Look, Jon Huntsman isn’t going to win anything, ever again. He is a dull half-smart technocrat who believes in the Wrong Jesus and Evolution and seems to think Kenyan golf star Barack Obama is legally the president of AmeriKKKa.
So now he’s just doing an “anti-victory lap” so he can get on Mitt Romney’s corporate board or maybe become CEO of the Utah Olympics, whenever that happens next. And we are supposed to say, “Oh look a reasonable Republican presidential candidate” instead of saying the actual truth, which is, “Go to Hell, Jon Huntsman. There aren’t going to be any rich people by 2012, because poor people are going to murder them all, and eat them.” [PBS TeeVee]
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How can he run his campaign while in hiding?
like Gaddafi perhaps
Hiding in plain sight.
As a huntsman, he is supremely capable of camouflage.
Who?
EGG-zaklee.
"There aren’t going to be any rich people by 2012, because poor people are going to murder them all, and eat them.”
With some hobo beans, and a nice Chianti.
Rich people make the best Soylent Green as they're grain fed (Whole Foods) and well exercised unlike the olds which is mostly gristle and corn syrup.
Those half gallons of Gallo count as "nice", right?
Well they're nice and big, ain't they?
After about a quart they do.
or Thunderbird. whatever's handy.
I saw what you did with that census taker, there.
Rich-people bacon is delicious. The ribs are pretty fatty, but the hams are the best, particularly smoked. On the USDA-Select Grade ones you can still see the imprint of the Herman Miller Aeron Chair they sat in. An '05 Napa Cabernet is probably the best accompaniment.
WIN
I call the turkey neck!!
I bet rich people are tough and chewy. Wouldn't poor, fat people be better eats?
It's no big whoop, ya put 'em in the crock pot all day with some BBQ sauce and it's billionaire pulled long pork. 2 legs good, 4 legs bad.
Rich people are delicious! Like Kobe Beef… with the pamperin' and massaging… I'm grillin' up some tonight.
Ahaha. I was so close. ; )
Are you kidding? With the organic foods and daily massages these pricks get?
Think Kobe beef times ten.
What I learned today:
Rich people taste like Kobe beef.
HA! Love it!
Kobe beef?
Kobe, the Bean Bryant tastes like the tears of poor white hotel desk clerks. It's what gives him the strength to be a champion\.
Rich people leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. (donot go there people)
But there's a pretty decent "ramming it down our throats" crack to be made!
If you look at English cartoons from the 18th century, the rich are lampooned as pampered, fat, and suffering from gout, unlike the poor, who are rail thin. In 21st century America, it's exactly the reverse. Except for the pampering.
Pampering? But enough about Vitter…
Oh, I bet there are plenty of rich fat guys for us to cook over our oil-drum fires.
Christie and Rushbo is more than the recommended daily allowance of rich fat guys, though.
Two words: marbled fat.
Once the Tea-tards realize he is actually a candidate, they will denounce him as a RINO or some other horrible thing, but he is on the fringes of their radar, due to his relative sane-ness. (in comparison to crazy-eyes, Perry texas ranger etc…)
Pro-tax? Next you'll say he's for the people, not corprats masquerading as people.
Corprats are people too… waaahhh…
Teabuggers don't like him because he spells his first name without the "H", which stands for Homosexual.
Odd that the GOP wants to start a boys's band, then.
(Gingrich is the creepy band director.)
Jonathan: King David's "more than any woman" gay lover.
John: Jesus' "beloved disciple" gay lover.
So… what kind of gay is the Bible telling us he is?
Or my favorite, The Amazing Johnathan.
Oh, all of them, Katie.
Rich people are smart! That's why they're rich. If you're not rich, you're dumb. And you should pay more taxes. I am giving all my money to rich people today so that they can kill me. Whew. That's a load off my mind!
Eat the Rich by Motorhead: http://youtu.be/DWpXdQJ-8bg
If you want to be taken seriously by the GOP you got to take the crazy up to a 15 Jon,
Has anyone checked on him in the last few hours? He could be a goner…
Dude's gonna need some help with the message [spit!] He'd do better if he said "Ill raise taxes on all the niggers, and especially the rich ones. Then I'll tax all the illegals before I throw them in concentration camps." Winning!
