what's your destruction theme song?

Eric Cantor Will Just Say It Already: No Hurricane Relief Without Cuts

future screen grabs from next mondayWelcome to Hurricane Irene’s “Rapture Part 2!” Haha, does anyone ever get the feeling that the news media is praying for the apocalyptic demise of America’s populous cities harder than Pat Buchanan? We read the news this morning (especially this one, with a message of doom from space) and concluded that we are all going to die this weekend. Nice (?) knowing everybody? Make your preparations! Vacationer-in-chief Barack Obama looked up from his golf game long enough to declare North Carolina a federal disaster area, governors up and down the coasts are also declaring states of emergency, and the mayor of D.C. is handing out, uh, a few sandbags if anyone wants one. Eric Cantor, fresh off his endearing statement that Virginia earthquake damage sufferers can lick his saggy nuts, will make his preparations by saving everyone a few minutes of their last few hours on Earth and tell them right now he won’t support hurricane relief without MOAR BUDGET CUTZ. He’s consistent!


Looks like House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) will extend his requirement that federal disaster relief be paid for by cutting spending elsewhere in the budget to Hurricane Irene.

“We aren’t going to speculate on damage before it happens, period,” his spokesperson Laena Fallon emails. “But, as you know, Eric has consistently said that additional funds for federal disaster relief ought to be offset with spending cuts.”

This isn’t just to lay a honeytrap for Cantor. Human toll aside, hurricane damage can be veryexpensive, and if against all hope Irene hits hard, this sort of parameter could put a severe dent in federal programs that are already stretched quite thin.

It’s cool. Jesus has been waiting to start over with the East Coast for a while now, anyway. [TPMDC]

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  1. Barb

    Oh good Christians! Embrace this hurricane as a sign of God's being cheesed off about a gay, Muslim man who has had an abortion. Channel your inner "Martha Stewart" and think of it as an early Christmas. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house, so why not decorate it!

  2. Barb

    Great news! Celine Dion has been dispatched to help and in the areas that need to be evacuated, she should be able to drive the people out with just two songs.
    Goodnight Irene!

      1. DustBowlBlues

        I completely agree with both of you. Sat through 15 minutes of KG at the old Kingdom one night when he played the national anthem before a ball game. It was like that old Simpson's episode, totally.

        My husband, who's rather ignorant of pop culture (if you can call it culture) was at his downtown firestation when a guy came in to ask directions, ending with the totally unnecessary unless you want to impress a fool words, "I'm driving Kenny G."

        Firefighter Hubby's response? "Kennygee who?" because he was actually curious about this person with the funny first name who seemed to not need a last name.

    1. Clancy_Pants

      Hey, man, you don't talk to Mr. Cantor. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll… uh… well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "Do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"… I mean I'm… no, I can't… I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's… he's a great man!

      1. johnnymeatworth

        Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Cantor got out of the boat–he split from the whole fuckin' program.

  3. LabRodent

    This just In. In non-hurricane related news, Eric Cantor is still a Dick. More on this breaking story at 5.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      The National Whiner Service has upgraded Eric Cantor to a Category 5 Dick. Residents of areas in his path are warned to take appropriate precautions.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        The NWS also points out that while there may still be some debate over the exact causes, there has been an ongoing increase in the number and intensity of Dicks in the Red states.

  4. baconzgood

    We are not going to give disaster relief to anybody until we deeply cut disaster relief programs.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      It's all right, as the fire department won't try to save your house until they find budget cuts in other areas.

  5. Indiepalin

    Just cut the funding to NPR and that will pay for a few sandbags for Cantor to put around his estate. And a few strands of barbed wire. Also.

    1. GorzoTheMighty

      What are they gonna say about him? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshit, man!

  6. SorosBot

    Well as long as the rich don't have to pay slightly higher taxes it's OK to to let everyone else suffer.

    1. DoktorThompson

      Well as long as the rich don't have to pay slightly higher taxes it's OK to to let everyone else suffer for freedom and Jesus and the troops.

      That, my friend, is what you might call an unassailable argument.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Thank the gods that the rich can pay for the damage from the hurricane out of their own pockets.

  7. FNMA

    I just read that the mayor of Ocean City, Md., has banned the sale of alcohol.
    We are all going to die.

