JESUS PEOPLE FOR LOWER CORPORATE TAXES  9:50 am August 24, 2011

Rick Perry Vows to End Jim Crow Oppression of Corporations

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Rick Perry is a devious teabagger barbie doll who would kidnap Jesus and sell him as a sex slave to the zombie corpse of Stalin if it would win him the White House, which is the only possible conclusion from watching this video of Rick Perry visiting South Carolina and tossing off a bitterly cynical analogy comparing one of the great progressive achievements in American social justice history, the civil rights movement, to the struggle for lower corporate taxes and regulations. We on the other hand wish that Stalin’s corpse would kidnap Rick Perry and sell him back to the parallel sixth dimension where repeat idiot Texas governor presidential candidacies come from. What else has Rick Perry told us lately about Biblical corporate fetishism?

RightWingWatch points out has some context:

When told that he was visiting a town where civil rights advocates held a sit-in fifty years ago, Perry mused that the corporate fight against taxes and regulation is an extension of the civil rights movement: “I mean we’ve gone from a country that made great strides in issues of civil rights,” Perry said, “And as we go forward, America needs to be about freedom. It needs to be about freedom from over-taxation, freedom from over-litigation, freedom from over-regulation.”

Immediately, critics rightfully questioned how the fight against “over-taxation” and “over-regulation” could be seen as an outgrowth of a movement that fought for social and economic justice.

But it is important to remember that Perry’s fight for lower taxes and regulations for corporations (on the backs of low-income families) is not just an economic position but also a spiritual issue. Before hisResponse prayer rally earlier this month, Perry told The 700 Club that he would be praying to end “government’s over-taxed, over-regulated, over-litigated” policies that have “caused roadblocks to economic prosperity.”

Fortunately so far God usually clicks “delete” when He gets Rick Perry’s daily prayer spam. [YouTube/ RightWingWatch]

 

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{ 241 comments }

Texan_Bulldog August 24, 2011 at 9:54 am

Yeah, because the corporate tax and making sure restaurants don't feed you rotted meat is just like lynching black people! Corporations are people too!!!1!!!11!! (Just not black people.)

AJWjr. August 24, 2011 at 10:11 am

So that's why Blackwater changed their name to Xe, to escape the 3/5 corporate personhood slavery?

NorthStarSpanx August 24, 2011 at 9:54 am

The invisible hand of the free market is shoved up the assholes of GOP POTUS candidates.

weejee August 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

Sock puppets all.

baconzgood August 24, 2011 at 9:54 am

"Corporations are people too"

-Now, Any GOP Fuck Stick-

OC_Surf_Serf August 24, 2011 at 9:54 am

To Perry and those who want a Theocracy…Didn't your God just try to bring down the National Cathedral?

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

No – that was plate tectonics.

The fact that Perry's "Pray for Rain" campaign has been met by a record drought and a seemingly endless high pressure area over Texas (meaning constant 100 degree + days) is God's response to Ricky boy. God may be a bit of dick but he does have a sense of humor.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

"No – that was plate tectonics."

Using their logic-
Sorry but that's too sciency.

GOPCrusher August 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Isn't plate tectonics the art of carrying three or four at the same time as you head back to the table from the Golden Buffet food line?

James Michael Curley August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

Perry had a dismal college career. He has long been the anti-Dept of Education Gov. in Texas. His praying for rain worked. I was his geography that was off. We in NJ hope Perry stops, or looks at a map, 11 inches in two days is too much.

kissawookiee August 24, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Marcus Bachmann begs to disagree.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 11:10 am

At this point, His sense of humor has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Drought. "Can you hear me now?" Heat wave. "Can you hear me now?" Fires. "Can you hear me now?" MORE DROUGHT. "Can you hear me NOW?!"

etc., etc.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:41 pm

I just wish He'd lay off those of us that had nothing to do with this shit. Biely, you're old friends, can't you talk to him?

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:39 pm

God is a terrible dick for encouraging Bachmann, Perry, and Santorum to run. No wonder his popularity is plummeting.

Terry August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

Recall that the National Cathedral is a multi denominational house of worship run by the Episcopalians. Multiple problems with that for a fundy like Perry. First, Episcopalians might as well be Catholics. Second, that stuff about welcoming everyone only goes as far as welcoming them all to become fundies.

So, Perry might just feel that the Cathedral had it coming.

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

It's always irritated the bejebus out of me that they call it "The National Cathedral" as though this private tax-sheltered enterprise bore the imprimatur of the US gummint, which it does not. It should be termed "the so-called 'National Cathedral'" the same way Common Cause is always stigmatized as a "self-styled citizens' lobby."

Plus Episcopalians are just a Catholic splinter group.

Terry August 24, 2011 at 10:31 am

The Catholics have the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception over in Northeast (the Holy Land of DC, Catholic University, a monastery, the John Paul II Center). No one is really fighting to gain control of that name, though.

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:34 am

"Episcopalians are just a Catholic splinter group."

Isn't that true of most the nominal Christian groups in this country?

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 10:40 am

Blasphemy! Southern Baptisserie, established because the Original Baptists couldn't help pointing out that slavery seemed rather un-Christ-like, is The Only True Faith.

Lascauxcaveman August 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

"Episcopalians are just a Catholic splinter group."

