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What's a Ukraine?At this point, we have started to really wonder if Michele Bachmann is just a demented lunatic who flunked 6th grade American History, or if she is actually living in some sort of alternate universe/time continuum. If it is the latter, then maybe everyone else is wrong for not yelling, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELVIS!” and “DEATH TO THE SOVIET UNION!” This is what Michele Bachmann has done in recent days, as she comes down from whatever high she had obtained binge-eating raw butter in Iowa.

Michele Bachmann is very proud of her profound understanding of Americans’ deepest hopes and fears. And she is the only candidate who has noticed how much Americans care about that horrible ongoing war with the Soviet Union!

But today, on the right-wing Christian attorney Jay Sekulow’s radio show, the congresswoman evinced a far more disturbing lack of basic knowledge about world history. Specifically, Bachmann said the American people are worried about “the rise of the Soviet Union.”

Apparently no one’s told her that America’s one-time Cold War nemesis has not existed for 20 years:

BACHMANN: What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward. And especially with this very bad debt ceiling bill, what we have done is given a favor to President Obama and the first thing he’ll whack is five hundred billion out of the military defense at a time when we’re fighting three wars. People recognize that.

Oh, so Obama is a Soviet spy! Yes, let’s go with that. Perhaps we should stop criticizing Michele Bachmann and truly embrace her brain’s ability to defy the passing of years. HA HA JUST KIDDING, oh boy. [ThinkProgress]

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  • Barb

    I'm cool with the Soviet Union. It's the rise of the fucktards, such as Ms Bachmann, that makes me go running screaming into the night.
    By the way, it doesn't look very "Presidential" that you are insulting other nations when you don't have a clue there, Shelly.

  • bagofmice

    Well, you know what they say. Keep f'n that chicken.

    • cheetojeebus

      So, When you go down on it, does it …. taste like chicken?

      • bagofmice

        Pretty much everyone agrees. Communism!

    • tcaalaw

      But it's deficit neutral!

    • DahBoner

      "Keep f'n that chicken."

      Sounds like something a crazy weatherman who believes in Global Warming might say…

    • "Keep f'n that chicken."

      Are we not allowed to say "fuck" on wonkette anymore? It's that Kirsten Boyd Two-Shoes' fault. Easy for her to throw down some rules. I'll bet she even gets paid for what she writes here.

  • subsum

    As long as we don't have to worry about the rise of the Austro-Hungarian Empire…

    • mumbly_joe

      and don't even get me STARTED on the Ottomans.

      • Radiotherapy®

        Gunpowder changed everything.

      • bagofmice

        I'll just put my feet up while you rant.

      • Nostrildamus

        I think several of the Palin girls started on the ottoman.

        • mumbly_joe

          Don't be silly. They'd have TOTALLY different names if that was the case. The closest one of the Palins would be Barstool Palin.

      • arihaya

        are we supposed to be afraid of footstools?

        • Angry_Marmot

          Only if you're ovulating.

          • horsedreamer_1

            According to the latest Harper's, either the Index page or Findings, heterosexual women's GAYDAR becomes keener during ovulation. Not on-topic (of post), but worth pointing out.

    • Wait till she finds out about the Roman Empire and their habit of feeding Xtians to the Lions. She'll want to go to war with the Romans.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Clearly it is the Mongols we have to worry about.

      • flamingpdog

        Genghis Khan, no doubt.

      • mavenmaven

        I thought we were staying away from Palin jokes on this site.

    • arihaya

      well Fox "News" did scared with Caliphate that was abolished 80 years ago …

    • littlebigdaddy

      I'd be happy in the Austro-Hungarian empire, myself: great art, music, cafe culture…beats the shit out of our sad country.

    • RockyRococo

      Maybe you DO have to worry: I recently discovered that the Austro-Hungarian Social Democratic Party owns some land near where I live…and the property taxes are paid up to date.

    • Pat_Pending

      I say we take Crimea!

  • Fare la Volpe

    Michele means business on defense.

    Tomorrow she outlines her 10 point plan for the preservation of our precious bodily fluids.

    • PristinePantalones

      I bet it involves copious quantities of whisky. At least I hope it does. It's the only thing that makes her bearable.

    • memzilla

      "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

    • Nostrildamus

      Preservation of our precious bodily fluids. You'll need

      1 packet of agar
      1 pound of sugar
      3 quarts of precious bodily fluids
      12 pint jelly jars with lids

      • flamingpdog

        Don't forget the Bush fetus.

    • poncho_pilot

      have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

    • Jerri

      Good! I've been worried about my humours lately, and I am pleased to see a candidate willing to stand up and protect them.

      black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, blood/Bachmann 2012!

    • Swampgas_Man

      I thought that was Xtine O'Donnel's schtick.

  • Warpde

    So why didn't she throw in the "Rise of Marcus's dick" among the threatening powers?

    • Fare la Volpe

      It's an impotent threat.

      • GuanoFaucet

        Only around women.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Probably because she's never seen such a thing.

      • Rotundo_

        I was always wondering if the Bachmann chillins were sired by turkey baster. I figure Marcus could ejaculate with a little help from a gladiator movie or something, and Michele could load up the baste-o-matic for delivery to the cervix. I can imagine some incredible shit, but Marcus and Michele fucking isn't one of them.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Most of 'em were purchased somewhere. Probably at Costco, in the economy 12-pack.

          • AlterNewt

            They discontinued the 12-packs. The shrink-wrap made the kids all wrinkly.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Because she ain't seen nothin' yet?

    • Callyson

      Friendly fire. Well, maybe not for her…

  • x111e7thst

    Beware the Kangxi Emperor Michele. I understand he has westward aspirations in key parts of Central Asia.

  • V572 T-Blow

    Ah the good old days, when we had an enemy that was worthy of our weapons systems. Hajjis just aren't worth it.

    • V572, ya mean our paying $160M a pop for F35s may not do a lot to stop some dude headin' to the subways with a bit of ricin in the briefcase?

      • V572 T-Blow

        You can’t win a Bronze Star sitting in your flight suit in a drone-control trailer at Creech AFB, Indian Springs, NV:
        http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Creech AFB, Indian …

        For some reason those Google Maps links won't embed in a text string.

  • tihond

    Michelle Bachmann also believes that "You can’t comprehend fact that Cube4
    simultaneous 24 hour days rotate within same 24 hour rotation of Mother Earth."

    • Fare la Volpe

      So that's why she's in favor of closing the Department of Education. We've been educated evil and dumb by ONE-ism teaching educator Jew swine.

    • HistoriCat

      Time cube libel!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        When you've got David Frum on the record stating: Michele Bachmann's out-beyond-the-Orion-belt substitutions for familiarity with life here on Earth only intensify the admiration of her fan base. – you know the sensible [sic] conservatives are sick of the female brand of crazy. And not the crazy in bed kind that's hot and worth it.

        • Geminisunmars

          Yah. They likes 'em the male version of crazy, all Vitterish or Santorummed.

    • berkeleyfarm

      A classic! *golf clap* from this Usenet veteran.

  • DrunkIrishman

    She's also terrified of the mighty Greek Empire. She fears the re-rise of Alexander the Great.

    • HistoriCat

      There's not enough pray to get rid of that much gay.

    • flamingpdog

      What's purple and conquered the world?

      HINT: It's not Marcus's engorged member.

    • Nostrildamus

      Marcus OH-REALLY-us!

      • Angry_Marmot

        Was he the one they crowned with Judy Garlands?

    • DahBoner

      "She's also terrified of the mighty Greek Empire."

