Jon Huntsman Surprised By GOP Candidates All Being Insane Idiots

  crazy people

Barack Obama’s Republican ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, would like to continue the Bush-Obama presidencies by becoming president in 2012. But that requires running as the GOP’s Republican, since the Democrats already have one who is also the incumbent, so Huntsman has been quite surprised to find out that his fellow 2012 candidates are a bunch of dangerous mental patients:

The Salt Lake Tribune reports on Hunstman describing his shock while speaking to his five Republican supporters:

“This is an interesting experience, for those of you who haven’t run for president,” he said. “You stand up on the stage in the debate like we did the other night and look around and say, “Whoa, where’d these folks come from? What an interesting assortment of characters!”

Just hang in there, Jon! Running against Obama after he appointed you ambassador is a time-tested way to get Obama to give you an even sweeter job! Welcome to the vice president’s residence, Jon! [Salt Lake Tribune]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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71 comments

    1. karen

      "I'll have the Penne alla Arrabiata."
      "You'll need a tray."
      "Do you know who I am?"
      "Do you know who I am?"
      "This is not a game of who the fuck are you."

  1. Come here a minute

    Huntsman found the Chinese version of one-party-rule so inspiring that he wants to keep it going here at home.

  2. hagajim

    You can tell Johnny has been in China too long…he didn't realize his party is now part of the lunatic fringe.

    1. MARCdMan

      The one that believes in global warming, evolution and reasonable compromise government. Don't worry, he won't get 5% of the vote.

    2. DaRooster

      Hey… at least you didn't yawn or throw up in your mouth… so he's got that going for him.

  3. One_who_wanders

    Dear John;

    It is pretty much crazy all the way down. Ask McCain, even he thinks so.

    The other sane person in the GOP

  4. edgydrifter

    "What an interesting assortment of characters" is Huntsman's native Diplomatese. The English translation is "Holy fuck–what a freak show."

  5. ManchuCandidate

    Jon Huntsman even speaks Mandarin aka Chinee (in Teabagese.)

    He would be one who could give Barry a hard time in the general election, but thanks to Teabaggers preference for dipshits that's not gonna happen.

  6. Not_So_Much

    Let's have it boil down to he and Ron Paul. That would make the Teabagger's heads blow up real good…

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Michele has now slipped to the very bottom of the list, barely registering 10%, so it looks like Paul, Romney, and Perry will be duking this out.

      1. GOPCrusher

        Oh cmon now. Don't count Michele out so soon. Of course, when Bible Spice throws her hat into the ring over Labor Day weekend, it will be all over for all the other GOP candidates.

  7. freakishlywrong

    Uhh..didn't Jon raise his hand when asked about the ruinous ten to one cuts to revenue ratio? And raising your hand implied that NO, not even this was good enough? I thought so.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Jon Huntsman is a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm afraid. Looks nice, acceptable, seems rational — but loves the Ryan Plan (embraced it before most of the GOP), thinks an end to Medicare/Medicaid is the only thing that will save the US (not reform — END), believes polluters should regulate themselves, and doesn't want tax increases for billionaires like himself. Google "Huntsman, Odessa, TX" to find out more about this candidate.

      1. SorosBot

        He seemed reasonable at the last debate, until he suddenly started spouting off about "the tyranny of the EPA." Then he sounded like a Republican again.

  8. elviouslyqueer

    “Whoa, where’d these folks come from? What an interesting assortment of characters!”

    *runs quote through Google Translate from Diplomatese to English*

    "Jesus fucking CHRIST on a unicycle, the fuck? What rock did this bunch of batshit, magic-pantied, pepperoni-reeking, boybutt-infatuated motherfuckers crawl out from under? Man, talk about a goddamn freak show of epic fucking FAIL!"

    1. zhubajie

      Remember, H. also wears magic panties! Probably his time in BJ was his required tour of missionary duty!

  9. baconzgood

    “Whoa, where’d these folks come from? What an interesting assortment of characters!”

    -Baconzgood after volunteering at the soup kitchen-

    1. nappyduggs

      Today we are all the toothless,shit-smelling, mentally unstable poors you see at the soup kitchen.

