republicans in the news

Gay Old Republican Lawmaker Caught With Male Hooker Is ‘Not Gay’

GOP Rep. Phil Hinkle? Nope, not gay at all.Formerly closeted gay Republican lawmaker Phil Hinkle was caught in a hotel with a male gay prostitute earlier this month, which was all obviously some kind of terrible mistake, the way yet another GOP representative (Indiana legislature, this time) has been caught with a rent boy. But now the Republican married straight lawmaker has at least admitted he paid the comely young man $80 for a “good time” but definitely didn’t do any gay things.

As often happens with these deluded old queens who think they can continue to be in power even after they’re caught soliciting homosexual sex with strangers, Hinkle refuses to resign even though the GOP is trying its lame best to get him out of the way before everybody notices that almost every Republican male politician is a “secret” homosexual.

The Indy Star reports:

State Rep. Phil Hinkle admitted Tuesday that he paid a young man $80 to have a good time. But Hinkle insisted he isn’t gay and doesn’t know why he did it.

Uhh, we know why! Because he is a gay man. And he does it all the time, and everybody in the Republican leadership and his family (including the usual pinch-faced GOP wife) has known for years if not decades that Phil Hinkle is a closeted homosexual who compensates for his self hatred by being a sociopathic Republican politician. What else, Indy Star?

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Usually he’s in control of his actions, he said, but something changed …. Hinkle also said Tuesday he’s not a homosexual. “I say that emphatically,” he said. “I’m not gay.”

Hinkle acknowledged he picked up Kameryn Gibson and drove him to the hotel, giving him $80 in the car. But when they arrived, Hinkle said, they simply made small talk about baseball and the view from the hotel — nothing further.

“I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.”

This is apparently what life is like for the nation’s thousands of elected Republican self-hating gay men: a constant, pathetic battle to keep from going “over the edge” by having sex with a male hooker. And because nearly all Republican men engage in paid sex acts with male prostitutes on a regular basis, they all think this is a normal American struggle, to keep themselves from doing this too often. Because it’s wrong to be homosexual, according to the Republican Party … wrong, but oh so right! [Indy Star via Wonkette super-operative "Matt N."]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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208 comments

  1. McGreek

    "But when they arrived, Hinkle said, they simply made small talk about baseball and the view from the hotel — nothing further."

    Ladies and gentlemen. the least convincing story of the century!

    1. snarkycomments

      When I was a young intern my congressman mostly talked about how I should grasp his bat.

    2. SayItWithWookies

      "You can see all the way around the world from here. Alright, I'm gonna pitch you something low and inside."

    3. iburl

      small talk about baseball:

      GOPStraightMan: Oh, yeah! The balls!
      EvilDemocratGayMan: Glugk! Glugk! Glugk!

    4. SarahsBush

      Makes Clinton's "I held it to my lips but didn't inhale" story seem like a stroke of genius, doesn't it?

      1. MichelesPantalones

        You just have to wonder why our lawmakers are SO FUCKING STUPID in the pathetic lying excuse department.

    5. Biel_ze_Bubba

      To be fair, you'd have to pay most guys at least $80 to talk about the Cubs for any length of time.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        You need to be at the pride parades. Yes all the dykes wear them. But a surprising number of gay boys seem to be making a Fanny Pack Fashion Statement these days. Also Bears. Bears do fanny packs.

    1. tcaalaw

      "Fanny" means something different in UK-land than it does here and I don't think Elton John would be interested in it.

  2. Come here a minute

    I am not going to look up "small talk about baseball" in the urban dictionary — I don't want to know!

    1. horsedreamer_1

      This has Dan Savage written all over it. He's looking to add a new slang to reflect the GOP's continued — even, intensified — anti-LGBTQ agenda, & doing to the name "Rick" what was already done to "Santorum" just seems lazy. (Though "Rick santorum" as the world's lewdest sentence does have its appeal.) So, unless Savage is a pathetic Cubs fan — he's from Chicago, no? — I don't see what "small talk about baseball" can't be the new slang.

  3. SorosBot

    Of course he's not gay; he probably thought the "good time" he hired the young man for was to suck his dick, and it's only gay if you're the sucker, not the suckee.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        It's a pretty common argument in Asia. Lots of guys who are married but keep the boyfriend in an apartment in the same building and strenuously deny being gay (pointing to wives and children, and femme-y bf as proof that they are MANLY men).

