NEW STUDY PROVES IT  12:35 pm August 29, 2011

Everyone Agrees Gore Presidency Would’ve Been About the Same As Bush

by Ken Layne

Fake pictures: Meerkats are smarter than the people who take these polls.American voters now agree that an Al Gore presidency would’ve hardly been different from the disastrous eight-year reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See, we really have learned some stuff from Barack Obama! The latest weird Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of random questions proves that 56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White House would’ve been “not much different” than the venal plunder and racist war of the Bush Administration’s epic insanity. There’s not a huge difference of opinion across party lines, either: 57% of Republicans and 48% of Democrats sadly agree that there’s no real contrast between the ruling parties other than maybe “being a little bit more obvious about their intentions,” with Republicans winning that particular personality contest.

What else did the random Bar Trivia video game come up with for this month’s survey?

40 PERCENT SAY THEY HAVE FILED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES

MORE THAN HALF BELIEVE A NUCLEAR ATTACK WILL OCCUR DURING THEIR LIFETIME

55 PERCENT ARE PROUD TO STAND OUT AS AMERICANS WHEN TRAVELING ABROAD

Those 55% are self-described Republicans, and also they’ve probably never been out of the country. (Parking your car at the border south of San Diego and shining your headlights at potential Mexicans doesn’t count, no matter how many times the right-wing douche-clods at the local talk radio station play a riff from a 1970s rock song about taking drugs while telling you an impoverished Mestizo willing to pick lettuce for less than minimum wage is the problem with Our Economy.) [Vanity Fair/CBS News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 156 comments }

vulpes82 August 29, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Ken, you're backsliding! Step away from the Internet before you drag us all down into the Pit of Despair again!

Nothingisamiss August 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Don't listen (sorry vulpes82) I need the infusion of news!

orygoon August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

I'd rather spend an afternoon in Texas with a roofing crew today than relive the despair of the last months of 2000.

Or the eight years that followed.

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

"Pit of Despair?" Sounds like the GOP's favorite lesbiand bondage club.

nounverb911 August 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm

It might have been refreshing to have a president that could both read and macarena.

OC_Surf_Serf August 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm

there’s no real contrast….Bleach is pretty close to sugar…

Imagine NOT waging two wars, freeways of small 50mpg cars, a SS lock-box, a functioning FEMA, NO BUSH TAX CUTS and debt being paid down…

chicken_thief August 29, 2011 at 1:07 pm

But where would we be without the infamous Cheney quotes – "go fuck yourself" and "so what?" ?

mumbly_joe August 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

"You know, Reagan proved that deficits don't matter."

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I give up. Americans really are stupid.

Rotundo_ August 29, 2011 at 5:24 pm

I would love to know where they are sampling. I know idiots are everywhere, but there are actually people who think Al Gore would have fucked things up to the extent that Dubya did? I'm thinking at least one less stupid war, the tax cuts for the wealthy might have been mitigated if not eliminated and maybe, just maybe we might have accomplished something on the financial regulatory front. The way things look now, it will really take complete global financial ruin to budge the idiots into getting a leash on the banks again.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 6:47 pm

For over a decade now, I've been amassing my own data on this, and I know a shitload of people both IRL and virtually. Either they're all fucking lying, or not a single one of them, from Massachusetts to TX has EVER been part of a poll. Ever. It's always possible that there is a town somewhere in the heartland that has been designated the Official Poll Sample For America, but. I take it from your response that you have never participated in a poll of this sort either. Could you ask all your friends and acquaintances if any of them have? You know, just out of curiousity and what-all.

Indiepalin August 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

It's pronounced "nu-cu-lar"

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I thought it was "Nyew-kyoo-lar." No?

EatsBabyDingos August 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Bet weasels would rip my flesh before Tipper let them play Frank Zappa at a state dinner.

Indiepalin August 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm

"We are NOT groupies!!" – Suzy Creamcheese – Laurel Canyon

sunmusing August 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm

"Call any vegetable, call them by name." Frank Zappa. ohhh the colors……..what were we talking about?

Angry_Marmot August 29, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Man in a suit with a bow tie neck,
Wants to buy a grunt with a third-party check.

Neoyorquino August 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Movin' to Montana soon. Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.

