Speaking of hobbits, Wannabe Nerd President Barack Obama would like to be a belated guest to this “Let’s Talk About Tolkien!” party that is happening in Washington, for some reason.
President Obama is a fan of at least one comic book superhero, and Lord of the Rings devotees should be comforted to know they have a compatriot in the White House.
Obama revealed these and other details to two Scholastic News Kids Press Corps reporters in an exclusive July interview, which the kids magazine posted online this week.
“When I was your age… I’d probably gotten a little too old for the Hardy Boys and that stuff,” Obama told Topanga Sena, 10, of Orlando, Florida, and Jacob Schroeder, 11, of Albuquerque, New Mexico. “I think I was getting into the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit and stuff like that.”
“They weren’t just kind of adventure stories but they were stories that taught me about social problems,” Obama said of the books he favored in his pre-teen years. “Taught me about how people interact with each other…about how some people are kind and some people are cruel.”
Barack Obama’s problem is probably that he learned a lot about how people interact with each other, but he did not pay close enough attention to learn how he should interact with hobbits and orcs or whatever other creatures he is dealing with these days. [Politico]
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Now a bunch of outraged baggers are going to order their ten year olds (and older) children to read Hardy Boys books because Obama said they were to old for them.
Teabaggers are going to order their kids to read books? You win the funny today.
That explains the Teabagger's Gollum like obsession with getting the White House back.
The blacksies has stolen the preciousssss
Yeah, and poll numbers be damned, the repubs will still have to roll 18 or better on a D20 to get back the White House.
The problem isn't that the kids are too old for the Hardy Boys, it's the other way around. What kid in 2011 wants to read about guys riding around in "roadsters" with their "chums"? As for Obama, I'd be happier if he was reading Paul Krugman instead of fucking hobbits.
I hate that they updated the old racist elitest Nancy Drew for modern times. I believe there is at least one "hook nosed Jew"(sure before my people discovered and became plastic surgeons!), "swarthy complected" characters(no not black people- they were "colored"- maybe these were Italians and Greeks), and she was a bitch to Hannah Gruen.
Oh man, riding around in roadsters. Here's the description of "Hot Rod Rodeo," my favorite Scholastic Book:
Lawrence Blake, 16, is a fervent and outstanding driver of hot rods. He wants to prove to the people of his town that youths with a fanatical interest in souped-up cars are not necessarily juvenile delinquents but can be responsible citizens the same as other people. But before Larry can make his point, the hot rodder is arrested by the ape-size detective Sergeant Dekker, and accused of a hold-up with violence. Larry protests his innocence but no one will listen to him, and then, suddenly, he is released for lack of evidence. But the youth's troubles continue, for he finds the detective trailing him, trying to pin something on him…There is danger for Larry and mounting suspense before the real criminals are apprehended. Mr. Bowen's intimate knowledge of hot rods and the youths who run them, make this story very real and very exciting.
I, for one, welcome our hobbit overlords.
Dear Mr. President,
Please note that Gandalf, Aragorn, et al. did not play nice with the orcs. Even the peace loving Ents, after much deliberation, kicked their asses after seeing what a wasteland the Republicans had made of Isengard.
i think my favorite part is when the orcs are eaten by the ents after helm's deep.
when does that part happen?
It's either at the end of Book Two (The Two Towers) or the beginning of Book Three (The Return of the King).
Yes, I am a fucking nerd. Yes, I am totally obsessed by shit like Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
But do you go to conventions? I understand a lot of nerds fuck at conventions
Used to. Besides, the kids attending just get younger every year. Soon it'll be three-year-olds, and you know how teeny-tiny their gear will be.
he did not pay close enough attention to learn how he should interact with hobbits and orcs or whatever other creatures he is dealing with these days.
I never did get into that whole old-guys-with-pointy-hats gig, thankfully, but I did tear through all those Marvel Comics, and man, Barry ought to have pulled out Thor, Captain America, the Hulk, the Human Torch and Iron Man in those debt ceiling negotiations and issued them a simple order: "Destroy." And he should keep using the crushers to tear asunder those who threaten our nation with shenanigans based on some presumed ideological purity.
