wasilla city council headquartersSarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it. Ex-Sarah Palin administrative assistant and current Wasilla City Council member Steve Menard got drunk and Keith Mooned a hotel room with an epic spree of vomit, urine and smoldering ashes during his stay at the Westmark Sitka while on business for the city, and then, bonus, he tried to pass the hotel charges to the public. Good times on the city dime! The Wasilla City Council was not totally entertained, but what are you going to do, fire the guy? Then who of Sarah Palin’s friends is even left to hold office? Todd Palin’s moldy antler collection?

The Anchorage Daily News reports:

Wasilla City Councilman Steve Menard is apologizing but will not resign after the city was billed for a Sitka hotel room that Menard apparently drunkenly trashed while on city business.

The Wasilla City Council is requiring Menard to pay the city back the entire cost of his trip to Sitka and forbidding him from any more travel on city business until his term expires in October 2013.

Menard was staying at the Westmark in Sitka earlier this month for a meeting of the Alaska Municipal League. The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress. It’s not clear exactly how it was burned but the hotel bill said there had been smoking in what was a non-smoking room.

And on and on, just read the story, because it’s funny. Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc. we will never get tired of laughing at these people. Thank you, Wasilla! [Anchorage Daily News; h/t Wonkette operative “Christopher B.”]

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  • DashboardBuddha

    Fat drunk and Alaskan is no way to go through life, son.

    • chicken_thief

      But drunk is ok, right?!

  • Moonbatting Average

    Fear and Loathing in Wasilla.

  • MrFizzy

    I say send him to Texas, maybe he can burn that down and piss on it.

    • HistoriCat

      Rick Perry's already on the case.

    • LetUsBray

      The place IS pretty flammable.

      • GOPCrusher

        And they could use the urine.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Rock is dead, they say. Long live Rock!

    • jodyleek

      "I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll". As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll" – Mick Shrimpton

    • GOPCrusher

      How can you say you're a rocker if not a single TV went out the window?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Somehow, Duh Guv'Nor's children are going to get blamed for all this.

    Brood Libel.

  • NowTheyTellMe

    We have GOT to elect her President.

    • AJWjr.

      Yes, imagine her inner circle of advisors…

      • MichelesPantalones

        Imagine their shenanigans 24/7 on the national meejyuh.

        • Negropolis

          Yes, imagine all the people, living for…

  • "smoldering ashes… moldy antler collection…"

    Kirsten your descriptors render me snarkbitten at times. The detail is just too — *sniffs, dabs at eyes* — breathtaking for words.

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      I still like "rat-faced freak show Karl Rove" the best.

      • widestanceshakedown

        A recent favorite was "excess skin collection bucket, Mike Huckabee" but she has upheld Wonkette's longstanding tradition of excellent adjectivism (filthy cock jackal, Elliott Spitzer anyone?) quite well.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Sarah Palin’s brainless gaggle of relatives, offspring and offspring baby daddies do not have the entire monopoly on foolish drunken mayhem in Wasilla, but if you extend that network to cover Sarah Palin’s former employees, yeah, that’s still pretty much it."

    Wouldn't that pretty much be the entire population of Wasilla?

    • Terry

      I'd say that the lady who runs the bookstore in Wasilla and filed Palin's book under comedy certainly is exempted from that catagory.

      • LetUsBray

        Wait, wait, back up: Wasilla has a bookstore?

        • elviouslyqueer

          If by "bookstore" you mean "establishment that only stocks copies of various and sundry Palin family memories, and the latest issue of Jugs," then yes.

          • horsedreamer_1

            How do you know about Juggs, elviouslyqueer?

  • DaSandman

    That's considered being attentive to the public's business in Alaska

    • Gleem_McShineys

      The Department of Mattress Urination is there for YOU!
      "Wee the people" is not just a hollow motto.

  • DaRooster

    Dude… you are some schmuck city counsel guy… not Aerosmith…
    Go Alaska! GO!

  • x111e7thst

    So how much can it cost to restore a Sitka hotel room to the status quo ante? A couple bags of meth?

