Drooling pill addict Michele Bachmann continues to blurt clownish things so that YouTube will have more joke clips. What now?

Oh just something super funny about Hurricane Irene, and God, and how God punishes America and kills 40 innocent Americans with His Storm because Michele Bachmann needs a “topical angle” for her usual campaign speech about the poor stealing a few dollars that the billionaires dropped somewhere. [YouTube/Chicago Tribune]

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  • V572 T-Blow

    As Chillwaver pointed out in the earlier post, what does Miche1e think was the message of Katrina?

  • Crank_Tango

    All these idiot candidates, god sends a message, yet no one listens and they will still nominate a retard.

  • fuflans

    i don't know where shelley is, but i look forward to our lizzie bitch slapping the shit out of her.

  • smashaduck

    As a gay, I think I can speak for us all when I say SHUT THE FUCK UP! Hurricanes are ours. If we stop getting blamed for those, where will it end? All we'll have left is our jihads of witty mockery and google bombing stupid fucking bigoted senators from PA.

    • mumbly_joe

      And earthquakes are because of ladies with their boobies hanging out.

      Err, not that our stateside fundies are exactly the same as the theocratic zealots in the Islamic Republic of Iran, of course. After all, those guys are brown, and call their god some other name (that translates into English as "God"). So, totally different.

    • Trannysurprise

      There's our glitter. We will always have that.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        Princess Sparkle Pony, is that YOU?

    • MichelesPantalones

      Hell, I don't hear no straight people asking you not to speak for them either.

    • tcaalaw

      What about your barbarian hordes attacking Marcus Bachmann's "clinic"? Won't you still have those?

    • ttommyunger

      What about the hot, sweaty monkey sex? From what I hear, you've got that going for you, which is nice ;)

  • poncho_pilot

    funny…i thought God was telling us he wanted Michele Bachmann as a human sacrifice. stop sharpening that ritual disemboweling knife, Steve. maybe next time.

    • MichelesPantalones

      He tells *me* that all the damn time. I quit listening to him because I found out he was canoodling with Michele and Rick DinglePerry behind my back.

  • WhatTheHeck

    But notice, the Earthquake and Hurricane were unleashed upon the country only after Perry announced his entry into the presidential race thing.Are you listening Michele?

  • I heard that Michele Bachmann likes white poop

    • Radiotherapy®

      Wouldn't that make her batshit crazy?

      • Now you've guano too far.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Night of the–Ick!–guano?

        • user-of-owls

          Really. Some people just have no sense of when to stop flogging a meme that is already over-dung.

          • Jukesgrrl

            Yes, all of them, Katie.

          • Native_of_SL_UT


          • bagofmice

            This meme is the shit!

          • not that Dewey


          • Doktor Zoom

            It's poopies! Soylent Green is made of POOPIES!!!!

            (This post, like Soylent Green, contains 98% recycled content)

          • not that Dewey
      • Nah, when Marcus gets frustrated he drinks and goes on a paint-eating binge.

        • Beowoof

          Eating lead paint chips would explain a lot about Michele and Marcus.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Jim Newell, always handy with a good poop joke.

      • Nostrildamus

        Poop jokes are Wonkette nunchucks.

    • extreme_left

      White rock

    • HuddledMass

      Newell! And Layne! And poop jokes!!

      This is just Wonkette Classic, this here.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    God is not a spiteful Republican.

    (and She certainly would have better aim)

    • Sue4466

      I love how the same party that claims to have such a lock on God is also the party of the most meanspirited fucks ever.

  • dr_giraud

    Too bad the video cut out before the punchline, when she added, "it's funny 'cause it's true."

    • Sparky_McGruff

      I was sure the punchline is "It's funny because some of the people killed were nee-grahs!"

      • MichelesPantalones

        That's definitely more her style.

  • Maybe an act of god will make her realize she's married to a gay man.

    • poncho_pilot

      or an act of Todd. or Rod.

      • HelmutNewton

        I think Marcus would enjoy Todd or Rod more than Michelle.

        • Sparky_McGruff

          I think Marcus has spent plenty of quality time with Todd's rod.