Just one order Barry, just one simple order: "Destroy."
Or in the immortal words of Ben Grimm (AKA The Thing): "It's clobberin' time!"
I think Obama does Treebeard in the cosplay. Michelle is a Moriquendë.
“Taught me about how people interact with each other…about how some people are kind and some people are cruel.”
Yes, and now, can you apply that lesson the next time you deal with the cruel Republicans?
(Yes, I know that "cruel Republicans" is a redundant phrase…)
He must've skipped the lesson on how one deals with a Wormtongue: "… Be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls."
Someone send the president some issues of The Incredible Hulk, stat. Obama smash!
Never got into Tolkien, but I was into another British fiction writer writer: Brian Jacques. The Brits really do write the best stories. Big fan of C.S. Lewis (would he kill me if I called him British?), too, even with the religious overtones.
When Lewis was a child, Ireland was still part of Britain, and as an adult, he lived in Oxford, so calling him British would be correct.
He was a Belfast native.
I understand this, but I heard in his early life that he absolutely loathed England and anything that would tie his identity to that of the UK.
Brian died recently. We got to meet him twice-a really nice guy- and funny in person. Most authors my kids have met were nice but usually not able to be funny off the cuff.
J.G.Ballard is the man.
Did he read Lord of the Flies? cause that might help him on learning about the social problem called Teabaggers.
ahem.
barry.
as a tolkien nerd, the order of 'getting into it' is HOBBIT, THEN LOTR.
also: republicans are orcs, obv.
Speaking of nerds, apparently someone named their kid Topanga.
And "interesting coincidence", that show wrapped a little more than 10 years ago.
It is also the name of a canyon here in Los Angeles.
I like my explanation better.
I used to live in Topanga.We named our kids after numbers so no one would make fun of them.
I remember that show, too.
::spent his entire childhood watching television::
See. You turned out just fine. Kids today don't have your opportunities. They just have tiny little iphones and RFD chips in their heads for the games.
As a West Hillside Drive kid, I was always happy when the slides took down the houses further above me. Then the rich bastards paved the fire roads and ruined the mesa by throwing up fences and building fugly McMansions.
I've been gone now for about 36 years. It was already ruined way back then. Now? What the hell are those pink and beige piles? I used to like to hike from the Center all the way to the ocean. The cars and other shit down there were amazing. I lived on the dry side cause we was poor
lol
I lived in a school bus, so I don't think I qualified as non-poor. Although since we were parked in my grandfather's driveway, maybe I was wealthy by proxy…
After the canyon?
The actress hosts some gossip show- I see the commercials(or did- maybe it is off the air now)
Needs moar Scouring of the Shire.
From Wiki:
In his writings, Tolkien depicted Hobbits as fond of an unadventurous bucolic life of farming, eating, and socializing, although capable of defending their homes courageously if the need arises. They would enjoy six meals a day, if they could get them. They were often described as enjoying simple food, though this seems to be of an Oxfordshire style, such as cake, bread, meat, potatoes, and tea. They claim to have invented the art of smoking pipe-weed, and according to The Hobbit and The Return of The King it can be found all over Middle-earth.
The Hobbits of the Shire developed the custom of giving away gifts on their birthdays, instead of receiving them, although this custom was not universally followed among other Hobbit cultures or communities.[11] They use the term mathom for old and useless objects, which are invariably given as presents many times over, or are stored in a museum (mathom-house).
"Taught me about social problems [and] how people interact." Maybe this is the problem. They socialize, eat 6 meals a day, and smoke weed. Wait until Limb-ox hears this.
I believe Merry and Pippin were engaged in smoking weed after the capture of Isengard, and Tolkien had a long discourse on its origins and customs at that point. The rest of that trilogy was about a ring or something, but whatever.
But then they got high.
God knows I've been one of his most dogged defenders, to the point of being called an O-bot or worse, but this hobbit shit tears it. He should be telling those fucking kids to read Ken Kesey and Flannery O'Connor. Would have been just the thing I needed when I was 10.
Wait, wasn't Tolkien British? Why duz Barry HOOSAIN hate 'Murka so?!1!!
