Harsh birther blueball: some guy who is apparently Barack Obama’s long-lost illegal Kenyan immigrant uncle Onyango Obama turned up in Massachusetts after he was arrested on a drunk driving charge. You missed by one illegal Kenyan, Massachusetts police! OH WELL, this was still enough parts “illegal Kenyan Obama arrested headline” to put birther mothership web site WorldNetDaily into such a tizzy that its editors started throwing around the word “irony” like they magically know what it means post-some-guy-named-Obama arrest. “Irony can be pretty ironic” they note, like the brain-damaged frat boy from your Humanities 102 seminar explaining that “postmodernism” is the definition of itself. And now we, too, feel brain damaged. How about some more details from the arrest?
From the Boston Herald:
An illegal immigrant from Kenya busted for drunken driving after nearly striking a cop car in Framingham is the uncle of President Obama, the Herald has learned.
Obama Onyango told cops he wanted to “call the White House” after he was nabbed for OUI Aug. 24 after nearly plowing his SUV into a police cruiser. He was arraigned Thursday and was ordered held without bail because he was wanted on a federal immigration warrant, officials said.
Mike Rogers, a spokesman for Cleveland immigration attorney Margaret Wong, who is representing Onyango, confirmed that the 67-year-old is the president’s uncle. Wong is the same lawyer who represented the president’s aunt, Zeituni Onyango, in her fight to win asylum last year.
This is “irony” just “literally” peeing on America, everywhere. [Boston Herald]
{ 125 comments }
It's JUST like rain on your wedding day!
Don't you think?
Mmmmm…..black fly Chardonnay…
Now I know how N'awlins felt during Hurricane Katrina!
No, no. Kristen specifically said that it was a golden shower.
I'm curious, is everyone from Obama, Japan related to the president too?
Or US Americans actually from the city of Usa?
They did do that cute little video, remember?
i'd still rather go driving with Obama's uncle than hunting with Dick Cheney.
Mental multi-fists for that one…
But what if I like to play "The Most Dangerous Game?"
Interviewers on Cheney's book tour would like to ask him about that hunting accident, but are afraid the former veep will whip out a handgun and blow them away on the spot. Not like he has much to lose, what with the external apparatus keeping him "alive" anyway.
Smart choice. You're far more likely to survive the former.
Good girl!!!
Will you please come by my house and tell me I can never be as whitty or funny as you? That statement needs to be on a t-shirt.
I think you're safer in the car than outside of it. Ask Laura Bush. or her dead ex-boyfriend.
Bush and Cheney need to win some time in an asylum…
Was Billy Beer really that bad?
Yes, and yes
Can't some bounty hunter drag them to the Hague?
Why do you hate the mentally ill?
Or the criminally insane, for that matter?
Based on the name of his attorney, the gentleman in question is the Wong driver?
Yet WND still does not understand why Moldovian Immigrant, Dentist, Lawyer, Real Estate Agent and Birfer Queen, Orly Taintz, continues to cause laughter when she says "Obama is an illegal" which sounds like to me "Keel Moos und Skwirl" in thick Slavic accent.
All I need is to see a picture of the lady and I crack up, especially after the "hot wet and ready" accounts of schtupping Lilly VonSchtupp there, surfaced. She is a walking, unfortunately continuously talking punchline.
Obama Onyango told cops he wanted to “call the White House” after he was nabbed for OUI Aug. 24 after nearly plowing his SUV into a police cruiser.
Who does he think he is, Jeff Gannon?
He's not been in the US long if he think family connections count for much.
Not even. Nobody gives a blowie like Jeff.
Lebowski wasn't blowing anyone after his drunk and disorderly arrest, man.
What, this guy was not accompanied by a call girl or rent boy? Must not be a Republican then…
That's almost as cool as back in the 70's when this dude whose dad was head of the CIA, and was later vice president, and even later was president, was popped for DUI. The coolest part? The DUI guy became president too!!! Fucking amazing shit! Almost like all those weird parallels between Lincoln and Kennedy.
Or when this guy named Neil was wanted for some S&L money-stealing or stuff, and called one of his "partners" and said "tell him the VP's son called."
And his VP had TWO DUI's under his 45" belt.
The fucking cops never let me call the White House when I get arrested either.
You mean, your coke dealer?
