Oh, here is a new study that predicts somehow the Earth will still be here in 2048! Krazy scientists! Oh well, enjoy the taste of your anusburgers a few more years before we are all hooked up to IV bags stuffed with liquid McNuggets and opium, for freedom.
The study, released this week in the journal Obesity, suggests that by the year 2030, nearly every American will be overweight or obese.
Currently, figures from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention put the prevalence of overweight and obesity in adults at about 66 percent. But lead study author Dr. Youfa Wang of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore says that if current overweight and obesity trends continue, 86 percent of Americans could be overweight or obese by the year 2030.
Even more troubling, the authors note, “By 2048, all American adults would become overweight or obese.”
[ABC News]
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"suggests that by the year 2030, nearly every American will be overweight or obese"
2012 is more like it.
If the trend continues, 250% of Americans will be obese by 2120.
Statistics — how the fuck do they work?
Dr. Youfa Wang should drop in to Michigan where overweight is normal, obese is pleasing plump and morbidly obese is "need to lose a few pounds".
Hell, below the Mason-Dixon line, morbidly obese is considered "healthy".
Great googly moogly! That was hideous. I think I will never eat again.
and skinny is "severely malnourished"?
Dr. Youfa Wang. A gay Asian was in charge of this study?
"youfa wang? Me love you all night" (from behind)
Turns out Youfa Wang isn't his name but a description of his genitalia–a copy editing mistake at ABC News.
You got youfa wang? I'm yours, big boy.
If the trend continues as he predicts, no one will be able to see him.
Youfa Wang, Mefa Wang, we all wail fa wang, dang.
We're #1!
Actually we're 450#
450 lbs
So Chrischris Christie is ahead of the game for once.
Why doesn't the White House DO something about this trend?
Why did the President go on vacation when America is gorging itself to death?
The Preznit doesn't have to worry about getting obese as long as the Republicans keep running him crazy.
Yeah, like Michele Obama growing a vegetable garden, or saying things like "Children should eat more vegetables and go outside."
When's that going to happen??
It would be too costly to send America into weight loss mode, and we shouldn't even think about it in the midst of a recession. Did I get that right, Bohener?
Couldn't we pick off the fatties with Predator drones?
Biely, Biely, Biely. Always with the overkill.
High Fructose Corn Syrups are people too, my friends.
Corn Syrup/Mittens 2012!
Man, I used to think Tofu was gross. But HFCS is the new, incredibly obese, king of shit of "food"-like products.
You can never be too rich or too thin.
By that logic we'll all be poor and fat.
Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang Youfa Wang. Man that name is fun to say.
Now if this obesity epidemic would just swallow that whiny bitch Cantor..
There will be no funds available to fight the obesity disaster — especially with a certain FLOTUS trying to fight the epidemic.
Reading this post upset me so much I could hardly finish my triple meat bacon cheese burger/ large fries and malt. (burp)
If you don't super size it, the terrorists win.
And if you do, the hemorrhoids win.
Either way, we, the people, LOOOOOOOOZZZZE!
Due to increasing food prices, by 2048, all the lard-asses will have eaten the thin people.
"It's a good thing".
– Martha Stewart
fuck that. I'll be hunting fatties from my bike like a Comanche hunting a herd of slovenly buffalo.
I will build a home for my family from their giant sweatpants.
The bones should be good for constructing a frame. And, of course, you can burn the fat for heating for YEARS.
If everyone in the country'll be obese by 2048, I'm just gonna have to stop watching Survivor at that point.
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
Let's just raise the BMI obesity threshold to, say, 62.
Congratulations, America, you're all officially healthy!
Well I'm off to lunch to have my daily triple Baconator.
"We've weaponized our food!"
-Jon Stewart on the Baconator
HaHa! Jokes on you, Fatty McObesity! By 2048, I'll be fucking old, or dead! HaHa!
But your wooden coffin will be supersized. There goes the rainforest!
Sheesh, I'll be checking out a lot earlier than THAT. Remember to check for very fat people "following" you "stealthily" when you get to be an old gimp.
The emperor has no clothes (that will fit him anymore)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_WUvmQcmsdWc/S2AKd5p3H4I...
Lookin' good!
This proves Michelle Obama has failed and is morally weak.
I thought headline should say Chris Christie to swallow America whole.
No, hon, that was Rush Limpballs: http://e-sheep.sansara.net.ua/www.e-sheep.com/rus...
