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yesterday, on wall streetThose crazy Florida welfare princes! Always lining up for their fat government checks with dirty syringes dangling from their shriveled purple arms, right? Haha, wrong! Florida governor Rick Scott’s incompetent proposal to save state money by requiring welfare recipients to pass a drug test has turned up a rousing 2% positive result among those tested, which is 6.7% lower than the overall drug use rate in Florida. B-b-but poor people love drugs! No, Rick, fancy bankers love drugs, especially the expensive ones. Haven’t you ever seen Wall Street? The average $134 welfare check from the state of Florida isn’t even enough to maintain a glue-sniffing habit. So let’s see, how much has this little experiment in stereotyping saved the state?

By the way: Florida, we are impressed! We would probably be snarfing hard drugs through our eyeballs faster than Michele Bachmann if we lived among the endless gray nebulae of crumbling strip malls, foreclosed homes and hardcore unemployment statistics strewn across large swaths of the state.

From Tampa Bay Online:

So far, they say, about 2 percent of applicants are failing the test; another 2 percent are not completing the application process, for reasons unspecified.

Cost of the tests averages about $30. Assuming that 1,000 to 1,500 applicants take the test every month, the state will owe about $28,800-$43,200 monthly in reimbursements to those who test drug-free.

That compares with roughly $32,200-$48,200 the state may save on one month’s worth of rejected applicants.

The savings assume that 20 to 30 people — 2 percent of 1,000 to 1,500 tested — fail the drug test every month. On average, a welfare recipient costs the state $134 in monthly benefits, which the rejected applicants won’t get, saving the state $2,680-$3,350 per month.

But since one failed test disqualifies an applicant for a full year’s worth of benefits, the state could save $32,200-$48,200 annually on the applicants rejected in a single month.

Net savings to the state — $3,400 to $8,200 annually on one month’s worth of rejected applicants. Over 12 months, the money saved on all rejected applicants would add up to $40,800-$98,400 for the cash assistance program that state analysts have predicted will cost $178 million this fiscal year.

And even those useless savings — $98,400 out of $178 million — will be meaningless if and when the ACLU decides to sue the state. Hooray! [Tampa Bay Online]

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  • The point isn't the savings.

    The point is Rick's Rick's wife's company sells the tests.

    Once a healthcare scammer, always a healthcare scammer. Governor or no.
    ~

    • Good thing his wife wasn't selling enema products.

      • DaRooster

        He would be washed away.

    • Rick's an entrepreneurial guy… and government is just part of the racket.

      • mog253

        Needs to start buying that old prisoner life insurance.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Hmmm. This sounds strikingly familiar. Oh yes, No Child Left Behind and Neil Bush.

    • a_pink_poodle

      Clever girl….

      HUAGUAHGUAAAAAAH!!!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's called "running government like a business."

      In Florida, "business" is just another word for "racket".

  • They using fake waginas.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    The biggest crime in America these days is being poor.

    Actually, has been since the 19th century.

    • V572 T-Blow

      Wasn't a picnic being a Poor in America in the 18th century either, but the inadequate communications of the time (no Twitter, if you can believe that!) made the whaling ship and plantation owners less repugnantly visible than our current crop of wealth-horders, who, in addition to piling up or inheriting or stealing obscene quantities of money, seem to need public admiration for the way they spend it.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        You're absolutely right. It's as if the wealth-horders are the people to be admired these days. Not only the obscene wealth, but the requirement for admiration.

        Fuck them. No, seriously, fuck them. Government of and for the people, so fuck you. Jefferson himself advocated against inherited wealth because he thought it might negatively affect society. Was he right? Damn straight he was right.

        I got ranty there. Sorry.

        • V572 T-Blow

          That’s ol’ Tom, writing words that will stir the souls of people all over the world for hundreds of years, and bangin Sally Hemmings, whom he inherited along with the other 199 slaves. The irony: it burns!

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            TJ is a man whose legacy will last for centuries. A truly amazing person.

            Wanting to abolish slavery whilst owning slaves is something he'll be rightly admonished for, forever. Let alone fucking Sally.

            No, a polymath and product of his time, TJ was beyond compare. I'd love to see a man like that in modern politics. Can you tell I'm a fan?

            edit: from the TJ memorial, and teabaggers take note

            "I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

          • V572 T-Blow

            Yeah, cool, but some how the barbarous ancestors got back in charge.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            And only proper Americans can stop them. TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK etc etc

            As an observer I find the whole thing mildly comedic. When will sense prevail again?

