HOARDERS  7:34 pm August 19, 2011

Rick Perry Has a Large Collection of Boots and ‘Medical Tests’

by Blair Burke

I think I'll name this dog BOOTS, after all my BOOTS! Heh hehEvery day is Christmas for Future President Cowboy Rick Perry. This is partially because that is the law down in Texas, where as much as they want to “teach Creationism” to their children, they are cursed with the burden of also including some facts about science, even though all the miniature Rick Perrys find it so boring, and wrong. ANYWAY. Every day is Christmas because Rick Perry sure does get a lot of gifts, just like the little niño Jesus got, in the manger. Specifically, people just love sending Rick Perry crates full of hair gel and boots. And also “medical tests,” so maybe Rick Perry also suffers from migraines, like all the most gifted Republican candidates!

Rick Perry must report all his gifts, which is lucky for us, because we get to know about all the weird things that everyone is anxious to send Rick Perry.

Perry reported accepting “medical tests” or “medical assessments” in 2001 and 2010 from Dr. Kenneth Cooper of Dallas, Texas, an exercise guru regarded as the father of aerobics, and also in 2010 from Dr. Randy Hickle, an anesthesiologist who founded a state-of-the art primary care facility in Lubbock, Texas.

Then there are the boots.

Perry, his wife and children have accepted pairs from El Paso’s J. Robert Brown, a Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission member; Fort Worth auto dealer Roger Williams, who Perry appointed Secretary of State; oilman and major GOP donor Harold Courson; and real estate developer Fausto Yturria.

But Perry’s most prolific boot-giver by far is famed Houston bootmaker Rocky Carroll, who has given Perry at least 10 pairs of custom-made boots since 1991, according to the filings, including a 2008 pair bearing the insignia of the Republican Governors Association, which Perry chaired until stepping down to run for president.

Carroll — who has made boots for everyone from Queen Elizabeth and Liz Taylor to former Presidents Carter, Reagan and Bush (both 41 and 43) —told POLITICO his boots start at $500 a pair. Though he said he wants nothing in return for the pairs he’s given to Perry and other dignitaries, he did concede in a March interview with the St. Petersberg Times that it’s good advertising to have presidents wearing his boots.

And he predicted Perry “is going to be the next president,” recounting a call he made to the governor’s cell phone this week.

“I said ‘I’ve already started your boots with the presidential seal on them,’” said Carroll. “So he can wear them and break them in.”

Cowboy boots will be such a great change for America, and so much more fun than those Seal of the President burqas that Obama tried to bring into vogue. [Politico]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 161 comments }

pukebot August 19, 2011 at 7:38 pm

bank of america is hoping to give him some boots full of qe3 money.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 7:39 pm

When are we going to wipe this smarmy little buttlick off the pages of History? I can't wait.

PuckStopsHere August 19, 2011 at 7:39 pm

I don't care how many pair he owns, he still couldn't pour piss out of any of them if the directions were printed on the heel. (Thanks to LBJ for the quote…)

Swampgas_Man August 19, 2011 at 8:21 pm

re: Pearls Before Swine: "Not quite, but you get bonus points for sticking your head in and trying to dry the piss w/ your hair."

WorkTheSaxofone August 21, 2011 at 12:08 am

Dude was born to be the dumb half of a comedy duo.

Barb August 19, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Wonder if Marcus Bachmann will get gifts of man clogs from anyone? There is no gayer shoe, or is there?

johnnyzhivago August 19, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Crocs?

starfanglednut August 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Oh no honey. No self respecting gay man would be caught dead in those.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Please don't tell me Marcus strikes you as self-respecting. (Actually, if he strikes you, don't tell me at all.)

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Tell me!

pukebot August 19, 2011 at 7:49 pm

ya, cowboy boots. "shit kickers" ? more like santorum galoshes.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:17 pm

LOLworthy.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Sorry, Barb, I'm going with "Crocs" for teh pinnacle of ghey.

Although I really think of Marcus as more of an ostrich mules sort of guy. Maybe in a deep shade of electric pink. Eh?

BlueStateLibel August 19, 2011 at 7:40 pm

And bank of america likes it best when he wears his hooker boots.

tihond August 19, 2011 at 7:49 pm

And brings his own knee pads.

DashboardBuddha August 19, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Are those the ones with the round heels?

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"when he wears his hooker boots."

They have little spurs, in the shape of the Star of David, to help him gain purchase???

iburl August 19, 2011 at 7:41 pm

A mindless rich pretty boy fake cowboy christian evangelical Texas governor who got his start in big time politics from Karl Rove, as the president… I wonder what that will be like?

starfanglednut August 19, 2011 at 8:30 pm

What could go wrong?