Hey, if you go all the way back to the big Jeez himself, you could say the same thing about Catholicism vis a vis Judaism.

And probably Judaism vis a vis Baal, and Baal vis a vis Ra, and so on, down the line…

I guess the long view is religions have to evolve based on the needs of the societies in which they exist, not vice versa.

metamarcisf August 24, 2011 at 9:55 am

I'll be the first to help brother Ricky install Corporation-only drinking fountains in public buildings.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:00 am

OT but I used to delight in the amazing negative p points that you amassed…what happened? You were my hero for going into the lion's den.

metamarcisf August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

My secret identity continues to plague the racist trolls on the Breitbart sites. Alas, metamarci was banned permanently for comparing a potential Cain – Breitbart ticket to the old Amos and Andy show, something you probably don't recall, being from the UK.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:11 am

Oh at least you went out in style.

Terry August 24, 2011 at 10:07 am

Perhaps he's been taking a cyber vacation and staying away from the tea bagger and libertarian sites.

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:07 am

I think meta got banned from Breitbart's sites. But somehow I don't think Spanky will feel that is equivalent to his banning from Wonkette.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

Gawd, me too! You know when you see those red pees that the posters are fighting the good fight, or at least raising the blood pressure, of those in the fevered swamps of the teatardlicans. Go red pees!

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

I am shallow and vain and am so proud of my 113 p score, I don't want to lose any pees.

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

I used to play a game where I would see how many downfists I could collect strictly on the power of correcting factual inaccuracies (and occasionally citing bible passages at them), and nothing else. No opinion, no analysis, no synthesis, just the unvarnished facts themselves. Point being, apparently over on Breitbart, injecting reality is itself a form of trolling.

I also found out that one of my favorite internet movie critics was spending his time doing the same, by all appearances. Probably more fun that arguing with the lunatics, fascists, and Australians that hung out in his own site's forums, quitefrankly.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 10:34 am

They do have their own fountains… they are called rivers, streams and lakes… at least with Rick they will be more able to use them as they wish.
FREEDOM!

JustPixelz August 24, 2011 at 11:36 am

I think those corporate citizens should pay taxes the way we humans do: on gross income, minus a few deductible expenses, and a few tax credits.

Also, corporation people can't sign contracts until they're 18.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Since their income is at truly GROSS levels, they ought to pay a commensurate tax.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm

If Rick hadn't already filled them full of cow and pig effluent and sold toll rights on them to Saudi Arabia.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 24, 2011 at 9:55 am

No more shall corporations be dragged behind the pickup trucks of big government!!!11!
~

CapeClod August 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

Actually, I could get behind sending a lynch mob around to AIG and stringing up a few executives by their power ties. Might send a message to the rest of the corporate swine.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 10:35 am

Let's go… I'll drive… I could probably pull 40 or 50. They are pretty heavy.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I've always favoured that method of dealing with the worst of the corporate swine. However, there is a tendency for things to get, shall we say, out of hand? When every lamp-post in the public square sports a banker or other tycoon of the business world, what is to differentiate Left philosophy from Right? It's only the party affiliation of the lamp ornaments that changes.

Negropolis August 25, 2011 at 1:10 am

Can you allow us a moment – a single moment, – of inappropriate/sardonic/ironic humor? Thanks.

Lucidamente1 August 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

Well, the Martin Luther King Memorial is being dedicated next week. I'm sure Gov. Perry will have some inspiring words of fucktardery.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:01 pm

He gives me the same cringing feeling Dubya always did — that certain knowledge that somehow, this grinning fucktard will manage to find, with all the learning of millennia at his back, the precise combination of words, symbols, and sounds to piss off, injure, and offend the largest number of people possible.

Clancy_Pants August 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

Who's the skank in the brown dress? America needs to extend the civil rights battle to the battle against triceps flop.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:02 am

Those are Bingo arms, when you shout "Bingo" and wave and the flesh wobbles. Also known as "Hi Jane" arms. I think that is Mrs. Perry, poor thing.

NorthStarSpanx August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

Michele Obama arms they ain't.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:19 am

Neither are mine, to be honest, but at least mine have some definition.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:04 pm

That's TWO-L Michelle to you, dood. Ol One-L Michele, the BatShitKrayZMann woman, has the bingo flobble. I was surprised, being as she's actually quite tiny and doesn't seem to have spare flesh anywhere else. (Nice legs for an old broad.)

"Flobble": a portmanteau word combining the worst of "flop" and "wobble," invented this very day by yours truly.

AJWjr. August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

Bingo wings, we call 'em out here in the land of casinos and bingo parlors.
Is Mrs. Perry some kinda beard?

SpurningBeer August 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Like a top-heavy manic flamingo,
She stood up, shook her arms, and yelled "Bingo!"
We gaped at her, rapt,
As her upper arms flapped;
They were bingo wings. (Such is the lingo.)

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 10:29 am

That is deliciously cruel. Many upfists to you.

Doesn't Frau Perry look like she has an affinity for the bottle? Her eyes keep scanning the crowd: where's that open bar they said they were gonna have?

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:35 am

She probably has to drink a la Pat Nixon, it must be hell to be married to a blowhard.

prommie August 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I was thinking that from the first time I saw the picture. She probably didn't sign on to be a beard.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

Mrs. Perry. AKA "The Beard".