    1. ph7

      The mayor of OC will get my bottle of Ketel One when he peels my cold, dead, jaundiced fingers from its neck.

    2. SorosBot

      Aren't alcohol sales the entire economy of Ocean City, Md? Well I guess there's also vomit-inducing rides.

    3. Lascauxcaveman

      Well, I don't know if "we're all" gonna die, but for sure, someone's gonna kill that mayor.

    4. gullywompr

      I was in OC when the mayor banned alcohol sales. So I evacuated. Well played sir, well played.

  8. hollywooddood

    Maybe now the little people will see him for the moronic idealogue he really is and someone will smack the dick out of his mouth.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      OT, but did Newt Gingrich really stare at your tits? Being as you're a dood and everything.

      1. hollywooddood

        Actually, I'm not a dude, I'm a chick with amazing, perky tits. He spoke at a health IT conference I attended and after his presentation he walked over to me and said, "Hi, I'm Newt", and stared at my tits as he made small talk.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          Oh, now he's gone and ruined it for all of us. I bet you're not about to invite any of us over for a close-up look at those amazing perkies.

          Newt, you dipshit, this is all your fault.

          Was Callista there, or was Newt off-leash for the day?

  9. nounverb911

    "Eric Cantor (R-VA) will extend his requirement that federal disaster relief be paid for by cutting spending elsewhere in the budget to Hurricane Irene."
    Lets start with your staff, salary and the Norfolk naval bases, oh and your taxpayer paid boondoggles to the promised land too.

    1. Rotundo_

      I think teeing up on whacking our subsidies to Israel and shutting down all military activity (except for the national guard) in Virginia would be a great start. There has to be some other stuff Eric likes that can be sacrificed, maybe turn over the house cafeteria service to Burger King, make him lease his parking space,

  10. DaRooster

    “We aren’t going to speculate on damage before it happens, period,…"

    So yep, just sit around… maybe go to the beach so you are not inundated with said speculation… please.

  11. DoktorThompson

    "But, as you know, Eric has consistently said that additional funds for federal disaster relief ought to be offset with spending cuts."

    Bless Eric Cantor's heart. This reminds me of the time my grandfather had a heart attack and I refused to take him to the hospital until he offset his budget with spending cuts. And did you guys realize funerals aren't even free?!

      1. EatsBabyDingos

        "Bring out your dead…bring out your dead"
        "I'm not dead. I'm feeling better, Mr. Cantor!" WHAP! Just like Monty Python.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Is congress supposed to debate this, when they come back from vaca, while people suffer the aftermath of what has potential to be a disaster?

  12. Eve8Apples

    The hurricane won't make landfall if we cut the capital gains tax for millionaires and billionaires. They're weathercreators.

    1. Barb

      The people in Cantor's district should prepare for the storm by nailing plywood to his mouth, gateway to hell that it is.

    2. Maman

      President? With his attitude he isn't going to be in Congress. You know why? His constituents love his tough talk, but not about them.

  13. BarackMyWorld

    There was a time in this country an asshole like this would be thrown out of office. That time was right before the Tea Party showed up and everyone lost their shit.

    1. SorosBot

      There was a time someone who is this much of an asshole would be literally thrown out of office; maybe the time for defenestration has come again.

    2. freakishlywrong

      Could not agree more. Since when is it ok to deny the welfare of citizens NOT gross negligence?

      1. Rotundo_

        I guess I look at it this way, when *their* district is rubble, it will be great fun to smile and vote "nay" to help them out. If you elect a dick to represent you, you should probably expect to be treated in kind in your hour of need. This gets down to basic human decency and if the person *your district* selected as the best representative of the people in *your district* is like Eric, get ready for the long knives in your backs. Elections really do have consequences.

  14. mog253

    Taking a quick brake from packing, battening down the hatches and stashing the lawn furniture (already went to the liquor store), to say that Eric can kiss the fattest part of my ass. also.

  15. Doktor Zoom

    What are they gonna say about Eric Cantor? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshit, man!

  16. EatsBabyDingos

    I will be doing the Welfare Pours: a shot of Ripple every time Fox News says "tax cuts will rebuild the nation," or some sorry variation thereof. I will be drunk very soon.

    Oh, and Mom, if you are reading this, why are you still in Morehead City?

