Rick Perry Decries New Social Security ‘Tax’ That Has Always Existed

  god prefers poor people

god is all the social security that millionaire rick perry will ever need.We missed the exact point in time when a millionaire Jesus freak presidential candidate could march in front of a crowd of ordinary Iowans and inform them their Social Security checks are slowly murdering everybody in their sleep to a round of applause, but somehow here is Rick Perry telling everyone Social Security is a “monstrous lie” ordained by Satan to keep millions of elderly people from slipping into poverty. Well, hey, that whole “God wants you all to be poor while I get rich” line has been working on millions of devout Christians ever since there was a Pope, so why not for Rick Perry?

Some weird woman who has been asleep for the last seven decades asks Perry why “this administration” is promoting Social Security as an entitlement on the teevee lately, to which Perry responds, “it’s turned into a tax now.” Social Security funds have always been collected in the form of a payroll tax, so uh, HORROR.

Whatever, everyone just forward your Social Security money to the Pope or Rick Perry, who will send your requests to God, who will incinerate them in a Texas drought. [ThinkProgress]

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121 comments

  1. nounverb911

    "who will send your requests to God, who will incinerate them in a Texas drought"
    My prayers have been answered.

    1. SmutBoffin

      It's not coffee! Rick Perry told the assembled simpletons that it was "Texas tea" (= poisoned landfill runoff) and that Barack Obama didn't want them to have any.

      They fell over themselves to get a steaming mugful.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        I regret to say that, after listening to that clip, I am now willing to believe this. Or anything else you might want to shovel in my direction.

    2. Veritas78

      That's actually lube. They use a lot of it in Tejas. The one on the right is sanitizer, of which they should use more.

        1. DustBowlBlues

          For the record, some of us who live in garden spots like the Dust Bowls (Texas qualifies now) get a little weary of being asked that by the wonkeratti.

          It's like why a person climbs Mt. Everest. Because OK and TX are here. The latter is as taxing mentally as the former is physically.

          1. jus_wonderin

            When asked I tell them because Dallas is a nexus for the video gaming industry for which I work. I could have stayed a teacher in Louisiana but I would have put a bullet in my temple by now.

        2. Boredw/Gravitas

          Mostly due to aging parents living here. I did try to emigrate to Canada once. Does that count?

  2. Tundra Grifter

    I continue to be astonished that folks collecting Social Security and Medicare don't think these are Federal government welfare programs.

    I guess there's a reason the line-item in the budget for them is "Entitlements."

      1. Oblios_Cap

        Actually, it's the size of the bankbook that matters more than the color of the skin.

        See Royal Family, Saudi.

  3. SorosBot

    Promising to eliminate Social Security; yep, that's a good campaign strategy when running for the nomination of a party whose base is 90% older than 60.

    1. fuflans

      yeah, but as balder just said, they're too stupid to realize it.

      or as with baggers and honey badgers just don't give a shit about anyone else as long as they got theirs.

    2. MichelesPantalones

      Yeah, but did you hear that idiot woman babbling on about how THIS administration is now telling the Oldz and Poorz that Social Security is a enTITE-UHL-ment? Because all those years before today, we had WHITE PrezDUHents, and they never gave a penny to anybody until that black, black, black USURPER came in and started emptying out the coin purses in the white house?

      These people make me crazy, I swear. They're ignorant as fuck-all, and too thick to realize it.

      1. Negropolis

        I took what she said completely the opposite, though, admittedly, you don't get to hear her finish the sentence. The way I took it was that she made the point was that SS is something we pay into.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          Huh. That's not how it sounded to me, but then again, I can be (a) a bit deef; (b) a bit thick; and (c) a bit stoned out of my gourd at times.

          I shall take what you say under advisement and ponder thereupon, in my ponderous fashion.

  4. genxr

    We have to stop Obama's government expansion before he turns the IRS into some kind of tax collecting agency.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          True. I'm almost — almost — tempted to call for the end of Social Security myself, despite almost certainly starving to death as a result, just to get rid of these hateful, ignorant FUCKS.

