• May 27, 2012

Sarah Palin Makes Forbes’ Powerful Women List in ‘Lifestyle’ Category

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson  6:48 pm August 24, 2011

snowbilly grifters beat humanitarians BOOYEAHIt’s the dog days of summer, time for another pointless “power rankings” list from celebrity gossip newsletter Forbes with its annual “World’s 100 Most Powerful Women” list complete with all the usual numbskullery that leads a seereus jernalizm outfit to rank Michele Bachmann (#22) ahead of the Prime Minister of Australia (#23) in global power. But where is our favorite bitter singer of fancy redneck victim songs? Oh, Sarah Palin ($47) is still there all right, two spots above non-insane humanitarian Helene Gayle, who runs the half-billion-dollar global women and children’s anti-poverty nonprofit CARE. Yeah, whatever. How did Sarah Palin “win” her spot above Helene Gayle and who else, the President of Liberia (#62)? Oh, she won in the non-politician “celebrity/lifestyle” category, for what, exactly? For making brain death and whining look cool again since Barry Goldwater died? 

From the Forbes profile:

As a political commentator on Fox News, a reality show and deft user of Twitter and Facebook, she has largely bypassed traditional media to blast the press and the president–and made an estimated $7 million in the last year doing it. She uses her political might to champion others too, fund raising $87,500 for Republicans during last fall’s midterm elections.

Whatever that string of words was, we did not understand it. Sarah Palin prays to goats. [Forbes]

{ 175 comments }

nounverb911 August 24, 2011 at 6:50 pm

I always knew her shooting moose from helicopters would make her famous.

102415 August 24, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Wolf puppies.

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 9:32 am

Liberals.

102415 August 25, 2011 at 5:59 pm

In Alaska those would be armed liberals. They would take that copter down. The wolves don't stand a chance in the snow.

102415 August 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm

BTW, it's swell to have someone other than the downfister *following me*.

jdoleman August 24, 2011 at 6:50 pm

"As a deft user of Twitter and Facebook"

The Snark just writes itself sometimes

memzilla August 24, 2011 at 6:53 pm

It was a typo. Replace the "e" in "deft" with "a" and the sentence works.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Yah, I'm glad I swallowed my coffee before I hit that gem.
Must be the living-in-a-bus lifestyle that vaulted her to the top.

Native_of_SL_UT August 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm

T

nounverb911 August 24, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Palin got beat by Lady Gaga! Oh the humanity.

Giveusabob August 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

If only Palin wore that meat dress to the debates, like she wanted to, this story would have been different.

Come here a minute August 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm

I'd rather hear about her wearing the meat dress to the National Zoo's big cats exhibit.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Geez, yer such a tease, as if that would ever happen. Now I'll be dreaming about it for weeks.

Native_of_SL_UT August 24, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Now that I would pay big bucks to see. Lady Gaga beating Palin. I bet the Lady's got some good instruments to do it with.

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 9:17 pm

BLOODSPORT LIBEL!

Crank_Tango August 24, 2011 at 8:20 pm

tranny libel!

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Well, Sarah's not really a tranny, you know.

subsum August 24, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Now that's priceless. It would have been even sweeter if Princess Superstar would have come out higher than her too but one can only dream.

donner_froh August 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm

deft user of Twitter and Facebook

The seem to spell daft with an e at Forbes.

ttommyunger August 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Beat me to the low-hanging fruit.

DrunkIrishman August 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Sarah Palin is to political commentary as the Olive Garden is to Italian food.

Fare la Volpe August 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Never-ending.

Geminisunmars August 24, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Double up for you!

DrunkIrishman August 24, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Cheap and tasteless.

OC_Surf_Serf August 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Hey, wait….no award from Parenting Magazine?

Nothingisamiss August 25, 2011 at 8:29 am

As soon as the Koch brothers buy it…

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I think you mean Murdoch, no?

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 9:35 am

I don't think they give awards for cautionary examples.

Tommmcatt August 24, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Be nice to Barry Goldwater. He was more of a progressive than the current Barry will ever be…

102415 August 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm

An honorary gay is the way he put it.