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I don't think they can afford "boyfriend in the apartment" but I know more than one Puerto Rican male who maintains the same attitude.

      1. SorosBot

        Well, by that same "logic" used by closeted homophobes, you'd be gay if you went down on another woman but not if she went down on you; but then they tend to ignore the existence of lesbians and focus all their projection and self-loathing-induced hate on gay men.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          Well, yes, because two "girls" getting it on is HOTHOTHOT straight-guy porn, but two men getting it on is, I dunno, disgusting, sleazy antiXtian? Of course they hate REAL lesbians as much as they hate ho-moz. Number three on their list after ho-moz and wimminz.

    1. weejee

      With all these guys, Marcus clearly will be too busy with all these fallen angels elephants to be Michele's First Fellatio Fellah.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      My ninth grade English teacher would advise the plural should be santora.

      & she would, too, given the thesaurii fiasco, & the fact she didn't get me suspended for writing a menage a trois ending to "The Lady or the Tiger?".

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Only if the singular was Santorus.

          (Trust me … we have a whole circle of Hell dedicated to this stuff.)

  4. BlueStateLibel

    I've heard this sort of lame-ass story from straights too. "I don't know what I was doing in his/her hotel room. Nothing happened, stop making a big deal about this." It's as utterly unconvincing as this old geezer.

      1. Fukui_sanYesOta

        Oh, I actually know the back-story to that. Billy didn't inhale – he was a bit too American for that. Rather he was an aficionado of heavily-laced hash or weed brownies, which he'd devour by the pan. So he didn't lie, but he was a hardcore pothead.

    1. fuflans

      speaking as a straight, i can say this never happens to me. never.

      when i am in a hotel room, i am there with a purpose.

    2. Dumbedup

      But doesn't the stink of utter hypocrisy somehow make it worse? Those politicians don't spend all their time whipping up hatred against heterosexuals, then deny they are hetero. These guys are just pure creeps.

  5. LettucePrey

    “I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.”

    He bent over it, apparently.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      He's getting slammed by this allegation. Positively reamed by these slurs on his good name.

      However, he won't let the liberal media jam it down his throat; no, he'll spit up the manbutter of rumor and instead gargle the lube of freedom.

      That's just how he rolls.

      1. TX_Bluebonnets

        Ewww. Just Ewww.

        Must mix drink. Wash out foul taste from mouth, evoked by vivid icky imagery.

        Wasn't the Blingee enough, dammit?

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Well, you could try this classic (as in, I heard of it three months ago) drink–The "cement mixer":

          It’s one shot of Bailey’s, followed by a shot of lime juice. While both are in your mouth, you shake your head like a cement mixer (hence the name, get it?). And this is when some chemistry takes over and the lime juice curdles in your mouth turning it into a coagulate mess of goo. It’s also known as the “cum” shot… for obvious reasons.

    2. ph7

      He's been to the edge, an' there he stood an' looked down
      You know he lost a lot of friends there baby, he got no time to mess around

    1. zhubajie

      Trying to pay a hooker with your Blackberry and iPad is dumber than Jerry Springer's bad check!

    2. Swampgas_Man

      Remember, the young man tried to run off, and Hinkle grabbed him by the dick, THEN gave him his cell. But there's nuthin' gay goin' on here!

    1. mayor_quimby

      You, sir, have boot seen enough hood birth names.
      There is an NFL player named D'brickashaw Ferguson.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          He's adopted. Apparently his adoptive parents didn't have the sense to change his birth name. He really ought to sue them. Or someone.

          1. __kth__

            I'm thinking if he's turning tricks with skeevy elderly right-wing closet cases, just maybe his Christian name is the least of his problems.

          2. MichelesPantalones

            In the kid's defense, he's real young and he claims this is the first time he's ever been up to such shenanigans. It must be tough to be, like, the sole black gay kid in bumfuck, Idaho, or wherever he is. And with a name like Kameryn, to boot.

      1. __kth__

        Hell, yes, some of the locals wanted my hapless Texans to take Ferguson in the 2006 draft, to keep David Carr from getting killed (they took DE Mario Williams, and Carr is now a 3rd-string QB for some other team due to being sacked 1000 times).

        The wikipedia says that D'Brickashaw is a misrendering of "de Bricassart", the name of Richard Chamberlain's character in The Thorn Birds mini-series. (For real!) Which I guess brings the discussion full circle.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          I figured by now there would be some kid playing at UT with the moniker "Fahrvergnügen." It's been about 20 years since that ad campaign, I can just imagine some pregnant urban girls seeing one of those ads and thinking "Fahrvergnügen! What a pretty name!!"

