NO SUCH THING AS 'TOO MUCH GLITTER'  6:55 pm August 25, 2011

Giant Gay Barbarian Horde Mobs Marcus Bachmann’s Clinic (VIDEO)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Gay Halloween Christmas comes early this year! Is that even a legal holiday? No? What is this? Oh, it is Glitter Bomb Fat Closet Case Marcus Bachmann’s Clinic Day! And as it is written, a mob of homosexuals descended upon Marcus Bachmann’s office to sing gay pagan carols to him dressed like cavemen and to receive whippings from a man in a gay Marcus Bachmann wig. Hallelujah!

And then there was dancing to some Madonna (?) song that St. Paul wrote the lyrics to during one of his extended desert walkabout prayer comas, and gay baby Jesus smiled, along with everyone else. The end! [YouTube]

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Hola wonkerados.

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hagajim August 25, 2011 at 6:57 pm

The gheyz are comin' Marcus…they're gonna take you to rectal-rectum land.

Crank_Tango August 25, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Well I made it to 41 seconds, which is 41 seconds longer than I watch most videos on here, so that counts for something, I guess.

Texan_Bulldog August 25, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Yeah, 90% of the videos Wonkette video posts I never click on. Mostly because of all the screeching (Snowbilly & Shelley). Oh, and the stupid.

flamingpdog August 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Fast forward to 2:28 where "Marcus" gets glittered. That's the only part that wouldn't embarrass gay choreographers.

BarackMyWorld August 25, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Imagine if Tiananmen Square or the Vietnam protests had been this well choreographed. Clearly Bob Fosse missed his true calling.

chascates August 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Can they pray for Marcus and cure his homophobia?

OzoneTom August 25, 2011 at 7:40 pm

And to do something about Michele's dreadful shoes, please.

KenLayIsAlive August 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm

The guy playing Marcus needs to gay it up a little.

writechic August 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Keep your filthy paws off Marcus' silky drawers, ya damn hippies!

BZ1 August 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Wasn't Marcus tempted to join in??

flamingpdog August 25, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Next time, please get an old fat lesbian to play the Marcus part.

Mumbletypeg August 25, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Seriously. Scanning past the beginning, I thought I was looking at a John Kerry knock-off in that skinny guy.

DeLand_DeLakes August 26, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I was part of the mob, and I had the thought that perhaps this is what a young Marcus may have looked like, before he got bloated on self-loathing and backed-up cum.

karen August 26, 2011 at 8:17 am

For real, there's plenty to go around. Just take their horrible slick-backed and spiked hair, wash it, blow-dry it to the side, and voila!

RedneckMuslin August 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Can't listen to the audio right now. Are they playing "Thriller"?

flamingpdog August 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

In deference to Michele, they're playing "Shriller".

Lascauxcaveman August 25, 2011 at 7:43 pm

dancing to some Madonna (?) song that St. Paul wrote the lyrics to during one of his extended desert walkabout prayer comas

Not gonna click on the video, because I have this beautiful vision in my mind of St. Paul bopping around the desert singing "Like A Virgin" at the top of his lungs.

flamingpdog August 25, 2011 at 10:44 pm

On the road to Damaskus?

HuddledMass August 26, 2011 at 10:31 am

Lady Gaga's "Born this Way" guys – Geez, get with the program.

ManchuCandidate August 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm


*the homo denying Spartan war epic lauded by wingnuts 300 still makes me laugh.

Callyson August 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Now, how many of those dancers did Marcus surreptitiously up – skirt and/or down – blouse?
I'm going with "All of 'em, Katie"…

Callyson August 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Also, for those of you who can't watch the entire video, fast forward to 4:00 for the punchline…

baconzgood August 25, 2011 at 7:16 pm


But seriously gay people, why don't you do it NYC 69 style any more ( I still don't know how to do the red thingie so here is the link… ). Sure you all got lisps and prance about, but you also all have gym memberships and disposable income!!!!

Doktor Zoom August 25, 2011 at 9:29 pm

I'm pretty sure plenty still do it 69 style, regardless of what city they're in.

edgydrifter August 25, 2011 at 7:17 pm

What's in your banana hammock?

sati_demise August 25, 2011 at 7:18 pm

those monsters

sati_demise August 25, 2011 at 7:18 pm

glitter monsters

OneYieldRegular August 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

This is absolutely terrible. I mean, my god – if these filthy, tawdry rags are what drag has come to, then there's no hope for gay America.

Schmannnity August 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Minnesota: the other Counterculture. (The other White Meat? Can't decide)

LesBontemps August 25, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Minnesota: Where Gheys Are Fabulous Enough Even Dressed Like That.

Negropolis August 25, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Minnesota: Not just white, but Minnesota White.

weejee August 25, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Marcus Pray the Gay Away is pushing his own quacksalver when in his heart of hearts he knows his salve is santorum.

SexySmurf August 25, 2011 at 7:20 pm

This video is terrible, but it will probably still make more money than Conan the Barbarian 3D.

KenLayIsAlive August 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Shit, if the studio got $12.50 every time a burly shirtless Barbarian appeared in Marcus' wet dreams, it be a blockbuster.

SorosBot August 25, 2011 at 7:21 pm

The guy playing Marcus is way too thin to be convincing.