Chet Kincaid August 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm
mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 7:49 pm

You know, for what it's worth, communist-plotted concentration camps in Alaska are starting to sound like a good idea.

Nothingisamiss August 25, 2011 at 8:30 am

Sometimes I think Wonketteer camp would just be a nice way to end it all. Alaska's too cold, though. If we're going to be doomed to a crazy state, Florida's got beaches. We can swim to Cuba for healthcare, food and the revolution.

Tommmcatt August 24, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Sorry for the long cut-and-paste, but since you asked…

As a passionate defender of personal liberty, he saw the religious right's views as an encroachment on personal privacy and individual liberties.[46] In his 1980 Senate reelection campaign, Goldwater won support from religious conservatives but in his final term voted consistently to uphold legalized abortion and, in 1981, gave a speech on how he was angry about the bullying of American politicians by religious organizations, and would "fight them every step of the way".[47] Goldwater also disagreed with the Reagan administration on certain aspects of foreign policy (for example, he opposed the decision to mine Nicaraguan harbors). Notwithstanding his prior differences with Dwight D. Eisenhower, Goldwater in a 1986 interview rated him the best of the seven Presidents with whom he had worked.

On May 12, 1986, Goldwater was presented with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Ronald Reagan.

After his retirement in 1987, Goldwater described the Arizona Governor Evan Mecham as "hardheaded" and called on him to resign, and two years later stated that the Republican party had been taken over by a "bunch of kooks".[48]

In a 1994 interview with the Washington Post the retired senator said,

When you say "radical right" today, I think of these moneymaking ventures by fellows like Pat Robertson and others who are trying to take the Republican party and make a religious organization out of it. If that ever happens, kiss politics goodbye.[49]

Goldwater visited the small town of Bowen, Illinois in 1989 to see first hand where his mother was raised.

In response to Moral Majority founder Jerry Falwell's opposition to the nomination of Sandra Day O'Connor to the Supreme Court, of which Falwell had said, "Every good Christian should be concerned", Goldwater retorted: "Every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass."[50] (According to John Dean, Goldwater actually suggested that good Christians ought to kick Falwell in the "nuts", but the news media "changed the anatomical reference." [51]) Goldwater also had harsh words for his one-time political protege, President Reagan, particularly after the Iran-Contra Affair became public in 1986. Journalist Robert MacNeil, a friend of Goldwater's from the 1964 Presidential campaign, recalled interviewing him in his office shortly afterward. "He was sitting in his office with his hands on his cane … and he said to me, 'Well, aren't you going to ask me about the Iran arms sales?' It had just been announced that the Reagan administration had sold arms to Iran. And I said, 'Well, if I asked you, what would you say?' He said, 'I'd say it's the god-damned stupidest foreign policy blunder this country's ever made!'",[52] though aside from the Iran-Contra scandal, Goldwater thought nonetheless that Reagan was a good president.[53] In 1988 during that year's presidential campaign, he pointedly told vice-presidential nominee Dan Quayle at a campaign event in Arizona "I want you to go back and tell George Bush to start talking about the issues."[54]

Some of Goldwater's statements in the 1990s aggravated many social conservatives. He endorsed Democrat Karan English in an Arizona congressional race, urged Republicans to lay off Bill Clinton over the Whitewater scandal, and criticized the military's ban on homosexuals:[49] "Everyone knows that gays have served honorably in the military since at least the time of Julius Caesar."[55] He also said, "You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight."[56] A few years before his death he went so far as to address the unprincipled establishment "republicans", "Do not associate my name with anything you do. You are extremists, and you've hurt the Republican party much more than the Democrats have."[57]

In 1996, he told Bob Dole, whose own presidential campaign received lukewarm support from conservative Republicans: "We're the new liberals of the Republican party. Can you imagine that?"[58] In that same year, with Senator Dennis DeConcini, Goldwater endorsed an Arizona initiative to legalize medical marijuana against the countervailing opinion of social conservatives.[59]

