Everyone Agrees Gore Presidency Would've Been About the Same As Bush

 
 American voters now agree that an Al Gore presidency would've hardly been different from the disastrous eight-year reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See, we reallyhavelearned some stuff from Barack Obama! The latest weirdVanity Fair/CBS News poll of random questions proves that 56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White House would've been "not much different" than the venal plunder and racist war of the Bush Administration's epic insanity. There's not a huge difference of opinion across party lines, either: 57% of Republicans and 48% of Democrats sadly agree that there's no real contrast between the ruling parties other than maybe "being a little bit more obvious about their intentions," with Republicans winning that particular personality contest.

What else did the random Bar Trivia video game come up with for this month's survey? 

40 PERCENT SAY THEY HAVE FILED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES

MORE THAN HALF BELIEVE A NUCLEAR ATTACK WILL OCCUR DURING THEIR LIFETIME

55 PERCENT ARE PROUD TO STAND OUT AS AMERICANS WHEN TRAVELING ABROAD

Those 55% are self-described Republicans, and also they've probably never been out of the country. (Parking your car at the border south of San Diego and shining your headlights at potential Mexicans doesn't count, no matter how many times the right-wing douche-clods at the local talk radio station play a riff from a 1970s rock song about taking drugs while telling you an impoverished Mestizo willing to pick lettuce for less than minimum wage is the problem with Our Economy.) [ Vanity Fair/CBS News ]