      Well, Marcus is pretty fond of the Spartans…

    • up2itru

      And all his homosexual armies, too!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's gonna take a lot to get a rise out of old Alex at this late date.
      Not that Rosario Dawson doesn't have a decent chance.

  • extreme_left

    but can she see it from her door?

  • pukebot

    oh, don't worry you fucking retard, the u.s. is keeping up with the soviet union. see you in the dustbin of history.

  • PristinePantalones

    Every time I think Michele can't possibly top that last batshit insane statement, she tops it. I'm getting tired of losing to my virtual Michele. I have now decided to embrace her in all her insane glory. That won't stop my eyes from rolling nervously, but hey.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    But God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural bodily fluids.

    • You're just Jack D. Rippin' here Baldar.

  • mumbly_joe

    Actually, given the audience? I wouldn't be surprised if a fair chunk of teabaggers really are worried about the rise of the Soviet Union.

    And the Kaiser. Also too.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Well they are making a sequel to Red Dawn.

      • The filthy Kaiser's minions have infiltrated every bakery in America – not to mention many participating Subways.

        • genxr

          The Kaiser has taken over a large portion of our nation's healthcare. Also. Too.

      • nonbeliever7

        That WAS a documentary… right?

    • LetUsBray

      Chased the Kaiser for dickety-six miles, they did.

    • doloras

      THE KAISER IS A BADDIE!!!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Michele, apparently you didn't get the memo, but you are supposed to be concerned with the threat posed by government workers unions rather than soviet unions these days. Try to keep up!

    • fuflans

      see, michele just wanted to be a bond girl.

      • genxr

        So did Marcus.

        • GOPCrusher

          That just pushed Denise Richards farther down the the list of Hottest Bond Girls.

    • DahBoner

      All unions are thugs.

      Including unions of holy matromony.

      Have you ever seen a bride to be???

  • GuanoFaucet

    Bachmann also lamented the Obama administration's failure to bring Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor, to justice, and that because of this, she feared the War of the Ring would be lost.

    • fuflans

      war of the ring is lost.

      baggers ate the ring.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Dildo T. Baggers

    • arihaya

      if you mean by Sauron is Cheney then yes …. Obama administration's fail to bring him to justice

  • Mort_Sinclair

    She's pure gold. Let's hope she stays in this thing to the bitter end–even as a write-in. Somebody needs to give her a microphone every minute of every day.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      I concur, by the end of this I imagine her being let loose on stage with an ill fitting football helmet and bungee chords.

      • MichelesPantalones

        Remember those hooked thingies they used back in the vaudeville days to drag an entertainer off stage? She was made for those things. (Or they were made for her. Doesn't matter which.)

        • Rotundo_

          Yes, Shepards' crooks (or hooks), an elegantly simple design for keeping livestock, incompetent vaudeville entertainers and hopefully soon, politicians in line. Imagine the visual impact of having one of them yoink!!! someone off the lecterns at a debate. One of the great problems I have in modern political "debate" is that it lavishes too much dignity and decorum on the participants. If the hook came out during some of the "debates" I've sat through, it could have changed history for the better, provided us with yucks and actually made people watch.

          • MichelesPantalones

            You know, I started to say "shepherds' crooks," and then thought, Panty, nobody here will have a clue what yer babbling about, bein' as how shepherdin' ain't something anybody even knows of anybody doin' anymore.

            I forgot I was on teh Wonketz, where people know the strangest things.

            But yes, I would gladly pay Megabux to watch the shepherds' crook come out from behind the curtain and drag Shelly off, screaming..

    • I know what you're saying, Mort, and her crazy does bring the funny, but I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore.

  • Radiotherapy®

    WOLVERINES!1!1!!

    • finallyhappy

      Michigan or Hugh Jackmans?

    • Exactly. That was our Illini fear.

    • DahBoner

      Where on the hand?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    As Nikita Khruschev rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America…

  • Goonemeritus

    Why stop there, I know the Kaiser Wilhelm II is just waiting for us to let our guard down and then it’s up and out of those trenches.

  • Honey Badger Lenin doesn't give a shit.

    • cheetojeebus

      and you win the day. I would "up thumb" you repeatedly, if i could.

    • Negropolis

      I TOTALLY missed this meme. When was it started, and what is it in reference too? 'Cause, I've seen it used a good two dozens times just in the last two days or so.

  • nounverb911

    Genghis Khan?

    Didn't someone just ask a rhetorical question?

  • Radiotherapy®

    Alan West is going to be the best Secretary of Defense ever.

    • MichelesPantalones

      Depends on whether the voices speak to both of them at the same time.

      • Negropolis

        They never do, Pantalones; they never do…

  • noodlesalad

    In Iowa, you can find crazy fundamentalist politicians. In Soviet Union, crazy fundamentalists find YOU!

    • Indiepalin

      Vat a country!

    • DahBoner

      In Soviet Union, crazy fundamentalist is someone who smiles at you on the street….

    • GOPCrusher

      We can see Michele Bachmann from our front porch!

  • Negropolis

    OMG! The Prussians are coming; the Prussians are coming! An elephant; an elephant. My country for an elephant! Quick, y'all. The Southern Rhodesians are also closing in quickly.

    • Radiotherapy®

      She would be all over the Bore War.

      • flamingpdog

        In that case, she would undoubtedly appoint Tim Pawlenty as Secretary of Defenzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

      • Pat_Pending

        *yawn*

  • tihond

    Tomorrow Michelle Bachmann will reveal her new campaign slogan "54-40 or Fight!," replacing her old slogan of "Remember the Maine!"

  • Ima gonna guess that she will also explain how Ronnie Reagan destroyed the Soviet Union single handedly.

  • Beowoof

    Yes Michele America is in decline. If you noticed when the decline started, 1981, and it has continued to this day, you might want to consider policies of republican presidents and legislatures opening the doors to free trade, not fair trade mind you, but free trade, sending our greatest economic engine to China. Manufacturing, is the means to create real wealth, when I heard back in the 80's that those manufacturing jobs going overseas wouldn't be a problem as we had the service industry I cringed. After can we really make it as a world economic power when our real talent is selling each other insurance or manipulating markets to make huge piles of cash for a few.

    Well now Michele there is an entrepreneuer out there who makes this all bearable in the short run, he makes Charles Shaw wine. Affectionately known as two buck chuck, it is all we can afford these days to cope with the moronic economic vision you and others of your ilk. Hasa diga Michele, hasa diga.

    • HelmutNewton

      Don't forget the hobo beans. We gotta eat something!

    • yyyaz

      FTFW. And hasa diga to ALL the wingtards and ALL the eebowais. Also, too, ad infinitum.

  • Nuts!!

    • bagofmice

      T

  • Well laugh all you want, but the only WORKING manned space travel system WAS built by the Soviet Union, and that hasn't changed in 50 years!

    • arihaya

      and we drive cars made by corporation built by Hitler !!

      beware the rise of the Third Reich !!

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        In that vein, I was at Duxford aviation museum a few months back and they have the well preserved remains of a Luftwaffe fighter recovered from southern England. The logo on its engine was the same which graces the front of my current conveyance. It's just not something that crosses your mind until you think about it a bit.

        I still try to avoid anything from Krupp because of that whole slave labour thing.

    • Steverino247

      So, you changed your name to Johnny from Yuri when?

    • horsedreamer_1
    • not that Dewey

      Laika approves of this message.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Well now I'm thinking about My Life as a Dog and getting all sentimental / nostalgic.

        Woof!

    • Negropolis

      What exactly do you mean by "working"? Are you talking an accident ratio, or what?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Well, maybe when Putin is rearing his head over AK, it also makes its way over to MN because his head wants to get an Orange Julius at the Mall of America?

