GOD PREFERS POOR PEOPLE  12:10 pm August 29, 2011

Rick Perry Decries New Social Security ‘Tax’ That Has Always Existed

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

god is all the social security that millionaire rick perry will ever need.We missed the exact point in time when a millionaire Jesus freak presidential candidate could march in front of a crowd of ordinary Iowans and inform them their Social Security checks are slowly murdering everybody in their sleep to a round of applause, but somehow here is Rick Perry telling everyone Social Security is a “monstrous lie” ordained by Satan to keep millions of elderly people from slipping into poverty. Well, hey, that whole “God wants you all to be poor while I get rich” line has been working on millions of devout Christians ever since there was a Pope, so why not for Rick Perry?

Some weird woman who has been asleep for the last seven decades asks Perry why “this administration” is promoting Social Security as an entitlement on the teevee lately, to which Perry responds, “it’s turned into a tax now.” Social Security funds have always been collected in the form of a payroll tax, so uh, HORROR.

Whatever, everyone just forward your Social Security money to the Pope or Rick Perry, who will send your requests to God, who will incinerate them in a Texas drought. [ThinkProgress]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 121 comments }

nounverb911 August 29, 2011 at 12:12 pm

"who will send your requests to God, who will incinerate them in a Texas drought"
My prayers have been answered.

tihond August 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Rick Perry remembers the income donation program, and is pissed that Obama turned it into a tax.

DaRooster August 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Needs more airpots of coffee…

SmutBoffin August 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm

It's not coffee! Rick Perry told the assembled simpletons that it was "Texas tea" (= poisoned landfill runoff) and that Barack Obama didn't want them to have any.

They fell over themselves to get a steaming mugful.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I regret to say that, after listening to that clip, I am now willing to believe this. Or anything else you might want to shovel in my direction.

Veritas78 August 29, 2011 at 7:10 pm

That's actually lube. They use a lot of it in Tejas. The one on the right is sanitizer, of which they should use more.

nounverb911 August 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Rick Perry is a sign from God that Texans are moronic simpletons.

Boredw/Gravitas August 29, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Well, mostly. Some of us are Wonkett blog-types also, too.

OneDollarJuana August 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm

If you're so smart, how come you still live in Texas?

DustBowlBlues August 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm

For the record, some of us who live in garden spots like the Dust Bowls (Texas qualifies now) get a little weary of being asked that by the wonkeratti.

It's like why a person climbs Mt. Everest. Because OK and TX are here. The latter is as taxing mentally as the former is physically.

jus_wonderin August 29, 2011 at 1:23 pm

When asked I tell them because Dallas is a nexus for the video gaming industry for which I work. I could have stayed a teacher in Louisiana but I would have put a bullet in my temple by now.

Boredw/Gravitas August 29, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Mostly due to aging parents living here. I did try to emigrate to Canada once. Does that count?

Oblios_Cap August 29, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Present company excluded, of course.

Tundra Grifter August 29, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I continue to be astonished that folks collecting Social Security and Medicare don't think these are Federal government welfare programs.

I guess there's a reason the line-item in the budget for them is "Entitlements."

SorosBot August 29, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Silly, it's only welfare when it benefits non-white people.

Oblios_Cap August 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Actually, it's the size of the bankbook that matters more than the color of the skin.

See Royal Family, Saudi.

Tundra Grifter August 29, 2011 at 7:35 pm

SB: It certainly doesn't appear to be "welfare" when it supports corporations.

SorosBot August 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Promising to eliminate Social Security; yep, that's a good campaign strategy when running for the nomination of a party whose base is 90% older than 60.

fuflans August 29, 2011 at 12:51 pm

yeah, but as balder just said, they're too stupid to realize it.

or as with baggers and honey badgers just don't give a shit about anyone else as long as they got theirs.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Yeah, but did you hear that idiot woman babbling on about how THIS administration is now telling the Oldz and Poorz that Social Security is a enTITE-UHL-ment? Because all those years before today, we had WHITE PrezDUHents, and they never gave a penny to anybody until that black, black, black USURPER came in and started emptying out the coin purses in the white house?

