress, so God wants Congress to stop trying to defund Planned Parenthood and cutting taxes for millionares, obviously.
Is she a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? God sent Irene to kill the gheys in New York, but due to his extremely bad aim point, he just happened to kill a few of the straights too. Better luck next time alien space lizard!
The stoopids are strong in this one.
Close. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2011/may/godstrike…
AAAUUUGGGHHHH!
"I just kill 'em all, and let Me sort them out."
—God
FLOOD LIBEL!
You win.
I'm sitting watching and listening to the Cardinals at my bird feeder. They seem to get most active at sunset and they're squawking and chirping like crazy. I have no idea what they're saying but they make a whole lot more sense than this sad excuse for a human. Calling her a bird brain would be a compliment.
that's really funny. it's been beautiful here in chi (sorry east coast) for like the past five days and i had all the windows open in my 1903 house which routinely proves that builders in 1903 had a fucking clue about air flow.
anyway, as the sun went down i heard 'our' cardinals – the couple that dominates our block – singing out and i thought what a gorgeous sound it was
- and then ken posted something about batshit bachmann.
Our house, here in sunny Norcal, was built in 1929(!) as a "Moorish fantasy summer home" for rich San Franciscans. The bedrooms always stay cool, yet the kitchen has a lot of direct sunlight and the walls are thick.
Many visitors have think we have AC.
They sure knew how to build 'em, didn't they?
*sigh*
i know right? just amazing. gorgeous wood work, solid foundation that hasn't cracked or leaked in over a 100 years, air flow from heaven.
i have been told i have a 'sears kit house' but i'm not sure that's true. and not really sure what that is.
cheers!
Here you go ff — "How to tell if your home is a Sears kit house"
http://www.arts-crafts.com/archive/kithome/rt-sea…
"drooling pill addict."
I never knew what to call my mother in law until now.
All the best to you , Mr. Layne
Yea, that's Ole Crazyeyes! Nothing is funnier than people that die in a hurricane and the millions struggling to get by without power. Funny!
Hurricanes forming in the Atlantic Ocean during hurricane season…..I can certainly see where the whole Wrath of God theory makes sense, but where Michele loses me is when I factor in the "petering out" aspect of this call to repentance. Cat 3 down to Cat 1, and she wasn't even a real hurricun by the time she blew into Times Square!
I think you've got a point.
If God had some real balls and wanted to prove point, he/she would whip up a hurricane out of season, say February.
Yeah right!
A billionaire dropping money.
As if that would ever happen.
Bachmann= hurricunt
Enough with you and KBJ blaming the pill-popping. I like to think Michele is just Natural Born Krazy.
And she is just killing us with that nutty, homespun humor.
I'm sure she'd prefer to do it with policy, but you use what you got.
Meh. That's all I can muster. Stupid, but it absolutely pales in comparison to the shit stuff Beck has said about Irene over the past few days.
yeah, but fox fired his ass.
Does it matter what he says anymore? I get the sense that he is reaching fewer people and any support for him has dropped off greatly. But I could be wrong.
As another space alien (Mork) once said "Humor…AR, AR."
You kow what else is a sign? When an idiot politician can't help making light of a natural disaster that destroyed houses, property, roads, trees and killed forty citizens, that's a sign that she places political points over actual human lives and should never be in a position of responsibility.
once again we see that republicans have absolutely no idea what 'humor' means.
So Christian of you Michele to make fun of all the folks who lost houses, cars, roads, businesses, schools and of course the 40 dead Americans. Anything to make the white folk comfortable with their racism so the can laugh when what they really want to say but can't is they wish to their God that black man in the White House would leave. Say one thing for her though, I finally had to learn how to spell hypocrite.
Mucho p to you, sir.
As the mother of a resident of the now infamous zone A, as a friend of several residents of Virginia and New York, and as the sister of a Red Cross volunteer deployed to NYC … I don't get it. What's funny about death and destruction?
If you're a Republican?
Dear Michele:
Laughing morons DOES NOT mean that you're funny.
The more we know about her, the larger her Youtube and MSM arsenal in horrid displays of callousness, mental illness and bigotry grows – what does that say about her receptive audience?
This is just as sickening as seeing people pay Sarah Palin six-figures ($15,000 discount for West Coast gigs as long as they supply bendy-straws) for her 'speechifying.'
Oh, you know, she didn't personally know any of those dead people, so that makes it a lot easier to exploit them. Same with those miserable, vacuous starfuckers who laughed with her.
Here's a Freeper who doesn't think it's a joke, but Serious Theology:
Bachmann is right..