      1. ifthethunderdontgetya

        And he even made the extra effort to type in "Eric".

        I'll get you, Doktor Zoom. And your little dog, too!

        P.S. Oh man… the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam Virginia, you needed wings to stay above it.

  17. fartknocker

    Snark off: If Eric spent 96 hours with a FEMA Urban Search and Rescue (USAR) team, his fucking pious attitude towards disasters would change.

    Since he doesn't have the balls to play on the ground with the law enforcement/fire service/EMS folks, I hope Kourtney will take her vegetable object and shove it into Cantor's rectum without any foreplay or lubrication.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Eric Cantor could spend the rest of his life doing rescue, and he would still be a heartless bastard. It is clear that the current crop of right-wing leadership has no compassion, sympathy, or empathy for anyone. Oh yes, I must also include the current right-wing followership, too.

      1. mog253

        You're describing my neighbor who doesn't believe in welfare, disabliity, charity or ever giving the poorz an even break. Explains the increase in my alcohol consumption.

    2. Eve8Apples

      I'm so glad you put Kourtney and her vegetable to good use. Although I suspect Eric would enjoy being ass-raped by an enormous cucumber.

    3. widestanceshakedown

      Before, during or after he finishes crapping out his broken teeth? I'm fine with any of these options.

      Update: I know I have posted about Cantor crapping out broken teeth several times, but it's all I can think about when I see that smug grin.

    4. jodyleek

      For Cantor's piousness to be swayed by the human condition in the face of natural disaster, he would need to have a heart and/or soul. I am not holding out any hope for either.

    5. MichelesPantalones

      I would volunteer to buy her an ax-handle, if the vegetable suffered any, um, untoward results. Also, too.

  18. edgydrifter

    Because there's nothing–nothing–in the Constitution about the federal government promoting the general welfare of the United States and it's people. You want that shit, you write the check up-front. To Eric Cantor, ideally.

    1. edgydrifter

      Or the National Weather Service, because people killed by storms they didn't know were coming don't make disaster-relief property claims.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Heck, let's just cut off all funds for beach erosion in the Carolinas. Then we can put that money into rebuilding houses. Come on Kantor, make your choice, tourism or people having houses.

  19. user-of-owls

    Hey filthyweasel, you know what would be an ur-ironic place to slash and burn as an offset to the predicted biblical devastation costs?

    Those parasites over at the National Weather Service.

  20. Goonemeritus

    Might I suggest this should be the way we handle all DOD requests for funding. I’m sorry I can’t fund that new weapon system, look at those B1 bombers I bought you they just sit there you hardly ever play with them.

  21. El Pinche

    Just ban more gay marriage and turn out more anti-union laws..you know, good GOP principles. This should help the victims.

    1. comrad_darkness

      They should not be paid more, nor provided with better benefits than, the median family in America. They should have all access to their personal fortunes blocked for the duration of their service. You know how fast shit for the middle class would get fixed?

  22. SayItWithWookies

    How does Eric Cantor do it? Without a tophat, black cape and handlebar mustache, that is.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Enter your Destruction theme song:

      "I’m steppin’ out, my dear
      To breathe an atmosphere that simply reeks with class impunity;
      And I trust that you’ll excuse my dust when I step on the gas your dignity"♪
      –Fred Astaire, Top Hat

  23. ThundercatHo

    I used to live in his district and every time I saw his weasely face I just wanted to smack the shit out of it. Neither time nor distance has diminished my longing to just bitchslap him 'til my arms get tired.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Just remember, you have TWO LEGS as well. Just because your arms are tired doesn't mean you don't get to kick his nuts till your legs are tired, too.

  24. Ducksworthy

    Would someone just put Eric Cantor in a small boat and shove it out into Chesapeake Bay already?

        1. glamourdammerung

          Well, there is that "REINS" act nonsense that is going to be taken up when Congress comes back from hiding from their constituents, er recess.

    1. poncho_pilot

      "In an August 18 statement, Ryan said, 'I pride myself on being accessible to those I represent.'" (emphasis mine)

      which is why he will no longer meet with the regular people in his district unless they buy a ticket.