Chet Kincaid August 24, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Wrong answer:

Policies

Goldwater soon became most associated with labor-union reform and anti-communism; he was an active supporter of the conservative coalition in Congress. However, he rejected the wilder fringes of the anti-communist movement; in 1956 he sponsored the passage through the Senate of the final version of the Alaska Mental Health Enabling Act, despite vociferous opposition from opponents who claimed that the Act was a communist plot to establish concentration camps in Alaska. His work on labor issues led to Congress passing major anti-corruption reforms in 1957, and an all-out campaign by the AFL-CIO to defeat his 1958 reelection bid. He voted against the censure of Senator Joseph McCarthy in 1954, but he was much more prudent than McCarthy and never actually charged any individual with being a communist/Soviet agent. Goldwater emphasized his strong opposition to the worldwide spread of communism in his 1960 book The Conscience of a Conservative. The book became an important reference text in conservative political circles.

In 1964, Goldwater ran a conservative campaign that emphasized "states' rights."[15] Goldwater's 1964 campaign was a magnet for conservatives since he opposed interference by the federal government in state affairs. Although he had supported all previous federal civil rights legislation and had supported the original senate version of the bill, Goldwater made the decision to oppose the Civil Rights Act of 1964. His stance was based on his view that the act was an intrusion of the federal government into the affairs of states and, second, that the Act interfered with the rights of private persons to do business, or not, with whomever they chose.[16]

All this appealed to white Southern Democrats, and Goldwater was the first Republican to win the electoral votes of the Deep South states (Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina) since Reconstruction. However, Goldwater's vote on the Civil Rights Act proved devastating to his campaign everywhere outside the South (besides Dixie, Goldwater won only in Arizona, his home state), contributing to his landslide defeat in 1964. A Lyndon B. Johnson ad, called "Confessions of a Republican," which ran in the North, associated Goldwater with the Ku Klux Klan. At the same time, Johnson’s campaign in the Deep South emphasized Goldwater’s full history on and previous support for civil rights. In the end, Johnson swept the election.

While Goldwater had been depicted by his opponents in the Republican primaries as a representative of a conservative philosophy that was extreme and alien, his Congressional voting records show that his positions were in harmony with those of his fellow Republicans in the Congress. What distinguished him from his predecessors was, according to Hans J. Morgenthau, his firmness of principle and determination, which did not allow him to be content with mere rhetoric.[17]

Goldwater fought in 1971 to stop U.S. funding of the United Nations after the People's Republic of China was admitted to the organization. He said:

"I suggested on the floor of the Senate today that we stop all funds for the United Nations. Now, what that'll do to the United Nations, I don't know. I have a hunch it would cause them to fold up, which would make me very happy at this particular point. I think if this happens, they can well move their headquarters to Peking or Moscow and get 'em out of this country."[18]

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Ah, yes, he was OK with Teh Ghey, which means OK period, of course. What about those of us Gheyz that might be of a browner persuasion? He wasn't terribly supportive of our colouredness, was he?

horsedreamer_1 August 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

You're Tyler Perry!?

Nothingisamiss August 25, 2011 at 8:34 am

upfists all around.

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Also, when he was running for prez in '64, he was turned away from playing at a golf course that didn't allow Jews. "I'm only half Jewish," said. "Could I just play nine holes?"

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm

I wonder how Goldwater actually gets described as "more progressive" despite his obvious racism. Perhaps he's just "more progressive" for the deserving few, and us culluds should just STFU and stick to the back of the bus. Or perhaps I'm just getting really tired of every fucking Republican asshole in this country referring to my President and theirs as "boy."

Tommmcatt August 25, 2011 at 12:13 am

Hey, didn't mean to defend racism…but let's face it, race was a lever a lot of politicians pulled on back then. Unforgivable, destructive to generations, and an indelible mark on this man's career, yes, but unfortunately common, particularly as a strategy on the Right in the sixties and seventies.

