BAD MANNERS  10:05 pm August 22, 2011

Tea Party Lady Is Disappointed Her Obama Assassination Joke Was Not a Hit

by Blair Burke

Oh yawn, here is another Tea Party person who has taken to The Facebook to say possibly inappropriate things about our President and First Lady. What are they this time, socialist Kenyans? Hitler and Mrs. Hitler? WRONG! They are people who should be pushed out of a moving aircraft, according to a terrible joke that made its way around The Olds’ Facebook circuit.

The chairwoman of the Sumter Tea Party is taking some heat after posting a joke on Facebook about killing the president and first lady.

Shery Lanford Smith posted the joke on her public profile Thursday afternoon, according to a screen-capture taken by the Sumter Item’s Nick McCormac. Smith removed the post after being asked about it.

har har that'll teach that obamar

The joke has been circulating for years in various forms which have included the names of multiple political figures. “It’s just a joke,” Smith told the Item when contacted about her post. “I had no idea it would be an issue.”

Smith was elected chairwoman of the Sumter Tea Party in February 2011, according to the organization’s now-defunct website.

How sad that these people can spam everyone with scary jokes on Facebook but they can’t keep a Tea Party web site up and running. Oh well, where Maxine Waters is sending them, there are no web sites. [WISTV]

 
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{ 149 comments }

Barb August 22, 2011 at 10:10 pm

“I had no idea it would be an issue.” Stupid bleach blonde, racist bitch also didn't know calories were an issue.

SorosBot August 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Look at that picture again; there's no way that woman is a natural blonde now, if she ever was.

mannacler August 22, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I'll let you verify if the carpet matches the curtains.

SorosBot August 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

No.

starfanglednut August 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Never, ever, ever.

Barb August 23, 2011 at 8:35 am

Soros, "suicide blonde" = dyed by her own hand.

DaRooster August 23, 2011 at 9:03 am

Or Chins… hell we ain't in Chinee Land!

fuflans August 23, 2011 at 10:52 am

it's weird. they all look the same to me.

ttommyunger August 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

You forgot ugly, Barb. With three u's.

the_problem_child August 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Trash like this is why the teabaggers are rising in popularity, right?

AJWjr. August 22, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Shouldn't you be in mourning for Jack Layton, or something? Really, sorry he's gone…

Frost/Nixon/Robocop August 22, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Wow, a teabagger and a person who re-posts dumb shit on Facebook? You know who else this lady is worse than?

Schmannnity August 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

You CANNOT be defending Tundra Twat!

Guppy06 August 22, 2011 at 11:07 pm

She posts her own twats, gotta give her that.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Not Hitler!

SorosBot August 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Megatron?

BarackMyWorld August 22, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Jack the Ripper?

flamingpdog August 22, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Jack the Lousy Tipper?

GOPCrusher August 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Scottie Pippen?

not that Dewey August 23, 2011 at 12:00 am

Gilbert Gottfried?

SorosBot August 23, 2011 at 12:15 am

Hm; Gilbert Gottfried joined the cast of Night Court in its' final season; therefore, if correlation=causation, he was responsible for Night Court being canceled; and therefore, Gilbert Gottfried is the worst person in the world. It's logic!

not that Dewey August 23, 2011 at 12:29 am

Fuckin Gilbert Gottfried has managed to worm his way into just about every children's movie ever made, even retroactively into the classics. His voice is as annoying as or more annoying than Palin's — it's like those bugs that Khan placed in Chekov's ears, except they don't ever come out. Gah!

emmelemm August 23, 2011 at 2:53 am

Wow. Suddenly a lot of things are clearer….

SorosBot August 23, 2011 at 12:15 am

Rita Repulsa?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 23, 2011 at 4:52 am

Matt Drudge?

ProgressiveInga August 23, 2011 at 6:38 am

Honey Badger?

Negropolis August 23, 2011 at 7:46 am

J. Robert Oppenheimer?

The creator of Family Circus?

flamingpdog August 23, 2011 at 6:59 pm

The creator of Nietzsche Family Circus?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 23, 2011 at 10:52 am

AOTK

LetUsBray August 22, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Remember when wearing an anti-Bush t-shirt to one of Cowboy Caligula's rallies could get you arrested? Why isn't this harpy behind bars?