          1. MichelesPantalones

            A friend of mine named her kid Jovan. I pointed out that it was the name of some cheap cologne, but she told me I didn't understand how beautiful it sounded. I think her second kid was named Camry, or something like that.

          2. Jukesgrrl

            I know a middle-school teacher who maintains that for more than a decade, at least half the kids in his classes have been named after consumer products. He says the first he encountered was called Tylanol.

          3. mayor_quimby

            My godson only narrowly escaped such a fate. He is lucky to not have initials that spell out TDI

  6. gullywompr

    This has got to be one of the dumbest old geezers on the planet – I only would have charged him $20.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      When they're this stupid you can charge them anything. I would have asked for the keys to his Jag.

  7. henrypuppyhead

    All easily explained away people. He obviously tripped and fell into a gay hooker . . . in a leather bar.

  8. Callyson

    they simply made small talk about baseball
    Yes, well, I wouldn't be surprised if Hinkle's bat is on the small size…

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      But we are all certain that little Vienna sausage had a raging chubby the whole time he didn't "fall over the edge."

      1. MichelesPantalones

        I think Hinckle's might be more accurately described as a "moderate plumpy" rather than a "raging chubby."

  9. Neoyorquino

    “I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.” Ahh, orgasm denial. Whatever works for you,man.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      He means the buttseks was so vigorous it almost (but not quite) drove him right off the bed.

      That's how I choose to read it, at least.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    I know a few gay dudes, and their knowledge of baseball is limited to which players they would like to get it on with. So, Mr Hinkle, who's your designated hitter?

    1. weejee

      Here in C'Addle's Swish Alps, Mrs. weejee and I just can't remember "Take me out to the Ballgame" being one of the tunes at the somewhat festive neighborhood singalongs. Just sayin'.

  11. MiniMencken

    A old, balding white-haired guy can have sexytime with an 18 year-old for $80.oo in Gayistan? In a nice hotel rooom and not under a railroad bridge? Damn, now that outcall that wouldn't do me for less than $2,000.oo totally chaps my pussyholic ass.

  12. a_pink_poodle

    Clearly inviting a male prostitute to your hotel room with the intent of have gay sex is not gay in the slightest! You see there you liberals go again, with your revisionist language and your taking things way out of context!

  13. Negropolis

    What is a good time to this fucker for $80? What, was he expecting to bake cookies and watch primetime television and have pillow-tickle fights with the dude?

  14. Crank_Tango

    I been to the edge, and there I stood and looked down,
    You know I lost a lotta friends there baby,
    I got no time to mess around
    Mmmm, so if you want it got to bleed for it baby
    Yeah, got to got to bleed baby
    Mmmm, you got to got to bleed baby
    Hey, got to got to bleed baby
    Aint talkin bout love!

    1. __kth__

      Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge
      I'm tryin' not to lose my head
      Like a jungle sometimes.

      1. Gleem_McShineys

        Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge
        I'm tryin' not to lose my head
        Like a jungle sometimes.
        I like a bunghole sometimes.

  15. user-of-owls

    The rent-boy said he reduced his normal $200 rate (for a 'Scat' job) to $80 because, "I've always wanted to know what it was like to Dump A Hinkle."

  16. KenLayIsAlive

    “I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.”

    Look, he was just testing himself to see if he was gay. He passed this test, but he won't really know for sure until he is being double teamed by two solidly built gay men and doesn't like it at all.

  17. Negropolis

    “I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.”

    Wait, is this one of those "it's not gay if they don't touch?" rules, or something?

    1. jakegittes

      Nah. This is proof that you can pray away teh ghey. When he got to the edge, he prayed. He didn't fall over the edge. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

      1. Negropolis

        If the kid refusing to be used and hiding in the bathroom Charlie Sheen hooker-style is "praying", yeah, I guess he "prayed" himself from falling over the edge.

  18. Doktor Zoom

    I think this is really unfair, and far too quick to label a person just because of one tragic mistake. How typical of the Liberal Media to make callous, broad-brush allegations about a person just because he fell into temptation a single time, suggesting that a single example of aberrant behavior is evidence of a perverse lifestyle that is far removed from that person's normal proclivities.