      • Or perhaps Richard, frequent dinner guest and friend-of-Marcus-the family who always brings flowers and compliments her on her hair.

    • Nostrildamus

      An act against God more like.

  • fuflans

    last time i checked michele you were in washington too.

    maybe god wanted to wipe out the baggers. i know i do.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    …and she reminded Floridians about being responsible for W?

  • Barb

    Jesus, this bitch is so stupid. She's saying anything that comes to her empty head while her husband is gargling semen.

    • sezme

      Hey, don't diss the noble work that Marcus does. He literally sucks the gay right out of these confused young men.

  • Doktor Zoom

    No deaths in DC, six in North Carolina, seven in New Jersey.


    • Crank_Tango

      chris christie inhaled several meat tornadoes on his own, fwiw

      • widget2011

        Is it my imagination, or is that fat fuck gaining 50 lbs. a day?, It's kind of like the chicken heart that ate New York City.If "Mike" from Mike & Molly dies of a massive heart attack, Christy is a shoe in.

    • henrypuppyhead

      God hates Carolina BBQ and Jersey Shore.

      • Sparky_McGruff

        Correction: God hates Duke and Jersey Shore. I don't think God can get that worked up about Carolina BBQ.

        • It's my understanding that it is not kosher to put cole slaw on top of pulled pork within a sandwich. I think Jah would have a strong opinion about that, Mr. McGruff.

          • Sparky_McGruff

            I'm sorry, I'm not an expert on Kosher Pork. I just know that Duke sucks, which is why the hurricanes head for NC.

          • DeathOfIrony

            Extra hush-puppies and plenty of PBR are an offset

    • BlueStateLibel

      I pointed this out before: much of the damage (flooding) in NJ is in the suburbs, which are mostly white and Republican. They're also the people who voted in Chris Christie. It appears on the other hand, godless Greenwich Village in the city was unharmed; although I suppose the nightlife was particularly poor Saturday night.

      But enough of stupid facts, if you told this to Bachmann she'd understand it as about as well as my gold fish.

      • Doktor Zoom

        My new pet, Darth Betta (Dark Lord of the Fisssh), is a far more ethical creature than Michele Bachmann.

        Cuter, too. And far more pleasant to be in a room with.

        • not that Dewey

          I hope you memorialized Flushy properly, by using his name as your online banking password.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Because that would entail getting rid of Chris Chrispy and Nikki Haley.

    • JohnyEdge

      God clearly hates states beginning with the letter "N", but even God can't be bothered to visit North Dakota, so it gets a pass.

      And he confused Vermont and New Hampshire–I do that all the time and Nevada and New Mexico, uh? New York something happened there too, I think?

  • OkieDokieDog

    White peoples sure are chuckling at that funny One L Michele. Can't wait until she comes to a comedy club near me. Or better yet – gets an HBO special!

    What the fuck is wrong with these people?

  • Apparently God is not a fan of cheesesteaks. Fuck You, God.

    • Barb

      Crap, I made cheesteaks for dinner and now I have to suffer the wrath of God. *sigh*

      • Whiz wit? God really hates those for some damn reason.

      • mumbly_joe

        You know you could take TUMS® for that, right?

      • Cheesesteak: The Wrath of God is my favorite Herzog film.

        • Doktor Zoom
          • flamingpdog

            Dubya libel!

        • Jukesgrrl

          I once had a bagger tell me on a message board that the Raft of God was going to come down on me for my pro-choice views. Maybe that term is appropriate for hurricane weather.

    • MichelesPantalones
  • elfgoldsackring

    Lo, then did the Lord's wrath wax mightily once more and He did smite them with a plague of Bachmanns…

    • Negropolis

      Bachmanns and Palins and Perrys, oh my!

  • BlueStateLibel

    Is God's message: "I'm going to randomly wreak havoc on you all" or "It's stupid to build houses 50 feet from the shoreline and in flood plains next to rivers that flood like clockwork every year." What a puzzler.

    • bagofmice

      Here I am. Talk to me with a Hurricane.

  • smashedinhat

    Everyday I thank Gawd I'm an atheist. But you know what I mean, no?

  • It would be cool if the Flying Spaghetti Monster decided to hit One L and Goodhair with lightning bolts on the same day.

