sue everybody

Court Rules Teachers Still Allowed to Mention Creationism Is Ridiculous

gorilla jeebus approves of court ruling.In a stunning upset victory for common sense, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals threw out a lawsuit against a high school history teacher brought by one of his students who complained the teacher said in class that Creationism is “religious, superstitious nonsense.” In the Olden Daze this would have been the sort of moment where the student raises his hand and says, “I disagree with you, shall we discuss this?” but eh, someone’s homework assignment didn’t exactly get done last night, how about he sues for an injunction instead? No more homework from that sharia atheist teacher again, ever!

From the Orange County Register:

A federal appeals court on Friday tossed out a lower court’s ruling that Capistrano Valley High School teacher James Corbett violated a student’s constitutional rights by making comments disparaging to religion, saying Corbett could not have known he might be breaking the law.

The ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said laws regarding what a teacher can and cannot say about religion are insufficiently clear to indicate whether Corbett violated the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause, which courts have interpreted as prohibiting government officials from displaying religious hostility.

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“Nothing put Corbett on notice that his statements might violate the Establishment Clause. More to the point, we are aware of no prior case holding that a teacher violated the Establishment Clause by appearing critical of religion during class lectures, nor any case with sufficiently similar facts to give a teacher “fair warning” that such conduct was unlawful,” the ruling states.

The apes win again. [Orange County Register]

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303 comments

  1. SorosBot

    Oh great, next thing you know teachers will be allowed to tell high school students that Santa Claus is really their parents.

    1. LabRodent

      That explains why I saw mommy kissing him I just thought she did a little extra for the good toys. Thanks Soros, I better call mom and apologize.

    2. CapeClod

      Thanks for ruining Christmas forever! Now I'll be stuck celibrating that Festivus crap for the rest of my life.

    3. Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      Whoa, whoa, that's just your opinion, man. Both sides of the Santa issue should be taught and let the kids decide. I mean, Dec 25th happens and toys show up. How do you explain it, pinhead?

      1. mog253

        I know my parents couldn't afford all that stuff. Leave me to my illusions. Or are they delusions? I'll ask the voices.

    1. poncho_pilot

      oh? your dog ate your homework, huh? you know what else your dog ate last night? that's right: your mom.

  2. Barb

    The teacher should fail this student and mark their final exam with an "F" and the comment "you make the baby Jesus cry"

    1. SaintRond

      I live in Mexico City, where for my birthday I hired a pinata maker to make me a big paper mache head of Jesus looking Heavenward with a crown of thorns on his head and painted tears. She was crying when she made the thing, but she needed the money really bad to feed her children and felt she was selling her soul for pocket change. Then when we hoisted up the Jesus pinata and beat it, the children were so happy to see candy come out of it's eyes. If I were that teacher, I'd hang pinatas up in class, right over that little bastard's head.

      1. V572 T-Blow

        Thank you for sharing that beautiful Christmas story with us. And by the way, its papiér-mache.

    2. Terry

      In grad school at Texas A&M, I had the great pleasure of grading exams for a science for non-majors class. Most of the students in class were there for their Mrs degree with less emphasis on a bachelors. Regularly, these dingbats would give a one sentence answer to essay questions. "My minister says I don't have to answer this question." I tried to explain that you should understand what you think is wrong, that that would allow you to know exactly what you are against. No dice. The real issue was that these young ladies spent most of their time on hair, makeup, preparing for parties, and attending parties. Studying came up short and that response was a way out of getting a question wrong. The professor didn't agree with me. He was an old coot and when I'd give a girl a zero for that answer, she'd go to his office and flirt with him and he'd give her full credit "for standing up for her values". Yeah, that wasn't the only thing standing up….

        1. Terry

          There are good programs there, engineering for instance. But if the child of a prominent or wealthy Texas family wants to help out their underachieving offspring a wee bit, they certainly can. I suspect, however, you can say that about certain of the Ivies, as well.

          Texas A&M is a deeply weird place and the hardcore types seem to have a complete lack of self awareness.

          1. Terry

            …or how an undergrad guy with a sword chased me when I was cutting across some grass during my first week.

          2. V572 T-Blow

            If it was anything like the Agricultural Training Institute in West Lafayette Indiana, where I suffered 4 years in the 60s, there could never have been enough.

      1. Terry

        If you all liked THAT story, I have a better one. A biology professor at A&M told me that I am not a Homo sapien because my family is Irish and Slavic. Only people from England, France, Germany, and the Scandinavian countries are Homo sapiens. The rest of humanity is at least one other species. Oh, and the definition of species should be changed to fit his world view.

        I wish I was kidding about that.

        I told other profs about what he said and they insisted he must have been testing me, until he said it to me again in front of another prof. He announced his retirement within a couple weeks.

        1. not that Dewey

          So, the "one drop rule" doesn't apply to branches of hominid evolution? You should have whipped out your Certificate of Sapiens Blood and proved that you were at least 1/1,000,000,000,000 human.

