wasilla family values

Wasilla City Council Gone Wild! Trashed Hotel Edition

wasilla city council headquartersSarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it. Ex-Sarah Palin administrative assistant and current Wasilla City Council member Steve Menard got drunk and Keith Mooned a hotel room with an epic spree of vomit, urine and smoldering ashes during his stay at the Westmark Sitka while on business for the city, and then, bonus, he tried to pass the hotel charges to the public. Good times on the city dime! The Wasilla City Council was not totally entertained, but what are you going to do, fire the guy? Then who of Sarah Palin’s friends is even left to hold office? Todd Palin’s moldy antler collection?

The Anchorage Daily News reports:

Wasilla City Councilman Steve Menard is apologizing but will not resign after the city was billed for a Sitka hotel room that Menard apparently drunkenly trashed while on city business.

The Wasilla City Council is requiring Menard to pay the city back the entire cost of his trip to Sitka and forbidding him from any more travel on city business until his term expires in October 2013.

Menard was staying at the Westmark in Sitka earlier this month for a meeting of the Alaska Municipal League. The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress. It’s not clear exactly how it was burned but the hotel bill said there had been smoking in what was a non-smoking room.

And on and on, just read the story, because it’s funny. Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc. we will never get tired of laughing at these people. Thank you, Wasilla! [Anchorage Daily News; h/t Wonkette operative “Christopher B.”]

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    1. DoktorThompson

      "We're right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo! And somebody's giving booze to these goddamn things!"

    1. jodyleek

      "I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll". As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll" – Mick Shrimpton

  1. Mumbletypeg

    "smoldering ashes… moldy antler collection…"

    Kirsten your descriptors render me snarkbitten at times. The detail is just too — *sniffs, dabs at eyes* — breathtaking for words.

      1. widestanceshakedown

        A recent favorite was "excess skin collection bucket, Mike Huckabee" but she has upheld Wonkette's longstanding tradition of excellent adjectivism (filthy cock jackal, Elliott Spitzer anyone?) quite well.

  2. Tundra Grifter

    "Sarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it."

    Wouldn't that pretty much be the entire population of Wasilla?

    1. Terry

      I'd say that the lady who runs the bookstore in Wasilla and filed Palin's book under comedy certainly is exempted from that catagory.

        1. elviouslyqueer

          If by "bookstore" you mean "establishment that only stocks copies of various and sundry Palin family memories, and the latest issue of Jugs," then yes.

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      The Department of Mattress Urination is there for YOU!
      "Wee the people" is not just a hollow motto.

  3. x111e7thst

    So how much can it cost to restore a Sitka hotel room to the status quo ante? A couple bags of meth?

  4. bigdupa

    Somebody get TLC on the line. I'd rather watch this guy stomp around Alaska than Wasiller Quitter. The show would combine the best parts of Jersey Shore, Jackass, Man vs. Food, Hoarders, and Rick Steves Travelog.

    1. ThundercatHo

      I'd like to see Gordon Ramsay up there dropping the f-bomb and straightening out their shit. Except then he always gets all nice at the end to the asshole owners and it just makes me sick. How about Simon doing "Alaska's Got Talent?", no, they don't. Never mind.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        Alaska's Goat Talent? I mean, rumour here on the wonketz states something about roasting Mickey-Kaus-blown goats in a hotel room …

  5. Sue4466

    Just to be clear, it's still not okay to torch the hotel's bed even if it IS a smoking room, right?

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Anybody here ever see Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown? The scene with the smoking bed –mmm mmmm!

  6. hagajim

    Did Jane Hathaway come to this Alaskan snowbilly's rescue? No – she is saving her powder to make sure she saves Levi Jethro from the cement pond.

  7. johnnyzhivago

    The Wasilla crowd is a bunch of clowns, but this is really what local government everywhere is like. Back when I was involved in this shit, I was the first mayor of our rural NJ township who didn't have to call the state police to break up at least one committee meeting. I found out the dais the committee sat on was bulletproof because of "previous threats".

    1. SorosBot

      Knowing Jersey politics, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the first mayor who didn't go straight from office to jail.

    2. MichelesPantalones

      Uhh … gee … all on a sudden, I wonder if our little cities' reputation for eccentricity is largely unearned. There have been some entertaining screaming matches and occasional unnerving moments, when threats of fisticuffs ensue, but I don't think anyone has actually ever required police intervention before.

    1. ThundercatHo

      Thanks, now I've got this mental image of $arah with a fucking alien bursting out of her chest. Do not ruin Aliens for me! Ripley is my favorite character, ever! Ok, deep breaths. Maybe just SP falling into a vat of molten lead? Yes, that's better.