  5. memzilla

    Imagine stealing Gov. Rick "Goodhair" Perry's identity, and being so repulsed by it that you give it back… minus teh munniez, of course.

    1. poncho_pilot

      the look on his wife's face when you tell her that you want to get it on (with her) would be priceless.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        If you're referring to that porcine blonde with the 36 XtraLong titties who was standing by his side, you go right ahead. And don't post pictures, we'll take your word for it.

  6. freakishlywrong

    "monstrous lie". No hyper-bole there, eh? Helping seniors have a little dignity and independence after a lifetime of working, from a system to which we all contribute, is now a monstrous lie. And they'll still vote for him. (Retardlican, white).

  7. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Meanwhile:

    Hottest day in Houston's history

    The mercury hit 109°F (42.8°C) yesterday at Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport, tying September 4, 2000 as the hottest day in the city's history. Yesterday was the also the hottest August day on record in Houston, besting the 108°F reading of August 18, 1909. This year, Houston has set its record for all-time hottest temperature, most 100° days in a year (36, old record was 32, and 4 is normal), and most consecutive 100° days (24, old record was 14.) Weather records in Houston go back to 1889.

    (From Jeff Masters at weather underground)

    File this under "Science", "Praying Away The Drought", and "The Schaden Freuds Itself".
    ~

      1. MichelesPantalones

        Bachmann thinks that god-signing is currently limited to small earthquakelets and hurricanes/flooding. Heat/drought are godly, so far.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Ricky boy thinks that the country under Obama is going to Hell. Hell seems to be starting to make itself known in Houston. Figures. Go, Ricky, go. Very far away…

  8. Trannysurprise

    Uh, where's his ass? Those "mom khaki's" he has hiked to his nipples aren't doing him any favors.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Listen, there's people right here at Wonkette who never want to hear about Rick DinglePerry's nip-nips, ever again.

  9. DaRooster

    We are doomed… Hey people… they just want your money so they can make the rich richer, the poor poorer and keep raping the planet for financial gain… FYI.

  10. GuyClinch

    Perry is himself a kind of tax, since he forces listeners to part with considerable brain cells every time he opens his stupid piehole (cockhole).

    1. MissusBarry

      I can't tell the difference between the emissions of his piehole-cockhole and his poopchute-cockhole.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          DinglePerry happens.

          I can't remember which of you Wonketteerz I stole "DinglePerry" from, but thanks, y'all.

  11. Bots Meat Commission

    Rick Perry's entire political career is really just payback for the time all those crazy Deltas stole his horse and put it in Dean Wormer's office.

  12. x111e7thst

    Maybe Michele Bachmann's God will send some sort of disaster to smite Rick and the idiots who elected him. Like a drought or wildfires or maybe both..

  13. smashaduck

    Just wait till Ricky W. Perry finds out some librul amended the constitution to allow income tax. Repeal the 16th!!!1!!!1

  14. OneYieldRegular

    I will gladly accept that woman's Social Security checks to protect her from the horror of feeling entitled.

  15. Pragmatist2

    I am announcing three days of prayer and fasting for God to make Rick Perry the Republican candidate for President. I want to see him tortured in public for 6 months of national campaigning.

    1. kissawookiee

      Skimming the comments, this one first registered in my brain as "three days of prayer and farting," which would probably be more appropriate and/or effective.

  16. a_pink_poodle

    That guy in the first article photo looks like a real douchebag with his cavalry boots and poofy pants and his sword like he's actually gone into battle before. He's not anyone important, is he?

  17. Serolf_Divad

    Step 1: Call Social Security a Tax
    Step 2: Campaign on a promise to eliminate taxes.
    Step 3: Eliminate Social Security.

    The plan is brilliantly stupid. I'm just stuck on whether it's more brilliant than stupid or more stupid than brilliant.

    I guess it will be a nice test of the intelligence of the American voter.