But what about The Silmarillion, Barry?
Oh, and once again, we're all a bunch of NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!
Barry sounds like an old man, here. He needs to relate to the kids with mentions of Harry Potter (itself quickly being placed in the vault of history) and The Bieber and, and…well, I'm all tween cultured out. I have no idea what else the kids are into, these days.
According to the the Teevee news, sexting?
Grown-ups seem to be even bigger into it. lol
Barry is a fan of the little known fourth installment of the series, in which Frodo becomes president of middle earth and subsequently let's everyone down, but moves on to a lucrative career on the speaking circuit.
Oh, that was mean.
WANNABE Nerd?
http://www.3quarksdaily.com/.a/6a00d8341c562c53ef...
He needs to reread the chapter where Bilbo dealt with Trolls.
"Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!"
And it was Gandalf that dealt with them, DUH.
He seems to have been wearing that invisibility ring for quite some time now.
Given the world war allegory and its strong lessons about appeasement, etc., one can understand why Barry was so deeply compelled to staunchly fight the forces massed against him.
You're right, the point of LOTR was that appeasement never works, and that sometimes we must personally lose something in order to win. Obviously it went in-one-ear and out the other when Obama-Tom Bombadil read it.
Obamabombadil! Like it!
At least he didn't tell them to read Atlas Shrugged. That would have left them emotionally stunted and socially crippled, unable to deal with the real world.
You know, I am critical of Obama for continuing Bush's policies, such as the tax cuts, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Guantanamo, wiretapping of Americans without a search warrant, but you have to give him some credit. This whole "I read books as a child and liked it" is one way Obama is better than his predecessor.
It is a refreshing change from "I stuck firecrackers up frogs' butts as a child and liked it", isn't it?
Hmmm, I wonder if the president reviews this passage before ordering drone strikes?
Gandalf: "Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends."
When I was eleven, I was reading Mark Twain, Harold Robbins, Leon Uris and the Wall Street Journal. Not that it helped me make the Harvard Law Review or anything. Just saying.
wow, when I was eleven, I was only allowed to take out books from the children's section(12 and under) and my parents certainly didn't have much else to read in the house- except we did get three daily newspapers(yes, it was the 50's and 60's).
Oh you are like me, I was reading all the Brontes, Harold Robbins, Jacqueline Suzanne , the Just William books and WW2 true stories.
Can you also recite from memory Shakespeare sonnets and poems by Robert Service and Robert Burns, plus a few choice Limericks? Seems to drive some Yanks bloody bonkers when I do that.
The sexual life of the camel is stranger than anyone thinksAt the height of the mating season it tries to bugger the Sphinx,But the Sphinx's recturnal organs are blocked by the sands of the NileWhich accounts for the hump on the camelAnd the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.Why, yes I can.
There once was a woman named Alice
Who pee'd in the rectory chalice.
The padre agreed
It was done out of need
And not out of Protestant malice.
You all that and a bag of chips, LL!
"When I was your age .."
what book did he read in Indonesia? the Koraann?
Lord of the Rings = Muhammad Ali, lord of the BOXING ring = the prophet Muhammad, Allah bless and grant him peace, wore a carnelian ring.
I think we have the next Tea Patriot conspiracy for this week's news cycle. Don't forget to give me credit, boys!
“Taught me about how people interact with each other…about how some people are kind and some people are cruel.”
Psst… Barry… lemme help you learn how to actually deal with cruel people… sometimes you just gotta smack 'em.
Wait a second. This is exactly how we want POTUS to discuss Hobbits. The creepy stuff is when politicians liken themselves to various characters.
Jesus, Barry, get a fucking grip, we're dying out here.
There was a young girl from the Azores,
Whose fanny was covered in sores,
Not the dogs of the street,
Would eat the green meat that hung in festoons
From her drawers.
One of my nastier ones.
I had a house/hut but no indoor plumbing. Just a garden hose. Still once we dug an out house after about a year it was plenty nice. In the summer when my car ran. I ran away with the milkman and went to live in an East Village shit hole. All the free hot water I wanted.
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