    2. DustBowlBlues

      Is the WH completely oblivious to the mood among their "base" in the hinterlands, ready to march or protest or attend town halls? Or are they too committed to raising unlimited money from Wall Street douchebags to notice what's going on in what should be their grassroots. Noticeably, his fancy bus skipped Wisconsin when he did his heartland tour. Probably because the cheese isn't fried.

  25. Lascauxcaveman

    I'm totally with Cantor on this one. Why should we have federal funds going to disaster relief? You KNOW all that money is just going to wasted on construction, road building, landscaping, cleaning services, and local stores that provide remodeling and home furnishings.

    A much better use of those funds would be to give the JOB CREATORS another tax cut so they can create more jobs.

    1. PubOption

      We can't have federal funds going to construction, landscaping and cleaning, and therefore supporting the illegal Mexicans.

    2. mog253

      Buying furniture, restocking the pantry, replacing clothes, yeah we can't have that. The local small owners would hate it.

  26. Mumbletypeg

    the mayor of D.C. is handing out, uh, a few sandbags if anyone wants one.

    Bummer. I thought I'd read "handbags." Mine is just about due for a replacement.

  27. CapeClod

    Here's a way to pay for disaster relief. Let the northeast states keep all the tax revenue they generate and cut off the government welfare that goes to the south and Alaska. How's that for budget balancing, you miserable, chicken-shit, tantrum thrower?

  28. widestanceshakedown

    It would be so sad if one of his constituents left homeless by Irene made the first cut to Cantor's jugular. So sad.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          Believe me, mog, I fervently pray (in my humbly atheistic way) that Irene leaves all Wonketteers safe and sound and concentrates on wiping out Assholes instead. Of which Eric Cuntor is a prime example. And I will share those handkerchiefs with you.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Scrotum, scrotum
      It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin
      Scrotum, scrotum
      It's the thing I keep my testes in
      Well, it's wrinkly and it's crinkly and it's covered in hair
      And I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't there
      Scrotum, scrotum

      Asylum Street Spankers

  29. Doktor Zoom

    Hurricane Survivor: I expected someone like you… Are you a rescuer?

    Cantor: I'm a statesman.

    Hurricane Survivor: You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.

  30. ttommyunger

    Eric Cantor: waking up every day wondering: "How can I be a bigger Dick today than I was yesterday?". And yet, amazingly; he succeeds.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Why is this amazing? The guy was *born* to be a dick. Just look at that pinched face, those flat, dead eyes. You could just see him throwing Old Mrs. Henderson out of the nursing-home for inability to pay her bills.

  31. bureaucrap

    Memo to Cantor: getting out of Iraq/Afghanistan/Somalia/ Pakistan/Yemen/ Libya/Germany/Italy/ Japan/Colombia/Korea/Guantanamo/Turkey etc. could rebuild Mineral, Va. exactly 3,453,571,876 times over.

  32. DustBowlBlues

    Did Karl Rove send out a memo to all Republithugs that, when you say something completely dickish, never admit you were wrong or misquoted or whatever, just double down on it? Because his own, personal Frankenstein was elected to POTUS twice, mostly because the voters like that he had "conviction".

    This has happened so many times–like people are corporations–oops, reverse that–that it seems like too much of a coincidence. This has to be a political strategist's advice.

  33. Sue4466

    Cantor's just trying to prove American really is exceptional: we won't help our hurricane victims unless we can fuck the poor some more first.

    We really are a different kind of country.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Why? Do you think she's about to leap out of her ad and ram that cucumber right up Cantor's wrinkly, saggy, flatulent little rectum? It's probably the closest the little bastard will ever get to a vegetable.

  34. bigdupa

    OK, Eric,

    We can play that. For every dollar we spend on relief in the USA, we will have to take from aid to Israel. Your rules, dickhead. I'd rather see my tax dollars go to our people instead of paying for another rocket to be launched into a dirt shack on the West Bank.

    If Israel has a problem with this logic, they know you to call, Rep. Cantor (A).

    Irene vs. Israel

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      Earthquakes either! I've been trying to explain this to people, but they JUST DON'T LISTEN.

  35. ingloriousbytch

    But will the Dems have the sense to use Cantor's selfishness to their advantage? No. They should be prepared to go on every news program in existence and say the Repubs don't want to give emergency aid. They should buy commercial time and play ads of him and the rest of his teabagger cronies saying let them eat cake. But they won't. They'll cave.