          • flamingpdog

            I like to believe that if he were alive today, TJ would be a regular commenter on Wonkette:

            "Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus."

            -Thomas Jefferson, letter to Francis Adrian Van der Kemp, 30 July, 1816

            P.S. Suck that, teatards!

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            A true genius. I loved his ideas on fossils found on the top of mountains, a precursor to tectonic plate theory.

            To not use his exact words: it can only be the result of physical methods of which we cannot see and have not seen.

            TJ was a genius. An enlightenment genius who founded the US. It's such a shame that his brand of thought hasn't lingered.

          • flamingpdog

            But, but, but, we all know there are fossils on mountain tops because of the Great Flood!

            And Satan!

          • Dashboard_Jesus

            Dear Mr. Fukui- I really appreciate reading your thoughtful and intelligent comments on the Wonkette…OT but also curious what your 'nom de plume' means, I've been trying to figure it out for awhile now? btw, as I'm reading your comments here coincidentally also listening to Chris Hitchens' dress down some Repig moron about the intent of the Founding Fathers- specifically Jefferson- when drafting the Declaration of Independance

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Heh, it's a good thing I have comment notifications turned on otherwise I'd never have seen this.

            The moniker is from the show "Iron Chef", the original Japanese version. Fukui-san is the commentator and Shinichiro Ota is the floor reporter. When Ota has something to report he throws to the commentator:

            Ota: Fukui-san?
            Fukui: Yes, Ota?

            It's all a bit obscure.

            Chris Hitchens, whilst sometimes being a bit of a conservative prig, has the kind of intellectual horsepower and not-suffering-fools-gladly attitude that he has no time for those idiot teabagging fucks.

          • chicken_thief

            In his defence, Sally was one hot piece of ass…

    • mog253

      Or being a teacher, fire figher or policeman who belongs to a union.

  • That dog is the perfect representation of a maligned populace that's shown Scott what it's like to be Rick'rolled… All the poor pup thought he was doing was rolling a ciggie when the slander-pandering, social experiment profiteering gov't flacks pounced. For them to be outwitted by actual results of tests of their own devising? It's the equivalent of being bitten back on the hand by those they fed this cat-turd to; justice rarely gets more poetic than this.

  • By the way, what does this have to do with the HurriQuake that's gonna kill America?

    • LesBontemps

      It is tragically bypassing Florida.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The important thing is that the rain is bypassing Texas. You gotta think about the big picture here, people!

    • flamingpdog

      And how will it affect Sarah Palin?

  • They should make drug testing a requirement for Florida Governors as well.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Or compassion testing.

      • user-of-owls

        ha ha HA HA HA!

        Oh, that's rich!

    • Terry

      How about an electroencephalogram to check for brain activity?

    • Bots Meat Commission

      Charlie Crist always felt that poppers were a performance enhancing drug for him.

    • Callyson

      Or for American voters…
      …then again, I might need to be high on something next time I go to the polls…

  • mookwrthwilson

    And how much does it cost to cremate the dead drug addicts who died of hunger?

    • kissawookiee

      Using them as fuel lets you add them as a credit instead of a debit.

    • Geminisunmars

      Silly, they'll leave them to putrefy by the side of the road. Win/win. No cost to the state, and natural compost.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The 'gators clear 'em away in no time. It's probably one thing that's efficient, in Florida.

    • user-of-owls

      Why do you think they call it Potter's Field, Mookster?

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    Imagine how much they could save if they just killed all the poors. And the oldz. And the coloreds.

  • Assuming that 1,000 to 1,500 applicants take the test every month, the state will owe about $28,800-$43,200 monthly in reimbursements to those who test drug-free.

    A small price for the state of Florida to pay–an important state function is harassing and persecuting poor people.

    • SorosBot

      Reimbursements for money they've paid to Rick Scott's wife. The guy is openly transferring state funds to himself; he truly is a supervillain Governor.

  • Ruhe

    Even if I spend the $134 on coke that doesn't leave me enough to get a whore off of whose ass I can sniff the coke and if I can't get high the way the boys on Wall Street do what is the point? Come to think of it, I'm just not sure now why I chose to be poor. It really isn't much fun.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Do you have a fridge? A TV?

      Then obviously you're snuffleupagusing so much bolivian bingo-powder that you just don't care.