  • Indiepalin

    Roasting a goat in the room really does cross a line.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I don't know. Pedro Serrano really needed those hits.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Ruins a perfectly good lawn mower.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Especially after Mickey Kaus blows it.


  • under_score

    He's *not* quitting? No wonder he doesn't work for Sarah any longer.

  • bigdupa

    Somebody get TLC on the line. I'd rather watch this guy stomp around Alaska than Wasiller Quitter. The show would combine the best parts of Jersey Shore, Jackass, Man vs. Food, Hoarders, and Rick Steves Travelog.

    • ThundercatHo

      I'd like to see Gordon Ramsay up there dropping the f-bomb and straightening out their shit. Except then he always gets all nice at the end to the asshole owners and it just makes me sick. How about Simon doing "Alaska's Got Talent?", no, they don't. Never mind.

      • AJWjr.

        With the possible exceptions of Mr. Whitekeys & the Spamtones and maybe Jewel, you are correct.

      • MichelesPantalones

        Alaska's Goat Talent? I mean, rumour here on the wonketz states something about roasting Mickey-Kaus-blown goats in a hotel room …

    • jaytingle

      Somehow I suspect Rick Steves is already involved in this.

    • chicken_thief

      With a little Arctic Charlie Sheen thrown in for good measure.

    • Barrelhse

      Better bring along the Dog Whisperer to facilitate communication with the women.

  • Sue4466

    Just to be clear, it's still not okay to torch the hotel's bed even if it IS a smoking room, right?

    • kissawookiee

      Unless you're trying to smoke the bed, I suppose. Those things are a bitch to keep lit.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Anybody here ever see Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown? The scene with the smoking bed –mmm mmmm!

  • hagajim

    Did Jane Hathaway come to this Alaskan snowbilly's rescue? No – she is saving her powder to make sure she saves Levi Jethro from the cement pond.

  • The Wasilla crowd is a bunch of clowns, but this is really what local government everywhere is like. Back when I was involved in this shit, I was the first mayor of our rural NJ township who didn't have to call the state police to break up at least one committee meeting. I found out the dais the committee sat on was bulletproof because of "previous threats".

    • Terry

      It's Jersey, baby.

    • SorosBot

      Knowing Jersey politics, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the first mayor who didn't go straight from office to jail.

    • Ramon X

      Chicken wire cage to ward off flying beer bottles?

      • AJWjr.

        Mind if we dance wif yo dates?

      • mog253

        Needs more Patrick Swayze.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Uhh … gee … all on a sudden, I wonder if our little cities' reputation for eccentricity is largely unearned. There have been some entertaining screaming matches and occasional unnerving moments, when threats of fisticuffs ensue, but I don't think anyone has actually ever required police intervention before.

  • freakishlywrong

    The whole fucking town is one huge meth lab. Nuke it from space, just to be sure.

    • ThundercatHo

      Thanks, now I've got this mental image of $arah with a fucking alien bursting out of her chest. Do not ruin Aliens for me! Ripley is my favorite character, ever! Ok, deep breaths. Maybe just SP falling into a vat of molten lead? Yes, that's better.

  • Callyson

    Menard, who did not return messages from the Daily News, is a waiter at Evangelo's Restaurant in Wasilla
    I'll have an order of drunken stupor with a side of crazy, please…

    • fuflans

      oh that's just delightful.

      a waiter.

  • skoalrebel

    Fuck, yeah! Steve Menard is a man who understands FREEDOM! [spit!]
    He's takin' a stand for the American Way of Life. Here's a regular Paul Revere, warning the people about the dangers of tyranny and the importance of drinking till you puke. One if by spew, two if by pee, man.

    Today, we are all Steve Menard.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Points off for not firing a gun into the wall. Needs moar bullet holes.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        Yeah, the whole NOT skinning a moose in the room shows a little weakness on the Freedom front.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Uh, speak for yourself, dood, I'm trying to quit drinking, heah.

      I know, I know. Helluva time. I'm sure I'll relapse into the normal drunken stupor with the next remark that comes out of Bachmann, Palin, or Perry.