  36. Doktor Zoom

    The heads. You're looking at the heads. Sometimes Rep. Cantor goes too far. He's the first one to admit it.

  37. freakishlywrong

    This looks to be a pretty big storm. So, lotsa damage. So, the ransom will be either:
    1. The fucking Ryan Plan.
    2. The fucking BBA.

  38. thefrontpage

    Don't forget to include all of these items in your Emergency Apocalyptical Freak-Out Stash (EAFS): Copies of the 2008 Democratic Party Platform; The 2011 Planned Parenthood Catalogue; DVD copies of "La Cage Aux Folles," "The Birdcage," and all of Barbra Striesand's movies; all of Liza Minnelli's movies; the 2011 PETA Platform; the 2011 Greenpeace Platform; copies of all of the court rulings in favor of the ACLU from the last 10 years; several copies of Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse; copies of Rolling Stone, Spin and the Onion; DVDS of "The Best of MSNBC," from the last five years;…

      1. thefrontpage

        Kincaid: What the hell was that for? We usually don't bash or negatively criticize others here. That was really rude–and un-called for. There's hundreds of people posting here, and comedy is often hit and miss. If you don't like something, then just move on. But you don't need to be posting rude, critical and negative comments here. Sometimes something is funny, and sometimes it's not. Comedy is not pretty.

  39. thefrontpage

    …all of Al Franken's books; all of the published speeches, writings and legislation of Ted Kennedy, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Mac Mathias, Dennis Kucinich, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter; all of Barack Obama's speeches; plenty of Ben and Jerry's freeze-dried ice cream; plenty of organic, green-praised fruits and vegetables; copies of The Communist Manifesto; the Kinsey Report; the Master's and Johnson's reports; and plenty of informational reading from the AFL-CIO. That should keep people busy, informed and up-to-date and progressive during the coming zombie apocalypse!

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      "Comedy is not pretty." Sometimes it's not funny, either…

      You do know that Ben & Jerry's is owned by those giant hippies Unilever, right? The rest of your laundry list just makes no sense. Give it another go, will you?

      1. MichelesPantalones

        Oh, geez, don't encourage it. It's boring AND stupid. (I can put up with one or the other, but not both at the same time.)

  40. genxr

    You can have money for disaster relief, they just have to be offset with equal cuts in disaster relief. If you want to spend money rescuing someone, you must be offset the cost by leaving them to die.

  41. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Cantor is just being true to his beliefs. After all, God refused to rebuild Sodom and Gomorrah because they refused to make off setting cuts in social services.

  42. jus_wonderin

    Yes, this will work well.

    Like the time a tree limb blew through the picture window. Yes, I said, "Kids, we will not get this fixed until we have cash or if we can cut the cost out of our are spending. So, don't worry about varmits getting in as you sleep and knawing off your head. Now, bring me a beer, dammit!!"

  43. Eve8Apples

    Eric won't rest until Congress' 87% disapproval rating hits at least 95%. The man is an overachiever.

  44. widestanceshakedown

    No food, water, blankets or assistance will be dispensed until we pass a constitutional amendment banning 'uncertainty,' to unleash the praaavit sector's job-creatin' magic.

  45. not that Dewey

    Republican Disaster Relief Plan:

    Part 1. Don't get in a hurricane.
    Part 2. If you do get in a hurricane,…
    Part 3. Die quickly

    1. genxr

      honey badger doesn't give a fuck. Honey badger is like "fuck you eric cantor." Then eric cantor is like, "thanks for the budget cuts, asshole."

    2. MichelesPantalones

      Somehow I get the feeling honey badger will get the better deal out of this. Also, sad about Eric Cantor's untimely passing, but didn't anybody tell him, honey badger don't give a shit?

  46. spinozasgod

    the hurricane will not have much impact on CANTors district so sticking to his guns should come easy.

  47. Slim_Pickins

    Hey West Coast, how many times have you had an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week? Wimps!

  48. MichelesPantalones

    OT, but Peggington Noonington has a WSJ piece up today about Rick Perry's hairy nip-nips scaring away voters.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          Oh, now, Rick's moobs ain't anywhere *near* as aesthetically unpleasing as Peggington Noonington's.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        OK. Gee, people are awfully sensitive about having to look at Ol Rick's saggy, hairy moobs.

