Ha ha, U.S. President of Doom Barack Obama obviously has no idea how awful his government is. He seems to think that if an American person has a question about something, that person can just call up the government to get that question answered! HA! OUTRAGEOUS. Come on, Barack Obama, have some sense.
At Wednesday’s town hall in Atkinson, Ill., a local farmer who said he grows corn and soybeans expressed his concerns to President Barack Obama about “more rules and regulations” — including those concerning dust, noise and water runoff — that he heard would negatively affect his business.
The president, on day three of his Midwest bus tour, replied: “If you hear something is happening, but it hasn’t happened, don’t always believe what you hear.”
When the room broke into soft laughter, the president added, “No — and I’m serious about that.”
Saying that “folks in Washington” like to get “all ginned up” about things that aren’t necessarily happening (“Look what’s comin’ down the pipe!”), Obama’s advice was simple: “Contact USDA.”
“Talk to them directly. Find out what it is that you’re concerned about,” Obama told the man. “My suspicion is, a lot of times, they’re going to be able to answer your questions and it will turn out that some of your fears are unfounded.”
Barack Obama is probably just confused, because he is so fortunate as to have a nice lady living in his house who is capable of answering all sorts of vegetable-related questions. [Politico]
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Hey, we've got Kortney, and we still sometimes have vegetable-related questions. That she probably couldn't answer. Or something.
Kortney can answer any question about vegetables as long the question is "Where will they fit?
Well, see, in order to get the goddamn veges for Kortney, I gotta get 'em growing on my plants, heah, and *that's* where my questions is at. So, Kortney just won't do as a source of information. Hopefully, the USDA will.
I may be completely alone here, but I truly despise Kortney and her vegetable.
I tune it out–chicks chugging vegetables or dildoes don't really do it for me.
Now ice cream cones, is different story.
I think not. We all seem to have a love/hate relationship with Kortney and her kukumber. Although perhaps some of the loneliez do fap to the sight.
No, you're not completely alone. I long for the days of Vida Guerra and her chili pepper.
I read your statements as " Well, see, in order to get the goddamn veges for Kortney, I gotta get 'em growing on my PANTS, heah…" Why, oh why must I have such a dirty and adolescent mind?
Because you need it to keep up with teh Wonketteerz?
Poor Kortney. What they don't tell you is the tragic backstory. She forgot to go organic when she and her veggie went orgasmic, and the massive amounts of intra-vaginal organophosphates did her in. That's why the wife and I always wrap our veggies. Well, that, and because guests complain that the salad tastes funny the next day if we don't.
Is it wrong to feel intimidated by that cucumber? I only ask because there's this friend of mine…
dear usda,
my monsanto created super weeds are resistant to poison. should i climb them like jack and the fucking beanstalk and ask the giant in the clouds if he could be a president with some balls?
Fee-fi-fo-fum
I smell the blood of a Kenyan man…
You know, I spent four years in local politics and most of the issues I dealt with concerned drainage and irrigation problems.
Is there something wrong with the political system in the US, that the President is FORCED to waste his time offering a bunch of hayseed farmers in Iowa advice regarding their irrigation ditches while the greatest industrial country in the world is listing at a 30 degree angle in the ocean and about to take a dive for the bottom like the Titanic?
It's called "Only local news cares about local bullshit like riparian issues, and they're all gone now because the blondes on Fox News have great tits."
Upfist for teaching me a new word. (Not 'tits'.)
I would say yes.
Maybe we can sneak Paul Krugman into the next hayseed audience to get some real answers.
sorry to pick nits, jz, but this happened in illinois, not iowa.
Planning Board is quite possibly the highest office in the land to allow a person holding the post to behave with a modicum of honor, dignity and intelligence. The further up you go, it's all downhill from there.
Well, dangit, Obama has compared himself to Ronald Reagan in the past, and if there was ever a Preznit that was closer to being a vegetable than Ronny Raygun, I'd sure like you to point him out to me, by golly.
George W. Bush, but he was an angry, entitled vegetable, which Ronnie was not. Ronnie belonged to the Cargo Cult wing of the Republican Party, where you have to believe that if you sympathize with the problems of the superrich and captains of industry, they will cut you in on a slice of their sweet, sweet honeydew.
Translation: "Go pester that douche Tom Vilsack for a while. I'm too busy for this shit."
"Oh so you're concerned about the USDA making rules about the amount of dust your tractor is making?? My advice is to take the sharpest attachment blade you can find and shove it up your ass and see if that cuts the dust down…. got it???"
You laugh. But, whenever I'm hungover and have questions about how to stop my liver from furiously trying to claw its way out of my body, I contact the ATF. They are always very helpful.
Obama’s advice was simple: “Contact USDA.”
Actually, they cut the whole quote down, leaving only the last part in. Here's the whole quote:
"Sue the living beejesus outta the USDA!. Oh, wait, you're white aren't you? Then just Contact USDA."