SorosBot August 25, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Also, Kirsten, was the "Madonna (?)" a subtle comment on how Born This Way ripped off Express Yourself? If so, good one.

ProudLibunatic August 25, 2011 at 7:26 pm

I got chills when they "baptized" the Marcus guy!
Reminds me of marching in London's Gay Pride parade with my (still in the closet) friend, way back in '76.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

"they "baptized" the Marcus guy"

Now I REALLY don't want to watch this…

flamingpdog August 25, 2011 at 7:27 pm

This Babarian looks pretty ghey, too. And Republican.

not that Dewey August 25, 2011 at 7:42 pm

We need a symbol. Something that says we're gay…AND Republican.

ThundercatHo August 25, 2011 at 7:28 pm


sunmusing August 25, 2011 at 7:30 pm

This is just what Marcus has been secretly praying for, You could see it in his eyes…..hear it in his lisp…'s in his WALK.

Indiepalin August 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

Is it in his piss?

DerrickWildcat August 25, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I don't mean to sound like a homophobe, but do they have to act so gay?

x111e7thst August 25, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Oh my Marcus, what a teensy little cockwhip you have!

Pragmatist2 August 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

"gay pagan carols"???
Oh, like "don we now our gay apparel!"

Dudleydidwrong August 25, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Don We?
Who is he?
I know Don Ho, Don Juan, and Don Johnson, but this Don We guy is new. San Francisco clothing sales? One of Marcus's closest good buddies, I'll bet. Is that where Michele buys her "puttin' on the ritz" gowns, the ones she wears to the Minnesota State Fair when she judges the pig calling contest?

BaldarTFlagass August 25, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I left the sound off, so all I can say is that it looks like the worst amateur production of Rent ever made. But I'm in Texas, what the fuck do I know about Broadway musicals.

fuflans August 26, 2011 at 1:16 am

pretty damn good choreography for flash mob though.

Flat_Earther August 25, 2011 at 8:01 pm

God, how I love a good pagan ritual…

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2011 at 8:04 pm

It's like those barbarians don't even want to be cured. Their actions are clearly an affront to the father of non-degreed social psychologists everywhere, St. Paul.

Doktor Zoom August 25, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Gaynan! What is best in life?

To glitter-bomb your enemies, see them close their blinds and ignore you, and to hear, from behind their locked doors, the muffled tut-tutting of their women.

(Hey, if they're going to repeat the same protest, I'm going to repost the same comment)

Slim_Pickins August 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Fram, Fram Christmen Crossmen isn't pagan.

Barb August 25, 2011 at 8:16 pm

I watched the whole video. I should get a prize or something.

LesBontemps August 25, 2011 at 9:46 pm

90 minutes of sex?

FakaktaSouth August 25, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I love happy people who will shake their butts for freedom. It's so much better than that depressing chanty sit-in-y stuff.

SorosBot August 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Just like parties, the gays always seem to through the funnest protests.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Marcus was going to meet with the protesters, but for some reason, when he saw them, he started packing a major boner and was too embarrassed to go out in public.

Doktor Zoom August 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm

While I appreciate the sentiment, this sort of thing should not be encouraged. It can only encourage others, with tragic consequences.

(One of those women is Kid Zoom's grandmother. When she asked what he thought of her video activism, he said, "Wow–that took a lot of guts." I see a bright career in diplomacy for the boy)

Mumbletypeg August 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm

"..and profit a plen-ity…" Cute. Thank god they weren't *all* wearing red hats, à la society of the same name.

Guppy06 August 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm


I guess it's better than bombing the place…

Negropolis August 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

I am laughing so hard, right now. Mostly 'cause of the little boy up front who is clearly enjoying this entirely too much. lol

The horde; she grows bigger…

owhatever August 25, 2011 at 9:05 pm

At first, I thought it was just all of the Marcus-Michele kids and foster kids getting together for a family reunion and being daddy's little darlings. Still do.

rocktonsam August 25, 2011 at 10:52 pm

happy now, Marcus?

tribbzthesquidz August 25, 2011 at 11:11 pm

I thought this was very sweet. Phooey on all the naysayers tonight.

valgal2342 August 25, 2011 at 11:57 pm

It's the silk stocking set!

fuflans August 26, 2011 at 1:08 am

rick perry would shoot these people.

mog253 August 26, 2011 at 11:17 am

But first he'd get life insurance on them.

Negropolis August 26, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Sarah Palin would shoot them, too. But she'd do it from a helicopter.

ttommyunger August 26, 2011 at 11:23 am

Why watch this short video when C-SPAN broadcasts the same stuff 24-7?

L188188 August 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

You know the "not that there's anything wrong with that" cliche? Well, even as a very open-minded person, I am well prepared to say there IS something wrong with gay street theater. Curse you Lady Gaga.

thefrontpage August 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm

This is one of the best and most funniest videos in years.

Every member of the Republican Party should be made to sit and watch this video, repeatedly, in a loop, around the clock, for 24 hours.

Michelle and Marcus Brachmann are assholes.

nanooknw August 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Well if they can picket abortion clinics. Why not a cure the gay clinic!

Veritas78 August 26, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I'd say the Bachmann campaign is in deep trouble. These people actually rehearsed, for Chrissake.

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