  • SorosBot

    Yes, but the poor now get humiliated even more in getting their checks, so the law's goals are met. Now he just needs to find a way to strip away whatever bit of dignity they might still have.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Poor is not a right. It's a privilege.

    • Doktor Zoom

      The poors should be forced to give up their fancy-shmancy color TV's and microwave ovens.

      • horsedreamer_1

        That's dire straits, right there.

        • flamingpdog

          ♪ Money for nobody, no checks for thee. ♪

      • SorosBot

        And some of them even have refrigerators and ovens; that's not really poor!

    • Crank_Tango

      tax them! sales tax on the piss test?

    • CapeClod

      Perhaps they can dangle their welfare payments from the ceiling, just tantilizingly out of reach of their hands. This would be especially effective for disabled recipients.

      • SorosBot

        They can leave their payments in the center of alligator country, and film the poors' attempts to sneak past the predators to get them for their entertainment.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          In this country, that would be a hit "Reality TV" program.

          Oh, wait, am I supposed to be snarking here? Oops.

    • user-of-owls

      My memory's a bit hazy, but didn't some guy with the same motive of publicly degrading a certain social group come up with the idea of sewing some sort of symbol on their garments?

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Oh, owls, you're so old-fashioned.

        No, these days one doesn't need a badge. Simply being poor is all one needs. Food stamps? Haha, fuck you. A starving underclass of fifty million people won't be any problem at all – after all, they pay no tax, so fuck 'em. What, you want to be socialist and have a safety net? LOLZ! That's so 20th Century. No, no. Neofeudalism is how it's done now. Middle class? HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA! Yeah, let's see how that works out in the next ten years. What an interesting experiment that was. No, fuck you poors. That's everyone btw. Fuck you.

        This has been a public service announcement by the plutocrats of America.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yeah, although the more recent version is to make them have a dedicated "poorz only" line at the supermarket, where the machine can only ring up poorz approved items and only poorz cards are accepted. To basically clarify whose poor. And supposedly cut down on poorz buying unapproved items.

        I wish I was joking.

        • HistoriCat

          Holy crispity crap – really? Do they shine a spotlight on the people and make announcements over the loudspeaker too?

    • flamingpdog

      a way to strip away whatever bit of dignity they might still have?

      No welfare check moneys can be spent on clothes. Then it won't only be the Emperor with no clothes. Alternative: Only used pimp clothes can be bought, and only at the Breitbart Bin.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Only at Goodwill or other second hand stores. To make sure they don't let their kids start thinking they aren't poor.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Is butt sniffing still okay? Love, the Dog.

  • Pragmatist2

    Let's drug test all Republicans. Clearly they are using reality altering substances.

    • DaRooster

      It don't take drugs… to be a Tard.

      • Crank_Tango

        Tea is a helluva drug!

  • Sue4466

    Looking like Wonkette is celebrating National Dog Day

    • My Yorkie-mix approves!
      (Now if I could just get him to stop licking his butt…)

  • This is not good news for Florida's Drug and College Football based economy.

    • SorosBot

      And the college football part is getting destroyed with everybody getting suspended by NCAA.

  • Trannysurprise

    Looks like Rick Scott will have to revert to his original plan of means testing the poors.

    That being if your a colored, it means you get nothing. It's a time saver and really gets right to the point of this entire exercise.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That being if your a colored, it means you get nothing. It's a time saver and really gets right to the point of this entire exercise.

      Apropos of which, you know who else hates poors and coloreds?

      • horsedreamer_1

        “There is a reason Arizona is on the list,” state Sen. Steve Gallardo, a Democrat from Phoenix, told The Arizona Republic. “We have a history of discrimination, a history of unfairness.”

        Two practitioners of said history got to serve on the Supreme Court — one of them as Chief Justice!

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        The state of Arizona filed a lawsuit Thursday challenging the federal government’s authority to enforce part of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, becoming the first state to challenge the constitutionality of sections of the federal law that bars states from denying or limiting a person’s right to vote based on their race or color.

        Holy shit. They're not even pretending any more.

      • SorosBot

        “Arizona has been subjected to enforcement actions for problems that were either corrected nearly 40 years ago and have not been repeated, or penalized for alleged violations that have no basis in the Constitution,”

        Um, it sounds like this Horne guy never heard of the Fifteenth Amendment:

        1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

        2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          That's Federal law. State's rights, man!

