Oh no, our FLOTUS is being a diva again, which means she is going on vacation even though “shouldn’t she be doing her job, whatever that is?” Vacation is a thing that privileged people get to help them cope with the stressful things in life, like competing to have the nicest front yard in the subdivision, paying for a child’s braces, or, in the case of the Obamas, attempting (mostly unsuccessfully) to prevent the violent and horrific collapse of America. Michelle’s efforts in that regard have mostly focused on eliminating the mythical “obese children” that she claims are running around, or rather, sitting on their couches everywhere. Our FLOTUS has clearly had enough of pretty much everything, including her whiny husband, which is why she put in her headphones on the way to the beach to TUNE HIM OUT.
A very sneaky Reuters photographer now has some sort of shocking insight into the Obama marriage, because of a photo, which is “proof” that Michelle Obama would probably rather listen to Ke$ha or Train than listen to Barry ramble on about pretty much anything.
Ah, family vacation time in an American August, a chance for members to rediscover the joys and pleasures of being together, whether they like it or not.
Sunday morning the Secret Service packed all the Obamas in secure cars and headed for a private ocean beach.
Reuters’ sharp-eyed Kevin Lamarque snapped this revealing photo of the first couple in the car tuned out from each other during this quality time family foray.
Of course, Michelle Obama could have her iPod crammed with hubby’s recent speeches.
Which is more insulting – the idea that this iPod photo means something, or the suggestion that our FLOTUS is listening to Barack Obama’s speeches on her iPod, on vacation? It is difficult to decide! Everyone just needs to relax and think about the beautiful clothes that our FLOTUS is wearing on vacation. That is a much more productive use of energy and far better distraction from our never ending poverty and unemployment. [LA Times]
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Each song on that iPod costs taxpayers $120,000,000,000.
From your fingers to Fox's news crawl.
What is it about the mere presence of Michelle Obama in proximity to a news photographer and/or reporter that causes media outlets to become even dumber than usual?
She's black?
Jungle fever?
How much you wanna bet half those Fox newsies would secretly give their left nut to be down with that swirl?
So, it's the right nut that they're all missing? Seems kinda ironic.
I know, right? Even the outlets you'd think would be kind or at least ambivalent are playing gotcha with her (though, they never get anything). It's petty beyond all belief. No one ever gave a fuck what Laura Bush did.
She has two Ls in her name instead of one.
Oh, snap!
Jesus Christ, can't a woman plot a socialist overthrow of our cookie and snackcake industry IN PEACE??
She'll take my King Dons when she pries them from my cold, dead, greasy hands.
I am betting she has a kickass Sade mix that starts out with "Never as Good as the First Time."
Doesn't this couple know the secret to a happy marriage – to engage in constant, non-stop, never-ending, continuous talking to each other? That's what keeps me and my old lady together after all these years. Matter of fact, I gotta go, we haven't spoken in 30 seconds.
GW: Never forget – Cher and Gregg Allman were "on a pace" to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. For the entire 10 days they were married.
I'll bet Michelle isn't listening to Jennifer Hudson.
SECURE TEXT INTERCEPT:
Bamz: you catch that Harvey Golub thing in the NYT?
FLOTUS: Barry, we are on vacation. Don't make me go ALL CAPS, like Viktor Vaughn.
Bamz: Ok.
Of course she's not listening to him…. He wages this pussy war in Libya where he gets the FRENCH to do our fighting. Instead of shock and awe, he probably wanted to drop healthy veggies and iPAD's on their heads…..
But, see, she'd be totally down with that, 'cos she grows those healthy veggies and stuff.
Where's the Boom-Box? I guess she didn't want anyone to hear her blastin' The Nuge…
She's just pissed they didn't get the beachfront property.
I'm sure it's packed to the limit with cool tunes, hitting the pockets of Teabagger's phantom taxes. At least she does get to listen to music?