  8. Callyson

    Menard, who did not return messages from the Daily News, is a waiter at Evangelo's Restaurant in Wasilla
    I'll have an order of drunken stupor with a side of crazy, please…

  9. skoalrebel

    Fuck, yeah! Steve Menard is a man who understands FREEDOM! [spit!]
    He's takin' a stand for the American Way of Life. Here's a regular Paul Revere, warning the people about the dangers of tyranny and the importance of drinking till you puke. One if by spew, two if by pee, man.

    Today, we are all Steve Menard.

      1. Gleem_McShineys

        Yeah, the whole NOT skinning a moose in the room shows a little weakness on the Freedom front.

    1. MichelesPantalones

      Uh, speak for yourself, dood, I'm trying to quit drinking, heah.

      I know, I know. Helluva time. I'm sure I'll relapse into the normal drunken stupor with the next remark that comes out of Bachmann, Palin, or Perry.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Joe's too busy attending the Glenn Beck rally in Israel. I shit you not, Glenn's little minion was doing the radio show this morning and said Walsh, Mike Lee (the teabagger from Utah) and Herman Cain are in attendance.

      1. MichelesPantalones

        I hope his wife hits him with umpty-gazillion lawsuits when he gets back! He owes $117K and Congress isn't paying for this trip, so where exactly did the little weasel scrounge up the money?

  10. johnnyzhivago

    Hey, OT, I'd hate to be the Libyan IT guy who FORGOT TO SET UP Ghaddaffi's Twitter and Facebook accounts.

    I mean what gives, how did this guy think he could hold onto power without social media???

    1. Poindexter718

      They were already there before the guy arrived. Renting a room in Wasilla is sort of like renting a car; you walk around the premises with a schematic and tick off areas where bodily waste is already present.

      1. Gleem_McShineys

        "Would you like to add the room insurance, sir? It covers all smudges, puddles, pools and logs, up to 3 inches in diameter."

  11. ManchuCandidate

    Like I said, I'd be more shocked if anyone associated with Palin's family wasn't an asshole, Grifter, hypocrite, idiot, dipshit, dumbass, drug pusher, drunk and asshole.*

    *seems like asshole stands out when used to describe the Palin clan, you know?

  12. Lascauxcaveman

    At least he got the dead hookers in the dumpster by himself. As an innkeeper, I've gotta tell you, I hate it when they leave the dead hookers under the bed.

    1. jodyleek

      Well, if you don't have a complimentary body bag and two-wheeler in each room, then it's your own fault.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Oh well, I guess I should feel fortunate no one's tried to flush one down the toilet (yet).

  13. Callyson

    "I would like to start off by …" he began, followed by a long pause. When he resumed his voice was breaking slightly. "Apologizing publicly for my actions in Sitka. The City of Wasilla, my friends and family, I'm truly embarrassed and sorry, truly sorry."
    Long pause? This guy trashes a hotel room and has to *pause* before apologizing?!? What, did he want to say "I'm sorry I didn't also break a window and clog the toilet"?

  14. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Run, $arah, Run!!!

    When Mooselini is the Preznit, we can expect an entire Cabinet full of Steve Menards.

    As long as this country is headed down the tubes anyway, why not have a few laughs?

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    "The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress."

    Well, except the burned mattress, sounds like a run-of-the-mill US Air Force TDY.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Let the first person that did not leave the Clark AFB temporary quarters in such shape, cast the first stone!

  16. Come here a minute

    Steve Menard could have saved the taxpayers and himself a lot of money and trouble if he'd skipped the Westmark Sitka and gone with a tent and wine coolers, like any smart teen from Wasilla.

  17. Barb

    I'll tell ya how fucked up these people are. Someone awoke in a bathtub that was filled with ice, attached to an I.V. and with a note that read, "sorry about the scar, we gave you an extra kidney. No reason for it, we were just bored."

  18. OC_Surf_Serf

    Keith Moon died from a prescription that was supposed to keep him from drinking himself to death.

    Kind of fitting for today's GOP's Tea friends.

    1. SorosBot

      And the doctors who conducted her autopsy now think Amy Winehouse may have died from alcohol withdrawal. Fitting as well.

      1. GOPCrusher

        I saw where they said that they found no illegal drugs in her system. But they failed to mention how many LEGAL drugs they found in her system.

  19. edgydrifter

    Setting someone else's shit on fire and then pissing on it to put it out is kind of a perfect metaphor for the duties of a small town councilman in much of the US. Consider this a Lil' Napoleon interpretive dance, if you will.

  20. EatsBabyDingos

    When the Government outlaws smoking matresses, then only outlaw matresses will smoke.