        2. SorosBot

          And here I thought the believers in the old-timey racism, in which only WASPs counted as white, had died out decades ago.

          1. Terry

            On the plus side, I win most contests over the worst thing done or said by a member of a grad committee.

        3. Tundra Grifter

          Terry:

          It's probably not a good idea for college professors to get their research from Wikipedia.

        4. MichelesPantalones

          Holy quacking duckshit. A biology professor.

          I think I just officially started drinking again.

          Could he have been suffering from any kind of mental defect or disease?

      2. Ramon X

        Many years ago there was a Rolling Stone cover story called Invasion Of The Ignoroids complete with aliens in tin-foil outfits. I didn't think much about it at the time.

  3. DemonicRage

    When Rick Perry is President, he will invite the offending teacher to Texas, where the teacher will be treated "Texas style." Prolly a lynching or cluster f**k by booted guys in tight Levis, who like to drink beer and line dance.

    1. jus_wonderin

      "cluster f**k by booted guys in tight Levis, who like to drink beer and line dance."

      That's a wild Rick Perry Saturday Night!

    2. mog253

      Gods and Guns, that's what our country was founded on, at least according to the song I heard yesterday.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Hurray for (un)common sense.

    As for the butt hurt religoid and his/her parents (who were even more butt hurt), I would have to say that science has more than a slight edge over the ramblings of 1800 year old Semitic Shepherds (who stole the whole Genesis myth from the Babylonians who originally stole it from Sumerians) when it comes to knowledge about the universe.

  5. philpjfry

    Wow, teachers actualy able to teach the science without teaching religon so as not to offend the morons. What could be next? That there are more elements than earth, air, fire and water? It is sad that this is the exception rather than the rule.

    1. JustPixelz

      "…there are more elements than earth, air, fire and water…"

      Every parent knows the four elements are:
      1) things that will poke your eye out
      2) things you'll choke on
      3) poisons
      4) things that will be impossible to clean

      1. DustBowlBlues

        Fie on you. I'm late to the party and was going to post something about humors and the biology class. Now you've ruined it for me.

        Are you proud of yourself, young man or young woman or old fart, or whatever you are?

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Which they will extend into some decision allowing, nay, requiring the President to establish a Cabinet position of Christian Authority (whose sole mission will be to create and enforce rules allowing corporations to claim religious tax-exempt status for any and all operations, because Jesus favors the rich, obviously).

      1. MichelesPantalones

        Dammit. Did Clarence leave those papers out where Ginny could read 'em? I knew she'd leak the plan, that big-mouthed sow.

      2. Rotundo_

        Making the kind of money those greedy fucks make must be like a religious experience: By the power of the AMEX card, I command a Bentley in azure blue. And kazam! there it is..

      3. tessiee

        "whose sole mission will be to create and enforce rules allowing corporations to claim religious tax-exempt status for any and all operations"

        Why would they need a religious exemption? Aren't corporations already tax-exempt and liability-exempt for everything they do anyway?

      1. DahBoner

        Jesus didn't make wine, fishes and loafs appear outta thin air–he just put them on the company AMEX card…

      2. flamingpdog

        Christco? I buy my Bibles by the 24-pack there. And the cost of the membership card is tax-deductible!

  6. WhatTheHolyHeck

    But if he'd said it was okay to be gay, his ass would be out that door faster than you can say "Tenure schmenure."

      1. SorosBot

        Not if that belief is creationism, though. When someone asserts something that's just plain wrong, teachers should straight up tell them that no, it's not true; whether it's a religious belief or not.

        1. Swampgas_Man

          I thought the Xtians insisted Creationism was a "Science" not a religion, thus allowing them to teach it in secular schools. Either/or, morans; Either it's a "Science" and the teach can mock it as much as astrology, or it's Religion and the student should keep it to himself.

      2. HistoriCat

        Possibly. Would a flat "creationism is not based on any real world evidence and has no standing in a science class" been more appropriate?

        1. ShaveTheWhales

          Well, that would be more "PC", but in fact creationism is (1) "religious" and (2) "nonsense". You could argue that the use of "superstitious" was ill-advised because it implied that religion = superstition, and was therefore redundant.

      3. SayItWithWookies

        Telling somebody he's wrong — especially in science class — is a teacher's obligation. If some idiot wants to believe superstitious nonsense, facts aren't going to stop them anyway.

      4. V572 T-Blow

        It could be that what the kid (and the kid's lawyers) perceived as "humiliation" was only the result of applying rational scrutiny to previously unexamined religious beliefs. Which is what education is all about, right?

        Although I looked at the story and the guy does look like a dick.

        1. tessiee

          "It could be that what the kid (and the kid's lawyers) perceived as "humiliation" was only the result of applying rational scrutiny to previously unexamined religious beliefs."

          One of my college professors (not in the context of either science or religion) asked the class something that I've never forgotten:

          "If your positions are indefensible, why hold them?"

      5. hollywooddood

        All through school many of my teachers were dickish, as well. They were assholes, too. Maybe the kid should just get used to it. If he thinks this is bad, wait until he gets into the workplace.