    And also one more bolt for Intense Debate. Too.

    • Negropolis

      Needz moar flaming meatballs and scalding marinara from heaven.

  • mumbly_joe

    In that case, what is God trying to tell Washington by inflicting Michele Bachman on it?

    • Sue4466

      That God has a sick sense of humor.

      • Doktor Zoom

        And when I die, I expect to find him laughing…

      • keepem_sikanpor

        That's a blesphemous rumor!!1!

        • Sue4466

          Thank you both for joining me on my 80s flashback.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Everything counts in large amounts.

          • Sue4466

            People are people.

          • bagofmice

            Crap! I've already blown my "Rock you like a Hurricane" joke.

        • Native_of_SL_UT

          I've told my family that they are to play that song at my funeral.

      • poncho_pilot

        are you trying to start blasphemous rumors?

      • I'll bet God is actually Dr. Demento.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Sometimes, god speaks to his people through an ass or donkey. Whichever bays the loudest.

      • finallyhappy

        Beagles and hounds bay, donkeys and asses bray- I know my animals but unlike republicans, I don't know them in the biblica sense.

        • MichelesPantalones

          Thank goodness for that!

  • RedneckMuslin

    Yes Michele, you are weirder than Lady Gaga. But LG has a talent.

    • Crank_Tango


      • Negropolis

        LOL! Without even having heard about the rumor that's been out since gaga has, my mom asked me after seeing the MTV VMA's if Gaga was born a male. lol

    • tcaalaw

      And a meat dress, too!

  • Callyson

    Minnesota, you'd think by now they'd get the message. A bridge collapse…a tornado…(not to mention numerous snow storms)…are you listening? The decent people of Minnesota have done everything they can–now it's time for an act of God…
    So can we please get it, by getting Shelly out of government once and for all?

  • nounverb911

    A tornado in Bachmannn's district is a sign from God that Marcus is gay.

    • henrypuppyhead

      That was just Marcus sucking a mean cock.

  • Sue4466

    So for God, death & hurricanes are a sign to cut federal spending?

    This means that either God is Eric Cantor or that God is as big a prick as Eric Cantor.

  • nounverb911

    Rick Perry prays for rain, God sends fire, never a miscommunication.

  • hollywooddood

    That teabagger Michele is a laff riot.

  • JackObin

    Thou shalt not think.

  • a_pink_poodle


  • Radiotherapy®


  • horsedreamer_1

    Hey, Michele, one phrase, four syllables: I35.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      God was trying to tell the numbfuck Republicans in Minnesota that they should spend a few nickels on the roads and schools, even if it means that the Target CEO has to settle for last year's model of gulfstream jet.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Notice this didn't happen when the Democrats were in charge of Congress, so God wants Congress to stop trying to defund Planned Parenthood and cutting taxes for millionares, obviously.

  • widget2011

    Is she a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? God sent Irene to kill the gheys in New York, but due to his extremely bad aim point, he just happened to kill a few of the straights too. Better luck next time alien space lizard!

    The stoopids are strong in this one.

  • mumbly_joe


    • Troglodeity

      You win.

  • I'm sitting watching and listening to the Cardinals at my bird feeder. They seem to get most active at sunset and they're squawking and chirping like crazy. I have no idea what they're saying but they make a whole lot more sense than this sad excuse for a human. Calling her a bird brain would be a compliment.

    • fuflans

      that's really funny. it's been beautiful here in chi (sorry east coast) for like the past five days and i had all the windows open in my 1903 house which routinely proves that builders in 1903 had a fucking clue about air flow.

      anyway, as the sun went down i heard 'our' cardinals – the couple that dominates our block – singing out and i thought what a gorgeous sound it was

      – and then ken posted something about batshit bachmann.

      • Our house, here in sunny Norcal, was built in 1929(!) as a "Moorish fantasy summer home" for rich San Franciscans. The bedrooms always stay cool, yet the kitchen has a lot of direct sunlight and the walls are thick.
        Many visitors have think we have AC.
        They sure knew how to build 'em, didn't they?