It's racism, is what it is.
also Reggie Bush was a liar and cheater , just like his coach and team mates at USC and his cousin George probably
I always preferred You Oughta Know, especially after learning it was about Joey from Full House.
Uncle Joey?
Cut. It. Out!
wow. memories…
This is “irony” just “literally” peeing on America, everywhere.
Almost as ironical as when Jenna and Not Jenna would get arrested for under-age drunk and disorderly – which was breaking a law their own Governer Daddy had signed.
Kind of like that.
LOL @ "Not Jenna". Curiously enough, it's Jenna that turned into the kinda-humanitarian.
I guess this proves that Billy Carter was also an alien terrist Libyan muslin.
Well Muslims aren't supposed to drink and Billy Beer really helped that cause along. So it sounds to be terrorist to me.
Roger Clinton called. He wants his shtick back.
World Net Daily:
Beating ridiculous conspiracy theories into the ground so you don't have to.
Pornstar Faye Reagan has some explaining to do.
Dane Cross has admitted he shot (into) Reagan.
Yeah, they got a point, we should accept "personal responsibility" for our crazy uncles. Like we have any control over someone else's actions, and we all know that that crazy uncle, because he always shows up at Thanksgiving and pisses on the turkey, right before he gets a DUI with a BAC of 0.45 or so. Just who among us doesn't have that special crazy uncle, with the tin foil hat?
If you think you don't have one, then it's possible that… you ARE the crazy uncle!!!
Hey! Wait a minute. Are you Noelle Bush? Probably not, you didn't sound like you thought this behavior was cool,
Gee, and I thought my crazy uncle was weird because he had wet, slippery hands and talked in a continuous low monotone and was always grabbing at any kid who got too close.
At least mine didn't piss all over dinner.
Not me- all of my uncles are dead but I have some crazy cousins and nephews- all old enough to be in trouble
Mine doesn't wear his hat at the table, thankfully, but he still does shout about how the Dixie Chicks need to be executed for treason.
Hmm. You mean, I am the crazy uncle?
OUI = Obama Under the Influence? Is this a crime?
Influence Under Obama would get those wingnuts flappin' as well.
I was puzzlin' a little on that myself. I think it stands for Operating Under the Influence.
/not a funny comment – I really was puzzled
Unfortunately, in my case, "DUI" is the same whether we're referring to the way I was driving or my state of existence (and if you say it out loud — damn! I just blew my own mind!)
No more so than EWO – Existing While Obama.
Or PWB — Presiding While Black.
The crime is that Obama is under too many different influences…
OUI = Driving While Black
WND = Stupid Stupid Stupid
Stupidity can be pretty stupid.
Stupidity ain't pretty.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Batshit crazy is crazy like batshit.
Racists can be pretty Racist.
How "ironic"!
Actually, it seems to me that grossly misusing "ironic" could possibly be considered ironic. Or maybe just pathologically stupid.
English teachers nation-wide are cringing.
I like to think that most English teachers need a couple shots of whiskey to head out the door in the morning. Not that I want them to suffer, just that I want them to be aloud to dull what I see as inevitable suffering.
Can't we get Bush arrested for presidenting while drunk? He veered the whole country into a ditch and then stepped on the gas, while chugging some Jack.
Them's the breaks. Bush was squeaky clean. He only had daughters cited for underage drinking, and a neice arrested for prescription drug fraud.
No the definition of irony is Jerome Corsi's Birther Book being released the same week as the president putting the issue to bed.
The only way to up the irony on that involves a frying pan.
Here I thought the definition of irony was what I have to do with my dress shirts this weekend as we end summer business casual after Labor Day.
Ooh! I have another definition!:
Dramatic irony.
It is ironic that they regard this as ironic.
…and that brain-damaged frat boy went on to become…a Wonkette commenter…AND NOW YOU KNOW…THE REST OF THE STORY.
…and that brain-damaged frat boy went on to become…
a Wonkette commenterGovernor of Texas…AND NOW YOU KNOW…THE REST OF THE STORY./fixed.
Is this postmodernism the email on the intertubes rather than those paper thingies with the licky stickies on one corner delivered by some dying Federal agency or does this olde engineer have a confused?
So you type comments using letters? Ironic!
I have a brilliant comment on weejee's post and it will appear here in three or four days, having been delivered by a uniformed federal agent.
Actually more noteworthy, since I use the too many keys on an accordion.