        1. MichelesPantalones

          I've always said school prepares children for the real world. In the real world, people don't give a fuck who you are, what you do, or what you think. Insofar as they interact with you, they would like you to do whatever it is that brought you together and get the hell out as soon as you're done. Whether that "whatever" is work, business, social projects, or what-all. They really don't want to hear how wonderful your kid is, because they think theirs is more so. They really don't care if your wife is a bitch, your husband's an asshole, or you've just had a spiritual epiphany. Unless they're your friends and family, who kinda *have* to. So, yeah, the guy at the top of the heap pretty much decides what's what. Don't like it, go elsewhere. This business of mollycoddling the children is going way too far. Those of us who have to work for a living then get to deal with your Precious, who's not used to hearing "the N-word" ("No," for those who don't).

          1. tessiee

            "In the real world, people don't give a fuck who you are, what you do, or what you think."

            I wish that everybody who I've ever worked with, or for, knew this.

      6. Negropolis

        I think if it's totally unprovoked, but I'm of the belief that if a student is being a dick to a teacher, a teacher is within his or her rights within their own classroom to be a dick right back if they so choose to. I've seen both dickish teachers and dickish students, and I think short of one bullying the other (and I have seen students bully teachers knowing there was very little they could legally do about it), people need to learn to role with the punches and give as good as they get.

    1. lumpenprole

      " superstitious, religious nonsense" cynically tarted up to sound as though it belongs in a science class.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Walt Disney may have been a right-wing tool, but Disneyland is still the one place in the world where I wear a huge smile all day long.

    2. flamingpdog

      I might be mistaken, but I was under the impression that Orange County was full of the descendants of Tom Joad and fellow Okies. Romanticized by Steinbeck, but they've come back to bite us in the butt.

      1. LettucePrey

        No, no, no, it was the Central Coast (Carmel/Salinas) that was romanticized by Steinbeck. The OC was romanticized by John Wayne, Richard Nixon, Bob Dornan, John G. Schmitz (Google him – you won't regret it), Mischa Barton, some hockey movie starring Emilio Estevez, and um, some guy who liked roller coasters.

        1. flamingpdog

          Thanx for the update, Lettuce. No need to Google Schmitz – I have enough oldz to remember him in the House. Him and his pervo-daughter, what a pair, eh? Speaking of what a pair, you have the only avatar at Wonkette that I have to pass my mouse over every time it appears in a post. Are you doing anything tonight?

      2. caitifty

        The OC is what happens when there's a world war and someone builds a couple of huge military bases on some formerly sparsely populated ranchland and a lot of the poor shmucks who were sent there to get training before running up beaches on small islands in the Pacific looked around and said 'wow, the weather here is way fucking better than in Iowa'. The combination of the military bases staying on after the war and a whole lot of mentally disturbed combat veterans moving there when discharged has made for some weirdly right-wing politics ever since.

  7. Indiepalin

    This travesty of a ruling, by the usual activist judges, will only be reversed when President Perry appoints Ken Ham as Surgeon General.

    1. coron4

      Yeah it's the 9th circuit where they are well known to toke up before getting down to the activist-judging business.

  8. LiveToServeYa

    Will no one speak up for the creation of the universe from Primordial Pasta by the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

  9. Mort_Sinclair

    I teach high school and my car bumper could get me fired if I lived anywhere other than Massachusetts, I suppose. I have a Flying Spaghetti monster "fish" on it. Waiting for the day some crackpot christian nutbag parent sees it….

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      Wow. You have my utmost respect for teaching kids all day long only to have them go home and let their parents undo everything.

    2. MichelesPantalones

      Sometimes I just want to fall to my knees and kiss the ground. The local high school is full of cars with the Darwinian EVOLVE fish on them. There's a few Christians of the "redwood tree up my ass" variety, but they're greatly outnumbered by the Jews, Buddhists, New Ageists, white Hindus, brown Hindus, Sikhs of both types, Muslims, Sufis, and gawd only knows what else.

  10. prommie

    It don't cost nothin to be nice. Teacher was an asshole. Could just as easily have said "ceationism is a religious belief, we don't study religious beliefs in this class, we study science, so you will be required to know the material even if you disagree." teachers humiliating kids for the beliefs that their parents drummed into their heads is assholish behavior, totally, completely, assholish. Last year my son had a jingoist war-loving, troop-supporting social studies teacher (my kid is 10) who jumped down my kid's throat for being anti-war. That behavior is assholish no matter which foot the shoe is on. No teacher should ever say to any child that the kids religion is "superstition" and "nonsense." Assholish.

    1. SorosBot

      He may have been an asshole in the way said it, but he still should have said, "creationism is wrong", because it is. Just like if a kid said the Earth was flat, a teacher should correct them, even if they believe it's flat for religious reasons.

      1. prommie

        Why? "Creationism is a religious belief, we are studying science" is the same thing, without the overt judgment and claim of superiority. Like I said, it don't cost nuthin to be nice. And the kid is less likely to feel beseiged by mean, arrogant, superior non-beleivers, which will only harden his beleifs, and strengthen that nasty case of paranoia most fundies have anyway.