  18. ThundercatHo

    "If all y'all would just fuckin' die already then we wouldn't have all this here debt." (Rick Perry's speech to AARP)

  19. Oblios_Cap

    They really do make them bigger in Texas. Especially incredibly stupid bible-thumping closeted homosexual GOP governors.

  20. metamarcisf

    The so-called payroll "tax" is actually a premium paid by employees to fund their unconstitutional social(ist) security. This is why Rick Perry and the GOP favor the repeal of the payroll "tax" reduction foisted on us by the Obama administration. It's ok to lower taxes on employers so jobs can be created. However, it is not ok to allow employees to keep more of their money which can be used to contribute to democrap political campaigns.

  21. Indiepalin

    Instead of wasting his time trying to explain constitutional policy to demented seniors, why doesn't Perry ask Jesus to curb the worst drought in Texas history by "making it rain, man"?

  22. DaSandman

    How the fuck is it that this Austin cum stain is running to lead a government he previously wanted to secede from?

    1. Oblios_Cap

      Pretty much ranks up there with TeaTards running for Congress and saying that gubbermint is useless, huh?

  23. ManchuCandidate

    The choice for 2012 is Social Security (with a Nigra in charge) or Soylent Green (with a white Christian in charge.)

    It looks many olds will pick being turned into Soylent Green than have a Nearer in the White House.

  24. MissusBarry

    Dear P-Ricky, If my parents ever have to move in with me, I will be shoving your custom made cowboy boots up your bum simultaneously.

    Dear Oldz, What happened to older and wiser? Even if you don't give a flying fuck about anybody else, perhaps you can still put the bible down and vote in your own best interests.

  25. EatsBabyDingos

    I'd care what Gov. Nuttyputty has to say if he was another gay republican state senator from Puerto Roico caught showing off his Chris Lee pecs.

  26. yyyaz

    "Stand up close, listening won't cost you a dime. And if you believe that, we're gonna get along just fine." — Steve Earle

  27. V572 T-Blow

    People believe that every dollar they get out of Soshecurity is one they put in there, and that's true…for the first four years or so. After that, they're on the dole just like a fat black mommas in the ghett-toh living off the revenue of five ADC babies. Except that meme was killed by Clinton years ago, so really, the new model of undeserving recipients of Federal largesse should be Soshecurity recipients older than 70. Lazy old bastards sucking down my paycheck…

    Medicare's more of a crapshoot — everybody (except hedge fund managers and other rent-seeking social parasites) pays in; some win the jackpot by dying slowly; others finance them by punching out quickly. Everybody's a winner!

  28. WhatTheHeck

    It’s a Texas two-step.
    Step 1: Privatize SS and let the SS Fund Managers mis-manage and bankrupt the SS Investments.
    Step 2: No more SS..

      1. unclejeems

        Not exactly. It's a modified Texas A & M outfit, which itself is based on, obviously, uniforms worn by members of the Nazi ShutzStaffel. Obviously.

        Those old boys are real dedicated military types, 'til they graduate. Then they join daddy at the bank. It's all good bull, dontcha know.

  29. Mumbletypeg

    I’m not sure how long Texas’ First Couple can pose in this reformer position when the scrutiny of his & her own incomes keeps building. Hers in particular:

    "From 2004 to 2009, Anita Perry reported average annual pay of $63,111 from work with the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault.”

    Glad the rape survivors are getting a helping hand. But it strikes me as funny — by which I mean ‘sickening’ — how much their first lady helps herself to compensation for her efforts: $63,111 amounts to nearly as much as when she, Mrs. Perry, worked as an economic consultant in 2001, taking in $66,000. And this bit is just from thepersonal-crisis-tide-riding alone; who knows how much else she's bamboozled "aiding" other efforts in 2010?

    Oh yeah.. the Perry administration doesn't want you to have too much info about their financial in's & out's.