        • fuflans

          i know right? just amazing. gorgeous wood work, solid foundation that hasn't cracked or leaked in over a 100 years, air flow from heaven.

          i have been told i have a 'sears kit house' but i'm not sure that's true. and not really sure what that is.


  • rocktonsam

    "drooling pill addict."

    I never knew what to call my mother in law until now.

    All the best to you , Mr. Layne

  • Trannysurprise

    Yea, that's Ole Crazyeyes! Nothing is funnier than people that die in a hurricane and the millions struggling to get by without power. Funny!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Hurricanes forming in the Atlantic Ocean during hurricane season…..I can certainly see where the whole Wrath of God theory makes sense, but where Michele loses me is when I factor in the "petering out" aspect of this call to repentance. Cat 3 down to Cat 1, and she wasn't even a real hurricun by the time she blew into Times Square!

    • Trannysurprise

      I think you've got a point.

      If God had some real balls and wanted to prove point, he/she would whip up a hurricane out of season, say February.

  • Warpde

    Yeah right!
    A billionaire dropping money.
    As if that would ever happen.

  • rocktonsam

    Bachmann= hurricunt

  • Enough with you and KBJ blaming the pill-popping. I like to think Michele is just Natural Born Krazy.

    • Radiotherapy®

      And she is just killing us with that nutty, homespun humor.

      • MichelesPantalones

        I'm sure she'd prefer to do it with policy, but you use what you got.

  • Negropolis

    Meh. That's all I can muster. Stupid, but it absolutely pales in comparison to the shit stuff Beck has said about Irene over the past few days.

    • fuflans

      yeah, but fox fired his ass.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Does it matter what he says anymore? I get the sense that he is reaching fewer people and any support for him has dropped off greatly. But I could be wrong.

  • Slim_Pickins

    As another space alien (Mork) once said "Humor…AR, AR."

  • SayItWithWookies

    You kow what else is a sign? When an idiot politician can't help making light of a natural disaster that destroyed houses, property, roads, trees and killed forty citizens, that's a sign that she places political points over actual human lives and should never be in a position of responsibility.

  • fuflans

    once again we see that republicans have absolutely no idea what 'humor' means.

  • rickmaci

    So Christian of you Michele to make fun of all the folks who lost houses, cars, roads, businesses, schools and of course the 40 dead Americans. Anything to make the white folk comfortable with their racism so the can laugh when what they really want to say but can't is they wish to their God that black man in the White House would leave. Say one thing for her though, I finally had to learn how to spell hypocrite.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Mucho p to you, sir.

  • buffalogal

    As the mother of a resident of the now infamous zone A, as a friend of several residents of Virginia and New York, and as the sister of a Red Cross volunteer deployed to NYC … I don't get it. What's funny about death and destruction?

    • mumbly_joe

      If you're a Republican?

  • Dear Michele:

    Laughing morons DOES NOT mean that you're funny.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    The more we know about her, the larger her Youtube and MSM arsenal in horrid displays of callousness, mental illness and bigotry grows – what does that say about her receptive audience?

    This is just as sickening as seeing people pay Sarah Palin six-figures ($15,000 discount for West Coast gigs as long as they supply bendy-straws) for her 'speechifying.'

  • Oh, you know, she didn't personally know any of those dead people, so that makes it a lot easier to exploit them. Same with those miserable, vacuous starfuckers who laughed with her.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Here's a Freeper who doesn't think it's a joke, but Serious Theology:

    Bachmann is right..

    Yes this is a *Warning * from GOD…

    What did Jesus say, the world would be like before he returns???

    He said they would be just like the *Days of Noah*

    What destroyed the earth…*The GREAT FLOOD*

    GOD said he would not destroy the entire planet by a flood, that is just the *Warning*

    Fire will ultimatley cleanse and purify the earth.


    1. Record Floods on the earth

    2. Legalization of Homosexual Marriage

    3. People scoffing at GOD with no fear….

    Matt. 24:37-38: “But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. “For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark.

    IMHO the ARK for our Generation is the *Rapture of the Church*

    I'm "scoffing at God" right now!