        1. kissawookiee

          As a person whose civil rights are under constant assault by overtly judgmental and self-proclaimed superior believers, I couldn't give a rat's ass about whether this high school kid feels besieged or not. He's gonna feel that way no matter how "nicely" the teacher tells him that creationism is bullshit or, alternately, that he has to learn science no matter what he believes at home. Being nice to fundamentalists does nothing but make you a slightly easier doormat for them to wipe their feet on.

        2. ShaveTheWhales

          1. It was a history class.

          2. I generally agree with you that the adult should have been a little more neutral, but one thing missing from this story is context — i.e., what motivated the teacher to make the remark?

          3. Did you sue?

    2. Ruhe

      Well said. I suspect that this case demonstrates what is wrong with America, which is that deep down inside we all just loathe each other.

    3. LiveToServeYa

      As a confirmed, card-carrying Discordian of the Lower-Upper-Middle-Political-Schismatics, I uphold everyone's right to be right even when wrong.

        1. Swampgas_Man

          I had a middle school science(!) teacher who tried to get me into creationism. But he had the decency to do it after class when it wouldn't be on the test. Also he had his hands on my butt a lot.

    4. Geminisunmars

      I think your argument has merit, but bringing a law suit because someone is being mean and assholish would tie us all up in court forever. Perhaps your kid learned something about adults/teachers/everyone that was valuable. And the parents of that creationist kid had the opportunity to teach the kid something about turning his other cheek in a Xtian fashion. Or learning that not everyone will support his beliefs.

      1. walterhwhite

        In my experience, the people who feel they have to let everyone know how "Christian" they are and who feel it necessary to try to foist their ignornant beliefs on others are not likely to turn the other cheek.

        1. prommie

          Those who feel it necessary to call religion "superstition" are feeling it necessary to let people know how superior they are, too.

          1. friendlyskies

            Religion is, by definition, a superstition. Look up the word in any dictionary; it refers to a belief not based in reason or evidence. People call astrology a superstition all the time, which gets on my nerves but isn't necessarily because they have superiority complexes – it could be because they are Geminis and therefore naturally knowledgeable about the proper use of words.

        2. Geminisunmars

          I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that there are "Christians" who wouldn't embrace the notion of turning the other cheek. I am terribly disillusioned.

    5. DustBowlBlues

      The story I read between the lines on this was that a teacher had been hammered repeatedly with the creationism crap and finally became so irritated he spoke harshly and the kid gleefully went home to report to his sue-happy parents who probably got the money for court costs from some fundy religious group.

      I spent years in employee appeals and had a piece of advice for managers dealing with crazy, crazy people: When you are forced to deal with a lunatic through a rational process that the lunatic refuses to adhere to in any way, you will, eventually–no exceptions to this–lose your temper and blurt out something intemperate at best, crazy at worst. Said lunatic will pluck that one sentence our of context and use it to humiliate you back in that rational universe you are forced to live in.

      In simple terms, it's like a parent who finally says–or thinks–"Just go the fuck to sleep."

      1. Doktor Zoom

        Amen, and hallelujah! The original story notes that the student was indeed gunning for the teacher, claiming that he had made 22 "anti-Christian" remarks during the school year, of which the creationism comment was the most egregious alleged violation of the 1st amendment. If that fairly mild "superstitious nonsense" remark was the worst of them, the other 21 remarks were probably "anti-Christian" only in the mind of the student.

        I once had a student raise her hand and object when I quoted Carl Sagan's "we are made of star stuff" in a class–she said it was an attack on her creationist beliefs.

        1. SorosBot

          It was a European history class, maybe the "anti-Christian" remarks were suggesting that the Inquisition, the Crusades and the many Catholic-Protestant wars were bad things.

        2. GOPCrusher

          Considering the extreme amounts of religious persecution that these poor Xtian bastards have to face on a daily basis, especially the gladiator games that are held in American stadiums every night for our atheistic/paganist pleasures, this whole story sounds like someone's parents encouraged the student to try to provoke some kind of reaction from the teacher.

    6. gurukalehuru

      It's High School. The student was over 10. It's about time he learned that creationism is superstitious, religious nonsense. In fact, it's about time everybody learned that creationism is superstitious, religious nonsense.

      Respect for other people's religious beliefs means I don't take a dump on the church's lawn.

    7. Rotundo_

      It sounds like junior and his sponsors were fishing for lawsuit material "To Prove A Point". I don't like slamming peoples belief systems but I somehow suspect that the line taken out of context from the conversation was the last straw on the part of the teacher. I suspect he doesn't go walking into churches screaming "You're all fulla shit!" I also suspect that Junior and his sponsors like to flick at people with jobs to do with distractions like long winded theological debates when the fucking test doesn't require an intimate knowledge of Genesis or all of the claptrap the Juh Heeezzzz Ussssoids have baked up to explain how their 2000 plus year old religious text is scientifically relevant and correct.