These people make me crazy, I swear. They're ignorant as fuck-all, and too thick to realize it.

Negropolis August 29, 2011 at 10:27 pm

I took what she said completely the opposite, though, admittedly, you don't get to hear her finish the sentence. The way I took it was that she made the point was that SS is something we pay into.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Huh. That's not how it sounded to me, but then again, I can be (a) a bit deef; (b) a bit thick; and (c) a bit stoned out of my gourd at times.

I shall take what you say under advisement and ponder thereupon, in my ponderous fashion.

zhubajie August 29, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Iowa has a LARGE number of elderly people, more than most places.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Where do they all come from? Where have all teh Youngz fled?

zhubajie August 30, 2011 at 2:18 am

>

Nostrildamus August 30, 2011 at 2:07 am

If you're pointing at Courtney, you need to aim higher.

genxr August 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

We have to stop Obama's government expansion before he turns the IRS into some kind of tax collecting agency.

Oblios_Cap August 29, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Or the military into some kinda force that occupies other countries, for freedumbz.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Or a "social" agency that keeps issueing checks to keep old, hateful people alive…

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:55 pm

True. I'm almost — almost — tempted to call for the end of Social Security myself, despite almost certainly starving to death as a result, just to get rid of these hateful, ignorant FUCKS.

memzilla August 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Imagine stealing Gov. Rick "Goodhair" Perry's identity, and being so repulsed by it that you give it back… minus teh munniez, of course.

poncho_pilot August 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm

the look on his wife's face when you tell her that you want to get it on (with her) would be priceless.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:56 pm

If you're referring to that porcine blonde with the 36 XtraLong titties who was standing by his side, you go right ahead. And don't post pictures, we'll take your word for it.

freakishlywrong August 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

"monstrous lie". No hyper-bole there, eh? Helping seniors have a little dignity and independence after a lifetime of working, from a system to which we all contribute, is now a monstrous lie. And they'll still vote for him. (Retardlican, white).

SpurningBeer August 29, 2011 at 12:16 pm

You don't have to maintain a D average at Texas A&M to know that the word "tax" is not spelled "F-I-C-A."

ifthethunderdontgetya August 29, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Meanwhile:

Hottest day in Houston's history

The mercury hit 109°F (42.8°C) yesterday at Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport, tying September 4, 2000 as the hottest day in the city's history. Yesterday was the also the hottest August day on record in Houston, besting the 108°F reading of August 18, 1909. This year, Houston has set its record for all-time hottest temperature, most 100° days in a year (36, old record was 32, and 4 is normal), and most consecutive 100° days (24, old record was 14.) Weather records in Houston go back to 1889.

(From Jeff Masters at weather underground)

File this under "Science", "Praying Away The Drought", and "The Schaden Freuds Itself".
~

Polythene_Pam August 29, 2011 at 12:46 pm

The drought is clearly a sign from god.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Bachmann thinks that god-signing is currently limited to small earthquakelets and hurricanes/flooding. Heat/drought are godly, so far.

Dudleydidwrong August 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Ricky boy thinks that the country under Obama is going to Hell. Hell seems to be starting to make itself known in Houston. Figures. Go, Ricky, go. Very far away…

Trannysurprise August 29, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Uh, where's his ass? Those "mom khaki's" he has hiked to his nipples aren't doing him any favors.

ttommyunger August 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Right in front of the mike, Tranny; he's speaking out of it, as usual.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Listen, there's people right here at Wonkette who never want to hear about Rick DinglePerry's nip-nips, ever again.

DaRooster August 29, 2011 at 12:18 pm

We are doomed… Hey people… they just want your money so they can make the rich richer, the poor poorer and keep raping the planet for financial gain… FYI.

GuyClinch August 29, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Perry is himself a kind of tax, since he forces listeners to part with considerable brain cells every time he opens his stupid piehole (cockhole).

MissusBarry August 29, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I can't tell the difference between the emissions of his piehole-cockhole and his poopchute-cockhole.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:35 pm

All we know is Shit happens….