  10. DaRooster

    "…Huntsman has been quite surprised to find out that his fellow 2012 candidates are a bunch of dangerous mental patients"

    That's part of the problem. With the clamping down on funds… not enough new patients are being accepted.

  11. johnnyzhivago

    "What an interesting assortment of characters"…. Isn't USAnetwork always advertising "characters wanted" – maybe they could all find jobs there and forget about running for president.

  12. Goonemeritus

    Maybe if the Democratic Party goes far enough right the only way the Republicans will have to be reactionary will be to go hard left.

  13. DashboardBuddha

    The definition of diplomacy is telling someone to go to hell is such a way that he looks forward to the trip. The corollary of this is telling someone that he is bugfuck crazy in such a way that he thinks you find him interesting.

  14. DashboardBuddha

    If he thinks he's surprised now, just wait until the Great Unwashed votes one of these rodeo clowns in . (Hint: John? It won't be you.)

  15. Tommmcatt

    It is a sad day when a reactionary like John Huntsman, however soft-spoken, looks around him and finds himself squarely in the middle of the spectrum.

  16. GhostBuggy

    I'm torn. I want to believe Jon Huntsman is semi-normal and intelligent. However, the very idea that he'd attempt to win the nomination of the Party of Death and Insanity at Any Cost casts doubt on that.

  17. Mahousu

    On a related note, James Warren is trying out for a Wonkette editor position: It wasn't until I saw a horribly overweight man gorging himself over the breakfast buffet at a Grand Rapids, Michigan hotel on Sunday that I understood the fallacy behind all the hand-wringing over the Republican presidential field.

    As he waddled to his table with two apparent Guinness Book of World Records-sized plates of food, including a stack of sausage and bacon nearly blocking the light from a nearby bank of windows, I realized that voters are being fed what they want to eat.

  18. FakaktaSouth

    When the guy who believes in magic panties and salamanders with golden plates of wisdom from Missouri Jesus is calling you weird, you are probably pretty fucking weird.

  19. Callyson

    Making what appears to be a reference to his sluggish campaign, Huntsman writes off August as a "dead month" and says that next month he expects things to pick up. "The drama of today is temporary, it's ephemeral and it passes," he said.
    Yes, I do wish the freak show that is the Republican presidential nominee field would pass by…

  20. Dr_Zoidberg

    Don't go breaking my heart, Jon Huntsman, by being a GOP candidate that acts all normal. I was burned by McCain…I won't be burned again.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    Facts really are dangerous things — Huntsman espoused them, and look what's happened to his campaign.

  22. Tr0tt0

    I wouldn't be surprised to find that after the primary Jon Huntsman removes his rubber mask to reveal that he was Ross Perot attempting to syphon off all the lunatic-fringe-centrist Republican votes. Spoiler: there ain't any.

  23. randcoolcatdaddy

    "What an interesting assortment of characters!"

    I said the same thing. But it also included some four letter words.

  24. fuflans

    that's ok. when rickie's president, he'll charge this pansy ass with treason and send him to gitmo.

  25. CalamityJames

    Not gonna lie. I like this guy. Seriously, should he win the nomination (hahahaha), I would have to actually put in some real thought before next November.

    Now, feel free to throw all his faults at me so I can laugh and point at our current "liberal" pres.

  26. Negropolis

    And, yet, despite his newfound bitchiness, his actual, stated policy positions that he's chosen as a presidential candidate aren't all that appreciably different than many of his opponents.

    Huntsman is a hypocrite, a bold hypocrite, at that. The more I hear from him, the less I like of him, because he's been taking the Romney route to the nomination (which will fail), and that's essentially to try and have everything both ways.

  27. znmeb

    Huntsman's "strategy" of pretending to be the sane one in a field of lunatics is likely to place him dead last in fundraising. The "centrists" will vote for Obama and Perry and Bachmann will duke it out for the nominations. I'm guessing Bachmann will take the Iowa caucuses, Romney will take New Hampshire if he hasn't run out of money, and Perry will take the nomination.

    I like Huntsman but he's going to lose. He'll probably have to drop out before the end of the year. It's about fundraising, and Perry has a clear advantage.

  28. DahBoner

    "Jon Huntsman Surprised By GOP Candidates All Being Insane Idiots"

    God, I hate it when the drugs wear off before the orgy is over….

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