  11. baconzgood

    Creationism IS “religious, superstitious nonsense". But, intelligent design is coherent and a well respected theory in some scientific circles.

    1. ManchuCandidate

      That was till Rick Perry blew that up by saying that Creationism and ID were the same thing.

      As for ID respecting scientific circles… they would be very very very very small circles.

      1. baconzgood

        The "scientific circles" we're talking about are in the Biloxi Up Stairs Beauty School & Advanced Deep Space Theoretical Research Institute.

      2. Doktor Zoom

        Well, the Kitzmiller v. Dover case also sort of blew that up, especially the draft of Of Pandas and People in which every instance of "Creation" was search-and-replaced to "Design," except for a few slips where "creationists" became "cdesign proponentsists"

    2. Hera Sent Me

      Uh, wrong. "Intelligent design" is basically the long-form version of the teleological argument – things that are complicated can't possibly result from naturalistic processes. This is proven false by how uncomplicated drops of water become highly complicated snow flakes just because the cloud they're part of gets cold.

      "Look at this tree. Isn't it pretty? Therefore, God exists." isn't science.

      1. mumbly_joe

        Not so! You could also be replacing the word "god" with "space aliens", and hoping your audience doesn't understand how genetic mutation works, and also running out of the room before anyone thinks to ask how the space aliens got there. If there was any evidence of space aliens, that is, which there isn't.

        1. HistoriCat

          "If there was any evidence of space aliens, that is, which there isn't."

          Stop covering up for the alien conspiracy!

        2. GOPCrusher

          I disagree. I subscribe to Weekly World News e-mail updates and they are the authority on alien lifeforms.

  12. x111e7thst

    If the 11 Commandments (original 10 + right to arm bears) were prominently posted in every courthouse in the nation like the founding fathers intended we would not have these problems.

  13. weejee

    Genesis 1:3
    And God said:
    del dot E = 4πρ
    del dot B = 0
    del cross E = (-1/c) ∂B/∂t
    del cross B = (1/c) ∂E/∂t + (4π/c)J
    and there wuz light

    1. bagofmice

      From a semantic perspective, the whole del dot thing is almost as infuriating (and hard to parse) as an SQL order by. Can we please keep our tokens space delimited, and not special case them?

      God.
      /Napoleon Dynamite

    1. flamingpdog

      I'm still trying to figure out how CrazyEyes Bachmann ended up at the College of William and Mary law school for her graduate work. I'm pretty sure her parents didn't buy my alma mater a new wing to the library.

  14. FakaktaSouth

    Well, I allow for stupidity and false hope, and at least our Presidential candidates aren't telling kids that science is a hoax…oh wait. I am SO CONFUSED!!!!!
    I bet this is NOT the kind of "Tort Reform" Perry blabbers about.

    (the teacher should have used much better language, talking to a kid who had obviously been taught that stuff his whole life, and been kinder, thereby possibly explaining some things that might have opened this kid's mind up, instead of now having an attitude)

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      I also thought the teacher was kind of harsh but then again I was not present during their discussion. I could imagine a scenario where a headstrong, highly religious student who insists on spewing his beliefs to the point of disrupting the class might cause a teacher to get a little pissed off.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I totally get that – trust me, I walk amongst these holy rollers everyday – and a kid who is the type to sue over his "constitutional rights" is probably the kind that I would probably want very much to punish all corporal-like. But being on the other side of a bunch of Jesus freaks all the time, where people talk at me like I am stupidly, clearly WRONG and I HATE it, makes me think there are other ways to make people actually hear you. But yeah, kids suck and I would HATE to be a teacher. They should obvs get paid less and have their benefits stripped…

        1. SorosBot

          Ugh; I'm lucky to not have to deal with hardcore Jesus freaks in the real world very often, sorry you have to deal with them all the time.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            You are incredibly lucky and I am jealous. I often wonder what it must be like to live in an alternate universe to this one – a happy place, where reason, acceptance, understanding and doing things because they are right, not because they "look good" or because a man (always a man) in the sky will send you to a fiery pit of suffering if you don't. I call it Heaven, I think the official name is "Bernie Sanders' district in Vermont." And one day by god, (or whatever) I will get there. I just wish it wasn't so fucking cold.

          2. SorosBot

            Around here (Philadelphia, but most Northeast cities are similar) most people are still religious, but not firebrand fundamentalist types. The majority of folks I know are Catholic (but not serious about it) or Jewish, with a number of Protestants, atheists, Buddhists, etc. People don't discuss religious topics in casual conversation; it's impolite. Any in-your-face, obnoxious Christianity mostly comes just from crazy preachers on the street (we used to have some on the subway – that was really annoying – but not since their ringleader died).

            I've only seen had to interact with fundamentalists on the internet, and seen what they're like through said internet and TV. I know I'm lucky to live in a major city away from the evangelicals, and wish you and your immediate family strength to deal with that.