      • I said it before, and I'll say it again:
        Fuckin' Arizona!!

  • Sue4466

    Monthly reimbursements to those who test drug-free? $28,800-$43,200
    Humiliating poors? Priceless.

  • ThundercatHo

    Politicians need to pass an "actual human being" test to qualify for public office. This shoud thin out the herd significantly.

  • Rick Scott is planning to buy controlling interest in the company that makes the Whizzinator.

    Now with Premixed Refillable Urine Kits.

    Get yours today!

    • flamingpdog

      Dude, those guys are good! Didn't even get blocked by the sexy-time website blocking software at work. Speaking of sexy-time, is Sara gonna show up today?

  • Poindexter718

    Iz only cuz the price of rock has gone up 77% percent since Barry took over.
    If we elect Rep. Bachmann, she promises rock will revert to Bush-era prices.

    • not that Dewey

      Which Bush?

      • Crank_Tango

        70's.

      • Poindexter718

        Prescott!

        • not that Dewey

          So, all of them, Katie?

  • Goonemeritus

    So now people have an actual number available to them when the question of drug use comes up regarding the poor. I will bet any thing that if asked 99% of the voting public will state the number is 20 or 30 times higher and these facts will be ignored. I will also bet that that the media will continue to misinform on this issue.

    • Doktor Zoom

      This is, after all, a nation that believes we could pay off the national debt if we just cut foreign aid and NPR.

    • DustBowlBlues

      "I will also bet that that the media will continue to misinform on this issue."

      Ya' think?

  • Not_So_Much

    Once again, excellent math Lex Luthor. I mean, I know you're making money from this clusterfuck. But the state? Not so much.

  • x111e7thst

    The invisible hand of the market holds the silver coke spoon to the bankers nose. The invisible hand of the market snatches the crust of bread from the poor child's mouth. Who can say why.

  • Once more heavy to drug testing the lower end of the economic circus. How about having attnys pee in a cup or get disbarred, or surgeons, or engineers. Nah, that would never happen.

    • V572 T-Blow

      Ever have a security clearance? I used to have to periodically give donate some piss so my employer could keep a SCIF in the building.

      • Super-cool!
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensitive_Compartmen

        All the best McMansion Man Caves now have SCIFs for porn-stashes.

      • Have & had, so weejee and the weejettes must pee, but generally speaking it is not required. Also had a dear friend who had a heart valve surgery go very badly, but in following litigation his widow could not bring up that the surgeon who was in care of her hubby died six months later from a cocaine overdose. Is this a great kuntry or what?

        • V572 T-Blow

          Now I understand: corrosion on floaty and/or submersible Navy things at Bummertown, right?

        • BerkeleyBear

          Sorry about your friend, but that rule (against subsequent events being used as evidence of prior conduct) is a pretty good one for a lot of reasons. Like making sure that the heavy drinking I did to block out the memory after I nearly shit myself when I was pulled over and falsely accused of DUI by two country cops relying on an "anonymous tip" (ie shits and giggles) wasn't used against me to prove up the lie.

          I do think doctors, particularly surgeons, should be drug tested and subject to a lot more regulations as to how long they should work and similar issues to cut down of impairment related fuckups. There's a real logical gap in making truckers track hours and pee in a cup but not the guy plunging his hands into your organs.

          Attorneys I'm less sure about the need to make it universal. In most states, attorneys with abuse problems (either self-identified or because of arrests, malpractice complaints, ethics referrals, etc.) do get put into special programs to try and deal with it. Never having been in one, not sure of all the content, but I know one restriction that can be put on your bar admission in California is a drug testing protocol.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Well, who's fault is that? If the poors were really upset about this, they'd have a lobby just like the AMA.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Considering the GOP's fixation on gay tends to mask torrid gay love on the part of the Party, we can only assume that Rick Scott is a real-life Tony Montana. I bet if we were to go into the Governor's office, we would find a line the size of a Qdoba burrito next to his fountain pen he used to sign the "welfare drug test" bill into law.

  • Indiepalin

    I say let's have Rick Scott and his entire braindead staff undergo drug tests, and anyone of them who tests negative should be thrown out the window of a moving train.

    • Crank_Tango

      that's why he rejected highspeed rail!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      IQ tests and any governor who polls under 110 gets to be used as target practice by the military.

  • Good thing Scott et al didn't wager any bets on this one…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wish Graham Chapman were still alive so he could come out and say "Right! Stop that! Silly."