    Wonkette should apologize, or at least endeavor to state the matter more clearly in the future: There's no evidence that Kameryn Gibson is a full-time gay prostitute.

    HE JUST WANTED A SUGGA DADDY! IS THAT SO WRONG??????

  19. Crank_Tango

    Didn't he offer 80 bucks for a "really good time"? sounds to me like he was underpaying and overselling, at the same time.

  20. bumfug

    “I went to the edge,” Hinkle said, “but I didn’t fall over the edge.”
    Sounds like a story a farmboy told me once about how you get a sheep to fuck you. Apparently, if you march them to the edge of a cliff, "them fuckers'll just keep backing up into ya".

  21. Negropolis

    Wait, what is Indianapolis' professional baseball team, again? Oh, you don't say. I meant basketball; yeah, basketball. How about them Pacers, amirite?

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Whatever else denial may or may not be, it is clearly living in Mr. Hinckle's pantalones.

  22. MistaEko

    A man who was looking for nothing but a good time and is living on the edge clearly is just yearning for the days of late 80s rock.

  23. Tundra Grifter

    If I got caught with an $80 male hooker, I wouldn't be gay, either. Heck, I wouldn't even be mildly happy.

  24. DerrickWildcat

    PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!
    Let's get our priorities in order!
    A Hurriquake is about to kill America.
    Some fat GOP Limbaugh lookin' fuck with a dick in his ass story…again…should be boring by now.

  25. owhatever

    Time for another one to spend more time with his family. The families of GOP lawmakers are going to rise up in anger soon. "It's okay by us if they rent gay hookers. Just don't make the frackkin' loser come back home to us. We didn't do anything."

  26. SorosBot

    O/T, and I should have mentioned this yesterday; but know there's been several posts about him on Wonkette (in fact, here's one of them: http://wonkette.com/309977/rudy-g-has-new-special… ); but my city's loudest, most obnoxious and public racist, Joey Vento, just died Tuesday. He owned a shitty cheesesteak place that's literally one block from my apartment, and was always spouting off shit against Mexicans, even though this neighborhood is somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 Latino. And he had a Confederate flag tattoo, in fucking Philadelphia.

    Anyway, is it wrong to feel kind of happy that the dude is dead? Because that is how I feel.

    1. Crank_Tango

      nah, life goes on. he would want you to be happy.

      also, Joey, the south called, and they think you're a n[redacted] too.

    2. donner_froh

      Damn–I had never heard of the guy until I I read your comment and the Quizzo guy article but I am glad he is dead and only hope that he suffered horribly during his death agony.

    3. Negropolis

      I'd be lying if I didn't say I felt some satisfaction when I heard of his death. Mostly, I was just pissed with how the media just loved him and overlooked his racism because it was old-timey Italian racism, which I guess isn't really a big deal.

      I remember when the media went down there for the "Speak English" sign he had outside of his restaurant, and couldn't help but laugh listening to his own regional accent and poor grasp of the English language. I find racism perpetuated by "ethnic" white people particularly maddening given that they should know how it feels to be negatively stereotyped.

      1. KenLayIsAlive

        Yeah, I have to hear this bullshit from some people close to me, people I really love.

        Aside from it just being gross and evil, there is also something very fucking pathetic when you see it as, partly, as an attempt to suck up to and fit in with the dominant culture. The only thing to do is to make the point you just did about the fact that people used to say the same ignorant shit about them for no reason. In my experience, that makes them think.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          I tried telling my mother that she would have been high on Hitler'sshit-list, FWIW. Didn't do the slightest bit of good.

      2. SorosBot

        And that's one portion of the history of racism in America that usually gets ignored; for over a century, until the 60s or 70s really, Italians, Irish, German, Polish and other Eastern European immigrants were not considered white, but were among the scary dark people threatening American civilization by just being here. However, as soon as the old-time WASP white people became a numerical minority, they expanded the definition of whiteness to include what had been the mics and wops and other non-WASP Europeans and their descendants.

  27. Rotundo_

    It is fun watching them squirm when they get caught with their dicks in rentboys, but there is a certain sameness to it all. It must be the closeted self loathing politically running against your own sexuality that brings a common theme of thoroughly implausible denial mixed with really poorly phrased explanations. Do these fellows ever just work through this and admit that they're gay and become ok with it? Or do they just sort of continue on with the faux marriage, and whack off to gay porn every night in their separate bedroom? One would hope they'd see a shrink, or even have it mandated as a condition of their sentencing for soliciting.