So after G you're pretty much F'd?
Or A#, like a bright Canadian.
Obviously this is a conspiracy against something.
"Call my distant relative in government" only fixes DUI's in Louisiana.
In Louisiana, everyone is your cousin, by birth and marriage.
I rent from an Indian, so I think Piyush can help me out.
Jesus H. Christ. He's almost as big a loser as Little Georgie Bush, well-known drunk, draft-dodger and illiterate Yale graduate.
Blueball singular? I guess that's what you get for going off half cocked.
Just go into WND and look at the comments……if you dare, I swear to dog, this is a website that exclusively caters to lunitics.
Ha ha. I read the first paragraph, then there was an ad for "Where's the Birf Certificat" — autographed! — and then another line of text, then an ad for acid reflux medicine. The end.
Damn. They're crazier than some of the shit that's encrusted on the back end of my gramma's fridge.
Are these birther nuts available for teabagging?
The jokes are autographic.
These are the same people who thought there was some magical connection between Obama and Osama because their names had some of the same letters, so…
I remember a closer relative of the president than that. Remember how his brother admitted in his divorce proceedings to catching herpes from hookers in Thailand?
Wait. What? That wasn't this President?
Edmund: "You know what "Irony" is , Baldrick? "
Baldrick : "Yes, it is just like "Goldy" and "Bronzy" but made of iron."
Blackadder FTW!
"and later in our program; at least a trillion
white babiessnowflakes were spontaneously aborted into teabagger trousers across the nation today. must be that global cooling they're on about all the time.""haha. thanks, Steve. have you ever tried eating discarded cans of hobo beans like goats do? well a company in Arkansas may make this a reality."
My parents had Billy Beer. Do we get Onyango Whiskey?
Is it an 'OUI' because it's a relative of Obama?
Edit: Dewey beat me to it..
They are just creaming themselves over on WND, the comments are delicious.
SNL was better in teh 80's! LMAO ROFL
DDDuh! 
LOL BBQ sistermother 
I love LOL BBQ FTW, LOL.
That's a bit stolen–I think it was SomethingAwful who created the OMGWTFBBQ meme.. Glad you had a laugh, though!
I have never used LOL before, because I swore I never would and now i have, but in an ironic way.
hey WND: you know those embarrassing family members that make you cringe with the crazy?
that's you.
This is just like all those times those people named Bush got arrested for drunk driving, only none of them actually had charges brought against them on account of being scions of a powerful and extremely wealthy family of career politicians. Or, for that matter, when the criminal idiocy wasn't "drunk driving", so much as "falsifying intelligence as a pretext to wage a war of aggression, false imprisonment of Arab-Americans en masse, torture, etc etc. etc."
But, you know, other than that, pretty much exactly the same!
if you want to see wabid, wild birther madness, you don't have to go to WorldNutDaily,,
Fox News is the real birther den here
It actually must have been really cool for the cops when they realized he was telling the truth when he said he was Obama's uncle. But don't worry, 'bama, I've got a lot of nut relatives too, it's no reflection on you.
Huh I didn't know Obama's uncle was a Republican.
Tomorrow should be a pleasant day — since the crazies are all going to be beating their brains out trying to figure out how this rises to the level of an impeachable offense.
Obama Onyango–sounds like a good guy to have a beer (or six) with.
Obama, Kenyan, Alien. I suppose if you beat these words down just right, they'll form any sentence.
The insane see vindication everywhere.
Onyango, I kinda' felt like I knew Roger Clinton. Roger Clinton, I wish, was a friend of mine. Onyango Obama, you're no Roger Clinton.
I'm tempted to say more Billy Carter – but in the end he was much more sad than funny.
Posing in the hat made from beer can poptop tabs was pathetic.
Guess I'm must gettin old…
Tom DeLay is on the phone right now with his attorney Dick DeGuerian in Houston telling him how he was so fucked not being from Kenya and what are his appeal options.
Dictionary.com say irony is "to use words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning". In this sense, virtually every WND article is ironic.
I like to read World Net Daily in order that I might have a firm grasp on that which did not happen.
Uncle Onyango was probably quite fortunate this happened in Framingham and not in Cambridge.
If one of my Uncle's got arrested for drunk driving and I heard about it, you know what I'd say? Piker!
It's times like this that I love having the last name "Williams". Is "Obama" the "Williams" of Kenya?
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