BREAKING: God Tries To Swallow Godless East Coast With Earthquake

Haha, Rick Perry's prayers ALMOST WORKED THAT TIME. A magnitude 5.9 earthquake originating in Virginia tried to shake apart the East Coast, including godless gay liberal New York and just plain godless Washington. Your very own Wonkette felt this crazy-long quake but automatically assumed it was just the giant trucks passing by the ramshackle hovel called home yet again. We are still here, neener! You will have to try harder next time, God and Rick Perry.

From ABC News:  

A 5.9 earthquake struck in Virginia Tuesday afternoon and was felt up and down the east coast.

The Pentagon and Capitol Building were evacuated as a precaution.

The quake struck 94 miles away from Mineral, Virginia, and was felt in New York City.

Government buildings in the city, including City Hall, were evacuated. The 26-story federal courthouse in lower Manhattan began swaying and hundreds of people were seen leaving the building. Court officers weren't letting people back in.

Lord & Taylor on Fifth Avenue was also evacuated.

[ ABC News ]