    • flamingpdog

      I'm sure Michele has her eyes out for Orange Julius Rosenberg.

    • Negropolis

      Silly, don't you know that Sarah Palin's Al-Aska Defense Force is impenetrable? He'd never make it east of Fairbanks. Hell, they might not even be able to make it over the Bering Strait. Release the Kraken, Sarah!

      • Texan_Bulldog

        I still love the original Clash of the Titans–that little metal owl & Harry Hamlin were awesome!

    • MichelesPantalones

      I hear the Mall of America is just like the Saddam Hussain's Palace!

  • Negropolis

    Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cause the Red Army rapin' errybody out here.

    • poncho_pilot

      during WWII for sure.

      • Negropolis

        Yeah, I've been watching a repeated loop of PBS' WWII special on Stalin.

    • GregComlish

      Da comrade, we am lookink for ze white women at where are they?

  • Guppy06

    Hey, if this means we'll stop propping up tin-plated dictators in "Kazakh SSR" and the like, she might be worth listening to…

    Nah.

  • SmutBoffin

    What are in those pills she takes, really? Based on the evidence, I can't say that her psychotic symptoms are being held in check, but on the other hand she does seem pretty upbeat and functional.

    Batshit Shelly/psychotropics 2wenty2welve!

    • occams8ball

      you are right! What ever it is, she is apparently having a ball and raking in the benjamins too! If you find out, please share.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Oh, great fucking fuck. The scary bit is that apparently one of every five of our compatriots find this intelligible, and possibly persuasive.

    This is actually a pretty strong argument against evolution.

    • Banelm

      It is the corrupting influence of the liberal agenda, stupidity, even to this high degree, is no longer fatal.

    • MichelesPantalones

      You know, the Neandetals survived for quite a while among populations of Homo sapiens before finally dying out. If they ever died out, that is. (rolls eyes nervously)

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "This is actually a pretty strong argument against evolution."

      Not really … it just might be the case that being stupid and reactionary is a viable survival tactic. I like to think that being intelligent and logical is a viable tactic as well, so maybe, given time, a separate species (homo not-so-sapiens) will arise.

      Actually, given the profound unattractiveness of screechers like Bachmann, Coulter, et al., it's quite possible that separate breeding populations are already at hand.

      • Cicada

        Homo contardius

      • yyyaz

        Mobile homus erectus.

    • Cicada

      All you have to do to be an evolutionary success is breed and have your offspring survive to breeding age. That means the Palins are actually winning at the evolution game. Breed 'em young, before they accidentally shoot themselves while huntin' varmints!

    • not that Dewey

      It's a pretty strong argument against Democracy.

  • __kth__

    Henceforth I call liberal media bias any time it is alleged explicitly or implicitly that Michele Bachmann has her shit together more than Sarah Palin does.

    • Negropolis

      Well, she can string a set of sentences together to make a technically coherent paragraph. The only problem is that the substance of it doesn't making any fucking sense, whatsoever. So, in that latter fashion, Bachmann and Palin are on equally crazing footings.

      • MichelesPantalones

        Actually, Michele's proving herself to be stupider than Sarah. Palin got a few things whoppingly wrong, but she was careful to stick to incomprehensible word salads liberally (ha!) leavened with popular conservative catchphrases. MishMash keeps trying to talk about reality, something with which she is deeply and obviously unfamiliar. In a death match between the two, I regret to announce I have switched my allegiance back to Sarah. She may be sinking like a stone, but she's not as craycray as MishMash. Yet.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          One is stupid, one is crazy: Pick your poison. (Or potion, if you want to toss O'Donnell into the mix.)

          • Negropolis

            I'd pick crazy nearly every time. Crazy folks have lucid moments; they can even understand you. Stupid is forever. Sorry Sarah.

  • owhatever

    She is living proof that strange things have taken place in Area 51, and that some of them have escaped, and walk amongst us.

    • finallyhappy

      I'm pretty sure any aliens that could get here-including one cell organisms- are smarter than Shelly Crazyeyes

    • Steverino247

      Aliens at Area 51 is a cover story for nuking the shit out of Nevada. Look at how close Area 51 is to the testing site and you'll never believe that bullshit again.

      • HistoriCat

        Oh sure – that's just what they want you to think. You're part of the conspiracy, aren't you?

    • up2itru

      Will the earth stand still one day soon?

  • bumfug

    The one true sign of an "unstoppable decline" would be to elect Michele Bachmann to anything ever again.

  • FannyBurney

    I'd love to hear her take on the midnight ride of Paul Revere.

  • JoshuaNorton

    OOOOHHHH COMMIES! SCAAARRRYY COMMIES!

    1958 called, they want you back.

  • fuflans

    if i were the british empire my ears would be burning.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I take great comfort that people like her, and Christian futurists like that Ankleberg dude and Hal Lindsey are just dead wrong. I get nervous, because there's millions of people who have no problem believing all these "dead wrong" assholes.

  • fuflans

    hey shells, speaking of rise of india. do you remember that one time when your pretend boyfriend ('sucking face on the floor of congress') president reversed decades of nonproliferation policy and signed that nuclear cooperation bill with india?

    yeah, i didn't think so.

  • not that Dewey

    The Soviets put guns over deep-fried butter.

    • DahBoner

      "‘The bigger I get, the better I feel. I feel more confident and sexy. Why shouldn't I push the limits and see how fat I can get and stay healthy?’"

      Michelle weighs less than 800 pounds.

      Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too skinny for Teatards…

      • not that Dewey

        Teatards like to weigh 800 lbs, but none of them will find Susanne Eman attractive. The men assume that Palin, Bachmann, SE Cupp, Monica Crowley et al, will find them irresistible. A double-wide standard, if you will.

        inre: The picture of Ms Eman and her sister. Is that rebar in her thigh?

  • CapnFatback

    ♫ Bach in the U.S., Bach in the U.S., Bach in the U.S.S.R! ♪

  • zappadoo76

    This is a cheap shot. She misspoke. Try running your mouth as much as she does, and you will misspeak, too. She is also psychotic, but that is an entirely different matter.

    • Negropolis

      "Leave Britney ALONE!" Waaaaaah!!!!!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not Meant to Be a Factual Statement™

    • JimNauseam

      Hmmm.

    • not that Dewey

      Does this mean we can't ridicule Chuck Todd, either?

      • horsedreamer_1

        You mean Pudding-cup Beard?

        • not that Dewey

          Fuck Toad? Yes. The very same.

          I like this idea of "it's not my fault; I just run my mouth off 24 hours a day, therefore I'm entitled to say stupid shit"; it gives a free pass to the worst kind of FuckToadian/GlennBeckian mindrot that every befouled the airwaves.

    • glamourdammerung

      Also, try taking as many "headache pills" as Michele does. You would probably tend to misspeak as well.

  • user-of-owls

    There's some Red Scare nostalgia tea floating around in the circles of loud madness these days. Much to my chagrin, I heard a snatch of Limbaugh spouting over and over again how everyone is ignoring the Chi-Coms. The fucking Chi-Coms??

    I think the last person who used that in straightforward fashion must have been H.R. Haldeman. And that odious little war criminal Kissinger probably giggled at HR for being so unhip.

    Chi-Coms? I mean what the fucking fuck?

    • Radiotherapy®

      And here I thought they were just another group of exploitive capitalists.

    • not that Dewey

      He was reaching for the phrase "缩骨,眼睛的蒙古人", but he's too fat.

      • user-of-owls

        You and your people are inscrutable. It drives us 西部海洋幽灵 absolutely crazy!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Well what do you expect? Limbaugh is just a lacky of the capitalist running dogs, anyway.