    This is a stupid comment.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      The eleven days he's been sober has made him all too aware of his surroundings, he'll be back in black-out's loving arms soon enough.

  21. baconzgood

    At this point I don't care about his politics! I'd really like to hang out with this guy. He's as cool as that German dude in SLC Punk!

  22. V572 T-Blow

    Wasilla is merely an Anchorage suburb exurb/rural slum and Municipal League meetings would be about the only opportunity city council members, who are probably part time anyway, get for official travel. So they make they obviously make most of it. Maryland Municipal League meetings, for instance, are always held at Ocean City. Party on, dudes! Let's take a stroll down Main Street: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=wasilla&ll=61.5

  23. Arken

    We've come a long way from the days when Northern Exposure made Alaska seem like a charming and beautiful frontier filled with quirky, interesting, open-minded people.

  24. horsedreamer_1

    As time goes, I am starting to think David Bazan wrote Winners Never Quit specifically for Sarah.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        So earnest. He lost his religion, but keeps coming back to Cornerstone Festival. And, lately, without a gallon milk jug filled with vodka.

  25. widestanceshakedown

    What a sad state of affairs when there are no blood or semen stains to be found. Puke and urine are the work of an amateur.

    I would never vacation with this dude.

  26. prommie

    Thats some resume' there. Alaska Railroad Board of Directors, Administrative Assistant to the Governor, Waiter at Evangelos. Of course he didn't resign from the City Council, he needs that $7,500 a year.

    They should bring back soap operas, this one could be called "As The Methlab Burns," a soap opera set among the political and society elite of Wassilla Alaska.

  27. Buckminster

    One of the most beautiful states in the Union, that I have had the privilege of visiting, and the natives are some of the biggest idiots anywhere in the 50 states. Just cromulent.

  28. seppdecker

    Andrew Jackson got the presidency doing much the same stuff. But he also killed a mess of brown-skinned people, that's probably what put him over the top.

  29. Allmighty_Manos

    Before we throw stones, lets ask ourselves: Wouldn't we all be doing the same thing if we were stuck on the Wasilla City Council?

  30. thefrontpage

    Rick Perry denies the existence of Tuesday’s earthquake.

    Meanwhile, Michelle Bachmann promised that she would reduce all future earthquakes to 2.9.

  31. weejee

    Sitka, or Новоaрхангельск as it was originally known, is the fourth largest city in Alaska. These things happen when a poor ruralz is transported to the glitter of a metropolis with a population of about 9,000. ♪♫ How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Puree? ♫♪

  32. widget2011

    "And only through the grace of God I will redeem myself. And I thank you," he said.

    God always gives drunken idiots a second chance, provided they have an R-(in front, or behind their name). I'm pretty sure Fox News will make sure a D-(in front, or behind) his name will appear. Any Bets?

  33. SilverTsunami

    "I sit before you a man who got caught, eleven minutes sober and reading some words about a program that my staffer told me to say, hoping I can bamboozle you all with the recover shtick . . . "

  34. Pat_Pending

    It ain't a 'Keith Moon' without a Rolls Royce in the foyer and a Lincoln Continental at the bottom of the pool…

  35. donner_froh

    The Westmark Sitka sent the city of Wasilla a $350 bill for repairs to Menard's room. Westmark Hotel manager Kathy Adams would not comment on Tuesday.

    They must not have replaced the urine soaked mattresses if the bill for damages was only $350.

    1. GregComlish

      Only $350??? With prices like that, how could you not piss/vomit all over the place, and commit arson?

    2. Gleem_McShineys

      Well, the bedbug remediation bid from the exterminator was a lot more, so they just calculated the difference.

  36. elviouslyqueer

    Oh please, the only reason this moron didn't resign is because he had enough intellectual fortitude to burn the sheets while smuggling out the underage male hustler.

  37. Limeylizzie

    Was it also a non-vomiting and non-urination room, sounds like the smoking was the least vile thing done.

  38. owhatever

    Needs to quit and spend more time with his family, but his wife doesn't want him to. She loves it when he goes out of town.

  39. Nostrildamus

    Were it not for "Todd Palin's moldy antler collection", half of Wasilla would never have experienced orgasm.

  40. berkeleyfarm

    Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc.

    There seem to be a number of Curt(is) Menards running around. I thought fratboi's dad here might have been the one that was Sarah Heath's boyfriend just before (maybe juuuuust before) she got knocked up and married Todd quickly. But apparently not.

  41. ttommyunger

    The world is full of dipshits and assholes, but suddenly Alaskan Assholes are noteworthy. Just one more benefit of Palinization.

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