I think my point was that the midpoint has now skewed so far to the Right that the current Barry, vanguard of liberalism in the United States, holds several positions just to the right of the father of movement conservatism from the same country.

MichelesPantalones August 25, 2011 at 12:27 am

I know. That is, I know that what you're saying about race as a lever is factually accurate. It doesn't make it any easier to put up with, but.

I dispute the idea that the current Barry holds several positions to the right of Goldwater, though. I think that the screaming yahoos have taken power everywhere, and Barry's task is to govern this country competently while attempting to ease them out. Unfortunately, they're loud enough to drown out any noise from those of us at our last gasp.

iburl August 24, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I wonder if she's the only one on the list who is jobless. No, riding a bus around, giving pointless speeches to gathered groups of bikers and future mass shooters and yammering nonsense on Fox News is not a real job.

emmelemm August 24, 2011 at 7:22 pm

And yet she appears quite well-compensated…

Chet Kincaid August 24, 2011 at 7:46 pm

This is good news for Mittens Romney.

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 10:58 pm

And yet, somehow, she makes more than I do.

Callyson August 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Those who are ahead of Saint Sarah include:
Lady Gaga (#11)
Beyonce (#18)
Arianna Huffington (#31)
Caribou Barbie meltdown in 3…2…1…

LettucePrey August 24, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Justin Bieber belongs in there somewhere, also, too.

nounverb911 August 24, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Don't forget Lindsey Graham.

Tommmcatt August 24, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Lesbian Power!!!!!

krazyvladimir August 24, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Cue up Glenn Beck tears

memzilla August 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Isn't it about time for Mooselini to quit being a Fox talking head?

nounverb911 August 24, 2011 at 6:56 pm

When did she start?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 7:18 pm

She'll quit when there's more money to be made elsewhere.

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 9:41 am

And/or if it involves doing actual work.

Beowoof August 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm

They're still behind Michelle Obama but they're putting the pressure on, I am sure Ms. Obama is concerned.

OC_Surf_Serf August 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Should read: Sarah Palin…..47…..The United States of 1789…..For-Profit

Barb August 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Sarah Palin says she wants limited government. I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

So, president of Somalia is a good match?

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 10:59 pm

"Sarah Palin says she wants limited government."

Translation: She wants to get elected something-or-other, and then quit when she gets bored.

TanzbodenKoenig August 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Who said grifting got you nowhere in life?

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Watch it.

Nothingisamiss August 25, 2011 at 8:38 am

No one in Amercia.

rocktonsam August 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

oh, I thought this was my matches from ChristianMingle.com

damn drugs

Beowoof August 24, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Michele Bachman is pissed, Marcus isn't on the list.

LettucePrey August 24, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Oh, Sarah Palin ($47) is still there all right

I see what you did there, sneaky keyboard symbol usurper!!

elfgoldsackring August 24, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Wait, I'm sure I've got a 'get one free with cheeseburger' coupon here somewhere.

genxr August 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Yes, she bypassed traditional media to get a job on a cable news show, where she is the author of such words as "refudiate" and "squirmish."

*golf clap*

NorthStarSpanx August 25, 2011 at 12:15 pm

“I’m mystified,” [Karl Rove] admitted, “that she’s all upset about this, that I’m somehow trying to sabotage her campaign, sabotage her in some way, and how dare I speculate on her future.” Rove also responded angrily that “if she doesn’t want to be speculated about as a potential presidential candidate, there’s an easy way to end the speculation,” yet whenever the issue comes up, “she says ‘I haven’t made a decision.” Rove concluded adding a jab at Palin’s lust for attention, calling it a “sign of enormous thin skin that if we speculate about her, she gets upset, and I suspect that if we didn’t speculate about her, she’d be upset about it and trying to find a way to get us to speculate about her.”

GunToting[Redacted] August 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm

You've valued Snobilly at $47, which is far too high.

Guppy06 August 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Do her corporate donors get the "girlfriend experience" with that price?