Beowoof August 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm

raising it up, waxing it down, in a little white box I can sell uptown.

Ramon X August 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm

BIG SWIFTY AND ASSOCIATES…TREND MONGERS.
And what might you ask is a TREND MONGER?

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

God I love Frank so much.

And, for the size queens in the audience, the man had a dick the size of a horse's.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

In the years before his death, I understand Frank and Tipper made up. She's a dim bulb anyway. But Moon Unit let her sit in on drums for something she did.

Crank_Tango August 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Yes, because the Clinton presidency was EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME as the one that succeeded it.

Nothingisamiss August 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Srsly. WTF do people think?

Beowoof August 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

More proof that they don't, and Jersey Shore is on and then Dancing.

BarackMyWorld August 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm
chicken_thief August 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Monica blew Bush, too?!

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2011 at 1:35 pm

We're a nation of inbred morons who primarily obsorb new data from the voices on AM radio and what we read on the bottom of Snapple caps. Is it any wonder we're led by fools and charlatans? Wingnuts are by far the leaders of this stupid parade but lefties aren't too far behind. We convinced ourselves that both Clintons were Republicans and one of them was a monster. Not saying which one. We will soon be so dumb that we'll forego the need for a formal language. We'll communicate through a combination of grunts and upfists/downfists.

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 2:30 pm

And an upfist for you. Wait a minute . . .

GhostBuggy August 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm

This, exactly. One of my best friends was, at the time, really into the Green Party and Ralph Nader. Which is fine, if that's what most closely represents your ideals. But he would go on and on about how Gore and Bush were the same, they were just puppets controlled by the same puppeteer, etc. Then Bush "won" and now we have endless war forever.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Sounds like we have the same (spit!) friends.

ttommyunger August 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Sounds like a "Faux News Opinion Dynamics" (aka Bullshit) Poll, to me.

MissusBarry August 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm

So, the rethugs are more transparent about the nonconsensual corn syrup lube buttsecks they bring us and only in the closet about the rent boy buttsecks they so love?

Ducksworthy August 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Barry. The evidence is mounting that there is still plenty of room move boldly to the left. Compromising with the enemies of the republic is just not going to work out.

Actual people would give you money if you did this, although corporate persons maybe not so much.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:15 pm

You forget who has more money. He will definitely get boatloads of money for corporate whoring. Our $20 bills all added up won't equal a single of those boatloads.

SmutBoffin August 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm

The meerkat in the picture is signing up for a mortgage on her burrow, ca. 2003.

Bristol Palin lives there now.

Angry_Marmot August 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Meerkats are socially aware, intelligent, self-sacrificing, will work for hours to find a meal… Man has that neighborhood gone downhill.

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

She certainly fucks like one.

tihond August 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm

While I'm sure we might still have got involved in Afghanistan, I really don't get why people think Gore would have invaded Iraq. The Neo-Cons were wanking it to the idea of invading Iraq from the moment Bush was elected.

Ken Layne August 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Vice president Joe Lieberman, remember?

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Right. That smug, smegmoid prick.

SmutBoffin August 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

The bigBigBIG ratings of Gulf War I ensured there would be a sequel.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm

"This thing has LEGS!"

Nothingisamiss August 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

And I'm not even sure that we'd have gone to Afganistan. Probably, and we'd probably have complained that dems were sell outs. BUT imagine….no war in Iraq, decr. terrorists magically appearing because we're in Iraq, no financial meltdown. (I think, being fact based would've helped a lot if the economy started going down….which, since we would not have had Bush tax cuts and at least one war off the books, may not have happened.)

I'm boring today, I realize.

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I'm pretty sure 9/11 wouldn't've happened at all — not because Gore was brilliant or anything, but because a president who was at least half-reasonable would've heeded the warnings in time to mobilize our intelligence and law enforcement apparatus to do something, and the 9/11 Report makes clear that there was enough evidence lying around that it would've been picked up on.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm

There's a headline over at Raw Story or HuffPo or summat about how Bouchebag was SO VERY SURPRISED that 9/11 ever happened. Which, of course, just underlines the fact that the pathetic little dick paid no attention whatsoever to all the intel "chatter" we were picking up. I would like to kick him in the nuts until both my feet hurt, and then punch him in them for a few hours more.

edgydrifter August 29, 2011 at 12:44 pm

One difference is that Gore would have been blamed and condemned for 9/11. Probably impeached, too.