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 5:01 pm

DinglePerry happens.

I can't remember which of you Wonketteerz I stole "DinglePerry" from, but thanks, y'all.

edgydrifter August 29, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Keep your government hands off my government money!!

Bots Meat Commission August 29, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Rick Perry's entire political career is really just payback for the time all those crazy Deltas stole his horse and put it in Dean Wormer's office.

Dudleydidwrong August 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

After bouncing a golf ball off his tinfoil hat.

x111e7thst August 29, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Maybe Michele Bachmann's God will send some sort of disaster to smite Rick and the idiots who elected him. Like a drought or wildfires or maybe both..

smashaduck August 29, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Just wait till Ricky W. Perry finds out some librul amended the constitution to allow income tax. Repeal the 16th!!!1!!!1

genxr August 29, 2011 at 12:23 pm

And some commie socialist put the word "welfare" in the constitushun.

OneYieldRegular August 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I will gladly accept that woman's Social Security checks to protect her from the horror of feeling entitled.

Pragmatist2 August 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I am announcing three days of prayer and fasting for God to make Rick Perry the Republican candidate for President. I want to see him tortured in public for 6 months of national campaigning.

kissawookiee August 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Skimming the comments, this one first registered in my brain as "three days of prayer and farting," which would probably be more appropriate and/or effective.

a_pink_poodle August 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

That guy in the first article photo looks like a real douchebag with his cavalry boots and poofy pants and his sword like he's actually gone into battle before. He's not anyone important, is he?

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm

It's a Texas Aggie thing. The rest of us just wouldn't understand. Gott sei dank.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:27 pm

No.

Serolf_Divad August 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Step 1: Call Social Security a Tax
Step 2: Campaign on a promise to eliminate taxes.
Step 3: Eliminate Social Security.

The plan is brilliantly stupid. I'm just stuck on whether it's more brilliant than stupid or more stupid than brilliant.

I guess it will be a nice test of the intelligence of the American voter.

poncho_pilot August 29, 2011 at 12:40 pm

It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh…clever.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Rich people don't get rich by paying taxes….

emmelemm August 29, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Test… failed.

ThundercatHo August 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm

"If all y'all would just fuckin' die already then we wouldn't have all this here debt." (Rick Perry's speech to AARP)

Oblios_Cap August 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm

They really do make them bigger in Texas. Especially incredibly stupid bible-thumping closeted homosexual GOP governors.

Buzz Feedback August 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Book learnin' is for pussies and commies.

metamarcisf August 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm

The so-called payroll "tax" is actually a premium paid by employees to fund their unconstitutional social(ist) security. This is why Rick Perry and the GOP favor the repeal of the payroll "tax" reduction foisted on us by the Obama administration. It's ok to lower taxes on employers so jobs can be created. However, it is not ok to allow employees to keep more of their money which can be used to contribute to democrap political campaigns.

Indiepalin August 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Instead of wasting his time trying to explain constitutional policy to demented seniors, why doesn't Perry ask Jesus to curb the worst drought in Texas history by "making it rain, man"?

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Crickets….

EatsBabyDingos August 29, 2011 at 12:32 pm

The Unsocial Insecurity Act of 2011.

Ducksworthy August 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Sociopathic Insecurity Act.

DaSandman August 29, 2011 at 12:32 pm

How the fuck is it that this Austin cum stain is running to lead a government he previously wanted to secede from?

Oblios_Cap August 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Pretty much ranks up there with TeaTards running for Congress and saying that gubbermint is useless, huh?

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

He's got a theory that government is the enemy — and he means to prove it.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:23 pm

First you rape it, then ya secede it….

ManchuCandidate August 29, 2011 at 12:33 pm

The choice for 2012 is Social Security (with a Nigra in charge) or Soylent Green (with a white Christian in charge.)

It looks many olds will pick being turned into Soylent Green than have a Nearer in the White House.

MissusBarry August 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Dear P-Ricky, If my parents ever have to move in with me, I will be shoving your custom made cowboy boots up your bum simultaneously.