      Oh, wait, so are the Chi-Coms, these days.

    • flamingpdog

      The Chi-Coms lost to the Texas Rangers today, and are five games out in the American League Central.

    • poncho_pilot

      Chi-Com? what is that? a Chinese cell phone carrier? i think Rush has been reading too much Clancy or something.

      • genxr

        He's right. Chi-Com is poised to dominate the mobile tablet market. Just you wait.

    • The Czech AKs and SKSs were far superior to the fucking Chi-Com versions. But draft-dodging ass-boiled Rushikins wouldn't know about that now would he?

    • MichelesPantalones

      You must not read too many RWNJ sites. 1. They have never stopped talking about the possibility of war with China (Lynn Cheney stated it most openly); 2. There's plenty of talk about Chi-Coms among the RWNJ marching morons.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Chicago Commies — like, you know, Obama.

    • Jukesgrrl

      ChiCom: Isn't it a website where you order your General Tso chicken? What could be wrong with that?

  • We don't have to worry about the Soviet Union. Their inevitable decline as a world power and ultimate collapse and breakup began in earnest with the invasion of Afghanistan in 1979…

    At least our more enlightened leaders know enough not to fight in the deserts and mountain wastelands of that benighted country.

    • poncho_pilot

      the Soviet Union "fell victim to one of the classic blunders–the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia."

    • tcaalaw

      I wish I could give you a dozen more upfists for that!

  • carlgt1

    jeez, Repugs just can't seem to think outside of this antiquated Cold War mentality, do they? It's like they're still reading Condi's old thesis…

    • MichelesPantalones

      They're all living in some distant, mythical past. One in which Condi's school would get bombed repeatedly, killing her classmates, but that's another story.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    “the Rise of the Soviet Union"? Call me a skeptic but I'll wait for the Chuck Norris Op Ed.

  • She's got it all wrong…it's Ghangis Kahn we should be worried about.

    • Radiotherapy®

      On that one, she just might be right.

      • flamingpdog

        The Father of his Country, or at least half of it.

      • BTWBFDIMHO

        She'd marry him.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I'm more worried by this Dschinghis Khan bunch.

    • peaceshelly

      No that one is ok. She thinks he is the owner of Ghengis Grill, a chain of mongolian restaurants. He is a small business owner and thus is personally responsible for about 7 million jobs. Small business owners rule! No New Taxes!!!

      • Radiotherapy®

        They also offer a military discount for the Troopz. Never forget the Troopz. And Puppies too.

  • Doktor Zoom

    On the upside, she wouldn't be mocked today if she said there was no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      You underestimate today's Conservative movement.

  • Troglodeity

    I just checked Wikipedia … and damn if she isn't right!

    • Negropolis

      You keep checking Wikipedia, and eventually it'll be right.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Far right.

  • MozakiBlocks

    My brain hurts

  • AtlanticCapers

    Odd, isn't it. She's not stuck on the Soviet Union. She's stuck on the "rise" of the Soviet Union. I don't think she was even born by the "rise" of the Soviet Union.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Soviet will rise again!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I thought the Birchers had updated their spiel.

  • Neoyorquino

    We're all afraid of the Russians: http://youtu.be/AVf7m_YZ2zY

  • El Pinche

    It's the migraine pills talking again.

  • flamingpdog
  • Negropolis

    OT: With Michigan's governor Rick Snyder seeing the major push-back against the union-busting bill in Ohio, he called on the Michigan Supreme Court, yesterday, to fasttrack the challenge to Michigan's Emergency Financial Manager's (EFM) law, popularly known as the "financial martial law" law. Apparently, the group that wants to put the repeal of the law on the ballot may be literally days or a week or two from getting enough signatures to put it on the ballot, and he wants to take the thing right up to the Supreme Court so that they can judge it constitutional, thus granting is some kind fo respectability.

    We get this thing on the ballot (poll after poll shows the thing is wildly unpopular), there is no way he Dems don't do well in Ohio and Michigan, next year. Not just that, but there are shadowy groups using robocalls warning people against signing any petitions in Michigan (which is currently in the midst of recall fever), saying that the petitions are sent overseas and that your identity could be compromised. The GOP is killing themselves up here in the Great Lakes, and it only took them half-a-year to do it. Thanks.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      As I understand the EFM law, it allows unelected "experts" to take over any governmental board deemed unfit and to abrogate any labour contract (especially union-won labour contracts) that are "detrimental" to the financial fitness of said board/municipality/whatever. Is that correct? I'm just repeating what I've been told by friends in the mitten state.

      edit: and without any pure metric for deeming somewhere unfit or for what counts as detrimental.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Yes. It's sort of a "gateway" law, that leads to bigger and better authoritarianism.

      • Negropolis

        That pretty much sums it up. The actual law has been around forever, since 1990, when a Democratic governor signed it into law, though, I can't remember if he was essentially forced to do it by the legislature, or if it was his idea.

        To be honest, be have begrudingly been at least neutral to the law since its inception since it's been used so rarely. What people are objecting to specifically is Snyder increasing the powers of the EFM's, which was totally unnecessary, and just shows a kind of blatant power grab. They can now wipe out schools boards, city councils, etc…and all of their contracts on a whim. The increased powers have now been officially used in Benton Harbor, Pontiac, and Detroit Phblic Schools, specifically.

        They are nominally accountable to the governor, but the everyone knows that the governor doesn't bother him or herself with the municipalities given all of the other issues of the state. So these are basically dictators. Hell, the EFM for Pontiac lives in Kalamazoo, and was looking for a job down in Florida back in January. The one for Benton Harbor is all the way from the otherside of the state in Detroit. Not only do these guys wield such incredible power, but it's clear most of them half-ass the job. They rarely know about the communities they take over, which is really what gets people mad. It'd be different, perhaps, if these were engaged, well-meaning guys, but most of them are literally phoning it in. Sometimes, the disempowered mayors and city councils can't even get a hold of the EFMs.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          So is it becoming a "jobs for the boys" type shoo-in for the politically connected? That's what I'm getting from your explanation. Well, that with an extra soucon of union-busting.

          • Negropolis

            It's more of the latter. Snyder's friends aren't getting these jobs (most wouldn't want them). I truly believe this is Snydder wanting to run his government "like a business" since he's a businessman. He doesn't seem to get that running a government and running a business aren't the same thing, and that government is purposefully designed to run more slowly.

            I wouldn't say he has a comtempt for public input from citizens like some of the other Republican governors, but I would say that he seems genuinely confused as to why community buy-in to his plans are necessary and important. He seems to think that he's a corporate CEO that can just move pieces around and make things happen instantly exactly the way he wants them to, and that's not how government works.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Oh god no, running a business and running any kind of government are utterly goddamn different. One is for profit, the other is for the blasted people – the people who elected you*. I'm utterly flummoxed by anyone who confuses the two – it's the basis of the bloody constitution, right?

            Let alone when you get a powerful seat. By that I mean governor, or president, or whatever. You inherit a gigantic staff of lifetime bureaucrats whose intent is to stay in the job primarily and then secondarily to help you a bit. Congresspeople or Senators not so much, but find yourself in a position of power and that's what you get.

            No, running any kind of governmental unit as a "business" is idiocy.

            * This is brought up in the rather good British comedy Yes, Minister from the 80s, which you may already know. The balance of power between elected and established figures within any bureaucracy.

          • James Michael Curley

            Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister should be required viewing in anything that has pretense to being a Civics class or a Poli Sci course.

          • Jukesgrrl

            W. Bush was a CEO president. Are you saying that didn't work??

          • not that Dewey

            From his point of view, it worked as well as any of his other business ventures did: he mismanaged it into the ground, extracted whatever value he could at the last minute, and left the remaining stakeholders holding a sack of shit.