Maman August 29, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Tried and executed for treason more likely.

metamarcisf August 29, 2011 at 12:49 pm

"What is this 9/11 of which you speak?"

- Katherine Harris' plastic surgeon.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 1:07 pm

He, nor his administration, wouldn't be out shilling a shitload of books re-writing history, neither. No how.

chicken_thief August 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm

As it is, Clinton has to take the blame for the attack 8 months after he left office.

mumbly_joe August 29, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Speaking of which, how DARE Obama blame Bush for the economic collapse, just because it happened while Bush was in office, in an economy that Bush had presided over for 7 years, by that point.

sati_demise August 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Gore might have actually listened to Richard Clarke and shut down those flight schools

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Can you imagine what Limbaugh and the rest of the noise machine would have done with that one?

Chillwaver August 29, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Everyone Agrees Gore McCain Presidency Would’ve Been About the Same As Bush Obama.

There, fixed to be consistent with Ken's message.

SexySmurf August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Not true. If McCain was president, no one would give two tits about the budget deficit. But the US would still be bombing Libya (though McCain would probably be on MoMo's side).

WhatTheHeck August 29, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Survey says 98% of American voters are fucking idiots.

MildMidwesterner August 29, 2011 at 1:05 pm

… and 2% don't vote.

Beowoof August 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Damn I remember standing on street corner in Paris, outside Gare Montparnarsse on the Boulvard de Pastuer, and feeling mortified as the Murican was telling the vendor he was from Texas and knew that pizza slices was (his word) bigger in Texas. To this day I regret not going over and apologizing to the vendor for that Texas douche bag's rudeness.

Pragmatist2 August 29, 2011 at 12:49 pm

New rule: if your last name is a noun, you can't be president:
Bush, Gore, Ford, Carter, Hoover (for you Brits) and don't forget Johnson – all gone.

chicken_thief August 29, 2011 at 1:15 pm

From listening to Faux, I learned that "Obama" in Kenyan means "Manchurian Candidate", which I think is a noun but then, I didn't do so good in grammer….

savethispatient August 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm

All of them except Bush and (probably) Johnson are verbs too… that makes them doubly-disqualified, no?

mumbly_joe August 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

So no more Lincoln, either? Not sure I'm okay with that.

Alternatively, this means that Nixon became dictator for life, just like in Watchmen, right?

Pragmatist2 August 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Actually, since Lincoln was elected before "Lincoln" was a car name, I believe he would not eb disqualified thank to my fine lawyerly distinction.

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 2:34 pm

All our last names are nouns now.

OneYieldRegular August 29, 2011 at 12:49 pm

"55 PERCENT ARE PROUD TO STAND OUT AS AMERICANS WHEN TRAVELING ABROAD"

The pride is utterly unnecessary. This same 55% is instantly identifiable as American thanks to the volume of their voices, the carelessness of their attire, and their oblivious, entitled impatience with the "foreigners" who unwittingly serve as their hosts.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 12:53 pm

They call em' uglis

edgydrifter August 29, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Don't forget our magnificent girth.

fuflans August 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm

"what exactly am i trying to say? you're bunch of fucking elephants"

Crank_Tango August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm

don't forget the rotund fatness of their obesity.

axmxz August 29, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Since there's no mention of fatty fat fatness, you've described vacationing Germans.

sati_demise August 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm

but the fatty fat Germans can actually WALK.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Yes, but usually in XXXL tangerine thongs. Ugh.

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2011 at 1:42 pm

How do they stand out? Is it the 'Mercan flags on the scooters or the scooters themselves?

Buzz Feedback August 29, 2011 at 12:51 pm

One party rule works in the Middle East. It can work here!

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I keep saying Americans are too stupid to vote, but nobody listens to me.

Allmighty_Manos August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I think the readers thought the were being asked if the Obama presidency would have been about the same as Bush's.

EatsBabyDingos August 29, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I'm sure the Fox Gnus (new motto: Bewilderbeasts United) will conclude that Gore caused the 14 trillion dollar mess. And the pain and itch of hemmorrhoidal tissue.