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Well, as you know, it doesn't matter who you vote for. That guy from texas, or whoever the other "democrat" in the race is. I mean, after all, both parties are exactly the same. What could go wrong if the republicans were in charge? What, I ask you, what could go so fucking wrong??!!!?!?!

*sobs*

KenLayIsAlive August 20, 2011 at 11:59 pm

All we have to do is make sure that our candidate gets more votes than him.

Oh wait, that didn't work last time either.

Negropolis August 21, 2011 at 12:33 am

Obama's from Chicago, so at least two can play this game, this time. lol

nounverb911 August 19, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Did Perry make boots out of the coyote he shot while jogging?

OkieDokieDog August 19, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Oh! He's so cute I just want to kiss him!

The puppeh named BOOTS, not the Puss-in-Boots that's holding him.

genxr August 19, 2011 at 7:45 pm

This weekend I'm going to cheer myself up by imagining Rick Perry on election night, losing, but wearing an expensive pair of boots with the Presidential seal, already worn in.

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 7:57 pm

…and nothing else but shame…

genxr August 19, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Ah-

*puts down whiskey*

*picks up brain bleach*

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 8:13 pm

sorry. better like this?

"…and nothing else but shame a Snuggie…"

feel free to substitute Slanket for Snuggie.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Tears, also.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 19, 2011 at 7:45 pm

So, out with it, how many "sessions" with Marcus Bachmann has Perry been "gifted" over the years?

genxr August 19, 2011 at 7:47 pm

It's like Willie Nelson said, "What did you think all those saddles and boots was about?"

sunmusing August 20, 2011 at 10:43 am

Was it the "free" prostate exam that Perry got from Marcus?

Tengu August 19, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Only real men fetishize high-heeled, leather footwear.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Well, those Spanish vaqueros were short little shits.

They needed a few extra inches, like Tom Cruse…

johnnyzhivago August 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Free services from an anesthesiologist would explain a lot about Perry's behavior

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 8:02 pm

makes me wish i was a governor.

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:26 pm

The Propofol would flow like milk and honey, I'm sure.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm

This just proves that Rick Perry would be in touch with the poor, since he gets gifts all the time just like they get food stamps and welfare. He understands what they must feel like.

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Pete Hoekstra libel!

nounverb911 August 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm

“I said ‘I’ve already started your boots with the presidential seal on them,’”
Are they in Obama's size?

Limeylizzie August 19, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Well, if Ken has his way Perry will be President.

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Maybe after President Obama kicks his ass up one side and down the other, he can take away his boots, just to make (P)Rick cry.

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:39 pm

But I do still adore Ken as well, so there's that.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 20, 2011 at 8:28 am

Whoa, burn thread!

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Yeah, who would have thunk that Rick Perry is just another Republican who wants to lose to Obama in 2012???

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 1:58 am

Well, if his bowling shoes are any evidence (size 13), I think we're gonna' need some bigger boots. The dude is like Sideshow Bob, he is.

SexySmurf August 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm

"Yeah, fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
Yeah I saw it, I saw it, I tell you no lies
Yeah Fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
I saw it, I saw it with my own two eyes"

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 7:57 pm

right on.

iburl August 19, 2011 at 9:29 pm

http://youtu.be/EvuI8d57N9I

good live primal sabbath

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Hi Ozzy

OC_Surf_Serf August 19, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Perry reported accepting “medical tests” or “medical assessments”

Why, no chickens?

weejee August 19, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Chastes isn't gonna give Rick Perry any of his chickens.

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm

'Cause he ends up chocking them all.

johnnyzhivago August 19, 2011 at 7:49 pm

I expect America will be wearing her Fuck Me Boots if Perry is elected.

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:40 pm

And I'm sure he'll take her (him) up on it.

OC_Surf_Serf August 19, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Gettin' free boots? Its only fair: Perry has been givin' the boot to Texas for years…

Of course Texas has the least insured (30% of kids!)

Doktor Zoom August 19, 2011 at 8:49 pm

FREEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!

ifthethunderdontgetya August 19, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Dr. Kenneth Cooper of Dallas, Texas

KOOP!
~

owhatever August 19, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Somebody needs to stick one of those boots up his ass.

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 9:57 pm

You mean all of them!

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Why stop at one? After all, the Wah Poo assures us that Perry "has a HUGE opening." Let's see how HUGE.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Those boots are pointed so you can kill cockroaches in corners.

Comes in handy down in Cockroach land, I mean Texas…

arihaya August 19, 2011 at 7:52 pm

you know who else has a LARGE collection of shoes?