DustBowlBlues August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

WTF does his wife, (I take it that's what the woman in the sleeveless dress– always a mistake in my age group– to stay cool in spite of the heat but in dark brown to make sure she is still absorbs as much sun as possible) with the Rodeo Queen big hair have on her wrists? And really, couldn't she wear sunglasses? If she looks as frowzy as the does, it might be a big improvement. And being the wife of a GOP candidate, she'd be free to pop for a $2K pair of Gucci's (I'm pulling the stats on designer eyeglasses out of my ass) because it's simply supporting the "job creators".

buffalogal August 24, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Is that the lovely Mrs. Perry? Is there a Mrs. Perry?

Poindexter718 August 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

Alright then, you fekkin' hickoid, deal: We go back to civil rights-era marginal tax rates.

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 10:30 am

Let's see: top individual rate was 93 percent; corporate rate was 48 percent. Sounds good to me.

SorosBot August 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

We have to end the horrible oppression that government has placed on corporations, like enabling them to control every aspect of our lives.

Attila_T_Hun August 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

Who is that woman? If she's his wife, he definitely has a mistress or two.
And I wouldn't blame him.

SorosBot August 24, 2011 at 10:10 am

Mistress? That's the wrong gender.

hollywooddood August 24, 2011 at 10:16 am

She definitely needs a better bra. It looks like she wears a 38 extra long.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:36 am

As a , fairly, firm 34 G , I applaud you!

prommie August 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm

VaVaVa Vooom!

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:07 pm

AH-WOOT! Oh, my. That's, um, quite a double-handful there, Lizzie.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I have porn-star tits, except they are all-natural , a gift from God, if you will.

hilbillyheroine August 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

What are you suggesting? Jesus somehow hates FAT, FLABBY BLEACHED BLONDES? Bigot.

x111e7thst August 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

Rick? Drink piss or die.

GunToting[Redacted] August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

Why not both?

NorthStarSpanx August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

OMG, I was looking for a headline about a major city having to treat piss for drinking water and found this:
http://www.kochmembrane.com/mww_overview.html

I would pay to not have Koch and Membrane in the same product – something for the twins to consider.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Now he's gonna think you're all hitting on him.

x111e7thst August 25, 2011 at 7:13 am

There is not enough bleach in the world

Come here a minute August 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

One day Grover Norquist's memorial will join the ranks of Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, FDR, and MLK in the heart of our nation's capital. The difference is that the memorial to Norquist will be the crumbling of all the other memorials due to an unfunded park service along with the dismantling of the rest of Western civilization.

DustBowlBlues August 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

This is so excellent. Kudos to you, Sir or Madame.

genxr August 24, 2011 at 10:29 am

Pockmarked from the stray bullets of countless people defending their freedom.

Lascauxcaveman August 24, 2011 at 12:06 pm

And hunting dogs/cats/people for food so they don't starve.

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:39 am

In the new era of prosperity, there will be no taxes! The only government service will be the Armed Forces and they will pay for themselves.

(Somehow this originally ended up under a different comment – oops)

V572 T-Blow August 24, 2011 at 11:02 am

Screw the Mall, let's put Grover on Mount Rushmore!

chicken_thief August 24, 2011 at 11:30 am

And just leave him there.

OC_Surf_Serf August 24, 2011 at 9:59 am

God is now a Corporation [Yahweh {and Son(s)} Inc.]

Time for His retail outlets to pay taxes…

weejee August 24, 2011 at 10:10 am

Given it's a family biz probly an LLC, limited liability company, rather than the Inc. Less paperwork, less ink than the Inc.

hilbillyheroine August 24, 2011 at 10:11 am

Hagee? Osteen? Warren? Pay taxes? LOLOL These "Christian" organizations will NEVER..EVER.. pay taxes. ReligaCORP does NOT pay taxes. Welcome to Ameristan.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 11:00 am

Taxes?

Separation of church and state!!!

DaSandman August 24, 2011 at 10:03 am

This pig is such a shameless whore he makes Brisket look like Mother Theresa.

They have apparently now abandoned any sense of decency or shame.

johnnyzhivago August 24, 2011 at 10:56 am

Abandoned??? You mean they had it at one time?

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:04 am

Every time this tin cowboy drawls some asshatty comment about big Gubbmint ' and spendin' and over regulatin', he should be told; "Fine, give it back asshole. Give all the money back". And then he should be punched in the dick.

elviouslyqueer August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

And then he should be punched in the dick.

You'd have to remove it from the ass of his latest rentboy first.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:37 am

I volunteer to be the dick puncher.

Lascauxcaveman August 24, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I don't wanna touch him anywhere near his dick, but I'd be happy to administer a proper caveman-style throat punching.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Put on your spike-heeled boots and go with a short, sharp kick.

baconzgood August 24, 2011 at 10:04 am

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all companies are created equal."

I have a dream that my portfolio will one day live in a nation where it will not be judged by the investments in indiviual stocks and commodities but by the yield of it's quarterly profit statement.

Free market at last! free market at last! thank Wall Street Almighty, we are free at last.

DustBowlBlues August 24, 2011 at 10:14 am

Damn. These comments just get better and better. Good start to my day.

SpurningBeer August 24, 2011 at 10:16 am

People tell me that the snack foods and corn syrup are giving me a big ass. But that really doesn't matter to me now. I have been to the muffintop….