Callyson August 29, 2011 at 12:56 pm

When I tried to open the Vanity Fair link, my computer momentarily crashed. Coincidence…or do 57% of Americans have something to hide?

dyedwool August 29, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I'm guessing it would have been PLENTY different. There was no Jarbara Gore.

chicken_thief August 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Excellent point! No tale of Jar Fetus with Dubya in the WH! And the world needed that story to be told.

Nostrildamus August 30, 2011 at 2:19 am

Depends on your definition of gore.

fuflans August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

AND 100% OF THOSE WITH A BRAIN THINK VANITY / CBS POLLS ARE FOR MORANS.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:34 pm

All I know is, in my whole life I have *never* ever received a single call from any pollsters, and neither has anyone that I know. Maybe they really are only polling the idiots. (No, I'm not one. I know this for a fact. Jeez. Doubting Thomases.)

Angry_Marmot August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Polls like this make me approach my teaching year with the thought, "I'm gonna need a bigger boat."

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Not if you're throwing them all over the side.

Angry_Marmot August 30, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Why do you think we call them "chum", chum?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I see I'm not the only one in a caffeine-fueled, procrastinating rage today.

BarackMyWorld August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Most respondents also agree that a Goldwater presidency would've been mostly the same as LBJ's second term, except for the "no Great Society" and "probable nuclear holocaust" parts.

ThundercatHo August 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Next time we have to hear about one of these dumbass surveys I want a video of Richard Dawson announcing the results plus a light-up scoreboard and some shitferbrains breeders bouncing up and down.

Angry_Marmot August 30, 2011 at 4:48 pm

"Name something people like to bite."

charlesdegoal August 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

From Truman to Obama, my contemporaries and I have happily survived, grown, procreated, gained weight, complained, read the newspapers and fornicated. Would I rather have lived under Louis XIII, Louis XIV or Louis XV? We're just grains of sand that some higher power kicks up in the air every now and then. Presidents are tiny creatures in the greater universe. They count for shit.

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Damned little fornication lately, though.

Rotundo_ August 29, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Some count for more shit than others (Dubya-are you listening out there?).

orygoon August 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm

It does make you want to give up.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Retardlican President fucks up entire country and world? Re-brand! Become an "Independent" or a "tea partier". Then, return same Retardlicans back to majority in the house, watch them behave moronically and childishly, and watch in horror as their poll numbers fall to an historic low. Then, get the media to do stupid polls like this, emphasizing the lack of difference between the two parties, because Retardlicans managed to tarnish themselves again by attempting to govern. They're exactly alike!

V572 T-Blow August 29, 2011 at 1:01 pm

How to stand out like a proud American when travelling abroad:

(1) Wear shorts and flip-flops on all occasions and in any venue. Your comfort is more important than anyone else's.
(2) Exhibit at every opportunity your firm belief that foreigners could understand English if it were only spoken loudly enough.
(3) Throng to McDonalds and the like to avoid eating frightening foreign foods.
(4) Demand ice in your drink, and not just one crummy clear cube handled with tongs like it's radioactive.
(5) Express outrage when an order for a Martini in Italy produces a glass of Vermouth.
(6) Decry the awful Socialist burden of VAT on your souvenir purchases, vow to recover it when you return, and fail to do so because it's too complicated.
(7) Insist on taking off your shoes flip-flops at the airport, despite signs in English telling you not to do so.

genxr August 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm

(8) Demand free refills, and if you don't get free refills complain about your rights, and threaten to call the American Embassy.
(9) Say, "I bet you wish you had the best health care system in the world, like we do."

V572 T-Blow August 29, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Your comment got there before I could add "Never fail to explain to English-speaking foreigners the superiority of the American version of any- and everything, except health care and pensions, cuz you'll lose that argument.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:41 pm

They would lose the argument if they ever bothered to fucking listen to anybody. Too many times, I've been in an argument with some idiot who insisted the health care system in the US was better, even while they're getting a cut-rate, but state-of-the-art triple coronary bypass someplace like Singapore, Malaysia, or Thailand.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Gripe loudly about the god-damned ferrin' money and how the duskies are ripping you off, and remember when a goddamn dollar was good anywhere?