    1. Negropolis

      Also, from a purely PR aspect of this, if he wasn't going to really admit anything, wouldn't the best thing to have said been a simple "no comment"? It's kind of how I felt about the whole Anthony Wiener fiasco. He should have came out and said everything, or said nothing at all.

    2. Ken Layne

      There are a few, like California congressman David Dreier and pretty much every GOP congressional chief of staff, who don't bother with the beard wife and the constant denials. Mark Foley seemed to come about as close as a Republican can to admitting he was always gay, and he also didn't have a beard wife. But the Larry Craig version — constant ridiculous denial, refusal to retire, and eventual fading into quiet career as a closeted gay right wing lobbyist — seems to be the "norm."

  28. donner_froh

    Question: Representative Hinkle, if you aren't gay then why did you pay a young male who advertised he was looking for a sugadaddy to come to your hotel room?

    Answer: Another Gotcha question!

  29. JackObin

    He'll just say he was experimenting with cock, and jesus stopped him at the last minute. He will, as a result, be easily re-elected.

  30. JoshuaNorton

    before everybody notices that almost every Republican male politician is a “secret” homosexual.

    That's about as "secret" as a cat video on YouTube.

  31. subsum

    This is why I still love this country: I look forward to the outing of the next self-loathing gay Republican like a horny broad at the docks waiting for the fleet to arrive. Bring it on, bitches!

    1. Negropolis

      The problem is that the pace is so slow that others ones simply replace them. We aren't learning from these, either, so it's turned into a kind of silly game with no real social consequences.

  32. smitallica

    "I am NOT gay, people! The dude I paid to suck my cock, HE'S the gay one! How fucking hard is that to understand??"

  33. phlox✔

    He's an idiot for not hiring a professional escort. Craigslist is bullshit for this type of 'service'.
    Sure, you have to shell-out a couple of hundred more (than $80) but escorts can keep their yaps shut and won't steal your shit.
    Mostly.

  34. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If paying a guy $80 to suck your cock made you gay, my house would be much more tastefully decorated.

  35. GregComlish

    Every time a Republican is caught paying a young man for sexual services the media immediately suggest that the politician is a closeted gay man. Typical anti-Republican bias. But anybody who pays close attention to the news knows that these misunderstandings are incredibly common. They happen all the time to the Republicans and there's never anything gay about it.

  36. zhubajie

    Why don't they just quote Gore Vidal, that homosexuality is something they do, not something they are? Of course, GV is a Dem. and a lot smarter than most Rep.s put together.

  37. poncho_pilot

    i think there's a song appropriate for this situation:

    "I been to the edge
    And there I stood and looked down
    You know I lost a lot of friends there baby
    I got no time to mess around

    Mmm, so if you want it, got to plead for it baby
    Yeah! Got to, got to plead, baby
    Mmm, you got to, got to plead, baby
    Hey! Got to, got to plead baby

    Ain't talkin' 'bout love
    My love is rotten to the core
    Ain't talkin' 'bout love
    Just like I told you before! Before! Before!"

  38. elfgoldsackring

    "Anybody who knows my wife," Hinkle told The Star's political columnist, Matthew Tully, "knows she would not pay $10 to keep a mistake I made quiet, let alone $10,000."

    That, at least, has the ring of truth.

  39. HelmutNewton

    Seriously, the pathology of these old Gay Old Party closet cases is bizarre. In their minds they can engage in every conceivable sexual situation/position imaginable with another man/men. But as long as they stay married to their long-suffering wives, they're not "gay".

  40. widget2011

    Proving, once again, behind every authoritarian asshole lurks a feminine side. Also, as one of our commenters had so succintly put it: "Peen and Butt AAARRGGHHH."

  41. crybabyboehner

    “I went to the edge, but I didn’t fall over the edge.”

    Does that mean they did not discuss the pros and cons of the Designated Hitter?

  42. hagajim

    Livin' on the Edge! You can have yourself some ballllls….livin' on the edge, you delude yourself and allllll….yeah yeah yeah ….

  43. Swampgas_Man

    Look, if this guy's offering $80, a cell and an iPad for "going right up to the edge" — well, I'm right here, that's all I'm saying.

  44. Troubledog

    When they got to the hotel, Hinkel wanted to bareback, which costs $150, but refused to pay the diff, and that's when the fight started…

Comments are closed.