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head?

GuanoFaucet August 19, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Imelda Marcos?

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:28 pm

I wasn't quick enough. :(

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Damn you, GuanoFaucet.

Mumbletypeg August 19, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Isolà
Manolo Blahnik
Etienne Aigner
Lilly Pulitzer
Dr. Scholls
Alexander McQueen
?

Limeylizzie August 19, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Shit, I do.

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Barbie Doll?

ShaveTheWhales August 19, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Hitler?

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:25 pm

My ex, of course. We couldn't pass a shoe store without a lengthy (and excruciatingly boring) excursion therein for YAPS (Yet Another Pair of Shoes, in case some mutt-lover gets on my case). Boxes and boxes and shelves and suitcases full of shoes.

flamingpdog August 20, 2011 at 1:30 am
DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Gay men??????

DaRooster August 22, 2011 at 10:51 am

The Kentucky Derby?

SudsMcKenzie August 19, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Who donated the assless chaps?

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 9:52 pm

If chaps had asses, they would be called pants. Redundant. Sounds cool though.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I say old chap….

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:26 pm

That's the $69 question.

ShaveTheWhales August 19, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Fuck, I always had a pretty high opinion of Ken Cooper.

weejee August 19, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Regards Senor Perry's boots, they aren't called shit kickers for nothin'.

Regards Professor Perry's Tejas edjumacation pronouncement, science can't be good science if you load it up with all these observations, and measurements, and facts bullpucky. Science is much better understood after 6 or 10 pints of a good strong stout just before you start worshiping at the porcelain shrine.

GuanoFaucet August 19, 2011 at 7:55 pm

The greatest gift Perry ever received, bottomless stupidity, was given to him by the gene fairy.

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Heathen. It wasn't given to him by evolution, but by the good Lord, who has a wicked sense of humor, at times.

Sue4466 August 19, 2011 at 8:49 pm

I'm thinking Perry's kind of stupid also takes a bit of effort.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Exactly!

It's called "Intentional Ignorance" and it is something to work at, ignoring all those facts and logical statements, sure does tucker a feller out…

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:42 pm

I knew Gene Fairy in middle school. It was a very difficult time for him.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 19, 2011 at 7:57 pm

P.S. Fuck Rick Perry.

FIRE IT UP!!!!
~

Callyson August 19, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Oh great–now my dog is after me to go rescue that cute puppy from Perry's clutches. Poor pooch does look frightened…

JoshuaNorton August 19, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Channeling Molly Ivins:

‘The next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president, please pay attention!’

ThundercatHo August 20, 2011 at 8:51 am

Was that engraved on her tombstone? If not, it should have been. If Ricky gets the nomination all us Wonketteers are gonna have to wear Tshirts with that quote. Many, many upfists for you.

poncho_pilot August 19, 2011 at 8:06 pm

human interest stories about sociopath politicians. wake me up when he has one giant boot that he fits his whole body in and jumps on turtles and mushrooms with.

until then he's just another shithead from Texas.

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 8:09 pm

To bad we can't stuff all dem der boots up his ass, no doubt they would fit, comfortably. I'm pretty sure he'll find a way to stick them all in his mouth by the end of 2011.

hilbillyheroine August 19, 2011 at 8:10 pm

OMG OMG. I have a new neighbor, from Maricopa County, AZ! I didn't know it until I helped him get himself out of a locked truck. He took a glass of "sweet tea" from me, and sat down, waited for help. He's a staunch tea-partier, and I confessed I'm a liberal. He drank the sweet tea. He all of a sudden started agreeing with me. I think my sweet tea should get a patent.

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 8:16 pm

You sure that "sweet tea" isn't spiked with phenobarbital, or LSD? Sounds rather Alice-In-Wonder-Landish to me.

hilbillyheroine August 19, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Just good a good old-fashioned killer dose of sugar, BABY. LOL. Maybe that's the secret! Teabaggers need sugar: Lots and lots of sugar.

V572 T-Blow August 19, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Doesn't work on Mormons.

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:55 pm

How about a nice cup of orange juice? Or is that too perky and devilish for them, too?

Limeylizzie August 19, 2011 at 8:52 pm

I read that as "I helped him get himself out of a locked trunk".

ShaveTheWhales August 19, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Either way, wtf?

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:17 pm

His new neighbor is Houdini?

widget2011 August 19, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I've got a great idea. You need to invite Maricopa County's Sheriff Joe Arpaio over for some tea (bagging). Maybe since he always seems to have his panties in a bundle, or has a tighty-whitey permanent wedgie, you could talk some sense into him.

sezme August 21, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Why am I not surprised that a tea-bagger couldn't get out of a locked truck?

hilbillyheroine August 19, 2011 at 8:16 pm

I am thinking of opening a clinic, with my "sweet tea". It's oklahoma. We have lots of conservatives. If I could just get 1/2 of the people who lock their keys in their gun-racked trucks, I could make MILLIONS. With my sweet tea.

