Sarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it. Ex-Sarah Palin administrative assistant and current Wasilla City Council member Steve Menard got drunk and Keith Mooned a hotel room with an epic spree of vomit, urine and smoldering ashes during his stay at the Westmark Sitka while on business for the city, and then, bonus, he tried to pass the hotel charges to the public. Good times on the city dime! The Wasilla City Council was not totally entertained, but what are you going to do, fire the guy? Then who of Sarah Palin’s friends is even left to hold office? Todd Palin’s moldy antler collection?
The Anchorage Daily News reports:
Wasilla City Councilman Steve Menard is apologizing but will not resign after the city was billed for a Sitka hotel room that Menard apparently drunkenly trashed while on city business.
The Wasilla City Council is requiring Menard to pay the city back the entire cost of his trip to Sitka and forbidding him from any more travel on city business until his term expires in October 2013.
Menard was staying at the Westmark in Sitka earlier this month for a meeting of the Alaska Municipal League. The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress. It’s not clear exactly how it was burned but the hotel bill said there had been smoking in what was a non-smoking room.
And on and on, just read the story, because it’s funny. Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc. we will never get tired of laughing at these people. Thank you, Wasilla! [Anchorage Daily News; h/t Wonkette operative "Christopher B."]
{ 170 comments }
Fat drunk and Alaskan is no way to go through life, son.
But drunk is ok, right?!
Fear and Loathing in Wasilla.
"There is nothing quite so depraved as a man in the throes of an ether binge…"
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
"We're right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo! And somebody's giving booze to these goddamn things!"
Haha, man does that ever fit.
More like Typical Friday Night in Wasilla!
I say send him to Texas, maybe he can burn that down and piss on it.
Rick Perry's already on the case.
The place IS pretty flammable.
And they could use the urine.
Rock is dead, they say. Long live Rock!
"I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll". As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll" – Mick Shrimpton
How can you say you're a rocker if not a single TV went out the window?
Somehow, Duh Guv'Nor's children are going to get blamed for all this.
Brood Libel.
We have GOT to elect her President.
Yes, imagine her inner circle of advisors…
Imagine their shenanigans 24/7 on the national meejyuh.
Yes, imagine all the people, living for…
"smoldering ashes… moldy antler collection…"
Kirsten your descriptors render me snarkbitten at times. The detail is just too — *sniffs, dabs at eyes* — breathtaking for words.
I still like "rat-faced freak show Karl Rove" the best.
A recent favorite was "excess skin collection bucket, Mike Huckabee" but she has upheld Wonkette's longstanding tradition of excellent adjectivism (filthy cock jackal, Elliott Spitzer anyone?) quite well.
"Sarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it."
Wouldn't that pretty much be the entire population of Wasilla?
I'd say that the lady who runs the bookstore in Wasilla and filed Palin's book under comedy certainly is exempted from that catagory.
Wait, wait, back up: Wasilla has a bookstore?
If by "bookstore" you mean "establishment that only stocks copies of various and sundry Palin family memories, and the latest issue of Jugs," then yes.
How do you know about Juggs, elviouslyqueer?
That's considered being attentive to the public's business in Alaska
The Department of Mattress Urination is there for YOU!
"Wee the people" is not just a hollow motto.
Dude… you are some schmuck city counsel guy… not Aerosmith…
Go Alaska! GO!
So how much can it cost to restore a Sitka hotel room to the status quo ante? A couple bags of meth?
Roasting a goat in the room really does cross a line.
I don't know. Pedro Serrano really needed those hits.
Ruins a perfectly good lawn mower.
Especially after Mickey Kaus blows it.
Wut?
He's *not* quitting? No wonder he doesn't work for Sarah any longer.
Somebody get TLC on the line. I'd rather watch this guy stomp around Alaska than Wasiller Quitter. The show would combine the best parts of Jersey Shore, Jackass, Man vs. Food, Hoarders, and Rick Steves Travelog.
I'd like to see Gordon Ramsay up there dropping the f-bomb and straightening out their shit. Except then he always gets all nice at the end to the asshole owners and it just makes me sick. How about Simon doing "Alaska's Got Talent?", no, they don't. Never mind.
With the possible exceptions of Mr. Whitekeys & the Spamtones and maybe Jewel, you are correct.
Alaska's Goat Talent? I mean, rumour here on the wonketz states something about roasting Mickey-Kaus-blown goats in a hotel room …
Somehow I suspect Rick Steves is already involved in this.