GeorgiaBurning August 24, 2011 at 8:25 pm

It does include shipping, and I'm sure paypal is accepted

RedneckMuslin August 24, 2011 at 7:02 pm

There's something satisfying about the many jews, blacks, and furriners ranked above her.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 24, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Sarah Palin prays to goats.

The Goat God is unamused by $arah, but Mickey Kaus is jealous.
~

RedneckMuslin August 24, 2011 at 7:05 pm

What is not like the others? Except for Shelly and Sarah, the rest of the women are accomplished.

weejee August 24, 2011 at 7:07 pm

OT / snark

Speaking of lost jerbs, Jobs just quit as CEO of Apple and it sounds like his health is behind the move.

ApplesauceRobot August 24, 2011 at 7:30 pm

You're supposed to wait until you're laid off. If you quit on your own you don't get unemployment benefits.

LettucePrey August 24, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Over on Fox they are demonizing Jobs for supporting Nancy Pelosi. Most comments are being sent via iPhone.

fuflans August 24, 2011 at 8:08 pm

why, pray, do you wander over to fox?

expiation for some unmentionable sin?

LettucePrey August 24, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Who doesn't? It's awesome!

Nothingisamiss August 25, 2011 at 8:41 am

This is how I know you don't live in a deep red state. When you get bombarded each day with shitheads repeating the same talking points ad nauseam, right wing media loses its fascination.

Still, finding humor in the dark! Win!

weejee August 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Christ on an iPad, those self important clowns have zero sense of proportion. A couple of hundred years from now no one save a couple of obscure journalism/history profs will have a fucking clue who Rupert Murdoch was. However, kids in grade school will learn about a couple of kids – Gates and Jobs, who launched the computer revolution like Watt and his steam engine did the industrial revolution or Edison did in so many things electric.

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Come on, that's not completely fair; Murdoch could easily follow his predecessors -other historical media magnates- into the history books, classic film, and our hearts.

People remember William Randalph Hearst fondly, right? Not as some war-mongering miscreant whose publications' sensationalism, blatant political political agenda, and frequent full-on fabrication of reportage out of whole cloth dealt the institution of journalism a grevious blow?

Geminisunmars August 24, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Didn't he have something to do with something called "Rosebud?"

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 11:48 pm

He may have been a miscreant, but he was *our* miscreant. Rupie's just a furrnrrr with that Chinese robot wife-cum-bodyguard defense unit. To the gallows with him!

Guppy06 August 24, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Can't find another liver on the grey market?

Texan_Bulldog August 24, 2011 at 7:13 pm

No category for grifting or 'being a completely talentless hack & still able to rake in millions and media attention'? I'm sure the Kardashian sisters would have let her be on the list with them.

MissusBarry August 24, 2011 at 7:16 pm

I'm pretty sure my small town kindergarten teacher is a more powerful woman than the Snowbilly Grifter. Decades of teaching and folks left her classroom with greater literacy and humanity than the SG's pathetic groupies can collectively muster.

OneYieldRegular August 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm

"As a political commentator on Fox News, a reality show and deft user of Twitter and Facebook, she has…"

What is this magazine? Forbes? Remind me not to give this to aspiring writers of English.

ApplesauceRobot August 24, 2011 at 7:35 pm

"Where's your grammar?"

"Oh, she and grandpa died years ago."

102415 August 24, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Fortune? I don't read that magazine.

ManchuCandidate August 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Rotundo_ August 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Forbes sure has been swirling around the abyss noisily of late. When Malcolm ran it, it was worth a glance now and then, but now it's like People only for greedy stupid fucks. That $arah merited a mention is pretty sad, and putting Bachmann in is also pretty lame as well. What have either of them done but spout stupid and crazy?

Fare la Volpe August 24, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Written fat checks to Forbes.

rocktonsam August 24, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Steve probably thinks he can hit that if he mentions her

Geminisunmars August 24, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Eewww. Both ways.

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Notice they mentioned how much money she raised ($87,500 -is that a typo?) – not the fact that so many of the candidates she endorsed lost bigtime.

genxr August 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm

She *raised* $7 million. She *gave* $87,500.

