Erratic pill gobbler Michele Bachmann is so in touch with her God that she can figure out, like, super fast how to read God’s messages in everyday things: three red lights in a row means, “only two Diet Cokes before lunch;” getting exactly $4.56 in change at the Wal-Mart means “time to clear out Marcus’s Internet browsing history without checking it;” and finding an empty milk carton in the fridge that someone forgot to throw out means, “hair gets worn down next full moon.” Fairly straightforward! That is pill-head child’s play. But look, she can read large natural disaster events, too: “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’” Hm. We’re trying? Hurricanes and earthquakes are tough to parse. Did we hear something about obesity and screaming and lower deficits in there?
Michele Bachmann did: “Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”
Oh, who is this woman. Either up her dose or we want to see her go cold turkey. [St. Petersburg Times]