Dr_Zoidberg August 24, 2011 at 10:04 am

What gets me is the 'over-regulated' part. Because those poor corporations have been doing so badly with the regulations that are in place now, skimpy as they are.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:46 am

Yes. Sitting on mountains of $$ due to Obama's policies making for "uncertainty". And they say it over and over and over.

CapeClod August 24, 2011 at 10:05 am

There should be laws against the public torture of analogies like this one.

Pragmatist2 August 24, 2011 at 10:05 am

Wait until he announces that his reelection org is called The Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

Shorter Perry: Dear Jebus, rich people need more monies. Amen.
~

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 10:59 am

Shorter Perry: Dear Jebus, rich people need more monies so we'll just take it from Poor People Social Security, Medicare, etc, etc. Amen.

//fixed, for the Lord

tihond August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

Next up, Rick Perry will explain how not allowing corporations to make direct unlimited contributions to candidates is essentially a poll tax, and that we should no longer count corporations as only 2/3 of a person.

hilbillyheroine August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

Jesus died on the cross, for corporations. Jesus fucking HATED the poor, the sick, and the lame! Don't you libruls reeeeeeed yo Bah-Bulls?

EatsBabyDingos August 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

I don't go to the North side of town anymore. There's corporations in the shadows waiting to rob me. You know, those kind of corporations.

Chillwaver August 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

If Corporations are people too, wouldn't Jesus help Corporations help themselves?

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 10:58 am

Nowadays, Jesus is pretty busy, so corporations hire lobbyiests to help them!

JoshuaNorton August 24, 2011 at 10:09 am

WHO WILL THINK OF THE (ADULTS WITH THE MINDS OF) CHILDREN???

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

"…and a little enfant terrible shall bleed them…"

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Not me, that's fer shure. I'm sick and tired of their pooping on avery aspect of the human mindplace with their lardasses, their hoverounds, and their eternal wail of victimhood.

102415 August 24, 2011 at 10:10 am

Corporations shouldn't pay taxes because they are religious institutions. Look at the back of a $1000 bill. It's all there in coded symbols.

arihaya August 24, 2011 at 10:11 am

in Martin Luther King's honor, Rick Perry will commission a speech. It is called "I Have a Wet Dreams, of Corporations give me a gazillion of kickbacks for these shits"

prommie August 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

Pinhead closet case is from texas (nothing there but steers and queers) and Texas means oil, and noone on God's green earth hates environmental regulation more than oil drillers. Its just the very very narrow perspective of the industry that owns him. I am going to refer again to the pundit who said the only difference between the GOP and the Democrats is that the GOP is owned by the extraction industries and the Dems are owned by the financial industry.

Anywho, the EPA is the new Slavery, holding the poor drillers in slavery and bondage, and its time to abolish it.

x111e7thst August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

I could be interested in a hot blonde in bondage. Most drillers simply do not qualify.

mog253 August 24, 2011 at 10:54 am

Since TX is rated as having the worst emission/pollution problems in the country, he has to stay to the right of regulation AND global warming – or he'll have to give up the entire state.

FakaktaSouth August 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

This here also qualifies as one of the "both sides" theory we've seen so frequently also. Why won't the media ever say that he is demanding less regulations at a time where regulations have never been more lax and taxes have never been easier to avoid for corporations? Presenting this as a fight at ALL is HILARIOUS, much less comparing it to actual "civil" rights. What about my right not to be poisoned by your corporations there Rick?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 1:38 pm

"What about my right not to be poisoned by your corporations there Rick?"

Where's that in the Constitution? Huh?

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Even the Very Reasonable, Adult, Adored-By_The-Meejyuh Candidate Jon Huntsman has railed against the bondage of the EPA.

baconzgood August 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

You know the GOP used to have 2 different and distinct types of ass holes. The Right Wing Holy Roller/Culture War Ass Holes and the Greedy Corporate Tool Ass Holes. But now praying for lower corporate taxes…..It's like they amalgamated into Super Hibrid Ass Holes. And it really scares the living piss out of me.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:30 am

Or quite simply, as my personal description on my avatard used to be; Republicans are assholes.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Ah, yes. The Godbag vs. Greedbag Theory. It's actually still valid. It's just that, thanks to the stranglehold of the Godbags, the Greedbags now have to spout their religioid bullshit to get through the tryouts.

neiltheblaze August 24, 2011 at 10:14 am

Will somebody please come up with a sex tape or something so we can kneecap this motherfucking creep?

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 11:04 am

He'll just play the old,"That was a long time ago and I have since dedicated my life to God and this country" card… "Cuz that's what maggots do.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Isn't he already doing that quite successfully with "his" book and its screed on ending Social Security?

hollywooddood August 24, 2011 at 10:14 am

Somebody needs to knock the dick out of his stupid mouth.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 11:04 am

Or down his throat!

Monsieur_Grumpe August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

I feeling a little bigoty today.