          3. FakaktaSouth

            Luckily my family and I are all assholes who think we are great in spite of the fucktards we have to be around, and we expose the kids to as much "outside Alabama" as possible. But I will take all good wishes at ANY time, cause, it still sucks.
            I get the religion stuff shoved up my nose most in "modest brag" form. The very worst is my own demographic – "grown" women a la Sarah Palin – know zip, do nothing, been nowhere but Disney and the beach, can't put themselves in another person's place to save their souls, but are as blessed as all get out. They are blessed, so blessed. And they will pray for you. It's not ever really about god,(or the Bible, a subject about which they also know very little) it's about telling you what they have because they are blessed. It always makes me wonder why God hates poor people so much.

          4. prommie

            They are so fucking smug, aren't they? And the way they talk about Jaysus, its so childish and self-worshipping, he is "their" Jaysus, he is their personal special friend, he belongs to them, he has no cares in the universe other than to sit around waiting for them to pray to him so he can drop everything and take care of everything for them. Its all about them! Jaysus died for them! Their money and jewelry and cars and the rest of the "blessings," they think thats all just proof that they are "saved," that they are predestined for salvation as evidenced by Jaysus showering them with material wealth during their lives. Fuckheads have it all completely backwards, of course.

          5. FakaktaSouth

            Man, this is it in a nutshell. Childish. They are all Jesus' sorority sister, they are all uniquely special. And when God "heals" one, I feel sorry for the folks he overlooks all the time, the cancers other people deserved, the car wrecks others couldn't have survived. I know a person with BLESSED for her license plate, on the back of her Earth destroying Suburban. Sometimes when I feel real evil, I imagine her ending up living in it, ('cept I'm sure it's a lease) so I am no better I guess…

          6. Rotundo_

            The "pray for that Cadillac and nice house" set is particularly repulsive. I can really respect the people who, as Christians are out in the trenches doing good work, not for recruitment purposes or for a flashy show of pseudogoodness, but because they believe that the people they are working with are Gods children and no more or less deserving than they are. The good works I have seen done can *almost* make me forget the absolutely horrid things done in Gods name.

          7. JerkCade

            You nailed it. It's cold, but skiing and hot toddies make it bearable. And the holy shithouse rats are relatively rare.

          8. FakaktaSouth

            Sounds perfect! One day, when you see someone decked out in Alabama skis yelling "Fuck yeah, Roll Tide!" as they flail helplessly down a mountain drunk on socialism and any kind of hot liquor, you'll know I made it!

    2. baconzgood

      You're right. I would have gone with "Are you shitting me? Seriously, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!!?" But I know how to talk to these schmucks.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Baby, you can teach my kids anything, anytime…(seriously, they would love you, but it'd have to be "are you fucking shitting me?" they likes the f-word)

  15. DaSandman

    Holy shit. If the creationism is voodoo bullshit argument made everyone crazy, what is the homo history and particulars of ghey butt sex class gonna do to these idiots?

    Heads exploding on Faux in 5…4…3…..

  16. Serolf_Divad

    A federal appeals court on Friday tossed out a lower court’s ruling that Capistrano Valley High School teacher James Corbett violated a student’s constitutional rights by making comments disparaging to religion, saying Corbett could not have known he might be breaking the law.

    So these are the sorts of crumbs we're gobbling up these days all the while trying to convince ourselves they're a bountiful feast? Teacher is sued for pointing out that creationism is pseudo-scientific garbage and the courts rule in his favor resoning that he "could not have known he might be breaking the law?"

    Fuck.

    Fucketty, fuck, fuck.

    We are so fucked.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      I thought there was something "gilding-the-dildo" about the language of this ruling, but my hangover isn't letting me process information very well today. Thanks for bringing up a good point.

    2. HobbesEvilTwin

      this is the weasel way of avoiding the bigger issue: i.e., is that stupid law constitutional to begin with? By avoiding a decision that issue, I think the 9th was trying to keep Scalia and his rentboys away from the case.

      but yes, fucketty, fuck, fuck is still an apt description of the predicament.

      1. criminogenic

        fuck it.. lets do it live..they should have said he was breaking the law and then there could be another trial beat down of these medieval fucks.again.

    3. proudgrampa

      I agree, Ser. This does not sound like an unqualified victory.

      And yes, we are freakin' doomed.

    4. tessiee

      If they're beating you with hand, be grateful that they're not beating you with stick. — Russian proverb.

  17. DaRooster

    “Nothing put Corbett on notice that his statements might violate the Establishment Clause…"

    Stoopid teacher… know the friggin' laws will ya…

  18. donner_froh

    alleged 22 statements Corbett made during a fall Advanced Placement European history course were disparaging to Christians,

    How would it be possible to teach European history (Dark Ages, Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, which you didn't expect, decades of religious wars) and not disparage Christians?

    1. baconzgood

      Woah there Donner. First of all the Inquisitions is liberal propaganda. At the time they were called the Happy fluffy bunny party hour. The Dark Ages were great for education and the economy. And finaly, the Crusaders never ever sacked a Christian city for the sake of greed. I know this because I just checked my Tex-ass 10th grade history book to verify ALL these facts.