    • Indiepalin

      Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

      • EatsBabyDingos

        Or, cuing music that goes dun di dun di dun di dun, THE BISHOP!

        • Doktor Zoom

          Number 3: The Larch. The Larch.

    • Terry

      The best euology ever given: http://youtu.be/CkxCHybM6Ek

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Ah, truly inspired and perfectly executed. Chapman would have loved it.

  • baconzgood

    "2 percent of 1,000 to 1,500 tested — fail the drug test every month."

    Ummmm. Let's think this through if 2% fail the test the first month and the other 98% don't…….One would assume that 100% would pass the drug test the next month. Oh and by the way the company testing the pee was founded by the Rick Scott.

    • DustBowlBlues

      You're shitting me. The same Scott who bilked Medicare out of millions of dollars? Surely he wouldn't use cronyism to do a job of vital importance as ferreting out people who would cheat the state out of moneys that could go to the Job Creators.

      No, wait. Scott is a Republican. You're not shitting me.

    • BerkeleyBear

      1000 to 1500 tested per month, given the budget for the program, is either a random sample or the new monthly applicants. Either way, doesn't excuse psycho Scott's bullshit or how it lines his pockets, but still.

  • Tr0tt0

    Its getting to be that not even college students can afford to buy grossly degraded coke anymore! I don't see how we can expect to spawn the next generation of world leaders at this rate.

  • LiveToServeYa

    What we need is One Weird Trick (OWT) to reduce poverty.

  • BlueStateLibel

    When do we start drug and means testing bailed out bankers? Oh right, never.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Other than being dead, this is the worst thing to happen to Russell Jones, today.

  • baconzgood

    Only 2%? This is bad news for Phish and Cypress Hill sales in FLA.

  • Tr0tt0

    If anything drug use should be mandatory, anything to kill the mind numbing dullness that is life in Florida. I'm pretty sure welfare payments are kept relatively low in order to keep people from being able to afford to leave.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Opium did the trick for Mrs. Gaskell's 19th Century England.

  • DaRooster

    "So far, they say, about 2 percent of applicants are failing the test; another 2 percent are not completing the application process, for reasons unspecified."
    Uh… they probably died… due to the fact it takes so fucking long to scrape together enough for a meal.

  • DaRooster

    Hello Tampa Bay Online… way too early for all that math… I already have a test to take…

  • hollywooddood

    If I had to live in Florida and get by on $134 a month, I'd spend it all on drugs. So fuck you, asshole.

  • Schmannnity

    When will he start testing Palm Beach County-based right wing radio hosts for Hillbilly Heroin?

  • V572 T-Blow

    As someone pointed out on Maddow last night: how about drug testing everybody who claims a mortgage interest deduction or an oil depletion allowance? A tax break is functionally identical to getting a check from the gummint.

  • bureaucrap

    Next up: Rick Scott moves all public housing residents to "residential camps" (meaning trees in the Everglades) with all the alligators and water mocassins they can eat (you heard it here first).

  • Indiepalin

    Story of the day (AFA):

    "Defeating Darwin in four steps – so easy a caveman could do it"

    In which we are given a crash course in Thermodynamics from Nobel-prize winning physicist, Bryan Fischer:

    "When you see a turtle on a fence post, what's the one thing you know? Somebody put him there. When you see a world hanging in space, what's the one thing you know? Someone hung it there."

    • Take that Darwin!

      Let me try.

      When someone draws a conclusion based on two assumptions that have nothing to do with each other (or the conclusion) and claims victory it is indisputable because it doesn’t make any sense to anyone with a functioning brain. In other words, how can you argue with that?

      • DustBowlBlues

        I call that Okie Science. My mother was convinced that it was so hot the summer they lived in Ponca City, she didn't go outside but still got a suntan. Of course, she was part Indian and tanned very easily, but that didn't matter. You can't argue with what you see before your own two eyes.

        It's only empirical evidence that you can completely ignore. Inconveniently, facts never seem to support their Faux news, Hate Radio and Preacher dictated world view.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          That's beyond even "correlation does not imply causation", which is a rallying cry to scientists.

          No, that's "some horseshit therefore other horseshit"

          Oh fuck it – none of these people understand even the basic tenets of scientific thought so let them think that. It'd be funny if it weren't such a principle in politics in America these days.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      When you see a gay man hanging on a fence post, someone must have hung him there (a tea bagger's wet dream)

    • El Pinche

      Here's the real test. What if the turtle is racing Bugs Bunny and the turtle has a flash light inside in his shell. Does this prove time dilation ?