Dear Oldz, What happened to older and wiser? Even if you don't give a flying fuck about anybody else, perhaps you can still put the bible down and vote in your own best interests.

Ducksworthy August 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm

The Gawd Ricky keeps referring to is evidently Cthulhu.

poncho_pilot August 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Cthulhu don't care. Cthulhu don't give a shit.

EatsBabyDingos August 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I'd care what Gov. Nuttyputty has to say if he was another gay republican state senator from Puerto Roico caught showing off his Chris Lee pecs.

ttommyunger August 29, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Neat costume, Ricky. Is that the Meritorious Cheerleading Medal on your (Brown) shirt?

poncho_pilot August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Well, this one is for typing. This one is for dart champion. This one is for surfing.

ttommyunger August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Eggzackly!

ttommyunger August 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Note: "current administration" = the black guy.

yyyaz August 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm

"Stand up close, listening won't cost you a dime. And if you believe that, we're gonna get along just fine." — Steve Earle

V572 T-Blow August 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

People believe that every dollar they get out of Soshecurity is one they put in there, and that's true…for the first four years or so. After that, they're on the dole just like a fat black mommas in the ghett-toh living off the revenue of five ADC babies. Except that meme was killed by Clinton years ago, so really, the new model of undeserving recipients of Federal largesse should be Soshecurity recipients older than 70. Lazy old bastards sucking down my paycheck…

Medicare's more of a crapshoot — everybody (except hedge fund managers and other rent-seeking social parasites) pays in; some win the jackpot by dying slowly; others finance them by punching out quickly. Everybody's a winner!

WhatTheHeck August 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm

It’s a Texas two-step.
Step 1: Privatize SS and let the SS Fund Managers mis-manage and bankrupt the SS Investments.
Step 2: No more SS..

SpurningBeer August 29, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Is that really an SS uniform old Bible Britches is wearing at the top of the page?

unclejeems August 29, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Not exactly. It's a modified Texas A & M outfit, which itself is based on, obviously, uniforms worn by members of the Nazi ShutzStaffel. Obviously.

Those old boys are real dedicated military types, 'til they graduate. Then they join daddy at the bank. It's all good bull, dontcha know.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Glad to hear somebody gonna be gettin' rich off SS…

Mumbletypeg August 29, 2011 at 12:52 pm

I’m not sure how long Texas’ First Couple can pose in this reformer position when the scrutiny of his & her own incomes keeps building. Hers in particular:

"From 2004 to 2009, Anita Perry reported average annual pay of $63,111 from work with the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault.”

Glad the rape survivors are getting a helping hand. But it strikes me as funny — by which I mean ‘sickening’ — how much their first lady helps herself to compensation for her efforts: $63,111 amounts to nearly as much as when she, Mrs. Perry, worked as an economic consultant in 2001, taking in $66,000. And this bit is just from thepersonal-crisis-tide-riding alone; who knows how much else she's bamboozled "aiding" other efforts in 2010?

Oh yeah.. the Perry administration doesn't want you to have too much info about their financial in's & out's.

sunmusing August 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I've never tried the reformer position before, is it like doggie position? I must ask her where I can find a job like that.

fuflans August 29, 2011 at 12:53 pm

has been working on millions of devout Christians ever since there was a Pope, so why not for Rick Perry?

to be fair, rickie would look fabulous in those prada pope shoes.

DemonicRage August 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Video is shot from a funny angle, featuring candidate's ass. Should not have worn those oversize khakis if he wanted to appeal to beefy ass cheek fan voters.

Eve8Apples August 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm

By the time the campaign is over, Perry will make W. look like a genius. Texas A & M must be so proud.

owhatever August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

It's turned into a tax now, and we'uns hate taxes, so we'll eliminate it and you will no longer receive those Social Security checks, you ole bat. Crawl off and die. Thank you for the question.