            Mission Accomplished!

          • Nothingisamiss

            According to friends of mine, it would've, but somehow the demoncrats are at fault. Apparently the good economy was a mirage under Clinton, and something, something, economy crash due to lie-bruls …and so Obama's horrible, and the economy is his fault.

            I just report the news, you decide.

  • How 'bout "the rise of Eurasia"? (That's what they called it my 2nd grade class.. old maps I guess, or maybe stupid teachers and pants-shitting fear)..
    It combines everything into one, Michele. Just like your stupid simpleton simplefuck brain.

    • 2nd grade for me was making papier-mâché masks styled after those of the tribes in the Belgian Congo between rounds of duck & cover drills under our little desks.

      • Jukesgrrl

        The first time I ever heard of the Belgian Congo was when my parents got all dressed up for their anniversary and went to see The Nun's Story. My mother to this day has that annoying habit of coming home from a movie and telling the entire story from beginning to end. Duck and cover is right.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, we have always been at war with Eastasia.

  • Her train of thought is a single broken down caboose.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      … on narrow-gauge track.

  • mavenmaven

    BUILD MORE WALLS!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      At least under Reagan there was a pielaser-in-the-sky boondoggle, which had the advantage of sounding kinda future-y. Now all anyone nuts-Repub is talking about is a big-ass fence.

  • poncho_pilot

    hey, Michele! bend over in the mirror and say the acronym for Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. hehe.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      I see bi marcus?

      • poncho_pilot

        nice but not juvenile enough.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta
  • Michelle is a nesting doll of the crazy! In reverse, though. Each statement is ever more insane and stupid than the last one. Strap yourselves in Wonketteers.

  • James Michael Curley

    Obama takes out another dreaded tyrant.

    The King is Dead!
    http://apnews.myway.com//article/20110819/D9P7F4B

    • But Ronald McLaden still stands.
      He's the real leader of the dietary terrorist movement.

      • genxr

        Colonel Sanders will rise again, and beat back this Yankee agression!

    • Negropolis

      The King is Dead! Long Live the King!

      Dairy Queen will be coronated, shortly.

    • flamingpdog

      Michele is pissed! Obama took out her long-lost brother!

  • bflrtsplk

    Everyone here realizes that this woman says this crazy shit to draw attention to herself, right?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Actually, she has no idea that it's crazy.

    • peaceshelly

      No, Im pretty sure she is crazy… She isn't smart enough to make that crazy=attention connection.

    • LetUsBray

      The consensus is that she believes the crazy shit and is convinced she needs to say it in order to save America from gheys and communists/negroes in the White House.

    • Negropolis

      You're thinking of Palin. Bachmann is a true believer.

  • Palin/Bachmann's worst fears: Soviet Union and it's foreign intelligence arm, "Amtrak" want a tunnel between the US and Siberia. Can this be how the FEMA Death Trains will be taking patriots to the Gulags???
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44212283/ns/world_new

  • comrad_darkness

    it's the rise of the Michele Bachmans in Russia that destroyed the Soviet Union. Full circle bitches.

  • As a wise man once said: Fucking tea baggers who don't know fucking shit about history, how government works or basic facts are forced to repeat it every fucking few years, because they're fucking ignorant fucks. Seriously, every week have to retell these mental midgets, no offense to midgets, how things work. Their one or two great memories are 'get your government intervention out of my government benefits' and 'running a country is as simple as how I balance my checkbook.'

    • genxr

      'running a country is as simple as how I balance my checkbook.'

      This whole crisis could have been avoided if Congress would just open a Mint.com account.

    • DahBoner

      " 'running a country is as simple as how I balance my checkbook."

      Except whenever there is a surplus, they think it's theirs.

      And when there's a deficit, they think it's the banks fault.

      CHECKBOOK BALANCE FAIL

  • unclejeems

    Closer to home, their are rumblings in Mexico City. Looks like the Aztecs are on the rise again. Blood sacrifices all around!

    And you're right about the effing tea-tards.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Are you sure it's not the Mayans? 2013 is right around the corner, you know.

  • Troubledog

    I'd hit that.

    • flamingpdog

      With a flaming sword of Yahweh, yeah. Or even just a regular flaming sword.

    • Negropolis

      I'd hit it…with a 10-point Gallup poll.

      • Troubledog

        "I'd hit that" is really the only response to any mention of Michele Bachmann. I like it because it transcends any pretense of criticism, and goes straight to value-based objectification (i.e., has a vagina, presumably low mileage, probably suppressing her secret freak, girl got the crazy eye, etc ).

  • genxr

    needz moar shoe pounding

    • Sweet!

    • DahBoner

      In rhythm to fapping..

    • flamingpdog

      If I rememberz correctly, the original shoe pounding took place at the UN. I don't see Michele getting with 900 miles of that teatard House of the Unholies.

      • not that Dewey

        Although she is a jerk, a stooge, a lackey, and a toady of American imperialism.

        • flamingpdog

          Now if you can't say something nice about a person …. then come on over and talk to me.

  • snoringdogstudio

    The comments here are as hilarious as the post! I don't fear the Soviet Union. I fear Texas.

  • HelmutNewton

    This is not surprising, given how the teabaggers have been hysterically whining about the communist menace. Give Bachmann and the 'baggers about 50 years, and they'll catch up to 2011.

  • north_of_moscow

    This is just viral marketing for that Red Dawn remake. Or are they making a Rocky 4.1? More Spies, More Likes Us? Dr. Strangerlove? The Manchu… oh wait, never mind, they already did that one. Uh, Rambo: Fifth Blood? Whiter Nights? My point is, this has to be intentional. Nobody is that dumb, right?

    • zhubajie

      First principle of historical research: Never Underestimate Stupidity!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Crazier than Ron Paul!
    Dumber than Rick Santorum!
    More ignorant than a room full of rednecks!
    Able to leap to insane conclusions in a single bound!
    Na na nana na na nana na na na nuh nananananuh…BACH-MANN!!!

      • DahBoner

        Hey!!!!!!!

        Some people are trying to eat egg and cheese sam'miches around here…

      • flamingpdog

        No Hoveround ads allowed at Wonkette, thank you very much.

  • Hey Michele,

    1978 called. They want their hairstyle, makeup, and mindset back.

    Sincerely,
    Sharkster Atkins

  • owhatever

    I spent most of my life worrying about the Soviet Union before they found out that running a conquering military system costs too much money and their economy blew up. We hoisted the flag of victory on the Cold War, then spent ourselves into the same hole, which is where we are today. Michele is simply refining the lyrics to a new country song.

    • I'm not looking forward to lining up for toilet paper.

      • AJWjr.

        But there will be vodka, look on the bright side!

    • Radiotherapy®

      They've spent most of the last decade worrying about islamofundamentalist bogie men who use terrorism as a tactic before they found out that running a conquering military system costs too much money and their economy blew up. We hoisted the flag of victory with "Mission Accomplished," then spent ourselves into the same hole, which is where we are today. Michele is simply refining the lyrics to a new country song called "Fear: We Never Learn."

    • flamingpdog

      Is her dog gonna die, her truck break down, or is Marcus gonna leave her?

      • AJWjr.

        Steve Goodman's gonna have to write another verse…

  • DahBoner

    I like those pretty easter eggs they have over there…

  • Serious OT but DKos libtards are being arrested outside of the WH (including Jane Hamsher) for protesting the tarsands pipeline – Bill McKibben gave a speech earlier. Anyone in DC what can get over there and find out what's happening? It's complete blackout on major networks and cable.