DashboardBuddha August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

wow…I thought whoring would be, you know, more sexy?

horsedreamer_1 August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

Rick likes to think of himself as a Rosa Parks for the sake of Monsanto, but we all know his time on the back of the bus is much closer to one of Wesley Willis's demon hell-rides.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 10:16 am

"It is just like Civil Rights… all corporations have the right to be in the EXTREME black."

prommie August 24, 2011 at 10:17 am

You have to understand that to the industry that owns Perry, any law that prevents them from doing anything that could make them a nickle is THEFT, its the gubmint stealing from them what is rightfully theirs. Its a violation of their civil rights. They could make another dollar, if they were allowed to pump cyanide into the reservoir! They could make another dollar, if they could just throw mine tailings any old where. They could make another dollar, if they didn't have to provide a somewhat safe workplace. The government is stealing their dollars they could have made! The government is holding them down, keeping them back, enslaving them, its just like slavery and Jim Crow, I tells ya.

Buckminster August 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Gee, prommie, it sounds like where I live in Butte, MT, home of the largest Superfund site in the U.S. We have watched corporate asshattery all of our lives.

MrFizzy August 24, 2011 at 10:18 am

Get back on the Craven Bus, Rick, and make sure you get a front seat.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 10:57 am

They make CEOS sit in back of their private jets?

weejee August 24, 2011 at 10:18 am

10 gallon hat on a half pint head once again. What is with "Murica's love affair with intellectually-challenged Tejasicans?

prommie August 24, 2011 at 10:27 am

None of Amurrica's heros has ever been much of an intellectual. John Wayne's characters, Arnold Schwarzenegger's, Stallone's, hell, Eastwood's Dirty Harry couldn't even count how many bullets he fired. Thats the archetypical Amurrican hero, grunty, quiet, dumb, but he beats things up and shoots things down.

SorosBot August 24, 2011 at 10:45 am

But we do have Spider-Man, Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic – most of the Marvel superheroes are intellectuals of some sort. Not DC's though.

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 11:08 am

But… Batman? I am Batman…

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Atticus Finch.

kissawookiee August 24, 2011 at 10:19 am

Individualism, a never-ending quest for profit, exalting temporal and material power as a sign of divine favor… I dunno, but Rick Perry's prosperity gospel leanings sound a fuckload more like Satanism than anything I ever heard came outta Jeebus' mouth.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Heh heh heh.

Chet Kincaid August 24, 2011 at 1:53 pm

What more does the guy have to do to prove he's The Beast? Skeet-shoot King James Bibles? Throw a Texas barbecue on Good Friday? He's already Greatly Deceived all the hardcore Believers. Aim your smartphone at the QR code on the Perry campaign bus to see the Apocalypse!!

donner_froh August 24, 2011 at 10:20 am

All of his stuff is so outrageous its hard to get outraged anymore. Perry should get caught in a cattle stampede.

An_Outhouse August 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm

or caught in a stampede of cattle prods.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Hopefully, all the cattle will have explosive diarrhea.

Freedom for Maryland August 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

They deliberately forget that….

SpurningBeer August 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

Don't render unto Caesar a denarius more than you can get away with.

natoslug August 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

When Perry and the corporations he is whoring for have been firehosed, attacked by German Shepherds, beaten by corrupt police and lynched by an angry mob, I'll listen to his comparisons. Until then, he can shut the fuck up. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE, BESIDES EVERYTHING????????

donner_froh August 24, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Perfectly said.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Um, everything *else*?

MrFizzy August 24, 2011 at 10:22 am

Good article in Post this morning about how during Perry's administration Texas has executed 200-some convicted criminals. Regardless of what someone might think of the death penalty, you have to wonder if all 200+ plus were definitely guilty, and if the great state of texas was truly diligent in pursuing evidence. I remember reading a while back that the brilliant legal scholar Alberto "Corn Chip" Gonzales would give W sloppy, one-page opinions on whether to block executions when Bushy was governor. Plenty of killin' back in those days too.

prommie August 24, 2011 at 10:32 am

Bloodiest governor ever in the history of the USA, I beleive I heard.

Duly_Noted August 24, 2011 at 10:46 am

Just what Muricah needs, another mass-murderer in the White House.

SorosBot August 24, 2011 at 10:47 am

There's at least one who was pretty conclusively proven not guilty. Didn't matter to the Texas courts or Rick Perry, and he was killed anyway.

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2011 at 11:19 am

SB: I believe the New Yorker had a (long, of course) article about that very sad case. Who would have thought Texas could have a governor worse than George Bush? And, apparently, dumber?

kissawookiee August 24, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I am really looking forward to the presidential debate in which he has to answer a question on that one. If for no other reason than to witness the brazen fuckery he's going to let loose while ignoring the question.

spinozasgod August 24, 2011 at 10:56 am

it isn't quantity that's important, it's quality……were most of them non-white variety?

MrFizzy August 24, 2011 at 11:08 am

Well they're criminals aren't they?

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Oh, come now. As if that question actually needed to be asked.

mog253 August 24, 2011 at 10:56 am

Had to clear out the jails so he can rent out cells to CA.

Allmighty_Manos August 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

The best part of being an activist in the CEO civil rights movement is that you can afford to hire other people to do sit ins for you.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 10:56 am

You know, it's hard to find good help these days willing to get beat up by a bunch of racist, southern goons in order to stand up for your right to rape, pillage and loot Planet Earth….

horsedreamer_1 August 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

I think this is further evidence of Rick's need to be "more Catholic than the Pope". He's a Johnny-come-lately GOP, the first forty years of his life with a D behind him, so to avoid hoots of "RINO!" he has to be more Conservative than Conservative.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 9:44 pm

"has to be" = "chooses to be"

deanbooth August 24, 2011 at 10:25 am

The purpose of the 14th amendment, after all, is to preserve the rights of corporations.