Rotundo_ August 24, 2011 at 7:32 pm

I wonder how much of that was "in kind" donations of personal appearances. She might have severely discounted her usual 100 large per speech for them I suppose.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Palin is the Snooki of U.S. politics.

Sharkey August 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Snooki + 23 years = Palin

arihaya August 25, 2011 at 2:28 am

that's a bit unfair to Snooki

SpurningBeer August 24, 2011 at 9:18 pm

The GOP is the Jersey Shore of US politics.

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 11:02 pm

No one in the entire Jersey Shore is white enough to be in the GOP.

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Wow, they really put the President of Liberia at #62? Fuck. She came into power on the wave of an extremely effective feminist campaign in a country that… is not really known for feminism. You'd think she'd get some fucking respect.

Oh, and she got her war criminal predecessor actually brought to the Hague and charged. Doesn't that make her more powerful than Barack Obama, really?

rahelio August 24, 2011 at 8:00 pm

The Forbes editorial board prefers the kind of feminism that Sarah Palin adheres to, which involves making rape victims pay for their own rape kits and being pro-life.

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Whatever that string of words was, we did not understand it

tl;dr version: Grifting.

fuflans August 24, 2011 at 7:29 pm

bachmann is #22 and pain is $47?

which way does the crazy go?

Steverino247 August 24, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Nopantsmcgee August 24, 2011 at 7:36 pm

She's does put the 'tool' in Capitalist Tool.

Goonemeritus August 24, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Forbes “Capitalist Tool”
Steve Forbes is a capitalist tool. Fixed

weejee August 24, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Steve Forbes is a capitalist tool. Fixed

Steve Forbes is a capitalist fool. Fixed².

hollywooddood August 24, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Other than the mold, there isn't much difference between $arah and Bachmann.

fuflans August 24, 2011 at 8:10 pm

crazy eyes, crazy words.

boobs.

Geminisunmars August 24, 2011 at 10:00 pm

One can speak in complete sentences, the other is a visionary who sees distant shores from her porch. Hence both are very powerful.

owhatever August 24, 2011 at 7:40 pm

We keep flushing her further down the toilet, but she keeps popping back up to defiantly float there in full view, dumb as shit.

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Poetry.
Sheer poetry.

FannyBurney August 24, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Sigh. Well, of COURSE she wins in the lifestyle category, you sillies. What other potential presidential candidate has achieved so much in the lifestyle categories of most children spawning like salmon out-of-wedlock, most in-laws who are convicted drug offenders/b and e artists, most lawsuits filed against her for ethics violations, most jobs quit halfway through, most hideous pedicures, most colleges attended, most moronic prospective sons-in-law…

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 9:51 pm

She's a Texan at heart.

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

???
Something is wrong with her pedicures?

BlueStateLibel August 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm

What exactly is Sarah Palin's "lifestyle"? Bilking the rubes out of their money? Speaking in a shrill voice? Serving as a living, breather reminder to John McCain that whatever shred of integrity he once had was completely destroyed the day he chose her as VP?

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 11:04 pm

*cues entire Wonketteosphere speaking in unison*

ALL OF THEM, KATIE.

nappyduggs August 24, 2011 at 7:50 pm

"…and made an estimated $7 million in the last year doing it."
What's that? How many of those Ameros did she donate to causes–that weren't self-serving–or pay in taxes?
Sing it with me now:

"NONE OF 'EM, KATIE!"

Goonemeritus August 24, 2011 at 7:52 pm

I just checked Sarah has dropped from the number one spot in the power woman category to number 34. On the positive side she bilked 7 million dollars out of her adoring fan base during the same period. If it only took her a year to drop this far can we dare hope that we will never her from her again in just a few short years?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Every dollar she bilks out of the teabaggers is a dollar less for the GOP. I call it an overall win: she's annoying as hell, but one more wealthy idiot won't make a difference in this country.

GregComlish August 24, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Sarah Palin has a profound effect on the modern woman. She's redefining the mature woman as a bold pioneer who confronts stereotypes, speaks her mind, electrifies the public, fleeces her supporters, quits her job, trashes her hotel room, and then goes on national TV to play D for her equally whorish children. Because at the end of the day her most important job is Mom.