Howard Cain disapproves of this message.
Fine, as far as it goes, but how's he going to stand out from the crowd?
Trying to win the GOP primary by seeming even marginally sane is so not the way to play this thing Huntsman.
As can be seen by the conspicuous absence of any Huntsman followers.
He's either given up completely or it's genius.
Waddya know. I knew it would only be a matter of time before we found a rightie who was to the LEFT of Barry.
Upfisted like a Mental Organism Designed Only to Plus. MODOP.
Say "Black Socialist Bastard" one time Mr Huntsman and a guarantee you'll lead the polls by Monday morning.
I believe the better phrase is "Kenyan NIgger Communist."
Ahhh yes the Birthers almost forgot about them good use of the word Kenyan.
Better yet, "Kenyan Faggot Communist". KFC is something that is assimilated real easy into teatard thought processes (and onto thighs and breasts, too, also).
"I'm not saying higher taxes: they [the rich] can make other contributions too."
Folks in Bed-Stuy are looking forward to their Dior hand me downs and left over fois gras.
John Huntsman is still alive? How can you tell?
I have it on good word from Tim Pawlenty.
Thanks Ken! "The Wrong Jesus and Evolution" will be my new band name.
Meanwhile, Repubs into 80s alternative rock are forming the Jesus and Larry (Craig) Chain.
Not only does he not sound like this year's garden variety zombie Republican, he sounds more Democrat than Obomber!
I know. Between that and Rove shitting on Sarah Lou's parade I am beginning to wonder if Mr. Mxyzptlk is around switching spinal columns on politicians. And yes I had to look that spelling up. Also, I would like to add that the now disgraced Gilbert Gottfried did the best Mxyzptlk ever, on Superman the Animated Series. Damn his racist jokes, I loved him before that.
No he is talking about means testing Social Security hardly talking about raising taxes. This is the new Republican talking point they are floating and it’s a truly nasty piece of work. Turn SS into a welfare program and then chop the shit out of it because it’s redistribution of wealth. He is just Sarah Palin with an IQ and elocution lessons.
I heard that one just a few weeks ago at a dinner party. I was pounding the table like Khrushchev in a matter of seconds. Raised eyebrows all around. Now I'm the selfish one who won't give up my pension to help the truly deserving poor. Asshats.
Needs moar insane hatred, Jon.
So does this make him to the left of Obama or the frontrunner for the Socialist Party?
Makes him a pretty good alternative to Joe Biden.
Does this mean Huntsman's gonna be blackballed from participating in Dancing with the 'Tards?
He will, but one of his semi-hot daughters may get in on it. Bristle will not like that shit at all! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2023266/P...
Also, he's apparently raising one of his adopted daughters as a Hindu
http://madmikesamerica.com/2011/08/mormon-jon-hun...
This guy is so fucked as a R, but he might be able to run as a D in 2016
Interesting.
End social programs for "people that don't need them", eh? Wonder which people he means? (hint: he's a Republican)
Corporate jet subsidies?
All of 'em, Katie.
Totally, dood.
Don't have the URL at my fingertips, but the best explanation I've seen of Huntsman is: he knows he can't win in the current radical GOP field/primary season, so he has gotten on the "Straight Talk Express" to position himself for 2016. The electoral failure of a Teabag-driven Presidential slate in 2012 will supposedly revive and embolden the Sanity Wang of the GOP.
There's a "Sanity Wang" in the GOP?
Yes, but it's got shrinkage issues.
Shrinkage? It's been completely cut off from the rest of the party, since the Bobbits went all John Wayne on it.
Cause that "positioning for the next go round" has worked so well for Mittens?!
Not sure that moving to the back of a human centipede is a strategy for success. Just sayin'.
The Sanity Wing is daid Chet. Daid. Except for David Durenberger. Maybe. http://www.stthomas.edu/mc/nihp/20110822/default….
Everyone know there ain't no Sanity Clause.
And if there were, he couldn't even see his own Wang.
Knew y'all would find that typo fertile, so I left it in!