    2. Mumbletypeg

      I'm sure the dedicated faculty at his current school — the privately-run, Churches-of-Christ funded Pepperdine University — are doing their best to undermine your statement by fluffing his bruised, worrywarted, scapegoat-baiting ways back toward the dogmatic purpose he was devoutly raised to serve.

    3. Duly_Noted

      All it takes is a few bad apples practicing cannabalism and genocide and the next thing you know people are critical of The Crusades. It's just so wrong!

    4. SayItWithWookies

      Hadn't thought about that, but you're absolutely right — history should be illegal, period. If it's not disparaging the word of The LORD, it's making courageous souls like Teddy Roosevelt and William Westmoreland look like damn fools. And just to be safe, we ought to do away with geology (plate tectonics clearly could not have happened in the 10,000 years the earth has been here), astronomy, cosmology, genetics and its insidious ancestor, biology (well, at least everything after Linnaeus), printing (for disseminating falsehoods) and chemistry, since DNA is obviously some sort of lie. That's probably not a complete list, but it's a good start.

      1. ShaveTheWhales

        Over on some random Yahoo science thread, there's an article that points out that so far, the LHC hasn't turned up any evidence of the Higgs boson in the expected mass range, and that particle physicists are beginning to think it won't show up at all (which is great news for theoreticians because it means somebody gonna get to overturn the Standard Model, woohoo).

        About 50% of the comments view this as God outsmarting them goddam untrustworthy scientists.

    5. tessiee

      If only that teacher had disparaged muslins and called their beliefs superstitious nonsense, because after all, it's not like *that's* violating anyone's precious freedom, right?

      1. not that Dewey

        No, because Islam is not a religion — haven't you heard? It's a political cult bent on world domination. Unlike, say, Dominionists.

  19. JustPixelz

    XTians who reject science should be forced (by jackbooted government goons if possible) to live with Bible science, Bible medicine and Bible justice system. 'Cause it's a package deal: scientific techniques that make the scooter work also explains biology. Get over it.

  20. metamarcisf

    "Evolution is a myth…why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?"

    Senator Christine O'Donnell (R)(Delaware)

        1. MonsterAGoGo

          They tell us that! We lost our tails! Evolving up! From little snails! I say it's all! Just wind and sails! Are we not men? WE ARE DEVO.

  21. JoshuaNorton

    why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?

    In her case, she is living proof that some humans are evolving into monkeys.

    1. MonsterAGoGo

      Didn't they see Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Or any Planet of the Apes? Or heard of Koko learning sign language (yes I know that one is tenuous).

  22. hollywooddood

    I don't know how anyone can look at the typical teabagger countenance and still think we're not descendents of primates.

    1. freakishlywrong

      Ugh. Scott Walker/Scarborough/Paul Ryan eyes. Squinty, puffy and cross-eyed. With a dash of meanness and even more ignorance.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      How can primates look at teabaggers and not feel just a bit ashamed about "that side of the family"?

    3. MonsterAGoGo

      Or in their case, tuataras. Or surinam toads. Or geoducks. Or other awesomely names icky animals.

  23. timbo71351

    I tell you, they're not arguing in India or China about teaching evolution. And I think the only reason politicos show support for this is a cynical way of winning the snakehandler vote — their kids don't go to schools where its an issue to teach evolution. The big businesspeople need to go to the snakehandlers and tell them to STFU.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Probably worth mentioning, however, that there are a number of Islamic creationists, notably Turkey's Harun Yahya. Sadly, they are making headway in undermining science education in Turkey, largely following the American creotard agenda.

    2. Rotundo_

      But the snake handlers and the nutters are the ones that help elect the politicians the bidnesspeople get their tax breaks from. No nutters, no bribable politicians, no money. They have a vested interest promoting religion and killing off education that encourages skeptical inquiry instead of blind belief. Besides which, when we hit the bottom, the chinese will be getting their shitty clothing and plastic wares from us, our kids will be sewing up shirts a plenty for their bowls of corn gruel.

      1. tessiee

        Also, stupid people have lots of stupid kids, thereby creating an ever-renewing pool of cheap labor for the corporations.

  24. freakishlywrong

    Why the kerfuffle over science and things? It went thusly: Jesus dismounted from his dinosaur and wrote the U.S. Constitution. The founders were off fighting slavery. The end.

    1. Rotundo_

      Pssssst, you mean the founders were off establishing slavery, it's in the bible so it has to be legit. Besides which, how are the Kochs going to make quilted northern that is affordable in North America without holding slaves?

  25. HedonismBot

    Not to worry, fundies. The Supreme Court will set things right (well, five of them will, anyway.)

  26. DaRooster

    "…Tyler also said he would ask the U.S. Supreme Court to review the case if the appeals court doesn't change its ruling."

    For fucks sake… let it go! There really are a couple of other things to worry more about… for instance… Republican douche bags and how much they hate this country and everyone in it.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    This is horrible news — where would our society be if we called every stupid, superstitious myth a stupid, superstitious myth?