Better yet, why isn't she at Gitmo, which she no doubt helped keep open by shrieking like an illiterate banshee at the prospect of its closing? She sure sounds enemy combatantish to me.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:46 pm

He-e-ee-ey. I like this idea. Let's go. Can you row?

flamingpdog August 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Once you put this harpy behind bars, , you better not ever let her out.

Fukui_sanYesOta August 22, 2011 at 10:24 pm

What is it with stupid teabagging nutballs and missing letters from their names?

It's like some kind of red flag alert. "First name missing letter : brain missing full complement of marbles"

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm

That's how they signal each other, in absence of their "STUPID" teeshirts.

mannacler August 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm

And people make fun of black people's first names.

iburl August 22, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Teabagger Party Message: "Murdering uppity blacks is just a joke"

PASS IT ON!
——————
Keep Your Tea Away From Me! http://youtu.be/DmSh2qRHDnc

noodlesalad August 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Ugh, look at this lady. Getting stuck next to her in a normal human-sized airplane seat would have 256 million people ready to jump out themselves. And that's before she opens her mouth. New rule – you have to buy as many airplane seats as your total chin count.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Well, it looks to me like she has more chins than the HongKong phone book. Out the hatch with the bitch. She can't afford that many seats.

mavenmaven August 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Those "pass it on" human virus posting are particularly contagious among stupid olds.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Tell me about it. I recently befriended someone even older than me, and he sends me great stuff sometimes, but every now and then that weeping eagle and Pass It On indicate something that needs to go in the metaphorical round file.

bumfug August 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Hint: If you're going to update a 17 year-old Clinton joke, don't forget to add in the 50 million fucking people who've been added to the population since the joke was new.
Then kill yourself before you forward it.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

It's way older than 17 years, hon. I first heard it in 1965.

bumfug August 22, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I was dating by the 256 million number but apparently it was a Lyndon and Lady Bird joke. Or hell, maybe it was originally 125 million and the joke was on FDR and Eleanor. God knows they hated them enough.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 11:21 pm

It's probably updated and recycled every 4-8 years.

Crank_Tango August 22, 2011 at 11:58 pm

i heard it was 75 million people, the mckinleys, and a montgolfière

Negropolis August 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Not only is it a stupid joke, but the population of the country is now approximately 310 million, now. The joke is probably nearly 15 years old.

America, this is why we can't have nice things.

Crank_Tango August 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm

wow. I had a non-teabaggish friend post this last week too. I hope there is an article about her as well. I guarantee at least 10k people reposted that, is there any way we can get a statistic on that?
repost if you agree…95% of you won't…

bumfug August 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Wait til this fucker shows up in one of those "Wild Bill For America" videos my old high school friend keeps sending me. There's another 10-12,000 dipshits watching those damn things.

Schmannnity August 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Sumter? I seem to remember a fort there that was the start of a Great Unpleasantness in which 610,000 Americans (out of 30 million) lost their lives. Probably just a coincidence.

SorosBot August 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Sumter, South Carolina and treason – this combination sounds strangely familiar, not sure why…

Negropolis August 22, 2011 at 11:16 pm

Needz moar Nullification…

glamourdammerung August 23, 2011 at 1:12 am

At least this time they could state it was not about slavery and be mostly correct.

FidoMcCokefiend August 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

UHHMERICA! Love it or Leave it!*

*offer not valid when black man is in white house

Radiotherapy® August 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

256 million? Oh, I get it. 300 million minus 14%.

Schmannnity August 22, 2011 at 10:46 pm

You forgot to multiple the "Negro" population by 3/5ths.

marrcus August 23, 2011 at 12:03 am

That was Obama's 2008 vote share. I'm pretty sure about that.

ManchuCandidate August 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Trillions of dollars wasted on a pointless war.

Tax cuts to the rich.

Financial deregulation leading to global financial meltdown.

Done mostly by rich white guys.

That's fucking hilarious.

MichelesPantalones August 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Is there no end to this? Ever? Does Barack Obama have to get up every single fucking day of his life only to hear that shit like this is being flung all over the intertoobz? I don't have enough legs to kick all the asses that need kicking. Perhaps I'll do like Diamanda Galas and recruit me some Hammers of Justice and just, you know, travel from town to town taking names and kicking some of that so-hard-to-miss meaty ass out there. Anybody up for a little do-gooding? Edumacation? Rehab of the "unfactual"?

emmelemm August 23, 2011 at 2:58 am

Seriously. Can you imagine how much BO's job FUCKING SUCKS? Every fucking day with this shit… and I thought my blood pressure was high.

