Gay Halloween Christmas comes early this year! Is that even a legal holiday? No? What is this? Oh, it is Glitter Bomb Fat Closet Case Marcus Bachmann’s Clinic Day! And as it is written, a mob of homosexuals descended upon Marcus Bachmann’s office to sing gay pagan carols to him dressed like cavemen and to receive whippings from a man in a gay Marcus Bachmann wig. Hallelujah!

And then there was dancing to some Madonna (?) song that St. Paul wrote the lyrics to during one of his extended desert walkabout prayer comas, and gay baby Jesus smiled, along with everyone else. The end! [YouTube]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • hagajim

    The gheyz are comin' Marcus…they're gonna take you to rectal-rectum land.

  • Crank_Tango

    Well I made it to 41 seconds, which is 41 seconds longer than I watch most videos on here, so that counts for something, I guess.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Yeah, 90% of the videos Wonkette video posts I never click on. Mostly because of all the screeching (Snowbilly & Shelley). Oh, and the stupid.

    • flamingpdog

      Fast forward to 2:28 where "Marcus" gets glittered. That's the only part that wouldn't embarrass gay choreographers.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Imagine if Tiananmen Square or the Vietnam protests had been this well choreographed. Clearly Bob Fosse missed his true calling.

  • chascates

    Can they pray for Marcus and cure his homophobia?

    • OzoneTom

      And to do something about Michele's dreadful shoes, please.

  • The guy playing Marcus needs to gay it up a little.

  • Keep your filthy paws off Marcus' silky drawers, ya damn hippies!

  • BZ1

    Wasn't Marcus tempted to join in??

  • flamingpdog

    Next time, please get an old fat lesbian to play the Marcus part.

    • Seriously. Scanning past the beginning, I thought I was looking at a John Kerry knock-off in that skinny guy.

      • DeLand_DeLakes

        I was part of the mob, and I had the thought that perhaps this is what a young Marcus may have looked like, before he got bloated on self-loathing and backed-up cum.

    • karen

      For real, there's plenty to go around. Just take their horrible slick-backed and spiked hair, wash it, blow-dry it to the side, and voila!

  • RedneckMuslin

    Can't listen to the audio right now. Are they playing "Thriller"?

    • flamingpdog

      In deference to Michele, they're playing "Shriller".

    • Lascauxcaveman

      dancing to some Madonna (?) song that St. Paul wrote the lyrics to during one of his extended desert walkabout prayer comas

      Not gonna click on the video, because I have this beautiful vision in my mind of St. Paul bopping around the desert singing "Like A Virgin" at the top of his lungs.

      • flamingpdog

        On the road to Damaskus?

    • HuddledMass

      Lady Gaga's "Born this Way" guys – Geez, get with the program.

  • THIS! IS! TEH GHEY!!!!*

    *the homo denying Spartan war epic lauded by wingnuts 300 still makes me laugh.

  • Callyson

    Now, how many of those dancers did Marcus surreptitiously up – skirt and/or down – blouse?
    I'm going with "All of 'em, Katie"…

  • Callyson

    Also, for those of you who can't watch the entire video, fast forward to 4:00 for the punchline…

  • baconzgood


    But seriously gay people, why don't you do it NYC 69 style any more ( I still don't know how to do the red thingie so here is the link… ). Sure you all got lisps and prance about, but you also all have gym memberships and disposable income!!!!

    • Doktor Zoom

      I'm pretty sure plenty still do it 69 style, regardless of what city they're in.

  • edgydrifter

    What's in your banana hammock?

  • sati_demise

    those monsters

  • sati_demise

    glitter monsters

  • OneYieldRegular

    This is absolutely terrible. I mean, my god – if these filthy, tawdry rags are what drag has come to, then there's no hope for gay America.

  • Schmannnity

    Minnesota: the other Counterculture. (The other White Meat? Can't decide)

    • LesBontemps

      Minnesota: Where Gheys Are Fabulous Enough Even Dressed Like That.

    • Negropolis

      Minnesota: Not just white, but Minnesota White.

  • Marcus Pray the Gay Away is pushing his own quacksalver when in his heart of hearts he knows his salve is santorum.

  • SexySmurf

    This video is terrible, but it will probably still make more money than Conan the Barbarian 3D.

    • Shit, if the studio got $12.50 every time a burly shirtless Barbarian appeared in Marcus' wet dreams, it be a blockbuster.

  • SorosBot

    The guy playing Marcus is way too thin to be convincing.

  • SorosBot

    Also, Kirsten, was the "Madonna (?)" a subtle comment on how Born This Way ripped off Express Yourself? If so, good one.