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Oh, yeah, I remember a couple of friends visiting. They kept making fun of the money because "it's all these different colours and sizes, it's like play money." Of course, foreigners here have the exact opposite complaint. "Ohmygod, why didn't you tell me I gave that guy a $20 bill for something worth $5? All your money looks exactly alike!"

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:44 pm

What really pisses me off is when some yob from Buttfuck Texas tries to bargain with some native person who makes less in one year than yon slob makes in a day. That just makes me want to rip their heads off and stuff them up their own arses.

Angry_Marmot August 30, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Shoving their heads up their asses would be a redundancy.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 5:04 pm

How like an academic to go straight to the heart of the argument and winkle out the flaw therein!

ThundercatHo August 29, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Thanks V. I always wondered why my parents hated Paris so much.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:39 pm

(X+1) When in Asia, enter any temple, house of worship, or shrine with your giant SippyCup of Coke in one hand and your burger in the other. Pretend you don't understand what all the small gesticulating people mean when they say "No shoes! No shoes!"

(X+2) Always let your native hosts pick up the bill. It's OK for you to pick the restaurant (McDonalds) and order, but it makes them feel generous to pay.

(X+3) Remember that small, pretty native women dream all their lives of being manhandled by a fat lardass like you. Grab for their boobies, it makes them giggle. Ignore their feeble attempts to push you away. They HAVE to do that in public.

(X+4) Always offer a bite of your ham sandwich to your native hosts, even if they are Jewish or Muslim. It's only polite for them to refuse, so keep insisting.

GeorgiaBurning August 29, 2011 at 6:02 pm

-Ask for a "Bud Lite"

OneDollarJuana August 29, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Oh come now. While Cheney and Lieberman are both back-stabbing, hypocritical narcissists, there is no evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, that Lieberman has ever had whistle-blowers murdered.

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 2:00 pm

So… Lieberman is better at getting away with it?

glamourdammerung August 29, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Well, the Mossad is better about not blabbing than the CIA.

Goonemeritus August 29, 2011 at 1:02 pm

The average American knows more about how to roast a chicken on a bear can than the political platform of either party.

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Can you blame them when the platforms are a paradox?

Democrats: "We are in favor of everything the Republicans are in favor of."

Republicans: "We oppose everything the Democrats are in favor of."

And the Capitol disappeared in a puff of logic.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 29, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Well it is a Vanity Fair/60 Minutes joint poll. Before you take it I think you're require to prove you haven't paid attention to politics since that nice man Reagan was president and that you're over 90.

Weenus299 August 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

At some point Al Gore would've declared war on Texas, but that would've been fun and exciting.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:45 pm

First we got the bomb, and that was good
'Cause we believe in motherhood

We'll try to remain cool and calm
When Alabama gets the bomb, who's next?

Weenus299 August 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I think all of those born before Aug. 6, 1945 have already seen a nukular attack.

ManchuCandidate August 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Instead of VP Dick, it would have been VP Lieberman. Both would have cheerleaded a mess into Iraqinam, but I think Al Gore might have stayed away from there and saved a lot of lives and some 3 Trillion in China Bucks.

On the other hand, no Preznit Barry and instead perhaps Preznit… barf… Shithead Joe.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Shithead Joe could never manage more than a three-way tie for second place.

owhatever August 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm

After failing to win the presidency, George W. Bush made an award-winning documentary about the danger of eating pretzels alone.

Rotundo_ August 29, 2011 at 5:39 pm

He would still be gubner of Tejas or maybe the old man would get him the baseball comissioner gig he lusts for.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm

I'm sure that Al Gores deregulation of the banking industry and his wars agasint polar bears would have runined this country too.

Nothingisamiss August 29, 2011 at 1:05 pm

And I'm thinking Al might've listend to "Terrorists determined to strike US."

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Also, too. That putrid little fuckwit. I hate him with the heat of ten million suns.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 29, 2011 at 1:05 pm

55 PERCENT ARE PROUD TO STAND OUT AS AMERICANS WHEN TRAVELING ABROAD

You better be, as it is hard to disguise a hoverround.

nappyduggs August 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Turn this poll into a pie chart and roughly 57% of Americans would try to deep-fry and eat it on a stick. Also, the meerkat. They would deep-fry the meerkat.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I fucking love meerkats.