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 3:04 am

My greatest fear is that he'll look around at some point and think what you just said, and go, "You know what? This just ain't worth it. Let someone else have this job." He could. He could walk away in a New York minute.

And I thought *my* job sucked ass.

Radiotherapy® August 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm

This is an actual quote from a niece of mine's fuckfacebook info page.

DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN,

*gack*

vodkamuppet August 22, 2011 at 11:44 pm

[DELETE FRIEND?]

emmelemm August 23, 2011 at 2:59 am

Not that this is the point (I get that)…

But your niece is clearly not old enough to really know who Patrick Swayze or Farrah Fawcett actually are. Pop culture reference fail.

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 3:04 am

She's still alive. How have you failed, Radio?

4tehlulz_lite August 23, 2011 at 8:43 am

You should let her know you know about the following link:
http://www.secretservice.gov/contact.shtml

Tundra Grifter August 23, 2011 at 9:16 am

RT: Why don't you post on your page:

Dear Lord: [Redacted] is my favorite niece.

ttommyunger August 23, 2011 at 12:58 pm

I feel your pain….daily……I live in fucking Georgia.

Cicada August 23, 2011 at 1:32 pm

One of my teabagging relatives sends out cute little bagger polls all the time. My favorite was: Do you think our tax dollars should pay for abortions for illegals? YES/NO

It mixed so many bagger peeves in to one neat package, with the added bonus that it pushed the lie that illegal immigrants are getting free taxpayer funded abortions. So full of lose.

glamourdammerung August 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

And of course, this is perfectly innocent. Which is why she took such pains to remove it when folks pointed it out.

DaSandman August 22, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Barry is the Jackie Robinson of politics in Murica

Doktor Zoom August 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Har-har! It would be funny if the president and first lady was dead! Why doesn't anyone see how witty this nice lady is?

AJWjr. August 23, 2011 at 9:33 am

It's only to be considered funny if shit's spelled wrong, ie: dead=daid.

ShaveTheWhales August 22, 2011 at 11:07 pm

I will risk the ire of Wonketeers and point out that this joke, while extremely old — they probably told it about Franklin and Eleanor — and pretty stupid, is not inherently racist. It works equally poorly to disparage any linked couple (e.g., Michele and Marcus, McConnell and Boner, WALNUTS! and Ham Biscuits)

It's impossible to know the actual racial feelings of Shery Wassname, but sometimes a bad joke is just a bad joke.

DaRooster August 23, 2011 at 9:09 am

With Michele and Marcus… that is pretty fucking funny!!

But to be fair… they are pretty spiteful, hateful, disgusting people.

Steverino247 August 23, 2011 at 9:37 am

Are you saying that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?

deanbooth August 23, 2011 at 10:04 am

I agree, STW. Seems pretty harmless to me, too.

fuflans August 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

it may be pretty harmless, but i'll tell you, the fallout for shery (one R) lanford smith is fucking hilarious.

ttommyunger August 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm

And sometimes it is a Federal Felony under Title l8, USC.

Negropolis August 23, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Shery is a Republican from South Carolina and the head of the Sumter Tea Party, even. It's not impossible to figure out her feelings on race; hell, it's not even that difficult. Call a duck a duck, and stick up for the folks that might deserve this kind of second look.

I guess in the most technical sense you're correct, but why try so hard? I guess in total isolation of knowing who told the joke, the joke in and of itself isn't racist. But, when told by the chairwoman of the Sumter Tea Party of South Carolina? Really, let's get real, here.

user-of-owls August 22, 2011 at 11:08 pm

The initial version was tried on Calvin Coolidge, but when his wife said, "I bet I could throw 100 pennies out there are and make someone very happy!"

Calvin, as usual, said nothing.

Tundra Grifter August 23, 2011 at 9:40 am

UoO: You're on to something here. When the joke was on Silent Cal, the First Couple was probably riding a train – with windows that actually opened.

Airplanes haven't had doors that open during flight since D.B. Cooper took his leap of faith. Windows, not since Goldfinger.

Callyson August 22, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Dear Bitch Teabagger,

Fuck you very much.

(If you agree with the above, pass it on…)

johnnyzhivago August 22, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Yuk yuk, whaddaya call 500,000 Teabaggers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!!!!

Pass it on!!!!

ShaveTheWhales August 23, 2011 at 1:54 am

Aha, a recycled lawyer joke. See, the classic bad jokes never die.

johnnyzhivago August 22, 2011 at 11:10 pm

It's miracle anyone even caught her joke since it was probably surrounded by 20000 Farmville messages.