With a little Arctic Charlie Sheen thrown in for good measure.
Better bring along the Dog Whisperer to facilitate communication with the women.
Just to be clear, it's still not okay to torch the hotel's bed even if it IS a smoking room, right?
Unless you're trying to smoke the bed, I suppose. Those things are a bitch to keep lit.
Anybody here ever see Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown? The scene with the smoking bed –mmm mmmm!
Did Jane Hathaway come to this Alaskan snowbilly's rescue? No – she is saving her powder to make sure she saves Levi Jethro from the cement pond.
The Wasilla crowd is a bunch of clowns, but this is really what local government everywhere is like. Back when I was involved in this shit, I was the first mayor of our rural NJ township who didn't have to call the state police to break up at least one committee meeting. I found out the dais the committee sat on was bulletproof because of "previous threats".
It's Jersey, baby.
Knowing Jersey politics, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the first mayor who didn't go straight from office to jail.
Chicken wire cage to ward off flying beer bottles?
Mind if we dance wif yo dates?
Needs more Patrick Swayze.
Uhh … gee … all on a sudden, I wonder if our little cities' reputation for eccentricity is largely unearned. There have been some entertaining screaming matches and occasional unnerving moments, when threats of fisticuffs ensue, but I don't think anyone has actually ever required police intervention before.
The whole fucking town is one huge meth lab. Nuke it from space, just to be sure.
Thanks, now I've got this mental image of $arah with a fucking alien bursting out of her chest. Do not ruin Aliens for me! Ripley is my favorite character, ever! Ok, deep breaths. Maybe just SP falling into a vat of molten lead? Yes, that's better.
Menard, who did not return messages from the Daily News, is a waiter at Evangelo's Restaurant in Wasilla
I'll have an order of drunken stupor with a side of crazy, please…
oh that's just delightful.
a waiter.
Fuck, yeah! Steve Menard is a man who understands FREEDOM! [spit!]
He's takin' a stand for the American Way of Life. Here's a regular Paul Revere, warning the people about the dangers of tyranny and the importance of drinking till you puke. One if by spew, two if by pee, man.
Today, we are all Steve Menard.
Points off for not firing a gun into the wall. Needs moar bullet holes.
Yeah, the whole NOT skinning a moose in the room shows a little weakness on the Freedom front.
Uh, speak for yourself, dood, I'm trying to quit drinking, heah.
I know, I know. Helluva time. I'm sure I'll relapse into the normal drunken stupor with the next remark that comes out of Bachmann, Palin, or Perry.
Sounds like Bristol is cutting back on the quality of the feedstock at her Arizona meth lab.
Maybe (deadbeat dad) Joe Walsh could write a song about this.
Joe's too busy attending the Glenn Beck rally in Israel. I shit you not, Glenn's little minion was doing the radio show this morning and said Walsh, Mike Lee (the teabagger from Utah) and Herman Cain are in attendance.
I hope his wife hits him with umpty-gazillion lawsuits when he gets back! He owes $117K and Congress isn't paying for this trip, so where exactly did the little weasel scrounge up the money?
Hey, OT, I'd hate to be the Libyan IT guy who FORGOT TO SET UP Ghaddaffi's Twitter and Facebook accounts.
I mean what gives, how did this guy think he could hold onto power without social media???
AFK, rebellion
Here's a picture of the Alaska Municipal League.
http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/1494/89288-4…
I'm really kinda surprised that there's no mention of feces in there.
Human OR animal.
Or fish scales and feathers.
Would Santorum count? Its a mixture of lube and feces, after all.
They were already there before the guy arrived. Renting a room in Wasilla is sort of like renting a car; you walk around the premises with a schematic and tick off areas where bodily waste is already present.
"Would you like to add the room insurance, sir? It covers all smudges, puddles, pools and logs, up to 3 inches in diameter."
Not so newsworthy in Wasilla.
It was for city business. The man has standards.
Like I said, I'd be more shocked if anyone associated with Palin's family wasn't an asshole, Grifter, hypocrite, idiot, dipshit, dumbass, drug pusher, drunk and asshole.*
*seems like asshole stands out when used to describe the Palin clan, you know?
It's not really a description, more a part of the name.
At least he got the dead hookers in the dumpster by himself. As an innkeeper, I've gotta tell you, I hate it when they leave the dead hookers under the bed.