    • McKibben was just arrested.

    • DahBoner

      Don't be silly!

      Thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of people protesting the Iraq war or a tarsands pipeline isn't a "movement" or "revolution".

      A revolution or movement is when a dozen or so Teatards are paid to show up at a rally by Dick Armey….

      • El Pinche

        Dahboner wins the day

    • Well, the President isn't there, so it's a great time to protest if you want his attention. Wait, what?

      • Total media blackout so even if the president cared he probably wouldn't know if he's watching the prison show on MSNBC.

        • Well, a couple of points: 1) As near as I can tell, the 65 people they arrested were the entirety of the protest, and I'm betting a group that small demonstrating outside the WH is not a particularly unusual occurrence no matter the issue. 2) If you want to publicize an issue by protesting in front of the WH, you probably couldn't pick a worse time than the last two weeks of August. The entire Congress is gone, the president is gone, which means a great deal of the press corps is gone as well, either off covering the president's vacay or on vacations of their own. August is a lousy time to publicize just about anything, but particularly in D.C. because the government is practically on a de facto shutdown.

          EDIT: I mean, the Prez isn't supposed to be making a decision on this pipeline until the end of the year. Why not hold this protest in September when he's in town and has to see it every time he looks out the window or takes Bo for a walk on the South Lawn? Talk about shooting themselves in the foot.

          • That's a good point(s) about holding it in August – and when you say 65 people, that sounds like nothing, really. Was all caught up in the libtard furor of the moment, I guess. Now I'm all 'whatever, bro.'

          • This pipeline does sound like a terrible idea and I hope it doesn't happen. But resistance to it would have to be seen as much wider and deeper than a few dozen people sitting outside the WH gates to get the president's attention, or even the media's.

      • Cicada

        You might enjoy this: http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2011/

        It's pretty close to my own feelings. To paraphrase a certain morally weak unicorn-raper: "I'm not against all protests, just dumb ones".

        • Thanks for that. I agree with it. I think we've built the presidency up into such a personality cult that we think a president just snaps his fingers and makes things happen. It's just simply not the case.

    • Well, the whole thing sounded like it ended quietly and politely. McKibben promises that this is "just day one" but he's in the pokey, now, so there goes the figurehead.

      • Cicada

        If this group has any organizing experience at all (and they do), I'm sure that the arrests were figured in to the plan. Most of the protests I've been involved in had a contingent of people who planned on doing actions that would lead to their arrest. The arrests are part of the strategy for drawing attention to the cause.

        See: Dan Choi chaining himself to the WH gates.

        • Too true – and the D.C. police have been trained in how to deal with protestors since the Nixon administration.

          • They say they are planning on being there every day until September 3, so McKibben will be back. He's not sitting in jail for the next two weeks on a disturbing the peace charge.

        • AJWjr.

          Hey, jail is a strategy. Look what it did for Joan Baez' career. Marrying David Harris gave her so much to sing for and make $$$ until he was released from jail and lost any value as a rallying point, so hello divorce court…

  • up2itru

    Perhaps she should connect with Rasputin … I'm sure their "religious" view would change the Tsar's mind …

  • genxr

    First she wants to throw the Czars out of Washington, then she worries about the rise of the Soviet Union. She's a history lesson come to life!

  • crybabyboehner

    That son of a bitch Castro is shitting all over us!

    • DahBoner

      Bomb Miami Beach!!!

  • I don't know, you guys, she and Marcus could be way ahead of the game, what with the distressing rise of Kosyginism and all…

    • DahBoner

      The Kardashians are coming..

    • flamingpdog

      Now that's a name I never quite figured on seeing again in my lifetime.

  • I'm having problems with my Micheles. Isn't this one married to the President of the Still United States? Surely she has the President's ear, post-climax?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      There's an L of a difference.

      Think of the L as a chromosome: you really, really need two of them.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    I understand Her Truthness is worry about the rise of the Soviet Union, but what about the rise of India????? We need a strong army to stop India, one of the less offensive countries in the world? "People recognize that"?
    True, India's economy is growing, but its GDP is still smaller that Texas' GDP.

    • DahBoner

      We must stop India or all of our rundown motel rooms will reek of curry…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Brown people. A billion of 'em.

      Any other questions?

    • Negropolis

      No kidding. India's legislature makes our own look downright functional.

  • DahBoner

    "If it is the latter, then maybe everyone else is wrong for not yelling, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELVIS!”"

    Obviously, God is not a substitute for LSD…

  • voodooeconomics

    Not that good Iowa raw butter but that 12 inch long corn dog has done something for this woman.
    I am just glad we have the Soviets to worry about. For a minute i thought we might have a Chinese problem.

    • zhubajie

      She may have confused the two countries.

      There are End-of-the-World experts who've discovered that Revelation predicts nuclear war between China and the US.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Jesus, did you guys doctor that photo of her? She looks like a Zombie about to suck the brains out of the head of anyone who appears… I dunno. Levelheaded?

    • not that Dewey

      It didn't require doctoring. She deliberately took to the airwaves looking like that.

    • Rotundo_

      People keep talking about folks doctoring photos to make her look crazy. She is crazy, Charles Manson with a swastika on his forehead looks more rational than Michele. There is a difference between manipulated crazy and the genuine article: You can turn off the manipulated version. I have never seen a photograph of this woman where she doesn't look like she's about to pull a weapon or scream, or both. You can't maintain that for this long a time without being the real deal. Michele is delusional in so many ways and well and truly so.

      • genxr

        I'll bet Charles Manson with a swastika on his forehead isn't worried about the rise of the Soviet Union.

        • Radiotherapy®

          You know who liked swastika's and was worried about the Soviet Union? Well, except that whole Molotov-Ribbentrop thing. Take note Bachmann: a Bolton-Putin Pact could hold them off whilst the Alan West run Army takes care of the Chi-Coms.

        • Negropolis

          No, he's just worried about the upcoming race wars.

          • Radiotherapy®

            ♪ ♫ Michele, ma helter-skelter belle ♪ ♫

  • MonsterAGoGo

    Next up, Michelle will demand an explanation from Obama why he refuses to waterboard Gavrilo Princip.

    • Limeylizzie

      Awesome.

    • Radiotherapy®

      He's too busy riding around in his armored cars and taking vacations in Martha's Vineyard.

    • flamingpdog

      How old is Gav now? 120 or so? More likely he will be shuffleboarded.

  • ttommyunger

    …Not meant to be a factual statement. Nothing is….ever.

  • peaceshelly

    "…and what's with all the vampires? They are from places like Transylvania and The Congo!!! And the other day, I was at the mall and because of the rolling blackouts, a few of my Tea Party supporters and I were stranded on the escalator for hours!!!

  • BarackMyWorld

    In Soviet Union, outdated references make you!

    • MiniMencken

      Наше дело правое!

  • horsedreamer_1

    Looks like somebody got Jay Baruchel's The Trotsky on Netflix.

  • Negropolis

    Michele always says that everything she needed learn, she learned in Iowa. Iowa must be terrified by her endorsement of the state's education system and society, because isn't Iowa one of the better states when it comes to the quality of primary education?

    • zhubajie

      Yes, it is. Probably she unlearned it all at Oral Roberts U!

    • AJWjr.

      And she moved from Iowa when she was 13 years old, about the time most thinking persons actually begin to learn.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Republicans really do still think it's still the 1920s.

  • All Power to the Soviets!

    Too late?