SorosBot August 22, 2011 at 11:15 pm

I just checked facebook for the first time in months. So some more people I used to know are proud they don't know how to use birth control; just as pointless as ever.

LettucePrey August 23, 2011 at 12:57 am

A dying grandmother tells her granddaughter, "I want you to inherit my farm — including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash". "WOW!!" said the granddaughter, "I had no idea you even had a farm! Where is it?" Granny says with her last dying breath, "It's on my Facebook."

Guppy06 August 22, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Chain letters should be a capital offense.

Pass it on.

Radiotherapy® August 22, 2011 at 11:16 pm

This from Mrs. Radio:

I hope Rick Perry gets hit by a bus. hahahaha

Negropolis August 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Perferably by Obama's bus, and preferably by accident.

flamingpdog August 22, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Even better, Sarah's bus. Not only does he get the hear the bus tires screeching, but, with his last dying breath, her screeching, too, also. No, wait, I wouldn't wish that even on Rick Perry.

AJWjr. August 22, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Or a head-on collision between his bus and her bus, even better?

Fukui_sanYesOta August 23, 2011 at 12:05 am

The Koch Brother's Gulfstream accidentally crashing into both buses, while Newt Gingrich looks on laughing?

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 3:06 am

Both of them in one swell foop!

Monsieur_Grumpe August 22, 2011 at 11:16 pm

I blame Jay Leno for America's lousy sense of humor.
She looks like a Leno fan.

arihaya August 22, 2011 at 11:32 pm

maybe she also wanted Obama to spend summer holidays in Dallas driving around in open convertible, rather than in Martha's Vineyard

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 3:07 am

She probably would, yeah.

glamourdammerung August 23, 2011 at 5:20 am

Letting conservatives off the hook for calling for Kennedy's murder up to and including the day of it is one of the great failings of our so called "liberal media".

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 11:15 am

Yeah, that full page ad taken out in the Dallas newspaper threatening Kennedy was probably just a co-in-ci-dence!

Texas is full of friendly people…

prommie August 23, 2011 at 9:50 am

Nah, thats the traditional Thanksgiving in Dallas vacation.

BarackMyWorld August 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm

From the 90s:

Bill and Hillary Clinton are at a baseball game, sitting in a private box. At one point, before the game starts, an aide walks up to the president and whispers into his ear. Bill Clinton says "Okay," then gets up and picks up Hillary and throws her out of the box. The aid, looking horrified, then exclaims to the president: "No, Mr. President, they wanted to know if you could throw out the FIRST PITCH!"

Thanks, I'll be here all week. Try the chicken alfredo and please tip your waitresses.

SorosBot August 23, 2011 at 12:01 am

Remember Rush Limbaugh's old "joke" where he said "In addition to Socks the White House cat, there is also a White House dog", and held up a picture of Chelsea? Ugh, these have always been despicable people. At least he's not on the TV anymore (one of my random freshman year roommates watched him religiously. The other suddenly vanished, and it turned out he was running away from bookies. I'm not sure who was worse.)

Tundra Grifter August 23, 2011 at 9:21 am

SB: Molly Ivins (rest her soul!) was responsible for spreading that story. The tape of Boss BlunderRush actually saying it was never found – and there is no other evidence I've seen that he did and said it.

There is so much terrible stuff BlunderRush actually did say (such as Jackie Kennedy didn't love JFK because the day of his funeral she gave John John his birthday party – he was 4) nobody has to make up anything.

The real thing will do just fine.

marrcus August 23, 2011 at 12:01 am

Who's on the $1000 bill? Is that Reagan?

Fukui_sanYesOta August 23, 2011 at 12:07 am

It's actually Ed Meese. Not a lot of people know that.

Guppy06 August 23, 2011 at 12:47 am

These kinds of messages are passed around by the kind of people who would accept a $1000 bill.

zhubajie August 23, 2011 at 9:21 am

Cleveland.

horsedreamer_1 August 23, 2011 at 9:29 am

"On the run from hyperinflation… ain't no trip to Cleveland!"

zhubajie August 23, 2011 at 9:55 pm

>

zhubajie August 23, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Let me clarify: Grover Cleveland, 22d and 24th pres. "The thousand dollar Cleveland is hard to get" — Little Walter, "Them Dead Presidents"

FlipOffResearch August 23, 2011 at 2:03 am

I still plan on making one of these breathless overblown e-mails, in the popular old's fashion, about how Obama is going to make you register all of your guns when you vote in 2012.