    EDIT: That thread's devolving into a lovely godfight…

    • Radiotherapy®

      Your friend knows what he talks about. Noah kept the predators from the prey. The Whales from the japs, The plankton from the rats — who fuck like bunnies, and ate at the ships stores. The polar bears and manatees got along swimmingly. He was able to keep the million species of beetles separated. Penguins, Galagapos finch, American Bald eagle, and herpes simplex II all in check.
      But this feat was nothing, NOTHING, compared to the heroes of 9/11.

    • Whenever I see these doom scenarios I think of how people must have felt in the dark days of WWI, WWII, Vietnam, (were there any other kind?), or the Depression, etc.
      All this hand wringing over a bad storm and a piddly earthquake?
      Oh, please!

  • genxr

    Hey you know that storm that killed a bunch of people and everyone had to evacuate? Well here's a funny joke about it.

    A funny thing happened on my way to the storm shelter.

    Knock knock

    Hey, who hates government spending? (wait for applause)

    My new dream job: speechwriter to teh crazey eyes.

    • DeathOfIrony

      Man, I should have caught you at knock knock so I could say "F**K You Leahey"!

  • Maybe God's just mad at your gay husband's staggering hypocrisy and is characteristically fucking with perfectly innocent people, just because.

  • GhostBuggy

    I'd say, "Fuck this monstrous bitch with a stick," but I don't hate sticks that much.

  • GregComlish

    Jesus Christ does not care about White People

  • x111e7thst

    I get migraines too. But all my doctor will give me is fioricet, which makes me sleepy but does not produce visions or make me hear voices. Can I have the name of Michele's doc please?

  • smitallica

    Oh be quiet, you cunt.

  • mavenmaven

    The scary part is that she's not joking.

  • owhatever

    Everything was fine until Shelly won the Iowa caucus. Using George W. Bush logic, the God at that point decided to drop a tornado on Virginia and flood Vermont in retaliation.

  • WilliamHTaft

    Hahaha. No seriously guys, millions of people believe this.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Lizzie, Katydid, LoquaciousMusic, ProfJukes, other friends in Floodsville … are you guys on dry ground yet?

  • iburl

    Michelle Bachman is an act of god. Loki, to be precise.

  • Terry

    So, Shelley, when the upper midwest was flooding so badly in the late winter and early spring…was that God's retribution, too?

  • LiveToServeYa

    God'll get you for that, Michele.

  • ♪♫ Well it just goes to show
    Michele's not what she seems
    Please, Sister Morphine, take this nightmare from the scene
    Oh, we hope she's fading fast?
    And that this shot will be her last ♫♪

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Oh yes, you evil bitch, 'God' destroyed Vermont and killed people, including an 11-year-old boy, because he wants a balanced budget.

    Oh, you evil, evil, bitch.


      Don't you see? It's Obama's fault.

      • Polythene_Pam

        God was being ironic

        • genxr

          God is such a fucking hipster.

  • ttommyunger

    I don't honestly know which is more disturbing: what she said or those laughing in response to what she said. Where do these people come from? Do they ever think, or do they simply operate at some reptilian response level? Do they have a soul, a conscience? I am depressed.

    • Tundra Grifter


      Remember when Borat got a whole bar to join in a rousing round of the folksong from his homeland "Throw the Jew Down the Well?"

      • ttommyunger

        I guess that answers that.

    • I know.
      A bunch of entitled bitters laughing at her stupid "jokes" is the worst thing about this video.
      It's like seeing graphic pictures. You know it happened intellectually, but to see the actual photos…ugh!

      • ttommyunger

        Soooo depressing.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Some people say she has five minutes of standup about Bopal and Chernobyl and will leave you rolling in the aisle.

    Clutching your gut.

  • MinAgain

    I'm still waiting for someone to interpret God's message to Texas.

  • Polythene_Pam

    god = very, very powerful, but not all that good of a communicator

  • Troglodeity

    She should try that joke in the Catskills. I'll bet it kills there.

  • DemonicRage

    What hilarity to view this after coming back from CNN's coverage of people's lives being washed away in Vermont! Maybe she is now to toxic to cover any more on Wonkette. Does she have ANY CHANCE of winning the nomination? If not, just drop her. She's beyond absurd.

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