See ladies: you can have it all.

x111e7thst August 24, 2011 at 7:56 pm

When she was anointed (2005?) against witchcraft her spot above Christine O'Donnell was assured.

JackObin August 24, 2011 at 7:56 pm

An illiterate eskimo is considered a political commentator. What's next, George Bush, particle physicist?

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 10:19 am

Is that more or less appalling than George Bush, ruler of America?

NorthStarSpanx August 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm

She's not Eskimo. She's an import to Alaska from Sandpoint, Idaho.

BTWBFDIMHO August 24, 2011 at 7:58 pm

But, but, where's Sofía Margarita Vergara Vergara? Eh?

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Four browser tabs, now. Shwing!

SexySmurf August 24, 2011 at 8:05 pm

As a political commentator on Fox News, a reality show and deft user of Twitter and Facebook,

The above sample of poor writing seems to imply that Sarah Palin is a "reality show," which of course she is not. Freak show on the other hand…

Guppy06 August 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm

"Lifestyle?"

Being stupid is not a lifestyle choice!

Tommmcatt August 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Tell that to Michelle Bachmann…

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 9:05 pm

Yes it is. It's just like an alcoholic and alcohol, only with being a fameball and grifting. Being a fameball is no excuse for choosing to be a stupid grifter. You still choose to have gay sex. Wait, what were we talking about?

Guppy06 August 24, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Alcohol and gay sex.

Do continue.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Being stupid is not a lifestyle choice — but in Duhhmerika, it is a career move. Between Faux News and the cable TV dreckfests, there's a lucrative market for dumb.

Which raises a question for Wonketeers: are we too smart to be that dumb, or not smart enough to play dumb as convincingly as Palin, Bachmann, and the Faux blowhards?

tessiee August 25, 2011 at 10:22 am

"are we too smart to be that dumb, or not smart enough to play dumb"

Reminds me of a conversation I had a few years back:
Me: So and So got where he is by making the right noises to the right people.
Friend: Then why aren't *you* learning to make them?

It's a question I've never been able to satisfactorily answer.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Well, FLOTS dropped to 8th place but that didn't stop The Daily Mail form stealing the National Enquirer's "scoop".
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029615/M...

ShaveTheWhales August 24, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Oh joy. These twerps can't even maintain internal consistency — $10M on vacations, of which they "itemize" about $3M, of which half is the notional expense of AF1/2.

And, on that note, the "source" cites something like $249K for AF2 for the Spain trip, but $1M for Bamz traveling to Hawaii in AF1. The planes are, I believe, identical; whichever one the Prez is on is One.

Jackholes.

nappyduggs August 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm

All of those millions for hooch and rubbings and not a dime was allocated for shoelaces.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I just reread my post and I sound high. I meant FLOTUS and “from” not “form”.

natoslug August 24, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Thank dogs Bush II never took vacations. Now THERE's a man with a work ethic…

Fare la Volpe August 24, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Re: the comments. I had no idea there were English teabaggers. What do they wear hanging from their tricorner derbies?

ShaveTheWhales August 24, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Lorrybollox, natch.

genxr August 25, 2011 at 12:29 am

Note to editors: If you're going to accuse her of having "expensive tastes" don't use a picture of her on a bicycle in a t-shirt and shorts!

johnnyzhivago August 24, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Well all I can say to my ex boss Carly Fiorina, who's dropped off the list is: FUCK YOU!

GeorgiaBurning August 24, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Everything is relative. On the scale of HP'er sentiments about Fiorina, this scores as a "pro-Carly" since it has no mention of death, torture or returning to hell for family reunions.

Radiotherapy® August 24, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Laugh now, wait for a little over a year, and then it'll be President #34 Most Influential to you.