Well, if you don't have a complimentary body bag and two-wheeler in each room, then it's your own fault.
Oh well, I guess I should feel fortunate no one's tried to flush one down the toilet (yet).
Also:
"I would like to start off by …" he began, followed by a long pause. When he resumed his voice was breaking slightly. "Apologizing publicly for my actions in Sitka. The City of Wasilla, my friends and family, I'm truly embarrassed and sorry, truly sorry."
Long pause? This guy trashes a hotel room and has to *pause* before apologizing?!? What, did he want to say "I'm sorry I didn't also break a window and clog the toilet"?
Ah, the dramatic pause. My guess, he was actually stifling his laughter.
I'm sorry if I offended anybody with my drunken rage-fest in Sitka.
Run, $arah, Run!!!
When Mooselini is the Preznit, we can expect an entire Cabinet full of Steve Menards.
As long as this country is headed down the tubes anyway, why not have a few laughs?
~
"The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress."
Well, except the burned mattress, sounds like a run-of-the-mill US Air Force TDY.
Let the first person that did not leave the Clark AFB temporary quarters in such shape, cast the first stone!
Alaska is like my uncle clarence, a total fuck up.
Are you my nephew?
did he blow up the toilet with dynamite? no? then he's no Keith Moon.
or Rick Perry
Evidently the apple doesn't fall far from the bespectacled colostomy bag.
Steve Menard could have saved the taxpayers and himself a lot of money and trouble if he'd skipped the Westmark Sitka and gone with a tent and wine coolers, like any smart teen from Wasilla.
"vomit on the carpet"
…really tied the room together.
He was going for a "bodily fluids" theme.
BLOWING UP THE COMMODE WITH DYNAMITE FAIL!!!!!!
http://rockandbrews.com/rockers/keith-moon/
I'll tell ya how fucked up these people are. Someone awoke in a bathtub that was filled with ice, attached to an I.V. and with a note that read, "sorry about the scar, we gave you an extra kidney. No reason for it, we were just bored."
Don't touch the jellyfish.
Great reply!
Keith Moon died from a prescription that was supposed to keep him from drinking himself to death.
Kind of fitting for today's GOP's Tea friends.
And the doctors who conducted her autopsy now think Amy Winehouse may have died from alcohol withdrawal. Fitting as well.
I saw where they said that they found no illegal drugs in her system. But they failed to mention how many LEGAL drugs they found in her system.
AOTK
Lose big money at Menaaaaaaards!
It wasn't a real Wasilla City Council party unless there was some poop smeared on the walls.
Setting someone else's shit on fire and then pissing on it to put it out is kind of a perfect metaphor for the duties of a small town councilman in much of the US. Consider this a Lil' Napoleon interpretive dance, if you will.
I love pissing on a fire as much as the next guy, but I usually have the common decency to do it outside.
When the Government outlaws smoking matresses, then only outlaw matresses will smoke.
This is a stupid comment.
Pass the bottle, will ya?
if I have to share my hometown with Sarah Palin, I would be very drunk too, also
The eleven days he's been sober has made him all too aware of his surroundings, he'll be back in black-out's loving arms soon enough.
At this point I don't care about his politics! I'd really like to hang out with this guy. He's as cool as that German dude in SLC Punk!
Needs more mudshark.
Hi! I'm Troy McClure.
The Edgewater, one of C'Addle's historic rock landmarks. Before the grunge came up the hill near our neighborhood.
"Bend over and spread 'em, here comes MY BULLET"
Mullet, haddock, salmon, tile fish, tilapia????
You stay classy, Menard…
Wasilla is merely an Anchorage
suburbexurb/rural slum and Municipal League meetings would be about the only opportunity city council members, who are probably part time anyway, get for official travel. So they make they obviously make most of it. Maryland Municipal League meetings, for instance, are always held at Ocean City. Party on, dudes! Let's take a stroll down Main Street: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=wasilla&ll=61.5…That's not Alaska–no polar bears or igloos.
How quaint. Looks about as inviting as the desert burg I have to shop in.
We've come a long way from the days when Northern Exposure made Alaska seem like a charming and beautiful frontier filled with quirky, interesting, open-minded people.
As time goes, I am starting to think David Bazan wrote Winners Never Quit specifically for Sarah.
God, I miss good ole Pedro…
So earnest. He lost his religion, but keeps coming back to Cornerstone Festival. And, lately, without a gallon milk jug filled with vodka.