It's like judo. You turn their methods against them.

GeorgiaBurning August 23, 2011 at 2:22 am

Be sure to remind them to vote on Thursday.

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 3:08 am

Brilliant. I can helpz?

Comrade Wingtard August 23, 2011 at 8:41 am

Be sure to use comic sans in 32 points, and use lots of colors for emphasis.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 11:17 am

Or Star Wars font.

Old people and whores like Star Wars…

Monsieur_Grumpe August 23, 2011 at 2:04 am

How many Teabaggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ans:
Nobody knows. They always get in an arguement about light bulbs and nothing gets accomplished.

glamourdammerung August 23, 2011 at 5:22 am

A; None, because the light bulb clearly worked before that black guy usurped the White House.

Negropolis August 23, 2011 at 7:41 am

A: All of them, Katie. Every fuckin' last one of them, Katie.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two — one to screw in the bulb, and one to steady the chandelier.

DahBoner August 24, 2011 at 11:19 am

"How many Teabaggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

None.

They sitting on a pile of cash waiting for a White man to enter the White House and give them more tax cuts to buy outdated technology…

Comrade Wingtard August 23, 2011 at 7:46 am

256 million? That's every adult and child in the US. There are at most 30 million teatards, and two thirds of them are about to drop fucking dead of massive heart/liver/spleen/lung failure on their poor, broke ass raggedy lil' Hoverroundz (yeah, I'm one to talk, given the amount of drinking I've been doing since the Bush years). Secondly, how can teatards possibly STAND facebook? There's no comic sans font for their "jokes" (see, people would have KNOWN it was a joke if she could have put it in comic sans) and they can't colorize/bold/make huge their text like they can in their Outlooks. See My Right Wing Dad, an archive of teatard email forwards, there's some seriously painful shit in there.

KeepFnThatChicken August 23, 2011 at 9:06 am

Boy, she should sure be thankful she's not one of those disbelieving atheist fools. After all, they really got a pounding from online Christians.

randcoolcatdaddy August 23, 2011 at 9:09 am

“It’s just a joke,” Smith told the Item when contacted about her post. “I had no idea it would be an issue.”

I thought the same thing about the Tea Party.

tcaalaw August 23, 2011 at 9:10 am

Meh. I've heard this joke told in past years with Bill/Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush/Dick Cheney in the Barack/Michelle Obama roles, so, while I agree that it's in bad taste, it seems like a bi-partisan bad taste joke.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 23, 2011 at 9:31 am

Still, is this kind of 'joke' appropriate for the supposed head of a mock political party to be distributing? I'd think they would be focused on creating press which attempts to legitimize their group. Shit like this just shows why they are marginalized and how they operate in their own little bubble.

And I gotta say, if this had been a Democrat pol, it would be all over the snooze.

horsedreamer_1 August 23, 2011 at 9:31 am

This is simply Lanford Smith's movie pitch to the Wayans Brothers for the Don't Throw Mama from the Train re-make/re-imagining. She has it titled, tentatively, Throw Hoochie Mama from the Plane.

Limeylizzie August 23, 2011 at 9:40 am

This woman needs to go and visit the Teabaggers, another fierce British woman…makes me proud.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/aug/22/why-hack

Tundra Grifter August 23, 2011 at 9:41 am

Why did we take the T-Baggers so seriously? They're the biggest nothing since New Coke.

FakaktaSouth August 23, 2011 at 9:57 am

I used to think it was funny, and I still use the name at them because it pisses them off, but we need to reclaim the teabagging. Stupid people give ball gargling a bad name.

WhatTheHolyHeck August 23, 2011 at 10:30 am

Oh well, where Maxine Waters is sending them, there are no web sites.

I beg to differ. Hell has a wildly successful online media strategy. Its top-grossing sites right now – calculated by number of souls claimed – include NRO, FoxNews, AOL, Stormfront and HamsterDance.

Fucking evil HellHamster with its subliminal "Grover Norquist is your God!" audio track.

Mahousu August 23, 2011 at 10:52 am

Hell is where all the GeoCities websites ended up.

criminogenic August 23, 2011 at 11:04 am

'Bighell'

Mahousu August 23, 2011 at 11:01 am

According to Wikipedia, the last $1,000 bill was printed in 1945. So I figure this joke was originally about FDR, and the original punchline was about making 80 million Germans happy. In other words, Shery Lanford Smith is Hitler.