BTWBFDIMHO August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Actually, Obama tried to cut payroll taxes, but guess who opposed such tax cut? Yes, dear, the Republicans. Why? Because these are taxes on worker's income, and they don't give a shit about it. They just care about tax cuts for the rich and famous.
“It’s always a net positive to let taxpayers keep more of what they earn,” says Rep. Jeb Hensarling, “but not all tax relief is created equal for the purposes of helping to get the economy moving again.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/pos

I posted this because I'm sure that lady who questioned Perry reads Wonkette.

elviouslyqueer August 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Shorter Hensarling: "Whatever the nigger wants is a 'no' in my book."

genxr August 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm

(Looking at paycheck) Who's FICA? And why do I owe him money?

Callyson August 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

When they write the history books on the 2012 election, will Obama's re – election be credited to anything other than the sheer stupidity of his opposition?

BarackMyWorld August 29, 2011 at 1:07 pm

I tried to wrap my head around their reasoning but soon realized my cranium wasn't made of silly putty.

Terry August 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I truly believe that Rick Perry gets most of his "facts" from forwarded emails.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:08 pm

If you believe Perry gets his facts from forwarded e-mails:

PASS IT ON!

fartknocker August 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm

In Rick's little world, all government is bad. That is, until you go speak at the National Convention of the VFW in San Antonio. At this little shin-dig, Rick announced that pre-emptive military action is a good thing. Ya know, fuck democracy because I got bigger, more expensive and precise weapon systems:
http://blog.chron.com/rickperry/2011/08/3418/

And now you understand Rick's modus operandi: pander to everyone who will give him money, take a few votes, and become resident goat fucker/correspondent on Fox. Not suprising, he'll probably move passed Mitt in the next series of polls.

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Social Security is a new tax to Rick Perry because Rick Perry is actually part beagle — everything is brand new to him all the time. Which makes licking himself a constant surprise and delight, but does little for his executive abilities.

emmelemm August 29, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Beagle libel!!

Seriously, man, don't harsh on cute albeit stupid little doggies.

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I'm not harshin' on them — just reporting the facts.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 29, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Finally, a politician who is willing to keep the government out of government programs!

donner_froh August 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I couldn't really understand what the woman in the audience was asking but his answer was clearly "Shut up and listen to me talk about taxes and evil black people."

rocktonsam August 29, 2011 at 1:36 pm

who's dick did Rick W. Perry suck to get his millions?

never mind

Guppy06 August 29, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Next he'll be talking about cutting the child support "tax" certain members of his party have trouble paying…

mormos August 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

“The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience”

Albert Camus

inapewetrust August 29, 2011 at 1:56 pm

yes, it is outrageous how social security is funded by taxes. instead of the government stealing this money from people that they get back when they retire, that money should instead go into private savings accounts for wall street to loot and reduce to rubble and ashes.

DahBoner August 29, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Well, who knew SS was a payroll tax, because nobody has a job…

JustPixelz August 29, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Honor your father and your mother. It's hard to do and may cost 6.2% of your income, but the Bible sez ya gotta do it. OK, technically that's honoring everyone's fathers and mothers. And honoring some spinsters and confirmed bachelors who never had kids.

But here's a quick way to eliminate social security: Parents move in with their kids. And if the kids take 'em to the doctor, we can eliminate Medicare too!.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Christ! Who is that STUPID, stupid, stupid woman? Are all Americans this stupid? Jesus Christ, where am I? Am I still in 'Murka, or am I secretly an Afghanistani with excellent intertoobz connectivity?

finallyhappy August 29, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Many Americans are this stupid- that is a fact.

MichelesPantalones August 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm

You coulda lied to me, happy. That would have been the *kind* thing to do.

Schmegeg August 29, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Please, Rick Perry, run on a platform for repealing Social Security. And take Rick Santorum as VP. "RickRick" Guaranteed to get 31% of the vote.

Negropolis August 29, 2011 at 10:20 pm

I don't care what the liberal pessimists say, Perry's ass is toast with a spread of santorum. America as a whole is stupid; it ain't Rick Perry stupid.

DahBoner August 30, 2011 at 6:46 pm

"Perry responds, “it’s turned into a tax now."

It didn't used to be like this, back when Perry was Al Gore's campaign manager

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