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Pfft. You and your provable facts.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Story of the day? Where? He published that in 2008…. stupid then, stupid now.

      On the off chance that anyone might need a handy link for slapping down a creotard, here's PZ Myers' point-by-point dismantling of Fischer. (We should be grateful to Fischer, in a way, since he distilled a lot of creationist idiocy into a single column.)

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Holy crap. I just read that teleological bullshit which passes for science written by our old chum Bryan Fischer. I'm speechless.

        Now I'm not one of those cunts who is a radical atheist, but, shit man, that shit is weak. Weak in so many ways. How does any thinking person believe this shit? I'm flabbergasted.

        In an unrelated note I've seen trucks and cars here with "NOTW" stickers. I had to google it. Apparently it's some Christian clothing company.

        I miss England.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Actually, having read Small Gods, I would have said it could have been dropped there by an eagle.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Om be praised!

    • spinozasgod

      well, the turtle is on a post…what's the world hung on?

      • God's middle finger, he's part of the Harlem Multidimentional Trotters.

        • HistoriCat

          We're all hoping to be Raptured before the Cosmic Dunk.

          • Dashboard_Jesus

            excellent!

  • DashboardBuddha

    Off topic: Quick! I'm in a FB fight with a friend of mine over the "liberal media". I know he's going to bring up WaPo and the NYT – are there any liberal columnists there and who?

    • not that Dewey

      Nothing comes to mind.

    • DashboardBuddha

      FYI – he's actually more of high school classmate than friend. He's actually a douchebag (this is the guy who I mentioned that belongs to a bigfoot "research group", but believes BO wasn't born in this country. With that in mind, I have no reason to not make him cry.

      • El Pinche

        Does he do 'squatch' calls? If not, he's an amateur.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          now that made me spew wine out my nose!

      • bureaucrap

        Do you mean "conservative columnists"? In any case, here are some of both:

        Conservative: Ross Douhat, David Brooks, George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Marc Thiessen
        Liberal: Paul Krugman, Nick Kristof, Eugene Robinson, EJ Dionne, Harold Myerson

        Significantly, WP lists Richard Cohen as "liberal". Right.

    • Indiepalin

      Send him to this article at World Net Daily on Marco Rubio's eligibility for the vide-presidency:
      http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pag….

      • El Pinche

        Holy shit….it reads like Drudge but on 'roids and crack. People who read WND need to get their brain pickled .

      • DustBowlBlues

        How do people fall for all this shit? I've stopped paying attention to anything that starts with,"The _____ they don't want you to know."

        This thing is really pretty scary, isn't it? Nice to see our homeboy Inhofe got a headline, and not for being whacked out.

    • Terry

      At the NYT? Paul Krugman?

    • DashboardBuddha

      Thanks all…he seems to have gone quote for the nonce. If he surfaces, I'll smack him around and report back.

    • SorosBot

      At the Times, Paul Krugman; and at the Post, Eugene Robinson. And that's pretty much it.

      • DustBowlBlues

        Frank Rich, NYT. Actually watched him sort of "interview" Sondheim at an event in Tulsa, (I'm sure I don't need to explain his years as a theater critic) and could have sat there (is that the right sat?) and listened for another two hours, at least.

        Rich was as personable and humorous as he comes across in television. Maybe it was just a special event here in the Dust Bowl, but I don't get to listen to two brilliant, liberal (comes with brilliance, most often) urbane people talk about a subject I love all that often.

        Oops. It's not like I have a crush on Rich, or anything. I don't need to find a new pretend boyfriend now that Keith O has put David Schuster back in my living room, where he belongs.

  • "Whenever the government is up the asses of the poor, it's keeping its clammy hands off the rest of us!!" — Any Republican Candidate

  • ttommyunger

    I've never known anyone named Rick. Prolly a good thing; seems it's a tip-off: Rick=Dick.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Clearly, since the drug testing is not finding many users among the welfare poors, we need to expand the testing.