JustPixelz August 23, 2011 at 11:16 am

Hey this is a fun game!

The Tea Partiers were flying to their convention on a chartered plane. One man tipped back his tricorn hat, looked out the window, then turned to his companion. "The people down there are the real America." His friend look puzzled. "No, the real America is in the hearts of the people on this plane." Tricorn disagreed, "No the real America is hiding from that damn — " He looked around to see anyone was listening. "That damn Democrat in the White House." But others had overheard. "You said the 'D' word. You said the 'D' word." they screamed. Tricorn was dragged to the front of the plane. Someone had a musket that slipped past the TSA scanners. A flight attendent tried to intervene. "Federal regulations prohibit –" "NOOOOOOOOOO!" the crowd screamed. Tricorn broke loose and ran for the cockpit door. The pilot heard the commotion, threw open the door and shot tricorn with the 9mm Glock he normally carries, for safety. Startled, the musket bearer fired back. The bullet killed the pilot, then shattered the cockpit window. Glass shards blinded the co-pilot, who pushed the control stick down. There were 30,000 attending the "God Save Real America" prayer meeting in the stadium when the plane crashed through the roof. The fireball killed everyone, like flames from Hell.

Ha ha ha. that's hystericala funny joke. I can't stop laughing.

Oblios_Cap August 23, 2011 at 11:35 am

That is an Instant Classic!

CapnFatback August 23, 2011 at 2:41 pm

The Aristocrats!

subsum August 23, 2011 at 11:26 am

Shery Lanford Smith: go fuck yourself.

Cicada August 23, 2011 at 11:40 am

“It’s just a joke,” Smith told the Item when contacted about her post. “I had no idea it would be an issue.”

Oh no, a Tea Party chairperson is being held to the same standards as other political operatives! Who knew that being a representative for a political organization meant having to be careful how you represent yourself publicly? Will this terrible oppression of the Tea Party patriots ever end?

notreelyhelping August 23, 2011 at 11:42 am

At this point, these things have become so lame that they drain rather than irritate. They're like the dumb party game where people come up with random words to fit into sentence slots, and people either think it's funny because they're blind wasted (ha-ha, it supposed to be about golf but it turns out to be sex), or they pretend to laugh so as not make the blind-wasted people look too stupid. So these three ______s walk into a bar, and one says…. As told to you 300 years ago by a beef-red retail manager with beer breath and extravagant ear hair.

You can feel yourself dying with each comma.

eastcoastelite August 23, 2011 at 11:55 am

This "joke" was posted on a liberal Facebook group a couple of weeks ago…obviously with the names of Bachmann or Perry or some such in place of Obama. They all got a glorious larph out of it. I pointed out, on the post, that I didn't think it was funny when the joke had the Obamas being thrown out of the plane and I STILL didn't think it was funny. I was ridiculed and told to leave the group. I did of course because…humor!!

StarsUponThars August 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm

"Now that's funny!" — Adolph Hitler

Wonderthing August 23, 2011 at 12:32 pm

But it's my Cornhole-stitutional right to hate Kenyans and their consorts! Attica!

ttommyunger August 23, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Ha, ha. Two can play this game: wouldn't it be funny if Herman caught ass-cancer? Perry went bald and died of shame. Bachmann got Aids by tossing her gay hubby's salad? Palin's cunt fell off? Ha, ha, ha! I kill myself! But seriously, folks, take my wife….please.

gurukalehuru August 23, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Hey, Shery, you can't throw anything out the window of a plane because those windows don't open. Hoo-boy, are you stupid.

Troglodeity August 23, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Needz moar ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

MichelesPantalones August 23, 2011 at 12:06 am

You're not as young as I thought you were, are you?

KenLayIsAlive August 23, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Yeah, but they deserved it!

Radiotherapy® August 23, 2011 at 1:36 am

I remember reading Death of a President by William Manchester a long time ago and detesting the proto-teabaggers who cheered at JFK's untimely demise. And we often get stuck in a similar dichotomy here when faced with tyrants such as Cheney, Innanity, or even ol' what's his name who recently got whacked. So. without getting overly philosophical, or humane, your dreamy scenario would make not only Gingrich laugh.

horsedreamer_1 August 23, 2011 at 9:28 am

Randy Rhoads Libel!!!

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