  • fartknocker

    Sounds like Bristol is cutting back on the quality of the feedstock at her Arizona meth lab.

  • ThundercatHo

    Maybe (deadbeat dad) Joe Walsh could write a song about this.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Joe's too busy attending the Glenn Beck rally in Israel. I shit you not, Glenn's little minion was doing the radio show this morning and said Walsh, Mike Lee (the teabagger from Utah) and Herman Cain are in attendance.

      • MichelesPantalones

        I hope his wife hits him with umpty-gazillion lawsuits when he gets back! He owes $117K and Congress isn't paying for this trip, so where exactly did the little weasel scrounge up the money?

  • Hey, OT, I'd hate to be the Libyan IT guy who FORGOT TO SET UP Ghaddaffi's Twitter and Facebook accounts.

    I mean what gives, how did this guy think he could hold onto power without social media???

    • Guppy06

      AFK, rebellion

  • baconzgood

    Here's a picture of the Alaska Municipal League.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm really kinda surprised that there's no mention of feces in there.

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      Human OR animal.

    • Terry

      Or fish scales and feathers.

    • prommie

      Would Santorum count? Its a mixture of lube and feces, after all.

    • Poindexter718

      They were already there before the guy arrived. Renting a room in Wasilla is sort of like renting a car; you walk around the premises with a schematic and tick off areas where bodily waste is already present.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        "Would you like to add the room insurance, sir? It covers all smudges, puddles, pools and logs, up to 3 inches in diameter."

    • mog253

      Not so newsworthy in Wasilla.

    • An_Outhouse

      It was for city business. The man has standards.

  • Like I said, I'd be more shocked if anyone associated with Palin's family wasn't an asshole, Grifter, hypocrite, idiot, dipshit, dumbass, drug pusher, drunk and asshole.*

    *seems like asshole stands out when used to describe the Palin clan, you know?

    • It's not really a description, more a part of the name.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    At least he got the dead hookers in the dumpster by himself. As an innkeeper, I've gotta tell you, I hate it when they leave the dead hookers under the bed.

    • jodyleek

      Well, if you don't have a complimentary body bag and two-wheeler in each room, then it's your own fault.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oh well, I guess I should feel fortunate no one's tried to flush one down the toilet (yet).

  • Callyson

    "I would like to start off by …" he began, followed by a long pause. When he resumed his voice was breaking slightly. "Apologizing publicly for my actions in Sitka. The City of Wasilla, my friends and family, I'm truly embarrassed and sorry, truly sorry."
    Long pause? This guy trashes a hotel room and has to *pause* before apologizing?!? What, did he want to say "I'm sorry I didn't also break a window and clog the toilet"?

    • jodyleek

      Ah, the dramatic pause. My guess, he was actually stifling his laughter.

    • AJWjr.

      I'm sorry if I offended anybody with my drunken rage-fest in Sitka.

  • Run, $arah, Run!!!

    When Mooselini is the Preznit, we can expect an entire Cabinet full of Steve Menards.

    As long as this country is headed down the tubes anyway, why not have a few laughs?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "The hotel reported that damage to his room included urine on two mattresses and a chair, vomit on the carpet, ruined bedding, and a burned mattress."

    Well, except the burned mattress, sounds like a run-of-the-mill US Air Force TDY.

    • GOPCrusher

      Let the first person that did not leave the Clark AFB temporary quarters in such shape, cast the first stone!

  • LabRodent

    Alaska is like my uncle clarence, a total fuck up.

    • prommie

      Are you my nephew?

  • poncho_pilot

    did he blow up the toilet with dynamite? no? then he's no Keith Moon.

  • Poindexter718

    Evidently the apple doesn't fall far from the bespectacled colostomy bag.

  • Come here a minute

    Steve Menard could have saved the taxpayers and himself a lot of money and trouble if he'd skipped the Westmark Sitka and gone with a tent and wine coolers, like any smart teen from Wasilla.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "vomit on the carpet"

    …really tied the room together.

    • Nostrildamus

      He was going for a "bodily fluids" theme.

