If you can get past the fact that GOP Texas congressional candidate Roger Williams is trying to talk patriotism into a horde of dim, braying livestock animals as though they were godless socialist human welfare recipients, this campaign ad is rather fun. Who doesn’t love stupid donkey videos?? The staggering quantity of boring, hack political ads that envelope Earth during election season is an icy Europa subsurface ocean-sized brain freeze strong enough to put everyone into a thousand-year coma, is all we are saying. But where is this “United States of France” he is talking about located?
Haha, nowhere. But we have heard of “France,” some country with an “elitist social safety net” and fields of high-quality booze-growing plants that we will be visiting if Rick Perry wins the presidential election. Oh well, we appreciate absurdism as much as the next guy!
Seriously, just saying, this is at least humorous. Remember the time Mitt Romney made a video about driving around bombed-out Detroit to remind America that it is living through civilizational Apocalypse? Stupid donkeys or Apocalypse? YOU DECIDE THE WAY YOU ABORT YOUR BRAIN. That is Democracy, in 2011. [YouTube]
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Why does he talk down to his supporters?*
*Yeah, I get the "symbolism" but it seems more like psychological projection here considering the general jackassery of much of the GOP. Of course, a counter commercial is this:
http://justsickshit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/0…
To summarize how Demrats and sane people feel cleaning up GOPer shit.
Meh. Get back to me when a donkey kicks this stupid fuck to death.
Or when he fucks the donkey…
That one donkey with the teeth could claw him to death. I'd settle for that.
Did this guy move here from Alabama?
No, he's not brandishing a gun. Subtle differences.
Where's Kortney? This is a Republican ad, right?
From what I heard, they also have "Donkey Whisperer" shows in Tijuana.
The do, actually! They give out plastic raincoats to everyone in the first three rows. Sorta like a Gallagher show. Actually, quite a bit like a Gallagher show now that I think about it.
"Francis the Talking Mule" is running for Congress?
Makes sense to me…does it to ewes?
Sorry. And yes, I know ewes are sheep, but I did it anyway. Sorry.
ass libel!
Damn you, stealing my line a full 14 minutes before me. This is just like the time you killed my father. EXACTLY like that.
Funny vid…but this one shows better what the GOP wants to do to us:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/819583/donkey_tries…
Oh, yes. That's a LOT more like it. Think I'll send this to him.
This is not bad. I await the one where a pack of elephants stampedes over a phalanx of poor people and then use their surprisingly sensitive and agile trunks to suck off Rush Limbaugh.
God I hope someone from the DNC reads Wonkett. I'm still laughing.
I am snorting like a fucking pig, I have tears running down my face, you, sir or madam, have made my day.
I thought Twitter was a better way to reach lots of jackasses?
SarahPac.com
Braying ass talking to braying asses. Works for me.
I will go talk to a pile of rocks.
Mick, Keef, Charlie, & Ronnie?
He's no real republican. There's hardly any racism. Its a cute ad.
But none of the donkeys was wearing pearls. Where was Pelosi??
Might not be the first Philistine to be slain by the jawbone of an ass.
And yes, I'm referring to Roger Williams' jawbone.
Hey, everybody has a bad day once in a while. Give him another chance and he'll use that donkey in a way that will reaffirm your faith in his (and his cohort's) venality.
The video depicts legislative hopeful Roger Williams twisting the face of current Texas congressman Louie Gohmert. Where's the joke?
sotto voce
Pssst. Mr. Williams. C'mere, I need to tell you something.
You're a fucking idiot.
I might vote for him if he'd had the stones to call it the Ass Whisperer.
“France,” some country with an “elitist social safety net” and fields of high-quality booze-growing plants
Lets all dance our way to France, where the booze grows on plants and the girls wear no pants.
We bought a lovely home adjacent to the hole in the wall where the men can see it all.
Needs some snake charmer music, but otherwise, quite nice, yes, quite nice indeed.
And do the hoochie dance, I believe.
Where in the hell do we find these people in my state? The last person I want to see on my electronic voting machine is some rancher from Weatherford, TX who is as stupid as Ted Poe and as useless as Kay Bailey Bellyflop Hutchinson.
The sad thing is that he'll get elected and he won't do one fucking thing other than pet his donkeys.
But he owns an American Truck. No wait that's a Fiat.
…or scratch his asses.
Maybe screw them?
Mainly he just makes out with them.
You can see that the donkeys are deeply embarassed by this.
I'm not watching unless someone can tell me at what exact point in the video he jerks off the donkey.
Screw that. I ain't watching unless he blows a donkey.
Like Mickey Kaus, he has not denied that he blows them.
0:00-1:35
The donkey is only there to lift his luggage, nothing more.
the funny part is, we think they're asses too and we're still going to vote for them.
Holy shit. What an ass's ass.
Needs moar laser eyes!
Muley foolie.
"Saddle me yon braying ass."
Yes, I'm referring to Roger Williams.
This makes just as much sense as a "Donkey Points" video.
Donkey dung smells bad. Elephant dung will kill you.
Isn't this the guy who invented Rhode Island?
Whoa, vegetable girl, stand back on the Rhodies. They'll cut you baby, cut you real bad. Meanest motherfuckers in the Republic. Ask around.
Dear tardin' wingnuts,
If you hate me so much, please leave me alone and go and pursue another form of income.
luv,
The Gubb'mint.