  • MiniMencken

    Just bought a September, 1952 issue of Life Magazine, for the pictures of Japanese atomic bomb victims, which had just been released following seven years of censorship by the US Army occupation hierarchy. The letters-to-the-editor section had a series of missals chiding the magazine for its bias against the great American patriot from Wisconsin, Senator Joe McCarthy. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose…

  • So, I tune into my weekend Wonkette to see if anybody has any inside poop on whether Moomoo Kadaver is dead or in Madagascar, and everybody here is all ooh, ooh, Jane Hamsher got arrested, ooh, ooh, Burger King is changing their mascot, O.K., I mean that stuff is important, too, and Obama's Martha's Vinyard vacation and all, eh, whatever, I'll check back later.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      That's cause they haven't let editors get cable TV yet.

  • Winston_Blake

    Sodom Hussein Obama is just a lawn jockey for the corporate welfare plantation.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0M0tCA2FDI

  • 102415

    These are the people who home school their kids.

  • zhubajie

    There are some fundies who claim the Soviet Union never collapsed, just pretended to, to lure us into vulnerability. She might be listening to them. More likely, her mind never left it's 13th year.

    • V572 T-Blow

      Wull, if the Soviet Union didn't collapse, what are we supposed to do with all these intercontinental ballistic missiles in silos and submarines, sub- and supersonic long-range bombers, a 600-ship navy, $150M/each-fighters, bases in Germany and Korea and Japan, huh? Answer me that!

      • zhubajie

        >

        • V572 T-Blow

          Must have missed the post in which the “greater than” symbol acquired meaning. Explanation, please?

        • Negropolis

          Yeah, again, stop fuckin' doing that. Thanks,

        • ?

        • Negropolis

          Zhub, you trying to get someone to report you?

    • 102415

      It's part of the end of the world thing for her religion. It sounds nutty to us but they know what she means.

  • x111e7thst

    красный метель поднимается

    • With teh Michele isn't it a cheeky rendition of ♪Bad Moon Rising♪ ?

  • BZ1

    I knew it, Michi is living in 1991…

  • DashboardBuddha

    I'm just surprised that her handlers aren't saying she was using the Soviet Union as a metaphor for China because Michelle is clever and doesn't want to alert our ChiCom masters about her plans.

  • JimNauseam

    Obama should appoint her Ambassador to the Soviet Union.

    • flamingpdog

      Please, don't give him any ideas! Reaching across the aisle and all, ya know?

    • BlueStateLibel

      Actually, that could be a great idea. Sent her over to Moscow, and put her in a little office where she could pretend to be real important, Putin would probably laugh and not mind. Maybe send Rick Perry over to the Ottoman Empire. It'd be a great way to get rid of the Repug nuts and they wouldn't know the difference.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Condi might get jealous, though.

  • not that Dewey

    "The appeasers were blinded by the great red of the Soviets."

  • For the people out there that work with the intertubes, this may bring you a few laughs (Parody about the tech industry's greatest ongoing comedy, HP)
    http://www.phinvert.com

  • BlueStateLibel

    Looks like it's over for Col. Daffy. And poor Wolf Blitzer had to drag his ass in on a Sunday night–these brown people always make things so inconvenient.

    • Negropolis

      This is why I'll regret Colbert and Stewart going on vacation for two weeks. I think a few others are, too. I think the late-night network guys have been gone for two weeks, already.

  • Well besides James Michael Curley report that the Anus Burger King is dead, it looks like Gaddafi is circling the drain in Libya.

    But Barry's watch baggin' two in one day, plus Osama – remember that dude a while back, won't be enough for the Teatards, just sayin'.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Maybe he'll remind people that the Colonel was a state sponsor of terrorism in the 80s….and no one will care.

      • Cicada

        Sure, whatevs. WHY ARENT WE BOMBING IRAN YET?!?!? Demrats hate America, that's why.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Kinda OT (and maybe not at all, since it includes this very Bachmann insanity), but Rachel Maddow had a pretty good analysis of why there are so many "more than a gadfly, less than a contender" candidates out there:

    There`s a reason why more than a gadfly, less than a contender conservative candidacies are an important part of the way Republicans run for president. When Alan Keyes ran for president in the year 2001, one of the concrete outcomes of that was him getting a TV show on the cables, which not only paid him, of course, but also helped him maintain his influence. He ran for president again in 2008 and runs for Senate every time you turn around…

    There is a reason that there is not a broad Democratic Party parallel here. I mean, there are individual Democratic candidates here and there who have tried to do the same thing, but the Republicans do this wholesale. Every year, a lot of their candidates are following this path, and that`s because the conservative movement that overlaps with, but is not the same thing as the Republican Party, the conservative is in constant need of conservative celebrities. They`ve created this market and they needed a product to sell to that market.

    Becoming a conservative media celebrity is really a remunerative things, speaking tours, and the publications and the books clubs, and the direct mail, and the giant TV network and smaller TV networks, and the religious TV networks — the conservative movement needs celebrities, people who whether or not they have won political offices are famous for being conservative.

    • BarackMyWorld

      This seems true…For every 1 Al Sharpton, you have 5 Pat Buchanans, Mike Huckabees, Sarah Palins, Newt Gingriches, and Christine O'Donnells.

      • A big difference is that the Repubs got famous for running fake presidential or senatorial campaigns while Al Sharpton was famous (or infamous) on his own long before he was on MSNBC.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    I just saw a US flag being waved in Benghazi. That's pretty damn awesome.

    edit: French flag, too. Rack this up as another very smart policy win for Bammaz.

    • Of course the WSJ is already shitting on Bamz without using his name:

      Having helped to midwife the rebel advances with air power, intelligence and weapons, NATO will have some influence with the rebels in the days ahead. The shame is how much faster Gadhafi might have been defeated, how many fewer people might have been killed, and how much more influence the U.S. might now have, if America had led more forcefully from the beginning.

      • BarackMyWorld

        If Obama could walk on water, the WSJ's headline would read "Obama can't swim."

        • Doktor Zoom

          "DC Black Man Drives Eccentric CEO Into Homelessness"

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          Obama lays on hands and cures a kid's leukemia:

          "Obama further erodes job prospects in the healthcare sector"

        • not that Dewey

          DRUDGE: OBAMA UNLEASHES MUSLIM HORDES ON UN MEMBER STATE

        • El Pinche

          It's WSJ…another Murdoch rag. Needs moar phone hacking.

      • Cicada

        I was wondering what the right-wing spin would be. Some of the GOP candidates have been saying we shouldn't have gotten involved at all, so it's *ahem* fortuitous that the WSJ has provided an argument that lets them have their cake and eat it too.

        Oh, and it's lovely that they play up the "timidity" of the American response. Gah, so stupidly predictable.

        • I seem to recall this was one argument of the GOP when NATO first got involved. We should be leading the bombing campaign, not deferring to the French and British! Obama doesn't believe in our exceptionalism! He's making us look second-rate to the rest of the world! America does not lead from behind!

          These guys, always concerned with what America does from behind.

          • DarwinianDemon

            Yup, Lindsay Graham and McCain were on the teletubes complaining we didn't launch a full scale war in Libya.

          • Cicada

            You're right. Romney has made the same argument as well. I suppose the real objection is to the idea that we collaborated with international forces at all. Unless they're in the coalition of the willing, of course.

            ETA: Hahaha, The real objection always has been and always will be that there's a Dem President. Double penalties because he's black.

      • Odd though it seems, the NATO airpower intervention in support of the rebels may have been the best way to do things. Sending U.S. or European troops would have been a disaster in many ways. The UN doesn't do invasions (they don't really do peacekeeping but that is a secret) so making it impossible for Gaddafi's mechanized forces to overwhelm the rebels worked as ell as anything could.