Now that's a "real" American for ya…
What a sad state of affairs when there are no blood or semen stains to be found. Puke and urine are the work of an amateur.
I would never vacation with this dude.
The slacker! He could've just held up his local Greyhound bus for a little added frisson:
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/08/24/us-seme…
Thats some resume' there. Alaska Railroad Board of Directors, Administrative Assistant to the Governor, Waiter at Evangelos. Of course he didn't resign from the City Council, he needs that $7,500 a year.
They should bring back soap operas, this one could be called "As The Methlab Burns," a soap opera set among the political and society elite of Wassilla Alaska.
Does the Council job provide medical? That would make it worth hanging on to, alone.
One of the most beautiful states in the Union, that I have had the privilege of visiting, and the natives are some of the biggest idiots anywhere in the 50 states. Just cromulent.
Andrew Jackson got the presidency doing much the same stuff. But he also killed a mess of brown-skinned people, that's probably what put him over the top.
It was those damn wine coolers. They don't even taste like alcohol!
Before we throw stones, lets ask ourselves: Wouldn't we all be doing the same thing if we were stuck on the Wasilla City Council?
Those people in Wasilla really know how to party!
Rick Perry denies the existence of Tuesday’s earthquake.
Meanwhile, Michelle Bachmann promised that she would reduce all future earthquakes to 2.9.
No Pay Per View porn on the bill? Disappointing, drunken slacker.
Sitka, or Новоaрхангельск as it was originally known, is the fourth largest city in Alaska. These things happen when a poor ruralz is transported to the glitter of a metropolis with a population of about 9,000. ♪♫ How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Puree? ♫♪
"And only through the grace of God I will redeem myself. And I thank you," he said.
God always gives drunken idiots a second chance, provided they have an R-(in front, or behind their name). I'm pretty sure Fox News will make sure a D-(in front, or behind) his name will appear. Any Bets?
Cabinet meetings under President Palin are going to be great. The DVDs of "Secretaries of Defense Gone Wild" will be hot sellers.
"I sit before you a man who got caught, eleven minutes sober and reading some words about a program that my staffer told me to say, hoping I can bamboozle you all with the recover shtick . . . "
This Joker puts the Bam in bamboozle.
Rehabracadabra. The Republican cure-all.
It ain't a 'Keith Moon' without a Rolls Royce in the foyer and a Lincoln Continental at the bottom of the pool…
Imagine how crazy they would have gone if let loose in Ketchikan!
Take a flying leap off the bridge to nowhere?
The Westmark Sitka sent the city of Wasilla a $350 bill for repairs to Menard's room. Westmark Hotel manager Kathy Adams would not comment on Tuesday.
They must not have replaced the urine soaked mattresses if the bill for damages was only $350.
Only $350??? With prices like that, how could you not piss/vomit all over the place, and commit arson?
The Wasilla Tourism Bureau needs to get right on this!
Flip the mattress over, a little fabreeze, done!
Isn't that SOP for putting out a burning mattress?
Well, the bedbug remediation bid from the exterminator was a lot more, so they just calculated the difference.
The Shining was set at the Westmark Sitka, right?
Oh please, the only reason this moron didn't resign is because he had enough intellectual fortitude to burn the sheets while smuggling out the underage male hustler.
Isn't "Steve Menard" just Piper Palin's drag name?
Sheesh, did the Westmark Sitka serve Menard brown M&Ms or something?
Was it also a non-vomiting and non-urination room, sounds like the smoking was the least vile thing done.
This is why we can't have things.
Needs to quit and spend more time with his family, but his wife doesn't want him to. She loves it when he goes out of town.
Lush libel.
sitka vs wasilla.
this is kinda like greece vs sparta.
Were it not for "Todd Palin's moldy antler collection", half of Wasilla would never have experienced orgasm.
Golden Shower! Wasilla Style!
Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc.
There seem to be a number of Curt(is) Menards running around. I thought fratboi's dad here might have been the one that was Sarah Heath's boyfriend just before (maybe juuuuust before) she got knocked up and married Todd quickly. But apparently not.
Take off, eh?
No mention of a rentboy? Hardly a scandal, I say!
The world is full of dipshits and assholes, but suddenly Alaskan Assholes are noteworthy. Just one more benefit of Palinization.
Needs to travel with Depends.
Comments on this entry are closed.