  30. fuflans

    has been working on millions of devout Christians ever since there was a Pope, so why not for Rick Perry?

    to be fair, rickie would look fabulous in those prada pope shoes.

  31. DemonicRage

    Video is shot from a funny angle, featuring candidate's ass. Should not have worn those oversize khakis if he wanted to appeal to beefy ass cheek fan voters.

  32. Eve8Apples

    By the time the campaign is over, Perry will make W. look like a genius. Texas A & M must be so proud.

  33. owhatever

    It's turned into a tax now, and we'uns hate taxes, so we'll eliminate it and you will no longer receive those Social Security checks, you ole bat. Crawl off and die. Thank you for the question.

  34. BTWBFDIMHO

    Actually, Obama tried to cut payroll taxes, but guess who opposed such tax cut? Yes, dear, the Republicans. Why? Because these are taxes on worker's income, and they don't give a shit about it. They just care about tax cuts for the rich and famous.
    “It’s always a net positive to let taxpayers keep more of what they earn,” says Rep. Jeb Hensarling, “but not all tax relief is created equal for the purposes of helping to get the economy moving again.”
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/pos

    I posted this because I'm sure that lady who questioned Perry reads Wonkette.

  35. Callyson

    When they write the history books on the 2012 election, will Obama's re – election be credited to anything other than the sheer stupidity of his opposition?

  36. BarackMyWorld

    I tried to wrap my head around their reasoning but soon realized my cranium wasn't made of silly putty.

  37. fartknocker

    In Rick's little world, all government is bad. That is, until you go speak at the National Convention of the VFW in San Antonio. At this little shin-dig, Rick announced that pre-emptive military action is a good thing. Ya know, fuck democracy because I got bigger, more expensive and precise weapon systems:
    http://blog.chron.com/rickperry/2011/08/3418/

    And now you understand Rick's modus operandi: pander to everyone who will give him money, take a few votes, and become resident goat fucker/correspondent on Fox. Not suprising, he'll probably move passed Mitt in the next series of polls.

  38. SayItWithWookies

    Social Security is a new tax to Rick Perry because Rick Perry is actually part beagle — everything is brand new to him all the time. Which makes licking himself a constant surprise and delight, but does little for his executive abilities.

  39. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Finally, a politician who is willing to keep the government out of government programs!

  40. donner_froh

    I couldn't really understand what the woman in the audience was asking but his answer was clearly "Shut up and listen to me talk about taxes and evil black people."

  41. Guppy06

    Next he'll be talking about cutting the child support "tax" certain members of his party have trouble paying…

  42. mormos

    “The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience”

    Albert Camus

  43. inapewetrust

    yes, it is outrageous how social security is funded by taxes. instead of the government stealing this money from people that they get back when they retire, that money should instead go into private savings accounts for wall street to loot and reduce to rubble and ashes.

  44. JustPixelz

    Honor your father and your mother. It's hard to do and may cost 6.2% of your income, but the Bible sez ya gotta do it. OK, technically that's honoring everyone's fathers and mothers. And honoring some spinsters and confirmed bachelors who never had kids.

    But here's a quick way to eliminate social security: Parents move in with their kids. And if the kids take 'em to the doctor, we can eliminate Medicare too!.

  45. MichelesPantalones

    Christ! Who is that STUPID, stupid, stupid woman? Are all Americans this stupid? Jesus Christ, where am I? Am I still in 'Murka, or am I secretly an Afghanistani with excellent intertoobz connectivity?

  46. Schmegeg

    Please, Rick Perry, run on a platform for repealing Social Security. And take Rick Santorum as VP. "RickRick" Guaranteed to get 31% of the vote.

  47. Negropolis

    I don't care what the liberal pessimists say, Perry's ass is toast with a spread of santorum. America as a whole is stupid; it ain't Rick Perry stupid.

  48. DahBoner

    "Perry responds, “it’s turned into a tax now."

    It didn't used to be like this, back when Perry was Al Gore's campaign manager

Comments are closed.