    1. mayor_quimby

      What the Fucking fuck? I was gonna jack off tonight, but that is fucking off the table. Thanks! I don't even want to click that link, I already found out, against my will, what a colonial soldier was tonight.
      Why does Teh Wonkett hate erections??

      1. MichelesPantalones

        Wow. Dayum, mayor_quimby, y'awl sure don't like Rick Perry's nip-nips, huh? Off to urbandictionary to find out what is a colonial soldier.

  49. Wilcoxyz

    GOP fail. Storms are job creators. Someone has to fix all that shit. I know storms aren't corporations, but they are named, just like people. Can we at least offer Irene some tax credits? Otherwise the next storm is going to go to Mexico.

  50. LiveToServeYa

    He's right. We shouldn't pay for disaster relief until we gain the needed funds by selling the organs of select members of congress.

  51. spinozasgod

    Eric Cantor: we could use welfare recipients as sand bags…….a jobs program even a conservative can love…….

  52. genxr

    Hey everyone, I just had a great idea where to put that libertarian floating city with no building codes.

    1. poncho_pilot

      Cantor's going to need a bigger assho…oh.

      you meant somewhere in the watery wasteland that the East Coast will become. carry on.

        1. poncho_pilot

          "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into Eric Cantor's enormous asshole, Eric Cantor's enormous asshole gazes also into you." –Friedrich Nietzsche

          1. MichelesPantalones

            Oh, christ, now I really despise Nietzsche with a passion. I'll be dreaming of falling into Eric Cuntor's enormous asshole all night long. Gazing at me, like a sinister, brown Eye of Sauron. Fuck.

          2. poncho_pilot

            unlike with a hurricane, there is no calm in that Eye. i imagine it's a lot like the tornado scene in The Wizard Of Oz…but different.

  53. HarryButtle

    Hurricane schmurricane! If I say its safe to surf this beach, then its safe to surf this beach! I mean, I'm not afraid to surf this place, I'll surf this whole fucking place!

  54. Tommmcatt

    Fuck it, let's just have a bake sale. Grandma can embroider tea towels and sell those.

    Get creative, people! The government is for bailing out banks ONLY!

  55. El Pinche

    But just think about all those dead poor people afterwards. The GOP is already planning their Koch-funded post-hurricane celebration.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Ah b'leev the GOP insured them for huge amounts of money, and stands to rake in billyuns and billyuns of dollars.

  56. Troglodeity

    Well, it's a good thing we had the Bush Tax Cuts these past ten years. Otherwise just IMAGINE the hurt we'd be in.


    John Boehner, after the hurricane has passed: I got 98% of what I expected from this storm.


    How many American billionaires are willing to pay more taxes to fund an emergency like this? (Not to mention the economic emergency). They did it in France, a la Buffett, and signed a petition.
    It may be a way to try to shut motherfuckers like Cantor up.

  59. owhatever

    I want to see Eric Cantor outdoors in the middle of the hurricane force winds and rain, being interviewed by a TV weatherchick, and explaining why the he ain't gonna do shit to help. Tea Party types will applaud while their Hoverounds float away.

  60. poorgradstudent

    He really is a flesh-and-blood Dickens villain, only he needs a name like Eric Killpoor.

  61. Come here a minute

    Someone needs to tell these fuckwits that the federal government can borrow money for FREE because of the current low interest rates. If the economy ever comes back and we have reasonable (pre-Bush) tax rates, the debt will be paid off, and if there's a reasonable amount of inflation, we'll have made money on the debt.

    Yeah, I know, they don't know, don't care.

  62. Ramon X

    Do Cantor and the rest of the Koch suckers have life insurance on all the peasants that are going to die this weekend when their hovels get washed away? Rick Perry has insurance on dead teachers.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Probably. Wut? You know if there's money to be made they'll be first in line. I'm surprised Cantor hasn't already proposed selling any dead victims by the pound as "SOYlent Green Protein Packages."

  63. Jukesgrrl

    Maybe he could sell the naming rights to Williamsburg and Monticello. Bank of America's Founderville and Cialis Presents Jefferson's Love Nest, anyone?

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Thank you. The President has asked everyone to take appropriate measures and FEMA is already standing by with supplies. Wow. What a difference from Katrina.

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