On Julianne Moore preparing for the role of Sarah Palin in Game Change:
Courtesy of MTV Movies Blog:
"It was hard, really, really hard," she admitted. "I had a great director, Jay Roach who was incredible. I adored him, [he was] so supportive, so smart. I did a lot of research, I worked really hard. It's hard to play someone who is very present in people's minds, who's on television, very idiosyncratic, I did my best. We'll see, I hope we pulled it off."
And how about mastering that accent, eh?
"I had to listen to it over and over again. My son was embarrassed because [Palin's speeches were] all that was on my iPod. He said, 'Where's your music?' [I told him] I erased all my music."
that sounds like hell.
even for an actor who would like to be paid 1/1005th as much as julianne moore.
"Michelle Obama could have her iPod crammed with hubby's recent speeches."
As much as I am pissed off at O'Bomber these days, I still feel the need to suggest that Andrew Malcom seriously take that iPod crammed with hubby's recent speeches and cram it up his fucking ass.
Being pissed off with Obama for various things that he either did or failed to do is perfectly legit. But this kind of bullshit is just snide, petty, picayune BULLSHIT and deserves to be crammed up the "reporter's" ass with the toe of a long-toed, metal-tipped boot.
I love it when you're angry…
Oooooo! Now I'm heating up at the top of my pants legs.
New Republican talking point: Do Negros Socialists need vacations?
Discuss.
Damn, the already have a refrigerator, a microwave, a wide-screen TeeVee, and an X-Box – why would they need to leave their Ghetto Socialist Paradise to go anywhere on vacation?
I have not received my xbox (with kinnect, not the cheap shit) should I call the USDA, or just smash a window at Best Buy?
I await further instructions.
Sorry, I stopped at the word 'subdivision'
Can someone please explain why you would ever refer to your nieghborhood as a 'subdivision'? It seems insulting to say that about where you are from, and I have always secretly laughed when someone told me about their subdivision…is there some kind "I'm from the hood" irony about saying it?
Only if it's gated. Extra points for armed guards.
Some of us do live in the 'hood'.
In think subdivision is regional. In Cali, they say tract housing for normal suburbs. Subdivision does denote da hood, AFAIK.
It's just lazy trickledown talk from developers and real estate types.
I've heard "subdivision" used a lot here in Michigan suburbs, but usually just the kind of lower middle class ones. Wealtheir ones seem to use the name of the subdivison, itself. Out West, I've heard "community" used a lot as well as the name of the subdivision, for instance "I live in Flailing Willowed Oaks Park Place Ranch."
Yeah, I liked it better when Laura Bush circled articles in the paper for W to read while he finished the sports pages. Better traditional values optics.
That's when she wasn't passed out on the porch swing.
"President Obama arrived in the evening along with the family dog Bo."
I sure hope that, in the spirit of reaching across the aisle to the Rethuglicans, Bo doesn't have to ride in a crate strapped to the top of Air Force One.
Romney is already measuring pet carriers and bungee cords.
Isn't Andrew Malcolm's job masturbating to $arah Palin?
(And why did the L.A. Times need to hire someone to do that, I wonder?)
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Because it gets *really* messy when ALL the boys in the newsroom are fapping to her simultaneously. At least this way, they can keep Andrew in Wipettes.
Yes, it seems this Malcolm turd has been in the toilet for some time.
If there's anything our first lady must take a stand on it's this: Wal-Mart is about to unleash an unholy salt-based snack on our American children. A new brand of Cheesy Poofs, based on Cartman's South Park commercial will soon be available. Me, I plan on researching this travesty myself by "acquiring" many cases with food stamps and disseminating them artificially to kids in Christian Youth Camps.
I am gonna have to get a bag of that for um, research, and the lulz of course.
mythical “obese children” that she claims are
runningrolling around…My wife and I credit our happy marriage to maintaining a totally uninformed view of what the others deepest hopes and dreams are. If she were to find out that these days I mostly dream of baked goods some of the magic would surely die.
Wow. It's not like either of them want some alone time. My married friends tell me that the most peace and quiet they get is when they're taking a dump. Instead of using bodily functions, Mish has used the iPod.