  • I got chills when they "baptized" the Marcus guy!
    Reminds me of marching in London's Gay Pride parade with my (still in the closet) friend, way back in '76.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "they "baptized" the Marcus guy"

      Now I REALLY don't want to watch this…

  • flamingpdog

    This Babarian looks pretty ghey, too. And Republican.

  • ThundercatHo


  • This is just what Marcus has been secretly praying for, You could see it in his eyes…..hear it in his lisp…'s in his WALK.

    • Indiepalin

      Is it in his piss?

  • I don't mean to sound like a homophobe, but do they have to act so gay?

  • x111e7thst

    Oh my Marcus, what a teensy little cockwhip you have!

  • Pragmatist2

    "gay pagan carols"???
    Oh, like "don we now our gay apparel!"

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Don We?
      Who is he?
      I know Don Ho, Don Juan, and Don Johnson, but this Don We guy is new. San Francisco clothing sales? One of Marcus's closest good buddies, I'll bet. Is that where Michele buys her "puttin' on the ritz" gowns, the ones she wears to the Minnesota State Fair when she judges the pig calling contest?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I left the sound off, so all I can say is that it looks like the worst amateur production of Rent ever made. But I'm in Texas, what the fuck do I know about Broadway musicals.

    • fuflans

      pretty damn good choreography for flash mob though.

  • Flat_Earther

    God, how I love a good pagan ritual…

  • SayItWithWookies

    It's like those barbarians don't even want to be cured. Their actions are clearly an affront to the father of non-degreed social psychologists everywhere, St. Paul.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Gaynan! What is best in life?

    To glitter-bomb your enemies, see them close their blinds and ignore you, and to hear, from behind their locked doors, the muffled tut-tutting of their women.

    (Hey, if they're going to repeat the same protest, I'm going to repost the same comment)

  • Slim_Pickins

    Fram, Fram Christmen Crossmen isn't pagan.

  • Barb

    I watched the whole video. I should get a prize or something.

    • LesBontemps

      90 minutes of sex?

  • FakaktaSouth

    I love happy people who will shake their butts for freedom. It's so much better than that depressing chanty sit-in-y stuff.

    • SorosBot

      Just like parties, the gays always seem to through the funnest protests.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Marcus was going to meet with the protesters, but for some reason, when he saw them, he started packing a major boner and was too embarrassed to go out in public.

  • Doktor Zoom

    While I appreciate the sentiment, this sort of thing should not be encouraged. It can only encourage others, with tragic consequences.

    (One of those women is Kid Zoom's grandmother. When she asked what he thought of her video activism, he said, "Wow–that took a lot of guts." I see a bright career in diplomacy for the boy)

    • "..and profit a plen-ity…" Cute. Thank god they weren't *all* wearing red hats, à la society of the same name.

  • Guppy06


    I guess it's better than bombing the place…

  • Negropolis

    I am laughing so hard, right now. Mostly 'cause of the little boy up front who is clearly enjoying this entirely too much. lol

    The horde; she grows bigger…

  • owhatever

    At first, I thought it was just all of the Marcus-Michele kids and foster kids getting together for a family reunion and being daddy's little darlings. Still do.

  • rocktonsam

    happy now, Marcus?

  • tribbzthesquidz

    I thought this was very sweet. Phooey on all the naysayers tonight.

  • valgal2342

    It's the silk stocking set!

  • fuflans

    rick perry would shoot these people.

    • mog253

      But first he'd get life insurance on them.

    • Negropolis

      Sarah Palin would shoot them, too. But she'd do it from a helicopter.

  • ttommyunger

    Why watch this short video when C-SPAN broadcasts the same stuff 24-7?

  • L188188

    You know the "not that there's anything wrong with that" cliche? Well, even as a very open-minded person, I am well prepared to say there IS something wrong with gay street theater. Curse you Lady Gaga.

  • thefrontpage

    This is one of the best and most funniest videos in years.

    Every member of the Republican Party should be made to sit and watch this video, repeatedly, in a loop, around the clock, for 24 hours.

    Michelle and Marcus Brachmann are assholes.

  • nanooknw

    Well if they can picket abortion clinics. Why not a cure the gay clinic!

  • Veritas78

    I'd say the Bachmann campaign is in deep trouble. These people actually rehearsed, for Chrissake.

Previous articleHuffington Post Girl Reporter: Michele Bachmann Is A-OK, Except For Ugly Shoes
Next articleGay Old Republican Lawmaker Caught With Male Hooker Is ‘Not Gay’