ShaveTheWhales August 19, 2011 at 10:04 pm

I am intrigued by your "sweet tea", and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 1:52 am

I see what you're doing. If the kindness doesn't kill 'em, contributing to their Type 2 diabetes will. Genius! Bwahahaha!!!

tihond August 19, 2011 at 8:18 pm

You heard it here first, medical assessment is the new "wide stance."

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Was it from a "proctologist," by any chance?

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Dubya 2: Electric Bugaloo

mavenmaven August 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Did he have to list all the free rectal "exams" he got?

Negropolis August 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm

There was an old governor who lived in his boots,
He spewed so much shit and hubris, no one knew quite what to do…

DashboardBuddha August 19, 2011 at 9:57 pm

or…

There was an old governor that lived in a boot
He was surrounded by browns so he learned how to shoot.

Radiotherapy® August 19, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Puppies sell, and putting one next to Perry is your classic lip gloss on a pig.

Hurricane Ali August 19, 2011 at 8:47 pm

I think I'll make this puppy into a boot.

/alt text fixed

HedonismBot August 19, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Designer clothing is an acceptable gift for a politician one supports, and should not be viewed with any special political significance. As I recall, George Dubya Bush received some quality dunce caps from his more prominent admirers. Dick Cheney got some stylish leather hoods and cats-o-nine-tails.

Gunner Asch August 19, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I'm tired of shelling out 12 bucks every couple of years for a new pair of Costco sneakers. Won't somebody please start buying them for me?

PristinePantalones August 19, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Well, there's your problem, dood. If you were paying $500 a pair for them boots, they'd last longer than two years. Also, people would give them to you for free. (Notice how nobody ever gives us poorz cheap shit for free?)

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:45 pm

R U RICH? Are you in congress? Are you mighty famous for being in reality teevee? Then you do not deserve free gifts, my friend.

BarackMyWorld August 19, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Well, he gives everyone else the gift of comedy, so quid pro quo.

Sharkey August 19, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Blair,

Have I ever told you how much Iluvu?

-Sharksterino formerly ChetInAbsentiAtkins

hilbillyheroine August 19, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Maricopa Theracopa 501C -3. Cuz only Jesus can cure your of your racial, ethnic, and gay phobias. Jesus can stop all those tax dollars, too.

Crank_Tango August 19, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Wow, he sure likes prostate exams.

Rotundo_ August 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Most folks get squirrelly with just a finger, this one asked for the whole hand and moaned and purred when it was up him. I just guess Texans do everything bigger….

x111e7thst August 19, 2011 at 9:56 pm

So will BofA want Perry to wear the boots with the Presidential Seal along with the garter belt and stockings for their private sessions?

DashboardBuddha August 19, 2011 at 10:03 pm

While here in New Hampster, RP told a kid who asked a question about the teaching of evolution. RP basically said that in Texas, they teach both and folks can make up their own minds.

ahem…

YOU CANNOT "MAKE UP YOUR MIND" ABOUT FACTS!

flamingpdog August 20, 2011 at 1:37 am

That was not intended to be a "make up your mind" statement.

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 2:01 am

In Rick Perry's America you can, that's for sure.

I like how Melissa Harris Perry said on MSNBC, last morning, that she should got home and teach her daughter that 2 + 2 = 4 & 6 and let her decide which is correct. lol

BTWBFDIMHO August 20, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Yes, he said that and he's wrong. There is no teaching of creationism, not here, not there.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:11 pm

"in Texas, they teach both and folks can make up their own minds."

Yup, every Texan should take an elevator to the highest building around and then jump off.

After all, gravity is "just a theory" and every Texan should "make up their own mind" about the validity of that theory.

JUMP, TEXANS, JUMP!!!!

mumbly_joe August 19, 2011 at 10:17 pm

In Rick Perry's defense, though, 2010 was after Obamacare passed, which means those two tests BOTH COULD HAVE KILLED HIM.

Beowoof August 19, 2011 at 11:13 pm

When you throw as much shit as this guy the need for boots seems obvious.

Nothingisamiss August 19, 2011 at 11:46 pm

#WINNING

mayor_quimby August 20, 2011 at 12:43 am

Are my eyes messed up, or is there something fucking wrong with that puppy. It looks like he has rear wing flaps, WTF?

finallyhappy August 20, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I thought the puppy was wearing a cape(because Perry likes his superhero dogs) but it is actually Perry''s shirt – as yoou ahve probably figured out in the 19 hours since you posted

AJWjr. August 20, 2011 at 12:47 am

RUN, PUPPY!