Yes this is a *Warning * from GOD…
What did Jesus say, the world would be like before he returns???
He said they would be just like the *Days of Noah*
What destroyed the earth…*The GREAT FLOOD*
GOD said he would not destroy the entire planet by a flood, that is just the *Warning*
Fire will ultimatley cleanse and purify the earth.
HOW ARE WE LIKE THE DAYS OF NOAH?
1. Record Floods on the earth
2. Legalization of Homosexual Marriage
3. People scoffing at GOD with no fear….
Matt. 24:37-38: “But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. “For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark.
IMHO the ARK for our Generation is the *Rapture of the Church*
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2770374/…
————-
I'm "scoffing at God" right now!
EDIT: That thread's devolving into a lovely godfight…
Your friend knows what he talks about. Noah kept the predators from the prey. The Whales from the japs, The plankton from the rats — who fuck like bunnies, and ate at the ships stores. The polar bears and manatees got along swimmingly. He was able to keep the million species of beetles separated. Penguins, Galagapos finch, American Bald eagle, and herpes simplex II all in check.
But this feat was nothing, NOTHING, compared to the heroes of 9/11.
Whenever I see these doom scenarios I think of how people must have felt in the dark days of WWI, WWII, Vietnam, (were there any other kind?), or the Depression, etc.
All this hand wringing over a bad storm and a piddly earthquake?
Oh, please!
Hey you know that storm that killed a bunch of people and everyone had to evacuate? Well here's a funny joke about it.A funny thing happened on my way to the storm shelter.Knock knockHey, who hates government spending? (wait for applause)
My new dream job: speechwriter to teh crazey eyes.
Man, I should have caught you at knock knock so I could say "F**K You Leahey"!
Maybe God's just mad at your gay husband's staggering hypocrisy and is characteristically fucking with perfectly innocent people, just because.
I'd say, "Fuck this monstrous bitch with a stick," but I don't hate sticks that much.
Jesus Christ does not care about White People
I get migraines too. But all my doctor will give me is fioricet, which makes me sleepy but does not produce visions or make me hear voices. Can I have the name of Michele's doc please?
Oh be quiet, you cunt.
The scary part is that she's not joking.
Everything was fine until Shelly won the Iowa caucus. Using George W. Bush logic, the God at that point decided to drop a tornado on Virginia and flood Vermont in retaliation.
Hahaha. No seriously guys, millions of people believe this.
Lizzie, Katydid, LoquaciousMusic, ProfJukes, other friends in Floodsville … are you guys on dry ground yet?
Michelle Bachman is an act of god. Loki, to be precise.
Yeah right! http://sahinnparadisegelenekselramazancoskusu.net…
So, Shelley, when the upper midwest was flooding so badly in the late winter and early spring…was that God's retribution, too?
God'll get you for that, Michele.
♪♫ Well it just goes to show
Michele's not what she seems
Please, Sister Morphine, take this nightmare from the scene
Oh, we hope she's fading fast?
And that this shot will be her last ♫♪
Oh yes, you evil bitch, 'God' destroyed Vermont and killed people, including an 11-year-old boy, because he wants a balanced budget.
Oh, you evil, evil, bitch.
Don't you see? It's Obama's fault.
God was being ironic
God is such a fucking hipster.
I don't honestly know which is more disturbing: what she said or those laughing in response to what she said. Where do these people come from? Do they ever think, or do they simply operate at some reptilian response level? Do they have a soul, a conscience? I am depressed.
TU:
Remember when Borat got a whole bar to join in a rousing round of the folksong from his homeland "Throw the Jew Down the Well?"
I guess that answers that.
I know.
A bunch of entitled bitters laughing at her stupid "jokes" is the worst thing about this video.
It's like seeing graphic pictures. You know it happened intellectually, but to see the actual photos…ugh!
Soooo depressing.
Some people say she has five minutes of standup about Bopal and Chernobyl and will leave you rolling in the aisle.
Clutching your gut.
I'm still waiting for someone to interpret God's message to Texas.
god = very, very powerful, but not all that good of a communicator
She should try that joke in the Catskills. I'll bet it kills there.
What hilarity to view this after coming back from CNN's coverage of people's lives being washed away in Vermont! Maybe she is now to toxic to cover any more on Wonkette. Does she have ANY CHANCE of winning the nomination? If not, just drop her. She's beyond absurd.
People are people.
Crap! I've already blown my "Rock you like a Hurricane" joke.
T?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOEDLQ6YDC4
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