"Yet, of the cases in this Court in which the Fourteenth Amendment was applied during the first fifty years after its adoption, less than one-half of 1 per cent. invoked it in protection of the negro race, and more than 50 per cent. asked that its benefits be extended to corporations." — Hugo Black

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:45 am

I'm sure Scalia could explain to you how that was totally the intent of Congress when the Amendment was passed.

Original intent FTW!

deanbooth August 24, 2011 at 10:55 am

Advice to Scalia: Once Hugo Black, you never go back!

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2011 at 10:25 am

Rick Perry and Pat Robertson together completes the sordid picture. I'm imagining the glinty-eyed one, our reigning Whore of Babble-on, caressing the locks of Ricky the Lionhearted in their den of Thieves.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 11:14 am

Thanks a lot for that. And I'm fresh out of brain bleach, dammit.

Serolf_Divad August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

Fortunately so far God usually clicks “delete” when He gets Rick Perry’s daily prayer spam.

I'm pretty sure God TIVO's Perry's prayers so he can play them back when he's off duty and have a good and laugh.

skoalrebel August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

Did Perry just call corporations niggers? [spit]
I thought he liked corporations.

Goonemeritus August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

There is no way I will eat at a lunch counter with Halliburton

DaRooster August 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

Hey Ricky… you can't even make it rain… how the fuck can you be president?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 11:17 am

You know the Fundietards will claim victory the moment the next rainstorm hits Texas — even if it doesn't happen until next April.

genxr August 24, 2011 at 10:31 am

Less regulation, like that bloated regulation bill of 1964, telling private corporations who they can and cannot serve at the lunch counter!

Yes, we can all be proud of the civil rights movement in this country. Especially white southern conservatives, who have made the most progress.

horsedreamer_1 August 24, 2011 at 10:32 am

Tim Scott & Allen West resemble this remark.

henrypuppyhead August 24, 2011 at 10:37 am

At this rate reinstating slavery will be a teatard platform piece. But they'll be real fair and make sure poor people of every color get a chance to be flogged. I guess that makes the teatards the Uncle Toms of this whole movement.

102415 August 24, 2011 at 10:58 am

I just finished two days of arguments with a band of paultards where states rights were the answer to everything and I do mean everything. They get real mad however if you mention slavery or abortion or the Supreme court. Real mad.
Go figure

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 11:23 am

Because no state would ever ban miscegenation, or integration, or birth control, or sodomy. (Supreme Court cases, every one.)

Their assumption is that every state will respect every right of every person, according to libertardian principles. Which rather begs the question, "Why then do we need individual states' rights?"

102415 August 24, 2011 at 11:30 am

It stops them dead alright. I could not get them to say the words Supreme Court. Could it be they haven't after all these years been issued the talking points on the subject? Or worse?

bflrtsplk August 24, 2011 at 10:40 am

When they came for the corporations only Rick Perry stood up and was pelted with rotten fruit and veggies from the outsourced workers of Uhmerrikka.

weejee August 24, 2011 at 10:41 am

Just to set the record straight Ricky, the current recession is not the fault of over-regulation. Rather it is the fault of an under-regulated gaggle of of greedy Wall Street bankers running a Ponzi scam that included several variations of whole cloth fabrications called mortgage derivatives. If there was (a) justice (Douglas), the perps would be dragged from their Wall Street ivory towers into the streets, shot, and their respective families billed for the cost of the ammunition (a tip of the hat to our new Chinese masters).

Ricky, perhaps we could understand you better if you didn't have the cocks of so many of your masters in your mouth at one time.

/ 'scusies tl;dr, but weejee is tres pissed.

HistoriCat August 24, 2011 at 10:48 am

Might I suggest we save the ammunition and hang them instead? That way we can leave them hanging from lampposts as a warning for other Wall Streeters. We can still bill the families for the rope.

fartknocker August 24, 2011 at 10:41 am

When Gubnor Douchebag PrettyHair speaks about Jesus, religion, and prayer I remind my conservative and liberal friends that going to Church doesn't make you more Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Clancy_Pants August 24, 2011 at 10:42 am

Neither Dick nor the Missus photograph well from the right side.

elviouslyqueer August 24, 2011 at 10:50 am

Oh, I dunno. I see two medium-sized boobs standing next to one huge one, so yay accuracy?

neiltheblaze August 24, 2011 at 10:53 am

At least irony is not yet dead.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

What intrepid photographer ventured to the right of Perry? That's scary territory.

EatsBabyDingos August 24, 2011 at 10:49 am

Strong is the stupid in this one.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 10:54 am

Why is it when people get together to form a government, they are inheritantly evil, and need to be constrained?

But when people get together to form a corporation, then no constraints are magically needed?

JUST LET CORPORATIONS DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT….

johnnyzhivago August 24, 2011 at 10:55 am

Who will defend our helpless multinational corporations against these greedy poor people?

Doktor Zoom August 24, 2011 at 10:58 am

Whatsoever you did for the greatest of these corporate entities, that you did for Me.

BTWBFDIMHO August 24, 2011 at 11:01 am

I have a profitable dream this afternoon!

James Michael Curley August 24, 2011 at 11:01 am

No More Taxes Texans!