        Oh, and by the way the WSJ can suck my dick.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          Yep, NATO has been top notch in this, and as I understand it the US has been excellent on the ground providing comms, intelligence and strategy support.

          This is a win for Libya. Let's keep our fingers crossed for a peaceful transfer of power.

          With luck, we should see Gaddafi heading to the ICC very very soon – hopefully he'll be captured tonight.

          • Radiotherapy®

            This reminds me of another little success well ignored and forgotten. Didn't NATO and Clinton figure a way out of the Balkans with minimal bloodshed and a peaceable resolution? Of course, a blowjob and Linda Tripp overshadowed a tempered response to a crisis and a sensible use of the military (without doubling the defense budget).

          • not that Dewey

            Failure to double the defense budget is itself an act of treason. And that other thing — something about the Anti-miscegenation Amendment?

            Clearly, a constitutional crisis either way.

        • NATO played this exactly right. The Arab League asked for help, the UN asked for help, and NATO responded in a way that allowed the Libyan people to really take the lead and own their own revolution. They will probably have some struggles over the next months, just like Egypt has had, but for now just shedding themselves of Gadhaffi after 42 years is a great thing, and it was organic (as opposed to the US invading and taking him out and imposing democracy on the country.)

          If Assad had half a brain he'd see this kind of thing is inevitable and start planning a peaceful transition plan immediately. And if Netanyahu had half a brain he'd be on the next plane to the U.N. to present a genuine two-state plan. Unfortunately between them I don't think those two guys have half a brain.

          • Doktor Zoom

            The Arab League asked for help, the UN asked for help, and NATO responded in a way that allowed the Libyan people to really take the lead and own their own revolution.

            Sounds to me like there's entirely too many foreigners involved here. I bet most of 'em are Muslims, too–SHARIA LAW!!!!!!

          • Negropolis

            NATO played this exactly right. The Arab League asked for help, the UN asked for help

            This is probably the most important point of the whole thing, and it's why I get pissed when I here people trying to make this the "third war", as if it is at all similar to Afghanistan or Iraq. Obama begrudgingly was dragged into this, thank goodness, and it's good that our fingerprints aren't over the entire thing. This is truly a coaltion of the willing. This is how all military interventions should be when they are absolutely unavoidable.

            To piggy-back on this, it's why I get even more pissed when I hear some smug bastard (right or left) asking "well, why didn't we go into Syria?" as if the world should have a one-size-fits-all policy when it comes to intervention.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        As you say, "of course". Wall Street Jerkholes.

    • I guess you could say, "Muammar doesn't Libya anymore."

      • not that Dewey

        He's just Phoenician up.

    • glamourdammerung

      So who is more worried about Libya's pending regime change, Republicans or Bashar al-Assad?

  • Doktor Zoom

    Heading for bed, but first, a short piece from Aljazeera's Libya Liveblog that really made me say "wow." It's just a photo and these 2 short paragraphs:

    A reminder of how things change: This picture was taken at the 2010 "Arab African Summit" in Sirte, Gaddafi's hometown. The four leaders in front: Tunisia's Ben Ali, Yemen's Saleh, Libya's Gaddafi and Egypt's Mubarak.

    Ben Ali has fled and been tried in absentia, Saleh has been seriously injured in an attack on his compound and is recuperating in Saudi Arabia, Mubarak faces the death penalty in his own country, and Gaddafi's whereabouts remain unknown

  • dcmarie

    I simply don't understand how people who seem to be entirely misinformed on political hot topics are gaining momentum in the political field. Even if I could get past her focus on our Cold War nemesis, I simply cannot get past her homophobic mindset and overly religious political beliefs. Not to mention the fact that she completely ignored any questions she didn't like in Meet the Press with host David Gregory. Oh Ms. Bachman.

  • dcmarie

    I simply don't understand how people who seem to be entirely misinformed on political hot topics are gaining momentum in the political field. Even if I could get past her focus on our Cold War nemesis, I simply cannot move past her homophobic comments. Not to mention the fact that she is trying to push those old comments under the rug (as seen in her interview with Meet the Press' David Gregory).

  • If they find Gaddafi, they may find Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa in the same place.

  • The one true sign of an "unstoppable decline" would be to elect Michele Bachmann to anything ever again. http://sahinnparadisegelenekselramazancoskusu.net

  • DemonicRage

    You know what? In this instance, I give the point to Michele, despite the fact that she phrased it inaccurately. The Former Soviet Union, not really democratic at all, is showing its true colors by giving important support to the Assad regimen in Syria.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Whatever the aims of Russia today, it is simply a gross misunderstanding of reality to call it the Soviet Union. If my 89-year-old father called it that, I would give him a pass, but not someone running for POTUS. I don't think we should ever play nice with them and give them the benefit of the doubt, as they never would with us (but then I'm a meanie at heart).

      • AJWjr.

        I don't think we should ever play nice with them and give them the benefit of the doubt, as they never would with us

        For a moment there I thought you were talking about Dems vs Reps.

  • Negropolis

    Totally OT, but Congresswoman Maxine Waters has been on fire, lately. I know she's ethically compromised, but if she's going to keep this up, well…

    Waters vowed to push Congress to focus on creating more jobs. "I'm not afraid of anybody," said Waters. "This is a tough game. You can't be intimidated. You can't be frightened. And as far as I'm concerned, the 'tea party' can go straight to hell."

    Take it to 'em, Maxine. Take it to 'em. 'Bout time someone hit them back. I want someone to hit them so hard they choke on their tongue, the bullies.

    • Ethically compromised = she got caught.

      Member of the House Ethics Committee = hasn't been caught yet.

      I heard her on a news item that NPR carried–the Congressional Black Caucus is holding job fairs throughout the country, this one in Atlanta. She sounded magnificent.

  • deleted2055941

    "Khrushchev,tear down this Iron Curtain ".

  • Don't know if this is true, but I heard Jon Stewart from the 8.18 show use the word "poors" which, last time I checked, is a genuine WonkWord™ – so who reads Wonkette? Stewart or his writers?

  • mumbly_joe

    A friend of mine actually posited a theory by which Shely Bachman's inane historical errors and general insanity actually could make sense:

    She's a time wizard. She's a time wizard and often experiences time backwards.

    In this sense, yes, one of the biggest threats on the horizon is the rise of the Soviet Union, which will happen in the "next" 20 years or so. Also, Elvis was "born" -which is to say, his life "started"- on August 16th.

    This also explains most of her policy positions. Obamacare is the worst thing ever: it takes away all of poor peoples' health care, and precipitates the centuries-long progressive oppression of black people that will culminate in their enslavement. Also FDR caused the Great Depression, Obama caused the Great Recession, and Bush inherited two wars from Obama. Also, massive tax cuts fix deficit crises, and austerity measures help end recessions. And all of that is why Obama is going to be the last black president, ever.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Listen: Michele Bachmann has come unstuck in time.

  • snapfinger23

    Three wars…Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya, right? Though Libya is kind of a half-ass war. But if you add it to our half-ass war with Pakistan, then it really is three.

    Then there's North Korea, of course. So that makes four.

    But what about Yemen? Aren't we fighting there? Or is that part of war number three? One third Pakistan, one third Libya and one third Yemen?

    Fortunately we can do most of these wars remotely and multitask. Just give our boys a joy stick and some Red Bull and they'll pull in high scores in no time…

  • deleted2055941

    " Khrushchev,tear down this Iron Curtain "

  • deleted2055941

    Khrushchev,Tear down this Iron Curtain !

  • spends2much

    The bullshit explanation of the flub is usually better than the flub itself You know, where she tells us that all Decent People know she meant, but Liberals "twist her words" which in Bachmannia, just means repeating them.

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