    1. prommie

      Here are some myths worth more effort, in the way of exposing as stupid superstitions: The Laffer Curve, the invisible hand, supply side economics, and the notion that long prison terms and the death penalty deter crime.

      1. Negropolis

        Too bad the right has staked their flag in Creationism, though. They started the war, and they continue to fight it as some kind of ridiculous cultural touchstone. Sometimes, bullies get bopped right back in the nose when they cease to stop their own violence and intimidation. It'd really be nice if we could get to those other myths.

  28. Guppy06

    About five chapters out of fifty, in one book out of over sixty…

    But these parts, more than any other, have to absolutely, positively be taken as literally as possible. Even though it repeatedly violates the "thou shalt not knock up thy sister" commandment.

    I'd have more respect if they spent their time and money instead trying to defend the idea that "wisdom" is literally a woman. That idea gets a heck of a lot more mileage throughout the entire Bible.

    EDIT: Wisdom is a woman, and women are inferior. Suddenly it all becomes clear!

    1. SorosBot

      Not to mention that the book shows their god to be an asshole, and somehow tries to cast the clear hero of the story as a villain, and the bad guy as admirable. Just look at the Adam and Eve story: god puts the two in the Garden of Eden with the tree of knowledge, and tells them that knowledge is there but forbids them to have it. That's an evil act, denying knowledge to people. Then the snake encourages them to heroically deny their oppressor and take the knowledge anyway. Eating the apple in defiance of that bastard god is clearly a heroic act. Then the asshole kicks them out of paradise for refusing to submit to his tyranny. God is the villain here, people.

      1. Guppy06

        Taking Geneiss as a whole, though, the "God is a Dick" theme pretty much stops with the Flood. For the other 90% of the book, he mostly just promises guys kids and land, and the bouts of assholery are usually preceded by proper establishing shots of why so-and-so had to die.

        It's Exodus where he really becomes a dick. "I could just make the Egyptians let you go without the rampant genocide, but where's the fun in that?"

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Nah, sort of the other way around. The law firm, "Advocates for Faith and Freedom," took the case to advocate for their Christianist agenda, and they publicize the case for fundraising purposes. They're one of those groups that thinks that Christians are an oppressed minority in America. Strangely enough, the group has not yet updated its webpage on the case that they've lost on appeal.

      1. flamingpdog

        That's easily explainable. Jeebus spends the last two weeks of August every year at Martha's Vineyard. And he always has some mighty fine wine.

  29. smitallica

    So you now have a Constitutional right to never be told that your parents brainwashed you with religious horseshit? Good to know.

      1. SorosBot

        I heard being a Wiccan in the South gets you fifteen years on death row for a child murder you didn't commit.

  30. smitallica

    How many fucking times do we have to keep having this same argument? You LOST, Creationists. These people are like my wife, except with the toilet seat lid replaced by ancient myth.

  31. Doktor Zoom

    Hmm… A bit of addtional reading, for fun:

    1) A sort-of editorial by Jim Corbett, the teacher who was sued, published shortly after the appeal was heard in April of this year (Includes links to the court documents, for detail-obsessed readers…)

    2) An OC Register piece on Mr. Corbett's opinions about the student and the case, taken from Corbett's posts to the Register's comments section. (He sounds like a nifty teacher–confrontational, maybe, but insistent on making students think. Some poor special snowflakes may have their beliefs challenged, which, of course, is a human rights violation)

    3) The student's webpage, sponsored by the Christianist legal group that took his case. Funny, even though the court overturned the decision against Corbett on Friday, there's no update to the site. On his own homepage, Char Farnan is still victorious against the Enemies of Christ! (Includes a yahoo mail address for Chad, so I suppose a person could suggest that he update his page.)

  32. glamourdammerung

    Another butthurt conservative trying to force "political correctness" down everyone else's throat, another day.

  33. tessiee

    "a lawsuit against a high school history teacher brought by one of his students who complained the teacher said in class that Creationism is “religious, superstitious nonsense.”"

    So, it's only the product liability and wrongful death lawsuits brought against corporations that are frivolous, and when the wingnuts shit the bed about John Edwards being a lawyer, it was only because he wasn't suing heathens like this teacher?

  34. Negropolis

    Whiny, know-it-all (know-nothing), high school student is whiny. Whiny, know-it-all (know-nothing), high school student got served. Boo-'effin-hoo.

  35. LettucePrey

    Yes. When a bacterial infection becomes immune to an antibiotic, that's not evolution, it's because Jesus did it. Also, too.

  36. MichelesPantalones

    Yeah, be careful with those accusations there. Most of the *rest* of us haven't abandoned common sense or science yet.

  37. MichelesPantalones

    Don't you wish they'd stop showing up at doctors' offices, then, and making the rest of us pay to keep their obese, diabetic, hoverounding asses healthy? Why don't they just sit home and pray to jeebus and see if the flesh-eating rot stops? Like that guy who got stuck to his chair after two years?

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