James Michael Curley August 24, 2011 at 11:05 am

And Ghandi's March to the Sea was just like eliminating the Capital Gains Tax.

SayItWithWookies August 24, 2011 at 11:13 am

Rick Perry is definitely doing The LORD's work — he's busy helping those who help themselves.

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2011 at 11:38 am

That belongs right up there with "The Lord loves a cheerful giver grifter."
Speaking of helping oneself to greener pastures — had you seen Virginia's education Secretary pretty much hiked on out of here soon as Rick Scott's admin greased his palms? New VA Sec. of Ed sworn in yesterday. It doesn't exactly behoove the gov's own recent appointment as a regional educational board overseer.. but maybe I hold elected leaders to different standards than most.

SayItWithWookies August 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm

How very odd. Odder still that someone would want to be head of an education system that's already crummy when the governor just wants to make it worse. Who the hell would want that on their resume?

mrbubb August 24, 2011 at 11:17 am

If we need to be free from over-litigation, how about eliminating litigation of black people (and others) for petty drug crimes? That would reduce litigation, no?

a_pink_poodle August 24, 2011 at 11:20 am

We shall overcharge SOOOOOME DAAAAAAY!

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2011 at 11:33 am

Jim Hightower has been a leading voice against the corporate takeover of America. I highly recommend his newsletter and his website.

There's a saying among military historians that amateurs study tactics and professionals study logistics.

Anyone seriously interested in changing the United States for the better won't concentrate on horserace politics – important as that is. We have to address and correct this horrible trend of amoral corporations with eternal life taking over.

And – Memo to Gov. Perry – corporations in the US of A are not "over-taxed." This is another Tea-Bagger lie, started by the corporations seeking to keep their ill-gotten power. Half the corporations in America pay no Federal income tax. $0. Many keep profits overseas and use "brass plate headquarters" to avoid paying taxes.

Guppy06 August 24, 2011 at 11:36 am

In Texas, the Bibles, much like the science and history textbooks, are heavily edited, redacted and abridged.

subsum August 24, 2011 at 11:41 am

Rick Perry likes baby dick.

chicken_thief August 24, 2011 at 11:41 am

The Civil Rights Act of '64 was a good thing to Perry?! There goes any support from Rand Paul….

genxr August 24, 2011 at 11:42 am

Texas, Enough Already!

Buckminster August 24, 2011 at 11:42 am

"Rick Perry is a devious teabagger barbie doll who would kidnap Jesus and sell him as a sex slave to the zombie corpse of Stalin if it would win him the White House"

Kirsten, I bow to you.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 2:00 pm

What Kirsten meant to say was "…kidnap baby Jesus and sell him as a sex slave …"

Pretty much everybody here noticed that oversight, I'm sure.

JustPixelz August 24, 2011 at 11:45 am

he would be praying to end “government’s over-taxed, over-regulated, over-litigated” policies

Good luck with that Ricky Pee. God strictly follows the laws of nature and probability. He doesn't overturn democratically enacted laws. You may be thinking of Iran's Guardian Council, which rules whether laws conform to Sharia Law.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 10:34 pm

God even plays dice with the universe, Ricky.
Think about that as you put your string of 10 consecutive election wins on the line.

NowTheyTellMe August 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

"Freedom from quality, freedom from rules, freedom from inspections, freedom from oversight, freedom from penalties, freedom from restraint … freedom from … from … ah mean … *pant pant* … cain't you people see? Arbeit macht frei, god dammit! Now stop bitchin' an' git to work!"

thefrontpage August 24, 2011 at 11:54 am

Rick Perry denies the existence of Tuesday’s earthquake.

Meanwhile, Michelle Bachmann promised that she would reduce all future earthquakes to 2.9.

fuflans August 24, 2011 at 12:00 pm

to be fair, i would be happy to lynch AT&T, comcast and occasionally United.

Fox n Fiends August 24, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Behold: Ricky Perry's Sharia Law of Gravity

proudgrampa August 24, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Look, far be it from me to quote the bible. Long time Wonketteers know my views on religion and the fact that I am a recovering Southern Baptist.

But this dirt bag Perry is a prime example of what Jesus (whoever he was) was talking about in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector:

"And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: 10“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11“The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12‘I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13“But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ 14“I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

And that's that.

BlueStateLibel August 24, 2011 at 12:37 pm

They're not even TRYING anymore to disguise the whoring for Big Business and hatred for the masses anymore, are they?

BTW, here is a great audio bit from Jon Stewart on the Repubs wanting to further impoverish the poor: http://www.thenation.com/blog/162872/jon-stewart-

An_Outhouse August 24, 2011 at 1:00 pm

"Fortunately so far God usually clicks “delete” when He gets Rick Perry’s daily prayer spam."

and sometimes God clicks 'earthquake'.

Just saying.

owhatever August 24, 2011 at 2:07 pm

I notice he did not say that America is about Freedom. Just how them damned regalaters what jam laws and rules up the arses of megacorporations. Something is very wrong with this noodle brain…which qualifies him for the GOP nomination.

glamourdammerung August 24, 2011 at 4:26 pm

If his prayers for corporations work half as well as his prayers for rain during the recent Texas fires/hellstorms, then corporations should be really, really nervous.

starfanglednut August 24, 2011 at 5:52 pm

OK Rick, I'm sure you'd be willing to ride a bus into some town where everybody hates you ( like we do here in Boston), and get the living crap beat out of you or possibly murdered by cops for the corporations great struggle for equal rights. Woul'nt you?