Of course, it's still better than the other guy's marriage which often resembled "Scenes from An Idiot's Marriage."
who is this andrew malcolm and why was i forced to link to him?
How dare that uppity lady use expensive equipment and wear nice clothes?
On the other hand, if the rich Romney wants to build a super mansion, why shouldn't the rich enjoy their success? That's the Merkan way!
That they argue these two things in the same day (hour) will not occur to them.
Cripes, if the first family would have went to the wisconsin dells for vacation like the rest of chicago,they wouldn't have all these problems
Well, she could have listened to the radio in the car, except that crappy corporations like Clear Channel turned them all into boring commercialized craptastic drones. More so.
I'd like to think our globe-trotting FLOTUS is shown here getting Rosetta Stone®'d.
See, when Barack's on vacation, he often slips into his native Kenyan, so Michelle has the earphones on to listen to the simultaneous translation.
Finally, someone who has answers!
Andrew Malcolm has served on the L.A. Times Editorial Board and was a Pulitzer finalist in 2004 but lost to an illiterate itinerant, a flaming bag of dog poo and Mr. Potato Head who cheated by writing words in English
HE LOST BECAUSE OF AFFIRMATIVE ACTIONZ!11
Harvey Golub: "Why we need Affirmative Action so welfare queens can have IPods"?
Harvey Golub: Y U NO lissen to Barry like the rest of us haz to? Y U NO wash WH floors like black woman supposed to do? Y U NO dress in ragz like TEH POORZ which u was b4 stealing WHITE House?
She was clearly listening to Fidel Castro's speeches. Or to a reading of the poetry of Baudelaire.
Or Rimbaud.
Hers were like Verlaine's and Rimbaud's….
It's really hard to know what to think about this shocking news until Robin Givhan weighs in with a 750-word semiotic analysis of Michelle's beach apparel. Barry appears to be wearing a ball hat fer chrissakes, and the bill is in the front! Help us!
Knowing Michelle, she's probably learning a third or fourth language. Or listening to a TED lecture.
Elitism!
Barry looks busy reading and Michelle has headphones on. That's just like most Americans, except they weren't the ones driving.
Of course they're having trouble with their marriage — Michelle's just as pissed off at Barry caving to Republicans as the rest of us.
MrLimeylizzie and I only spend about half the year together, so we are always overjoyed to be in each other's company, if we were together 100% of the time…I would be be on the iPod as well.
Funny how that works, my ex-wife and I can tolerate each other now that she's not ALWAYS RIGHT THERE with the questions, and the am I pretty?, what Are you doing over there…..
Sorry, I blacked out there for a minute.
I never ask “Am I pretty” i always just state ” I am so cute”. Much less needy.
I will suggest that to every girlfriend hereafter! Very, very good strategy. He can agree, or fuck him, you're still cute. I like!
Nice, nice. Very subversive. A smart Lizzie, you are.
word
Looks, sometimes you just don't want to hope.
Comment of the Day.
ipod? elitist !
Damn! The iPod is one of the only things that America makes that people around the world want to buy! Give the First Lady credit for hyping one of our only money-making products!
Talking about our certified President, I missed Sara Benincasa this weekend. Where is she? Is she in Tripoli already? Be careful there, bebota, specially with that cleavage of yours.
I thought this was how all families were, today. You know, if you ever make it to the dinner table, all the kids and adults have their smart phones out, or the music devices cranked up. "Family time"? Seriously? How quaint; how drole.
She should have followed the traditional First Lady means of tuning out your husband – frequent use of pharmaceuticals.
Conservatives don't vacation on MV because it's almost impossible to purchase any food on a stick other than chocolate-covered ice cream.
Really? REALLY? My gawd, big-ass hairy deal… snark-free, this is just TOO redonkulous…
I have it on good authority she was catching up on "The Best of Rush Limbaugh". This, incidentally, is the briefest recording in the world.
Makes a lot more sense than the earlier suggestion she was listening to a speech of Castro's. They could drive from Martha's Vineyard to Pismo Beach before one of those was over.
He was like a Baptist Preacher: had trouble finding a place to stop.
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