Pentagon, National Cathedral Only Victims So Far In D.C. Earthquake

Wow, God's aim is getting sloppy these days: news reports indicate that so far the Pentagon and the National Cathedral, aka His military and His crib, were the only significant locations to have sustained damage in Washington, D.C. following the exotic 5.9-magnitude earthquake that hit shortly before 2 pm ET. CNN reports that "a considerable amount of water" is flooding two corridors of the Pentagon, while the AP reports that stones fell off the National Cathedral and the central tower appears to be leaning. Satan's favorite dive bar spots the Capitol and the White House, however, look from this MSNBC video like they're in pretty good shape. Has someone checked in on Satan's other favorite hangouts, our nation's aging nuclear reactors and Wall Street?

From CNN:  

Dominion Generation, which operates the North Anna nuclear power station in central Virginia a few miles from the epicenter of the earthquake, is trying to reach operational staff at the plant, according to a company spokesman. Landlines to the plant appear to be down.

Shortly after the quake struck, traders in the New York Stock Exchange also felt the quake and shouted to each other, "Keep trading!" CNN's business correspondent Alison Kosik reported from the floor at 2: 20 p.m. E.T.

Hm, okay, well we hope someone gets hold of the nuclear reactor people soon. Wall Street we don't really need to hear from ever again. [ ABC News / CNN / AP ]