Pres.Beeblebrox August 24, 2011 at 7:16 pm

What an asshole. LBJ, John Nance Garner, Sam Rayburn, and John Connally would have had him for lunch. What the fuck? How can a state that produced politicians like them spit out an actual clump of political fecal matter like Perry?

I mean, just try summarizing that sentence. "Blah blah yea, sure, Blacks wonderful, historic, freedom, pander for 10 seconds but ITS NOT FREE NOW FOR COMPANIES, ASSHOLE, AND IT NEEDS TO BE, SO FUCK YOURSELF AND ALLAH BLESS AMERICA."

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Here's the evidence that God deletes Rick Perry's prayers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaZDcS-rMf4&fe

HA! Rick Perry. HA! Republicans.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:42 pm

It's the public contemplation of the Mother of God's cunt that has them squirmishing.

Dashboard_Jesus August 25, 2011 at 12:15 am

well it worked for me, I'm feeling squirmishy just thinking of Mom's lovely labia (oh dear, afraid I just committed a sin there…oh ell I forgive me :)

MichelesPantalones August 25, 2011 at 12:29 am

It's good to be in charge of Forgiving Sins, isn't it?

Barrelhse August 24, 2011 at 11:29 pm

She's fat.

zhubajie August 25, 2011 at 12:10 am

Perry (and Robertson) worships the Devil. Who was it offered all the kingdoms of the world to Jesus?

KenLayIsAlive August 26, 2011 at 5:47 pm

The guy who owns Starbucks?

Negropolis August 25, 2011 at 1:02 am

So, civil rights, you know, the rights of people in their society equals corporate rights, right? I guess it all makes sense, though, since corporations are people, too.

Who will fight for these oppressed persons? Won't someone think of the corporations? Won't anyond think of the corporations?!

Negropolis August 25, 2011 at 1:04 am

First, they came for the blacks, and I said nothing, 'cause the blacks aren't really people, right? Then they came for the corporations, and I was all like "take your hands off of them, you damned, dirty apes!"

These fuckers are more tone deaf than an American Idol contestant. Lee Atwater isn't really dead, though, I wish his spirit would die, already. Everything just keeps getting both and curiously more and more outrageous and more and more subtle. It's not so much about attacking "others" from the front, now, but co-opting and thus insulting their historic progressive movements and accomplishments.

KenLayIsAlive August 26, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I just wish they'd all feel that crippling sense of utter and total regret at the end of their pathetic, wasted lives that he did.

ghblowhard August 25, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Who would Jesus tax?

Porter Melmoth August 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Look at that man! I tell you, Ronald Reagan LIVES. The same noble chest, the same enlightened, Alzheimers-prone brow!

Such news will surely make Nancy take another spill.

ttommyunger August 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm

FINALLY! Someone with balls enough to take on the Common American Worker. You go, Ricky!

horsedreamer_1 August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil, NBCUniversalComcast, TimeWarnerTurner&forashorttimeAOL, & Seagram's concur.

Fare la Volpe August 24, 2011 at 10:29 am

And for only a modest hand-touching fee.

north_of_moscow August 24, 2011 at 10:31 am

Whenever I think of Perry and those poor obscenely rich executives, arm in arm in a prayer circle, singing "We shall overcome," I get all teary.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 24, 2011 at 11:06 am

… and be judged not by the odor of their sins, but by the quality of their bottom lines.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2011 at 10:28 am

It appears as though you've given up fisting, joe! ☺ Your pee is a healthy, asparagus green.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2011 at 10:48 am

and maybe this on the other hand.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knuckle_duster

mumbly_joe August 24, 2011 at 10:49 am

Yeah, I mostly let it go, correcting misinformation on Breitbart was like shooting low-hanging barrelfish in a fruit tree of idiocy. Less for my pee than for my blood pressure, though- there's only so much vicious racism and eliminationist innuendo punctuated by regular overt threats and justifications of violence I can deal with. Oh, and also the calls for race war. Can't forget the calls for race war. Seriously, Breitbart comments make Stormfront look subtle by comparison.

Makes metamarc's muslin soshulist jihad over there even more couragious, in my view.

SorosBot August 24, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Judaism probably came from a fusion of Baal and Zoroastrianism (where the monotheism comes from), just as Christianity added a lot of Aristotelian philosophy.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Well, the first so-called Christian churches were really a branch of Reformed Judaism, after all. It wasn't till Christianity moved its administrative/military headquarters to Rome that the Holy Roman Catholic Church was born.

Dashboard_Jesus August 25, 2011 at 12:17 am

Sweet Holy Mithra, I think you're onto something here?!

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Since the odour of their sins reeketh, verily, unto the highest heavens.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I don't know how anyone can stand to immerse themselves in those toxic levels of ignorance and hate. I'm pretty tolerant, being far to the left of anyone in my extended family, but I can't take more than a few minutes in that dump.

MichelesPantalones August 24, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Nice gifts! What did you have to give him in exchange?

Dashboard_Jesus August 25, 2011 at 12:18 am

well hell, if y'all ain't just a wealth of Christo-history!

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