BTWBFDIMHO August 29, 2011 at 1:15 pm

55 % are proud blah blah when traveling abroad?!!?
I bet no more than 10% of the US population have ever crossed the border.

I checked and according to our Kenyan Administration, only 37% of the population have a passport. http://www.theexpeditioner.com/2010/02/17/how-man

What is freakier is what I read years ago: about half of US Congressmen/women don't have a passport. Now, with the recent infuse of hobbits, that proportion may be even higher.

mormos August 29, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Time reveals all things. Of the two candidates from the 2000 election, one is now a war criminal and one is now a nobel laureate. I think it's fair to say we made a mistake.

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 2:04 pm

By that token, we should elect Kissinger.

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 2:42 pm

What you mean we, white boy?

sunmusing August 29, 2011 at 1:23 pm

You folks at Wonkette always take all of the good snarks.

inapewetrust August 29, 2011 at 1:34 pm

is that more than half *believe* a nuclear attack will occur in their lifetime, or more than half *hope* a nuclear attack will occur in their lifetime? because sometimes it's like c'mon, let's just get this over with.

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2011 at 1:36 pm

I don't want to see either Gore or Dubya dancing or kissing another human being. So yeah, a Gore presidency would've been exactly the same.

MozakiBlocks August 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

I somehow think that old Al would have read the fucking Aug 6th memo entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike Within the US" and done something about it. And he damn sure wouldn't have been giving McCain a blow job…er…birthday cake while residents of a major US city fucking drowned even if they were black folks.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Yes. Al Gore would not have pulled a Katrina on us.

lulzmonger August 29, 2011 at 1:45 pm

56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White House would’ve been “not much different” than the venal plunder and racist war of the Bush Administration’s epic insanity.

"It's the stupidity, stupid."

Studebaker Hawk August 29, 2011 at 2:08 pm

What, did they only poll Nader voters?

Fred_Wertham_Jr August 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

We are so fucking fucked.

sati_demise August 29, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Rumor is Vanity Fair is radical right wing. (boycott please)

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Here are some things we would have missed out on that make all the other things we had to endure somehow worth it.

Freedom Fries

Known-unknowns

WMD's

Dead enders

Fifth Column

Yellowcake

Curveball

Aluminum tubes

IED's

I'm sure there are more

LiveToServeYa August 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

By the Rivers of Babylon, the God of History is laughing himself silly.

glamourdammerung August 29, 2011 at 5:52 pm

What Gore presidency? I am sure Lieberman's constituents would arrange a "happy coincidence" pretty early in Gore's term.

DarwinianDemon August 29, 2011 at 9:40 pm

So this is basically a combination of Republicans pretending Bush wasn't that bad and nitwit 3rd party dumbfucks. Good for them.

Negropolis August 29, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Yeah, 'cause Al Gore would have launched a conventional war in Afghanistan, then later when into Iraq, left Gulf Coast residents to stew in their own sewage and pollution after Katrina, whipped up anti-gay sentiment for his 2004 re-election, try to privatize everything not nailed down…need I go on?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 2:49 pm

No. I'm already vomiting. Thank you.

Negropolis August 30, 2011 at 11:26 pm

OT: I've noticed that you're awfully active, recently. What's up?

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 11:38 pm

I'm procrastinating instead of dealing with some needed and needing-to-be-scheduled surgery.

crybabyboehner August 30, 2011 at 3:48 am

Methinks the American people are forgetting about a little thing called "lockbox."

gurukalehuru August 30, 2011 at 8:21 am

The World Trade Center would still be standing because Al Gore is not Marvin Bush's brother.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I like the way you think.

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm

So… you know these guys pretty well?

HistoriCat August 30, 2011 at 3:04 pm

No better than any other member of the Wonketeriat!

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 3:22 pm

This worries me. I know the Wonketariat are sluts to the last man. Or woman.

HistoriCat August 30, 2011 at 3:40 pm

But sluts with standards!

MichelesPantalones August 30, 2011 at 3:59 pm

True. Strange and twisted standards, to be sure, but standards nonetheless. Thanks for easing the oil slick of uncertainty from off my fevered brow.

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