  • iburl

    Test that glassy eyed freak governor. Not for drugs, for human DNA.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Over 12 months, the money saved on all rejected applicants would add up to $40,800-$98,400 for the cash assistance program…

    And at 30 bucks a pop, the cost for 1,000 to 1,500 tests a month is $30-$45,000, right? So over a year that comes to $360,000 to $540,000, for a net savings of — oh, um — expenditure, that is — of $319,200 to $438,600. That's our genius corporate overlords for ya.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    This just goes to prove that unemployed drug users do not go to the state for money, they just sell drugs to people with a job. It's a hell of a lot more money anyway.

    • They also come to big box stores and steal then give the store creidts to a middle man, usually with no criminal record. The grey market is pretty big in Florida I'm sure with all the drug money being funneled through the banks and businesses.

  • smashaduck

    OT: Friend of mine says she started an account here but her comments never get posted. Is that normal? I'm pretty sure she drinks enough to qualify.

    • SorosBot

      I think it happens with new accounts; after she's enough comments approved they'll start popping up right away.

      • smashaduck

        Lame. How am I supposed to get laid if I can't brag about my p-ness being bigger than her p-ness?

    • DrinkYerBourbon

      Shhhh, I don't exist. No really. How do I know? Cause you'll never fucking see this reply. Grumble. Hey wonkette, I'm nice. Really. I am. I do drink a lot. At which point, I'm not always nice to people. But my dog appreciates it ….cause I share my snacks but still. I'm funny sometimes. People laugh. Maybe they're laughing 'cause I forgot to put on clothes. See, now you're fucking with my self-esteem. That ain't right man. Not right.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      She needs to up the sarcastic, I think.

      Having gone from fuck-all to something p it's all about making good comments. This isn't that shitfest Gawker where you have starring and so on, no, it's much more democratic.

      • DrinkYerBourbon

        I can't go to Gawker. Jim Newell's there and I still owe him 20 bucks and a half ounce.

  • No time to read.
    I gots stuff to do. Gotsta go buy cigs and booze with my foodstamps, and neglect my screaming illegitimate, black welfare babies.

    *yanks needle from arm

  • BarackMyWorld

    On average, a welfare recipient costs the state $134 in monthly benefits…

    OMG…Welfare queens gettin' rich off the system!

    • genxr

      They're not spending it wisely. First thing they go and buy one of those fancy $100 Cadillacs, then they spend the rest on a mountain of penny candy.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Wow, $134 a month.

      Fuck's sake. You can't even buy veggies to last a week on that.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Who pays for this? Does the person have to come up with $30 up front, then get reimbursed. If you're on welfare, isn't that like coming up with first and last months' rent plus damage deposit? It's hard to come up with that kind of cash, then wait for this pecker-headed freak to send you a check to cover the cost.

    • Guppy06

      The recipient pays for the test out-of-pocket and only gets reimbursed on a negative result.

  • Guppy06

    It's not about drug testing the poors, it's about funneling more state money to his (wife's) drug-testing company, Solantic.

    Remember: it's not about how much money the state is spending, but who it's giving the money to.

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    When did using drugs become a crime? Possession is a crime. Manufacturing drugs is a crime. Selling or buying them is a crime. But, as far as I know, using drugs isn't illegal.

  • genxr

    Now if they would just drug test lobbyists, politicians, government contractors, and anyone deducting anything from their taxes.

  • An_Outhouse

    "isn’t even enough to maintain a glue-sniffing habit"
    They can't screen for glue, right? We're cool as long as we 're huffers.

  • Hell you probably can't get a dime bag of weed for 130 bucks. How are the poors supposed to be gettin high off of anything but stolen perscriptions on that kind of money. It's just a nice way to funnel public funds into private compaines that the douchebag gov favors. Namely this wife and pals. Lovely.

  • bravo_sierra

    Now that it has been proven to pay for itself, we should start drug testing anyone who benefits from a government social program. College students who are getting Pell grants and student loans, anyone who gets a mortgage interest tax credit, anyone receiving Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security or veterans benefits…
    Wait what now? Only the poors are deserving of extra scrutiny?

  • P_Drizzle

    Obama for Florida 2012: I hate Rick Scott too!

  • owhatever

    Did Rush Limbaugh pass?

  • HistoriCat

    If Obama was a quarter of the evil fascist dictator that the haters claimed he was then Rick Scott would be hanging by his testicles in a CIA detention facility, just to be used as an example to keep other governors in line.

    Sometimes I have to remind myself that such a thing would be bad.

  • Sassomatic

    The real problem here is the crack whore welfare queens who collect fat government checks AND pull in the income they need to buy crack UNTAXED. What aren't whores expected to contribute to social security?

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