At least he's just chatting with the donkeys. He could have gone all Jackie Sherrell on the animals.
Lemme see here: which one of those jackasses was the one who used to be a political crony of Bush, and served as Texas Secretary of State before resigning to open up a car dealership so that he could directly benefit from Cash for Clunkers even though he was opposed to the program? (Hint: it's not one of the four-legged ones.)
Wow, that braying jackass sure does have him a lotta nerve.
Trailor for sale or rent
Need to get 'mo money from the gobbermint
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the Roids
Keep fuckin' that donkey, Roger.
Donkeys are very cute but this guy is still a dipshit.
OT sorta but I was desperate for good news. Maybe I can get behind this gubernatorial candidate. Poised to make headway in Mississippi; all that's standing between him and victory is a contender currently holding office as well as a 3.1+ million dollar (so far) campaign purse.
HELLZ YES. And I voted for him too (twice, actually; in the primary and in the runoff).
Why do I keep thinking of Pinocchio and how all of the bad boys were turned into donkeys, given hoverounds, and joined the Tea Party?
And this is why we can't have pretty things
Hey, donkey. What's goin' on? You're a donkey, I like that. You eat apples, right? I produce Entourage. Okay, talk to you later, donkey.
I guess this here Roger Williams never metaphor he didn't like.
Vive "fields of high-quality booze-growing plants" !
“It’s a lot easier to feed elephants than donkeys”
If that were true than why was the vast majority of the debt incurred under Republican administrations?
Don't elephants also eat a considerable amount more than donkeys? One could rightly say they're a bottomless pit, consuming far more than nearly ALL of their animals cousins.
Elephants eat a lot more and shit a lot more. Then they panic and trample everything.
Sounds about right then.
I found that rather confusing. Sane people would rather feed 50 donkeys than 50 elephants…
With some thinking I realised he meant he would rather feed 1 elephant than 50 donkeys. He could then feed the elephant the hay of the 50 donkeys and tear down the 50 donkey stalls, to build one giant luxury housing for the elephant.
The donkeys can be left in the small paddock where the elephant manure gets dumped. Now it is important to feed the elephant really well, because the donkeys have to get their nutrients from the elephant dung dumnped in their paddock. The more you feed the elephant, the more nutrients may or may not trickle down to the donkeys.
His media handler gets points for originality. But there was one jackass too many in that commercial. And the way he was fondling the mules with tenderness, talking softly into the big ears, mooning into the big eyes, looked sort of a like a Saturday night date, Texas style. Marriage may follow.
So, it turns out Santorum was right. Wrong animal, is all. He was talking about man-on-do(g)nkey sex.
But where's the consummation of this donkey porn? I hate it when the video ends before the money shot.
"I try to talk sense to these guys but they just don't listen."
Maybe it's your dumbfuck hick accent, asshole.
Huh. Huh. Libruls is so stoopid. Ah get it.
This idea could really backfire if some Dem candidate with balls created a video where he tries to reason with an elephant who stupidly stares back, before stampeding into a crowd of people, causing blind destruction in its path, after which it has to be put out of its misery for the safety and health of the general populace.
i don't want to say anything mean about elephants. so i'll say this…much like real elephants, republicans are possibly as nearly intelligent as regular people.
in nature however, real elephants have helped injured humans by taking them to safety and guarding them from predators till other humans showed up.
Yeah, elephants are pretty loyal too. I am really an ele-phan (geddit?!).
But consider, this guy is disparaging a class of creature that helped build the country through hard work and shear force on our farms and factories. That's pretty representative of the pols turning their spineless backs on the working-class who helped make the US successful. Either way, the spot is a stupid metaphor that will resonate with ignorant illiterates.
agreed on all points.
and now for another pun. i think it's unfair to elephants that the R's chose them. as for the D's choice?
Donkey? Otay.
although that may be a more appropriate mascot for those of us who consider ourselves liberals before (or regardless of voting) Democrat.
Thanks. Innocent animals don't need to be caught up in this very human bullshit.
Needs a rooster and a hen, so he can say, 'can you hold my cock and pullet, while I scratch my ass'
Sorry. No, really. I'm sorry I remembered this stupid joke from my childhood. No one got it entirely.
It's awful. I wonder whom I can tell it to?
Didn't a donkey cary Mary to Bethlehem? Why does this guy hate Jesus?
If this guy were a real Republican this would be a porn clip with a wetsuit and a 14-year-old boy along with the Donkey.
TRUTH IN ADVERTISING, dammit!
whycome the donkeys don't have Red Eyes?
They can hear you just fine, you dumbass. They're just too smart to listen to another ass like themselves.
WE SHOLD STARV ENTITLED DONKIES!!1!!
"It's a lot easier to feed elephants than donkeys"
Yeah–but it's a lot harder to clean up the mess they leave behind afterwards…
My takeaway is that he wants to sell everyone to the tanners for a nice mint without having to pay for any upkeep.
Oh I love donkeys, but this man seems like an idiot. What are the poor donkeys supposed to do? Build their own barn?
The donkeys look like the smart ones in this video.
And they are WAY cute!
I want one!
Remember this is the same fucktard who took stimulus funds to pay himself.
Did not notice the Candidate, all looked like Jackasses to me. BTW, what is it with these Rightards and their animals?
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