This is the meme of the week – Democrats Hate Tractors. Rick pArry sez Bamz is going to make you get a commercial license just to drive it across the road to the other 40 (as if that pansy cheerleader could even tell a New Holland from a Farmall).
What will he do next? Make them plow using a Swiffer?
i so wish i had a 'p' arsenal for the swiffer comment.
What a fucking whiny baby. He didn't even mention the sizable USDA subsidies for his dust and noise.
“If you hear something is happening, but it hasn’t happened, don’t always believe what you hear.”
Mr. Preznit, could you just please for once stick your neck out and say, "If you hear something is happening on Fox News or Limbaugh or the Drudge Report or in a FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: e-mail from your second cousin Elroy, don't EVER believe what you hear!"
But if he did that then Rushie-poo's feefees would be hurt! Can't have that.
WTF? Are you saying that he didn't raise our taxes and take away our guns?
Dust, noise, and water runoff will save the economy, Bammerz, why do you hate them?
Finally, Obama has released the plan. Get the hayseeds to call the government. Then the UN will know where to find them, confiscate their farms in the name of global warming, and install mosques to establish the new Caliphate and force Americans to use CFL light bulbs.
It all seems so easy now.
You said too much, Lionel. As we speak, the black helicopters are racing toward your house.
Just beware of the chemtrails, or any oddly shaped clouds over your house. Or any clouds. Or if there's no clouds at all, then yer fucked too.
The real killers are the dust bunnies. Completely vicious nano-engineered agents of One World Government domination.
For the love of god…don't look under your bed!
Might be so big they are Kenyan dust rhinos.
Strangely enough, woke up to a thick fog here in the Pacific Northwest. There on to me. If you don't see a post from me in 24 hours, let my family know that I loved them.
Black helicopters aren't such a big deal any more. We've learned we can just shoot them down with
a CIA-provided Stinger missilean RPG.Mr Preznit, I'm a farmer and I am afraid that the gubmint will try to regulate the 100 acre lagoon where I pump my pig shit, the one between the elementary school and the old folks home.
Needs more Archer Daniels Midland. Where's David Brinkley when you need him? Oh, that's right–dead.
Joe the Farmer?
i don't know, if he runs a farm, he's got to be smarter than joe 'our lady of failed unionized blue collar dreams'.
where IS joe btw?
Probably in some Toledo gutter.
Probably in some Toledo gutter…trying to suck enough cock to afford a bottle of Richard's Wild Irish Rose.
His latest ass – hat move was supporting the attack on unions in a Wisconsin rally: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-1251706...
"Just call whatever thing deals with that.. I don't know, the agriculture dept. or whatever the hell. Honestly, I'm so fucking exhausted. Really, would you want my job right now? I didn't think so. Next question, please."
Dial tone. . .furiously pounded out numbers punched, 2.0.2.7.2.0.2.7.9.1
I feel sorry for the operator that is going to take that call, which assuredly will have some sort of right-wing shock jock, the 700 Club or Fox News producers recording the whole transaction.
what if he's right? what if you could actually call the USDA and get reasonable answers?
i say this b/c i've been forced to do some fairly complicated taxes over the last couple years and every time i've called the IRS for help, they've actually, well, helped.
then i compare my experience with the IRS to let's just say, oh, AT&T who i am forced to call every other month b/c every other month my bill resets b/c i have a very old AT&T landline and a very old AT&T dsl account and now that i have shiny NEW AT&T accounts of all kinds they deny any knowledge of each other's existence or of their previous AT&T incarnations.
and i think: i thank GOD for the private sector.
Not only will they help, but if you have one of them fancy mailboxes that use electricity, you can even go through the tubes to get a picture on yer screen that lists all the rules that're fixin' to be passd. I tell you what!
You need to spend more time listening to Reagan's "Government is the problem" speeches.
When I first got my AT&T lines hooked up, I had to argue with them about whether or not my home even existed at my address. They tried to convince me it did not.
Now every month, and for the last few years, I get two pieces of mail from them (besides the monthly statement). One notifies me that my accounts have been deactivated. The other notifies me that they have been reactivated. I attempted to get them to stop sending me these, but naturally, nobody on the other end of the phone has any knowledge of any of this.
But the gubbamint better keep its hands off my fone companiez!
"One notifies me that my accounts have been deactivated. The other notifies me that they have been reactivated."
Wow. Joseph Heller would be so proud.
Oh, sure, like we're going to get accurate information from the gummint. Hell, I called FEMA and they totally denied that they're preparing concentration camps for the roundup of Patriots.
Well, we didn't always tell the truth. I couldn't tell you about the secret cloning experiments we were doing to create an army of Michelle Obamas. I retired from the Feds so I am not sure how that has progessed
An army of Michelles would be HAWT.
That's 'cause you only got the receptionist.