Careful with the fertile ones, the leaving it in, I mean.
"As president, I wouldn't hesitate to call on a sacrifice from all of our people, even those at the very highest end of the income spectrum," Huntsman said. "I'm not saying higher taxes, but there are contributions they can make too."
Oh, how brave. Maybe the rich people can put an extra bathroom in their private jets, thereby employing a plumber and an electrician for a day or so each. Or maybe just drop a few pennies from the castle walls on the grateful, adoring masses. Fucker. If that counts as brave, I'm Audie fuckin' Murphy.
I love the construction "even those at the very highest end of the income spectrum". It's usually phrased in the opposite manner, that even the poorest must sacrfice. Whereas sacrifice from the rich should come easily.
Crazy eyebrows! Gonna need some BOTOX ® by the time he pulls out of the race.
Bet he wouldn't be talking all sane and shit if it said "Fox News" down in the lower left instead of "PBS NewsHour."
"Well, I'm not saying higher taxes…I'm saying that there are contributions that they can make too."
Ah, so he's actually running for President of the United Charities of America…
Huntsman:GOP primary::snowball:hell
Pfftttt! Amateur!
But he does go full wingnut on the environment, promising to end the "tyranny" of the EPA
There is no environment in Utah, so he's understandably clueless.
We call Jon the H-Bomb.
And we call Perry the "Preparation H-Bomb"
What can we say but Rick likes it rough?
(He's a power-bottom.)
I'd hit it.
Huntsman has an interesting strategy: piss off the people whose votes he'd need.
Well it has worked for Obama so far. What with us being chattering classes of professional extremist leftist progressive pantywaists.
Seems to work for the Democrats.
*zing!*
Hey Huntsman! Ya just don't go livin with no commies for two years then come crawlin back cause a job MAY open up in Washington.
The unfrateful wretch.
Clearly Huntsman cannot be taken seriously as a GOP candidate, as he has not taken a position on creeping Sharia law, Obama's real birth certificate, the UN take over of the United States, Gays not having sex because of their dirty, dirty urges, the Rich being subsidized by the poor, or the need to bomb all of the brown people in this world.
But he could possibly split votes from 'the Boy-in-chief' if he decided to run as Indie. You heard it here first!
Hello, he worked for Obama! End of even thinking about starting a discussion.
Going Rogue–you're doing it wrong.
He is definitely to the left of Obama, but not as progressive as Hitler.
"As president, I wouldn't hesitate to call on a sacrifice from all of our people, even those at the very highest end of the income spectrum,"
"As president, I wouldn't hesitate to call for a sacrifice of all of "our" people, those at the very highest end of the income spectrum,"
/fixed
It'd be helpful if everyone would stop referring to paying taxes as "giving" or "sacrificing." No one says that about paying $4/gallon for gas. Taxes are part of the social contract of living in a civilized society, so let's start using the correct term: privilege.
Oh, and Huntsman's so fucked. Who keeps "giving" him money, you have to wonder.
"Taxes are part of the social contract of living in a civilized society, so let's start using the correct term: privilege. "
Very, very well said.
He is so damned to Mormon hell (i.e. an eternal mission to The Castro on a bike with flat tires whilst wearing nothing but leather chaps and a skinny tie) now.
Are the chaps "assless"?
Are the Palins classless?
Obligatory pointing-out that all chaps are assless; if they weren't assless, they'd be pants.
Thank you, emmelemm! Eyes examined while you wait!
A better term, then, might be "pantsless chaps," but "assless chaps" paints a more vivid picture, and poetry trumps pedantry.
Points well taken.
Since Huntsman did his mission in Taiwan, it might be more accurate to dress him in chinks.
So reassuring. So trust-inspiring. A moderate Republican who actively campaigned for the McCain/Palin straight-off-the-cliff express and who's said he'd serve as Michele Bachmann's VP should she be the nominee.
Ken, with four posts yesterday and one today are you getting overtime?
Ken Layne: Job Creator! For Ken Layne!
Wake me up when he rips off his latex mask to reveal….Evan Bayh!!