KeepFnThatChicken August 20, 2011 at 1:14 am

It isn't the boots that cause the swagger… it's the chafing. It's what happens when you rub an asshole the wrong way.

Troglodeity August 20, 2011 at 1:16 am

Santorum was right after all. First gay marriage, and now this picture.

Robman2 August 20, 2011 at 1:26 am

OK, the as in THE boot maker is Lucchese in EPT, so the second rate Governor (The LT actually manages the State) hasn't driven far enough west it seems, but in EPT, there are way too many Mezicans. OF course we do not know, which boots besides the Rock have landed on the Austin runways O' fashion.

Another odd fact, I believe the dome in the state building, is still lined with tinfoil left over from Dubya's reign, could splain' a few things..

flamingpdog August 20, 2011 at 1:41 am

♫ Rick's boots are made for wankin'. ♫

Nostrildamus August 20, 2011 at 1:44 am

Those "medical assessments" are just Marcus Bachmann with a tape measure.

Left_Leftie August 20, 2011 at 2:07 am

Fort Worth auto dealer Roger Williams, who Perry appointed Secretary of State = Heck of Job Brownie.
Texas sucks sorry, it just does.

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 2:49 am

If you want a picture of a Rick Perry presidency, my friends, imagine a cowboy boot stamping on a human face — forever.

gurukalehuru August 20, 2011 at 3:45 am

nice reference

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Perry disgusts me to a degree that even Dubya couldn't when he first ran. There doesn't seem to be anything authentic or even well-meaning about Perry. Nothing. He just reeks of prideful, arrogant ignorance all the way down.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:08 pm

"He just reeks of prideful, arrogant ignorance all the way down."

In other words, just a regular Texan..

gurukalehuru August 20, 2011 at 3:44 am

Checkers!

zhubajie August 20, 2011 at 8:04 am

Medical tests for what? VD?

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:07 pm

"Antibiotic resistant gonorrhea."

It's what all the young kids are medical testing for…

Ancient_Hacker August 20, 2011 at 10:21 am

I wonder how many of those medial tests involved someone checking out his prostate, form the inside?

I do NOT want to see the Youtube video of this.

Porter Melmoth August 20, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I will join the millions who are ready to cheerfully adopt that poor puppy in order to save it from certain DinglePerrian doom (and Mutual Assured Domination).

Warpde August 20, 2011 at 5:21 pm

“I said ‘I’ve already started your boots with the presidential seal on them,’” said Carroll. “So he can wear them and break them in.”
Hey Carrol.
Don't forget to make em lose enough to slip in some sheep legs.
Bah…ha..ha…ha…ha!

ttommyunger August 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Gosh, what a couple of cuties. The little one must be a Black Lab, and I'm guessing the big one with all the wrinkles is a Shar Pei. BTW, I couldn't help noticing Governor Fuck-Stick is wearing his wedding band on the inside, behind his Class Ring. Must have been impressed during his Air Farce Days by the Ring-Knockers from Colorado Springs… Doesn't take much to impress some people.

peaceshelly August 20, 2011 at 8:02 pm

So Perry gets free healthcare while shitting all over free healthcare…

BZ1 August 21, 2011 at 10:53 am

boot him one…

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Does anyone know why cowboy boots always have heels?

dahboner August 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Shit, Perry has already tried the quack treatment of taking stem cells out of his fat and injecting them into his back.

Hey Rick!

Don’t let them Doctors, with their fancy education and book learnin’ tell YOU what to do.

Ya better get started on this latest treatment

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Shit, Perry has already tried the quack treatment of taking stem cells out of his fat and injecting them into his back.

Hey Rick!

Don't let them Doctors, with their fancy education and book learnin' tell YOU what to do.

Ya better get started on this latest treatment

writechic August 22, 2011 at 9:43 am

What! No ear herpes? Lame.

DaRooster August 22, 2011 at 10:52 am

His boots have more horse shit on the inside than they could ever have out.

V572 T-Blow August 19, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Well they can’t have alcohol or tobacco, let alone “drugs.” So the only mood-altering substance available is the insulin rush. Plus Jell-O, which is sugar too.

Negropolis August 20, 2011 at 1:51 am

Alchohol and tobacoo? Hell, they can't even drink hot cocoa lest they tempt the devil, let alone dark tea.

DahBoner August 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Even the herbals, like Orange Zinger are the devil's beverages????

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