First they took all mah guns away. Than they took mah tractor. Then they made me stop putting Round-Up in the crick. Than tehy made me take down my outhouse. Than they took mah dawg what was chained up in the backyard. Than they made me stop using mah tro't line to torture and eat ancient turtles for no good fucking reason whatsoever. Cain't even change mah oil at the beach no more. Whar's the freedom at?
What did this moron do for a follow up? Ask Obama to guess his birthday?
It's kind of sad that he has to be so earnest on this point, because he realizes that most people will believe random shit they hear from people they "trust." Gives me the sadz is what it does. Sigh. So reasonable to an unreasonable nation.
Hello, USDA.
Yes. This is Peggy…
The farmer's mistake was pressing 0 to speak to a live operator at Obamabot Industries 2000. He should have chosen the menu option for "Do you have questions about water runoff?"
Listen, I work for the USDA; it took months to write those new regulations that Iowa farmers must grow their corn quietly, on well scrubbed linoleum floors with IV irrigation.
Something is happening, but you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Iowa Farmer Jones.?
Like many of you here, no doubt, I am disappointed in Obama over the incarceration of Bradley Manning, the lack of incarceration of George W. Bush et alii, his failure to close Guantanamo, his continuation of the completely unnecessary war against marijuana,the weakass version of health care that finally got passed, his failure to tax the rich, his slow response to the BP oil spill and a host of other issues, but I've got to admit, that was a goddamned brilliant fucking answer.
Call the USDA? Aren't they the dickweeds who are supposed to keep mouse eyeballs, e-coli and salmonella contamination out of our food supply? Yeah, good luck with that.
Mouse eyeballs – I almost spit my organic cinnamon crunch cereal outa my mouth over that one! Hell, I guess at least they'd be organic mouse eyeballs.
you know that mark twain quote, about how a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes? well, this story presents another problem: a lie is a sexy, scary conspiracy theory that gets your dick all hard with rage, while the truth is talking to some nerd at the usda. the truth is boring and difficult, and too many americans would rather just wolf down a whopper.
double meanings, y'all!!!
Why not use the Darryll Issa approach and just change the name of your tractor to "Dust Machine"? Fixed!
He should have just said, "Go complain to Andrew Breitbart."
Yes, every time I have a tax question I call the IRS directly and they immediately send someone out to stick a steam-powered dildo up my butt to help me with my query. Yes, I said query. OK, maybe not "immediately send". But eventually.
“If you hear something is happening, but it hasn’t happened, don’t always believe what you hear.”
Good advice, Mr President. I respectfully suggest you follow that guideline when the Reeps claim that they are interested in bipartisan cooperation…this time…
Yeah I heard a bad rumor all off road vehicles (like tractors) were requiring CDLs now. Turned out that was not true at all. How did I find the answer? Went to the DOT website and sure enough they had a whole page dispelling the rumor and explaining current law.
When the room broke into soft laughter, the president added, “No — and I’m serious about that.”
http://sahinnparadisegelenekselramazancoskusu.net...
The percentage of each past president's cabinet who had worked in the private business sector prior to their appointment to the cabinet.
Here are the percentages.
T. Roosevelt……………… 38%
Taft…………………………. 40%
Wilson…………………….. 52%
Harding……………………. 49%
Coolidge………………….. 48%
Hoover ……………………. 42%
F. Roosevelt……………….50%
Truman……………………. 50%
Johnson…………………… 47%
Nixon………………………. 53%
Ford……………………….. 42%
Carter……………………… 32%
Reagan……………………..86%
GH Bush………………….. 51%
Clinton ……………………. 39%
GW Bush…………………. 55%
And the winner is:
Obama……………………. 08%
Oh, if only more people in his administration knew how to maximize short-term profits through pyramid schemes and creative accounting to earn themselves a golden parachute when the company goes down in flames and begs for public bailout funds!.. But he's only got Timmy "Always Fail Upwards" Geithner.
Where'd you find this? Glenn Beck's chalkboard? Good thing W. had all them private sector folks, otherwise he might of crashed the econ — hey, wait a minute …
WSJ, compiled NYTarticles, WAPO WASHINGTON TIMES. need I go On.
At times like this Barry has to be thinking: "They don 't pay me enough for this shit.".
"When the room broke into soft laughter…"
The American dream died. The imbecilic acceptance of nonsense and lies as "common sense" and "It's that simple!" lead to inevitable conclusion that the American experiment is toast. Burnt toast. No marmalade. @negropolis: Sadz to the nth degree
So long as Jesus and/or Mary is present in that burnt toast, the experiment shall continue unabated! Why? 'Cause Jesus. Also, 'cause Freedom. Too.
mmmm…ice cream cones with chocolate sauce. Yes, the sauce smudges her cheek just a little so you lean over and…
Oh, so *that's* why some men stare at me when I get a cone. Oops…next time I'll order it in a cup. Though maybe that won't help with the girl on girl action obsessed dudes…
But then sometimes they look like that Reagan mural…
if it was a hitlerstache made of chocolate sauce on a pretty woman I would still lean over and…
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