  • baconzgood


  • Barb

    I'll tell ya how fucked up these people are. Someone awoke in a bathtub that was filled with ice, attached to an I.V. and with a note that read, "sorry about the scar, we gave you an extra kidney. No reason for it, we were just bored."

    • ThundercatHo

      Don't touch the jellyfish.

      • Barb

        Great reply!

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Keith Moon died from a prescription that was supposed to keep him from drinking himself to death.

    Kind of fitting for today's GOP's Tea friends.

    • SorosBot

      And the doctors who conducted her autopsy now think Amy Winehouse may have died from alcohol withdrawal. Fitting as well.

      • GOPCrusher

        I saw where they said that they found no illegal drugs in her system. But they failed to mention how many LEGAL drugs they found in her system.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba


  • a_pink_poodle

    Lose big money at Menaaaaaaards!

  • It wasn't a real Wasilla City Council party unless there was some poop smeared on the walls.

  • edgydrifter

    Setting someone else's shit on fire and then pissing on it to put it out is kind of a perfect metaphor for the duties of a small town councilman in much of the US. Consider this a Lil' Napoleon interpretive dance, if you will.

    • I love pissing on a fire as much as the next guy, but I usually have the common decency to do it outside.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    When the Government outlaws smoking matresses, then only outlaw matresses will smoke.

    This is a stupid comment.

    • Nostrildamus

      Pass the bottle, will ya?

  • arihaya

    if I have to share my hometown with Sarah Palin, I would be very drunk too, also

    • NorthStarSpanx

      The eleven days he's been sober has made him all too aware of his surroundings, he'll be back in black-out's loving arms soon enough.

  • baconzgood

    At this point I don't care about his politics! I'd really like to hang out with this guy. He's as cool as that German dude in SLC Punk!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Needs more mudshark.

    • baconzgood

      Hi! I'm Troy McClure.

    • The Edgewater, one of C'Addle's historic rock landmarks. Before the grunge came up the hill near our neighborhood.

    • Pat_Pending

      "Bend over and spread 'em, here comes MY BULLET"

      • mog253

        Mullet, haddock, salmon, tile fish, tilapia????

  • Urban_Achiever

    You stay classy, Menard…

  • V572 T-Blow

    Wasilla is merely an Anchorage suburb exurb/rural slum and Municipal League meetings would be about the only opportunity city council members, who are probably part time anyway, get for official travel. So they make they obviously make most of it. Maryland Municipal League meetings, for instance, are always held at Ocean City. Party on, dudes! Let's take a stroll down Main Street:

    • That's not Alaska–no polar bears or igloos.

    • AJWjr.

      How quaint. Looks about as inviting as the desert burg I have to shop in.

  • Arken

    We've come a long way from the days when Northern Exposure made Alaska seem like a charming and beautiful frontier filled with quirky, interesting, open-minded people.

  • horsedreamer_1

    As time goes, I am starting to think David Bazan wrote Winners Never Quit specifically for Sarah.

    • God, I miss good ole Pedro…

      • horsedreamer_1

        So earnest. He lost his religion, but keeps coming back to Cornerstone Festival. And, lately, without a gallon milk jug filled with vodka.

  • subsum

    Now that's a "real" American for ya…

  • widestanceshakedown

    What a sad state of affairs when there are no blood or semen stains to be found. Puke and urine are the work of an amateur.

    I would never vacation with this dude.

  • prommie

    Thats some resume' there. Alaska Railroad Board of Directors, Administrative Assistant to the Governor, Waiter at Evangelos. Of course he didn't resign from the City Council, he needs that $7,500 a year.

    They should bring back soap operas, this one could be called "As The Methlab Burns," a soap opera set among the political and society elite of Wassilla Alaska.

    • AJWjr.

      Does the Council job provide medical? That would make it worth hanging on to, alone.

  • Buckminster

    One of the most beautiful states in the Union, that I have had the privilege of visiting, and the natives are some of the biggest idiots anywhere in the 50 states. Just cromulent.

  • Andrew Jackson got the presidency doing much the same stuff. But he also killed a mess of brown-skinned people, that's probably what put him over the top.

  • genxr

    It was those damn wine coolers. They don't even taste like alcohol!