Kudos to Patrick Farley!
The journal "Obesity" has a vested interest in the matter, its circulation being likely to increase considerably along with waistlines. "Running," "Mean's Health" and others of the same orientation, however, are clearly doomed. Place your bets.
Well, you can make fun of Obesity if you want, but their centerfolds are awesome.
I read it for the articles.
I'm sure. Are you thinking up new and exciting ways to cause Teh Fattehs to suffer?
Are you referring to our new Olympic-sized deep fryer?
2048? Oh my, this is Orson Wellesian!!!
UPDATE: While studying obesity at a state fair, Dr. Youfa Wang was tragically mistaken for a stick of butter and accidentally deep-fried and dipped in fondant.
…and then dipped again in melted butter.
Then coated in a quarter pound of beef and chocolate and deep-fried again..mmmmmmmm…
Fair Goers Complain of Hunger Soon After Eating at Fair
So basically only gay men and straight women in entertainment will be thin by then. Gotcha. Good thing I like a little junk in the trunk.
can you imagine how skinny actresses will be by then?
Most of them are pretty 2-dimensional already.
By 2048 we should have perfected the digital actor or, it is my hope, the android actor.
So, any models and actors will be out of work like the rest of us.
Will robot wives be cheap and effective?
You could ask Marcus Bachmann.
Yes. But there will be a limit of three.
Consult owner's manual for weight-bearing limit of your Cherry 2000.
Just watched that recently. Big ups!
Or, just be happy with a cherry on top!
Obviously, we must have government regulations to reduce the amount of fat and calories in Soylent Green.
Can't be done.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE. SPECIFICALLY FAT PEOPLE
This is how I knew Idiocracy could never happen. Not enough tonnage.
well, considering my idea of a midnight snack last night was to spread mayonaise on a chunk (not slice) of bacon, I will just keep my mouth shut and go for a bike ride.
Nom nom nom.
Does anyone know the weight capacity for say, a continent?
We're about to exceed it.
“By 2048, all American adults would become overweight or obese.”
Fortunately by then I'll be so old I won't care how models, actresses, or pornstars look.
By 2048, the only purpose of the Federal Government will be to provide us all with hoverrounds.
Teabaggers already believe that is the only Constitutionally valid function of the Federal Government.
Instead of bread and circuses we'll have funnel cake and Fox News.
We already have that.
Mmmm… funnel cake.
Kirsten, you drop this on us at lunchtime?
This is good news for the pharmaceutical industry.
god. we have a magazine called 'obesity'.
Ya'll may have missed it, but I was last month's fold-out in the Journal Obesity.
Form a line, ladies…form a line.
How many pages was the fold-out?
As many as you want.
I worry.
Since we have no money and nothing to do, we will just sit around and eat government issued snacks while watching 2 million channels of cable and internet????
Where do I sign up?
Don't worry, we'll be fighting to the death in roving gangs over shoe leather and particularily slow fatties by the end of next year! Everybody's gonna lose some weight.
"Overweight" like on those BMI calculators that tell me (6' tall, 185 lbs., age 50) I'm overweight? Happy to be a trendsetter, here.
What color are your eyes???? Dinner?
We could go out, but I like to warm up for sex with a ten mile bike ride. You with me?
(Didn't think so. My wife won't go for it either.)
Hey, you round down to "Healthy" not "Overweight".
I, for one, will welcome our obese overweightlords.
Good thing fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round.
"Brown eyed girls break my heart, just like all girls do"
“By 2048, all American adults would become overweight or obese.”
This is good news for the Tea Party.
They are all already overweight or obtuse.
Actually, it's good news for the rest of us as we watch them explode in oily, yellow, congealing lumps of hard-arteried fat.
In the land of the obese, the merely chunky man is king!
As long as the chunky man can run away fast enough. Otherwise he could end up being an appetizer.
Why don't loyal 'Muricans just morph into double-stuffed pizzas?
"Obesity Epidemic Set to Swallow America Whole by 2048…" Mmmmmmmmm, America……Americanny……..Mmmmmmm.
This is, obviously,
goodfanfuckingTASTIC news for Mississippi.So we'll all be broke and fat, the climate will be warmer, the education system will be broken and old gay religious crazies will be running everything. We should get a head start and rename the whole country "Arizona".
By 2048, all American adults would become overweight or obese.