Straight out of Scooby-Doo, the film for which featured Matthew Lillard ("Shaggy"), & Matthew Lillard made his breakthru in… SLC Punk!
Full Circle.
I'm sorry, which party's primary is he running in again?
That would be the Goddamn RINO party, apparently.
UNITY2012?
This interrogative paid for by Bloomberg-Huntsman for America. Nicole Polizzi, treasurer.
No!! No!!!
Andrew Breitbart edited this video for you, didn't he?
I wonder if Mr. Huntsman would find it helpful to illustrate where our deficit came from by using this handy Chart That Should Accompany All Discussions of the Federal Debt.
But we've got to move forward. Like Mark McGuire testifying before Congress, we're not here to talk about the past. That's why Cheney is doing the book'n'talk-show circuit instead of sitting at the defense table in war crimes trial, too.
So now the GOP will have to decide if they actually want to be conservative, or screaming reactionaries like they've been for the past few years.
One way or the other there will be a purge, and either way it will make for great entertainment.
Oh shit…he appeared on PBS? Well, there's the deal breaker right there.
He just wanted to continue his anonymous campaign.
For some reason I can't seem to find any Bachmann/Huntsman 2012 t-shirts on CafePress.
He is just angling for a spot on the Political Bureau of the Central Committee. No one told him that the USSR lost and the People's Republic of China won.
Could the poors just work harder? Take on three jobs? If the poors has three jobs we wouldn't hear soo much whining.
You know Jon's in trouble with the wingtards when I don't shudder at the thought of him being POTUS.
This poor poor bazterd will get nailed to the cross of reason with anti-tax nails hammered in deep by tri-cornered-hat-wearing-freedom-loving-warriors…… awww fuck them, they will disappear just like the wooly mammoth and the doe doe bird.
Ok Im drunk, so what !!!???
Havent you everrblarrggh??
Oh, Mr. Huntsman? Find a better people to hang with. Yes?
This guy might actually be a Democrat in this day and age….
It's an indication of how cynical and fucked up the mainstream media is that none of the chattering class has anything to say in response to Huntsman's "new direction" other than "he must be crazy for thinking he can get anywhere in the primaries with it!" No discussion of the actual substance, which is an indirect way of saying, "it doesn't matter that the rest of the Republican candidates are either insane or pretending to be, because that's how you play the game. Political media coverage is now ESPN through November 2012!"
It's that, but it's also that if you actually look at his platform, it's not really all that different from generic GOP bullshit talking points couched in 'friendler' language. Even in this language all one keeps getting is a guy who basically ideological kin to all the rest of the candidates, but is annoyed by the style in which they deliver their message. IMO, the media doesn't need to dig any deeper into him, because he's trying to play them like they've already played him.
Different bag, same shit.
And, I still think it's backstabbin' to work for a guy and then run against him, regardless of party.
And, not just work for the guy, but he genuinely played up that he liked the guy when he was offered the job. The dude's a total fake, and he insults even the limited intelligence of the base of the GOP if he thinks he can convince them that he wasn't gracious for the job Obama gave him. It really is galling that he'd have the balls the live it up in china on the good graces and reputation of the president, and literally two years later and repeat shamelessly again and again that the president has "failed" us.
I loathe Huntsman. He's even worse than Romney when it comes to talking out of both sides of his mouth, and the gall he has to criticize the other candidates is nothing short of amazing. The whole "I'm the serious adult in the room" routine is disgusting considering how unserious he is in the way he's chosen to run his campaign.
Shorter Huntsman: "Greetings from 2016!"
I love you, Ken Layne.
who does Huntsman think he is, the second coming of Barry Goldwater? probably just as successful given today's GOP sensibilities…
I might be a little drunk, but that answer was still completely nonsensical.
Hey, now. They believe in the same Jesus; they've just got him bunched up with a whole cast of additional characters instead of standing alone and above.
BTW, I love when they ask him if he'd ever be on a Romney ticket, and he genuinely starts laughing out loud. They fucking loathe each other, and I love the tension. There aren't two other candidates in the race where the genuine dislike is so palpable.
Jon Huntsman: he makes Vanillia seem exciting.
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