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Before we throw stones, lets ask ourselves: Wouldn't we all be doing the same thing if we were stuck on the Wasilla City Council?

  • thefrontpage

    Those people in Wasilla really know how to party!

  • thefrontpage

    Rick Perry denies the existence of Tuesday’s earthquake.

    Meanwhile, Michelle Bachmann promised that she would reduce all future earthquakes to 2.9.

  • James Michael Curley

    No Pay Per View porn on the bill? Disappointing, drunken slacker.

  • Sitka, or Новоaрхангельск as it was originally known, is the fourth largest city in Alaska. These things happen when a poor ruralz is transported to the glitter of a metropolis with a population of about 9,000. ♪♫ How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Puree? ♫♪

  • widget2011

    "And only through the grace of God I will redeem myself. And I thank you," he said.

    God always gives drunken idiots a second chance, provided they have an R-(in front, or behind their name). I'm pretty sure Fox News will make sure a D-(in front, or behind) his name will appear. Any Bets?

  • Cabinet meetings under President Palin are going to be great. The DVDs of "Secretaries of Defense Gone Wild" will be hot sellers.

  • SilverTsunami

    "I sit before you a man who got caught, eleven minutes sober and reading some words about a program that my staffer told me to say, hoping I can bamboozle you all with the recover shtick . . . "

    • widget2011

      This Joker puts the Bam in bamboozle.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Rehabracadabra. The Republican cure-all.

  • Pat_Pending

    It ain't a 'Keith Moon' without a Rolls Royce in the foyer and a Lincoln Continental at the bottom of the pool…

  • mavenmaven

    Imagine how crazy they would have gone if let loose in Ketchikan!

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Take a flying leap off the bridge to nowhere?

  • The Westmark Sitka sent the city of Wasilla a $350 bill for repairs to Menard's room. Westmark Hotel manager Kathy Adams would not comment on Tuesday.

    They must not have replaced the urine soaked mattresses if the bill for damages was only $350.

    • GregComlish

      Only $350??? With prices like that, how could you not piss/vomit all over the place, and commit arson?

      • Nostrildamus

        The Wasilla Tourism Bureau needs to get right on this!

    • genxr

      Flip the mattress over, a little fabreeze, done!

    • AJWjr.

      Isn't that SOP for putting out a burning mattress?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Well, the bedbug remediation bid from the exterminator was a lot more, so they just calculated the difference.

  • Wilcoxyz

    The Shining was set at the Westmark Sitka, right?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh please, the only reason this moron didn't resign is because he had enough intellectual fortitude to burn the sheets while smuggling out the underage male hustler.

  • GregComlish

    Isn't "Steve Menard" just Piper Palin's drag name?

  • LetUsBray

    Sheesh, did the Westmark Sitka serve Menard brown M&Ms or something?

  • Limeylizzie

    Was it also a non-vomiting and non-urination room, sounds like the smoking was the least vile thing done.

  • Dürers Rhino

    This is why we can't have things.

  • owhatever

    Needs to quit and spend more time with his family, but his wife doesn't want him to. She loves it when he goes out of town.

  • FannyBurney

    Lush libel.

  • fuflans

    sitka vs wasilla.

    this is kinda like greece vs sparta.

  • Nostrildamus

    Were it not for "Todd Palin's moldy antler collection", half of Wasilla would never have experienced orgasm.

  • meatlofer

    Golden Shower! Wasilla Style!

  • berkeleyfarm

    Sarah Palin appointed this guy to the Alaska Railroad board of directors before making him one of her administrative assistants because his dad was a Palin family friend, etc. etc.

    There seem to be a number of Curt(is) Menards running around. I thought fratboi's dad here might have been the one that was Sarah Heath's boyfriend just before (maybe juuuuust before) she got knocked up and married Todd quickly. But apparently not.

  • Barrelhse

    Take off, eh?

  • Negropolis

    No mention of a rentboy? Hardly a scandal, I say!

  • ttommyunger

    The world is full of dipshits and assholes, but suddenly Alaskan Assholes are noteworthy. Just one more benefit of Palinization.

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