FakaktaSouth August 24, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Uh oh. This is exactly how Golda Meir got her start.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 24, 2011 at 8:33 pm

I think Forbes is trying to compete with MAD Magazine

Poindexter718 August 24, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Humanitarian Helene Gayle runs a half-billion-dollar anti-poverty nonprofit, but Bespectacled Colostomy Bag Sarah Palin runs a billion dollar anti-Sarah Palin poverty for-profit.

DemonicRage August 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm

She is so prestigious and influential. She really got the ball rolling, with her snarky comment, back at the Republican Convention about how, being a Mayor, she had some actual responsibilities. She really got the party started with that one. It was like a giant whistle being blown ,one that said, "Remember how we used to show some modicum of respect? Those days are OVER!"

BaldarTFlagass August 24, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Has "That Cunt" already been taken? I did not see it during my readthrough.

GeorgiaBurning August 24, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Wendi Murdoch not ANYWHERE on the list? Excuse me? Hmm, Fox must have some good dirt on somebody over at Forbes.

zhubajie August 25, 2011 at 5:57 am

They might be afraid of her martial arts abilities.

HelmutNewton August 24, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Forbes translation: "Oh we know she hasn't done anything substantive. But she sure can grift loads of ca$h from the poors!"

Angry_Marmot August 24, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Considering the history of the Forbes fortune, I'd say one pack of grifters knows another.

GunToting[Redacted] August 24, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Hooray! I seem to have another needy troll hanging on my every utterance. Hello, Farting Earthquake, or whatever you call yourself today. Sorry we can't offer you a complimentary downfist.

mavenmaven August 24, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Certainly tone deft.

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Everybody else's number was preceded by a pound symbol. #
Sarah's number was preceded by a dollar sign. $
I choose to believe that this was intentional.

tessiee August 24, 2011 at 11:07 pm

"Oh, she won in the non-politician “celebrity/lifestyle” category, for what, exactly? "

"Being a fap-target for trailer trash", would be my guess.

kissawookiee August 24, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Huh. I am a political commenter on Wonkette AND a pretty darn deft user of the Facebook and the Twatter, and I only made something like $0.57 off that last year, mostly in change I found under the couch cushions whilst doing all that commenting and defting and stuff.

Warpde August 25, 2011 at 12:32 am

"Oh, Sarah Palin ($47) "

Now that's Palin sounds like a good deal.
Does she carry change for a $50?
How much to swallow?
What if Toddler wants to watch?
Is it more for her not to talk?
Can I get a refund if she quits half way through?

zhubajie August 25, 2011 at 5:55 am

Too bad it's not the Asian Forbes. Usually when someone makes the "500 richest" list, they go to jail soon afterwards.

lulzmonger August 25, 2011 at 10:43 am

I still treasure my "The Global Warming Hoax" Forbes cover.

JOURNALI$M!

ttommyunger August 25, 2011 at 1:55 pm

These assholes just keep paying homage to this know-nothing cunt. Enough, already!

V572 T-Blow August 25, 2011 at 10:47 am

Got to reading about Reconstruction yesterday, as I only remembered the high-school-history version in which the scalawags, Radical Republicans and carpetbaggers ruined everything with their corruption. What's fascinating about it (and was probably infuriating to African Americans) was that the idea of full equality for freed slaves was considered insanely extreme by everyone except Thaddeus Stevens and the Radical Republicans. And it was never really achieved until the 1960s.

The fact that things eventually got better is no consolation to those who died before it did.

MichelesPantalones August 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I really need to read more American history – just as soon as I get done reading the history of Southeast Asia, especially the VN war. So many books, so many causes, so much outrage — so little time.

V572 T-Blow August 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm

If you can overlook the uneven writing and editing, Wikipedia has a lot of good get-ya-started info.

mog253 August 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Is it just possible that the center has shifted so far that he looks more progressive?? I was there, he scared the crap out of me.

V572 T-Blow August 25, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Miche1e & Rick or Barry G – who’s scarier?

mog253 August 25, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Rick because he could win. Barry lost. Michele won't be a contender.

MichelesPantalones August 26, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Sh! Honestly, must you tell *every*thing?

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