Asymptotic extrapolation-from-regression-fit fail. Who conducted this study? Thomas Malthus?
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This is good news for Fat Fancy magazine.
I had a chicken & veggie sandwich with a fruit cup and water for lunch, but after reading this article even that meal makes me feel bloated. Tomorrow's lunch is going to be a watercress cracker with one squeeze from a lemon. If I'm feeling naughty I'll splurge on an ice cube for desert.
Don't forget to purge afterwards! Healthy Jesus would expect nothing less.
As a Really Tall Guy, I have a hard time fitting in restaurant booths. For some reason, America's eateries leave precious little room between the body and table edge, at least for me. I don't understand how the large-girth (average) American does it. Maybe in places like McDonald's, they've made the spaces larger?
Those places now bring the food directly to your scooter.
My hubby used to be really overweight, and he hated booths. (Now that he's a normal size, he still hates them.)
Maybe we'll see padded crowbars if they don't enlarge the spaces.
Or perhaps some kind of man-sized shoehorn.
I want a shoehorn, the kind with teeth.
Uhmerkins eat in their cars, silly.
Hey, hey, hey! </Fat Albert voice>
Damn it. I just lost 30 lbs and you're telling me I have to gain it all back and then some??????
I hate this world.
I just had a French visitor who'd spent the last three weeks traveling around the U.S. and was so dumbfounded he could not even get out a complete sentence when trying to describe the size of Americans. "C'est incroyable…ils sont…mais c'est…c'est affreux…comment…je n'ai jamais vu…"
I took him out for hamburgers and ice cream.
What? No American fries with American dressing?
50 is the new 40: not just in age but belt sizes.
They forgot to factor in the increasing tolerance all the insects have to GMOs, persticides et al. And climate change. We are all going to be lean mean and hungry, the only ones with something to eat will be organic farmers and friends.
Just finished up dropping 90 lbs and let me say that the BMI is incredible bullshit. I would have to look like a death camp survivor to fit that definition. At my height, I would have to weigh between 165 and 221 to be "normal." I'm "overweight" and happy with the results of my weight loss efforts.
Here's data showing the correlation between BMI and percent body fat for men:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Correlation_bet...
BMI is an adequate measure to discern population trends. It is not sufficient to diagnose individuals. .
Yet, that's how it's used all over the country. No wonder we get "The Fat is Coming!" warnings all the time. Yes, there's some really fat people in this country and a lot of fatheads, too. However, obsession either way (eat everything you see or eat nothing at all) isn't the way to live.
Bingo. With the emphasis being that America has a very real struggle with its weight. And, it's not just the weight, itself, but the fact that Americans don't seem to know how to control it and when to stop which inevitably has led to health complications. I really don't like when people try to downplay the problem. For the vast majority of the population, the BMI is a very good indicator of health and potential illness.
BMI isn't great for people at the fringes (really tall or really short), but I can assure that America's problem isn't that it's too muscular or too naturally "big-boned."
If you're 6'6", I suspect you're outside the meaningful range of the index.
"…suggests that by the year 2030, nearly every American will be overweight or obese."
Much sooner for teabaggers and Walmart shoppers.
Shit, that place is ground zero for the fat zombie plague.
Judging from the PeopleofWalMart site photos, I'd say that's a resounding "Yes!"
Well hush my mouth, roll me in flour and go for the wet spot.
So my destiny is to be one of the first Morlocks?
Hey now, why I'm not obese anymore, is that I'm on the republican diet. No job, no money, no eat. it's working, I'm now down to……..too skinny to work. Wait while I climb out of my box under the bridge, good thing there is a McD's close by. I get my daily dose of vitamins from the smell of hot cooking oil.
It's not that big of deal when you adjust the BMI for inflation.
ROTFLMAO! I'm laughing for two reasons; either it will be far sooner than predicted, or this is just ridiculous hyperbole, because it's more likely that there is a leveling point well south of 86% just given the genetics of the people currently left.
My High Fructose Americans, you may be a majority, but you will not eat the rest of us, thereby cementing your domination of the nation. That is the only way we'll all be obese by 2048.
America's the only country I know where we get fatter and poorer at the same time.
Actually, if the trend continues, she'll die an old maid.
That's all I need. Obsessing over the weekend about necrophilia in Wonketteerz.
I knew I could count on you, Biely.
Ever since Early Days when we first saw the Taoist hells, I knew you were the Right Guy for the Jerb.
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